


Jiraiya/Reader Stories

by SilverEyes49404



Category: Naruto
Genre: Abuse, Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood and Injury, Death of the reader, F/M, Fluff, It’s mostly going to be good times I swear, Love, Porn With Plot, Sexual Content, Swearing, Underage Sex, Violence, hes a good noodle, non-con/rape, not by him unless specified, oneshots, top quality under appreciated boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:47:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 74
Words: 423,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22345084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverEyes49404/pseuds/SilverEyes49404
Summary: A work dedicated to Jiraiya paired with a reader insert! Most of it is porn with plot.Some content does involve heavier themes like abuse, rape, violence, and death. Any chapter that includes these themes will be posted as a Warning! In the beginning notes with a list of what themes are involved.I update on Mondays or Tuesdays weekly.Requests are open!Leave a comment anywhere, I read all comments and reply to each one. Start the comment stating your interest in a request and I’ll reply as soon as I can. From there we can discuss what you want. I’ll do about anything but scat and golden showers.
Relationships: Jiraiya/Reader
Comments: 374
Kudos: 398





	1. Your Favourite Author

Shyly, you push the door open. Nervous and excited. Your favourite author was doing a book signing in a local book shop. You were excited. You planned on waiting in line, letting your nerves settle, and meet him all smooth like. Because you would rather not make a fool out of yourself in front of one of your heroes. But... the store was empty. Did you miss the event? You couldn’t have! You checked the date and time like eighty times! Oh... no there he is.

Looking rather bored and stewing in his own anger, was Jiraiya. Sitting behind a table with some of his books on display. He kept clicking the pen in his hand against the table in a quick rhythmic pattern. His other hand propped up his head with elbow on the table. His eyes completely lost in thought or daydreaming.

“Do a book signing,” he uttered under his breath, “it’ll be fun!” He mocked the joyful tone of someone. “God, I could just kill my publisher.”

No one wants to admit they read his raunchy books. He only signed one all day! It’s been two hours! Jiraiya is very sure he’s more popular than this! His book is on the best seller list. He sighs and considers taking a nap or just leaving. The cashiers of the book store were whispering words of pity to each other about his unsuccessful effort to meet his fans.

He hadn’t noticed you yet. Slowly working up the nerve to talk to him. Clutching your copy of one of his books. Do you think he’ll sign it? Gosh you hope so. You inhale deeply and approach. Standing in front of his table and barely able to swallow. There he is! One of your idols. Looking an inch away from dying of boredom. Jiraiya glances up at you, not a lot of hope in his eyes.

“The check out is to the right. I’m just... sitting here.”

“Is the book signing over?” You ask. How disappointing.

Jiraiya sits up straight as he looks at you. Now more alive and alert. A fan! You were here for him! Such a cute fan you are! All flustered and nervous to meet him. He smiles.

“No! It’s not over.” He tells you enthusiastically.

Gosh he’s so cute. He has a nice smile. You fidget with the book in your hands.

“I know you’re supposed to buy a new book with a signing, but I was hoping you would sign the one I already got?”

“Are you sure you don’t want a new one? That one looks pretty worn out.”

You stammer for your words, turning bright pink. Jiraiya only laughs at your reaction. Oh, he’s just teasing you. He holds his hand out.

“I would love to sign it.”

You smile. The anxieties about this interaction beginning to fade. You hand him the book and he opens it to the first page. You watch as he writes down a note before signing it underneath. He shuts it and slides it back towards you. You thank him and take your book back. Just as you crack it open to read the note, he stops you.

“Hey, how about a drink?” Jiraiya invites.

“A drink? But what about your autograph session?”

He laughs and gestures to the empty store.

“Ain’t no one here going to miss me! And besides,” Jiraiya hops around the table to stand next to you, “I’d much rather spend my time with a gorgeous woman.”

“You think I’m gorgeous?” You laugh nervously at his compliment.

“Of course! And you got great taste.” He points to his book before laughing.

“I would love to go out- er, get a drink with you.” You accept his offer whilst half hiding your face behind the book.

“Excellent! I know just the place!” He takes your hand and leads the way, shouting a quick goodbye to the staff.

You grin behind the book. You’re a little nervous, having a drink with your idol. Sitting next to him all night. Maybe even taste the alcohol on his lips.

The bar was a little shady. Smoky and smelly with cigarettes. But it was close knit and warm. Your knees were bumping against Jiraiya’s. You just can’t stop blushing. Sitting so close to him. He smells nice. He looks nice. And he can drink. Throwing them back without a care and wanting to have a great time. You nurse your drink. Drinking it slowly, you are a bit of a light weight. Already feeling a little tipsy from your drink. Jiraiya planted his hand against your thigh and leaned towards you. His cheeks a little red from the alcohol. He’s smiling and his lips are slightly parted. You look at them before cautiously glancing to his eyes. He notices it and smiles.

“Do you want to kiss me?” Jiraiya asks teasingly.

“A little, yeah.” You admit.

He smiles. His hand curls in to your inner thigh. His hot breath hot exhaling over your lips. His mouth a fraction away from yours.

“Good, because I want to kiss you too.”

Jiraiya moves in quickly after speaking. Pressing his lips firmly against yours. You hold your breath. Your heart pounds. He tastes like saké and something warm. Like the inviting smell and taste of mint and cinnamon. You eagerly part your teeth and his tongue invites itself in. You don’t mind. You encourage it. Leaning in closer to the edge of your stool and pushing your tongue against his. You touch his leg. Jiraiya pulls back, a breathy sigh followed right after. 

“My place or yours?” He asks quietly.

You smile.

“Mine.”

Before you could argue, Jiraiya pays the tab and puts his arm on your lower back. He guides you to the door. Once outside, he kisses your neck.

“Lead the way!”

You do. He got more antsy and handsy the farther you lead him. Already you are getting red in the face. Jiraiya was enjoying himself as he felt you up. Touching your butt and slipping his fingers under your shirt. His warm hands touching your skin. You keep smiling behind the book. Nervous, yet excited. Was this really happening? Are you really escorting your favourite author to your home? This was like the plot of how many of your dreams now? It’s almost unreal.

A quiet ‘eep’ escapes you when Jiraiya attacks your neck again. You fumble with your keys. Struggling to get the right one with such shaky hands. His pelvis pressed hard against your ass. His lips and teeth playing with your neck. Then he very boldly shoved his hand down your pants. The lock now felt almost impossible to undo! Unable to focus on it as those talented fingers rubbed and pressed against your most sensitive area. His hips eagerly rocking against you as he groans.

“You’re so beautiful! You better get that door open!” Jiraiya was getting impatient. He bites your ear before continuing. “Or I’m going to fuck you right here!”

“Is that really a threat? What if I’m into that?” Being around him made you more confident, especially if he’s this into you. 

“Oo! Adventurous, are we?”

You giggle before finally getting the lock to behave. Turning the handle and heading inside. Jiraiya follows, keeping his hands on you. He does you the favour of kicking the door closed. A second later he grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head. He kisses your bare shoulder while fiddling with the clip of your bra. It becomes loose and you help him pull it off. Jiraiya excitingly grabs your breasts. Groping them and giving them a good squeeze. His large hands covering them, supporting them, as he kneads them. It’s not a bad feeling. He gives your nipples a quick pinch.

“How perfect! They fit right in my hands!” Jiraiya laughs.

A small shiver runs up your spine. He licked the back of your neck. Hot and wet. A small bite followed. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt badly. But it provided a shot of excitement. Oh and how excited you are! Legs pressed together, missing his touch. In need of pressure. His fingers, tongue... both! _Everything!  
_

But maybe not in the hall?

“Jiraiya.” You say his name and he moans in response.

“You sound good saying my name!”

You blush. You grab his hands. “I like saying it! But can we not bang in my entryway?”

He chuckles and lays another kiss on your shoulder.

“Alright, alright! Lead the way to the bed.”

You spin around and grab his shirt.

“Only if you get undressed along the way.”

Jiraiya smirks. He follows you as you back your way into the bedroom. Helping him pull off his clothes and tending to whatever you still had on. Some nervousness began to rise. Oh god you’re gong to see him naked! You’re going to have sex with Jiraiya. A man whose work you’ve followed since his first book. Years of wondering what he was really like. And here you are, about to bed him.

You gasp, startled when you run into something. Stumbling and falling back. Landing on your bed in a compromising position. Laying back, legs spread. You blush harder. Your idol standing above you, naked and aroused by the sight. He’s beautiful. Fit, muscular body. Handsome face. Pretty long white hair. His dark eyes completely focused on you. He’s hard, with a hefty size. The idea of it being in you made your hips twitch.

“If you’re that excited just seeing me, I’m about to blow your mind!” Jiraiya teases you with that signature grin of his.

“I know you will.”

“Good! Haha!” He smiles widely. He puts his hands on your knees. “Spread those pretty legs of yours wider~ I’m gonna fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk tomorrow!”

You happily do as he asks. Breathing heavily as he crawls between your spread open legs. His knees tuck in behind your ass. Jiraiya holds your thigh with one hand. He looks over your body with a smile. Running his free hand along your body. Starting at between yours breasts and trailing down. Going down the middle of your ribs, over your bellybutton. Onto your pelvis, before finally touching your slit. At first he presses and massages your clit, watching your reaction. His breathing quickening as you behave exactly how he likes. You shift and your breathing can’t stay controlled. You grip the blankets underneath you and moan. After swirling around in a slow pattern, Jiraiya pushes his middle finger inside of you. It’s slow as his finger pushes in and out, then moving in circles. You moved your hips. Quietly moaning as you rock against it. Then he adds his first finger. Stretching and moving apart. Ensuring you’re enjoying yourself with introducing this nice and slow.

It does feel good. Surprisingly slow, considering his excitement. Playing with you nicely. A soft warm up to the main event. It’s a real turn on. Every nerve seemed to be sensitive. The slow thrusts teasing you. His thumb massages your clit again. In the same slow circular motion of his fingers.

“Ah! Jiraiya!” You moan desperately.

“You like that? Good!” Jiraiya was as giddy as a sugar high school girl. “You’re going to have so much fun during this next part.”

Jiraiya pulled his fingers out. He pumped his eyebrows up suggestively as he licked his fingers. As if he wasn’t already doing lewd things to you! You smile and hook your feet behind Jiraiya’s back. He licked his lips. A few encouraging strokes to his stiff erection and he pushes it in.

The breath was stolen from you. Fuck! It’s pushed deep inside of you. Stretched and full. You squeeze your legs tighter. Jiraiya exhales a deep breath. Now that feels good. Tight, wet, and hot. He moans low and long, even cursing quietly. He grabs your hips tightly. He smiles, you smile. Eager for more, eh? He began to thrust. A little slow to test the waters, then picking up since it felt so damn good. Such lovely noises fill the room. Short moans and even shorter breathes. Writhing and crying out. Rocking your body to help him. You love it. He’s a big fan as well. You feel absolutely delicious around his cock. 

Jiraiya moves his hands. Running over your ass, giving it a quick squeeze, before moving on to halt on the back of your thighs. He unhooks them and manipulated them. Pushing them towards your chest.

“Hold those for me, would ya?” He asks rather cheekily.

You wrap your arms around your legs. Holding them just under the back of your knees. Jiraiya crawls forward until he’s completely over top of you. Boxed in by his hands by your head. His long hair falling down like a curtain around his face. Sweat shined on his skin. He really puts his back into it. Thrusting harder and faster. His whole lower back moving with the motion. His face above yours, blissful looking. Mouth open as he pants heavily from the effort and feelings of it all. You match his expression, unable to let his eyes go.

He moans and his eyes flutter for a moment. He collapses overtop you. You’re just too much! He licks your neck. He bit you. It’s harder than the first time. You cry out. The pain. The pleasure. His body rocking against yours desperately. This was amazing! Tension began to build. Your noises got more strained. Shaky breathes against your lover’s ear that only he could hear. You dig your fingers into your skin. The sensitive flesh behind your knees didn’t appreciate it, a small flare of pain following right after. Your toes curl and the rest of you follows.

“Jiraiya!” You cry his name desperately.

“Yes! Say my name! Just like that!” He spoke between his teeth against your ear. His breath hot against your skin and tickling your nerves.

You continue to shout his name. Edging him on. Jiraiya pushes himself up just enough to kiss you. Holding your lips hostage, his tongue playing with yours. You hold your breath. You pull your lips into a tight cringe as a throaty ‘hn’ leaves you. Breaking the kiss for only a moment before going back. Arching your back and cumming. A smile pulls its way to Jiraiya’s lips. A short quick thrust. Burying his hips and and flush against your skin as he climaxes. He’s still for several moments. So are you.

With a loud sigh, Jiraiya relaxes. Laying on top of you as heavy weight. You release your legs. They’re stiff and sore. You stretch them out and you hug him. Breathing heavily with him. He rolls off of you, laying next to you. Both you and him are spent after the activity. Sleep already wanting to pull on your eyes. But it’s also a tad cold. Above the covers and all sweaty made it that way. Especially when the giant man keeping you warm had gotten off of you. You pull on the covers with Jiraiya’s help, eventually curling up under them. You cuddle against him, his chest your pillow, and began to fall asleep. He wasn’t much better, drowsy and nodding off. His arms around you like you were a beloved teddy bear.

Best book signing ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests are open! Just leave me a message in the comments asking for said request and a general description of what you want. I’ll probably ask a few questions to get a better idea and clarification of what you want. I’m down for mostly anything aside from a few really hard or messy kinks. Must include our darling perv and reader! As this is the theme of this collection.


	2. Yes Professor!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time old classic of the college professor au  
> Warning for spanking!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all! I’d like to quickly thank you all for the comments and kudos! Made my trashy week way better! I certainly hope you stick around and continue to read my garbage, it makes me happy. And hopefully it makes you happy too! *wink *wink

Oh how you could listen to him all day! Professor Jiraiya. His deep and calming voice resonated around the lecture hall. He talked on and on about today’s lesson. Literature class was such a kick. Almost two hours of just talking about books and debating the topics. Could there be a more perfect class in the world? You don’t even pay attention to the slides that have key notes on them. While the more dedicated students took notes, you just watch him. He paced when he was excited about the subject he was teaching. His long white hair pulled up in a ponytail, swishing around with the motions. Sigh... it looks soft. His red dress shirt was tucked in and his sleeves rolled up. It seemed a little small... giving hint to the fact he was totally ripped. Black dress pants that made him look taller. He was already over six feet. He didn’t need to look taller... he didn’t need pants, as far as you cared. He was so handsome! Why he was a college teacher was a mystery. He could do anything with that mind and body! He’s already written books, why does he do more? Whatever, it kept you entertained.

“Ah... we’re out of time.” Jiraiya says as he looks back from the clock. As the students stood up and hurried to get ready, he shouted over the noise. “Hey! Don’t forget to hand in your papers! Don’t think I forgot!”

There was a series of groans. A few students bolted. Ashamed they didn’t write their paper yet. You wait. Hanging back to hand in yours last. Heat began to build in your face. Getting close to him always did that. He smiles at you and holds out his hand. You almost reach out to hold it. How great would that be? If he accepted it and his lips would brush against your knuckles. Sigh... if only. You hand in your paper. Your fingers brush against his. Your heart skips a beat. You can barely manage to glance into his eyes. Catching those intelligent dark orbs. You flush before turning on your heel and speed walking out. He’s gorgeous! Ahh!

In the morning, you check your email. Jiraiya was one of the only competent teachers that knew how to use email. He often used the student teacher email chain. Informing his classes about changes. He was pretty cool about it. Even sliding some hints about test answers every now and then. He had sent you an email. It wasn’t a generic chain. It was a private one.

“See me in my office after your last class today. We have to discuss your paper.”

Uh oh. Were you in trouble? You didn’t have Lit today. Your schedule swapped back and forth. The whole day went by slow and agonizing. You worried about it. What could you have done? You wait until last period. You don’t have a class anyways. Neither does Jiraiya. His classes don’t past fifth period. Leaving him one whole block to sit around or leave early. He usually hangs around, marking papers. Plus his office hours were pretty generous.

You knock on the door. It was slightly open. He looks up from his desk and motions you to come in. You enter quietly. Before you take a step, he speaks.

“Close the door.”

Oh god this was torture. Alone in a room with your attractive professor. You shut it. If only it had a lock. You take a seat across from Jiraiya, waiting for him to divulge the details of his cryptic message.

“So... about your paper.” He began. He shuffles through a stack of paper. He pulls out one, presumably yours. He smirks as he looks over some of the contents again. “I’m flattered but... this isn’t very appropriate.”

You frown. Confused. Tilting your head and furrowing your brow. Jiraiya looks absolutely amused. He hands it to you. You take it and read it. Only to turn red. Oh... oh no! You accidentally handed in the wrong thing. In your spare time in different classes, you write. Yeah... you accidentally handed in a fantasy story about your literature teacher. It was pretty raunchy too! Mentioning how badly you wanted to do very bad things to him. Well damn, that’s the last time you write for catharsis.

“Ah I... I...” you are at a lost for words.

“I didn’t know you were such a bad girl!” Jiraiya teases you. “Wanting to fuck your teacher.”

You slump against the chair, utterly embarrassed. He stood up. Walking around his desk. Walking behind you. Your heart skips a beat. His hands touching your shoulders. His lips next to your ear. Hot breath tickling you. A shiver runs up your spine.

“Whatever could I do? To punish such a line of thinking?” His voice makes you feel funny. It was deep and rumbly. With an edge of something that turned you on.

“I... I don’t know, professor.”

“Really?” His thumbs massage your shoulders. “Care to venture a guess? You’re one of my smartest students.”

You could barely breathe. It was hard to swallow.

“Are you going to fuck me?”

“The punishment fits the crime, don’t you think?”

A shaky exhale. Your body can’t even hold in a breath. You can’t control your legs. They’re rubbing against each other, desperate for friction. Desperately wanting those thick, rough fingers to dig in. Or his throbbing cock. Whatever comes first.

“Get up and put your hands on the desk. I want your ass out.” Jiraiya orders.

“Yes professor.” You can barely talk.

You do as your told. Planting your hands on the desk in front of you. Spreading your legs to stabilize yourself. Bent over and your butt out. The skirt you chose to wear suddenly felt small. He flips the skirt up.

“Hey! You’re so wet! I love it!”

You swallow again. Yeah... your poor underwear. You could feel the wet patch that you were soaking through. Jiraiya pulls them down to your knees. He hums. He grabs your hips. Then a hand runs over your ass. Massaging it. Just as you were getting used to it, he spanks you. You yelp, completely startled.

“As I said, you need to be punished.”

Oh god this was really happening. He lays in on you. Spanking your ass. It hurt. But in a good way. You can’t even catch your breath. They’re in quick a quick pace. His hand connecting to your skin in a stinging slap, rubbing it in a single circle, then pulling back to add another.

“Ah!.. Ah!.. Ah!” You can’t hold in your lewd noises. Making it every time in response to his hits.

Your heart pounds in your chest. Your arms shake. You had no idea you would be into this! You can’t believe this is happening! Getting spanked by your professor. It was such a turn on. And god damn you were taking it like a champ. You can’t see it, but Jiraiya is grinning from ear to ear. From the noises your making and how your body is quivering, he can’t keep this up much longer. It’s stinging his hand too, but it’s such great fun.

When your ass was good and red, it stopped. All of it seemed to throb. Even your pussy. It throbbed with a need. You’re so damn wet that it’s trailing down your thighs. He’s standing behind you, breathing heavily. Staring and admiring what he’s done.

“Fuck me... please professor! I can’t take it anymore!” You beg.

“Can you handle my dick, little girl?” Jiraiya scoffs. He pushes two fingers inside of you. Fuck that was almost enough to make you cum. Your desperate cry echoes around the office. He snickers as he curls his fingers. “Are you a virgin? Or are you a slut for all your teachers?”

“N-No sir! I only want yours!”

His fingers retreat and you whine. The stimulation was welcome. You hear his belt clink around. Fuck... he was taking his pants off. You bite your lip. Jiraiya places his left hand on your hip. His other hand was occupied for a moment. Stroking his erection a few times. Your body was so ready to receive this. When the head pushes in, another loud moan leaves you. You’re so vocal! It’s hot.

The gasp that emanates from you hurts your throat. Deep and husky. His cock buried deep inside of you. The feeling so fucking amazing. Your mouth hangs open. Drool trails down your chin. Even some tears of relief. This was absolute ecstasy. Your walls flexed around it. Getting used to the intrusion, but absolutely loving it.

“You feel amazing!” He moans. “So fucking hot and tight!”

You let out a breathy whimper. Jiraiya smirks before making his first thrust. Pulling back and lingering. Watching you beg and mewl for him to fuck you. You really are his favourite student! You took his punishment. Now it’s time for your reward! He pushes back in. He fucks you fast and hard.

Fuck! Your body rocks hard with the thrusts. It was maddening! It felt so good! Everything you ever wanted and fantasized about. Your teacher pounding you into oblivion. Your legs and arms shake. You had to slide down. Your face hitting the desk. Your chest and lungs now constricted by the hard surface under you.

You’re flipped over. Head and back hitting the desk. The new angle was amazing. Your legs struggled to hook around Jiraiya’s waist. He grabs your ass and cradles it as he bring you against his hips. Rocking you against his thrusts.

“Oh! Oh professor! Ah!” Your words were disjointed. You can’t even think straight let alone talk.

“Yes! Talk to me, babe!” He’s just as excited.

You only cry out. Gripping the desk and arching your back. He buries himself as deep inside of you. Holding you still as he forces you to take every centimetre. Your hips push against his and you go rigid. He grinds his hips, letting you experience your full high for as long a possible.

When your orgasm begins to wash over, Jiraiya continues. Going slower and gentle. Letting you recover. He leans over you. You have no choice but to stare him in the eyes. They lacked their normal composure. They were wild and aroused. His face had a sheen of sweat for the effort he was putting in. He’s panting heavily and had a fond smile on his lips.

He kisses you. A hard aggressive kiss. It took you by surprise. His pace picks back up. You wrap your arms his neck and refuse to let his lips go. Your whole body rocking with the motion again. Your moans were muffled. Your breathing hard through your nose. It’s almost suffocating.

Laying almost fully over top of you, Jiraiya is more comfortable not supporting you as heavily. His desk could support the weight. He releases your ass. One hand grabs your hair. He pulls you back. Your head hit the wood. You take in gulps of oxygen, starved of it. Jiraiya moves on to your neck. Keeping your head pinned as he kisses it. His hot wet tongue running over your skin. His other hand reaches between your thighs. Touching your neglected clit. He rubs it hard and fast. Going in the same rhythm of his thrusts.

Fuck! Well.. if the whole school hadn’t heard you yet. They did now. Jiraiya can’t even hush you. He loves it! Hearing you scream because he was giving you the best ride of your life. If he gets fired for this, it’s totally worth it! His breath hitches and his stomach knots.

You go stiff as well. Holding your breath as he cums inside of you. Your body milks it for all its worth. The sensation put you over the edge for the second time.

He pulls out and kneels on the ground in front of you. Panting hard until he recovers. He picks himself back up after a minute. You only watch him, your whole body weak from the experience. He makes himself presentable again. Even tucking his shirt back in. You sit up with a sigh. Some pain and soreness setting in. Damn... how can you get home in this condition. How you even gonna sit down? Your ass was redder than a cherry and sensitive to any surface it brushed against. You’re so woozy. Ready to curl up and pass out after expending so much energy.

“I’ll drive you home. You must be tired.”

You nod in agreement. Jiraiya helps you off the desk and pulls your underwear back on. It felt strange. You take a few stumbling steps forward. You embrace him, holding onto his shirt. He returns it. You feel a light kiss atop your head.

“What if I want to go home with you?” You ask.

Jiraiya chuckles. You’re adorable. He’s had his eyes on you since the semester started. Secretly relishing when you blush as you listened to him during class, or going stiff with embarrassment when you made eye contact. He’s never really had a student develop a crush on him. He doesn’t plan on letting you go. Even if it gets him fired.


	3. Strip Tease for Me Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re an... exotic dancer and your client is a slightly sexually frustrated pervert. What could possibly go wrong?

You sit on the small white table. It was backlit and glass. Just big enough for you to stay in place while you dance. You had just finished giving your client quite the show. On your knees with your legs tucked under you and legs spread. You smile at your client as he tucks some money in your garter. He’s handsome. Tall and broad. With a good face and is utterly fit under his loose clothing. You admired him a few times too. His dark eyes never left you. They got darker with lust the longer you danced for him.

The private room made sure you could get very naughty. He would sit back and breath deeply. His legs spread far apart and arms resting atop the booth’s cushion. You threw your bra at him and he didn’t seem keen to give it back. He was enjoying the sight of you only in your panties. To him, you’re the cutest girl in the lineup. With the body shape he likes and an outfit that left nothing to the imagination. The moment he walked into the strip club and saw you, he had to get a private dance.

“Thank you for the tip.” You say.

He smiles and pushes his hair out of his face. It’s so long and a brilliant white. It really complimented his look. Wild and free like his hair. But calm and intelligent like his eyes. With a flare of something uniquely strange and attention grabbing like the red markings down his face.

“Anything for you, honey.” He smiles. “Do I gotta go now? Or can we hang out?”

“Well I don’t know. Is it worth my time?”

He scoffs and tucks in another tip into your garter. You thank him and sit back. Arching your back and putting your arms to the side to show off your bare breasts.

“Are there cameras in here?”

You shake your head. “No sir.” You tell him as you crawl off the table. You sit on his lap and throw your hair to one side. “Why? Is there something particularly naughty you want to do?”

He looks at your chest, then back up to your eyes. “Can I touch you?”

“Can you?” You chuckle and grab his hands. How nice of him to ask! That was better than most of your clientele. You bring them to your boobs and he squeezes.

“What’s your name?... your real one.”

You hum a pleased note. His hands kneading your breasts feels quite nice. It was turning you on. He pinches your nipples and asks again. You bite your lip.

“Isn’t it polite to introduce yourself first?” You ask him coyly. You put your hands in his hair and begin to move your hips. Nice and slow so he can feel every single little movement.

“Hm, you’re a clever girl.” He chuckles as he runs his thumbs over your hardened nubs. “I’m Jiraiya.”

“That’s a nice name.” You compliment. You run a hand down his chest while your other stays deeply tangled in his hair. “It suits you.”

“Thanks. Now, what’s yours?”

“If I may? Why do you need to know?”

“Just curious. You just don’t look like a Kitty.”

You laugh. You draw circles into his skin on his chest.

“And you’d be right.” You confirm. You grip a fistful of hair at the back of his head and pull his head back. Your lips are a fraction away from his as you whisper your real name.

“I like that better. It’s a shame you can’t use it.” Jiraiya runs his hands down the sides of your torso and grabs your hips. He controls the rhythm more and he pushes you harder against his crotch. “Have you ever wanted a client?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me?”

Tingles run up your spine and excitement rushes to your core. It was very against this rules. You could be fired and blacklisted from other clubs. But... this man. Sexy and irresistibly charming.

“Yes.”

“Will you get in trouble?” Now he’s excited. Grinding himself against you as he pushes you harder against his pelvis.

“I will, yes.” You rock yourself into the rhythm he set. Not breaking eye contact the whole time.

“Is the door locked?”

“They don’t have locks.”

“So anyone could walk in?”

You nod. Your heart is quickening. You lightly scratch his chest by mistake. He feels big. Then before you know it, you’re standing on the booth and slowly pulling off your lingerie. And Jiraiya is eager to help. He grabs them after you pull them to your knees and pulls them to your feet. You step out of the leg holes and he tosses them aside. You hold onto his shoulders as you sink back down, his lips dragging along your skin as you do. He pulls his pants and underwear down just enough to pull out his cock. The head just barely meets your slit. Just enough to just poke into your entrance.

“You ready?” Jiraiya asks, his fingers digging into your flesh as he spoke.

You grip onto his clothing before sinking down. You can’t help but moan. He is big. Filling and stretching you in just the right ways. Perfect for a good fuck. You smirk and began to move. Rocking hard forward and backwards as you lift up and sinking down.

“Mmmmm... you feel good.” You said happily.

Jiraiya smiles. He really needed this. It’s been a while since he had a good time. It might be irresponsible, but does he really care? No. You’re beautiful. You make the most beautiful face when you’re enjoying yourself. Eyes partway closed, smiling with your mouth open. He doesn’t do much to help you. The way you’re moving is perfect. He runs his hands up and down your thighs.

The doorknob rattles. You pause and look at it. When it begins opens, you get up. You manage to jump and sit on the table on your knees with your legs spread ass out towards your client. With your hands in your hair and back arched so it looked like you are in the middle of a dance. The bouncers tend to make rounds since they’re aren’t cameras.

“Everything okay in here?” The bouncer asks.

Your privates are already disagreeing. Pulsating and throbbing with a need. Complaining about how you suddenly took away the thing that was making you feel so damn good. You can feel how your own fluids are running down the back of your legs. You sit back and tuck your hands between your legs to hide how excited you are. It’ll make the security suspicious.

Your partner was no better. You cast a glance behind you. Jiraiya was sitting back with his leg crossed over the other. His hand placed over his lap to strategically hide his exposed hard on. His breathing was a little hard, and his eyes won’t leave your ass. But his face was surprisingly neutral considering how badly he wants to continue.

“Perfectly fine.” You answer.

“It just seems like this is going on for a long time.”

“He paid for another dance.”

“Okay.”

The bouncer left. The door shut. Oh thank god! You sigh out your relief. Jiraiya is now standing behind you. You can feel his presence close behind you. He’s eager to continue. The tip of his cock teases your entrance again. You lean forward to give him a better angle and he grabs ahold of your thighs. You cry out when he goes balls deep in a single quick motion. You hold onto the rim of the table as he fucks you. It rocks and tilts with the motions. You bite your lip to keep you from crying out. You can’t help but touch yourself.

You grit your teeth as it became almost overwhelming. How badly you wanted to scream. The whole club might hear you, even over the music. Jiraiya was being quiet too. Restraining his grunts and moans. Having another person interrupting this would make him lose his mind. You feel too good and he wouldn’t pull out. And having an audience wouldn’t put him off. It would take a few people to pull him off at this point. It’s just too damn good.

A throaty moan loudly sounds from you. You couldn’t hold it back. He’s going faster! Jiraiya curses under his breath and leans forward. He pulls you by your hips. Pushing you away until he’s barely inside, then bringing you back whilst thrusting forward to get in as deep as possible.

“Fuck!” Came the only word you could conjure.

This is too exciting! Jiraiya bites his lower lip. He really digs into you. Pulling the plump skin of your ass apart and digging his nails into your skin. Oh god he can’t! This is just too good. From the sounds you’re making to the way your body feels. It was like a piece of heaven on earth.

He goes first. Calling you by your real name as finishes inside of you. You follow. It’s like a mini explosion washing over your body. It started at your very centre and spreading out. After a few still seconds, Jiraiya falls back against the booth. He lands in a disgraceful way on his ass and sinks down until he’s half on it. God damn.... that’d make a good story. The stripper and the lonely, but success protagonist. He came to the club for inspiration anyways. Needless to say he found it.

In the meanwhile, you had sat back up. You twist a little to look over your shoulder. Only to chuckle a little at the pleased, but messy state of your client. His back arched against the booth with his head resting on it. One leg barely bent up while the other was flat on the floor. His arms half resting on the booth like he was lounging in a hot tub. His chest moved deeply as he caught his breath.

You get off the table and began your search for your clothes. You pick up your fallen tips as you go. Bra was in one corner. Undies in the other. You gonna have to stop in the bathroom to clean up before doing the rest of your shift. When you turn your attention back to the booth, Jiraiya was just finishing up. He was decent again and looking like he didn’t just have sex. Except for maybe a bit of a glow to his face and a relaxed smile.

“You are a fantastic woman.” He compliments.

He walks towards you and surprises you with a kiss. A good kiss. Firm, but pleasant against yours. It was gone too soon as he took a step back. 

“I’ll come back.” He promises. He drags his thumb down your lips and whispers your name before retreating.

You watch him go. He stops at the door to face you one last time. He leaves with a smirk and a wink. You stay in the room for a few more moments. It kinda sucked to see him go so quickly. But you do have something to look forward to.

Jiraiya will be back for more.


	4. When He Comforts You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Had a rough week. Double posting to break up the sexy times with some comfy times, for anyone else having a rough week. So yea, no sex, just this big teddy bear comforting the reader and he’s like hella in love with you. It’s short, it’s sweet. I hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to note, this is like when he’s probably like barely in his thirties when he’s training baby boi Minato. That’s the timeline we’re going for. I ain’t a loremaster of the lands so don’t @ me I’m trying my best.

You aren’t sure why, but you don’t feel good. Anxious and upset the whole week. You didn’t want to do much. Or leave the house. Just sitting about, feeling lonely and it feels weird. You put yourself together enough to make some tea. You stand in the kitchen, sipping your tea. The front door opens. From the small kitchen of the apartment, you could see the door.

“I’m home!” Jiraiya happily announced.

Your boyfriend of three years had just come back from another mission. He looked tired and a little disheveled. His body armour sporting new scuffs and the black uniform underneath had tears. He ran into some trouble. He’s happy to be home! Away from all the stress of the less pretty parts of his job. He smiles happily at you, but it drops when he notices your mood.

“What’s wrong?”

Whenever someone asks that question, you can’t help it. You burst into tears and run to him. Jiraiya drops his bag and catches you. He’s been gone for so long! You bury your face against the cold uncomfortable material of the armour the best you could.

“Are you okay?” He asks as he holds you close. You are much shorter than him, so he has to bend his neck down to give your head a kiss. You don’t usually cry.

“I’m sorry!” You blubber. “You’re probably tired and you just risked your life.”

“That doesn’t make how you feel invalid.”

That only makes you bawl harder. You clutch at his back, crying. You just missed him so much. And being along with how you feel just brought it all forward. There’s someone here to let it all out with. You feel several kisses on top of your head. He bends down a little and grabs the back of your thighs.

“Come on,” Jiraiya encourages you in a gentle and loving voice.

You hold onto him as you wrap your legs around his waist. He carries you to the bedroom and drops you off in bed. He wipes away your tears and gives you a kiss. Your cheeks and nose are red. Your eyes are shiny and the tears still fell. You watch him take off his worn uniform. A happy sigh of relief as he took off the restricting layers. He changes into something more casual, T-shirt and sweats. He loves you, and wants to take care of you, but can’t stand to be in his uniform for a long time. It’s a little bloody and sweaty. Plus, it can’t be comfortable to cuddle with him when he’s in a hard layer of protection. He ain’t about protection, unless it’s emotional.... just kidding. He’d take a knife to the gut for you and wrap it before he tapped it if you asked. Hell, he’d do anything you asked if that made you happy. He sits beside you on the edge of the bed and kisses your heated forehead. He arranged the pillows behind you to keep you propped up. You sink into the comfortable pillow throne he made you. It was rather nice. He lays kiss on your cheek.

“I’ll be right back.” Jiraiya assures you.

Jiraiya leaves your side and gets a few things. He doesn’t really like to leave you when you’re distressed, but he can’t let you deal with the side effects. He gets you water, an ice cold cloth, and sits back down. Almost childlike, you hold the glass of water between your hands and drink it. A surprised whine and flinch leaves you when he put the cold cloth to your face. He smiles and gently touches your tender and puffy under eyes. He could be very caring. Not that he was ever mean, but you usually are the one that emotionally supports him on the rare occasions he’s upset.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You shrug. “I don’t even really know why I’m upset. I just... am.” Then you laugh quietly. “You must think I’m crazy.”

“No,” Jiraiya switches to your other eye, “you aren’t crazy.” He leans towards you and gives you a big kiss with a verbal ‘mwah’ noise. “Unless it’s about me, right?”

Finally, you smile. He’s really cute, ain’t he? He had his own way to cheer you up. Realization hits Jiraiya and he leaves again. Quickly snapping his fingers as he recalls something he forgot. He heads to the bathroom and returns with a pill. He drops it into your hand.

“You must have a headache, right?” He asks.

Yeah. You did. Crying was such an inconvenience. It makes one tired and causes more pain. Now it feels like someone was knocking on your head with a hammer. You take the mild painkiller and finish your water. Jiraiya gently pushes you further into your pillow pile. The cold cloth was pressed against your forehead now. It relieves the pressure that had built in your head.

Jiraiya shifts around. Straddling your waist. He cups your face and runs his thumbs under your eyes. Then his fingers spread along your scalp. He massages your head slowly whilst being mindful of the cloth as to not bump it off. The feeling is good. Your eyes fall closed and he surprises you with another kiss. It really was relaxing. Having your attentive partner massage and comfort you. The love and affection curing and banishing your plights. You put your arms around his neck and hold him as you make out with him.

“Thank you.” You whisper. “I love you.”

“I love you too!” He says and squishes his nose against yours in a playful display of affection.

Some people say the just... know. Jiraiya never thought he’d feel that connection. The sudden realization. Looking you over, watching your stress melt because of him. The way you smile and tell him how you feel. He’s not sure how you do it, but you’re always beautiful no matter what. Even now.... still as pretty as the day he met you. He should marry you. He’s been with you long enough and any relationship hurdles that came up you jumped them with him. It’s nice that life threw him a bone for once. In a world without you, he’d be doing what? Running around chasing skirts no doubt. It would be a less happy existence. He kisses down your neck and to your collarbone. He’ll ask later. When you aren’t distressed and when he ain’t tired. This sort of thing requires a lot of attention to be perfect. He won’t settle for less.

Eventually, Jiraiya sinks down. His head resting on your stomach. His hands stay tangled in your hair, but stop moving. His breathing got deeper. He just got back from doing god knows what out in the wilds of the world. He’s tired and dirty. But he still took the time to make you feel better. You pet his head and twirl a section of his hair around your finger. He’s asleep within minutes. His cheek pressed firmly against your belly as he snores ever so softly. Why not join him? A power nap sounds good.

You manage to scoot down without Jiraiya complaining too much. He groans and puts his arms around you to keep you from moving anymore. Of course, his head lands on your boobs and he knows it. A sleepy chuckle emanating from him as he nuzzles into them. Classic Jiraiya. You shake your head lightly at his antics and put one hand on his back while your other slides into his hair. With a secure grip on him, you comfortably fall asleep.


	5. Toad Mode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So let’s pretend for a minute that Jiraiya can go half to full Sage Mode without a pair of sassy old toads hanging out on his shoulders. Reader really wants to see this legendary mode and things get heated!

So, what does it look like? It was the one thing Jiraiya was kinda self conscious about. He’s never showed you. Although you promised him you would never mock him, he refused. Just what was this Sage Mode?

So maybe it more than a small bit of self consciousness. He thinks he looks ugly. Monstrous even. Sage Mode. He scoffs. Why are you so damn curious anyways? You, his slightly suspiciously young wife. A twelve year gap between the two of you. Neither you or him like to talk about how you met to people. But when you first met him, you called him sensei.

“I just wanna know!” You plead. You hold his hands and smile sweetly.

You’re traveling with him. You just finished another cold night sleeping outside. Cuddling with your partner for warmth. Loving every moment of being in his arms. Due to resent circumstances, he was a little on the depressed side. The Nine Tails attack took a lot out of him emotionally. It did for you as well. Your teammate and best friend, his student and practically adopted son had died defending the village. Jiraiya was torn up for weeks about it. You don’t leave his side. When he said he wanted to leave, you followed. You never want to be parted from your husband.

It was a few months later. You’re half way into the lovely geography of the Land of Tea. The fields of well maintained tea farms was peaceful. Some of the more colourful plants made for a beautiful display. You hold his hand as you stop to smell the flowers. The wild heather and chamomile made a lovely fragrance. It’s a patch beside a road sign, belonging to no one. You pick a few while your partner waits.

“Why do you want to see it so bad?” Jiraiya asks. His arms crossed as he watched you.

You stand, holding your bouquet. You tuck a sprig of heather into his hair, then run your hand down his jaw. You run your thumb along his cheek. The bit of purple in his hair looks nice. He humours you and leaves it in.

“I don’t know. You’re so sensitive about it. And I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think it is.” You search his eyes. They’re tired but soft.

“I just... don’t want you to think...” he pauses and looks away. “That I’m ugly.”

“Aw baby! I’d never think you’d be ugly!” You coo at him and rise to your toes to kiss him. He huffs. A bit of a blush on his cheeks. You kiss him again. “I’m sorry for bugging you about it. I’ll stop.” You say before stepping away.

“You aren’t bugging me.” Jiraiya pulls his lips into a tight line. He’s thinking about what to do. “... If you don’t make fun of me...”

“I’d never make fun of you.”

You look at him so sincere. That gentle and understanding smile on your face that he just can’t say no to. With a deep breath, Jiraiya puts his hands together in front of him. He closes his eyes to really concentrate. He really cares about what you think. He may have showed off Sage mode to a few ladies when he first learned it. He thought it looked cool. Only to have his self esteem tested.

“I can’t believe I thought you were cute!” They’d scoff.

“You aren’t very attractive if you can turn into that!” They would tell him.

“Ladies please!” Jiraiya would plead with them with a grin that hid how low their words hit. “I was just kidding around!”

Feels bad man. It was the same social rejection feeling he got when he was a kid. His peers mocking him with the same cold tone. Yeah, he was bullied. But whatever, he turned out alright. Kids were assholes. Their treatment of him made him learn to take people at face value, if they’re nice to him, he’s nice back. His heart would probably freeze over if you left him because of this. He’s never been this nervous to show a girl his alternate form.

You watch in fascination. Jiraiya’s face was changing. His features twitching as they morphed. His hair seemed to grow in volume. Getting harder and spikier as a form of defence. His brow is furrowed. His lips pulled back into a sneer as his teeth change. Growing into points. His nose growing wider and growing bumps. His hands and feet webbing and the tips turning into points as well. The markings under his eyes getting wide and decorated his whole eye lid before running down and finally tapering just at his jaw. Finally, he opens his eyes. The flat pupils of a toad greeting you.

It was quiet. You stare at him. Flushed and captivated. Jiraiya just... sighs. He drops his hands and looks away dishearteningly.

“I knew you would hate it.” He gives out a quiet laugh.

You frown. You grab him by the face, squishing his cheeks together, you force him down and kiss him. You make out with him. His lips relaxing and returning your affection. He put his hands on your hips. You kiss down his jaw and neck.

“You look... different.” You look up at him and push the fringe out of his face. “It’s just a little uncanny. You look like Jiraiya. But not quite there.” His skin felt different. A bit more scaly and dry. But not entirely unpleasant. “I like it.” You touch his lips and smile.

Jiraiya smiles and bites your finger lightly. It doesn’t hurt, but it could. “Really?”

“Oh yeah!” You lean towards his face again and drop your voice to a sultry whisper. You lick your lips. “I’d love to feel those teeth in between my thighs~”

He smiles widely, happily showing off those teeth. He kisses you. His tongue sticking right into your mouth. After several moments of tongue wrestling, he pulls back and bites your bottom lip. “I’d love to do that for you~!”

To your surprise, Jiraiya picks you up. He holds you by your ass, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist. He takes you away from the path and into the cover of the nearby tea farm. You are dropped onto your back and your husband is on top. In a feminine set of kisode and hakama, Jiraiya pulls your hakama off. They are of the more flowing wide leg style and are easy to take off. He uses his sharp teeth to pull your underwear off. That smirk told of trouble. He put your legs over his shoulders before diving in. He makes sure you feel his teeth against the sensitive skin between your thighs. He runs his teeth over your clit, threatening to bite it. Then attacks it with hard laps of his tongue.

It felt damn good! You cry out and grip his hair. It hurt to hold onto it for once. It prickles into your hands like needles. Running your hands through felt like steel wire. You rock your hips and cry out. So good! Jiraiya makes noises when he does this. Little moans and hums to express how tasty you are. Two of his transformed fingers slide into you. They felt wider and pushed in deeper. Thrusting in and out quickly to match the pace of his teeth and tongue.

“That feels good!” You yell to the sky.

The breath catches in your throat. Your body tenses. You cum on his hand and he moans a pleased note against your clit. Jiraiya pulls his hand away and sits up. He licks his already wet lips. He crawls up your body. Nipping and kissing your skin as he goes. Now he does kinda look like a monster of some kind. A toad human hybrid that badly wants to fuck you. Not that you mind, right?

“Does the transformation change your dick?” You inquire.

“Pah! Hahaha! See for yourself, little girl!”

You release his hair. The air hit them fully when you took it out of the white mane. It stings a little. Small paper cuts were all over your hands. It seems his hair had done more damage than you thought. Jiraiya gasps and apologizes. He gently kisses your damaged fingers and licks them.

“It’s alright. It doesn’t hurt!” You smile and run your thumb over his sharp teeth.

“I had no idea my hair was so dangerous.” Jiraiya laughs.

“It is quite dangerous! Isn’t a weapon?”

“Well yeah! But never on you!”

He kisses you to apologize again. Your poor fingers. The cuts are so shallow that only about one or two are actually bleeding. But he never wants to hurt you, even on accident. He pulls his pants off. As he undressed, you sit up. Jiraiya was on his knees. Focusing on his hard on. You sit on him. Surprising him a little by taking over. You spear yourself to the hilt and gasp his name. You rock your hips forward. Jiraiya pants and holds you by your ass. You almost put your hands back into his hair. But stop just short. Holding onto fistfuls of his lush hair was so much fun. Plus he enjoys it. Having a woman yank on his hair as he brings them pleasure was half the fun. You grip handfuls of his kisode. You kiss and bit his lips.

“It does feel different.” You purr. You lift yourself up and down, fucking yourself on his cock. “I think it’s bigger~!”

“Oh? Really?” Jiraiya scoffs. He smiles widely. “Does that mean I have to be in this form to bring you pleasure now?”

“No. I’d much rather fuck my husband as he is.” You lean forward and wrap your arms behind his neck. Your lips by his ear. “But this is very fun!” You lick the shell of his ear and nip the lobe.

Damn it! Jiraiya pushes his hips up to meet your thrust. It just hit different. Making you cry out again. His hands caress your ass. They run up your back. He yanks on the back of your clothing. Forcing you back and pulling your clothing down to expose your chest. He bites you! The sharp teeth digging into your neck. It hurt! Really hurt. And yet it seemed to only elevate your high. Jiraiya runs his hands higher. You feel his fingers dig into your scalp. He grips your hair and pulls your head back.

“Ah!” Your cry was more pained.

Now you were forced to arch your back forward. Your hips out, back curved, and chest out. Your head angled backwards to the sky. You clutch at his clothing. Jiraiya bites at your skin again. Your collarbone. Your boobs. Your nipples becoming the centre of his attention as you ride him. It felt like the angle gave you more room to breathe. Like it opened your windpipe. But it made your voice more husky and hoarse.

“Fuck! Jiraiya please!”

One of the greatest sounds in the world, in Jiraiya’s opinion. The sound of your wanton voice. Saying his name in such a sensual way. You must be close. Jiraiya rises up on his knees, forcing you to fall down. He stops torturing your scalp and holds your hips instead. He brings you to him as he thrusts. Going faster and harder. Pounding you relentlessly as it feels like it digs in all the right places. Your mouth hangs open, you can’t even form words. Your whole body goes tense.

Quietly, you call his name again. Jiraiya watches you. You’re making a point to stare at his face. Panting and red in the face yourself. So aroused. Unflinching as you take everything he gives you. A smile on your lips. The same loving smile you always give him when he does this to you. Even when he looks like this. In that moment, you have never looked so good.

You go first. Unable to hold out for him. You scream his name as a rush of pleasure blinds you. A thrust later, Jiraiya follows. The way your walls contract around him always sends him over the edge. It just feels to damn good. Squeezing and milking him for all he has.

Once the overwhelming feeling passed, Jiraiya relaxes. He rolls off of you before he squishes you with his body weight. Neither you or him say anything for a few moments. Panting almost in perfect sync with each other. You look over at him. Oh... Jiraiya is back to normal. The features you know and love back on his face. His eyes closed. His lips pulled into a smile. A light flush on his cheeks as he calms down. But he’s handsome in both forms.

The approaching sound of someone stepping through the leafs of the tea bushes alerted you. You exchange a more panicked look with your husband. You scramble to redress. Jiraiya follows your lead. Flustered as he hurried to be decent.They are getting closer! You run back to the path whilst still tying your hakama. Jiraiya bursts through right behind you, completely dressed. He grabs your hand and leads on like you were just on the path with your companion.

The farmer of the tea bushes rounds the corner and looks around, armed with a knife. He looked displeased and seemed to be expecting to find some trespassers. You are out of view by now. The only evidence was a wet patch on the ground. Or so you thought. You gasp and halt.

“I forgot my underwear!” You hiss under your breath.

Jiraiya bursts into laughter. “Too late now!”

The heat rises to your face. The idea of that stranger finding your underwear was absolutely embarrassing. Jiraiya puts his arm around you and gives your cheek a kiss.

“I’m sure you made his day!”

“Jiraiya!”

He laughs like a maniac while you pout. For the rest of the day he teases you. Jiraiya was in a much better place. Your reaction boosted his confidence and brightened his mood. Maybe he should bang you in toad mode more often!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just something fun and a little fluffy. Expect another chapter on Friday to celebrate Valentines baby!


	6. Happy Valentines Day!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A snippet of a fun first Valentines Day with ya boy!

One would think that a over dramatic romance novelist would be good at what he writes. But to be honest, Jiraiya was completely blanking. This was his first Valentines with a girlfriend. You! Super cute, adorable, really awesome you! The fuck does he do? His best, that’s what he’ll do!

You won’t be home for a few hours. A ‘work’ thing called you out. Jiraiya’s struggles began. Running to about ten different flower shops, in a hopeless struggle to find roses. Well, every other person in the village had the same idea! He sighs and relents, settling for your favourite flowers instead. All the roses were sold out. God damn it. He fights through hordes of men to the gift card section. God he hates people sometimes. Annoyed and frustrated with the other last minute crowd goers, he takes one and goes. Next was strawberries and chocolate.... fuck. How? How are they out of everything? Don’t they know most men are bachelors at heart and suck at this shit? He sighs and settles what he can. At least there’s still chocolate... and your favourite sour gummy candy. He can dip those, right?

You come home, slightly annoyed. Work just wasted like half your day! Well... ‘work’ was going to half the shops around town trying to find something for Jiraiya. You’d much rather spend it with your significant other, but he was hard to buy for sometimes. Luckily, you did find something. Hopefully, he will like it. The house smells like... burning. You sniff a few more times. Hm, gross.

“Jiraiya? Are you okay?” You call out.

“Yeah! Just in the kitchen.”

You wander to the kitchen. It’s... a mess. Melted and solidified chocolate was all over the countertops... on a cloth... burnt all over the stovetop. You recognize the candy you like chocolate dipped and set aside on a cookie tray. Only about three looked good. There was a card tucked into a red, chocolate printed envelope beside it with your name on it. A half mangled bouquet of your favourite flowers were half thrown on the counter. In the middle, was your chocolate covered boyfriend. It looked like Jiraiya fought with the entire bar of chocolate. It was all over his clothes, hands, even some on his face. He looked a little frazzled and tired. But excited to see you.

“Happy Valentines Day!” He greeted as he gestured to his hard work.

“Happy Valentines Day!” You return with a grin.

You pick up a chocolate covered gummy and chew on it as you open the card. It was a funny card, it made you giggle. The candy didn’t taste bad at all, just a little warm. The flowers you pick up and you hold them. Inspecting the partially smooshed petals.

“I uh... dropped them on the way home.” Jiraiya admitted.

“I love them. I love all of this.” You tell him happily. You give him a kiss, he tastes like chocolate.

“Aw damn it! I forgot to get champagne!” He smacks his forehead for the oversight.

“Oh.... well...” you walk back to your bag and pull out a bottle. It’s top shelf saké, and it happens to be one of Jiraiya’s favourites. With it was some ribbon tied to the neck, and a single rose tucked in between to hold it beside the bottle. “It’s not champagne, but I figure you’d like this better.”

“Aw! I love it!” Jiraiya was blushing. He took the bottle from you and gave you a kiss. “Let’s crack it open, shall we?”

You grab some cups while he breaks the seal. You tuck the rose behind his ear before handing over your cup. He fills yours before his and holds it out for a toast.

“To a great Valentines!”

You cheer his glass and repeat his words. He hooks his hand behind your back and pulls you close. Now he tastes like saké and chocolate. Not a bad combo. He just needs to have the rest of that chocolate licked off of him.

“Did you really like what I did?” Jiraiya asks sincerely curious.

“Oh yeah! I thought it was great.” You beam happily. “I’m allergic to strawberries and I don’t really like the smell of roses all that much. I was so touched you remembered!”

Well... credit where credit is due. Jiraiya grins and would like to think the universe totally looked out for him today. He even learned how to temper chocolate. He did so terribly, but hey, he managed to do it with only one burn.

“I feel outdone!” You continue with a grin. You run your hand down his chest and grip the collar of his shirt. “That’s why I made reservations to your favourite restaurant.”

“You serious?”

“Oh yeah! What’s more romantic than barbecue anyways?”

He laughs before kissing you. “Anything to see your lips around a bone, dear. What time is it for?”

“Six thirty.”

Jiraiya looks at the clock on the wall, then back to you. He raises a brow and smirks.

“That’s a little over two hours away.”

You fake a gasp of surprise. “And what shall we do for two hours?”

“Oh, I think you know!”

You chuckle as he leads you to the bedroom. You help him pull off his chocolate stained clothing. He helps you with your pristine ones. He burst into laughter at the sight of your undergarments.

“Did you really put on lingerie for me?” Jiraiya asks, wholeheartedly amused.

“Why of course! It is a holiday.” You grin as you wiggle your hips. The light fabric dancing around with the motions.

“Excellent! You really are the perfect woman.”

You chuckle before kissing him. He backs up until he hits the bed, falling down onto it and bringing you with him. You lick his neck, nibbling on his collarbone. He hums and runs his hands deep in your hair.

“Turn around.” Jiraiya requests.

“Turn around? To do what?” You ask.

“It’s Valentines Day! I want to pleasure you while you pleasure me!”

You grin and sit up. You turn around with your legs on either side of his body. He ushers you to back up until you feel his face against your sex. You squeak and Jiraiya just giggles like an idiot. He really was a perv sometimes. Inhaling deeply against you like you were a rare flower. He bites the fabric of your lacy panties. He pulls them off to your thighs and moans at the sight. You bite your lip. You palm his hard on through his underwear. You dive under his underwear and stroke his cock. You pull the fabric away and lick your lips. It’s hard and throbbing in your hand. 

Jiraiya moves in first. He holds your thighs and buries his tongue inside of you. It sent a wave of pleasure through you. You moan before going down. Licking the head while stoking the shaft. You bring your lips around it, sucking on it. He laps his tongue over your whole slit before diving back in. His hips twitch as you suck him off. You keep rolling your hips in an attempt to get more. You eagerly take in more of his length in your mouth. You bob your head and keep your tongue firm against his sensitive skin.

He sucks on your clit and presses his tongue over it. He doesn’t stay for long, waiting for your to get close before digging his tongue back inside of you. You fondle him as you try to deep throat his dick. Jiraiya was gonna lose his mind. You are very good at this. The way your lips and tongue feel was unlike any other. He eagerly focuses on his task of getting you to cum. Happy to eat you out until you do.

Both you and him don’t last much longer. You take his load in your mouth as he tastes and feels the pressure as your walls cling onto his tongue. You sit up and toss your underwear away. You straddle his waist again and grind against him.

“Give me a minute!” Jiraiya gasps. He’s tired, but eager for more.

“Of course! I’d hate to fuck you while you’re uncomfortable.” You tell him.

“Never uncomfortable, babe. I just might die if I go at it again right away.”

You giggle and continue to eagerly grind against him. He moans and rubs your hips. You do feel quite nice. The lips of your pussy spread over his shaft and completely soaking his skin. The way you grind and move with that perverted smile. Beautiful. How the sheer fabric clings to your breasts but flows to just above your thighs. It really is cute. You’re gorgeous and treat him right.

A small gasp of surprise leaves you. Jiraiya grabbed you by your hips and rolled over. You grab his shoulders. He’s over top of you. He pushes all the way inside of you. You curse and hold onto him. He does feel good. The perfect size for your to take comfortably. Filling and stretching you without ever hurting. You sigh blissfully before kissing him.

“I could do this all day.”

“Hm!” Jiraiya hums a laugh. “Same.”

You run your hands up his shoulders, up his neck, and finally into his scalp. His hair is so nice, isn’t it? Thick, but surprisingly soft given it’s wild nature. It’s so long that it falls around you like a curtain when it’s down. It’s almost envious. His pretty long white hair. All for you to grip and yank to yours and his pleasure. You grip hard onto his hair as he began to thrust.

You hold on for dear life. Calling his name in pleasure as he absolutely rocks your world. Jiraiya is just as receptive. Panting hard and uttering your name when he could. You are absolutely maddening to fuck sometimes. And it’s too good to quit. Jiraiya purrs a moan before attacking your neck in kisses. He bites the spots you’re most sensitive and grinds himself hard against you.

“Fuck! You’re going to make me cum!” You curse at him.

“Well... isn’t that the point?” Jiraiya asks with a cheeky smile.

You grin. So sassy sometimes. You push his long hair out of his face before sitting up to kiss him. You roll your hips and bite his bottom lip. Jiraiya bites back. He bites your lip and fucks you harder. Going faster and digging his fingers into your skin. You stick your tongue into his mouth. You force his head down with the iron grip you had on his hair. His breathing his hard and fast against your skin. His tongue battles with yours. It even slides past and dives down your throat. You run your tongue underneath his and egg him on with a deep moan that rumbles through your chest.

He hits it first. Breaking the kiss with a cry of pleasure as his movements come to a shaky halt. Digging his hips hard against you and filling you with his seed. You follow with a cry of your own. Calling his name one final time as you curl up a little from your muscles contracting. And after several tense moments of heavy breathing and coiled muscles, both you and him relax. He’s heavy overtop of you. And hot, yet cool from sweat.

“I love you.”

You tense with surprise. Jiraiya had never said that before. But... you like hearing him say it.

“I love you too.” You tell him sincerely.

Jiraiya smiles and places some kisses along your collarbone and the side of your neck.

“Let’s hop in the shower and do that again hm?” He asks.

“Sounds perfect!”

He laughs at the enthusiasm before pecking your lips quickly. “Happy Valentines Day!”

You smile and kiss him. Holding his cheeks and squishing them as a result. His tongue pokes out a little. Kinda like a fish. Jiraiya really was a bit of a dork sometimes. “Happy Valentines Day.” You return lovingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a good Valentines Day y’all! Single or not, it’s still a fun day. Go watch some terrible romance movies and get wine drunk! Personally, I gotta work for a full shift probably wrapping flowers the whole night lol.


	7. The Worst of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: rape/non con  
> Reader is being held prisoner by Jiraiya. And when you prove resilient, he has to try.... other methods to get you to talk.

Back and fourth. Back and fourth. Your captor walked around in a single line as he was lost in thought. You watch. It’s all you can do. Stuck in the wall of a toad’s stomach, what else is there to do? Your arms and legs sucked into the squishy, convulsing living pink material. It’s been a long day. Taking everything Jiraiya of the Leaf had given you. Although, he had quite the interesting methods. He started with sweet talking and tickling you. He even joked around. You neither laughed or entertained him. Then it turned to the usual culprits. Yelling at you. Hissing horrible insults as he hits you. It took Jiraiya like, an hour to work up the nerve to pull a knife on you. Clearly, he wasn’t used to having such a resistant prisoner. There really was only one option left. It looks like he’s fighting with himself on whether or not to commit. To do his job no matter the cost. This is war! The stakes are high!

“Why do you doubt yourself?” You finally speak.

“W-What?” Jiraiya was slightly startled. Looking at you with wide eyes.

“Is it really worth debating so much? I’m the enemy.”

“We’re still people. Are you content with how this is going?”

“Does my opinion matter?”

Jiraiya makes a face. Half cringing and half distraught. How could this happen to him? Getting the order to find, capture, and get as much information from a high ranking Rain ninja. He stumbled across you and struck. But... he never wanted this. On top of this, you are pretty. But stone cold. Not that he blames you, he’s considering rape to reach his goal. He never wanted to be that man. To be that enemy. To do something so deprived made his skin crawl. Hasn’t he done enough? He already tapped beyond his comfort zone. Beating and marking your skin. Covering you in wounds, some of which will scar. He couldn’t even work up the nerve to cut your bra and underwear off. It’s only hot when his partner is willing.

“I’m a woman who is a shinobi.” You spoke again, looking Jiraiya dead in the eye. “I was practically raised with the knowledge that this would happen to me eventually.”

“It...” Jiraiya pauses and takes in a deep breath. His expression hardens and his voice turns into an even threat. “It doesn’t have to if you just talk.”

“I’m not going to.”

“You really are stubborn. Is getting horribly assaulted worth it?”

“You’re asking me to betray my village.” You drop your gaze to the floor. “What would you do, if you were me?”

“...” Jiraiya slowly approaches. His hands press against the wall on either side of you. He looks you over. “I’d probably be doing the same thing you are. Resisting until the bitter end.”

“Then we understand each other.”

He was quiet. Staring at you. He puts his hand on your stomach. A small step forward and his body was almost touching yours. “I guess we do.”

Do to how you were restrained, your legs were apart. More shallow and quick breathing betrayed Jiraiya’s excitement. He keeps it slow. So you could feel every second of his fingers sliding down. They slide along the waistline of your panties.

“Last chance.” He warns, his lips against your ear.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

Jiraiya tuts his tongue against his teeth. Damn it. This can’t be a bluff anymore. He slides his fingers under the fabric. Feeling over the skin underneath. You gasp when the tip of his finger just barely touches your clit. He opens his mouth to tease you. To say the playful and sensual banter he usually gives his partners. To coo mockingly and ask if their sensitive. Then chuckle and lick his lips when they say yes. But he can’t really do that. Not with you. A woman he’s assaulting. He shuts his mouth and watches what he’s doing.

Next came the unnatural sensation of touching a woman that wasn’t aroused. There’s resistance against his fingers rather than that iconic slickness that told of a woman’s true desire. It doesn’t feel good... but Jiraiya is determined to change that. He slowly plays with your clit. Poking and rubbing it. Panting in your ear as he moves his hips with the motion. His finger barely pokes inside of you before returning. It was like he was checking if you were wet and imagining what it was like to do more. Your thighs twitch with the desire to close. They can’t from the slimy pin they’re in.

Much to Jiraiya’s delight and relief, you are getting slick on his fingers. He pulls from your entrance and lays it over your clit. You do begin to enjoy it. You jerk and fight against the restraints. Those fingers playing with you. Why was he bothering with this? Turning you on for what? He pushes a finger inside of you to the middle joint. It runs in a circle before pulling back out. There’s a second of peace. Then two fingers slip in. He holds them there.

Licks and nips are put on your body. The side of your neck, collarbone, even down your shoulder. Jiraiya pauses at your shoulder and starts again on the other side. His other hand slips under your bra and squeezes a tit. Flicking your nipple as he kneads your boob in a circle.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Jiraiya’s teeth grazes the skin on your cheek. He scissors his fingers and grinds his palm against your clit. Now it felt more right to speak.

“Shut up!” You grit your teeth.

He exhales a small laugh. Oh yes, there’s a plan. It’s going to be fucked up. Everything about this was pretty messed up. Sex is a powerful tool in the right arsenal. Your breathing gets quicker. You push your hips out against it. Going stiff as you bit your lip. No way was this bastard going to hear you moan. It stops.

It... stopped? Confusion and frustration smacks your aroused body. Jiraiya pulled his hand away. He took a few steps back. He’s admiring you. His eyes looking you up and down as he licks his fingers. Hm... not bad. When he pulls his hand back, a thin thread of translucent clear liquid stays attached to his tongue and finger. It breaks off and lands on his lip. He licks it quickly.

“Talk to me, you absolutely entrancing woman.” Jiraiya compliments. Laying it on thick as he smiles at you. “I’ll let you cum if you do!”

Ah. So this was the plan. To deny you until you squeal. The smile on his face turns into a vile smirk as you piece it together. It is incredibly annoying. Your body wants it. Is your will strong enough to endure this man? Jiraiya pulls out a knife. Twirling it in his right hand before using his left hand to pull on your underwear. Hooking a finger around the now wet crotch of the fabric. The cold steel of the knife slides along your skin. What was he going to do now? If he cuts anything down there, it’ll be a horribly bad time. The blade slices the fabric on your hip. It does the same on the other side. Jiraiya pulls them off and the fall to the floor. He looks at the now newly exposed region.

“Not bad! Pretty cute, if I do say so myself.” Your host compliments you again. The tip of the knife doesn’t touch your skin, but it traces the line of your belly. Going upwards to your chest. His voice drops to a deadly whisper. “I’m going to fuck you crazy, woman. You won’t cum until I let you. Heh... unless you tell me all I want to know.”

Anger follows his statement. You sneer at him. You stick your chest out and the tip of the blade sticks into you ever so slightly. Daring him on his words. “What you say doesn’t shake me. Go ahead. Wouldn’t be the first time a man disappoints me.”

“Oh ho! Funny.” Jiraiya digs the knife against the skin between your breasts. He drags it down, causing a small cut. He slices through the front of your bra. It falls apart and your boobs fall free. The straps slide down your arms and the cups swing uselessly under your arms. Jiraiya ruins your bra further by cutting the straps and he pulled that off too. Now you are completely naked. A small trail of blood was running down the centre of your body.

Jiraiya invades your bubble again. Holding your thighs. He crouched down and stuck his tongue out. He catches the blood drop with his tongue and follows the trail it left behind. Licking up your body. His warm tongue wet and leaving a different trail of its own. The air was cold around it. He laps at the wound on your chest.

“Why are you bothering with this?” You ask quietly.

His fingers press back inside of you. It reminded you how he denied you earlier. You cling onto the feeling desperately. He kisses your jaw and ear. The faint scent of blood on his lips. He continues to finger you as he whispers.

“You’re my helpless prisoner. I can do whatever I want to you.”

When you were right on the edge again, one or two pumps of his hand doing you over, Jiraiya steps away again. To express exactly how you felt, you curse. Spitting out the word as you fidget. Not that you really could. Your own fluids run down your thighs. Desperately wet and excited before your enemy. He stays closer to you this time. Keeping a hand on your thigh as he licks his fingers. Watching it as his tongue runs in between his digits. Why can’t that be you? His tongue between your legs. Licking and running over your every curve. Paying special attention to your clit as he moans about it. Gushing on his face and down his throat.

“Are you thinking about me?” Jiraiya teases you. He shoved his wet fingers into your mouth. As you struggle and bite down on them, he snorts. “Are you ready for the main event?”

“Fuck you!” Came your muffled response.

“That’s the plan, baby girl!”

He pulls back his fingers and grabs your face. Holding you in a pinch that perks your lips. He gives a quick kiss to your lips. He pulls off his pants and underwear and kicks them aside. He’s hard and ready to go. Jiraiya grins at you, a little flushed now. Holding onto your thigh he prefers while stroking himself off.

“If you won’t talk, maybe I can make you beg. What do you think? Am I a good size for you?”

“Shut up!” You hiss at him.

The very tip presses in. Just barely enough so you get a taste of the feeling. It’s enough to get your teased and eager body incredibly excited. Aw man, fuck this guy. He’s a bit of an asshole. You rock your hips and sneer at him. He better do it, or someone is losing their head. Or perhaps both of them.

“Do you want me?” Jiraiya lowered his voice to a whisper.

“What’s the point of asking? You still hoping for consent?” You mock him while matching his quiet tone. “Do you think you’re that desirable?”

“I’d like to think so.”

You roll your eyes. “Then prove it, lover boy.”

Jiraiya holds onto your thighs. His fingernails dig into your skin and he refuses to let your eyes go. Here we go... There’s no going back now. He pushes you down. Every inch that pushed inside drove you more and more crazy. It’s buried so deep. Your hips twitch. The need for him to move, the desperate need to be touched. It was strong. You can’t fight the hold on your limbs, but you would like to. To wrap your arms and legs around him and rock your body. To fuck him until you orgasm over and over.

Oh... fuck yeah. Jiraiya moans, unashamed of how good this feels. You feel amazing! Hot, tight, and took every inch so well. It’s messed up how he got here. It’s a crying shame you had to be so stubborn, but at the same time he’s glad. This is definitely the best interrogation he’s ever done. He forces your hips to move. Starting slow as he pushes them down then lifted them back up. You cry out. It felt good and that’s what’s annoying about it.

He takes a step closer. His lips press against your neck. His breath hot on your skin. A few bites are placed on your neck. They aren’t hard enough to hurt. They tingle and linger on your nerves. Your head falls back against the wall, allowing Jiraiya to access more. He chances letting go of your hip to touch more of you. Running up your side. Touching your soft skin. Exploring of his own volition. It was gentle. Non threatening. Almost sensual. It was curiously feeling your curves as his tongue licks over the bites on your neck.

You become stiff. Gasping as you felt the familiar build up climbing again. Jiraiya stopped again. That bastard! Should you expect any different? He grips you hard against his pelvis. It was frustrating for him too. All of his nerves were telling him to keep going. He’s panting hard and it was a mistake to keep his shirt on. It’s almost unbearably hot. But this is no time to think with his dick. Instead he kisses along your jaw to your ear. His breath tickles and sends shivers up your spine.

“So... about that leader of yours? Or that rising threat at our borders?” Jiraiya asks again. He massages your ass and thighs. His hips grind slowly against yours. “Got anything to say about it?”

The little movements were teasing you. The little bit of continuing stimulation made your body cling to it and want more. But it’s not enough to actually go over the edge. It would just take a few words. As if you encourage that thought, he pulls out a little and pushes back in. It sent a wave of eager attention to your pussy. Clinging onto that feeling like a hungry predator clutching desperately at it’s wriggling prey. It wants the kill. Being teased for a third time was frustrating. Like winning a game until the very last second.

“T-They plan to...” you trail off and bite your lip. No... don’t do it.

“Oh? Do continue~!” Jiraiya insists happily. He rocks your hips slowly. Going to a very relaxed pace as he moans for you to go on.

Your nerves feel like they’re in a frenzy. They want it faster and harder. The little bit of stimulation keeps your body tight and teetering on the edge.

“Expanding the land by taking yours.” You vaguely say.

“Oh come on! You can say more than that!” Jiraiya stops completely again. He stood up straight to look you over.

“A... a week from now... they’ll- Ah!” You gasp in a breath when he touches your clit again. Playing with it as he awaits you to continue. It’s like a reward for speaking. “They’ll invade! They want to take up to the first post!”

“And how do I know you’re telling the truth?”

You look at him. You wrack your brain for an answer. But there’s only one thing on your mind. You shoot forward as best you can. Arching your back and crying out. Your mouth so close to his. Despite the stare you are in, you pull your lips back into a sneer as you yell the next words.

“Because you are driving me crazy! I want you to let me cum! I want to know what it feels like to have you fill me with your seed you filthy Leaf scum!” You vent out your frustrations.

“...” Jiraiya stares at you almost shocked. He blinks a few times as his brows rise up. That was aggressive. And pretty hot. He enjoyed those words. A smile pulls at his lips and he even laughs. “Very well! I think telling me that much rewards you at least one orgasm!”

He gives you exactly what you wanted. Fucking you hard and fast. You arch your back and scream. You move with him. Your tense, all your muscles tensing. You don’t last much longer. The rush was almost blinding. The explosion of positive stimulation runs throughout your body. Your legs are shaking from the intensity of it. And your body was only eager for more.

“That was pretty hot! Your oh face is cute!” Jiraiya teases you. It was pretty nice. Feeling all of your cum meet his skin was amazing. It smelt good too. It smelt like victory. He was winning the game and had you around his finger. You moan when he began to thrust again. “Tell me more and I’ll let you cum over,” he bites his teeth by your lips, “and over. I’ll finish inside of you and we can put this behind us.”

“Bastard! Don’t get so cocky!” You snarl.

“And why are you so adorable? You really are enjoying it, aren’t you?”

You open your mouth to retaliate, but a strangled moan came out instead. His cock hit something that sent a thrill of pleasure. Jiraiya notices and digs into that spot. It loosens your lips. A tingle of shame occasionally crawls it’s way on your back as you speak. The more you talk, the harder he fucks you. He’s encouraging you by moaning little words. Like it was the greatest dirty talk he’s ever heard. Already overwhelmed, you cum again. This time he doesn’t give you a break. He just goes harder.

Jiraiya is absolutely entranced by you. Every word you say is burned in his brain. From the information to the way you beg for more. Every time you get close, he holds onto your hips until he’s drawing blood. He wants to bruise every inch between your legs and you won’t be able to walk for a week. He wants that. To see his cum run down from your entrance and down your legs. He wants all of you covered. To make you his.

It’s so much! It seems like it’s all your brain is thinking about. You aren’t even sure how many times it’s happened. Your whole core was tense and ready for more. Jiraiya’s breath hitches and his moan catches in his throat. He brings you down to meet the full length of his cock at a more uneven pace. He stiffens and he lurches forward until his head rests against your chest. He breathes through his clenched teeth as he cums inside of you. All while the feeling brings you over the edge yet again.

It grows silent in the toad’s stomach. You don’t relax until he does. Jiraiya’s hands slide down your thighs as he falls to his knees. He’s panting deeply, trying hard to catch his breath. He’s eye level to your crotch and it is indeed dripping with his semen. There’s small smears of blood from where his fingers dragged along your skin. Bruises were already developing along your thighs and hips.

It... wasn’t so hot now that he’s not aroused. He just hurt somebody in an unspeakable way. He dares to look at your face to see you flushed and some tears running down your face. Regret sets in. It really wasn’t worth it. Hurting someone in this way was... awful. His legs felt weak, but Jiraiya fights it. He stands up by using the wall in front of him for support. You turn your head away when his face is next to yours.

“I’m sorry.” He says breathlessly.

He snaps his fingers and you are slowly ejected from the inside of the toad’s stomach wall. You haven’t the strength to even catch yourself. You fall flat on your face. It’s strange to have all your limbs free, not like you can move them much anyways. Stiffness and soreness had settled into your body. Every muscle felt heavy and useless. The energy you expended was too much. There’s the rustling of clothing as your captor walks around to gather what he threw around.

Once he was dressed, Jiraiya spoke again. Not to you, but to the toad.

“Go to the border. That’s where we’ll drop her off.” He said. His voice broke near the end and he turned away from you. He can’t face you. Or face what he’s done. It’s horrible. He’s horrible.

It’s deathly silent in the hot stomach of the toad. It sways slightly with the movements. You don’t say anything. Jiraiya doesn’t say anything. You watch him as he faces the opposite wall and stares at it. He’s completely ridged. If you could move, it would be easy to take him out. You would.

What an odd man. He was so confident when he was fucking you. But now it looks like he’s full of remorse. He hasn’t the balls to look you in the eyes again. He looks over the wounds he caused as he picked you up. His teeth gritting and he swallows back the lump in his throat. It’s not worth it. He just feels like a monster.

The toad spits you and it’s master out. The cold air and rain hit your body. Jiraiya sets you on the ground. He lingers. Just as he worked up the courage to speak, the sound of knifes cutting the air caught his attention. He jumped back to dodge them before retreating back to the trees he calls home.

Your colleagues surrounded you and were mortified. They screamed at the trees about how they would never forgive the Hidden Leaf. They took care of you and carried you away. As you are taken away, you look back to the border. You swear you see a figure that’s crouched amongst the branches. Watching you.

Perhaps you’ll meet him again. What you’ll do to him is still up in the air. All you are sure of is that you want some kind of revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? I figured I ought to commit to the tags I warned about. And would you be interested in seeing how our dear reader got her revenge? And I figured Jiraiya would feel regretful for doing something like this... unless he was legitimately crazy or a yandere. *cough cough* coming soon *cough cough*


	8. A Bad Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this a sibling chapter to the other comfy one I wrote. But this time reader takes care of a sad Jiraiya. Just supposed to be a comfy, no smut. Because while emotionally sound, sometimes even the strongest of people have a bad day... with a tad bit of survivors guilt whoops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, a quick thanks for all the kudos! It really makes me happy and it’s the first thing I check in the morning lmao! Enjoy this sad boi post.

It’s been a few hours now. You had gotten up and went about the normal morning routine. Jiraiya stayed in bed. Not sleeping either. He just rolled over and curled up. The covers hiding most of his face as he pretended to go back to bed. He didn’t want to get up. You made breakfast and he still didn’t come out. Okay... something was wrong. You set a coffee made up how he likes on the nightstand beside him. He barely breathed a word of thanks before falling silent.

You gently tug the blanket away from Jiraiya’s face and offer him a worried, but loving smile. You play with his hair and pull it away from his face. He’s upset about something. You just don’t know what. His eyes stare ahead, a little vacant and lost. Like he was lost in thought. Sad thoughts, from the look of it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask.

He shakes his head. He sits up with a reluctant sigh. You put the coffee in his hands. He looks at it and tilts it around. The coffee just barely touching the rim. He gets like this sometimes. Usually when it was the anniversary of something. Whose death was it this time? He rarely talks about these things. It’s healthy to mourn, but unhealthy to dwell on it by himself. To keep it all in like that. He could benefit from a good cry.

“You don’t have to hide how you feel. Not around me.” You use similar words he had spoken to you once before.

Jiraiya grips the mug tighter. Has anyone ever told him that? Emotions are hard. Hard to feel and even harder to express. Especially in a world where he was raised to hold it all in. Boys don’t cry. Neither do men. They simply hide how it hurts. Or else be considered fragile and weak. He doesn’t glance up at you. Just stares at his coffee harshly. His lips drawn in a tight line. You kiss his forehead and keep your face near his. You touch his face, holding it and stroking along his cheek with your thumb. You kiss his lips. To which he barely returns.

“I just want to help, Jiraiya.” You speak quietly.

A shaky breath leaves him. Jiraiya looks up at you. He leans forward and presses his face against your shoulder. His breathing quickens and one of his hands grabs the sleeve of your sweater. It’s not quite crying. But he’s working up the nerve to. To bare that kind of weakness to someone he loves. It’s just... hard. You put a hand on his back. You rest your head against his. After several long seconds of hard breathing, you feel it. Something warm and wet falling on your shoulder. A drop that saturated a spot on your clothing.

“I’m sorry.” Jiraiya was so quiet.

You gently rock him back and forth. The motion was comforting. You run your hand through his hair.

“Don’t apologize for how you feel.” You press a kiss to his head. “Just let it out.”

Jiraiya is a quiet crier. Holding onto you as the most noises he makes are sniffles. His teeth gritted and tense all the way to his throat to shun any sobs. His warm tears falling into your shoulder. Do you really mind? No... you asked for it after all. It’s nice to be there for him. Something warm and wet spills on your thigh. Jiraiya had dropped the coffee. It’s contents spilled on the bed and the cup landed beside his thigh. He uses his now free hand to hold you tighter. He wants to get a grip on himself, but can’t. Crying in his girlfriend’s arms wasn’t something he ever planned on doing.

“It’s my fault!... It’s all my fault.” Jiraiya’s shaky weak voice whispered against your neck.

Now it started to hurt. Hearing Jiraiya so distressed. It pulled at your heart. You don’t want to see him like this. Whatever guilt he’s holding he doesn’t deserve. You blink back your own tears. Seeing you upset will only spiral him. He hated seeing you upset. Right now, you had to be his rock. The gentle and warm support that empathizes greatly, but doesn’t fall apart with him. You sit back and push him away slightly, just enough to look him in the face.

“Come on, let’s move to the couch.” You speak lovingly. Sitting in coffee wasn’t comfortable.

Now your heart really does break. Seeing his teary face. Jiraiya viciously sniffles to suck back the runny nose. His cheeks and nose red. Eyes refusing to look at you as another tear runs down his cheek. He’s too embarrassed to look you in the eye while he’s in such a state. You ‘aw’ quietly and wipe away his tears. How many times has he done that for you? Held you, kissed you, wiping your tears away as he talked you through it. He has just as much a right to do this. You lead him out of the bedroom and onto the couch in the living room.

You kiss his cheek. He’s very warm. Flushed and heated from crying. You take care of him. Getting him to blow his nose. Gently persuading him to down a glass of water. Handing him a painkiller to go with it. Crying brings on the worst headaches. You push him to lay on his back. Jiraiya willingly falls, sighing as his head hits the arm rest. You wet a face cloth with cold water and place it over his forehead and eyes.

“It’ll release some of the pressure. You’re going to get a nasty headache regardless, but it’ll help.” You explain.

“Thanks...” Its quiet for a moment. “You want to know, don’t you?”

For some reason, you felt guilty. Jiraiya had his fair share of secrets. It would be foolish to think he was completely open with you. His past was sorta a mystery. All you know was he fought in the war. But it felt like you were prying into something you shouldn’t be.

“You don’t have to. I understand if you don’t want to talk about it.” You assure with a smile.

“....” Jiraiya slowly pulls the cloth down his face. He balls it in his fist against his chest and looks at you. There’s still pain and sadness in his eyes. His head is throbbing and it hurt to talk, but he wants to. “I had... students once. Before Minato. Before you. During the war I trained them for three years. But... they...”

“How old were they?” You wanted to know. Kids? Adults? Just who were these students?

“Thirteen... fourteen... poor things didn’t even know their birthdays.” He sighs. “Today... was the date I got a message, over six years ago, informing me of their deaths. I just... feel responsible.”

Jiraiya stares at the ceiling. He can still smell and feel the rain of that day. The despair and pain of learning about their demise. They grew up so rough, why did they have to die so young? You keep stroking his hair and face. You take the cloth from him. You flip it around before covering half his face again.

“I can’t imagine how that feels.” You say quietly. You rub his temples, hoping to rid him of some of the pain. “But... you didn’t kill them. It’s not your fault.” You run your thumbs over his brows above the cloth. “You did what you could.”

He doesn’t say anything. You watch his throat bob with a swallow. You lay against Jiraiya’s chest, pressing your cheek against it. You continue to give him a slow facial massage. His heartbeat is calming down to a normal beat. His breathing got deeper.... and deeper. He’s falling asleep.

“Thank you.” Jiraiya finally said. His voice was quiet and tired. He’s not used to crying, it wore him out.

You sit up just so you can kiss him. Then rest back on his chest. Jiraiya wraps his arms around you. He feels better. Finally sharing this with someone made the pain less harmful. Having you, taking care of him and comforting him... it felt good. A midday nap seemed like the perfect way to wrap this up. He pulls you up closer to his face. He prefers your face close to his when you sleep on top of him. Nuzzling his face against the top of your head. His nose and lips against your hair as he breathes in the scent of it. It’s familiar and comforting. He likes it because it’s a constant reminder that you’re right there. It’s something he always registers in his sleep. You’re happy to stay where you are. You continue to play with his hair and rubbing the tips of your fingers against his scalp. Quiet snoring informs you that he had fallen asleep. But his grip doesn’t loosen. His arms around your back and legs wrapped around yours.

This man... you love him deeply. It’s nice to know Jiraiya trusts you enough to lower some of his walls. To let you in and allow you to explore. He’s never cried in front of you before. He’s probably never cried in front of anyone before! He was always confident and strong. He never showed weaknesses because they made room for the exploitation of them. But behind that ‘screw you I’m cool’ exterior, was someone who really was sweet. Sweet and perhaps more sensitive and compassionate then they want to admit. Someone with a good heart.

You remove the cloth from his face before he accidentally suffocates. Despite being blinded by the lock he has on your head, you gently dab off his cheeks without much trouble. You toss it aside once you are sure his face is tear free. You wrap your arms around his neck and settle in. You close your eyes and completely relax. Jiraiya is very warm and quite comfortable. Content to have a lazy day, you drift to sleep.


	9. The Incubus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, you wanna summon a demon eh? It doesn’t exactly go as planned.   
> A small warning for a wee bit of rough stuff like biting.

One final symbol and the circle was complete. You set the chalk down. Your summoning circle was complete. Honestly, you still are a little in awe of what you are doing. And what you’re about to do. You pick up the small kitchen knife you had brought into your room. You cut open your hand. You plant you hand against the floor, in the middle of the summoning circle.

....

...

Nothing happened. Fuck.

You sigh and pull your hand back. Your bloody hand print imprinted in the wood of your bedroom floor. That’ll be a bitch to get out. Always prepared, you grab the cloth you had brought as well. You hold it against your cut. All this effort for nothing. Drawing a circle, learning Latin, cutting your hand. All to summon a demon you thought would change your life. You want things that feels like you can’t obtain by yourself. You’ve tried! Looks like that wasn’t happening. All you’ve done is waste your time and mutilate yourself. You get up and head for the door. Better clean this up before it bleeds everywhere.

“You aren’t leaving, are you?” Said a deep and flirtatious voice from behind you.

You whip around, eyes wide. There was a man in your room. Not quite a man, now that you can take him in. He was sitting on his knees in the middle of the circle. His skin colour was pale with a noticeable red tint to it. He had long white hair that hung wild and free. With fringe that framed his face. A pretty face at that. Complete with a strong square jaw, pointed nose, and soft looking lips that weren’t too big, but not too thin either. The points of his unnaturally pointed ears just poked through his thick hair. He had horns. Two black horns that stuck out of his head on the high points of his forehead parallel to the arch of his eyebrows. His nails were long and pointed, as well with his canine teeth. Dark red eyes with slivered pupils that stared at you. Red markings ran under his eyes and down his cheeks like war painted tear tracks. His clothes were old fashioned. A sage green kosode that was tied lazily. The folds of it tied low on his waist to have it open to show off his chest. Damn he was fit. His hakama the same colour and look loosely fitted. Enough where one pull would have them drop to the ground. His thin black arrow pointed tail swished back and fourth behind him as he awaited your answer.

“Ah... ah er.” You are at a loss for words. Only one question seems to come to mind. “Who? Who are you?”

A sultry chuckle emanates from your demonic house guest. He sits back while still on his knees. Showing off his sculpted body and letting you admire it. The left hand fold slid off his shoulder and exposed more of his bare skin. He rolls his head back to expose his neck and throat. He snaps it back forward and looks at you with a bemused smile.

“Call me Jiraiya, baby!” He introduced himself in that same tone of voice that sends shivers down your spine. “I’d ask why you would have summoned me, but it’s easy to smell how into me you are.”

You stand stiffly. Utterly embarrassed and flushed, you aren’t sure what to do. Other than to just stare in awe at the demon you summoned. Jiraiya beckons you towards him, raising his hand to curl and uncurl his finger a slow pattern. Your body moves beyond your control, wanting to get closer to him. You sit on your knees in front of him. Leaning close to his face. Your whole body feels hot and your heart is pounding so hard he can probably hear it. You nervously swallow back some saliva that had gathered in your throat.

His face gets closer to yours. His breath hot on your face. His lips part slowly and are a fraction from kissing yours. His hand touches yours. He pulls it up and inspects. You flinch when he puts pressure on your wound.

“Such a shallow wound! Were you too afraid to really commit?” Jiraiya teases you. He licks the cut quickly before continuing. “No one really wanted to come up for so little of a sacrifice, but I saw how disappointed you were. Such a pretty face shouldn’t be so sad!”

“What kind of demon are you? What do you want from me?”

A smirk grows on the demon’s face. He finishes sucking some of the blood seeping through your cut. It felt nice. Warm on your skin and very wet. He licks his lips before speaking.

“I believe you humans call my type an ‘Incubus’. And I’m here to have some fun.”

Oh shit. You are in for some deep shit. Jiraiya leans forward, forcing you back. You lose balance and land on your back. His hands land on either side of your head and keeps you boxed in underneath him. Your legs on either side of his waist to make room for him. You can’t close them and you are acutely aware of that fact. His expression staying in that smirk as he looks down at you.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart~! I’ll treat you good.” Jiraiya leans in until his mouth is by your ear. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

Your eyes go wide and all you can do is stare into his. He kisses you. His lips are warm and soft. Pressing against yours firmly. The faint taste of blood on his lips. His tongue runs over them before pressing against your teeth. You open your mouth and his tongue darts in. Running over your tongue and teeth. You cautiously play back. Pushing your tongue against his. Jiraiya likes it. Pushing deeper while you struggle. His hands touch you. Playing with your body. Squeezing your breasts, clutching at your hips.

Jiraiya pulls back to break off the kiss. A thin thread of saliva connecting your bottom lip to his. It breaks and it lands on your cheek. He licks his lips again before smiling. You find yourself obeying his will. Arching your back and holding your arms up to let him take your shirt off. Lifting your hips to let him pull your pants off. He smirks as he looks at your soaked panties.

“My my! So aroused! I love women like you!” He practically purrs with satisfaction.

His fingers play you. Touching you through your panties and relishing the noises you make. He pushes the fabric aside and pushes two fingers inside of you. You gasp from the feeling. How they stretch your insides in the best way. You shift your hips and bite your lip. He thrusts his fingers quickly inside of you. It drove you crazy! Moaning and moving your hips. Jiraiya is absolutely giddy with enjoyment. His eyes lit up with joy. His tail swishing back and forth quickly. His thumb plays with your clit. Attacking it in tight circles. It’s so much! So much so soon! Your mouth hangs open and body goes tense. Back arching off the floor and staying there. You gasp deeply and hold your breath. That wave of ecstasy rolls over your body as you orgasm. He pulls out once you relax.

You slump against the floor. Panting and sweaty. Your underwear feeling clammy and uncomfortable. You’re tired, but desperate for more. The incubus providing you with this pleasure only giggles at your reaction. You look at him curiously. This Jiraiya fellow was quite pleased with himself. A perverted grin on his face as he licks his fingers and looks down at you.

“I love it when my women are easy to make cum~!” Jiraiya continues to speak. He sucks on his finger a little bit more before speaking again. Eyeing you up more like you’re a piece of meat to a hungry wolf. “If you keep doing that while I fuck you, I’ll be the strongest demon back in hell!”

Jiraiya uses his sharp nail to cut open your bra. Cutting the little spot of fabric holding the cups together between your breasts. He flicks both sides away to expose your boobs. He rakes off your panties. Slicing them away at the hips and pulling them away. Now you are naked in front of an incubus. A demon that gains power through sex. And he’s about to fuck you. And it might kill you. He takes his clothes off. Pulling them off of his body in a slow seductive manner. Then sits back between your legs. Erect and ready to go. Damn man... this demon is really gonna stuff you. Yanking you by the back of your calves to pull you closer.

“Beg for it, baby! Say you want my cock.” Damn this demon was kinda a pervert, even for an incubus.

You whimper and push your hips out. Refusing to let his eyes go as you make the nose sensual noises. He doesn’t give in. He simply tilts his head at your cute noises. He adjusts you. Putting your legs over his shoulders and holding your hips. He sits up on his knees and stays still again. The head of his erection sitting just barely inside of you. Teasing you. You pout and push your hips up and down. Another inch, but nothing more. Cheeky bastard.

“Give it to me, demon! I don’t care what happens! Just fuck me.” You yell at him.

His smile turn full Cheshire Cat. He even laughs a little as his nails dig into your skin. “Hell yeah! Don’t mind if I do!”

It’s like an explosion. The feeling almost blinding. Tears blur your vision. Your walls cling onto the incubus’ cock. It’s so deep inside of you! Stretching you in all the right ways. Filling you up in a way you never knew you needed. You moan and your eyes flutter. A chuckle and looming presence beside your face pulls you back into reality.

“Does that feel good? It must have if you came just from that~!” Jiraiya coos happily. The life in his eyes vibrant. The slivers that were his pupils wide and caught your slightest movement.

He’s nice enough to wait until you’re calmer. He holds onto your hips tighter. Anchoring you to the spot. Thrusting into you. Going slow for the first few times before picking up speed quickly. Pounding you in a swift rhythm. The noises that leave you barely sound like you. Loud and unbridled. Not caring if the neighbourhood hears.

Jiraiya is barely any quieter. Panting and moaning as he moves. He cracks open an eye, not realizing he had it closed. Watching you become so wanton and undone. All because of him. He shouldn’t be as flattered as he is. But it really is a great feeling. And you’re so beautiful. He puts in the extra effort. Flipping you onto your side. Holding one leg by your thigh and the other bent around his knees. He resumes the pace he set, since you love it so much! He loves it too. Your hands dig into the wood desperately. Your head falls like you can’t support it anymore.

“I-I can’t take it! It’s so much!” Your voice is weak.

Jiraiya leans back over, bending your body and slightly changing the angle he’s fucking you. His nose and lips drag along your cheek. “You’re doing amazing! I’ve never fucked anyone that’s felt this good.”

You only make another delicious sound. He fucks you harder. Moaning in your ear about how good you really are. You squeak when he lifts you up. He sits on his knees and forced you to sit on his cock. You know what he wants and move yourself accordingly. Gripping his shoulders as you fuck yourself on his cock. Jiraiya is breathing hard through his nose. Holding your ass and squeezing it. You can hardly breathe as it is. But you want it. You shoot forward and crash your lips against his. Your teeth scraping against his for a moment before meeting his tongue in the middle.

You dig your hands into Jiraiya’s hair. Pulling on it as you desperately bounce on his cock. So close to cumming again. You feel a bloom of pain when his nails dig into your flesh. Right into the tender meat of your ass. You moan comes out muffled and strange around his tongue. All of you tenses. He bites your lip. More pain and blood floods your tastebuds. You pull back in surprise.

“I’m sorry.” Jiraiya’s voice was a little raspy. Your blood stains his lips yet again.

“It’s okay.” You muster a weak smile. This is phenomenal, but exhausting.

You wrap your arms around Jiraiya’s neck and press against him fully. His head is next to yours. His panting loud in your ear. Same with yours in his. Jiraiya takes over. Moving you to his liking. Both you and him are so close anyways.

He pushes you down as hard as possible. You grind your hips into him. You lose it first. Crying his name as you cum. Jiraiya follows a heartbeat after. A thick stream of of his cum filling you. And you just seem acutely aware of it.

You go completely limp. Resting against the toasty warm body of the demon. It’s like hugging a space heater. Once the high faded, it was like you were hit by a train. Or drowning underwater. All your strength being snatched from you. It’s more than the normal exhaustion that comes after sex. That glaring fact was coming back again. Incubi gain strength through having sex with their victims. You just had sex with one. What kind of life choice was this? Was this the end then? One hell of a way to go. You’re even okay with it. Or maybe that was some demon magic or something he cast on you.

“I won’t kill you.” Jiraiya broke your thoughts like he knew what you were pondering.

He pulls out and carries you. He sets you on your bed and kisses you. You can just barely run your fingers down his cheek. You’re so tired, but you want him to stay close. To keep touching him.

“I’ve taken quite a bit of your strength. But it’ll come back.” He spoke before giving your neck a few kisses. His hand drags down your stomach. “And I’ll come back. So we can do this again.”

Your eyes start to close. You fight against it. Watching Jiraiya collect his clothes and stand back in the circle. He winks and blows you a kiss. Fire comes to life at his feet. Thick black smoke consumes his body. Then it fades. You are left alone in your room. Sweaty, exhausted, and fucked damn good. The only evidence that what happened actually happened were the light injuries to your body. As well as lewd feeling of his seed dripping out of you and the smell of smoke.


	10. The BOTW AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first major alternate universe. It’s the crew in the breath of the wild universe sort of thing. It’s an idea I’ve always thought about. Especially since ya boi looks like a sheikah. So the concept is that the sannin are the divine beast champions. Of course, the world gets boned by some sort of Ganon like calamity and Jiraiya gets the bad end of the stick by getting yeeted into the hundred year sleep and wakes up to a world that blames him for everything that happened. Huzzah! No smut just bad good times. Maybe smut sequel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for some sentence fragments. Been awake for way too long lol.

So this was the world. Was is always going to be like this? Nature taking over long abandoned villages and homes. Evil had won for the moment. Evil creatures wandered the world doing as they please. It seems the only safe havens left are the different race’s capitals. But even they are getting their fair share of monster invasions. It just wasn’t good. Everyone was restless. It just felt like something bad was going to happen. A looming threat over by the fallen castle village. Long abandoned and flooded with the most aggressive monsters. A shroud of evil growing darker and bigger with each passing day.

And what of the champions? They’re are so many rumours. All three disappeared after the attack. It is said that Champion Orochimaru had turned against his fellow teammates, he aided the blight that took over the world. Why? No one really knows his true motivations and there is no way to find out now. Legends say he fused with the darkness that rampaged the lands. They say Champion Tsunade is sealed with the monster that took over her home. That, or she died in her divine beast. Your grandmother said she was quite the princess. That she didn’t sit around and wait for the world to end. She took action with her friends. A strong and gifted woman that was kind as she was harsh. She would have made a wonderful ruler if peace prevailed. And then there’s Champion Jiraiya. He simply... disappeared. The popular theory is that he died in the battle a hundred years ago. The three strongest fighters of the land all met a tragic fate. Hope had faded from the people. It made them cold and jaded.

But a new buzz had been sweeping the different stables and among passerby travellers like yourself. A man matching the description of Jiraiya was wandering the wilds. The general description was that of an older man, tall and handsome. He bore long white hair and red markings down his face. He dresses in clothing the only tribe who would talk to him had given him. It was more natural and muted in colour rather than the brilliant white and red that made up the pallet of the tribe. With a light green for the kisode and pants. The grey shirt underneath was tightly fitted to provide a light layer of armour and the collar could be pulled up into a mask to cover the lower half of the face. Often, he wears a red cloak adorned with a hood. Most times the hood is up along with the mask to conceal his identity. He doesn’t like to be seen. The small ninja village of Sheikah seemed to be the only ones that were welcoming to him. He looks to be their kin. As they bare similar physical traits. Maybe that’s why they gave him a set of clothing to help him hide. They are known for being sneaky and looking out for their own.

You see... instead of welcoming this hero with open arms, the world scorned him. They rejected and blamed him. It probably wasn’t even the same Jiraiya. It was over a hundred years ago. If the original still lived, he would be a fragile old man by now. This was probably a son, or grandson. A champion’s descendant. Probably the last hope this world had. And yet... they despise him. It wasn’t fair.

You were sitting outside, by the inn you had booked a room in. There were a couple of wooden stumps to sit on by the door. It’s a nice sunny day and you want to be outside before going in for dinner. The little town you found was thriving the best it could. Surviving on the small farms that feeds the whole town. Currently, the champion’s descendent was being denied a room. His hood down and face in full view to not hide who he is. Maybe he should have. There was plenty vacancy, but the woman who owned the place was practically screaming at him. She was much smaller and it would take nothing for him to intimidate her. But Jiraiya backed up as she attempted to get in his face. He didn’t want to take part in the argument. She was screaming insults at him. She was causing a crowd to form. Other townsfolk were joining in on the verbal berating. He didn’t breathe a word of defence. More or less, he let them do this. All the while he scans the area around him, above their heads searching for something. A way out most likely.

“You aren’t welcome here!” A woman shrieked.

“Failure!” A man next to her added.

“How dare you show yourself in our town!” An old farmer jabbed his pitchfork in the champion’s direction.

As they rallied, Jiraiya simply raised his guard. He widened his stance and paid close attention to those closest to him. He braced his legs to launch in any direction and made it obvious he was ready to defend himself. That only seemed to turn the crowd into an active mob. You witnessed what a properly trained fighter can do. With keen insight on their movements, Jiraiya simply... dodged. He deflected and dodged the uncoordinated attacks that came his way. He was so graceful in comparison to them. The years of experience showed in his calculated counters. It’s nothing like the lacking fighting style of the general population now. If anyone wanted to travel, they at least learned how to swing a blade. The monsters of the land don’t give two shits and will attack anything that moves.

It was clear he didn’t want to strike them. His expression was that of utter ‘I am sick of this shit’ as he continues to be on the complete defensive. He had the upper hand and was clearly buying time to find an opening to leapfrog out of there. Someone had a sword and a bit of luck.

Time seemed to slow down as one of the strangers was bringing the blade towards Jiraiya’s face. It would be a deadly blow. One that would split open his head. He reacted by bringing his hand up. The guard on his the back of his hand caught the weapon. It split through thewooden guard and into his skin. Blood immediately began to trail down his hand and arm. There was a momentary pause. Before Jiraiya threw his arm back to knock his attacker away. The assaulter tripped and landed on their ass. Since everyone was momentarily confused and distracted, and honestly he doesn’t want to be here anymore, Jiraiya seized the opportunity to fucking book it. He jumped over a person to do so. He hightailed it back out of the town.

Poor guy. How could they be so cruel? The townspeople stayed gathered in their little mob and talked. They were bitter and mean. They doted on the man who had cut open the disgraced hero. They treated the little shit like a saint.

“If only you had gotten his neck.” One of them shook their head in disappointment.

“Yeah, he’s quick though.” The swordsman answered with a shrug. “Maybe next time.”

How appalling! Not wanting to support these people, you grabbed your backpack from your room and left the town. There’s droplets of blood along the path and grass. You follow it to a nearby river. Where the champion was squatted by the water. There’s a thin stream of blood that’s now flowing in the river. He’s washing his wound, the guard pulled off so he can tend to it properly.

You approach and crouch down next to him. So... this is Jiraiya. He looks just like his namesake... your grandma said he was quite the lady killer when she was younger. She often told you what he looked like. She had a crush on him and would take any opportunity to talk to him. She was a young maid at the castle when he was first appointed as a retainer to the royal family. She told you he was a suave, confident man that loved the girls. He’d impress the lasses by taking them to the castle and sneaking around with them. Your grandfather glared at her the whole time she wistfully described her date with Champion Jiraiya. His lips pursed into a tight frown as she told you how his competition wooed her. Needless to say grandpapa wasn’t a big fan of the charming champion.

Was this Jiraiya like that? Right now, he was wearily keeping an eye on you. Or maybe this was a reincarnation? It’s not like he has to be exactly like his predecessor. The world needs a hero now. Perhaps the goddess gave him another chance? That would give enough reason to be serious and stoic. He casts a glance to you and stays on guard. 

That or he’s just hiding his real nature as a person. Why express himself to a world that hated every fibre of his being? He doesn’t trust you and that’s very clear in his body language. He’s tense. His jaw is clenched. He shifts his weight from foot to foot. Strangers put him off.

“Are you okay?” You start off the conversation. It’s best to cut the tension with your cheery tone and concerned expression.

“...” Jiraiya looks at you again. Slower this time. Looking you up and down in careful consideration of your presence. Then he returns to his wound, holding the injury above the water as he splashed water on it. He keeps glancing at you. It’s not in a nervous way, it’s cautious.

“Do you need help wrapping that up?” You point to his hand.

Still, he is silent. He looks tired. Tired and downhearted. Can you blame the man? A town of people just publicly shamed and attacked him. It probably wasn’t the first time. He knew what to do to make a speedy escape.

“Can you talk?” You frown and poke his cheek.

Jiraiya turned his head away to get you to stop. He furrows his brows. Why... are you here? Why are you pestering him with questions and offering help? It’s odd to have the world hate him. It’s like the world was flipped on his head. Once a long time ago, people loved him. He and his friends hailed as champions and trusted defenders of the world. Now his friends are all dead and everyone hates him... except for you. So far it feels like you are the only person that had offered him something. Aside from his tribe. Do they really count? They only helped because he was practically half dead when he showed up. It was more out of pity than love.

“Yes.” His voice is raspy from lack of use. When was the last time he spoke? It’s hard to recall. No one wanted to talk to him and if he did it was the wrong thing to say.

The small and terse response was enough to make you smile. He has a nice voice. It suited him. It’s deep and even. You got a feeling he’s probably more emotive than this. He’s got smile lines. The quiet and tense demeanour just didn’t feel true. You could tell he’s capable of much more. What would it take to get him to smile?

“Do you have first aid? You can use my bandages if you need.” You offer. You take your backpack off and began pilfering around the inside for them. You find your roll of bandages and hold out your hand. Jiraiya stares at your outstretched hand. “I don’t bite!” You joke with a half forced laugh. There’s still some tension in the air.

“Why are you helping me?” At this point, he just assumes the worst in people. He hesitantly put his injured hand in your outstretched one.

You offer him a friendly smile. You begin to wrap his hand up. “You don’t deserve to be treated so horribly. It’s not your fault the world went to shit.”

“... It kinda is.”

“Don’t let them tell you that. It’s not like you were there when The Calamity struck.”

“I was.”

What? How is that possible? At most, this man looks to be in his forties. Less than half of the time that has passed since the disaster struck! He couldn’t have been there! The confusion was clear on your face. For the first time in a very long time, Jiraiya huffs a laugh. A quiet laugh that was barely that. More like an amused exhale. It’s the most he’s done since he woke up.

“Even I’m not to sure what happened. I was critically injured in battle and close to death. Next I awoke, I was told over a hundred years have passed.” Jiraiya sighs quietly and looks up to the sky. “All my friends are gone and the world was in ruins... because I failed. I failed everyone.” His words get quieter.

A lump formed in your throat as you heard the swell of emotion in his voice. He’s broken-hearted about it all. You swallow down the lump, crying in front of a man you just met would make a weird first impression. Same with just pulling him in a hug. He needs like a thousand of them! As much as you would like to, it’s clear he’s not a touchy feely person. Poor thing. It would have been a kinder fate to have let him die. It seemed cruel to bring him back and let him live with all this crushing knowledge. He’s burdening all this grief by himself. On top of that he gets harassed and ostracized by the very people who begged the goddesses for a hero.

You finish wrapping his wound. Jiraiya thanked you and stood up. You stood up with him. You don’t to leave his side. You’re alone in the world too. “Can I travel with you?”

“Why would you want to do that? You’ll only get treated like how I am.” Hey, he’s not opposing the idea. Not completely anyways! He even has the good nature to be concerned about your public image. Rolling with Jiraiya would only bring you the same harassment he gets. Which is fine.

“Then you aren’t alone!” You grab his hand and take place beside him. He doesn’t need to deal with it all by himself. He’s got so much worth, but he doesn’t know that anymore. It’s like it got bullied out of him.

It’s been a long time since he’s blushed. It’s been longer since someone touched him, without bad intentions that is. Yet another complete turn over. Back when he was a young champion, girls would just flock to him. In the present, no girl would be caught dead with the so called ‘Divine Champion’. Jiraiya is a little touch starved. He didn’t realize how much he missed something as simple as a hand to hold. It’s nice. The heat from your skin and the feeling of being wanted, all so nice. He interlocks his fingers with yours, not planning to let it go or chance it happening. You sidestep closer and blink your lashes at him. You like him, eh? Maybe you’re a gift from the goddesses? Were they finally going to stop punishing him? It always felt like they were.

“How about we explore some of the mountains? I hear there’s treasure up there.” Jiraiya suggests as he points to one mountain silhouette far away in the horizon.

“Sounds good!” You agree. You take the first step with him as he takes lead toward the destination. Treasure hunting in the snow, then spending the cold night cuddling in his arms? Very very nice.

You’ll get him to smile. Maybe you could do much more!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m uploading like right after doing graveyard shift I have no idea if this is good or not. I lack all kinds of Perception when I am tired af. Love you thanks for reading if you did dear reader!


	11. First Day In Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a world where Jiraiya said yes to becoming Hokage the first time they ask him. What else does he do to make the place his own? 
> 
> He bangs his girl that’s what he’ll do!
> 
> With a side of salt at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s something nice after posting like sad boy hours the last couple of chapters. Just some light hearted office sex lmao

Jiraiya spins around to face you. He gestures to the office and smiles. At the moment, it’s fairly bare and empty. Aside from the desk in the middle back of the room. Plus the pictures of his predecessors on the wall above him. The office was now fairly blank since it missed the small things Hiruzen had put into it.

“Pretty neat huh? Did you ever think I would agree?” He asks.

“To be honest, no.” You were blunt with him.

Jiraiya never really liked being a leader even though he was good at it. It was certainly quite a shock to practically everyone when he agreed. Jiraiya was now the Forth Hokage. The student taking over after his teacher. It was a mystery. He was so against it for so long. Why he suddenly wanted to do it was strange. But, why complain? He looked nice in the official white robes. Although, he absolutely hated the hat.

“Doesn’t really suit me.” Jiraiya shrugged as he set the thing aside.

“It’s a lot of white against white.” You agree as you tuck his hair behind his ears.

Jiraiya grabs your wrists. The smile on his face grew cheeky. He held your arms still as he placed a kiss on your lips. “And what shall my first order be as the leader of this village?”

“Oh I’m sure you got some ideas.” You reply sarcastically.

“Will you do as I say?”

“But of course, Lord Hokage.” You kiss him and leave your lips to linger close to his. “I am but a servant to your will.”

“How nice to have your loyalty!” He leaves you to sit behind his new desk. He adjusts until he’s comfortable in it. He looks you up and down as you stand in front of him. “Take off your clothes.”

Sheesh, getting right to it. You comply. Kicking off your shoes first. Followed by slowly taking off your shirt. Then your pants. Jiraiya’s eyes don’t leave you. He’s smiling happily. Legs crossed and propped on the desk. The chair was tipped back slightly as he leans against it.

“Toss me your panties.” Was his next request.

Interesting. What exactly was he planning for you? You peel them off and kick them to him. Jiraiya catches it effortlessly. My oh my... the fabric was wet. He holds it against his nose and lips. Fuck that smells good. Your bra slides off and now you’re naked in front of your boyfriend, your lover, your leader. It felt very exposing. All the large windows that made up half the room were open. It really was a breathtaking view of the village. But it’s scary to think of all those people being able to see you. Same with the anbu... don’t they hang out about the ceilings of the Hokage’s estate? Oh god please let there not be a series of elite ninjas staring at your naked body!

“Dance around a little, baby. Show off that body for your leader.” Jiraiya purred. You could see his tongue darting out quickly to lick the underwear in his hands. He’s smiling against the fabric. He’s absolutely giddy and horny. He must have thought about this for weeks.

“As you wish.” You sway your hips. Slowly, you run your hands along your body. Moaning when your finger lightly touched some of your more sensitive areas. To bad there’s no music. Something with a good heavy beat. Easy to sway your body to as you dance.

“Should I install a pole in here?” Jiraiya asks with a chuckle.

You turn around and bend over. A sharp inhale came from your gracious leader. You look between your legs to look at Jiraiya. You raise a brow as you run your hands up your legs.

“Now that’d be an interesting.” You answer. You pull back the skin of your butt to show off both holes. “Assigning missions while one stripper dances on a pole while another is giving you a lap dance.”

“I like how you think!”

“Or we could go full porno. I’ll just ride you while you go about your paperwork.”

“Also a good option!”

You roll your eyes. He really was perverted. Even more so when he’s horny. He came up with all kinds of kinky ideas while aroused. The best example being right now.You stand and put a strut in your walk. You crawl onto the desk. You sat on your knees with your legs spread. You casually touch yourself as your talk to him. Jiraiya sat up straight and put his feet down.

“Maybe I could hide under your desk everyday. Ready for you to use any hole you’d like at anytime.” You propose another idea.

“That would be wonderful.” Jiraiya touches your thighs. He holds them tightly as he watches your hand. “You, ready to suck my cock at all hours of the day. It’d certainly make the time fly by.”

You tuck two fingers inside of you and thrust. It only got you more excited. The idea of doing something so naughty everyday sounded good. Being a good little cock slave to your Hokage. Stuck under his desk naked and constantly used. Choking on his dick. Taking in every inch and feeling it tickle your throat. All why you do this, Jiraiya is gripping your hair while he speaks calmly to ninja of all ranks. His nails scraping against your scalp and his whole body tense. But his voice calm and even as he gives them orders. Maybe it’ll crack a little as he gets close. Which would raise a few brows. The more perceptive would know exactly what their leader was doing, but would save face and not speak of it.

Fantasizing about it was enough to do you over. You pull your hand away, gushing on the desk. You sigh after several moments. Oh fuck yeah. Jiraiya smiles. Watching you cum was always a good time. It turned him on more to see all your delicious juices running down your inner thighs and dripping onto his desk.

“Amazing! This desk is going to be covered in things it shouldn’t be by the end of the week!” Jiraiya was excited. This job wasn’t so bad after all. Especially if you are going to fulfill the roll of being his fun little toy.

Jiraiya pulled you forward. You slide until your knees are partly off the desk and he gets up. He swallows heavily. You grab his shoulders. You watch him pull his pants down. He’s hard and ready to go. He wastes no time shoving his cock deep inside of you. At the same time you and him moan from the feeling.

The angle was a little weird. To fix it, Jiraiya pushed you down. Your legs fly up. You fix them around his waist. You grip the edge of the desk, your fingers by your butt, holding on for dear life as he pounds you. You bite your lip to muffle your noises. Jiraiya must be excited, he’s fucking you rougher than normal. Fast enough where you can’t keep your breath and hard enough to rock not just your body but the desk underneath you.

“Ah! Jiraiya!” You throw your head back as you cry out.

Jiraiya returns the favour and moans your name. You wrap your hands around his back and cling onto his clothes. It’s a shame he’s keeping so much on. He’s a wall of muscles under all those layers. The white robes had become a little disheveled, opening up and cascading around you. It captured the heat from your body as well as Jiraiya’s. Sweat ran down your body. His weight over you felt crushing but so welcoming. You open your eyes and cry out again. Arching your back and rocking your hips. Your gaze takes a second to focus on the door ahead. Although it’s all upside down and hard to decipher for a moment.

Then it does. Your vision focuses. Someone is there! With a gasp you reflexively close your legs, which only squeezed your partner’s sides. A rush of blood flooded your cheeks. Oh god!

“M-Minato!” You struggle to say.

“What? Babe, you do know who you fucking right?” Jiraiya asks in confusion.

You look at him and frown. Jiraiya casts up a brow at you. Then he looks ahead. Oh shit! His thrusts pause.

“Oh! Minato.” Jiraiya laughs and swallows nervously.

The young man was standing in the doorway with an envelope in hand. He’s frozen. His eyes wide, body stiff with surprise, and completely red in the face. Jiraiya relaxed and began to thrust again. Yikes! Just what the hell is he doing? You whine and hit him on the arm. 

“The fuck is wrong with you! There’s someone watching!” You yell at him. You’re embarrassed and angry. Can’t the kinky bastard wait?!

“So? Minato is a big kid now. He knows what we’re doing.” Jiraiya argued calmly. He bends back over to rest his body against yours again. He licks your neck and laughs. You can’t resist a quiet keen. You don’t wan to encourage him, but it feels too good. He keeps his eyes on his student as he continues to pleasure you. “Come back later, kiddo. I’m busy.”

That snapped Minato out his rigid state. He blurted an apology before leaving and shutting the door. You glare at Jiraiya. He’s chuckling a little, he looks down at you. He frowns.

“What? Don’t make that face!”

“You just scarred that poor boy for life!” You scold as you hit his arm with each word. 

“Don’t be dramatic! He’s my student! He’s accidentally seen me naked like four times now.”

You open your mouth to argue further, but Jiraiya halts you with a kiss. He stuck his tongue in your mouth plays with your tongue to keep you quiet. Sigh. What a weirdo. But he’s your weirdo. You exhale a sigh through your nose. You rock your hips in an alternate motion to his thrusts. That pleases him and he moans into your mouth. Jiraiya runs his hands up your body. He plays with your breasts as he fucks you. His thumbs rubbing your nipples back and fourth.

You adjust and do the one thing that drives Jiraiya crazy. The good kind of crazy that turns him on. You grab fistfuls of his hair, your right by his crown and your left at the base of he ponytail, and you pull. The slight sting and burn was great! Jiraiya loves the feeling. You pull hard enough to break the kiss. He grits his teeth and his lips are back in an aggressive smile. He snaps his teeth at your nose and chuckles when you jump.

Jiraiya pulls your legs up. He stands straight up. He holds your legs tightly against his body. Your feet forced together as he holds you by the ankles. The new position offered a different sensation. It felt like you were squeezing his cock. It was tighter. It was better. Jiraiya moves one hand lower to wrap around your knees to keep your legs together.

“Mm! Much better!” You sigh happily.

The thrusts weren’t as hard. It was gentle enough to close your eyes and focus on exactly your Hokage makes you feel. You smile and sneak a finger between your squished thighs. You touch your hard and sensitive clit. You touch yourself in the same beat as the thrusts. It adds so much. Your mouth opens to allow breathy moans to be heard at full volume. You arch your back and feel the rest of your muscles go tense. Watching you only got Jiraiya off. He kisses down your ankle and calf. You are fun to watch. Your expression, your writhing body, the way his cock looks between your legs. All of it good. He switches up his pace to appease both his needs and yours.

He pulled almost all the way out and wait. You open your eyes and look at him curiously. Jiraiya smirks before gripping you harder. He thrusts back in all the way. A loud slap of his hips meeting your ass echoed in the spacious office. He repeats it. It’s agonizingly slow. The second time he grinds as deeply as possible against you. A sensual moan followed as he relishes in the feeling. He feels your insides squeeze him and you go even more stiff.

“Jiraiya! Please, I’m so close!” You beg.

He pressed his palm on your finger, grinding it against your clit. He circles his hips against you and chuckles. “What was that~? What did you call me?” Jiraiya asked in a mocking parody of innocence and sweetness.

Ah that kinky bastard! You push your hips up and cry out desperately. “Fuck me Lord Hokage! I want to cum all over your cock!”

A smirk twitched at the corner of Jiraiya’s mouth. Atta girl! Hearing you talk like that was like a fine symphony. He splits your legs and hooks his arms under your knees. It lifts you so that your ass was hanging in the air and your shoulders were against the desk. He returns to fucking you hard. You don’t last much longer as it hits and digs deep into all the right spots.

Jiraiya keeps going, only getting you higher on your high. One last pull back and a throaty cry and he becomes undone. He cums inside of you. It’s hot and comes in thick spurts. The feeling put you over the edge again. Having another orgasm right after another put you in a dizzy spill that lasted for a minute.

Jiraiya steps away, pulling out when he does. He drops your legs and the back of your thighs hit the edge of the desk. Your feet graze the floor. His hands hit the desk as he braces against it. His head down. Some of his hair was stuck to his forehead. He’s breathing heavily through his mouth. He looks you over, in a similar state to him. He smiles. You furrow your brow as he grabs your panties again. The dirty pervert uses it to clean himself up before sliding them back on you. It was a little uncomfortable. Feeling his cum soak and being stopped by the fabric.

“Keep those on for me all day, won’t you?” Jiraiya grins.

“It feels gross.” You complain as you squeeze your legs together.

“But it’s hot isn’t it? I want you to carry my cum all day. I want to come home to you wearing these saturated panties!” He snaps the elastic of your underwear as he grins like a maniac.

“Pervert.” You scoff.

You sit up with your arms crossed over your chest. You huff at him. Jiraiya just laughs and sits in his chair. He leaned back with his fingers weaved together in front of him. His elbows were propped on the arm rests. He was still in a state of disarray. His hair messy from you tugging on it. His robe open and showing his typical shirt underneath, which was sweaty from the effort he just put in to fucking you. His pants to his knees and his dick simply hanging in the breeze. He doesn’t seem in a hurry to get dressed. It’s his office after all. He shouldn’t have to.

The door swung open so hard you jumped. You turn your head to look over your shoulder and Jiraiya leans to the side to look around you. It was the elders. Koharu pointed a finger at him and shrieked.

“How dare you fornicate on The First Hokage’s desk! That’s an antique!”

Jiraiya shrugs casually. “And I just made it The Forth’s. Didn’t you tell me to do something to make it comfortable for me?”

“We didn’t mean...” Homura stopped and gestured to you with disgust. “This!”

“I guess you gotta be more specific next time.” He stood up. Your body blocked his for the most part. Sigh, leave it to the elders to ruin a perfectly good moment. He pulled his pants up and took the step towards you. He put his hands on the desk beside your ass and began to kiss the side of your neck. You are too embarrassed to push him away. At least these old farts didn’t walk in while you were cumming. That would be like.... the worst orgasm ever. Hitting that lovely high while stuck making ever contact with the most respected members of the community. They would’ve started a riot. They already ain’t your biggest fans. They never said it to your face, but they don’t think you’re good enough for Jiraiya.

“Stop it, boy! This is a serious job now with serious responsibilities!”

“So let me have my fun. I’ll still get the job done.” Jiraiya argued calmly. You gasp quietly when his finger rubs your slit through your underwear. The fabric was already soaked and sticky. It makes him smile, especially as you squirm.

You grab his hand and whisper. “Stop it! Not in front of them! I won’t have a career after this.”

“Yes you will. You got a lot of sway with the Hokage!” Jiraiya flirts with you. He kisses your cheek. “You got nothing to worry about.”

You huff and relax your grip. The elders did technically have to do what he said. He rests his chin on your shoulder as he stares the elders down. He continues to rub you down. They know what he’s doing. They see his arm moving. They see you twitching. Koharu huffs before spinning on her heel and leaving. Homura made a sour face before following. Danzo, who had been silent the whole time, finally spoke. He raised his cane towards Jiraiya as he talked.

“Watch your step, boy. You’re on thin ice.”

“Don’t threaten me, Danzo.” Jiraiya didn’t back down. He matched it in tone and volume, which was dark and firm. “You won’t like where it gets you.”

Tension rises in the room. You stay completely still. Fear crawls up your spine as the two men stare at each other. It felt like a thousand needle point eyes were ready to stab your back. Danzo was looking you over, you don’t need to turn around to know that. It feels predatory and there was a definite threat that you aren’t sure what it means. It causes a wave of goosebumps to break out on your skin.

Eventually, the last elder leaves. Once he does the air clears. You sigh and put your arms around Jiraiya. He returns your hug and puts a bunch of kisses on your lips. He was still tense. He understood what the threat meant and wasn’t about to share. He gently strokes his hands down your back.

“Get dressed, go home. I’ll be there by seven.” Jiraiya spoke to you quietly.

“Okay.” You agree. You hold his face and keep him in a longer more passionate kiss. “Promise?”

“I promise.” He says with a confident nod. He gives you another kiss before stepping away to give you space.

You slide off the desk and gather your clothes. You put them on. It was quiet as you do. Whenever you looked over at Jiraiya, he was sitting at his desk with his hands folded on the old wood. His face in a scowl as he stared at the desk. He was already thinking about something and lost in thought. You stand in the doorway halfway out of the office. You cast one final look at your boyfriend.

“Remember,” Jiraiya broke the quiet with a lighthearted tone. He points at your ass and grins. “Keep those on!”

“As you ordered... Lord Hokage.” You say his title in a sultry tone. You wink as you step out.

His smile changes to a smirk. It doesn’t leave his face as you shut the door on the way out. The first day in office didn’t go so bad after all! And tonight... oh boy tonight. Jiraiya grins and is stuck thinking about it. He’ll get his paperwork done.... all whilst thinking about all the fun things he wants to do to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To do list:  
> 1\. Apologize to Minato  
> 2\. Get a lock for that damn door
> 
> For real though how many people are gonna burst into the damn office?


	12. Star Crossed Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if, while a very young man, Jiraiya fell in love with a woman. One perfect for him in every way, and but of course, she is you dear reader. The problem? You are from a different village, and your people and his are at war. You and him, star crossed lovers, do what you can to meet up as often as possible during such trying times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, about 20 years old here. Smol boi. Good boi. Slightly awkward and unsure of himself boi. As for why I chose reader to be a stone bean, well looking at the map it made sense geographically to meet up in the middle. That and I think they ain’t cool with konoha, they were always portrayed hostile in past context from what I remember. Haven’t seen to the end of shippudan(shoot me I know) but I do know what happens for the most part.

You keep checking behind you. You know no one followed you, but it always felt like they did. Perhaps it’s just a deep rooted paranoia. After all, you’d be dead if they found out. You slide into the abandoned house. It seems you are early. He’s not here yet. The raindrops hitting the house echo in the empty house. You take off your backpack and unzip it. You pull out a blanket and set it out flat on the wood. Next you grab some tea lights and set them out around the room before lighting them. The last thing you do is pull off your forehead protector. Your village would kill you if they knew and you don’t want to think about that. You tuck it away in your bag.

There’s a series of knocks on the door. A rhythm you knew well. The secret knock announcing your lover had arrived. You skip on over to the door and open it. A soaking wet and grinning Jiraiya was on the other side.

“I was starting to get worried!” You joke. You jump into his arms and kiss him.

“Sorry! I couldn’t shake one of my friends.” He apologized. “She kept asking where I keep going every week.”

Over a year ago, you met Jiraiya. You literally ran into him! Smacking headfirst into his chest. Your eyes locked with his and.... that was it. You were captivated by them. It was like some other worldly force was attracting you to him. You casted a glance to read the symbol on the plate on his forehead. Your heart sank. This man was your enemy. But he was just staring at you. Never before in his life had Jiraiya been so infatuated. He’s hit on and admired girls since he was a preteen, but he’s never felt this. You made his heart pound and sweat gather at the back of his neck. His mind blanked on what to say and it felt like his tongue was swelling. And the first thing that came to mind?

“You.... your bleeding.”

Well... the line must of worked, because you let him shelter you. He carried you to this little abandoned house. He nursed you back to health. You learned about him and he learned about you. He kissed you and before you know, he’s timidly telling you he’s a virgin as you help him with his clothing. You only chuckled and told him you were too. And you’ve been infatuated with him ever since. And he felt the same. Being with him is worth every risk.

You pull him in. The Land of Rain was the only place in between your nation and his. The whole land was quiet and half broken. Barely an army left in tact from the war. Man... you are quite done with this war. So was Jiraiya. It kept you apart. Not that it was okay to be with him under normal circumstances. But each time you met up with him, your life as well as his are put at a great risk. The Leaf and Stone are sworn enemies at this point. The opposition won’t hesitate to kill a lone ninja out in the battlefield. There’s the added bonus of the half crazed Rain doing everything to protect their destroyed and famished territory. It made for a treacherous travel.

“What did you tell her?” You ask.

“That I’m fraternizing with the enemy!” Jiraiya jokes with a laugh.

You laugh with him and put another kiss on him. He kisses you back before getting settled in. Pulling off his jacket and backpack. He sets it next to yours. You sit on the blanket and pull off your soaked sandals. In the meantime, Jiraiya was pulling out his own little convoy of stuff. A bottle, a container with chopsticks taped to the lid. He unties his forehead protector and drops it in his bag. Only with you, is it a time of peace. He doesn’t want to be reminded of the problems outside of the house. He joins you on the blanket, tossing off his own shoes as well. The blanket is fuzzy and soft. It’s much more comfortable with no clothes on to be completely honest.

He rips the tape off and hands you a set of chopsticks. He pops the lid off and a pleasant smell emanated from it. It was some kind of Yakisoba. Like a gentleman, Jiraiya held the container between you and him so it was less of a travel from utensil to mouth. It wasn’t exactly the most romantic date. But it was as good as it was gonna get. At least it tasted good and still warm. He popped the cap off of the bottle with his thumb and took a drink. He handed it to you.

“Is this saké?” You ask as you sniff it. It certainly wasn’t water.

“Yup!” Jiraiya chirped happily. “It’s easier to carry in a ‘water’ bottle. The seal is better.” He made air quotes with his full hands as he spoke. 

“Do you do this on missions?” You jokingly ask.

He laughs and takes it back from you to take another drink. “Only when I was a teenager! Sensei put a stop to it when he smelt it on me.... and Tsunade.”

Gasp! What a bad kid! You could totally see a tipsy Jiraiya trying to carry out a B rank. All while passing the bottle to his friend. He was a bit of a delinquent and proud of it, since he told you all kinds of stories of him being a bad kid. One of the best ones was when he was still in the academy. A young kid of six, he found a broken tape recorder and was openly playing with it instead of paying attention to the teacher. The teacher told him to go to the office if he wasn’t going to learn. In retaliation, Jiraiya stood from his desk, wrapped the teacher’s desk in the recording tape, and did the peace sign before jumping out the window. What a champ. An icon! And yet he told you he was the kid everyone picked on. The class clown no one really had a deep connection with. Which you can emphasize with. You weren’t exactly Miss Popularity when you went to school. Just that small clique of friends. One of which had fallen in this war.... sigh. When will it end?

“Thanks for bringing the food by the way.” You change the subject.

“Thanks for bringing the atmosphere!” Jiraiya returned in a happy tone. He leaned towards you and kissed you.

“My pleasure. Having sex on the cold wet floor isn’t exactly my cup of tea.”

“Really? I figured I’m good enough at it to make you forget we’re in a rotting house.”

You giggle and adjust to sit on your knees. You shuffle closer to him. You put your hands in his damp hair as you kiss him. “Your dick isn’t that magical, sweetie.”

“I disagree!” He tosses the container away and throws his chopsticks as if they were a weapon. They imbed into the wet rotting wood by the door. With hands now free, he grabs ahold of your hips. “I guess it’s been too long if I gotta remind ya!”

You make a point to dramatically roll your eyes. Jiraiya scoffs in exaggerated offence. His hands travel lower. He gives your butt a good squeeze before going lower before stopping between your thighs and knees. He pulls on them suddenly, forcing you to lose your balance. You fall on your back and his hands are already back to your pants. He pulls them off along with your underwear. You help him with your shirt and bra. The cozy blanket kept you from the clammy wood. As much as he jokes, Jiraiya doesn’t seem keen to bang on the bare wood as much as you are. There’s still a hole in the wall from where his hand one time gave the rotting wood in. He got a palm full of splinters and you had to help him pull them out.

“Stay right there!” He was excited about something. He pulls his shirt off before standing.

You do as he says. Laying patiently on your blanket as you turn your head and watch Jiraiya. He’s squatted in front of his pack again. Digging around in it searching for something. It gets more frantic as it seems like he can’t find it.

“Damn it! I forgot it. I was sure I packed it!” He complains as he continued to dig.

“What did you forget?” You ask him.

He’s blushing. You can tell even with his back to you. The very tips of his ears are red. Just what was he doing? Jiraiya dives his whole head in there as he pulls almost everything out. Weapons, pens, a scroll with some water damage.

“Little thing! I should’ve put it in a bag or something.” He’s muttering under his breath. A muffled “Ah ha!” Soon comes after that. His head pops out and he’s holding something shiny in his hand.

Jiraiya turns around with a big cheesy grin on his face. He stands and practically dances back to you, kicking off his pants and underwear along the way. He sits beside you on his knees. He holds out a necklace, holding the ends of the thin chain in his thumb and first fingers to fully display the length of it. In the middle of the chain was a small charm. It’s a heart. The charm is so small it’s easy to miss. Only a few centimetres long and wide. Both chain and charm were a steel colour. Probably shadow steel, it’s the same material the weapons and plates for a ninja to adorn. As such, it’s a popular material for ninjas to make jewelry out if since it matched their gear and held significance to the job.

“Ta da! I got this for you!” He said happily. His expression changes to be more sheepish. “I know it’s not much. But it’s got my initials on it!” He flips the charm over to reveal that it does indeed got the faint etching of his initials. It looks like his writing.

What a sweetie! Such a thoughtful gift. It’s small and discreet. A way for him to express his feelings towards you without making too much of a fuss. The romantic gift easy to hide, but you knew it was there. A small, but lovely token of his love that you can carry around. No one else had to know what it meant. With a smile, you turn around and hold your hair out of the way. He clips it on around your neck. You inspect it as the little heart rests on your chest.

“I think it’s wonderful.” You tell him. You give him a kiss. “Does this mean I have to get you something?”

“Nah! I’m not a jewelry kind of man. Just knowing you have this makes me happy.”

His finger traces the outline of the charm. It’s a little cheesy to give a girl a necklace. But... you’re his first love. Barely in his twenties and he found someone he truly wants to be with. It’s just so cruel that you’re born to a different village. One his is at hostility with. But you... you are just so perfect. He shared so many firsts with you. Including sex. Like the first time... ever! At least you didn’t have many expectations as you were in the same boat as him. You were the coaxing and assuring one during the first time. He felt like a fool for being so nervous about it all. Still sorta is. There’s much he still hadn’t done or explored.

“I wish we could run away.” Jiraiya spoke quietly. He’d much rather be with you then fight anymore. He wouldn’t know what to do if he ever had to face you in battle. It’s so complicated... his loyalty and love being torn in two different directions.

You pull him into an embrace and kiss him. You squish your chest against his and sit on his lap. A quiet moan follows as your sex rubs against his. “I wish we could too.”

It’d be too hard. Even if you and Jiraiya managed to, you’d probably be headhunted by anbu. And whosever village elite got their first would do the opposite in. In response to having their beloved slain, you or him will be too despaired to fight and have to go home. Under arrest for abandoning duty and conspiring with the enemy. It wouldn’t be worth the risk. Maybe when it wasn’t so tense between nations. That’d be nice. You aren’t the first to fall in love with someone from a different village. In times of peace, paperwork and a disclosure agreement that you won’t join the opposing military can be signed. Where you could marry him and be apart of his village as a citizen. But not now.... they wouldn’t believe it. You won’t be accepted as a citizen. They would mistrust you, or even try to take your life. You would be ostracized by the community and Jiraiya’s reputation will suffer greatly. Enough to drive him mad from isolation or poor from prejudice ninja not assigning him missions. He’d be forced to run away to survive. And could you do it? Up and leave your village? There’s so much there you don’t want to leave behind. But... you also don’t want to have to fight. Just no... No more fighting. It’s exhausting. 

You kiss him and grab the base of his cock. A muffled moan comes from Jiraiya in response. He pushed a hand along the back of your hair. You stroke him off at a slow pace. He put his free hand down your spine and gave your ass a squeeze. He quickly moved on to tease your entrance. His middle finger long enough to reach your clit while his first curled inside of you. Little shifts of your hips helps him jerk you off. With your free hand, you run your fingers down his body. His smooth chest and abdomen. The kiss breaks for a moment to take in air and you can’t resist smiling. Jiraiya was so funny. In an adorable way. The first time he got naked in front of you, he told you he didn’t really have... hair. He told you he can’t really grow facial hair. It took too long and got too itchy to deal with. He was smooth skinned aside from a patch of pubic hair. He was oddly insecure about it. Heh... maybe the long hair was to compensate...

“Hairy dudes are gross.” You tell him with a shrug. “I’d rather bang a man smoother than a baby’s ass then stroke some rat ass’s sweater back as he tops me.”

Jiraiya died of laughter. Almost falling over when you told him that. But you are the first woman he’s been with, he’s bound to be unsure of what you want. He still had some of that juvenile ideas of what makes a man a man. You like him how he is. He’s pretty. And he’s still young. There’s plenty of growing he has to do still to become into his own man.

“Are you ready for it?” Jiraiya asks with a light tug on your hair.

You twist your wrist and run your thumb over the head, which had an eager bead of precum on it. “You know I am.”

He smiles and retreats his hand to rest on your butt again. He groped and squeezed it. He quite likes your butt. You told him you like his too. Being the first woman to touch him like this gave you some forgiveness. Jiraiya turned beet red whenever you pinched his buns. He never expected to have so much attention on his body. You he could kiss, bite, compliment, and eat out all day. But any praises to him got him so flushed. No one has called him cute or sexy before. Unless they were pulling his leg. But you meant it! You like what you see in him.

“Ah...” he catches himself exhaling a loud moan.

Would this feeling ever be bad? Jiraiya grins as you sunk down all the way. The plump and wet skin between your legs meeting his pelvis. Nah... it will always be phenomenal. Wet and tight, even contracting around him. Especially if it’s you he gets to be with. He’ll do anything to be with you.

You weave your fingers together behind his neck. He feels good. His cock rock hard and hitting you the right away. You smile at Jiraiya’s expression. His eyes closed, mouth open. Those cheeks getting rosier. You rock your hips. The corners of his mouth pull up into a smile. You kiss his open mouth. He hums before gripping your ass. He pulls and guides you into a rhythm. It’s good for both you and him. Not too slow, but not too fast. Rising up to half way before sinking back down.

“Lay down....” you whisper against his lips. “I want to ride you.”

The smile on Jiraiya’s parted lips grows more. He leans back until he’s flat on the blanket. The front of his thighs are against your ass so you know he’s got his legs bent. He brings his hands around to hold your hips. You stroke his arms and hold your hands over his. You rock your hips forward as you rise and push them back when you fall. Sliding more of his cock out of you before taking it all back in. It brings about waves of pleasure.

It’s nice watching him. His red cheeks and weak breaths. The way his hair spread out against the dark fabric of the blanket. Jiraiya moans your name and his hips roll in the opposite rotation of your movements. You smile and stroke over his shoulders. Then his chest. Lastly, his abdomen. He’s fit and beautiful. You brace your hands on his bellybutton and use the leverage it gives you to lift yourself farther. Rising up until it’s just the head before falling back down. Your ass making a wet slapping sound as it hits his skin.

You split your legs farther apart as you bend over. You rest your body over his. Jiraiya eagerly kisses you once you’re there. You roll your hips, completely changing up the rhythm. Your voice almost harmonizes with his as you moan with your lover. It feels amazing. Yes, he is your first, but it just felt right. The size and shape just right for you for optimal pleasure. Jiraiya feels the same. You are the first, but hot damn if he didn’t nail it the first time! You’re his perfect woman.

Jiraiya gripped your hips harder before rolling. You land on your left side. He lifted your leg under your knee and took over. He fucked you with some power in his thrusts. You are vocal and cry out from it. The encouragement makes him go faster out of excitement.

“Ah! Oh Jiraiya! That feels good!” You moan and gasp.

He gasps your name before biting your bottom lip. He kisses and drags his tongue over your collarbone. His mouth caught the charm of your necklace every couple of kisses. His breath his hot, but feels cool on your warm skin. Sweat was rolling off of you. Jiraiya too. The temperature of the room seemed to rise just from the body heat you and him are generating. He forced you into your back and he wrapped his arms around your lower back right above your butt. He lifted you and kept you there as he pounded you. His body still bent over yours. His head level with your boobs. You could feel his teeth biting your skin. Hard love bites that left marks on your body. You reach down and grip his hair.

Jiraiya’s breath hitches and he held it. The pace of his hips changed to slower. Thrusting once and holding it. His fingers dragged down your back. He sat up on his knees and brought your hips to him as he thrusted and held. He’s close. You squeeze your legs on his hips. He cracks open his clenched eyes to look at you. He didn’t even know he shut them. You smile at him and arch your back. You’re about there too. Your walls flex around his cock and he doesn’t last much longer. Continuing to switch between fast and slow until...

“W-Wait!” He cried out before yelling something incoherent.

The new sensation of him filling you hit you. His load squirting in a thick stream inside of you. It’s unfamiliar, but not unwelcome. In fact, it seemed to turn you on. Enough to join him. Jiraiya sits back on his knees once it’s over. He pulled out and turned red.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to!” He apologized in a fluster.

“It’s fine.” You say with a satisfied smile. You are laying flat on the blanket again. Well.. half on it. Your head and shoulders are on the wood. Rolling around on the thing had twisted it. Your smile grows as you spread your legs. You caress your innermost thighs by your vagina and pull back the skin. “You should admire your first cream pie.”

“Damn...” A quiet chortle follows the statement. Jiraiya looks between your legs to your eyes. He can’t resist smirking. “You’re kinda a perv.”

“Says the man grinning at his fine work.”

“Well I uh... I like seeing you like this.” He admits with a laugh. He blatantly stares at your crotch. He wouldn’t mind doing that again. And again... All night. His team won’t miss him for a night will they? They’ve been loyal and kind to him, covering his ass when sensei asks where he goes all the time. They know it’s to see a girl, they just don’t know the lengths he goes to see a girl. Not just a girl, but his girl! You mean so much.

You roll your eyes before sitting up. He’s such a dork. You stretch your legs out and flex your toes. You rub your sticky thighs together. What to use to clean up? Meh... guess the blanket just has to be washed. It’s covered in many fluids. And gonna be covered in more. You stretch your arms above your head and arch your back. You reach down and touch the charm. The little steel heart of your beloved. Jiraiya watches you quietly. The way you smile when your fingers touched the necklace he got you got his heart pounding. Everything about you gets his heart pounding. He gets nauseous in a good way when he thinks about you. It’s weird. Good weird. No one has ever made him feel this way and he doubts he’ll ever find it again. His mouth opens and the words come out.

“I love you.”

The words catch you off guard. Your head snaps in his direction. Eyes wide with surprise. Did he just say that? You blink. It sinks in and you laugh. You flip over to your knees and crawl over to him.

“I love you too!” You return wholeheartedly.

You kiss him. He returns it with a sigh of relief. It’s exciting! Finding one’s soulmate on the first try. Jiraiya is too precious of a treasure to let go. He feels the same about you. His first serious relationship and he’s sure he’s found the one. And those who question it have never been in love.

The rest of the night was spent doing much of the same. Switching between sex and laying on the stained blanket. You traced circles in his chest while his hand rubbed your hip. Enjoying the sweet time of talking about nothing. It’s such a rare thing to have the time to talk to him for so long. You would press your forehead against his when you got sleepy. Jiraiya sacrificed his arm to be your pillow as you drifted off first. He wrapped the edges of the blankets around his body and yours before fully settling in to sleep as well.

In the morning, your bones hurt from the uncomfortable floor. The dampened wood had penetrated the blanket. It was cold, wet, and lumpy. It was worth it. It’s rare you get to sleep in your lover’s arms. Jiraiya just groaned when you moved. He didn’t want this to end! He’d much rather just stay in those abandoned house with you then go home. You patted his head and scolded him for whining. He was just too cute. He looked like a five year old. His hair sticking out in every direction. His eyes still closed as he moved around sluggishly. He’s not exactly a morning person.

He picked up his clothes and put them on slowly. He dragged it out. He didn’t want to say goodbye. He didn’t want to go! You were already dressed and packing your bag. At the door you waited. Jiraiya joined you. Your forehead protector in your hand. He had his clenched in his hand. You look at the engraved plate in your hand. If only it was the same as his. Then you wouldn’t have to do this. You could just walk home with him. At last, you equip it with a tight knot. Jiraiya was finishing tying his when you looked up at him.

“I don’t want to say goodbye.” He sighed.

“I don’t either.” You offer a smile to comfort him as you play with the fringe along the side of his head.

Jiraiya grabs your hand and kisses the palm. “I’ll try and keep in touch. I’ll send a letter in the usual method.”

“I look forward to it. I’ll do what I can too. But I don’t have the advantage of having summons.” You laugh quietly. The goodbye was always hard, but you don’t want to be sad around him. A tearful parting will only make it worse.

His smile is melancholy. He kisses you again. Then again and again. One hand holding your cheek as he makes out with you. His forehead hits yours. There’s a quiet clink as the metal of the headbands’ plates collide.

“I love you.” Jiraiya spoke the words quietly. It kept it intimate, as such words should be.

“I love you too.” You matched his vocal level.

Jiraiya traces the shape of the charm around your neck. He steps out into the rain. One final smile and he turns. He runs back towards his home among the trees. You turn in the opposite direction and go back to the mountains of yours.

Hopefully, you’ll hear from Jiraiya soon. Your heart already aches to be away from him. It’s as if your heart is tethered to his and each step you take away from him puts strain on the rope connecting them. It pulls you back, with the urge to run back into his arms. Soon. Very soon. You’ll see him again. At least now you have a part of him with you. And you must think of a gift to give him. You clutch the charm engraved with your love’s initials. What could be good enough gift?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big awkward “I’ve only had sex once” vibes. But hey, everyone gotta start somewhere. I do got some sequel ideas for this one. And I am working on sequels to the others I’ve mentioned, but I’m invested in loads of ideas rn. Juggling like four chapters at a time to keep my brain going. And I’ll post a few times this week. Booked the weekend off for my B day and wasn’t scheduled on Monday so all I did was write lmao(as well as excessively drink and ate a whole cake to myself)! Thank you for your continued support of my trash fics. We forging the way to 20 chapters and that’s lit af.


	13. Good News During Hard Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whilst on the road with Jiraiya, you are very sick and it just won’t go away. Worried for your health, he insists you see a doctor. And for once, he is met with good news. You’re pregnant!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if this counts as a warning but he’s just kinda depressed and there’s mention of death and all that not so fun stuff. No sexy times just like feel goods mixed with the sads.

Ugh! Being sick is absolute misery. You trudge back to the path, where your husband is waiting for you. Jiraiya grinned at your return and picked up your backpack from the dirt. He didn’t mind carrying it. Especially if you keep dropping it to tear cheek into the underbrush by the road to go throw up. You’ve been doing it all morning. The last couple of weeks as a matter of fact. You are just nauseous all morning and wobbly on your feet for the rest of the day. It made traveling slow. It was making him worry. It’s an... odd sickness. Like clockwork, you are sick from waking up at five am until about eight. Not wanting to be a burden, you insist that you’ll just deal and to keep going. Little did you know, Jiraiya was guiding the way to a small village. One he knows has a good doctor. It’s an isolated place that barely knows the troubles of the world, so that helps... kinda. No one knows him. It’s worrisome to see you in such a state everyday. He doesn’t want to see you fall to a flu. A quick visit won’t hurt.

He offers his free hand. You take it and groan as you lean against his arm. This is honestly the worst. All you want to do is curl up and die. If only you had a bed to curl up in and sleep this gross flu away. But no! You just gotta throw up every god damn day, don’t ya? Yuck. It’s not even food you’re throwing up anymore. You smack your lips and cringe at the lingering taste of bile.

Jiraiya doesn’t really say anything. He hums in acknowledgement when you say something. But he seems distracted as he walks. That, or he just doesn’t want to talk. Sometimes he gets those moods. He gets quiet when he’s lost in his thoughts. You accept the silence and let him lead the way. The sights and sounds of civilization was a great comfort. Finally! People! Real food and beds! You just want to flop down on a big comfy bed.

“It looks like they got an inn!” You say as you point to the quaint little building.

“Heh, you tired already?” Jiraiya asked with a small chuckle. “I want to do something first before we check in.”

He grips your hand tighter and pulls you along. You roll your eyes and follow willingly. After walking the small main street of the town, he turns and stops at the door of a small building. It had the word ‘clinic’ carved into it.

“Oh come on!” You complain. “I’m not dying or anything! It’s just the flu.”

“Please?”

His somber response surprised you. It was then you realized Jiraiya looked... stressed. Well yeah, you’ve been waking him up early from puking in the bushes every morning. He nicely held your hair out of the way most times. He comforted you every time with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. He assured you that he didn’t mind. But perhaps he’s not as chill about is as you thought. He’s worried. It seems he’s really taking the whole ‘in sickness and in health’ vow very seriously.

“I quick check up never hurt anybody.” You say and knock on the door.

He sighs with relief and smiles. Good, he’s happy you agree. The town was more conservative and wouldn’t allow Jiraiya in during your appointment. Which is a shame. He likes seeing you naked after all. He wouldn’t mind playing doctor. Due to your lingering sickness, you and him haven’t had adult fun in a long time. It’s also been a few weeks since hitting up a town. Having sex in the woods isn’t all it’s cut out to be. Last time, he got his hair tangled in a bush and a stick poked you somewhere inappropriate. It killed the mood since both you and him caught a case of the giggles. Jiraiya tried to keep it going. He held and stroked your thighs as you untangled his hair. He was enjoying the view with his head between your thighs. But you only laughed harder. Especially when he goosed you. It surprised you and you lost your balance, where you landed on his face. He didn’t really mind, but he was a little blue in the face from the sudden cut of oxygen. You must love him, because after that display of absolute fuckery, you always mention that you miss the sex too. It just ain’t in the stars when you’re as sick as you are.

After only a handful of minutes, you exit the building. Jiraiya stood from his little post on the stairs. You stand in front of him. You’re very quiet. A distant, but content look in your eye. Like you are lost in a pleasant memory or thought. There’s a light blush on your cheeks and the faintest of smiles pulling up the corners of your mouth. You don’t say anything. Just let out a quiet laugh before embracing him. Your grip light as you hold onto him and press your face against his chest.

“What’s wrong? What did they tell you?” Jiraiya inquires as he returns your embrace. This was an odd reaction. You dying or something? Should he be more terrified or worried for your health? But you promised you wouldn’t leave him... “Are you okay?”

“What did they tell me?” You repeat his words quietly. You hold on tighter and nuzzle your cheek against him. “I’m more than okay.” You kiss between his pecks and look up at him. “I’m pregnant.”

It felt like the world stopped for a moment. Jiraiya halts completely. You feel him tense with surprise. You watch your husband with a slight bit of amusement. He’s eyes were huge! His face stuck in an expression of shock. The subject of babies had come up a few times. He’s older than you and had the idea in his head since the first time he realized he loved you. But you are younger and wanted to wait. Which worked out well. You got to enjoy being a couple with him for several years. It’s about time isn’t it? He relaxes and laughs. It starts out small, then grows into that loud and unapologetic laughter you know and love. It’s been a while since you’ve heard his laughter. That laugh he hadn’t made in about a year. It’s pleasant to see him happy. Jiraiya squeezes you in a hug and even lifts you up to spin you around. A baby! He’s gonna be a dad!

“About time I knocked you up! Don’t ya think?” He asked jovially.

“Yes!” You agree wholeheartedly.

You began to laugh along with him. He puts a big kiss on you. It was hard to kiss him as his lips were pulled tight into a smile. It’s the happiest he’s been in a long time. Jiraiya put you down and run his hands along your cheeks. He stops them behind your ears and he just holds your face. He kisses you in a more loving and serious way. Tilting his head to make it deeper, pushing his tongue against your lips for a moment as if to guide his lips.

“I can’t even explain how happy I am.” Jiraiya whispered. “The woman I love is having my baby! I can’t believe it’s finally happening.”

You hold his wrist just to turn your head towards it and put a quick kiss on it. You look at him. He’s not so stressed or unhappy now. That big grin on his lips. A light blush on his cheeks from the rush of excitement. His eyes bright and sparkling with happiness. You grab his other wrist and guide his hand to rest on your middle. No signs of the life you are harbouring are there yet. But soon! Soon you’ll be getting rounder and heavier. There’s things to look forward too like the kicks your little one will give you. You get to watch Jiraiya go bananas over these things. He never kept his cool when it came to you. Ah man he was gonna absolutely freak! You can see him getting excited about the little things and give into all the new parent jitters. Talking to your big belly, pressing his ear against it and his focus so intense on whatever sounds that he may hear. Or him laying down with you, talking to the unborn infant and pressing kisses on your belly. And him being the big spoon, face nuzzled in your hair, body pressed firmly against yours, and hands protectively holding your middle.

Already, Jiraiya could feel his cheeks starting to hurt from smiling so much. Those muscles haven’t been used in a while. He stares at his hand on your abdomen, right above your womb. A baby... his baby... he’ll do anything to protect them. Both you and baby won’t leave his sight or care. He’d much rather give his life then ever see his family harmed. It’s all he’s got left in this world. He won’t let anyone else precious to him die.

“What would you want, my dear?” You interrupt his more somber thoughts. You put your hand over his. “A boy or a girl?”

“Hm...” he hums a laugh. “I don’t care either way. Whatever it is, I hope they take after you.”

“Don’t be silly! Any spawn of you will be your little mini me! I just hope they don’t do half the shit you did!”

Jiraiya looked slightly offended at your crude summery of his childhood. He wasn’t that bad! Okay, he stole shit for fun and underage drank. But come on! Who didn’t?

“But they’ll also be intelligent, funny, and devilishly charming.” You add with a laugh. “All the best qualities you have!”

“Oh? Sounds dangerous. Whatever shall the world do?” He asks in his flirtatious voice he kisses you. He moves his hands to squeeze your butt. Right now, you’ve never been hotter to him.

“I think it just might explode! The world is in for a shock when your kid hits the ground running.”

He laughs. “True! I think we’re in for one hell of a time!”

Slowly, the smile drops on Jiraiya’s face. It drops to barely a faint grin. It’s like he was accepting something. Something sad... and it dragged him down. He looks you up and down slowly. He took in a deep breath and let it out.

“I... I guess we have to go back to Konoha, don’t we?” He asked with a hint of bitter sadness.

You shake your head. “We don’t have to. I’m fine to stay on the road.”

“No... I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Jiraiya, nothing is going to happen. The two of us are more than capable to handle this by ourselves.”

Jiraiya doesn’t look so convinced. He’s grimacing like something bad was already happening. Anything could go wrong. He can’t handle it if something does happen to you. Your safety is his first priority. Out here on the road, traveling from land to land meant all kinds of danger. There’s enemies hunting his head, there’s general unfriendly strangers, nature can be a bitch sometimes, and half the time there’s no real shelter. If any of these things compromised your health or the baby’s he would never forgive himself.

But the village... it also puts him off. It holds so many memories. Too many bad ones. The death of his student still fresh in his mind. His home destroyed and people left tired and battered. It’s the whole reason he left. It was over a year ago but it still hurts! And what would they think? He left to abandon the responsibilities. As well as the staring and condolences. He can’t look them in the eyes. A part of him deep down knows they blame him. They would eat him up alive for showing back up with his pregnant wife. But, if you wanted it, he would do it. He’d face all the criticism and battery if it meant his family would be safe.

You know what he’s thinking. It’s not good for him. Jiraiya wasn’t in the best mental state already. The news of Minato’s death destroyed him. It still hurt him. It’s the type of pain that doesn’t heal, not fully anyways. You can still clearly recall his reaction when you delivered the news. The transition in his expression going from contentment to horror before settling on despair was a terrible thing to watch. For days afterwards he barely did anything. Most times you found him just.... blankly staring at the newly marked graves. He was stuck in a haze. It was hard to watch him like that. Going back to the village would only do him bad. You firmly hold both his hands on your belly. You squeeze his hands firmly. He was beginning to get that faded look in his eyes as he contemplated the option. 

“Everything will be just fine.” You assure him. “We don’t have to go back. We don’t ever have to go back if that’s what you want. I want you to be happy.”

“I just want you to be safe.” He looked away from your face and stared at your belly. Seeing his hands on it with yours holding them was comforting. His baby was in there after all.

“I think I’m more than able to take care of myself.” You half force a laugh. You don’t like seeing him so worried. It was mostly justified, but some of it was paranoia due to recent events. “And I know you’ll protect me.”

“I will. I won’t let anyone harm you.”

“Exactly!” You were a little overly enthusiastic. You lean forward and cling onto his neck. He held you before you pulled him off kilter. “I know that no one can touch me if I got my big scary papa bear with me!” You giggle and rise to your tippy toes to give him a peck. “Or is it papa toad?”

Jiraiya scoffs and cracks a bigger smile. “Papa is just fine!” He pokes his nose against yours. His crass nature comes back out as he sneaks a hand down to squeeze your butt again. “But that’s Daddy to you little girl!” 

You burst into a series of giggles. He joins you. Now there’s the Jiraiya you know and love! Dirty jokes and very hands on. He holds and kisses you. He picked you off of the ground and turns around. Jiraiya adds a cheeky spin before moving on down the path. He heads down to the inn, practically skipping with you in his arms. A new wave of familiar nausea took over. He had to set you down and you puked in the bushes before heading inside. But the morning sickness was worth it! You’re having a baby! 

You spend the day laying in bed with Jiraiya. Half laying on top of him. Your head on his chest. Your eyes closed. His hand is combing and playing with your hair. It’s quiet and peaceful. Occasionally, you’ll break the quiet with a question. He’d answer. But they began to die into hums as he became lost in his thoughts. You cuddle against him and decide to just enjoy the quiet company. There’s a lot to think about now.

The most important part? Jiraiya felt like his life wasn’t a waste of time anymore. He wasn’t dragging you down into his slow decent any longer. It was time to stop mourning, and time to focus on getting better. He lives for someone else now. Well... two people actually. You and his little one. The two most brightest things in his world.

Still weak and nauseous, you fall asleep quickly. Jiraiya stays awake for a while. He stares at the ceiling as he draws a safe path in his head. His eyes looking around the stucco as if it were a map, his gaze following an invisible route as he imagined what he’d do. One to Konoha, just in case. One to a few locations he knows. The safest being Mount Myōboku. Yes... that would work. The toads already love you. They would protect you. They would be alright with the surprise visit and childbirth. Some more thrilled than others. Maybe he could convince you to stay a year or so on the isolated mountain. Yeah... it’ll all work out. Don’t overthink it... it’ll only make it worse. Just think about the good. He shuts his eyes and steadies his nerves with a deep breath. It’s all about the good right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of probably like 3 or 4 depending if y’all want some like cute family chapters.


	14. Good News During Hard Times Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So you are overdue. You’re stuck in a pillow fort Jiraiya made for you. The baby is kicking your ribs out and I makes you very grumpy. Your husband seeks advice from his old mentor on how to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda wanted to do a like 6 or so month chapter but like.... it was just hella depressing and too short so we’re jumping right in to this. I’ll probably post a smut chapter by Friday. I’m trying to write one that isn’t sad af. Been in a mood, balancing some sad boi ones. We need some good old fashioned good times, especially during these dangerous days.

You are late. And grumpy about it. A week past due. You adjust yourself again. Holding your very large middle. You grunt and groan. It was now just uncomfortable. Too big. Too kicky. The little one was stubborn. Kicking up a storm about being in there but refusing to come out. It must be a little boy. The little guy taking after his father in knowing how to pester you. 

You don’t know the sex of your baby. The toads don’t exactly got an ultrasound machine. But the surprise was the one thing keeping you going. The thrill of not knowing! Jiraiya was with you on that one. But his opinion differed from yours. You are sure it’s a boy. It just has to be! A cute little boy that’ll grow too look just like his father. Wild white hair and a mischievous crooked smile. You’ve seen a picture of Jiraiya as a kid. It was so easy to imagine a little boy that’ll be his spitting image. Jiraiya was on the opposite side. He was leaning towards a girl. A little girl that just has to take after you. The world needs more beautiful things like you. He’d be much happier passing on your legacy than his. But... a good natured son sounded good too. To be completely honest, Jiraiya was worrying more now that he thought more about his childhood. It’s a good think his hair is naturally white, if his baby takes after him then he would have gone white from stress. How the hell did he make it to adulthood? Honestly! He’s half sure he should have died a handful of times from all the dumb shit he’s done. Hopefully his little one will be easy to handle.

“Ah fuck.” You curse as the baby kicked you in the ribs. Fuck. That shit.

Jiraiya frowns. You got a case of the crazies. And you’re uncomfortable. He hates seeing you in any sort of pain. He watches you from the other room. The door cracked so he can check on you. Lady Shima and Lord Fukasaku have been really great. The two old toads happy to take you and Jiraiya in. They went on and on about how proud they were of him.

“A wife and a baby on the way!” Shima laughed. She lightly hit him with the back of a wooden spoon in a joking way. “Oh how I worried about you boy! I’m so happy you have a family!”

He blushed and smiled. He’s excited about it too. He looked over to you, resting on the bundle of pillows that he may have pulled out frantically as soon as he got you here. He wants you to be comfortable. But it’s not really happening. The fun experience was now becoming sour as you were in almost constant agony.

“What can I do? How can I help her?” Jiraiya looked over at the sagely toad. Surly an older female like her will know what to do.

“That’s a hard one, my boy.” Shima tapped her chin thoughtfully. “There’s not much to do. Any medicine I can think of has side effects to pregnancy.” She laughs quietly to herself. “Unless you want to induce labor through the traditional methods!”

Jiraiya choked on his tea. He can feel his face heat up. D-Did Shima just imply he should fuck you? He covered his mouth as he had a coughing fit. She began to laugh at him. Almost in tears from his flustered reaction. You cry out in pain from the other room. He wipes his eyes. The coughing fit brought tears to his eyes from how hard it was. Shima patted his leg in an affectionate gesture. She motioned towards the bedroom.

“Maybe you should, my boy.” She gestured to the door. “I’ll go out. Pa could use some help gathering things for dinner. We’ll be just outside in case it happens.”

Never before has Jiraiya been so embarrassed. He didn’t really like having Shima talking about sex. It’s like having a grandmother tenderly caress his leg and ask him if he had any candy. The door shut behind the old toad. After a moment of looking at the door, then the glancing to you. He sighed. Fuck it. Then tossed his teacup away as he stumbled across the room.

“Uh...” You tilt your head as Jiraiya crashes into the room. “Hey honey, what’s up?”

He’s on his hands and knees. Staring at you with wide eyes and a heavy blush. He regains his composure and grins. “Hey baby~! How you doing?”

“I’m in false labor.” You groan. You cringe as another contraction attacked your body. It’s not enough to be considered real labor. It’s too far apart. 

“How far apart are they?”

You scoff. “I’m not having the baby, Jiraiya.” The baby is just fucking with you. It’s like a joke. A cruel joke from your baby.

“Can I help? I hate seeing my woman in pain.”

“What could you do?” You raise a brow.

He crawled towards you. He kissed you. He strokes your belly and moves on to go lower. It’s nice to have him so affectionate. Lately, Jiraiya has been avoiding you. Not that you can blame him. You’ve snapped at him several times over nothing. Then your hormones would flip like a coin toss and you’d start crying because he left. Feels bad. You don’t like being irrational. But he was understanding. Keeping his distance when you needed it and approaching to be very affectionate just in the nick of time. It was usually at night you wanted his attention. To have your husband curl up beside you and fall asleep with a hand on you kept you content. Usually your belly or hip. Something easy to grab in the dark.

“What are you doing?” You grab his hand as it went lower still.

“Hush, my love. Let me do my thing.”

“Not sure if I want to. I know what these hands can do.”

“And you love everything they do to you!”

You laugh. There’s that sense of humour again. Still so, you hold his hand. His fingers are massaging little circles into your skin. It felt good and those talented fingers are only a few inches away from their goal.

“I do love what they do. But...” you sigh and look away. “I’m not exactly sexy at the moment.”

“What? How could you say that?” Jiraiya scoffed at the idea. “You’re gorgeous!”

“Honey please! I’m bigger than whale and like everything his swollen. I’m in pain and like!” You poke your very large middle. “Look at this thing!”

“I like this thing!” He puts both hands on your pregnant belly. He took a seat between your legs and affectionately rubbed the area. “It’s got our kid in it! And soon this will all be over.” He put a kiss on it before continuing. “This is the worst part. The waiting. The wondering.” He smiling wistfully as he looks over your body. There’s certainly other things he misses as well. He can’t wait for you to get your figure back. Your boobs have already gotten bigger, which he was a big fan of. You however, bopped him on the forehead every time he made a “got milk” joke.

“I want it to be over. I just want to have this kid pop out already!” You complain with a frown.

That mischievous grin grew on Jiraiya’s face. His hands ran over your sides and to your back. He leaned in close and kissed you. “Let me help baby! I know a few tricks to get jr out!”

“Jr?” You question with a laugh. “I’m gonna have to say no to that one!”

“I’m not narcissistic enough to name my kid after me!” He snickered as well. Jiraiya jr had a terribly ring to it.

That you knew. The baby names on the table were all carefully selected. They meant something without referencing anybody. Early on, Jiraiya agreed with you that the baby shouldn’t be named after anyone. There was enough pressure on the kid already. Being the child of a Sannin had some expectations. Throwing on a legacy from a dead hero will only worsen that. Your baby deserves to live a life free of such tethers. Jiraiya would never pressure his son or daughter to grow as quickly as he did. But the world would. Should you even bring your child to Konoha? The thought of it felt scary. What would they say to them? How would they treat them?

You are brought out of your thoughts by the familiar foreplay of your husband. He stroked your sides and back. His lips kissed your jaw and neck. He moaned your name as his hand rounded over your tummy and moved back down.

“Ah!...” Your voice trailed off.

Jiraiya had reached under the folds of your kimono and got right to it. His fingers playing with you. You grab fistfuls of his shirt and keep him close to you. It’s been so long since he’s touched you. It felt amazing! It’s never felt this good before. Just as you got close, moaning his name and pulling on the collar of his shirt, an unfamiliar feeling flooded within you.

“Whoa!” Jiraiya moved his hand back and inspected. That’s not... oh! “I think your water broke.”

“What?!” You struggle to look over your bump. You can’t really do it. But there’s a cold and wet feeling all over your thighs. And it totally felt like you peed without any control. Which is gross but like, what can you do?

“Your water broke! You’re gonna go into labor!” The surprise wore off and was replaced with excitement. Jiraiya is grinning happily and he stares at your middle in wonder. “It’s happening! Baby is coming! I’ll go get Shima!” He’s a mix of calm and freaking out. A calm exterior but on the inside he’s absolutely going to throw up at some point he’s so nervous. It’s like he’s overdosing on caffeine. He suddenly had the energy to run around the mountain.

You grab Jiraiya before he could leave. He looks at you in confusion. He’s gotta go! You grit your teeth as a contraction squeezes your body’s nerves. You began to cry and nuzzle his arm. “Don’t go! I don’t think I can do this!”

The reality is crashing down. You’re going to be a mother. You have to take care of another living being. Well.. you already kinda take care of your husband. But he knows how to feed himself!... Sometimes. Most times. He can also change and go to bed without your help.... most times too. He can at least talk and tell you what’s wrong.... when he feels like it. God damn it Jiraiya you are a baby sometimes. A real baby can’t do these things. You gotta figure this out on your own.

Then again, you got your big baby to help you out. Jiraiya was doing what he could. But he’s still a big goof. He got slapped by a new mother at one point for accidentally implying he was going to take her baby. Long story, bad wording, high jinks ensued. You had to comfort him and his bright red cheek for a few hours. In the end, you got his back and he’s got yours. He’s happy to start all the baby stuff. Comforting his crying child at four am. Holding them and cooing at them as they stare in wonder at the giant man holding them. The sound of baby laughs is like the greatest thing in the world and he can’t wait to make his baby laugh.

Jiraiya hesitates. He kneels down beside you and began to pet your hair. He began to comfort you. “Where is this coming from? You were always so confident about this.” He smiles warmly and a small bemused laugh leaves him. “I was the one freaking out, remember?”

You nod. A few months ago, Jiraiya kept waking up at odd hours of the night. He was worried about being a father. He spared you the details, but he was having reoccurring nightmares. You stayed up with him and spoke gently about all the fun things he gets to do with his son or daughter. And that he was going to make an amazing father. He finally said something that revealed his anxieties.

“Is it selfish to have a baby... when I already walked away from one?” He whispered as that haunted look arose in his eyes. He turned to you with a plead for comfort.

You reached over and played with his hair. He likes the gentle attention. His tense expression relaxing as you twirl your fingers around locks of his hair. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Naruto... he’s... he’ll be alright. I think it was meant to be.” You force his head up so he has to look at you. “And you aren’t walking out on this one. Things will all turn out okay.”

He crawled closer to you and wrapped his arms around you. He nuzzled his head against your bump and felt instantly better. He’s been mostly okay after that conversation. Just generally happier and his smile wasn’t so rare to see anymore. The next day he came back with a little green onesie with a frog on it and began to gush over how small babies are and how he just had to buy this when he saw it in a shop window.

Now that onesie was laid out nearby, waiting to be put on. Can anything that small be so scary? Surly not. How cute will it be to see a little baby with sprigs of cloud white hair and black eyes in a light green onesie that had little cartoon frog heads on it? Adorable! Jiraiya kissed your forehead.

“Come on, babe! I’ll only be gone for a second.” Jiraiya spoke to you quietly. You whimpered during another contraction. He kissed you through it. Hushing you in a loving voice and wiping away any tears you shed. “I’ll get Shima and you know what’s gonna happen?”

“We’re going to have a baby?” You asked, almost unsure if that was the right answer.

He nods. “We’re having a baby.”

For some reason, the statement calmed you. It’s all going to be okay. You got a solid support system helping you. A great husband and a family of toads all there for you. You let him go. Holding his hand for as long as possible as he walks away. Your fingers slipping along his as he leaves the room.

“Hot damn! I knew you could do it boy!” Shima’s excited cry resounded a moment later. “Come on Pa we got some work to do!”

Two sage toads came bounding into your room with supplies. Essentials like water and towels. Jiraiya tailed them with red cheeks and embarrassment clear on his face. He sat back down beside you and gripped your hand. He stroked your hair away from your face and smiled. He kissed your head and held your gaze.

“Are you ready?” He asked.

“As I’ll ever be.” You squeeze his hand.

You braced for another wave of pain. It’s going to be a long afternoon. With the biggest payoff. The anticipation was building to the point of maddening! The next stage of life was just ahead. Only one question is bugging you. Boy or girl? Well... you’ll find out soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> muh hu ha ha ha! What do you think, dear reader? Boy to girl? I’m leaning towards typical Japanese names atm. Something cute and easy to type because I’m a chronic dumbass. But in future scenarios I’ll probably use video game characters as a name theme.


	15. Happy Anniversary!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a Naruto era chapter. One that is cute and fun! You’ve been married to Jiraiya for many years and he wants to celebrate in style! Fun times ensue.

You walked into hotel room. Oh wow... it’s nice. Big. Big comfy looking bed. An ensuite bathroom that had a a tub big enough to swim in. Big fluffy robes. Everything you could want in a temporary room. Much nicer than the little rooms you’ve been sharing with two boys. Although to be fair you are married to one of those boys. It would be nice to have a night away from Naruto. Not like you dislike the little rascal, but he slept like he was tumbling through a washing machine. Constantly tossing and turning. Making whuring noises. One time he made a clone in his sleep. Plus... it’s a special time of year. A night alone with Jiraiya was entirely called for. He agreed. But you never imagined he’d bust out the money to rent the penthouse of the hotel. With all inclusive mini bar and room service.

“Come on! Why do you guys get the nice room?” Naruto was complaining from the door.

“When you pay for your own room, then you can complain.” Jiraiya answered. He was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed as he spoke firmly. “We’re right down the hall if you really need anything.”

You put your arms around him from behind and you peek around him to look at the thirteen year old. “It’s not so bad is it Naruto? It is a whole room to yourself. No pervy adults around to bug you. Surly you could use a night alone?”

Your words are swaying Naruto. He blinks and grins as he realizes the opportunity to have some freedom again. “I guess it won’t be so bad.” He crosses his arms and raises a brow at you. “But why exactly do you two need to be alone?”

Jiraiya reacted first by laughing. He grabbed your hand and twirled you around so that you’re beside him. He held you close and put a kiss on your lips. “What’s today, dear?” He asked innocently. “Twenty? Twenty five years?”

“Twenty five.” You confirm. You hold the back of his neck to keep his head down, keeping him in place to continue to make out with him.

“Twenty five years married to you eh? Not bad!”

You giggle and rub your nose against his. Naruto sighed loudly enough to catch both yours and Jiraiya’s attention. He puffs his cheeks out and narrows his eyes.

“You guys are weird.” He settled on saying before turning to go to his room.

“Hey kiddo?” Jiraiya called with the door half closed. Naruto turned back around and gestures in question. The older man grins devilishly. “Do not disturb!”

Naruto stuck his tongue out before spinning back around and jogging away. Jiraiya hung the sign of the same phrase on the outside knob. He’ll call up room service once you and him have gotten to it. But for now, nobody better knock on that door. The sound of the water running gave away where you had run off to. He kicked his sandals off and undid the hair tie holding his ponytail up. He shook out his hair as he approached the bathroom.

Well damn! It’s spacious and all out of fine stone. Like granite or marble. There’s a stand up shower with a detachable shower head just begging to be used in naughty ways. A vanity with two sinks that had a big ass mirror on the whole wall. There’s a large circular bathtub big enough for four! Which is where you were. You are wrapped in one of the towels. It barely covered your ass. Your clothes folded on the countertop of the vanity. It was already getting steamy in the bathroom and it smelt really good. Like roses and orange peels. There’s candles in cups along the ledge, lit and burning softly. Bubbles are bursting along the water. You’re bent over with your hand in the water, testing the temperature. The towel leaving nothing to the imagination of what was between your legs. Nice.

You turn around. You smile at the sight of your husband. Jiraiya returns it and began to undress. You drop the towel and step into the bath. You lay back into the water. You watch as he takes off layer after layer. Until finally he’s naked and he joins you in the bath. It’s nice and warm. You are immediately pulled into his affections. Kisses and nips along your neck and chest. Jiraiya is eager to get started.

You stroke along his skin and hair. He’s still beautiful as the day he met him. Well, maybe he got a bit more broad in the shoulders. Not that it was a bad thing. It suited him. There was a time you fondly remember him putting on his kimono from when he was in his twenties. Only for it to rip along the back because he forced his shoulders down. He turned red. He insisted it would still fit. You died of laughter. But it was attractive. Your man is strong enough to tear his clothes off with a flex. It’d be nice if he did that to you. Him ripping off your clothes. He’s a bit of a softie when it comes to you. Unless it’s protecting you, then he’ll go through hell in back tearing down any enemy that crossed you. He’s done so in the past. He’ll continue to do so.

You slide into his lap. You run your hands down his chest. He holds your ass and is smiling. Gosh you are just so pretty. Practically unchanged, yet so different. All the years he’s known you have been fun. You are four years younger than him. Met you when you and him were kids and became interested when you both hit teens. Made it official at your eighteen and his twenty two. Just started to date during the war and you even waited for him when he decided to stay in the Land of Rain to take care of something. And you still agreed to marry him when he came back. The day he came home he surprised you with a ring. He couldn’t stand to be apart from you any longer and had to make you his. And you were always the support he needed. You were so excited when he shared any accomplishment with you. You held his hand and comforted him through the hard times. You would stay awake with him during countless nights just to talk. He was never alone, all thanks to you.

You are phenomenal in both looks and skills. You take after your mother in looks so no one put together who your father was unless they asked. Needless to say sensei was overjoyed that his daughter and student had hooked up. Thank goodness he was! Or else Jiraiya would have faced some hazing from dear old dad. Dating the Hokage’s daughter was one hell of a power move. Your younger brother was more critical, but warmed up by the time you married Jiraiya. Your sister was at least all for it. She was happy that you and her were on the same page of life... but she had a child.... and she died. Through it all, you had Jiraiya to rely on. He held you when you cried. He picked you up in big bear hugs whenever you needed him to. He did dumb things to make you laugh. He’s perfect. 

Slowly, you lower yourself onto his erection. You sigh and Jiraiya lovingly strokes your thighs up to your butt. You run your hands through his hair, pushing his long bangs away from his face. He’s so handsome. You kiss him. Holding his head in place as you do. A quiet moan comes from him as you began to move. Deliberately slow. Rising and falling while moving your hips back and forward. His eyes close and his lips are parted. His cheeks and nose have a pink flush to them. The back of his head hits the edge of the tub as he relaxes.

“You’re amazing!” Jiraiya spoke quietly. His tone of voice a little breathless.

“You are too!” You matched his volume.

A larger smile grows on his face. Jiraiya cracks open his eyes. His hands stokes up your sides. He gropes your boobs. He admires your figure and finally makes eye contact again. You massage his scalp.

“I love you.” He beat you to it. Your mouth just opening to say the same thing.

“I love you too.” You sink down and grind yourself against him.

“Ah fuck.”

Jiraiya gripped your breasts tighter. His head goes back further and he arched his back. He inhales sharply and holds it. You continue to go slow. It drives him crazy. He’s tense to his toes. He licks his lips and his breathing picks up. Heavy and quick. You adjust to interlock your fingers behind his neck. You move your hips more dramatically. A larger roll of your hips before you continue to give him the slow ride. You lean down to kiss him. Slow wet kisses that involves tongues. You go down to kiss his chin and the left side of his jaw. Then down his neck. You suck and bite his collarbone. All the while his hands move on. Dragging slowly down your back. He grips onto your hips. He pushes and pulls you to go a bit faster. You pay attention to his neck. Sucking on the side and kissing across his throat to pay attention to the other side. It vibrates slightly when he moans. You inhale sharply. Jiraiya gasps.

The way your walls contract around him was a bit of a pleasant surprise. Your orgasm snuck up on you. You hold on to him and press your body against his. Your hot breath against his neck and the breathy moans of pleasure are such a turn on. Jiraiya pushes his hips hard against yours while holding you down. He came and couldn’t be happier. This was just the first round of many!

You slide off of him after he relaxes. You take a seat across from him. You sink into the warm water. It helps with keeping your muscles warmed up and relaxed. The top of his knees pop out of the water as he relaxes into the water almost to his nose. His face looked a little funny from the optical illusion the water created, cutting the length of it in half and erasing his mouth.

It turned into silent enjoyment of each other’s company. Basking in the feeling of sex and relaxation. Occasionally, your foot would caress his leg and he’d smile before doing the same to you. He blew bubbles into the water to make you laugh. 

When the water got cold and your fingers wrinkly, Jiraiya pulled the plug. He was quick to get out and towel off. You follow at a more lax pace. He gave you a kiss before speaking.

“I’ll be in the bedroom!”

You roll your eyes. Where else would he go? You bid him a quick farewell. You quickly tend to the bathroom. Yes, they’re are maids and you are technically paying for that, but it’s rude to leave everything messy. You pick up Jiraiya’s towel that he oh so kindly left on the floor and put it properly on the towel rack. You blow out the candles and pick out some of the petals stuck by the tub drain. You put on one of the fluffy robes and joined your husband.

Jiraiya just finished on the hotel phone on the nightstand. Hanging it up as you entered. He too was in one of the robes. But it was tied lazily and half falling off one shoulder. At the sight of you he smiles and collapses onto the bed. He beckons you to join. You flop down next to him. Oh hell yeah. This is one big comfy bed. You stretch your arms above your head and you flex your toes.

“We should spring for the nice room more often!” You joke as you spread out on the spacious king size bed.

“Only if you plan on fucking all night.” Jiraiya grins. He pushes your hair out of your face. It was damp and messy from the bath. “Why else get the nice bed?”

“Because we’re old.”

He laughs. “Come on now! Fifty and forty six isn’t that old.”

“We’re older than most active shinobi.”

“That just adds to our cool factor. Aren’t we just the poster child for the perfect marriage?”

You snort and turn your head towards him. “It is nice to grow old with you.”

The smile on Jiraiya’s face turned from joking to sincerity. “I’m happy to grow old with you.”

“I’m happy too!” You lazily drag your hand along his face. He puts a quick kiss on your knuckles as they pass by. “I couldn’t imagine spending my life a different way.”

There’s polite knocking on the door. Jiraiya slowly gets up and makes his way to it. He opens it and has a quick discussion with who ever is on the other side. He pulls out a quick tip and an exchange happens. He insists and takes a bucket along with a silver tray. He shuts the door with his foot and comes trotting back to bed.

“That was quick! This place has great service.” Jiraiya chirped happily as he set the tray on the bed. He sets the frosty looking bucket on the ground and pulls out a bottle from it.

“What did you order?” You sit up. He holds his hand out to stop you from moving any further. You pause and stay where you are.

He slides the tray, which had a cover that hid the contents. He stops it right before it hit the pillows so it would sit perfectly between you and him. Then he hopped back into bed, careful to not completely shake the bottle in his hand.

“Twenty five years! We gotta celebrate in style!” He explained happily. 

Jiraiya turned the label of the bottle towards you and grinned. It’s champagne. Champagne that has been aging for twenty five years. What a thoughtful dork! He ain’t much of a wine guy, but made exceptions for things like this. He pulls the lid off the tray. It revealed a verity of fruits. Cut, prepared, and most of them were dipped in chocolate. Some were just dipped in sugar. They were plated to look like flowers. With rose petals garnishing the spaces in between. You wasted no time popping a sugary blueberry into your mouth. As you chew, you watch Jiraiya struggle with the cork on the champagne bottle. He placed the bottle between his thighs as he pushed the cork with his thumbs.

It popped! When it did the cork went flying. There was a crash as it shot against the ceiling and hit the light fixture. One of the lightbulbs popped open and went dim. Slowly, you lower your gaze back to your husband. He did the same. There was another heartbeat or silence. Then you and him began to laugh.

“Oops!” Jiraiya laughed, his cheeks turning pink from embarrassment.

“Did you break the glass?” You ask. You tilt your head to get a better angle of the ceiling fixture.

“Nah! It bounced and just got the bulb.” He tilts his head and leaned to the side to inspect as well... just to make sure. He can make out the dark shadow of the cork resting in the bowl of the light fixture. That’ll be an interesting conversation to have with the front desk.

“Good job, Mr. Smooth Operator.” You lightly punch his arm in a joking way.

“I do my best to impress!” Jiraiya put his hand to his chest as he referred to himself. He looks around in search of something. “Aw Damn it! They forgot the glasses!”

You shake your head and grab the bottle. You put the ledge to your lips and took a swig. “A small avoidable problem.” You offer him the bottle.

He takes it and follows your lead. Tilting it fully back to give it a chug. It’s sweet and bubbly. And it felt wrong after the amount he paid for the thing. Like come on! Why is this kinda gross shit so expensive? And he can’t even drink it out of the stupid fancy glasses! But he ain’t about to waste a drop of it. It was over a hundred dollars. You and him take turns passing the bottle. The snacks paired well with it. 

Of course, it got started up again. As you fed Jiraiya a particularly juicy strawberry, some of the juice ran down the palm of your hand. He grabbed your wrist and ran his tongue along the trail it made, catching the sticky juice off your skin. It was wet and a little messy. He ate the rest in a bite that nipped the tip of your fingers. He then licked up any remnants of strawberry from you. It was nice feeling his tongue lick between your fingers. He left almost nothing untouched and it got you remembering all the times that tongue was between other things on your body. He rolled and pinned you underneath him. He smirked and pulled open your robe.

“I get to be on top this time!” He cheered with a cheeky smile.

“Only if you can keep up, you dinosaur!”

Jiraiya laughs. Oh you sassy thing. He tossed off his robe and got to it. He grabs your ankles and pulled. You squeal as you slide down the bed. He splits your legs apart. He smiles at the sight. You look so good like this. Your eyes glancing at his hard on before back to his eyes. The spread eagle position was such a turn on. Your spread open legs created a perfect line to stare at the prize between your thighs.

“Do I have to beg?” You joke.

He shakes his head. “No sorry. Sometimes I have to take in how pretty you are.”

Aw. You smile and lift your hips to help. You can just reach his knees. You stroke them. “You’re pretty too, hubby. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to have you.”

“Yeah,” Jiraiya nods his head, “you are pretty lucky.”

Oh gosh. Fucking dork. Jiraiya chuckles from your raised brow and sarcastic smirk. It turns into an o face as you gasp when he thrusts all the way in. His cock buried back in where it feels best. He lowers his hands to behind your knees. He holds you there, your ass just hovering above the bed. You moan as he began to fuck you. You encourage your husband in just the way he likes.

“Jiraiya! Yes! Oh yes!” You cry out. You arch your back as you coax him. You run your hands up and down your body. You squeeze a breast while your other hand feels the plump skin around your entrance. You could feel the width of his dick as it stretched your insides and gently tugged on your skin. “Harder baby! I want to scream!”

“Whatever you say, beautiful!” He can’t help but agree. He loves every single little thing about this.

Jiraiya leans over you and hooks an arm under your lower back. He guides your leg to wrap tightly around his body with your heel digging into his back. His face by yours now. The tips of his hair is tickling your skin. You reach out and grab onto his shoulders. You hold on tightly as Jiraiya fucks you harder. Your whole body moves with the motions. He helps you move with him in a matching pace. His hands practically white knuckled as he clings onto your waist and ass. He pulled you in as he thrusted so it goes as deeply as possible. You never break eye contact. Staring into his excited eyes as you pant with him. Sweat rolls off his skin and mixes with yours. His throat bobs as he swallows a mouthful of saliva.

“I love you.” Jiraiya’s voice was husky. He spoke between his heavy breathing.

“I love you too!” You are breathless.

He closed the distance and pressed his lips against yours. He tastes like champagne and strawberries. His spit is sticky and thick from the sugar. Like strawberry syrup. You relish the taste as your tongue plays with his. Your grip tightens and your body is going stiff. You moan into his mouth as you press your body against his. Knots are tightening in your muscles almost enough to cause a spasm.

“J-Jiraiya!” You broke the kiss just to call his name before he locked them again.

Oh yes, his favourite part. Jiraiya bites your bottom lip. He loves hearing you in all your glory. He breaks the kiss and settles for resting his face against your neck. His ear by your mouth so he can hear everything. Your desperate pants. The moans and mewls as you get closer and closer. The way you say his name over and over. He naturally pants with you as to encourage you on. Your breaths getting shorter and shorter.

“Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!” Your breath blows against his ear as you cry. He grits his teeth as your nails bury into his back. “Ha-!” Your breath hitches in the middle of your moan.

A flood washed over you. Jiraiya groans as your nails drag down his back. You cry his name again as you cum. He slows down. Rolling his hips to grind into you so you can relish in it for as long as possible. Your sweaty mess when it’s done. Collapsing onto the sheets. You need air. Your chest heaves as you breathe. Jiraiya waits for you. He adjusts to his hands and knees. Just relaxing above you. He’s smiling. A quick breather is exactly what he needs too. You recover after a moment and regain your composure.

“Fuck me, you beautiful bastard. We aren’t done!” You smile and flex your thighs again his hips.

Jiraiya exhales a breathy laugh. He grabs the back of your legs and forces your knees to your chest. “We really aren’t. Even after this. We have all night to celebrate!”

“Yes we do-o!” You Are forced to stammer as Jiraiya began to thrust again. He just grins at your reaction.

You take it all over again. Crying out in pleasure as your husband does you right. He was keen on staying on top. You look hot writhing underneath him anyways. The sheets becoming disheveled as you claw at them. The exquisite way your breasts bounce as your body is forced to rock with the motions. You throw your head back and really use your vocal chords. The whole hotel probably knows exactly what’s happening just from you alone. Good! Very good! The idea of this whole place hearing this is such a turn on. Jiraiya smirks at the idea of the whole building falling silent to tune in. You stiffen and your muscles shake two more times before he finishes. Moaning your name as he does so and bruising your ass with a hard hitting thrust that sends ripples up your spine.

Jiraiya rolls off you once it’s finished. He laughs and kisses down the length of your neck before pulling back. You tuck yourself under the covers and cuddle up to him. You are just as wired as he is. Not tired, but content to bask in the afterglow. A recovery period before diving back in.

“What now?” You ask.

“Oh? I think you know.” He giggles like a giddy school girl.

“Again? We just finished!”

He caressed your face and kissed you passionately. “You know me, baby!” He giggled before kissing your lips and cheeks in quick little pecks. “I am absolutely insatiable!” 

You giggle before kissing him again. You pause. A low grumble from your stomach interrupted your thoughts. You make a bit of a pout as you confess something. “I’m hungry.”

Jiraiya nods slowly. “Yeah. The fruit ain’t really cutting it.” There’s a pit developing in his stomach. He needs a pick me up just as much you do. At least the fruit was an excuse to lick you! He rolls to face the nightstand on his side of the bed. His back to you. He picked up the phone again and called for room service. “I’m thinking something more heavy.”

In the position he’s in now, you could see the marks you left on his back. Faint red lines from dragging your nails down his skin. Jiraiya often tells you he doesn’t mind. He bears them with pride. He shows them off sometimes. He’ll put his hair up just to show off that not only is he taken, but he fucks them so good that they leave marks. You wrap your arm around to his front and kiss shoulder. You look over it to watch him. You draw circles into chest as you read over the little piece of laminated paper in his hand. It had a list of food options on it.

“Mmm... Ice cream sounds good.” You voice your opinion.

“With or without the brownie?”

“The fuck kind of question is that?”

Jiraiya snorts a laugh before speaking into the receiver. “Two ice cream sundaes with the brownie to room one thirty five.”

You kiss his shoulder a few more times before he rolled over. He held you against him as he kissed you. His body firmly pressed against yours. His hand runs up and down your thigh as it rests over his hip. He keeps you there until there’s a knock on the door. Jiraiya regretfully pulls away. He puts the robe back on but barely ties it to cover himself. The more uncomfortable the person delivering the food is, the quicker he can get back to bed.

It was an uncomfortable exchange. Jiraiya stood proudly almost completely nude as the room service lad was so red. He tipped the poor boy well for busting his balls a little before taking the order into the room. Jiraiya handed you a cold bowl of delicious ice cream.

You cheer your bowl against his before tucking in. It’s vanilla with hot fudge on top. There’s caramel drizzle and sprinkles. A big slice of warm brownie was stuck in between the scoops and a piece of waffle cone stabbed in the side to top it off. It’s so simple, yet so perfect. 

Jiraiya switched on the tv in front of the bed. He flips through a few channels before picking something easy to watch. This was one of the best things in life. Laying in a big comfy bed. Eating junk food. Laying next to someone you love while watching something completely mind numbing. All while you think about the next round of sex. You rest your head against Jiraiya’s shoulder as you barely pay attention to the tv. You take slow spoonfuls of your melting sundae into your mouth. He finished his first, but kept the bowl in his hands. Absently holding it as his mind was clearly elsewhere. That or he’s planning something.

The second you put your bowl on the nightstand, Jiraiya sprung into action. He ripped the blankets off of you. You stare at him in confusion as he holds his bowl above you. He tips it and a stream of melted ice cream, chocolate sauce, and caramel poured all over you. It’s cold! He pours it over your tits and down your belly. You hold your legs together as he pours a good amount over your pelvis.

“Jiraiya! It’s gonna get on the sheets!” You scold him. You keep your thighs clenched to avoid a mess.

“They gotta wash them anyways!” He argues. He grabs your leg and pulls on it. He licks his lips when you give in. The mix of sticky fluids dripping over your sex. “I’m still hungry! Aren’t you?”

It’s an interesting sensation. It’s cold. But it’s pleasant. It feels good as it trails down your curves. And the way Jiraiya is looking at you! The bloody perv was so excited to see you like this. Covered in toppings like you’re a second serving of ice cream! He slides his hand against your slit and pushes a finger in.

“A little bit of syrup to go with my pie sounds like a good change!” He continues to tease you. He kisses you before continuing. “I’ll lick it all off! Every inch of you. Don’t worry about the sheets!”

He rubs the mixture over your skin, playing with you while kissing you. A high pitched moan leaves you as he thrusts his finger in and out of you.

“All night! Remember?” Jiraiya whispered against your lips.

You grip onto his hair at the nape of his neck and kiss him. “All night.” You agree in the same hushed tone.

“Happy anniversary, my love.”

“And to many more!”

Jiraiya smiles before continuing. Yes! To many many more! Each one better than the last! He began to lick over your very flavourful skin. As he does, he schemes on what he’ll do next year. Plenty of ideas come to mind~!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya later shrieked in surprise when he stepped in the ice cold water of the wine bucket because he forgot he put it on the floor. He then got immediate revenge on you laughing at him by tossing the water on you. Ah the bonds of marriage certainly are special.
> 
> Now I’m kinda playing with the idea of like a cute gift exchange kind of chapter but idk if it’s worth investing.  
> Also! If you got suggestions for chapters please comment them! I love engaging with you beautiful readers and truly appreciate you sticking around to read my stuff!


	16. Drunken Close Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mad and drunk, Jiraiya almost cheats on you. Just a dose of angst with some happy endings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a request from a lovely reader. Forgot to ask if you wanted to be mentioned by name. Hmu if you want to be and I’ll add you boo boo.

The cup made a quiet clink when Jiraiya set it down. He ordered another and span the heavy bottom cup by the rim like a top. He’s bouncing his leg impatiently. His mind is racing and so is his heart. He feels terrible but is too stubborn to go back. It’s your fault too! You started it! You were so nasty! Saying such horrible things as he returned just as nasty insults. He keeps replaying the argument in his head. But it never changes no matter how he tries to think if he said something else. If anything it would have made it worse. He never raised his voice to you before. But he did today. His throat hurt. A tingling sensation in the very back of it like he was sick.

Nothing had ever made him so mad. His body is tense and his blood is coursing like he’s going to go into a fight. Jiraiya can’t really remember the last time he got in a verbal argument. Maybe when he was a kid. Or a few debates as a young man, but nothing like this. Not one where it had no winners. Where he got so angry. Enough to clench his fists to white knuckled. He slammed the door behind him after rushing out. It rattled the whole frame of the house. He had to go. Before he did something he regretted. The awful thought crossed his mind for only a second and that was enough. He had to get away to cool off.

His refill was placed in front of him. It didn’t feel good. All of it. Yelling at you. Getting mad at you. Storming out and running to a bar. And this is where he’s been for at least an hour or so. Jiraiya can drink. He put away at least a bottle by now. He’s getting properly hammered at this point. It’s probably the worst way to deal with his feelings. But he’s frustrated and upset. The only person that he knows how to talk about these things with is you. He can’t exactly go cuddle you until he feels better. He doesn’t want to cause another fight. The reason for the fight was his drinking. Well... one of the reasons. Many of his flaws were dragged into the fight. Each one felt like a slap to the face. He cringed before finishing his new drink in one gulp. It tastes bitter.

“Hey honey. What’s got you down?”

Jiraiya turned his attention to his right. Where the woman who had called his attention was sat. She was sitting backwards in the bar stool. She’s sitting rather provocatively. Her elbow on the counter as her back is arched, forcing her chest out. She has one leg crossed over the other and it’s bouncing to a slow beat. Her low cut dress complimented her figure. A classic hourglass type. Her face pretty. Fair skin, freckles, button nose and perfect heart shaped lips. Her emerald eyes looking him up and down as she twirls a section of her silky auburn hair around her finger. And she must like what she sees. She smiles at him expectingly.

“Nothing... nothings got me down.” Jiraiya sat up straight. He cleared his throat and smiled at her. Attention from a pretty girl will always lift his spirits. “Now that you’re here!”

“Is that so? I must say, I’m flattered.” She laughed. She moves her hair out of the way of her neck. She smiles when he looks over it and bites his lip. “What else could I do to make you happy?”

“How about your name?”

“Do I really?” The pretty woman put her hand on his thigh and squeezed. She leaned in and spoke in a low tone of voice. “I’m just looking for a good time. No questions. No names. No strings attached. Are you in or out, handsome?”

He stares at her for a long time, processing the question through his drunken haze. Oh. Oh my. Why not? It’s rare he gets a one nighter. And such a looker this woman is! “Yes. Yes I’m in.”

She smiles and stands up. “Follow me, sweetie. I know a place.”

Jiraiya almost fell out of the chair. He stumbled a little. Yes... he’s properly drunk. The woman giggled and grabbed his hand. She guided him away to a quiet spot, towards the bathrooms of the bar. As he followed, Jiraiya began to realize what he was doing. With each step, his smile dropped. His heart sunk further and further to his feet. Guilt and nerves fluttered around his stomach.

Just... what is he doing? To you? To himself? You are the greatest thing he’s got going at the moment. A woman who loves him despite it all. You’re beautiful. You’re everything he could ever want. He can’t lose you. Not like this. He won’t be able to live with himself if he cheated on you. To betray you in such a horrible way right after the wake of a fight. It’s unforgivable! He felt nauseous at the thought. Honestly, he’s not even mad at you anymore. He pulled his hand away and stopped in his tracks. This isn’t right. The woman he was following stopped and turned around.

“What’s up? Did you forget something?” She asked.

“I’m sorry.” Jiraiya took a few steps back. He raised his hands in front of him and spoke to her again. “I’m sorry I can’t do this.”

“You nervous, honey?” She approached him with a smile. She put her hands on his chest and pressed her body against his. “Don’t worry~! I’ll make you very comfortable.” She bit her bottom lip. She squeezed his pecks. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

He grabbed her wrists and pushed her away. “Sorry. This was a mistake. I have a girlfriend.”

The woman paused. Her flirty expression only grew. A smirk took her lips as she leaned in.

“She doesn’t have to know. I won’t say a thing if you don’t.”

“I’m telling you no.” Jiraiya spoke more firmly.

He pushed her back a little bit further while letting go of her wrists. She stumbled back and looked at him annoyed. He turned and left. That was enough to scorn the woman. As she stomped after him to the door. Thankfully she stopped there. She berated him, yelling insults as he walked down the street.

“Pussy! What’s wrong? Can’t get it up?” She was loud enough to catch the attention of the people walking down the street. “Yeah! Go ahead! Keep walking! Go home to that slut of yours!”

Jiraiya paused. He inhales deeply and holds it. Just let it go. Don’t give her the attention she wants. Ignore all the people staring. He lets out the breath feeling calmer. He kept walking. He has to get home. He needs to see you. He’s filled with the overwhelming urge to tell you he loves you. He hopes you’ll forgive him for being the world’s biggest ass.

The front door opens. At least you didn’t lock him out. He only left with his wallet. It’s quiet. Everything is as it was when he left. Half the lights are off. The house is a mess. The dinner you made was still sitting out on the table. It’s long cold now with the glasses of wine were still spilled and the dark red liquid they held was still dripping onto the floor. Yeah... it started in the middle of dinner.

“Babe? You still home?” He asked loudly.

There’s no answer. Jiraiya makes his way to the bedroom. As he approaches, he finally hears it. The quiet sounds of crying. You’re crying. He made you cry. Guilt crawled up his back. He hates that he made you cry. He quietly opens the door to the bedroom to see you curled up under the blankets. You are clutching his pillow and crying into it. He sat down on the edge of the bed by your feet. He won’t get close unless you ask. Still so, he touches your ankle for some sort of touch. It’s through the blanket. It’s like the layer of fabric was keeping you from him. Like a thick protective bubble meant to keep him out. Never before have you felt so close yet so far away. You quiet down to sniffles. You’re listening.

“I’m sorry. For everything I said.” Jiraiya spoke quietly. “And everything I did.”

He moves his hand up to your calf. You still feel so far away. You don’t say anything. You’re laying quietly on your side, still clutching onto the pillow he sleeps on. It smells like him.

“I shouldn’t have walked out either. There’s.... so much I shouldn’t have done.” He continues his apology. He wants to see your face but you are hiding it under the blankets. He gently squeezes your leg before getting up. “I love you... more than anything. But I understand if you want to...” He pauses as the next words feel like bile on his tongue. “To break up.” He slowly left the room after several seconds of silence.

You stayed awake for a few hours. The quiet sounds of dishes clinking together and the water running sounded for the whole time. It faded and the lights clicked off. But the door didn’t move again. Not the bedroom door and not the front door. Where did Jiraiya go? You got up and went to check.

The whole place was dark now. It’s deep into the night at this point. It won’t be long until dawn. Your steps are light and quiet. Oh... it’s clean. Jiraiya cleaned up everything. The plates, the wine, the floor. Everything was wiped down. You smile. How sweet.

A sudden snore gave you a startle. You turn around. Jiraiya was asleep on the couch. He had one leg up on the back cushion and the other was bent over the side. He had one arm over his eyes. His mouth is hanging open as he snores. He always snores when he drinks. Just one of those things. Not that you can blame him. You were just as horrible as he was during the argument.

The whole time he was gone, it felt like a hole was punched through your chest. You love Jiraiya. It felt like you lost him forever when he left. You weren’t sure if he was coming back. You don’t want to lose him. This was the first real argument you’ve ever had with him. And it blew out of proportions. You brought in things that didn’t matter just to make him feel bad. It was horrible and wrong. The hurt on his face when you yelled at him was awful. You caused that and it didn’t feel good. Arguing sucks.

You crawl over top of him. You rest your head on his chest. You wrap your arms around him and hold on tightly. His steady heartbeat against your ear was already beginning to comfort you. Jiraiya reacted to the sudden weight on his body. His hands touch your back. They were hesitant to fully wrap around you.

“I’m sorry too. I love you.” You whisper.

The security of his tight embrace was his answer. His arms pinning you tightly against him in a big hug. You felt his lips gently press on top of your head. It was an instant wave of relief. It’s so comforting to be in his arms again. It almost feels like years since he’s held you.

“I love you too.” Jiraiya said happily.

He squeezed you against him before relaxing. You share a few kisses with him. He’s happy to give them back. He moved his hands down and gave your ass a squeeze. He grinned at your small jump of surprise. A giggle leaves you. That’s the man you know and love! You snake your hands out from under him and put them in his hair instead. You play with it and stroke his messy locks away from his face as you continue to peck him with kisses.

The giddy display of affection continued until the first signs of dawn. Kissing and groping met with giggles and flirty coos. It’s the little moments like this. Where all the worries you have instantly melt when you’re with him. Jiraiya falls asleep first. He didn’t want to. But his heavy eyes shut beyond his control and he barely managed to react to your smooches before switching off. His head hitting the arm rest again and he began snoring. You settle with your forehead against the side of his neck. You shut your eyes and happily go to sleep. Never again. You won’t ever fight with him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on some other angsty stuff because it’s good for the soul. :) suffer well.


	17. Good News During Hard Times Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been only a few hours since you gave birth, and Jiraiya is absolutely mesmerized by his new child. This is but a small moment of new parent life.

All of it was so... stunning. Like getting slapped in the forehead unexpectedly. To some, this was probably the worst outcome ever. Jiraiya was a father. He’s a parent. Heh, even now it sounds weird. Baby. He has a baby. A daughter. A little baby girl. She’s perfect in every way and he never knew he could love something so much. Hayami... that was the winning name so far. It meant rare beauty. What else could fit his beautiful daughter? She’s so perfect he can’t deal.

She took so long to get here. And now that she was here, he was absolutely stunned. All he wants to do is touch her but he’s scared to. Babies are so fragile. She can’t even hold her head up! How can he be expected to hold such a little thing? A fierce feeling of protectiveness overtook Jiraiya. Just as a sudden grim thought passed his mind. None shall harm her. Even if she is fragile, she has her father to protect her. No one will dare mess with his kid if they want to live. That goes for you as well. No one will live if they harm his family. He’d go to great lengths to protect them. It’s the best thing in his life, he can’t and won’t lose them. His heart couldn’t take it.

Speaking of you, Jiraiya looks over to the other side of the room. You are still asleep. Shifting only slightly in your kingdom of pillows before settling back down. You really are amazing. Squeezing out a kid was hell on the body. You took it like a champ. You endured hours of pain. Hours of clutching onto your husband and begging for it to end. You almost gave up. You clung onto Jiraiya and cried. You only wanted it to end and if he wasn’t there you would have been in a much worse place. It was all new and scary. He was the calmness you needed. He told you that it was going to be alright. He told you that over and over. He never wavered. No matter how hard to squeezed his hand or cursed at him. He took it all with a smile, because he knew you didn’t mean it. Labor is just one cruel bitch. Such an overwhelming sense of relief washed over you when the cries of a newborn finally filled the room. And the announcement filled you with joy.

“It’s a girl!” Jiraiya practically screamed he was so excited. His whole face was lit up with joy. It’s an expression you haven’t seen on him in years. He held you closely as the baby was handed to you. “Look at her....” He gently felt her cheek. “She’s beautiful.”

You were a mess. You cried, but couldn’t stop smiling. And there was that magical moment where your baby stopped her crying and just stared at you. She has big black eyes. Just like her father. They look so curious. Locked in a staring match with you. You couldn’t look away. You felt a kiss pressed to the top of your head. The secure arm of your husband braced under yours and helped you handle the weight of the baby. You held her for what felt like an eternity. You were caught in an endless moment in time. Your newborn on your chest. Your husband holding you tightly. It was the start of your perfect family.

Little coos brought his attention back to his baby. Jiraiya focused back on Hayami. He smiled. He couldn’t help but smile whenever he looked at her. He had to put the onesie on her as soon as he could and it was the greatest thing in the world. She was stirring from her rest. Her face twisted in a cringe and she began to cry. Her limbs wiggled about as her cries gained in volume. Oh. Okay! It’s okay! Ever so gently, Jiraiya scooped her up. His brows in a tense furrow as he focused. It looked more like he was defusing a bomb than picking up his baby. But he’s only ever held a baby like once before. It’s harder than it looks! He supported her head with one hand and her back with the other. Baby cries are precious but also the most heartbreaking sounds in the world. The weak ‘wahs’ she made made his heart hurt. Now he really understands why parents work so hard to comfort their children. He rocked her up and down. It was probably futile, but he tried to hush her with quiet words of comfort.

“Come on, kiddo. You’ll wake your mom up.” Jiraiya somewhat whined to his baby. You had just fallen asleep.

It seemed to calm her for a moment. She quieted down at the new sound. The sound of her father’s voice. It’s a little foreign. It’s deep and pleasant. It doesn’t keep her quiet for long as she began to wail to the best of her ability. It’s loud enough to rise you from sleep.

You rise like the dead, sitting up slowly and almost robotic as the only thing that moves if your upper half. You already have your arms outstretched ready to take her. Your hair is a mess and you don’t even have your eyes open yet. Muttered and slurred from being half asleep, you demand to know where your baby is.

“I got her, dear.” Jiraiya told you. He looked you up and down. He does smile a little. It’s kinda funny to see you like this. You’re usually put together quite nicely. But now you’re a mess. Not that he can blame you. You had a baby after all. You’re his wife, he’s seen you in all kinds of states and he can’t help love it.

“Give her to me. She’s probably hungry.” You motion your hands towards you.

“Alright.”

He very carefully drops Hayami off into your awaiting arms. You smile and cradle her against your breast. Now for the interesting part. You ain’t sure how this is done. Wow... at least she knew. Hayami latched and got right to it.

“Whoa. This feels weird.” You spoke your mind on the matter.

“Oh?” Jiraiya asked. He sunk down beside you and stretched. He snuck his arm around your back and settled into the pillows. “Weirder then when I suck on them?”

“Jiraiya! Inappropriate.” You scolded him.

He just laughed before shutting his eyes. He kept shifting as he tried to get comfortable. It was hard. He wants to rest but he’s also very excited and his brain won’t shut off. His hand mindlessly stroked your side as he simply rested his eyes. You lean against him as you pay attention to your baby. She’s feeding well. Thank goodness. So far, Hayami was a very chill baby. A very cute one too. She was going to grow up to be a very pretty girl version of her father. That much was easy to tell already. Her dark eyes were watching you, sparkly and curious. Her nose is of a similar shape to his. She has these very fine short white hairs on her head. It seems Jiraiya’s genes dominated the pool. Which was fine. It’ll be quite cute to see him with his little clone of a daughter.

Can’t you just see a little girl with bright white hair that stuck out in every direction smiling the same ‘I’m totally innocent’ smile as her father? They would both beam at you in the same way whilst having something behind their backs as they are clearly hoping their charming smile will make you forget to ask what they are doing. And he would get her into trouble. Jiraiya was going to be the fun parent. That was pretty much set in the stars given his personality. The one that encouraged his children to disobey in a harmless way. To break a rule and have fun under his supervision. Most fathers were like that. But it would suck to be the rule enforcer, as most mothers are. Hopefully Hayami won’t have a taste for trouble like her father did. But a bit of rebellion won’t be so bad. A kid gotta live while life was still about games and fun. Jiraiya did so with his team when he first got them. He turned a blind eye when his youngsters pulled pranks. He probably helped on most occasions. He wanted them to have a bit of fun before reality set in. Even if it was small, it was a noble act and his team learned to appreciate it. Isn’t life supposed to be a bit childish and fun sometimes?

“Do you think she’ll have markings like yours?” The thought crossed your mind. 

“Hm... The ones on my face?” Jiraiya asked. He cracked an eye open to look at the baby in your arms, her eyes currently free of any red lines. He didn’t see his until he was about four.

“No, the ones on your ass.”

He snorted in amusement. Even sleep deprived your sarcasm will round the corner when he least expects.

“Who knows. She’ll be cute either way.” He answers with a half shrug.

That’s true. But it would be extra perfect if she had her father’s markings. Those iconic red lines that ran down her cheeks and curved when she grinned. Hm... perhaps you should get her a set of haori hakama that compliments her father. Maybe in yellow and pink. Or black and crimson. Now that would be great. The great toad sage and his daughter. Both posing in the same way and playing the same speech. Her loose clothing catching the wind as she span. Where she would flip her long white hair, stick her hand out in front of her, and hop on one foot as he introduced herself in the same over the top way her father does.

That was still many years away. The future held many good things. But for now, it was best to enjoy the challenges of a baby. It’s time to take it day by day. Hayami finished up and you set her on your shoulder to gently rub her back.

Once you were sure she was okay and wiped up any spit up, you cradle her back against your chest. You yawned. Gosh this new parent thing is exhausting. You sink down into the pillow pile and cuddle up to Jiraiya. He was more than happy to pull you closer against him. To your surprise, he actually took Hayami from you. You let him. He needs to get comfortable with holding her and bonding with her. The fucking dork went completely tense the first time he held her. But the tension faded when he made eye contact with her. The sense of strangeness faded as Hayami was stuck staring at him just as intensely as he was staring at her. She knew exactly who he was and it made him smile. He tugged on the folds of his kosode and wrapped it around his daughter. She made a small noise but was content to drift back to sleep against him. His warmth, heartbeat, and vibrations from his voice helped her sleep.

“Is that how we’re going to travel?” You ask. You stroke Hayami’s soft head. “It’s cute to see her all snuggled up against your chest.”

“We aren’t traveling for a while.” Jiraiya reminded you. “You need to recover.”

And he needs to protect you. He’s still rather anxious about this whole baby thing. At least here on the mountain he had more control over things while he figured out how to dad. No enemies. Nothing to fear. He looks down. It is very cute to see his baby snoozing against his chest. He wouldn’t mind traveling around with a baby tucked snuggly against him. The only thing visible under his kosode being an ear poking out. At least he knows they’re safe. Hm... maybe the next one. But not now. That too is many years away.

“I know. But it’s not like we’re staying here for years.” You pause and look at him. “Right?”

“A year at the most isn’t asking a lot, is it?”

“No. I guess not.” You agree. It would be nice to have a break from all the traveling. Especially now that you had to figure out how to mom.

It’s safe here. Raising a baby on the mountain can’t be so bad. There’s an army of over protective toads and one giant over protective man ready to guard you and Hayami. Jiraiya perks his lips to ask for a kiss. You peck him with a quick one. He yawned right afterwards. His yawn made you yawn. You wrap an arm around his torso and cuddle into his side. You rest your head on his shoulder and you could watch your baby from this angle. Her face was turned to the side and her big chubby cheek was squished against Jiraiya’s chest. He slowly rubbed her back and head to help lull her into a deep sleep. His head tilts and rests on top of yours. It’s peaceful, for now. It’s time to enjoy these little moments and look forward to the future. Soon you’ll get to see exactly the type of person your daughter will grow to be. And with the influence of her father, she’ll turn out great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small dose of comfy vibes. For real tho I feel this man will raise a new level of hell if anyone he loves dearly was put in harms way. Perhaps a story is in there somewhere. But if anyone got some fun family times in mind, please recommend because there’s so much to write about when it comes to children. But I’ll probably post something with this particular storyline with an older little bean.


	18. The Eyes Have It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You recently lost your eyes to a cruel enemy. Your family turned their backs on you. All you have left is your boyfriend, Jiraiya. He happily takes you in and he’ll happily show you how much you mean to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of bodily harm like eye removal. Warning if you ain’t into biting or food play. Nothing too crazy just ice cubes.

It’s dark. It’s always dark now. Your nose hurt and so did your toes. You slammed into a wall and accidentally kicked the table. You’re recently blind and still adjusting. It sucks! Once not so long ago, you were a force to be reckoned with. Like the rest of your clan, you had your Byakugan. Those special eyes giving you the ability to see like no one else outside your kin could. You fought with style and grace. And while you aren’t the strongest in your clan, you were valued. You trained hard and worked your ass off for the approval of the clan head. You’re a branch member and are considered lesser.

A month ago, a mission went badly. An enemy ninja held you down as one stuck a knife into your eye socket. They popped your eyes out and took them away. It was out of desperation. They had to know it. The well protected secret of your clan’s visual jutsu was now in jeopardy. It’s all your clan cared about. Not your well being or trauma, but they worried about what you had done. Yes... they blame you. You couldn’t even cry. You just had to sit there and listen to the clan head tell you that you are officially banished.

“You have no place among us. You have no worth as a Hyūga.”

The words burned into your brain. It echoed around in your head. It made you feel useless. The only person you had left was your boyfriend. Jiraiya was a good partner. He was happy to take you in.

“I planned on asking you to move in anyways!” He laughed in hopes to cheer you up.

It was a little fast, but why not? Jiraiya liked you and enjoyed having you around. He had mixed feelings about the whole situation. On one hand, you had lost your family. On the other, you were away from all that toxicity. He’s happy to be your family. The Hyūga absolutely despised him for stealing your heart away anyways. They tried several times in the past to break you up from him. It never worked. Almost a year and still going strong! Tsunade owes him money! He can keep a girl for over six months!

How did you meet? You were assigned on a mission with Jiraiya. A man hunt for an escaped prisoner. You could track them with your eyes and lead the team towards the prisoner. Jiraiya was already all flirty with you the moment he met you. He was genuinely interested in you. It was nice to have the attention. No one had ever flirted with you before. The Hyūga are prudes. They rarely approve of someone not involved in the clan even talking to them. They had your life on a set of tracks and expected you to follow it. That included the man they expected you to marry. Jiraiya threw a wrench into that when he asked you out. Where you quickly fell in love with him. Where you ended up in his bed soon after. Now he had you all to himself. Your clan probably had a heart attack when they found out you moved in with him. Unmarried and living with a man? Goodness, their whole world may just come crashing down!How scandalous!

Most days now you feel like a burden. You can’t navigate the apartment very well. You don’t want to go outside. It’s hard to do anything. Jiraiya was patient to teach you the layout of his home. He understood your plight. You used to have almost complete three hundred sixty degree vision. Now you have none. It must be a shock to the system. You ran into things. You stubbed your toes and hit the walls. You got frustrated easily because of it. But your boyfriend assured you it was okay.

“It’s a learning curve! Don’t rush yourself.” Jiraiya advised you. He walked behind you and held your waist as he helped you through the apartment. He gave you a light spank on the butt for encouragement when you got it right. “Atta girl!” He would follow up with a happy cheer. It never failed to make you feel better.

Currently, you have your head in your hands. You’re sitting crossed legged and wishing you had eyes to cry with. You got frustrated again. You got turned around and smacked headfirst into a wall. Then you turned the other way onto to stub your toes on a chair. Jiraiya had gone out to train his students. It’s hard to tell time. Who knows how long he’s been gone. Who knows how long you’ve been pouting on the floor. You reach around and find the wall. You manage to stand with it’s help. As you do, the door opens.

“I’m home!” Jiraiya announced happily. You hear him shuffling around, dropping off his stuff and taking off his shoes. “Babe? Where are you?” His voice was farther away, he must have gone to the bedroom.

“Over here!” You say from your post on the wall.

“Baby! You sneaky fox! I didn’t see you there!” He was in an ecstatic mood. His voice happy and chipper.

He’s approaching. You can hear his steps and he has an obvious presence. He puts his arms around you tightly. You hug him and nuzzle your cheek against his chest. His hugs are very comforting. They feel the same. He smells the same. If only you could see his face again. You touch his hair, stroking the length of the ponytail down his back. It feels the same too. But you find it you appreciate it more. It’s nice. Thick and wiry, but soft.

“Jiraiya?” You call his name quietly. Something was bugging you.

“What’s up?” He responds.

“What do I look like now?”

Jiraiya was quiet for a moment. He holds your face, gently guiding it to different angles. He puts kisses on your face. All by your eyelids and the bridge of your nose. He hadn’t explained what you look like since you got out of the hospital.

“Is it really that horrible?” You say. Then you gasp with realization. “I-Is this why you haven’t had sex with me since I moved in? I’m too ugly now?”

“No! You’re fucking beautiful!” Jiraiya said before kissing you. “I didn’t want to upset you while you were still recovering, that’s all.”

He touches your face. His first fingers and thumbs stroking your forehead and cheeks. It’s almost like a massage. Luckily, you still had your eyelids. So all you got is emptiness behind your lids. Two vast, dark sockets. Or at least that’s how you saw it. It’s a silly perspective, in his opinion. He stroked over the healing scars on your under eyes. And cheeks. He applied a very gentle pressure as he stroked over your eyelids. He didn’t want to cave them in or hurt you. You simply look like you were always sleeping. Always at peace.

“You got some little scars around your eyes.” He spoke quietly. He kissed the area. A gentle kiss on your cheek right beside your eye. “And your nose.” He pecked the bridge of your nose. “And one on the side of your face.” His lips tickled your hairline by your ear. Finally he kissed your lips again. He held it and kept it for a few seconds. It still felt the same, maybe better now that all you can do is feel it. “Your scars don’t define you. Don’t let them define you. You’re beautiful and don’t let anyone tell you different.”

A smile forms on your lips. How sweet. His words are so comforting. You run your hands up his arms, over his neck, and finally his face. It’s a gentle caress, but firm as you cradle his jaw. You miss seeing Jiraiya’s face. He had the most charming smile. Relaxed, goofy, a little lopsided. And his eyes! Oh how you miss looking into his eyes. Those dark, sparkling eyes. Like onyx or agate. Black like the night sky and the light caught them like stars. They glittered like a clear summer night when he’s happy. They were pitch and cloudy like a grim overcast when he’s sad. His face would be stoic but his eyes always portrayed his emotions. It’s rare to see such expressive eyes in a shinobi. It’s just one of the many reasons you like him.

Your eyes he loved. The Hyūga have such captivating eyes. They lack pupils. They range from completely clear to a hint of purple or pink. Yours were more on the purple side. They had the softest brush of colour to them like a water colour painting. 

When you first started dating him, he sent cards. Along with the sentiments already printed in them, he wrote beautiful letters. He’s a talented writer. He wrote about the way your eyes catch his attention in a poem that always made you smile. He wrote comparisons to gems and flowers. Like how they shined like ametrine stones under clear water and had the gentle but vast beauty of a field of blooming heather. He bought you bouquets with lisianthus, moonflowers, and cosmos. Occasionally when he came back from missions, he’d have purple flowers he saw and picked for you. You fondly remember him bringing home monkshood and you had giggle.

“Honey, those are poisonous!” You laughed as you pointed at the flower he was holding.

“What!” Jiraiya dripped the thing like it would kill him right then and stared at it in offence. He looked at you with wide eyes. “I’m I okay? Should I go to the hospital?”

You rolled your eyes at his dramatic reaction. “Just go wash your hands and whatever other parts it may have touched, you boob! You’re fine!”

“Do you miss my eyes?” You ask in the present.

A quiet laugh was Jiraiya’s first response. He tucked your hair behind your ears, keeping the strands from covering your face. “I guess I do sometimes, if I’m being honest.” Your expression fell, but he kissed you before you could be sad. “You are gorgeous without them. I fell in love with you, not your eyes.”

He grabbed your ass. You felt his lips turn into a smile against your skin. He reaches underneath you pants and underwear to grip your bare butt. Which he squeezed and groped.

“Now, as for the sex part.... I guess I have been slacking on you, haven’t I?” Jiraiya changed his tone to that flirty whisper that sends a rush of excitement.

“A little! I miss you like that!”

“We can’t have that now!” 

Jiraiya picked you up. He held you by your butt and you had to hold onto him with your legs around his waist.

You squeal in surprise and delight when he tosses you on the bed. You land comfortably on your back. Jiraiya wastes no time in taking off your clothes. Your legs are hanging over the edge of the bed. Another dose of excitement flutters up your spine. You can’t see, but you can tell he’s looking at you. You shift and spread your legs.

“Damn fine! You look hot like that, babe!” Jiraiya chuckled a little at the sight of you. His hands caress your inner thighs. You can feel his breath against your pussy. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a taste of this!”

“Gah!” You cry out and your hands fly down to grip his hair. He went right at it! His wet tongue lapping from the very end of your entrance to your clit. The noises you make only encourage him to go harder. He licks and drags his top teeth along your clit. “Jiraiya!” You encourage him with a moan of his name.

His lips curl into a smile again before he goes back at it. The tip of his tongue pokes and teases your entrance. Swirling around the rim a few times. Then up to do the same to your clit before going back down. He finally slid it inside. It provided some relief! You grip onto his hair as he pushes his tongue in and out. He flipped and curled it to give you some different sensations. You squeeze his head with your thighs. Jiraiya is fully into it. He was eating you out with renewed enthusiasm. The sounds your making and the way your thighs squeeze his head was one of his favourite things. The sounds were a little muffled, but the feeling of your soft skin against his cheeks and ears was worth it. Likewise for you! His hair is soft and fluffy! It’s fun to have all of that floof against your sensitive inner thighs.

Jiraiya’s wet tongue ran over your clit. It caressed and rubbed every little bit of it. Your hips buck in response. He grabbed them and held them against the bed. No moving! This is his job to do. He attacks that sensitive little button with hard pressure and swiftness. Your nails scrape against his scalp as you writhe against it. Your voice grew in volume. You grip fistfuls of his hair. Your body goes stiff as your nerves get overwhelmed.

“Jiraiya!” You cry his name as you cum.

He sat up after it was done. You hear him lick his lips and swallow. His hands stroke your thighs and ass. His wet lips kiss up your belly.

“Wait right here.” He told you. He pushed your legs apart again. “And stay like that. I got an idea.”

“Idea? What kind of idea? Jiraiya? Jiraiya!” You call for him as he walks away.

You stay how you are, just like he asked. Just what did he have in mind? You stretch your arms above your head. You find a section of your hair and play with it as you wait. At least he’s giving you time to recover and calm down before doing something perverted. You hear clinks of something dropping into a container. What the hell was Jiraiya doing? After several moments, his heavy steps entered the room again.

“You stayed put! That’s my girl!” He teased you. He patted your knee. He shakes something around. It’s a recognizable sound.

“Is... it... a glass of water?” You venture a guess. “You thirsty or something?”

“I’m always thirsty.” He jokes before setting the glass down. It made a soft noise when it hit the nightstand. “And close! But there’s no water.”

“Soda? Tea? What are you that eager to get the taste of my-!”

“Whoa there!” Jiraiya interrupted you. “It’s nothing like that. Lay back, relax, and let me do my thing.”

If you still had eyes, you would have rolled them. You do relax your body and wait for him. There’s a rustle of clothing as he undressed. The bed dips by your side. The glass clinks around again. Just how much ice is in there? Is he that over heated he cleared out a full ice tray? He better have refilled it.

A sudden cold cube touched your navel. It swirled around your tummy. It’s an ice cube. Jiraiya was teasing you with ice. It dripped down your skin and left trails in it’s wake. It hardened your nipples as they passed over. He swirled the cold block around your nipple before paying attention to it with his mouth. His tongue and lips were so warm in comparison. He popped the mostly melted ice into his mouth before continuing to lick it. It made it cold and hot. There’s a crunch between his teeth.

“You shouldn’t eat ice. It’s not good for your teeth.” You quietly advised. You reach out and you find his shoulder.

“That’s just an old wives tale.” Jiraiya dismisses your concern. He kisses you and lightly nips your bottom lip. “My teeth are still sharp and strong enough to bite you until you bleed.”

“Is that so? Are you going to cover me in love bites?”

“Only if you want.”

You grin. You stroke his neck and shoulder. “Is that what the ice is for? To numb my skin for your bites?”

He kissed you. He smiled against your lips before pulling back. “That just might be it. But it’s more fun when you can feel it all! You can probably feel it more without those pesky eyes!”

A new cube touched your lips. It traced the shape of your lips. You open your mouth and he popped it in. He kisses your right after. Your cold wet lips are quickly reheated by his. His tongue plays with yours and the ice. It’s a strange but pleasant mixture. The ice slides down your throat. You cough and choke on it for a second.

“Oh!” Jiraiya began to laugh. He rubbed your chest and the back of your neck in a kind gesture to help the ice go down easier. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry.” Your voice is a little weak from choking. You wave off that you were okay and lean forward for more kisses. “I’m fine! Let’s keep going.”

He kisses you before continuing. A minor hiccup is bound to happen. At least you are still into it. There’s been worse mishaps in bed he’s shared with you. 

He grabbed a new ice cube. The ones in the glass were half melted at this point. But it’s fine. He’s about to finish this on a big note. The cold thing touches your skin again. Starting at your neck and dragging down. He runs it across your collarbone, back over your breasts, and he spread his cold fingers between your boobs. He dragged the left over water down your body before grabbing a new one.

Jiraiya pinched it between his first and second fingers. He rubbed it against your clit. Wow! Wow that’s cold! The sensation was so different! It’s hard and slippery. The cold wet water melting off of it drips and trails down your thighs. He keeps going with it until it melts. His fingers are wrinkly from getting wet. He plays with you a little while longer before grabbing the last cube.

“Do you know where this one is going?” He asked in a sultry tone.

“Why don’t you show me?” You giggle as you squeeze his arm.

He repeats the same hold he did with the previous ice cube. It slides back over your clit and goes lower. It slides inside of you and he pushes it as deep as possible. It cools you down from the inside out. It’s strange. Almost unnatural. You’ve never had anything so cold inside of you. But it’s also very good! The cube is sliding all about inside of you with his fingers. It’s that weird mix of hot and cold again. He continues to finger you with it until your hot insides melt it. You wouldn’t mind doing something similar again. Or perhaps with different things. It’s all such a mystery with no eyes. What would other things feel like?

“I think we should play with popsicles next.” You say with a smile.

“I am a fan of phallic objects. It would be fun to shove one in every hole, don’t you think?”

You smile and flex your walls around his fingers. “It would! And think how tasty I’ll be!”

Jiraiya laughs. He pulls his hand away and rests it on your hip. “Oh yes! I’m thinking cherry and chocolate!”

What else could be better? His pretty little Hyūga covered in sticky melted ice treats. Chocolate running down your chin and staining your tongue, making your mouth chocolate flavoured. Translucent red sugary syrup running down your thighs as the popsicle was still melting inside of you. Oh how much fun Jiraiya will have pulling the stick out and searching for any slushy remains with his tongue. And you’ll taste like cherry! What could be better! He’ll have to open a new one to fuck you with and play with your clit before licking it all up again. It sounds like the perfect way to cool off in the summer. Oh the fun he can have with a blind significant other! All kinds of food now seemed... exciting.

He pulls you closer and rolls onto his back. You’re on top of him. Your hands are on his chest. The tip of his cock teases your entrance. Fuck it feels like forever since this has happened. This is going to feel great! He guided you down by your hips and you sink down on his length. It was hot and hard. It was just the right size and filled you perfectly. Oh... oh yes. You roll your hips.

Without your sight, you quickly grew to appreciate how this felt. All you had was how you felt. How it twitched and touched the right places. And riding him gave you some control. You went at your pace. Your knees dig into his sides for grip as your fingers stroke the length of his abdomen. Every muscle and scar had its own little indentation. You can envision him. His pretty lovely body. 

Jiraiya watched you. Your brows are furrowed slightly in concentration. Your lips parted as you breath through them. They turn upwards into a smile as you grind down to relish in that sweet spot. Your hands rested on his chest again. Where his heartbeat was strongest to feel. It was fast and pounding at this point. It makes you smile more for some reason. It’s nice to feel how excited he is.

You can feel his eyes on you. He’s watching you intensely, isn’t he? That’s another thing you can’t do anymore. Look him in the eye while he’s aroused. Watching those pupils dilate and be entirely focused on you was a thrill. His chest vibrates a little when he moans your name. At least you could still hear. And feel. None of this would have been possible without these sensations. But that face. His handsome face. You still miss that. Especially when he’s like this. You move your hands up his chest as you lean down. You lay your body against his and your hands travel to his face. You can feel his lashes tickle the tips of your thumbs as he closes his eyes.

“Jiraiya...” You whisper as you run your hands over his face.

He doesn’t say anything. He’s quiet as your thumbs trace out the shape of his cheeks. Your hands cup and curve around his ears. They feel his jaw in a slow motion. You feel and trace the shape of his lips. You run your fingers over his brow and forehead. Carefully you feel the lash line of his almond shaped eyes. Then you finally feel the bridge of his nose. You go over the tip and press your finger into his Cupid’s bow. It helps you imagine his face. He still looks the same in your mind. You run your thumbs down his cheeks, tracing the red lines he has down them.

“I miss looking at you.” You say quietly.

“There’s not a lot to miss there, beautiful.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re the prettiest man in town!”

Jiraiya laughed loudly. Your body shook with the laughs as he held you against him. He showered you in kisses all along your face and neck. “Thanks, love! You’re the prettiest girl in the world!”

He’s such a sweetheart. You smile and find his lips. You trace the shape of his lips and lean forward to kiss them. Jiraiya strokes his thumbs over your butt. His hands curled underneath your butt and he gripped the back of your thighs. He guided you to a new beat. He pushed you back and forth while popping your ass out. You refuse to let his lips go as this happens. You massage his scalp, tangling your hands deep into his hair.

Jiraiya keeps one hand on your thigh while the other began to move. His left hand rounded your ass, it stroked up your spine, it stroked your neck. His fingers ran up the back of your head. His hand stroked your hair to the crown of your head. He gripped your hair and pulled you back.

“Ow!” You complain.

He sat up and brought with him. You sit on his lap struggling. You writhe and mewl on his lap. Jiraiya kisses your lips for dealing with him. He’s a considerate man. A kinky man, but sweet. He licks your neck and pecks it.

“I think we mentioned biting, didn’t we?” He purred the question.

“Oh yes!” You agree.

You angle your head away from his lips to give him more room. He laps at your skin again. Even though you were expecting it, you still cry out. His teeth dig into your skin. He rolls his hips as he does so. He covers your neck and collarbone in love bites. It felt so good! The bits of pain layered with the pleasure. It sent mixed signals throughout your body. Your nerves aren’t sure what to focus on! He bites every inch of skin available to him while you ride him with all your energy. You cry out when you feel it build up.

You can’t catch your breath. You move faster and faster with his help. You scream as you are overloaded with the sensation. Jiraiya holds onto you. He grinds his hips against you and cries your name. He ruts against you a few more times to milk it for all it’s worth as he climaxes. It’s really good! It really has been too long.

You roll off and lay on your back. The bed dips beside you when Jiraiya collapses. His hand grazes your ribs when he spread out. He let’s out a long and loud sigh. After a moment of silence, he began to giggle. He rolled over and held you against him.

“I missed that so much! I forgot how vocal you are!” Jiraiya teases you before kissing you.

He kisses over the bites he made on your skin. He never drew blood, but he left bruises and indentations. The clear outline of his teeth patterns lined parts of you. And it was so much fun! The one thing he’ll miss was the berating he’d get from your family. They saw and knew of the hickies he caused. They would call him every name under the sun for corrupting you. He would just laugh and somewhat enjoy the ridiculousness of it. They hated to lose control of you. Most of your independence was gained through him. You were so shy and awkward when he first took you to bed, now you’re so loud those prudes you share blood with can probably hear you. Which is fine by him. And oh how he can’t wait to kiss and nip you in front of any clan member that dares to ridicule you. You got so much worth and he’ll do everything to show you off.

“Don’t tease me!” You pout at him as he laughs at you.

He kisses you again. They are softer kisses. Not as intense and passionate like it was during sex. He pecks your face in gentle kisses. All over your healing scars. It’s pleasant and comforting. All the attention he’s brought to your scars have been positive. He stroked and dragged a finger down your belly. He traces the line of your pelvis as he talks. He just likes to touch you. 

“How about I take you out tonight?” Jiraiya asked. His hand moved over your to your butt. He very much enjoys touching it. “You’ve been cooped up in here for too long. Do you feel up for going out now?”

You reach out and touch his chest. You draw random lines on his body. He’s beautiful. He’s big and strong. He’s a great big dork that won’t let anything happen to you. Still so... It’s a little nerve racking. You haven’t walked out in public since you lost your sight. With people and obstacles.... There’s so much to deal with. 

“I don’t know...” You are hesitant for that amount of stimulation.

“Come on, baby! I won’t let anything happen to you!” He promised. He pulled you into a tight hug. He showered you in kisses. “I’ll be your eyes! You can hold onto my arm all night. I’ll even feed you if you want.”

That doesn’t sound too bad. You haven’t been on a date with Jiraiya since you lost your eyes. It would be fun to go out with him again. Especially now that you have an excuse to hold onto him all night.

“Alright. Let’s go out. I miss going on dates.” You agree with a smile.

“Yes! I’m going to take you out to your favourite place!” He squished you into his tight embrace. You can’t help but giggle as he showers you in affection. “My girl needs to be treated to the best!”

Jiraiya’s loving affection cheered you up. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you. It’s just going to take time. He’ll get you back on your feet. He’ll get you back on the training ground. You’re a fighter at heart. He can see you able to defend yourself within the year. With time. He kisses you. With time it’ll all work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ay oh to them clan chicks. I have no memory of the curse mark or anything like self fucks up the eyes if they get yonked out of the users face but whatever. I write porn on the internet I am no lore expert. I got a kinda angsty sequel in mind stay tuned for that along with like the four other sequels I said I would do lmao.


	19. Star Crossed Lovers Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After you had to leave your village, Jiraiya is faced with the same difficult choice. You, or his village?

It wasn’t so bad. The life of a fugitive was a pretty relaxed one. For three years you lived in the small rotting house in the Land of Rain. You got to live it with Jiraiya. Being with him all the time was amazing! Everyday you got to do things with him. You got to hold and kiss him anytime you wished. You stayed up late with him to talk and get frisky. Where you would fall asleep in his embrace every night and wake up to his kisses. You would rest your head on his leg as he wrote. His hand would pet your hair and he occasionally asked you questions. But it was mostly just enjoying every little moment with him in a comfortable quiet. 

You helped him train the trio of children he took in. They were interested little things. All three you got along with. You learned how to fold paper flowers with Konan. You played games with Yahiko. You would sit and listen to the shy Nagato. He was the hardest to bond with. He was so quiet. But the more you bonded with his friends, the more he trusted you to open up.

Now... how did this happen? Why are you a rogue? A deserter... Sigh. The situation was so messy. A month after Jiraiya had given you the necklace, you sent a letter to him through one of his summons. In it was a love note and pictures. Yeah... you may have sent him nudes. Just a few polaroids of your naked body no big deal! God bless you for being his perfect woman with the perfect gift. He took them with him on a mission in the raining territory. He just had to. He felt like an old fashioned man! Fighting for his girl and looking at pictures of her for morale while he was stuck in the middle of a rainy war torn field. He was admiring your gorgeous pictured body when misfortune struck him late at night. He got jumped and bested by a team belonging to your nation. They actually summoned you down.

“This pervert has pictures of you!” Your teammate tossed a knife to you and it landed blade first into the ground between your feet. “We figure you deserve the kill. He was probably planning to do the same to you. Or worse.”

All you remember was looking at Jiraiya. He was roughed up and tied. Blood ran down his chin from a nasty split on his lip. He was scuffed and bruised by the hands of your colleagues. Yet, he simply smiled in understanding. He wouldn’t blame you if you chose your people. But... is it unreasonable to pick love over war? You picked up the knife. Your free hand held the small heart charm of your necklace. Your mind was long made up. You cut his bonds and admitted to your friends that this was the man you love. They all lost their minds. They put together who J was from the necklace and couldn’t believe you were betraying them. They pestered you for weeks about the little thing. They harassed anyone with names who started with J. They joked and laughed whenever you got flustered over their prying questions.

Then within a few minutes, you were no longer a ninja hidden in the stone. These were no long your friends. No more did you have brothers and sisters in arms. But you had your love. It’s a love your believe in deeply. Nothing shall sever it. No wars, nor alliances, kin, kith, or natural disasters will break it.

“You’re sure about this?” Jiraiya whispered the question.

“Yes. I don’t want to be in a world without you.” You answer with a smile.

He smiled. He grabbed your hand tightly. “Then let’s get out of here!”

He made an escape and took you away back to the house you and him always meet. But this time it was occupied by three new people. And that was that. You tossed away your forehead protector to officially renounce your village. And everything has been peachy keen ever since. You don’t leave the house often to avoid anyone from your old village seeing you. You tend to prepare meals or secretly read over Jiraiya’s notes when he was out training his team. He’s a good writer! But he was shy about letting people read his stuff. Sometimes you joined when the area was completely void of life. But half the time you kept an eye on your back and Jiraiya would be worried the whole time you were out in the open. Time was running out here, but no one knows for how long.

Jiraiya was still associated with the Leaf. He was a welcomed friendly whenever he was at the border. He often went into the forest to hunt or deliver a quick message to his comrades. He was off on one of these escapades when fate played her hand again.

He was late. He was supposed to be home hours ago. Worried and urged by the worried children as well, you chanced leaving to find him. Nagato actually stopped you. He grabbed your hand and his curtain of red hair split to reveal a concerned purple eye.

“Please! You can’t go too!” He was dreadfully worried.

You offered a smile to comfort him. You’ve become close to him over the years. “I won’t be long, I swear it. If I don’t find Jiraiya in an hour, I’ll come back. Okay?”

“Are you sure? I-I don’t want you to get hurt.”

You steal your hand back from him and you pat his head. “I promise. Everything will be just fine.”

Nagato nodded. You try to make him feel better. You comb his hair away from his face. He has a nice face. It’s a shame that he’s so shy he hides it.

“Keep a look out. I’m counting on you.” You tell him before leaving.

He was more assured and determined as he nodded furiously. You took off running. Back to the border of the Land of Fire. You dance around it for a few moments. But it was quiet. You don’t see Jiraiya anywhere. It felt wrong. You step over the invisible line and walk into the territory. Your curiosity and drive was stronger than your concern for safety.

After only a few moments, you ran into trouble. You ran right on top of a Leaf team. You tried to run. To make it to the border. But a poison needle struck your leg and numbed all the muscles. You hit the ground just only an arms length away from the neutral territory you call home.

“What a foolish girl. Just what were you planning to do?”

You turn your head back to get a good look at your attackers. Oh. Oh shit. What are the chances? You recognize these people just from Jiraiya’s description of them. His teammates. Orochimaru and Tsunade. It was Orochimaru who had spoken to you. He was approaching you with slow intimidating steps. His companion followed with caution. You can’t move. The poison on the needle had turned you almost completely numb. Something caught his eye. You cringe when he reached for you. There’s a tug on your neck as the chain on your necklace was challenged.

“Don’t touch that!” You yell at him.

The chain broke. Your beloved necklace was in his hand. He looked angry about it as he inspected the charm. He showed it to Tsunade, who recognized it. Her eyes going big. She looked at you with accusation.

“Where did you get this?” She demanded.

You don’t answer. You look away. Why can’t the ground just swallow you whole? Anything to get out of this situation. She grabbed the collar of your shirt and lifted you up so that your face was next to hers.

“Tell me!” She yelled at you. “Do you know anything about that necklace? Do you know how important it is?!” She was irate. At least Jiraiya’s teammates had his back. They must have known he bought a necklace for a girl. Maybe even asked their opinions on it.

She was suddenly pulled back. She turned around to yell, but paused. It was Jiraiya. His expression was a mix of pain and fury. He looked at you then back to his friends. He was processing his choices.

“This girl has your necklace.” Tsunade said slowly. It seems she wasn’t sure why Jiraiya was behaving oddly. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened to your girlfriend...”

An ironic smile flickered on his lips. Oh how wrong they were. Jiraiya walked to your side and knelt down. He pulled the needle out of your leg and pinched the wound. You flinched as he squeezed the wound.

“It’s not deadly. You’ll live.” He assured you with a smile. It dropped. He sighed and it’s easy to tell he’s being torn apart. This is a choice he didn’t want to make.

“Jiraiya... it’s okay. I understand.” You whisper. You gently put your hand over his. You offer the same understanding smile he gave you those years ago.

“No... no it’s not like that.” Jiraiya shook his head. A more genuine smile took his face. “I choose you. I just wish I didn’t have to do this.”

In an ideal world, he would have wanted to take you home once this was all over. Without a war, there’s no need to hide. He would face and fight all the criticism to be with you. He would lie if he must. Anything to get you accepted. But this... this could work too. He picked you up. Your heavy arm draped over his shoulders as he supported you against his side.

“Jiraiya? What are you doing? She’s the enemy!” Orochimaru was outraged. He doesn’t understand this!

“She’s not. She’s....” Jiraiya trailed off and grimaced. He’s had years of imagining this conversation, yet he doesn’t know how to form his words.

“She’s your girlfriend.” Tsunade finished. She bowed her head as he realized what the meant. “She’s not one of us, is she?”

He shook his head. “Stone.” He laughed a little when he looked at you. “Not anymore though. She left. She chose me over her village.” Jiraiya paused to take in a deep breath. “And I’m doing the same. I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“You can’t come back if you do this, Jiraiya. Are you sure this is what you want?”

He nods. It’s all so bittersweet. “I don’t want to leave the woman I love...” he pauses and struggles to keep his voice steady. “And I can’t live with myself if she died. I’m sorry it has to be this way.”

Tsunade can’t find the words. This was so surreal. Jiraiya was... serious about this. She glances at you. You must really mean something. You’re the woman he always talks about. The one he often gets lost in thought daydreaming about. The way he smiles, blushes and laughs whenever anyone asked who his mystery girl is. It’s strange. She never pictured Jiraiya would ever fall so deeply in love. She would wonder about it. Who this woman was that made him act so strangely. He was drunk in love. The hours she spent trying to picture you as he droned on and on about how you look and how deeply he missed you. She often fell asleep to the sound of his tired voice while on missions.

“I’m happy you found someone. It’s about time.” Tsunade would tell him with a smirk.

“I’m happy too.” Jiraiya would always respond. He would grip his chest and chuckle oh so softly. “It hurts when I’m away from her... It’s the strangest thing.”

That’s love. It’s weird to see Jiraiya in love. But good. Very good. Why did you have to be an enemy? He had to go. He’s leaving because he chose you. Tsunade would never see him again. Not as a friend. Everything is changing. And oddly enough...

“What!” Orochimaru looked at Tsunade like she was crazy. “You aren’t just going to let him go, are you? This is treason!” This is insane! How could someone throw away their future for a girl?

“I... I guess I am.” She felt like laughing. But it’s not really funny. It’s all so backwards and overwhelming she’s not sure what emotion to show. “You know we can’t change Jiraiya’s mind when it’s made.”

Jiraiya smiles. He shared a look of mutual understanding with her. Out of all the people in the world, Tsunade would understand. However... His look shared with Orochimaru was more tense and furious. How could Jiraiya do this? All of this! For you? A woman from a different village? Insanity. Orochimaru glares at you in a smouldering rage. The moment he has the opportunity, you just might die.

“I... I’m sorry.” Jiraiya found himself apologizing to them.

He hates to leave on bad terms. But what choice does he have? There’s a high chance he’ll meet his friends on the battlefield, as a rogue. An outcast and criminal. Things he never thought he would ever become.

He chooses you. He wants you over everything. Love breeds sacrifice. He never understood that until now. Jiraiya stared at his childhood friends. His team. His family. He’ll sacrifice it all if it meant he could be with you.

“Thank you.” He could barely find his voice. Goodbyes are always hard.

Jiraiya scooped your legs out from under you and ran at full speed back into the rain. He didn’t want to linger. He had to get out with you as quickly as possible. You cling onto him. You look over his shoulder to see his teammates standing there. They are still and somber. Their silhouettes fade and blend into the rain the farther you are carried.

For the whole trip back to the house, Jiraiya didn’t speak. He looked tired. He barely uttered a word of apology to the kids before laying down. It didn’t comfort them much and they looked at you for an explanation. You simply waved them off and told them later. Nagato headed your words and herded his friends outside. He’s a good kid. The man you love needs comfort. Jiraiya inhaled deeply before shutting his eyes. You can barely move from the poison in your system. But you manage to curl up beside him. You rest your head under his and wrap your arms around him. His face burrowed against you hair and he stayed silent. He’s upset, but he’s dealing.

It was the right choice. Practically every year, Jiraiya was told by his teacher that it was wise to choose happiness over power. It was that ‘time to be a man’ talk. Basically Hiruzen calls him childish for about an hour or so while he just blankly stares and zones out. It was silly and funny now. The last time it happened, Jiraiya had to smile from that irony again. He was with someone. He had someone he loved and it made him grow up a little. He never got the chance to tell his teacher about you. Now he probably won’t ever be able to.

“They took my necklace.” You muttered against his shirt.

“Don’t worry about it. Your teammates burned my pictures.”

You sigh and rub his back. “I guess we’re even. I just wished I could have kept it. It meant so much to me.” You angle your head up to kiss his chin. “It always cheered me up to feel the engraving. It always felt like I had a part of you with me.”

“That’s sweet! I love that it meant so much.” Jiraiya laughed. You cheered him up a little. His hand moved down and squeezed your butt. It’s still a little numb but you could still feel it beyond the tingles of the numbing agent in the poison. “I often jacked it to your photos!”

“Glad to be of service!”

His laugh was louder and he scooted you up by your butt to give you proper kisses. You giggle and return every kiss he gives you. You smooch and over exaggerate the noises to help him cheer up. He eventually rolls over to squish you in a big old hug and keeps you there to smother you in affection. He held you tightly all night.

The next day, you found Jiraiya standing outside clutching his forehead protector. He debated with himself for a long time. But he relented. He loved his village. He loved his people. But he loves you more. He reeled his arm back and chucked the thing away. It landed far away into some murky mud. It was liberating. His home is with you now. It has been for so long. His world was so small now. Yet so big now that it was just you and his team. You hugged him tightly. He accepted it, he needed the comfort.

“We won’t ever be apart again.” Jiraiya said quietly.

“No. We won’t.” You agree.

You don’t need anyone else so long as you have him. This was the start of a new adventure. A hard path was ahead. It was mostly unknown as well. Who will hunt you? How long did you have here? Even if it was only a day, or many more years. Surely it will be fine. You could do it so long as you had Jiraiya.

You catch his attention by placing your hand on his cheek and guiding his face towards you. His eyes finally casted away from the gloomy horizon to look at you. You offer a smile and play with his hair. You rise on your toes to give him a kiss.

“I love you.” You say quietly.

“I love you too.” Jiraiya returned with a smile.

He was still gloomy. But he’s happy. He’s relieved. He didn’t have to participate in a war anymore. He could be with you and wander the world with you as he was meant to. No responsibility aside from protecting the ones he loves. What else could Jiraiya want? Perhaps he should write something like this. What could make for a better story?

No more villages. No more wars. Only the deep love felt for one another that survived every obstacle it faced. The star crossed lovers who gave up everything to be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh snap y’all! Stay tuned for part 3! It gets kinda sad lmao.


	20. The Girl in the Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You, dear reader, are a very shy girl. You don’t brag or show off. You live your quiet life as a healer and just happen to be a Senju. No one really suspected you to have the potential to be deadly, until a certain someone followed you and caught you training. It’s a good thing he’s always been in love with you and will keep your secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I always kinda imagined that if Jiraiya was given a canon girl(that wasn’t a big sad unrequited love) it would be something like this. He deserves a sweet girl and I can imagine him bring out someone’s confidence because he’s a good supportive noodle. Shout out to all the shy girls out there!

Where the hell are you going? Jiraiya raises a brow as he happens to catch you leaving Konoha. You’re not trained for fighting. No... you’re just a healer. A talented one at that. You had a unique ability. Your connection with water was incredibly strong. It obeyed you like nothing anyone has ever seen. You used it to pull together wounds and clean blood. You manipulated the blood itself to mend the bones within the muscles and numbed the pain for your patients by freezing their breaks. It’s a special power that has great potential. Hm... maybe more potential than anyone knows.

Jiraiya does what he do best. Stalking women!... er... surveillance. Just surveillance. All in the name of concern for a friend. He quite liked you. Your gentle smile and sweet words get his heart pounding. As a teenager, he really fell for you. He’s never told you how he felt. He’s harboured these feelings and kept them hidden for close to ten years. There’s a part of him that’s terrified he’ll ruin a perfectly amazing friendship if he tells you. But... he just wants you.

You’re so easy to talk to. You have the greatest smile. It suited your pretty face, but it was rarely seen. You would always heal his injuries. He loved the feeling of it. Every time you visited to watch his team train, he got distracted. Your presence effected his focus. No one has ever done that to him before. He worked harder to impress you, because you were watching! He had to impress you. When Tsunade would get a good strike on him, you would protest. You always ran into the field to assist.

“Tsunade! You don’t gotta deck him so hard! It’s just sparring.” You scold your elder cousin.

The first time, Jiraiya flinched slightly. You got so close! He didn’t know what to do so he froze up. Even at the age of seven, you had your powers mostly figured out. You waved your hands and the water in the nearby lake obeyed you. The water was cold on his cheek. It quickly got warm and felt like a soft kiss to his cheek. And embarrassingly, he got hooked on the feeling. Your attention was so precious. Jiraiya would purposely get hurt just to see you. What other excuse could he come up with? He just had to see you. Last time he did it, you laughed. It’s such a rare sound. Your laugh is like music. He just loved hearing it and loved it more when he was the one who made you laugh. You wrapped a bandaid around his cut finger and teased him by putting a kiss on the injury like he was a little kid. The whole day after he stared at it in wonder and cherished how it made him feel. He felt like a little kid. Weak and unsure of himself. Only when it came to you. He just got so nervous. He could barely piece together a natural sounding sentence when he talked to you. His cheeks heated up and his brain turned off whenever he faced you alone. He stammered most times all while lost in your ever endless kind smile and patient eyes.

Like where did his balls go? He’s known you for years! It’s not like you’re a stranger! He knows what you like. He just can’t work up the nerve to ask you out. There was also Tsunade. Who knows how she’ll react to you dating her teammate. She was close to you like a sister. She was protective of you and didn’t trust Jiraiya, or any boy, around you. You were genuinely innocent sometimes and didn’t pick up on someone hitting on you. Or men being creepy to you. You had to rely on your big cousin and her friends to protect you. Jiraiya himself had physically removed a man that was getting very creepy talking to you. You were too polite to tell the weirdo to fuck off. But you casted a pleading look to your friend, who happily stepped in. Ain’t nobody gonna talk to you like that. No one talks to his girl like that!

He followed you into the forest, keeping his distance. Curious. You don’t often leave the village. You had no reason to. It’s just out of character. Are you in trouble? It’s not like you get in trouble. You stay out of it as much as possible. You don’t even get deployed for missions. Or just gathering herbs? But the Nara had that garden that supplies the hospital, what could you need out here? Jiraiya stalks the underbrush. Hiding in the leaves. Staying quiet as he watches you.

You stopped at a secluded section of a river. The area almost completely untouched by humans. Jiraiya found a good perch on the other side of the water. He had a cinematic view of you, the water, and the lush growth. It kept him completely hidden. The leaves covering him in their comforting embrace. You took off a layer to start. Oh ho! You got his undivided attention.

Your shoulders exposed as you revealed a tank top. You stretched your arms above your head. You look very nice. This was the most skin Jiraiya had ever seen you expose. You’re so shy you don’t ever show off. A shame. You look nice. You are quite the show stopper with your looks, but you’re so shy most people pass you by without giving you a glance. It was kinda crappy that people ignore you in favour to your cousin. But that just meant the people that did notice you, noticed you for you. You had few friends, but they were close ones. The ones that took a chance on the quiet girl and forged a strong friendship with her. Jiraiya couldn’t be happier he decided to befriend you. He wanted so much more... but how to tell you...

You activated your chakra to walk on the water until you were in the middle of it. You raised your hands. And just like that, Jiraiya was witnessing something phenomenal. You could control the water like it was apart of you. It danced to your command. You summoned a water style dragon and made the cast last longer and more accurately. You span around with your arms out and the dragon encircled you and span with you. It was almost like a ribbon dance. You tossed your hand to a tree and the dragon attacked. It flew to your command and smashed the tree. Wow! Just how long can you cast that for? Can you use it to defend yourself for longer when it spins around you like that? He had so many questions.

Well... it’s no doubt who your bloodline is. It’s a great blessing you don’t have your grandfather’s temperament. If you were anything like Tobirama, half of the population of Konoha would have been dead or terrified of you. Too many people have gotten away with saying terrible things to you or treating you poorly because of your kind nature. If you had a shred of Tobirama’s temper, they would have been washed away with a storm you have casted. But you were so sweet. No one knew you could do this, did they? They all assumed you couldn’t harm a fly. But if you wished, you probably had the accuracy with your water chakra to slice a fly in half.

Your training continued with other beautiful moves. Including commanding the river to send a cascading wave that would level a small town. You streamed a whip of water that you used to snap the branches of a tree. You rolled your arms like you were kneading dough and the whip turned into a high speed disk of water. You tossed your arm up and it flew to the tree and sliced it so cleanly and swiftly it didn’t move for a moment before crashing apart to the ground.

Everything you did was executed with grace. It was almost like a dance. A fusion of ballet and fighting. You worked with the water to create your attacks. You could draw from the river to create massive jutsus. Wow! Just wow! You are amazing!

After an hour of these graceful attacks, you stopped. You bent down with your hands on your knees. You need a break. It’s hot out. It’s a little exhausting. You wipe the sweat from your brow. One deep breath later and you straighten out your posture. Your arms shake as you raise them up. Several shaky streams of water wiggles out of the water. They were unstable.

It looks taxing. You were putting in a lot of effort for this one. Jiraiya chances peering closer. He uses his hands to push the branches of the bush away to get a better look. This had to be good. You haven’t disappointed so far. The streams of water grew and stabilized. There was ten of them. They protected you in a circle of tentacles. Each one curled and moved separately from each other.

They suddenly burst and splashed back into the water. Your arms fell to your sides. You’re panting. You comb your sweaty hair away from your forehead. You waver on your feet. You can’t catch your breath and it seemed your knees would buckle at any moment.

Oh... no. Oh no! Jiraiya tensed. He slid one foot forward as he braced himself to launch forward if needed. Please don’t! He doesn’t want to blow his cover. There’s no chance in hell you would ever train while knowing someone could be watching you. Again, a damn shame. You had style and grace of some sort of water deity. He loved watching this. It was honestly the prettiest fighting style he’s ever seen. Your eyes fluttered closed and you fall to the water. You had fainted. He reacted.

He caught you before you fell under the frigid water. Your legs fell in to the knees in the river. But you aren’t drowning. Jiraiya touches your forehead. You are very warm. Looks like heat stroke and chakra exhaustion. He cuts the flow to his feet and shutters. The water is cold and he was not prepared. But he is more than willing to deal so that your insides don’t cook. He crouched down until you are in the water to your chest. He throws handfuls of water on your face to cool it.

You come to quickly. You wake up, eyes opening and making contact with your saviour. Oh! Oh god it’s him! You startle a little and almost fall out of his arms.

“Jiraiya! W-What are you doing here?” You stammer.

He fights with your struggling. It’s like handling a fish out of water. You flop and struggle with confusion and embarrassment.

“Relax, would ya!” He was a little exasperated. You cling onto his shirt once you got a grip on yourself. “I was watching you, okay!”

Confusion instantly hit your face when he said that. “What? Why were you watching me?”

“Because,” a smile grows on Jiraiya’s face, “I knew you had more to you.”

You watch him carefully. His eyes and expression so genuine. Heat rises to your cheeks. No one has ever said that to you before. Jiraiya scooped his arm under your legs and lifted you up. You hold onto his shoulders as he stood up straight. He was carrying you out of the water.

“I can walk!” You protest.

“Don’t be silly!” Jiraiya laughed as he took you away. He stepped over the underbrush he hid in as he made his way back to the village. “Tsunade will kill me if I made you walk after you fainted!”

You sink down in embarrassment. Maybe your family was a little too protective. Tsunade was going to flip at the state of you. Without a doubt she’ll send Jiraiya to the moon regardless of you walked or not. You’re soaking wet with her teammate, who is also wet, and with a reputation for being a pervert. She didn’t like it when you were in the company of men without her. She believes you are too sweet to tell anybody no or to fuck off.

And... well. Your shirt is see through from the water and he’s obviously stole a couple of glances. His eyes darting down to your chest before shooting back up. He’d grit his teeth as he mentally scolded himself for it. He stared straight ahead with a ridged straight and tense neck. A light dusting of pink was on his cheeks. You timidity crossed your arms over yourself to hide them, but hey... it was kinda nice that he obviously liked what he saw.

Once at the hospital, Tsunade indeed bonked Jiraiya on the head. She was more restrained then expected. Still pissed, but didn’t lose her mind. She was forgiving because you quietly mentioned you would have drowned without him there. He whined and she still chewed him out despite that.

“And stop stalking my cousin and just ask her out if you want to ask her out!” She whacked him with her clip board against his forehead with each word.

“Tsunade! Don’t just out me like that!” Jiraiya complained as she left the room ignoring him completely.

She snuck a wink at you before shutting the door. She often told you that Jiraiya had a thing for you. But you never believed her until now. You thought she was just teasing you. He stood facing the door for a few seconds. He finally turned to face you. He smiled at you sheepishly. His throat bobbed with a heavy swallow and his voice even cracked a little when he said your name. He cleared his throat and tried again.

“Will you go to dinner with me?” Jiraiya finally asked you.

You can’t help but smile. You quite like him. You may have harboured a bit of a crush on him ever since you were a kid. He’s kind and sweet in his own way. Mostly with the people he truly cares about. He always took the time to talk to you and listen when you spoke. Not a lot of people do that. He stood close to you and often defended you. He was a great person and you found him to be pretty attractive. And he was finally asking you out! Oh man how you hoped this day would come.

“Yes! I would love to.” You answer him happily.

He lets out a tense breath and smiles. He leaned forward and put his hands on either side of you on the hospital bed. His face was near yours. More heat flushes your cheeks and you can clearly see he’s blushing as well.

“Perfect! We can work on your training too!” Jiraiya said.

Your face must have said it all, because he laughed. He closed the distance and gave you a kiss. It was quick and timid. His lips pressing against yours for only a few seconds before leaving. It left you wanting more when he pulled away.

“How about tomorrow? Once you’ve recovered and steady on your feet?” He asked.

“Okay.” You agree.

He beamed a wide smile before backing up. Jiraiya turned to leave. Instead he walked right into the closed door. He always became a klutz around you. You snort and cover your mouth to silent your laughter. He slowly opened the door and turned to face you as he slid out the door. He’s holding his nose in pain. But he’s smiling. He had that ‘I made you laugh’ smile. He always managed to make you smile or laugh. Then he would look at you with a mix of fascination and warmth. With that smile that seemed to speak of how great his affection for you was. It’s an expression that always manages to make you blush. It’s so loving and he always does that whenever he sees you. A part of you wonders, does he injure himself just to see you? And to make you laugh? You’ll have to ask him later.

“See you tomorrow!” He waved at you and his voice was a little nasally.

“Until then.” You wave back.

He left and shut the door behind him. You shift in your seat excitedly. You can’t stop smiling. Tomorrow will be fun! A first date with Jiraiya just has to be a good time. You spend the rest of your hospital stay wondering what the date will be like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavily inspired by water bending from atla if that wasn’t obvious haha!   
> Oh crap guys! 20 chapters?! That’s wild I’m so proud of myself for writing this much and so excited to see all the kudos and comments it’s the highlight of my morning whenever I check my email! Thank you all and let’s keep it going strong!


	21. Kidnapping A Sage’s Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s a terrible idea to be honest. Jiraiya will have to remind some of these people why you don’t go for you, his wife, to get to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!: Blood, torture, and mentions of sexual assault.

You cringe when the rope was tugged on. Your wrists are pulled apart and tied. Almost like crucifixion position with your arms completely spread out. You’re on your knees and the ground underneath you was hard on them. The walls around you are made of earth and it’s dimly lit by one burning oil lamp in the middle of the room. You’re underground and there’s a faint rumbling in the distance. You aren’t sure where you are or how to escape.

Mostly, you just feel foolish. How could you be so dumb as to get caught? Jiraiya was gonna be mad. This is like the one thing he told you not to do. You scowl and sneer at any of the men who dare to get close. You try to keep them back. But what can you do? You’re at their mercy for the moment. There’s no defining features on the people who captured you. They just look like brigades. Sell swords and academy dropouts. A third party hired to deal with you rather than the main culprit. Which felt more insulting. Like you aren’t even worth the time of whatever organization wanted you out of the way. They rather have some low lives do their dirty work rather than deal with you themselves. Sheesh. Assholes.

You yank on your bonds when one of them approaches from behind. Their hands touch your clothes. To match your husband, you often wore old fashioned clothes like kimonos. You wore them by themselves or with hakama. You thankfully had your big comfy hakama on. The wide leg pants gave you some sort of security as your kimono was pulled off of you. It revealed your shoulders and back.

“Well I will say one thing.” The leader of this little show walked around you like you were a piece of display art. “This Jiraiya fellow has great taste in women.”

You sneer and fight it as the man brandished a whip. He smiled at you. Creepy jackass won’t get anything from you. He’s got a big body to do big damage. This is going to hurt like hell.

“So tell me, pretty girl.” He spoke with a strong air of confidence. “Just how much does your husband love you?”

You grip onto your hands and prepare for the strikes.

Foolish. Idiots! Jiraiya pushes past everyone and the door rattles when it’s pushed past it’s hinges. He’s never been so angry. How dare these people lose his damn wife! Who does that? What does he have to do to get good help? And how dare they suggest he shouldn’t go find you! You’re his wife! His whole god damn world! The woman he loves is in danger and he’ll go on a war path if he has to. He leaves the Hokage’s estate in a blind rage. Why they told him in a building was a mistake. He yelled and almost threw something out a window.

He stopped at the gate. What does he do? Where does he go? There’s no leads he was given. No one really knew where you were taken. That doesn’t matter. He’ll find you. No matter what. He savagely bit open his thumb before weaving the signs so damn fast.

“Find her.” He ordered cold and firm to his tracker toad.

His summon didn’t even protest. They all knew better than to argue with Jiraiya when he’s mad. It’s a rare thing to see, but it happens. And when it happens, it’s a cold fury with no mercy. Jiraiya isn’t the type to normally tap into these range of emotions. He prefers to be positive and level headed. But when he does tap into these emotions, it’ll fuel him until this conflict is at an end. This is no time for sarcastic comments and coy grins. It’s time to strike down his enemies and save the one he loves. The toad hopped off. He grit his teeth and followed. He won’t just sit around, it’ll drive him insane. He’ll do everything to find you.

You cry out. The whip came down on your back. It hurt like a son of a bitch. You bite your lip and resist the urge to cry out again. You don’t want to give them anything, not even expressing your pain. You can’t see it, but you can feel it. The blood dripping down from your open wounds. It ranged from one wrist to the other with no skin in between unmarked. Your captors were getting frustrated. One was kneeling in front of you, eyes narrowed. Staring at you with a thoughtful frown.

“You really are stubborn. Is defending the people you love worth it? All this pain. All the scars we’re giving you.” He sighed with disappointment. He shook his head. He raised his pointer finger at you when he brought up his next question. “Tell me, what will your husband think at the sight of you? Will he be mad? Or is he one of those give up and cry types when he sees your beaten body?”

“Ah!” Your voice got caught in your throat when you opened your mouth to speak and the whip was brought down on you again. The length of the whip was dragged over your shoulder. It left a smear of blood in it’s wake over your yet to be marked skin. The man in front of you now had it and blatantly stared at your chest. You glared at him and rose to the challenge with the same defiance you’ve shown all damn day. “You’ll be faced with a level of hell you’ve never seen before. Jiraiya is quite protective of the things he holds dear.”

“We shall see. Not so sure about you though. I think we found our answer on Jiraiya’s greatest weakness.” The man nodded in the affirmative.

“What’s that? What do you mean?”

He shrugged like it was no big deal. “What better way to get to a man then to hurt the woman he loves?” He then smiled and snapped the weapon in his hand. It cracked the air and struck your chest. “Shame about your tits. They’re quite nice. Your pants are coming off soon. Extra shame about what’ll happen there.”

“Try it. Get any closer and I’ll bite your dick off.”

He laughs at you. It’s sinister. “I love that you got so much fight. Most women we torture give up the moment we got them tied. You’re a real shinobi, you know that?”

“Wow thanks. I’ll be sure to pass the message along.” Your tone dripped with sarcasm.

The whip struck your face. You hissed through the pain. It cut through your cheek. The wave of pain from the strike rolls over your whole face. That was going to leave a nasty bruise. Your tormentor sneered at you.

“But I hate that you’re so lippy. You ought to learn your place. You’d be cuter if you didn’t talk so much.”

A silent exchange happened between the two men. You jump in surprise when the tip of a knife tickled your back. It sliced the tie holding your pants on. You kicked him away, shrieking as you do. No one will get any closer! Not if they wanted to live!

Jiraiya stopped for only a second. His heart was pounding and his lungs hurt. He hadn’t stopped. And as another day draws to a close, the dread he feels building in his stomach grows. It’s like ice and fire churning in his guts. He feels awful. This is so stressful. Where are you? Why can’t he find you? He’s on the verge of teetering on the edge. His emotions are going through hell and they aren’t sure where to land. He could go into hysterics or shut down. He doesn’t know what to do. It’s the first time he’s ever been driven to such a point. Nothing has ever made him so emotional. He couldn’t live if you died. It can’t happen. He won’t let that happen. The tracker toad stopped a few feet ahead and looked back.

“You coming boss?” It asked.

Jiraiya nodded and caught up. There’s no time to take breaks. He’ll keep going until his lungs bleed and muscles burn. He clings to hope. You feel close. He must be on the right path. You just have to be alive.... Please be alive. 

Your whole body hurt. But you still fought. Luckily those dirty bastards hadn’t dared to touch you like that. They gave up when you put up too much of a fight. But they lashed out by covering every square inch of you in whip cuts. They covered your legs in cuts and laughed when you struggled. They even got your feet. Which hurt the most oddly enough. You can’t walk on them because the soles are covered in open wounds. The flesh was very tender, sore, and bleeding. And you aren’t sure if they did something, but you just feel so tired. They untied you and left you on the floor hours ago. It felt demeaning, like you aren’t a threat anymore. Your whole body felt heavy. You’re cold. It’s hard to keep your eyes open for too long. Your captors have teased you and told you it’s been several days.

“Does your husband really care? Maybe he’s not coming for you at all.” They would sneer at you. Then laugh when you got angry.

You exhausted what chakra you had to try and summon something. But the most you got was a tadpole with legs. It poofed back from whence it came after you fretted over the poor thing. What’s the point? Nothing you do for yourself will save you. You flop down on the ground and curled up on your side. This sucks. You shut your eyes and try to deal with the circumstances. Maybe with some rest you can try something else.

A soft croak woke you up. In front of your face was a small toad. It was more muted in colour in comparison to some of it’s cousins. But it had a little collar woven out of cloth rope and had a few small shide dangling off of it. You smile at it. You haven’t met this one before. You reach out and brought the toad against you. You tucked it snuggly against your chest and stroked it’s head. It stayed quiet. It enjoyed your pets.

“Maybe I’m going crazy. Did I summon you and forget?” You spoke quietly. It was a great comfort to hold the little summon.

It didn’t speak. It just cuddled you back as you desperately clung to it’s presence. You love all of the summoning toads. They were always so nice to you. Which always made Jiraiya pout. He crossed his arms and sulked when his summons would spend most of their time talking to you when he summoned them. Gamabunta even tolerated you. Enough to let you stand on his head and share a drink with him. Sigh. You miss them. Especially your dear husband. You can’t wait to be in his arms again. You shut your eyes and keep the toad cradled against your body. Once you fell asleep, the toad wiggled from your grasp. He quite liked you. He always heard that you were very nice to his kin. But he shouldn’t stall. He did his job. He must return to his master before the poor man had a stroke from worry. He hopped away with the path to you memorized.

“Well?” Jiraiya asked. He had his arms crossed and he stood motionless. He let the tracker go ahead and observe the situation out.

“You were right. She’s in a hideout carved in and behind the waterfall.” The toad confirmed with a nod. “There’s about four people in the hideout and she’s in the very back....”

“How... how is she?”

“Weak and injured. She-!” The toad stopped talking when Jiraiya stepped over him and stormed towards the waterfall. Apparently that was enough of the need to know. The toad shrugged and poofed away, his role has been fulfilled. And he’s had enough of the grumpy toad sage.

The whole hideout erupted into chaos. You sat up on your knees and braced part of your weight with your hands on the ground between your legs. You recognize the angered tone of your husband. His voice echoed around the walls and it was full of rage. He was pissed. It was like a banshee had entered the cave.

You struggle to stand up. It’s excruciating to move. The mere pressure alone on the open wounds on your feet was enough to make you want to fall back down. The rocks and dust digging into your wounds was agony. But you don’t care. You have to see him. He was probably well into dragging out a nasty fight. It was hard to navigate in the almost complete pitch darkness. You round the corner and the light from the outside hits your face, along with the disorientating sound of the rushing water. The fight was coming to an end. With two out of the four lying motionless on the floor. One was fearfully crawling away while his comrade was getting messed up. Spots and shadows dance along your vision as your eyes try to adjust.

“Jiraiya!” Your voice was raspy and hoarse. You haven’t used it a lot above a whisper in days. 

Jiraiya turned his head towards you. He looked you over, his eyes moving rapidly over your body to take you in. His expression only got more furious. You swear you see his hair stand on end and tense like a cat fluffing it’s fur up to appear bigger before it’s opponent. It was becoming hard and sharp like needles as the Lion’s Mane attack seemed to be activating itself. He was going to strangle this man with his hair. With the sharp hard points of the tips of his hair digging into the flesh of his enemy like a thousand tiny deadly needles.

“What the ever loving fuck did you do to my wife?!” Jiraiya demanded. This was the most angry you’ve ever seen him. “Who do you work for?”

The remaining captor looked at you and smile. “Looks like we got our answer, baby. It’s a shame I didn’t have time to do more to you.”

Jiraiya slammed him against the wall and snarled. “Don’t speak to her! You don’t have the right to speak to her ever again. He leaned forward and hissed in the man’s face in a low and dangerous tone. “I don’t usually enjoy killing people, but I’ll make an exception for the monsters who harm the woman I love.”

Uh oh. You stumble forward. You don’t want Jiraiya to compromise his morality. He must be absolutely livid if he cast aside the whole life is precious mentality. You grab his arm. He looks at you and the rage falls from his face. You tend to pull him back to reality when he gets like this. He says your name quietly. The grip on his enemy gets tighter and his fists shake from the strain. You gently tug on his arm as a sign for him to let go.

“Knock him out... it’s smarter to bring him back alive for questioning.” You reason with him quietly.

“He hurt you. I... I want...”

“I know what you want. But it’s not smart. It’s not you.”

You rest your head on his shoulder and groan quietly in pain. Jiraiya took in a deep breath. You are right. The deep rooted need for revenge wasn’t rational. Although... if Interrogation asked him for help, he wouldn’t say no. He got a bit of satisfaction punching the man in the face and knocking them out with the single hit. He dropped the man and the body hit the ground with a dull smack.

Jiraiya turned to you and squished you into a hug. You hold onto him, gripping the back of his shirt tightly. He raised your head up by curling his fingers under your chin and tilting it. You perk your lips and he dives in to deprive you of air. You happily make out with your husband. It felt like years since he’s done so.

“I missed you.” Jiraiya spoke quietly beside your lips before going back in.

“I missed you too.” You whisper.

As much as he wanted to hold you for hours and kiss you until his lips hurt, Jiraiya sighed and pulled back. He needed to get you home and taken to the hospital. The sight of you covered in wounds and blood still shook him. It never should have come to this. But you’re alive... that he’ll always be thankful for. He pecked you with one final kiss before taking his haori off. He put it on you. It’s comically big on you, but it’s a layer of warmth and protection. You pull on the ends of the cloth to cover yourself. You hardly ever wear his things, it’s nice to be wrapped up in his warm clothing. You try to take a step but it hurts too much.

You gasp and almost fall. Jiraiya catches you and slowly leads you to the ground where you rest on your knees. You cry out and cling onto him. All your wounds seem to have their own heartbeat. They pulse and flare in pain. You nuzzle against him for comfort.

“What’s wrong?” He pulled you against his lap to keep you close. It’s hard to find a place to hold you, since all of you is covered in cuts.

“It’s just the bottoms of my feet. I can’t walk on them.” You explain. You sigh against his chest. You sneak your hands under his kosode to hug him properly. His skin was warm and you could feel it through the netted armour shirt he wears.

“Why? What happened?”

“They cut them open so I couldn’t walk.”

“What?!”

You whine in complaint when Jiraiya tosses you on your ass and grabs your feet to inspect. You scowl at him and cross your arms. Sure they don’t look the greatest, but he doesn’t have to be such a big baby about it. You cringe when he pulls on the edge of a wound and it pulls on the rend open flesh. There’s blood and dirt mixed in your wounds and it stung.

“Why did you move? It couldn’t have been worth it.” Jiraiya asked.

“I had to see you and let you know I was alright.” You smile at him. You even laugh a little. “I know how you can get when it comes to me, sweetie.”

He pouts with a perfect little frown and his cheeks turn pink. It just confirmed that he went overboard trying to look for you. He’s a big dork. He’s an even bigger dork when it comes to you. He was always very protective. That’s one thing that never changed. Even before you started dating, you could always count on Jiraiya to have your back. You were taken hostage before many years ago, but no one knew who you were dating at the time. It was simply to get answers as the war was raging in those years. He saved you that time too, but he was calm, collected, even a little sassy. But this time, you were hurt because of your tie to your husband. They hurt you to hurt him. Jiraiya was good at hiding how he felt, but it was easy to see how much that bothered him. He kept looking over your wounds with sorrow and guilt. It’s not his fault but he was blaming himself. But he won’t ever tell you that. You could just read it in his face. He was willing to murder a man in cold blood for harming you. He was willing to take down an already defeated enemy simply because he loves you so much and anyone who dare hurt you must fall. He must really love you to go so far.

“Take me home.” You reach towards him in a silent way to ask him to pick you up. You spread your legs around his and grin. “Then just take me!”

Jiraiya finally smiled and even chuckled quietly. You’ve been with him for too long if you make jokes like that. He pulled you back onto his lap. Your body was pressed against his. You purr and grind against him. He cups a handful of your ass while you caress his jawline while kissing him. He mutters your name and squeezes your butt before pulling away.

“What are you doing?” You ask.

You watch Jiraiya bite his thumb. His hands are behind your back as he weaves signs. He places his hand on the wall beside him. The cave walls turned pink and fleshy. It’s soft and slimy along your legs. Ah, the stomach of a toad. A comfortable and familiar place. You’ve been in one many times. It convulsed and partly absorbed the unconscious man to keep him detained. Eventually he woke up. And was grossly subjected to you cuddling and making out with Jiraiya in front of him during the whole journey home.

“Just don’t get to cozy!... freaks.” The prisoner complained.

Jiraiya turned to him and smiled a sickly sweet smile. “If you keep opening your big mouth you’ll die~!”

You giggle. It’s such a rare thing to see Jiraiya hold onto some seething anger. It’s slightly funny since he’s usually the bigger person. You hold onto him as tightly as you could to keep him from harassing the man. Your hug and presence calms him down. You nuzzle into his chest and find it easy to fall asleep. You’re still tired and sore. You’re in the comfortable embrace of the man you love. He won’t let anything happen while you rest.

You woke up in hospital. Your wounds wrapped up tightly in bandages. Your husband asleep in a chair beside the bed you’re resting in. He had his arms crossed and had his leg crossed over the other. His head was bowed and all together the position didn’t look that comfortable. You woke him up by throwing the straw from your water cup at him. It’s dark out, so you know it’s past visiting hours. It seems someone pulled some strings to let him stay with you. You’ll have to thank Tsunade later for bending the rules.

“Did you just throw something at me?” Jiraiya asked. He was bleary eyed and sleepy. He rubbed the wet spot on his cheek, where the straw landed.

“Yup.” You chirped with a smile. You reach towards him and beckon him to come over. “I want to cuddle with my big giant husband.”

He smiled and got up. You scooted over and he laid down beside you. You wrap an arm around his torso and set your head against his chest. He held you tightly and securely against him. Jiraiya yawned loudly. These beds always kinda sucked, but cuddling you made it feel like the most comfortable thing in the world. He fell back asleep quickly. You took a bit longer to find sleep again. You enjoyed the first real moment of peace you’ve had in a week. The little moment of just being back home, in your man’s arms, listening to his heartbeat and breathing, letting his warmth soak into your body. You love it. You nuzzle your face against his neck before closing your eyes.

As you heal, Jiraiya really stepped up to take care of you. He didn’t mind. He was good at tending your wounds. He cleaned them when they needed and didn’t shy away from the ointment. Every time he finished a section and tied off the bandages, he would plant a kiss on it. He really liked playing doctor since you were naked in front of him everyday. As if it was somehow different from the norm. He made a point to call you beautiful and kiss you every time you inspected the new scars. He gave you piggyback rides everywhere to keep you off of your healing feet. He would curl his shoulders up to hide his neck as you found the ticklish spot on his neck and kiss it. You even got him to laugh and spasm so hard from it he almost fell over from the tickles. He’d shudder when you whisper things against his ear in public. You’d lick and bite his ear to tease him. The grip on your thighs got tighter and you could see the smile on his face.

Jiraiya dropped you off on the bed. He’s smirking about something as he pulls open your clothes and inspects. He spreads your thighs apart and hums thoughtfully. As if he were a wise scholar looking upon an old tome that held many secrets. His finger on his chin as he looks over your body. He bends over you and puts his hand against your sex.

“Do you need any ointment down here?” He asked in his usual flirtatious purr.

“Jiraiya! Stop it!” You try to whine, but you can’t stop laughing.

“I’m just trying to take care of you, baby!”

He’s making obscene sexual noises while his fingers play around between your legs. You squirm, giggle, and cry out in giddy pleasure as he teases you in the most ridiculous way. Jiraiya pinned you underneath him while he showered you in his weird funny love. He was so relieved and happy to hear you laugh again.

You hold fistfuls of his hair and kiss him for a very long time. He fell silent to focus on giving you the best kiss ever. It felt so much better now that it felt like he lost you and gained you all over again. You wrap your legs around his waist and bite his lip. He hummed happily in question at the suggestion. His face lit up when you pulled on his clothes. Never a shy man, especially with you, Jiraiya dives right in. You cling onto your husband as he rocks your world. Yep. Life was back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I would try my hand at one of the classics, which was also suggested to me like weeks ago but I just couldn’t throw something together in my head until now. Hoped you enjoyed my lovelies.


	22. Sensei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! Under aged!  
> You’ve fallen in love with your teacher. He’s done so much for you and he’s so unique and perfect. Jiraiya has been acting odd around you the last month, giving you hope he felt the same. He agreed to spar with you and it quickly gets out of hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For real tho totally understand if you ain’t into this shit dear reader. But we all got our fantasies. Figure I should cater to all. And this would be like a Minato era type is situation. With the implication that you are apart of team Jiraiya when he got his team at about the age of 26. This is a few years after of course making him about 32-34. Kinky! You know we all into that older man thing.

You can’t look away. You’re stuck. Just staring into his eyes. Your heart pounding. Your nerves tingling as they expected to be touched. They want to be touched. You want it. You want your teacher. You’re pinned against a tree by him. Your wrists in his hands. The bark digging into your back he’s pressed so hard against you but you don’t care. In fact, you really like it.

Jiraiya can’t look away. He can’t move. He could feel the rush of blood and excitement to his groin. It felt dirty. He’s dirty. You’re a kid man come on! You’re half his age. You’re his student. His sixteen year old student! He shouldn’t be thinking about you like this. But he is. He has for weeks. He’s resisted and refused for weeks. His willpower is wearing down. He lowers his gaze to your lips. They’re parted as you pant. He swallows back the urge to kiss them. He’s panting too. He should’ve caught his breath by now but he doesn’t want to. He wants to be selfish and just hold onto you. Be close to you for a few more minutes.

“Sensei...” You whisper so quietly he almost doesn’t catch it.

He opens his mouth to say something, to excuse his behaviour, but he can’t think of anything. He’s never wanted a woman this badly before. He wants you to the point where it’s maddening. And badly enough to have dreams about it. So detailed about everything he wants to do to you he hadn’t been able to look you in the eyes the past week. It’s shameful. He ought to be locked away for being such a pervert.

He never should have agreed to spar with you. But he’s been so cold with you recently due to his lustful crush on you. He kept his distance for his sake and yours. He left the room when you came in. He took several steps back when you stood next to him. He barely spoke to you and when he did he kept it short. But he felt bad. You always looked so hurt and sad when he behaved like a stranger rather than your teacher. He didn’t want you to think he hated or abandoned you. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Surly a quick lesson won’t do any harm! Oh how wrong he was.

“Oh Sensei.” You moan and rock your hips against his.

Jiraiya fails to bite back a moan. Fuck that sounded good. Fuck that felt good. He pushed back. Rolling his hips against yours slowly as he relishes in the feeling. He could feel every curve of your body as you press against him. He just wants to rip your clothes off and have his way.

“Do something!” You were getting desperate. You toss your head back and cry out in frustration as you grind yourself against him. “Fuck me! Fuck me, Sensei!”

You were cut off from any more pleas by Jiraiya’s lips. He held them against yours. You moan and whine against them. It feels amazing. You’re finally kissing him! The grip on your wrists completely drops. You clutch fistfuls of his shirt while his hands grasp your ass. This ass he’s thought about groping, spanking, and poking for weeks. He squeezes and kneads the tender flesh in his hands. He rocks your hips against his as he makes out with you. All of it felt so good. So right but so wrong. His heart was pounding in his chest from just doing this. He’s wanted it for so long.

It was blissful. Kissing your long time crush. You’ve thought about kissing Jiraiya since the day you met him. It was a simple little preteen crush at first. He was the first real male presence in your life. He helped you with so much. Your confidence grew with his influence. You could always count on Jiraiya-sensei’s support. He stuck around and made you laugh when you needed it. He gave you extra attention when you fell behind. As you got older, you began to clue into your affections.

Puberty was a weird bitch. You realized that you don’t just idolize him as a teacher, but want him sexually. The crush transitioned from seeing Jiraiya as a really cool dude with a nice face, big tall body, and charming personality to a really beautiful man. With all those features and more. A man that will treat you right and fuck you so good. He’d make a good partner.You held out with the blind hope he’ll return your affections. And you barely have an idea what you are wanting. All you really know is you wanted him.

In the meanwhile, Jiraiya was having an existential crisis. The more mature you got, the weirder it got for him. Only in the last year did he begin to find you attractive. You developed quite the figure. And he wanted to jump off a bridge. He should be arrested. He really is a pervert. For weeks he had dreams and fantasies. He’s touched himself imagining your face and bit pillows to muffle moans of your name. He found excuses to touch you or get close. He even stole one of your shirts just to have your smell around when he rubbed one out. It’s all so wrong. And he lost his self control.

You made it obvious what you wanted. Finding any excuse to touch him. Or showing up to outings with your team wearing flirty outfits. Anything low cut got you all kinds of attention. The teenage boys on your team certainly appreciated it. And Jiraiya had to bury his jealousy from all the attention you got. So well that you didn’t know he felt this way. You aren’t his girl. You’re just his student... well... not anymore. He’s going to make you his. He wants you to be his.

“No... No I shouldn’t be doing this.” Jiraiya didn’t muster up much fight. It was more like an unfiltered reminder from his brain that he’s doing something bad. He caresses your neck and angles your head. He kissed the side of your neck. Your skin tasted so good. “Why do I want you so badly?”

“Because I want you! I want you, Sensei!” You were already so needy. You are sure you can feel a bulge against your crotch. God this was driving you crazy. “I want your cock! I want you fuck me silly!”

He still felt breathless. Has someone ever wanted him this badly? He can’t recall. Jiraiya stroked his hands up your back. He groped your breasts. He squeezed and kneaded them in a circle before moving on. You are making such amazing noises. You’re so excited over such small touches. You cry out and moan as you continue to grind against him. He gripped the end of your shirt and took it off. You help him take off his. Fuck he’s so pretty. Buff and almost flawless. The netted armour shirt he still had on was tight against his skin. It left little to the imagination. Little nicks and scars decorated his torso. It reflected his years of experience as a fighter. Not that it made him any less attractive. He looked good. He ripped your bra off. You stick your chest out to present your breasts.

“You’ve got a nice set on you.” Jiraiya complimented.

A sense of pride fills you. He likes how you look. It felt good too. His hands cupped and kneaded them again. He was loving every moment of it. You gasp when he pinched each nipple. It’s not a hard pinch, so it didn’t hurt. You jumped from the feeling. It’s new. They start to harden under his fingers. He smiles at your reaction. He likes playing with you.

“Have you ever done this before?” He asked with a bemused smile. “Do you play with yourself?”

“Only to the thought of you!” You answer eagerly. You grip his shoulders tightly as you look over his body. “For so long I’ve imagined my fingers were yours. Pumping in and out of me... fucking me so good I don’t stop cumming.” You slide your hands down his chest, down his abs, and you tickle his waistline where his pants are. “Am I finally going to know what that feels like? To be yours?”

His hands travel down too. He grabs the sides of your pants. “You’ll know what’s it’s like. And guess what?” Jiraiya paused to kiss you. He pulled your pants down your hips. “You’re going to love it.”

You can’t resist licking your lips. That sounds good. The cool dusk air hit your legs. Jiraiya hummed. He was down between your legs since he pulled your pants down to your ankles. You shift around meekly as he’s eye level with your crotch. No one has ever seen you naked, it made you a little nervous as he looked over your sex slowly. He hummed a quiet laugh at your reaction before standing up. He squeezes and rubs your thighs before finally moving on to that lovely ass of yours. He gave it a few firm squeezes, still loving how it felt in his hands. 

“Very pretty. You grew up into a fine woman.” He said with a happy purr.

He stepped back just to pull off the rest of his clothing. He’s beautiful. Fit and... big. This man was going to wreck you. You hold onto his shoulders and eagerly hook a leg around his waist. His fingers pushed instead of his cock. It still felt good. Enough to moan and go stiff.

“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” Jiraiya asked. He looks amused by your eagerness. He thrusts his fingers in and out. He quite likes the sounds you make as a result. He already knows the answer, but it’s a thrill to know he’s your first. “I can’t wait to take you.”

Oh yes. He never knew he wanted something like this until it was presented to him. This was turning into a fantasy straight out of one of his dreams. His young hot student, virginal and eager for him to take. All with the added thrill of being in the middle of an outside training field. He squished his body against yours. His fingers moved faster. It was driving you crazy. You hold onto him tightly as he fingers you so roughly. His lips attack your neck. Wet kisses are placed all over the skin. His tongue darts out to lick you. It’s wet and leaves a trail in its wake.

“I’ve never had a virgin before.” Jiraiya’s voice had gotten husky. This is the most excited he’s gotten for foreplay. “I’m excited to set your standards.”

“I don’t want anyone else!” You yelled out. You can’t control the volume of your voice. You’re too excited to be quiet. “Just you, Sensei! I want you!”

“Is that what you really want?” He pulled his fingers out and grabbed the back of your thighs. You wrapped your other leg around him. “To be my woman?”

“Yes! Only yours! Ah!” You cry out when his cock pushed all the way in.

It’s unfamiliar. It’s odd. You writhe and adjust yourself until the small bit of pain faded. The bark of the tree dug into your back as he relied on its support to hold you. Jiraiya kissed you. It muffled all your moans. Good lord you are tight. It’s one of the greatest things he’s felt. This is the best thing he’s ever done! You moan and yipe as he thrusts. Your hands struggle to find a place to settle as your mind was completely focused on sex you’re getting. It feels very good! This is everything you hoped it would be.

You can’t take in a proper breath as you desperately make out with your dear teacher. His tongue ran over yours. It poked and prodded against yours. It explored every little spot. You gag on it a little when it shoots down your throat.

“Sorry.” Jiraiya pulled back. He swallowed heavily and smiled. He’s flushed across his cheeks and even the tip of his nose is a little bit pink. “I’ll train your gag reflex next time we do this.”

You smile. That sounded like good fun. You can’t wait to be his well trained little girl. Maybe he’ll take you home and keep you after this. That’d be pretty wonderful. You are dropped on your shaky legs and flipped over. You hug the tree. Your nails dig into the bark as Jiraiya grabbed your hips. The tip of his cock breached your entrance. He rubbed your hips and along the line where your legs meet your pelvis. You’re breathing heavily and you keep shifting. You look pretty good at this angle. Your ass is nice to look at. Your back is arched and he can barely see your eye as your head is turned to watch. He spanks and holds your ass. You squeaked in response. He smiles before continuing. You cry out when he brought his hips to your skin, forcing you to take the entire length of his cock again.

“You take it well! Are you sure this is your first time?” He joked between his heavy panting. 

“Oh~?” Your voice is breathy and weak. This feels so good you can barely compose words. You roll your hips in motion to his thrusts. Jiraiya moans in response, it turned you on more to hear it. You made him do that! Fuck, you could make him do that all day it sounded so good. “Only because it’s you, Sensei!”

He pauses. He sighs, smiles, and runs his hands up your sides. You are hot to the touch and sweat is rolling off of you. He bends over to give the back of your neck a kiss. Your inner walls are pulsating and squeezing him. You must be close. He bites and licks your ear.

“Say my name.” He whispered in your ear. “I want to hear you say it.”

You’ve never called Jiraiya just by his name before. You always respected him as your teacher. Even when you spent hours starting at him and imagining how he would fuck you. He would interrupt your daydream and you would still refer to him has sensei even when you were flushed and had just finished imagining what it would be like to have his cock between your thighs. But now you don’t have to. He’s not just your teacher anymore! You drag your nails down the bark of the trees. You swallow the flood of saliva in your mouth. A sharp thrust made you cry out again. A ripple effect ran over your butt and spine. His finger nails dig into your skin. He’s getting excited by the idea.

“Say it, baby! Scream my name in pleasure!” He was eager to hear it.

Your muscles knot in your core. You feel your legs tense to the point of strenuous. The sensation builds more and more. Your cheek presses against the tree as you are pushed against it with the increasing force of his thrusts. You open your mouth before you lose the ability to speak. You’re so close to cumming.

“Jiraiya!” You cry out with all your might. Your voice echoes around the training ground it’s so loud.

There it is! Jiraiya grins. That was such a turn on. You’re perfect. Cute and vocal~! Beautiful and perfect. He’s having great fun doing you. He keeps himself moving for the duration of your climax. You keep making the greatest noises as you gush so hard he can feel it hit his thighs. Your legs are as shaky as jello on a one legged table in the middle of an earthquake by the time it is over.

“Oh... whoa!” Jiraiya was caught off guard as you completely lose your footing.

He caught you before you face plant. He kept your body pinned against his to avoid you getting a face full of splinters. He sits on his knees with your legs folded around his. You sigh as the strain is off of your legs. The soft grass was easy on the skin and you lay back on his chest. It stretched the tension in your stomach. It was blissful as every abdomen muscle contracted and coiled when you came. All of you is so shaky from the stimulation. And it’s far from over. His cock his still hard and deep inside of you.

“Can you keep going?” He surprised you with the question. His hands slowly and gently stroke up and down your sides. It tickled along your ribs in a pleasant sensation. He even pecks the side of your neck. It just felt so affectionate and loving. He’s a considerate lover. 

“Y... Yes.” You say quietly.

“You don’t have to, you know. If it feels weird now I get it.”

You shake your head. You spread your legs to sink down as low as possible onto his cock. You arch your back to lay against him with your head on his shoulder. “I want you to fuck my brains out. I want to take your load until it all trails down my thighs and I’m sticky like syrup.” You moan in his ear.

Even from your awkward your angle, you can see Jiraiya’s eyes widen when you said that. He licks his lips. Well alright then. That seemed to convince him that you’re okay. His hands settle back down on your hips. He guided you to move. Pushing you up and down until you got the rhythm of it. You took over but his hands stayed. It was slower. Your sensitive body could enjoy itself without getting overstimulated. Your aware of every inch of him moving in and out of you. You raise a hand up and caressed your hand around the back of his neck and into his hair. You grip a fistful of his hair. You sigh and nuzzle your face against his neck. He’s hot and smells good. Like sex and cedar trees.

“Oh... Jiraiya.” You whispered. “This feels good.”

“I’m glad.” His voice was quiet as well. “I don’t like it when my girl isn’t enjoying herself.”

You smile. He’s oddly sweet at the strangest of times. You like hearing him call you his girl. You rock your hips in a big circle before grinding down against his lap. You moan against his ear from the feeling and another wave washes over you. One of his fingers plays with your clit to keep you going. He puts kisses on your shoulder and neck. He moans when you gush all over his dick again.

“I love you...” The words slip out of you.

Jiraiya tenses. He stammers your name. You straighten out to sitting straight up. His reaction made you feel silly. But still.... you know how you feel. You got off just enough to turn around and remount him. He looked a little stunned. 

“I know I’m young.” You start off. You resume riding him at the slow pace he set. You kiss him desperately. You hold the back of his neck and kiss him over and over. His lips barely react as he seemed unsure. “But I know what I want. I want you. You make me happy Jiraiya.”

“Are you sure that’s love?” He chuckled ever so softly. He kissed you back finally. His hands press on your lower back. You moan as you were pulled closer to him, with your hips out and pressed against him. “And that you aren’t just horny as fuck for me?”

“Yes. I want to spend every moment with you.” You lock him in another kiss. You love holding him and kissing him. You could do it for your whole life. “I want to be your girlfriend. I want to love you and do everything that boyfriends and girlfriends do.”

After a moment, Jiraiya pulls you back and sighs. He kisses you. He really likes kissing you. There’s no point in fighting it anymore. He sorta gave up that right the moment he felt something more for you. He’s fallen in love with his student. And he still feels twisted for feeling the way he does. But the sick feeling diminishes the longer he does this with you. Surely anything that feels this good can’t be bad! He hasn’t felt this way about someone in many years. It’s just so unfortunate that you’re the age you are. He finds himself not caring so much anymore. You feel too good and he wants to do this forever. He wants to protect you and protect how he feels. The last time he fell in love, it ended with his heart aching for what he can’t have. He wants you. He can have you. Can’t he be selfish for once and do the wrong thing?

You gasp when he lifts you up and sets you on your back on the ground. He holds your hips still as he thrusts. He picks up speed and you react accordingly. You moan and arch your back. Your hands dig into the ground and uproot the grass. Your eyes are locked with his and you are searching his face for what he wants. A smile pulls on his lips. It’s small and even shy, but it’s there.

“And you’re sure you want me? A man twice your age.” Jiraiya asked you. His tone was almost amused, but it was too quiet and even to ring genuine. He must really make sure this is what you want. “I can’t offer you the same things as a man your age can.”

“No one is like you.” You say. You smile but it’s quickly interrupted into a hitched gasp when he goes faster. You hold onto his shoulders as your whole body bounces with the force of it. “And that’s what makes you so special! I want you! Jiraiya! Jiraiya!” You cry his name as he fucks you harder.

It’s still odd to hear you say just his name, but he loves hearing it. The way your face contorts in pleasure as you scream it makes him way too excited. And oh boy is it fun to make you cum over and over. He leaned down and held you in a kiss. You moved your arms to wrap around his neck and hold him there. He grunts against your mouth and his hips break pace as he thrusts as hard as he could. It buried as deep as possible inside of you and the unfamiliar sensation of being filled with his cum flooded your insides. Well, knowing him, it won’t be unfamiliar for long. 

You gasp in some much needed air when Jiraiya rolls off of you. He’s just as breathless as you were. You laid in the grass, panting heavily. He was in the same position as you. On his back with his limbs spread out as he caught his breath. The cool night air dropped your overheated temperature almost immediately. The chirps of crickets began to grow in volume the later it gets. You stare at the navy sky as the darkness continues to fall. The stars are shining and they never looked prettier.

“If we’re going to do this,” Jiraiya broke the quiet with his even and calm voice, “then we can’t tell anyone.” He looked over at you and held your gaze with a serious furrow to his face. “You know that right? What we did was wrong.”

“I know. I don’t care how wrong it is.” You roll over. You are tired and sore from the activity you just did, but you don’t care. You crawled over to him and rest your head on his chest. “I’ll do anything to be with you.”

You look over every bit of him that was available to see. His face was still a little flushed. His expression wasn’t so serious anymore. He was smiling and happy. He looks so handsome when he’s smiling. You hope to only make him smile. Especially if it’s such a warm and loving smile like that. His hand brushed your hair away from your face. His fingers are gentle. They run over your cheek and lips. You smile as he brushes his thumb over your lips. You like these gentle touches. You hope to fall asleep to these touches everyday.

“Will you stay with me tonight? My bed will be lonely without you in it.” He asked with a wink.

Your heart flutters with excitement. “Yes! Of course I’ll come!”

Jiraiya relaxes. He feels relieved for some reason. He’s not sure why, but he just didn’t want you to leave. He wants you to stay by his side. Yeah.... he’s going to do the wrong thing. You’re his girl for the foreseeable future. His girlfriend and dirty little secret. Yes, he is a deplorable pervert for doing this. But at this point, he wants to be loved and wanted like how you clearly feel about him. The consequences don’t matter anymore. He feels the same about you. He just didn’t realize what he felt for you was love until today. He’s in too deep and he knows that. The moment he gave in and kissed you was the moment it was all too late to turn back. And he’s got a good feeling that he’s doing something right, no matter how much the world tells him he’s wrong.

You took your time getting dressed while he waited for you. He looked around the area to make sure no one witnessed that. Thank goodness the coast was clear. You walk side by side with him back into the village. His hand would brush against yours and he’d smirk at your giddy reaction. No one was the wiser, but it was still thrilling to think. You’re beside your lover, not your teacher. Once inside his apartment, Jiraiya locked the door and smiled deviously at you.

He leans down to give you a kiss. His hand run over your body and he grabs the hem of your shirt. He smiled suddenly and laughed.

“Oh, I forgot to say!” Jiraiya was cheery. He smooched you again before continuing. “I love you too!”

You beam a wide smile at him. He throws off your shirt and you are happy to squish against him. You rub your legs together. It’s a little uncomfortable to be wearing all these layers with him around. Especially as they are soaked with a mixture of your cum and his. You giggle with excitement as Jiraiya leads you to the bedroom, tossing off clothes as he does so. You got a feeling you won’t be sleeping much tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A mix of wholesome but not wholesome. Where our dear reader spends a few years sneaking around with her teacher doing all the wrong things together. It might be interesting enough to do a sequel but idk where to go with it.


	23. The Girl in the Water Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a wild year since you and Jiraiya had gotten together. Much has happened, including learning exactly the type of terror your powers hold. You amaze him again with the other more gentle things your connection with water can do. It inspires him to ask you something important.

Currently, it was the middle of the night. You had shaken Jiraiya awake. He whined and groaned as you dragged him out of bed. Even louder did he bitch when you threw his clothes at him before taking him outside. The cold yucky outside. It’s bleak and brown. It’s gross out and he’s a little mad about it.

“It’s the first snow!” You insisted.

He just raised a brow in doubt. Are you crazy? There hasn’t been a lick of snow all winter. The sky is dark with clouds, sure, but it’s clear of any flakes.

“Babe... it’s not going to snow.” Jiraiya was a tad grumpy. He gestured to the sky. “It’s never going to! We’re going to have a gross ugly brown holiday sea-!” A delicate white flake landed on his nose. He looks up at the sky. More white flakes are floating down from the sky. “Son....” He finished quietly.

Jiraiya stared at you. Wo... wow. You are just... wow. Your power goes beyond just controlling the water on the ground. You can predict weather too! You can do so much. He’s seen you do so much. He knew of the less peaceful nature of your power... but he wished it was only the peaceful dance he’s seen you preform and nothing more. Oh yes, he’s seen the deadly potential of your powers. He still blames himself since he pushed you to go.

The mission he took you on went badly. You took Tsunade’s place in the team formation for your healing ability and your loving supportive boyfriend wanted you to get some experience. You never been outside the village borders! You were excited. You trusted your team to protect you. But it didn’t end up going that way. There was an ambush waiting at the border shared with the Land of Rain. Jiraiya was hurt and dazed, but he remembered what happened so clearly.

He was slumped against a tree. Blood blurring his vision as the gash on his head bled heavily. The nasty head injury had left him disoriented. He was trying desperately to regain his senses. The world keep tilting back and forth in his vision as he squinted. He was trying hard to focus on what was ahead. You. You were ahead. You stood guard in front of him to protect him until he was back on his feet. Orochimaru was engaged with one of the three people who had launched the attack. You stood stiffly. You kept looking back to Jiraiya with worry. He was bleeding badly and you hated to see him hurt. Something in you snapped. The need to protect the person you love was too strong.

Jiraiya watched in growing horror. You shot your hands out towards one of the enemy ninja. Their body contorted in pain. They screamed in absolute agony as their limbs bent beyond their control. You were controlling them. Your years of medical knowledge came to use. You knew every muscle, vein, organ, and bone. You manipulated the water in the human body to bend to your will. You’ve done it before to heal. But it was a deadly force when used as an attack. It was unnatural and horrible. It looked ripped out of a horror movie. As their body twitched and writhed in an attempt to resist your control. You were in a dramatic stance. Arms in an ark. One above your head with your fingers spread out and curled into hooks. The other out in front of you with your hand turned to the sky with fingers pointed out. Each finger did something different. Your palms did separate commands from your fingers. You were twisting this person’s body with the slightest move of your hand. With a flick of the wrist you could probably rip a human up from the inside out.

Everyone was frozen at the display of your power. All of them watching you show exactly what you are capable of. You are the direct descendent of Tobirama Senju. And you had just reminded the world of that. You are a force of nature that shouldn’t be reckoned with. It’s like challenging a title wave while only in a small row boat in the middle of a raging sea. It didn’t suit you. Yes, you have an amazing power. It should never be used in anger. Jiraiya likes it when your water style jutsu was like a tranquil pool or hot spring. It reflected you best as a calm body of water that was easy to sink into and healed the body’s deepest aches. Where it was warm and comfortable. The type of pool that was fine to jump in from the get go. Not this cold tirade of ice water that seemed to latch onto the very bone and kills all with hypothermia. And once the cold had taken it’s toll, a rush of waves would hammer the heads of those who dared challenge it and leave them all to drown but an inch below the surface.

Jiraiya fought the vertigo and exhaustion. He was dizzy and uneasy on his feet. But he had to get to you. He didn’t like seeing you like this. The anger you felt was so strong that the rain that the enemy ninja had casted was suspended. You were so strong you were overtaking the elemental jutsu of someone else. It’s powerful, scary, and terrifying. These things don’t reflect the woman he loves. You are too compassionate for battle. Anyone who harms the people you love must fall. While he loves your big heart, you shouldn’t compromise your nature and morality just because he got hurt. He ran to you and squished you in a hug from behind.

“Stop it... please.” He weakly begged. This wasn’t you. This isn’t his soft spoken loving girlfriend. This isn’t like the gentle soul he fell in love with.

The poor ninja whose body you were torturing relaxed. You had dropped your stance. They laid in a bloody heap on the ground and you stared for a long time. You burst into tears and clung onto Jiraiya for comfort. He gladly gave it to you. He hugged and kissed you. He banished your tears by wiping them away. It was all going to be okay.

“I just wanted to protect you!” You sobbed.

“I know, baby, I know. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Jiraiya spoke lovingly to you. He petted your head and kissed you. He exchanged a look with Orochimaru, who was boring holes into your back with his intense gaze.

It’s been two months since then. You were scared to go on any more missions. You liked your quiet life as a medic. You liked staying in the hospital and helping people with your powers. You don’t want to hurt people. And the person you want to take care of most, was Jiraiya. He had a concussion because you failed to protect him. Although, he kindly reminds you that you forced a man into involuntary yoga because you were so mad he was hurt. It was never your fault, he always told you that. 

You love him so much. You did everything you could to take care of him. He was on medical leave until his concussion symptoms had passed. It was honestly really nice to have Jiraiya home all the time. You’d come home from your hospital shift to your happy housebound boyfriend. He made you meals and greeted you at the door with a ‘honey, you’re home’ before squeezing you in a hug. In his opinion, the concussion wasn’t so bad since he got to stay home all day. For once, his life was pretty relaxed. He sat around in his underwear all day. He wrote several pages of dribbling thoughts a day out of boredom. He learned how to make food from one of the cooking books you had. It was so rewarding to make something and have it turn out good. He was a full on bachelor before this and didn’t know how to cook for shit. It felt good to have his beautiful woman came home everyday ready to give him attention and eat the food he made.

Speaking of his beautiful woman, Jiraiya smiles happily as he watches you. This is how he likes to see you. Content. Gorgeous. Your eyes on the dark sky as you watch the flakes come down. You look mythical in the snow. It’s like you summoned it yourself. You belong among the flakes as they reflect your personality. They are gentle. They sparkle even in the dimmest of lights, catching the smallest ray and reflecting it like white gemstones. They fly around freely and without care, unbothered by what was around them. So few people truly see their unique beauty unless they take the time to catch one and look closely at what a fragile but beautifully designed thing nature had crafted. The rare beauty of the snow... yes that fits you.

The timing just felt right. You have been dating Jiraiya for over a year. It was going well. Very well! Jiraiya was a great partner. He was supportive and affectionate. He helped you with training and encouraged you to try new things with it. You have exchanged the ‘I love you’s and spent nights talking about the future. Where you learned he wanted at least three children. This was meant to be. You’re meant to be his. And he’s meant to be yours...

Plus... there was something that was bothering Jiraiya. He loves you and expresses that clearly to you and his friends. Yet ever since the mission, Orochimaru has been acting... weird. The man was blatantly hitting on you with Jiraiya in the room and in ear shot. You didn’t tell your dear boyfriend for a month because you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. But he caught on quickly. It hurt. He didn’t like seeing his friend hitting on his girlfriend. Then when he brings it up, to have said friend behave like an ass. Orochimaru was tapping into the inner narcissist and claimed he was way better than Jiraiya. And that there was still a chance, since you’re only dating Jiraiya. It’s not like you’re married. You didn’t like it. Jiraiya really didn’t like it. Especially since Orochimaru only became interesting in you when you displayed the deadly power you had. It felt like you only became beautiful and useful to him because you had something to offer to potential offspring. You assured Orochimaru that any potential offspring you were having was going to be with Jiraiya. Because Jiraiya noticed you when no one else did. He loved you for you.

You never wanted it to happen, but you drove a wedge between the two men as Orochimaru continues to hit on you and Jiraiya was pissed at him. They often argued about it. Orochimaru never believed that Jiraiya was really in love. Which turned into a yelling match as Jiraiya viciously arguing with his teammate about you. It was so frustrating. Especially since Orochimaru would simply smile in disbelief and confidence that he still had a fair chance to get you. It was time to take the next step. And prove to everyone Jiraiya was deeply in love. Because he is. And maybe you’ll stopped being harassed by his friend. Although, ‘friend’ was beginning to sound like a stretch. He feels offended that someone would so brazenly hit on his girlfriend and expect him to be a doormat about it. And he’s willing to accept an apology or cut someone out of his life. He loves you. He’s committed and would want nothing more than to call you his wife. No one else would be a better partner to you. This whole situation was the extra motivation he needed to pop the question.

A call of your name caught your attention. You turn around. Your eyes widen. Jiraiya was down on one knee. He was looking at you with a soft smile. A light blush was on his cheeks. He looked nice in the falling snow. It matched his hair. You can see the small flakes on his white hair like a lace overlay. There were some resting on his eye laches. A small laugh moves his shoulders and his breath was now visible as it came out with a puff.

“I... don’t have a ring yet.” Jiraiya admitted. He can’t stop smiling. This just feels right. “But I can’t wait any longer. I love you. I want to marry you. I want to spend my whole life with you... Do you want that?”

Oh... wow. You sink to your knees before him. This came sooner than you thought it would. You hold him tightly. You kiss him passionately. Of course you’d marry him! There’s nothing else in the world you would want more.

“Is that a yes?” He asked.

“Yes! Yes I want to marry you!” You laugh. You’re just so happy!

Oh thank god! A flood of relief washed over Jiraiya. While he had no doubts, he was still nervous to ask. It’s just one of those taboo things. Asking such a big life changing question is bound to make most people nervous. He held you and showered you in kisses. You giggle under all of his affection. You try to return them but you miss most of them and cover his cheeks with kisses. He grabbed the back of your neck and held you in place. This kiss was deeper. You shut your eyes and focus on the feeling of it. It felt good. You can’t stop giggling. Even against his lips your laughing because of the mix of happiness and nerves.

“I love you!” You exclaim.

“I love you too!” Jiraiya returns. He picked you up. He stood up with you in his arms. “Looks like we got something to celebrate!”

“Oh?” You question. You raise a brow. “How do you plan to do that? You’re still on a light activity order.”

“Sex isn’t heavy activity!”

“Yes it is.”

“Not if you’re on top!”

You shake your head. Jiraiya is such a goof. He takes you back inside. He tosses you on the bed and crawls on beside you. He whines when you check the stitches in his head rather than kiss him. You peck your fiancé’s forehead and tell him to go to bed. Eventually, Jiraiya does settle down and falls asleep. He tried to heckle you a little and teased you by kissing your neck. It didn’t last long, he was tired. You pet his head to help him asleep. He’s smiling as he drifts into unconsciousness. You’re going to marry this man. This man... the one love of your life. The person who noticed you when no one else did. Jiraiya... Your Jiraiya for life. Your soon to be husband and father to your children. You close your eyes but you are too excited to rest easy. You can’t stop thinking of the future. And what a fun future it will be!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grats on the bloodbending fam.  
> This is kinda just a fluffy thing. A set up for some more good times and even some bad. Just saying creepy snake man is plotting in the shadows.


	24. Toad Mode Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After you and Jiraiya had a little fun with sage mode, he convinces you to try it. The next thing you know, you are training with a bunch of toads and gain a sage transformation yourself. And it is really turning your perverted husband on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: rough sex. Biting, blood, scratching, hair pulling, a lil primal, dominating, and messy.  
> Y’all know we like it messy!  
> Honestly I didn’t expect to write a sequel for this but the idea came to mind suddenly and I just cranked it out.

After the day you had banged Jiraiya in sage mode, he was insistent you learn as well. Despite being his wife, you actually haven’t signed any contract with any sort of summoning animals. He was assuring you that you would make an excellent summoner. You work well with him, so your skills shouldn’t be so hard to transfer over. You agreed and signed up to be a sage.

The Two Great Toad Sages. How romantic! It sounds like some sort of high level dungeon boss. The woman who fights by her husband in battle. Jiraiya’s other half that was just as ferocious as he was in a fight. This is just what you need to step up your game. 

It meant spending some time on Mount Myōboku. You devoted yourself to sage training. You spent months meditating and focusing. It was difficult sometimes. All because Jiraiya did everything to distract you. It felt like you were married to a five year old sometimes. He would lean against one of the many stone structures and stare at you. He’d make funny faces at you. He stood behind Fukasaku and mimicked the sage toad’s movements in a mocking way. Or just do a dramatic strip tease. He’d make oh faces at you while ripping open his shirt, arching his back, and swinging his hair. When you would giggle at him, the toad would whip around and smack Jiraiya with the stick he wielded to beat the chakra out of his student.

“Ow! You’re supposed to hit her not me!” Jiraiya complained and pointed at you for emphasis.

“I’ll hit you if I want to, boy! Stop distracting her!” Fukasaku scolded.

You had the basic control down with sensing the nature chakra and letting it flow into your body at a regulated rate, on came the next steps. You learned that Jiraiya’s sage mode was technically incomplete since he didn’t have acute control of his chakra to fully make it happen. You took on some transformations, meaning you couldn’t do a perfect transition and didn’t have the best chakra control either. Maybe you and Jiraiya make a complete sage? If that’s the case, you really are his other half. As for the transformation itself, it wasn’t that bad!

Your eyes where still their natural colour, but were a flat horizontal line like a toad’s pupil. Your teeth grew into the unsettling looking dagger points that widened your jaw and stuck your lips out. It transformed your limbs. Your fingers and toes became webbed. They were sticky. You could latch onto any surface and climb up them without focusing extra chakra to them to stick. Your arms and leg muscles became pumped and charged. They were rock solid and you could jump large distances with their help or deliver amputating blows with their power. It came with the added bonus of markings of your own. You naturally don’t have any, so it was quite the shock when you saw them for the first time. They were a pure white. There was a tapering white vertical line down the centre of your forehead it stopped just above your brow. Then in the same symmetrical pattern on both sides of your face, you had more lines. They were thin and almost delicate looking. It was a line that started just under your brow. It lined the shape of your brow bone and winged out to line up to the tail of your brow. It then went down to line your lash line before tapering off just after your tear duct. On your under eyes you had a simple line that followed the shape of your eye and tapered at the same high points as the lines above it. It finished with a last line on your chin still vertical and thin that went all the way down to the underside of your chin. It was rather... different from the rest of your transformation. Your sage mode was all about power and ferocity, but these markings were so pretty. They were feminine in comparison to the rest of you.

Jiraiya loved them. The moment you transformed, he took it all in. He held you close and stared. He was quiet for so long. You were worried he hated it his gaze was so intense. You shut your eyes as his finger traced your markings. Then he kissed you. It was a passionate and lustful kiss.

“It’s time we sparred together, don’t you think?” He asked.

“Do you think you can keep up with me?” You flash him a cheeky smile.

Jiraiya snorted and smirked. He loves the confidence you got, even like this. He’ll show you the same unconditional love you showed him when he transformed for you. To him, you are still beautiful. And he’ll kick your ass! You may be his wife, but that’s no excuse to be soft. 

He stepped back and pressed his hands together in front of him. He transformed and launched his attack. You defended yourself. It was fast paced and intense. You did your best to keep up. The intensity of the taijutsu was making your heart pound. Sage mode did the same to Jiraiya’s limbs and it was brutalizing to take the hits from his solid muscles. It was like getting decked with a pillowcase full of cinder block. It was very different fighting him than it was with Fukasaku. Jiraiya wasn’t holding back where the old toad did. He was really testing your progress.

You shrieked and pounced on him. It had enough force to knock Jiraiya over to the ground. You and him rolled on the ground for several feet before landing with you on top pinning his hands above his head. Your face was above his. He’s panting almost in sync with you. You look into his eyes. You recognize that look even when his pupils are flat and narrow.

“Is this turning you on?” You ask.

“Yes.” Jiraiya licks his lips. He looked you over and his body arched away from the ground to rock you against him. “You have no idea how much this has turned me on.”

It was true. The whole thing had tickled his fancy. There was something just so... primal about this. Watching you get stronger and confident in your abilities. You had gotten so good at this. He had to rub one out once you picked up one of the toad statues with ease. Sparring with you was like a wet dream come true. Maybe the nature chakra brought out some of the old caveman instincts. He wants to dominate you. To take you by the hips and fuck you from behind until your screams of pleasure echo around the peaks of the mountain.

That perverse smile you know well grows on Jiraiya’s face. It’s wider and stranger with all the sharp teeth, almost threatening if you didn’t know him. “What do you say, baby? It’s mating season on the mountain anyways!”

“You want to have sex in sage mode?” You tilt your head to the side curiously. “You still think I’m pretty enough to bone when I look like this?”

“Yes! Oh god yes!” He shouted. He fought against your grip and cried out in frustration. “I want to fuck you until you can’t take it anymore!”

You blink slowly as you process what he said. Huh... okay. This is the most horny you have ever seen him. Which is saying something considering you’ve known this glorious pervert most of your life. Perhaps all of the giant horny toads on the mountain were doing something to him. Their chirps and calls have been filling the air as the males call for a female. You impersonate one of the chirps as you lock eyes with your husband. You grind yourself against him. You run your hands down his arms. You pull open his kosode. You stroke his chest. You lick your lips as he curses loudly. He’s hard. You can feel it.

“Come on then, baby!” You flash him a grin of sharp teeth. “Let’s fuck like the horny toads we are!”

Jiraiya wasted no time. He sat up swiftly, smashing his lips against yours. It surprised you. It hurt a little from its clumsy execution. Your sharp pointed teeth scraped against his. It turned a little bloody as the tip of your tooth cut open his bottom lip. The coppery taste of blood filled your mouth as you passionately make out with him. He ripped off all the clothing keeping you decent. He broke the kiss to give your neck and collarbone attention. He nibbled on your skin. He groped your boobs. He pinched your hardening nipples as he tastes your skin. His sharp teeth leave marks in their wake while his nails are leaving thin red lines over your boobs.

You dig your fingers into his shoulders. His hands go down your body. He feels every curve you got. You do the same for him. Feeling his chest. Pulling his shirt off his shoulders. Going down his torso. Feeling every ridge of his hot body. You grab his pants and pull his dick out. It’s hard and throbbing in your hand. You slide down onto the full length of it. Both you and him are too impatient for any more foreplay.

“Fuck!” He hissed between his teeth.

“Ah!” You throw your head back and cry out.

It felt phenomenal! It’s like the nature chakra had fired up every nerve to be sensitive! It was good enough to fall off the edge before the first thrust. Jiraiya pushes on your back. It forced you to squish against him. He thrusted his hips and you did to. It’s a rough and hard ride. It’s hitting deep inside of you and hits so hard you can feel it ripple up your spine with each thrust. Your teeth scrape against his again in messy aggressive kisses. You grab onto his mane by the roots and grip onto it hard. You can hold onto his wiry hair with no issues this time. He bit your tongue by mistake and a new wave of blood taste filled your mouth. It was rough the last time sage mode got involved in the sheets, but this was slowly becoming next level. When you and him broke the kiss, tongues out, a thin thread of red tinted saliva connected them. It broke and fell onto his chin. He licked his lips.

Jiraiya moaned before going for your neck. He bit into your skin and was met with the metallic taste of your blood. You curse between your teeth. That hurt so damn good! The bit of pain breaking the pleasure and amplifying the arousal. He runs his tongue over the wound before biting you again. You shudder in pleasure from it. His neck is exposed too. You lick the side of his neck before biting it. You broke through his skin and got a taste of his blood. The taste wasn’t bad. Or maybe you are too turned on to care. Jiraiya gasped and moaned against your neck. You bit and kissed the mark you made. You line the side of his neck with bites. You pull on his hair. A burning sensation hits his scalp but he loves it. His fingers bury into your skin. It’s enough to bruise and make you sore for days.

You cry out when Jiraiya throws you off. Confusion smacked you for a hot second before he flipped you over. He grabbed your hips and dragged you back. He just had to do this. His instincts told him to. He keeps the ride rough by grabbing a fistful of your hair. It forces your head back and he guides the beat of his thrusts by pulling on your hair. It brings tears to your eyes from the sting of it. Each thrust is still at a bruising force. It’s so hard you can’t take in more than a shallow gasp. It’s like each thrust was causing you hiccups. You shift on your hands and knees. The small pebbles are digging into your skin almost as hard as his fingers are. It hurts in such a good way. The heat is just rolling off of his and yours bodies. Sweat is rolling off of your body and drops are soaking the dirt underneath you. It’s making his clothing stick to his skin in the most infuriating way. But he’s too occupied with the blissful feeling of fucking you to stop and disrobe.

“Jiraiya! Please!” It’s hard to use your voice with your neck stretched back.

“Tell me what you want, baby!” His voice was gruff and husky.

“Fuck!” You can’t form better words. “Fuck me! Fuck me harder! I’m close!”

Jiraiya hissed between his teeth. He can feel the change in your body. All of you squeezes him in the most delightful way. It’s driving him crazy at the moment. He’s getting lost in the lust. This is the best it’s ever felt. If he had known that sage mode makes it all feel so wonderful, he would have fucked you like this from day one. He puts his forearm across the middle of your back. He presses on it, forcing you to go down. He presses your face against the dirt and lays his torso over your back. You can feel his frantic excited breathing against your neck and you can hear his laboured grunting next to your ear. The dramatic angle of your body had changed how you’re taking it ever so slightly. It felt so good it’s almost insanity inducing. You claw at the ground with nothing to grasp.

“Yes! Fuck!” Jiraiya yelled the best he could. He grunts and moans your name. He buries his head against your neck and you feel his teeth nibble on you again. His thrusts broke up to be slower, but he buried himself as deep as possible inside of you. His nexts words are fractured with the beat of his thrusts. “This. Feels. So. Good!”

“Yes! Yes!” Your voice is getting squeaky and breathless. Like one does when they wear their lungs out after running. Or hard hyperventilating sobs. Those high pitched hitching breaths that rock your whole body with spasms. “Fuck me! Jiraiya! Fuck me!”

Your cries of pleasure seem to echo around the mountain. The wave of pleasure that came was almost blinding. You can’t breathe. You can’t think. It’s like getting overloaded with too much information to process. Your body stayed tense. You keep your breath held as Jiraiya was stuck on the edge.

You push back. You dig your fingers into the dirt and push your hips out. You swear you feel drool pooling onto your shoulder. Jiraiya sounds so wanton and utter lost in what you are doing to him. He’s almost in tears it’s so good. He licks the back of your neck. Then digs his teeth right in. It caused the reaction he wanted in getting you to scream. Your body hits another wave and squeezes his cock. He gives it one final thrust before his body finally tipped over the edge. His body is shaking from the overwhelming sensation of his long building climax.

Jiraiya’s heavy weight relaxed over top of you. You whine and collapse. He grunted when he suddenly fell. You are an uncomfortable pretzel under his body weight. Your knees are against your ribs and lungs. You huff and struggle to catch your breath. Jiraiya is having much of the same struggles. Your body is usually his favourite pillow. But your spine and shoulder blades are digging into his stomach. He turned his head away to get a clear breath of air. 

The focus had broke on chakra control. You feel the added features of your transformation leave your body as you calm down. Your muscles are softer. You have your normal teeth and eyes. The pretty markings are gone. All that was left was a throbbing feeling in every fibre of your body and lingering pain. There’s developing bruises on your body. The bite marks are swelling and bleeding.

Jiraiya puts a quick kiss on your head before finally sitting up. He’s not much better. He’s back to his normal form. He’s still a little trembly from the whack load of stimulation. He knows he’s going to be bruised and aching in an hour or so. There’s blood dripping from his lips and down his chin. He can feel the individual pulses his bites on his neck are throbbing with. They are going to swell and grow purple with dark bruises. This was the roughest he’s ever been with you. Some guilt sets in once the hazy lifted. He’s covered you in bruises from the spar and even more from fucking you like an animal. He looks over your back with a frown.

“Sheesh... I really fucked you up.” Jiraiya said. He ran his hand down your back. “Sorry about that, my love.”

You turn around. You crawl into his lap. You wrap an arm around him and your hand plays with his hair. Your fingers lazily curling a lock of hair by the side of his face around your index finger in a coil. You kiss his neck. You pay some extra attention on the bites you gave him. His hands are oh so gently stroking your thighs and back. 

“I regret nothing. We don’t usually roughhouse.” You chuckle. You kiss him on the lips. There’s a lingering taste of blood. “It was rather fun to be honest.”

“Really? You ain’t mad or anything?”

“Nope! I don’t mind having my husband put me in my place so to speak.” You giggle and cuddle your face against his neck. “Only once in a while though! I get to top next time!”

Jiraiya smirks to himself. Yeah it was pretty fun to be so dominant. He liked being on top normally, but there was something so primal about having sex in the sage transformation. Maybe there’s pheromones in the air or something since all the toads are in heat. Or maybe nature chakra simply amplified his true instincts, which was to fuck his mate. It certainly felt like he was in heat. This past month he’s wanted nothing more than to fuck you senseless. But you were so focused on the training that there was no real opportunity. It was a tad frustrating, since the sex life had been alive and well before this all started.

You did everything to improve yourself. Every free moment you had from training was either sleeping or eating. This whole time Jiraiya was there to support you. He gave you advice while rubbing your shoulders as you chowed down on bowls of food. Or he’d play with your hair and rub your back while you cuddled up to him for a nap. He spent hours standing under the forest of stalagmites staring at you as you balanced on a flat board on one of the points of the many very deadly sharp edges that the rocks had. You know, just in case Fukasaku missed grabbing you and you fell. He would catch you or take the impact with his body, even if it meant he got speared like a human kabob.

Honestly, Jiraiya was so proud of you and how quickly you got a hang of sage stuff. You were meant to do this. You are meant to fight by his side in the same way he does. The collaboration you have with your husband was incredibly well executed. Your chakra was even close enough in wavelength with his that you could combine jutsus with him. That included a big ass rasengan. It was absolutely monstrous and did devastating damage. Plus, Jiraiya smiles at the thought, you look so good at his side. Your face and body transformed to a similar state as his. The two Toad Sages of Mount Myōboku. They fight together. They live for each other. It’s hard to believe there’s an enemy out there that can win against them. So long as they are together, none shall topple them.

“There’s a hot spring that none of the toads like to go to.” Jiraiya brought up suddenly. He looked at you with a fond and suggestive smile. “How about we heal these aches with a long deserved soak?”

You perk up at the idea. A few hours in some nice healing warm water sounded perfect. It’s like a forever bath. And you get to enjoy it with your darling husband! You don’t mind disappearing for a while. You need a break from the elder sage toads. They are a little overbearing sometimes. They love Jiraiya like a son and fret over him. They quickly adopted you into their little family and treat you with the same fondness. You make their boy happy. They are also quite strange about the subject of sex. They often smack Jiraiya on the arm, leg, or back of the head for corrupting such a sweet girl like you. Then they realized you are just as bad as him, they just sigh and shake their heads. A match made in heaven, they often mutter that to each other.

“Yes! Let’s go!” You say with much enthusiasm. 

“Shall I carry you? Can you walk after what I did to you?” He snickered after he spoke, clearly he is quite proud of his work.

You roll your eyes. Your legs and pelvis are a bit stiff after the strain he put on them. You hold onto his neck and sit side saddle in his lap. “Giddy up, cowboy! You offered!”

Jiraiya did an eye roll of his own. Fine. He scooped you up in a bridal style carry and stood up. He took you away to the secluded little hot spring. Where you spent the rest of the day in the hot water beside him soothing every little sore. All in all, it was a very good day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do we feel about the markings? I figure white is a neutral colour that looks good on all complexions. It’s a very pretty basic colour and hey gurl you match bae’s hair. But insert your colour of choice if you wish, I just didn’t know how to incorporate something like that without it sounding janky. So white it is!  
> In other news, I want to write more like monster au ones. Like vampires and demons. But kinda blanking on an idea for a scenario with those specifically. Same with like a dragon in the disguise as a human or other high fantasy stuff, you know, some classics. Any ideas my dear readers? I already got a like banging your local cryptid one that I’m finishing up writing. Where Jiraiya is like a toad, fish, human hybrid. It’s a wild good time I promise. See this fic as like the gentle intro to that one in the looks department for his form. Also want to start diving into some kinks, idk how that’ll go.


	25. Stranded in The Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request from a lovely reader!  
> The day starts out swell. It’s bright but still warming up as the sun had just barely risen. You greet your family of merchants and aimless travellers and hit the road. As you walk along the road, the peace is cut like the knife that suddenly flew by your head. Before you know it your traveling caravan was overrun and you are blindly running... it all seems hopeless already. You are but one person stuck in this unfamiliar forest. Won’t someone save you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As for the person who requested I certainly hope you enjoy what I did with your idea! I really liked writing this and took a little creative liberty for the ending. I certainly hope you enjoy!

How can your world come crashing down so quickly? In the span of a few minutes, it all went to hell. Your little caravan of trade goods was raided. Your friends and family taken down in a matter of seconds. All you remember is a group of ragged looking men and woman surrounding the road. Then one of your dear friends pushing you. They screamed at you to run. You just shut down and did what they said. Your fight or flight instincts took over along with a rush of adrenaline. You choose flight. You were terrified and just did what you were told. You ran for as long as your limbs could carry you. You cut your face, arms, and legs on the forest around you. The leaves so thin and their edges caught you as you flew past them. The twigs and bramble bite your flesh as you trample them. You didn’t stop until you felt like puking from the after effects of your traumatic experience. 

There was some deadfall all piled together. It looked like all these trees fell and died together. The trunks and branches were angled high enough from the ground to find some sort of shelter in it. Almost like nature made a crappy tent or halfhearted beaver den. It would keep you covered. You can barely move to it. The exhaustion had caught up with you. Your eyes feel heavy. Your body even heavier. You squeezed yourself underneath it and curled up into a tight little ball. A loud clap of thunder tumbled across the sky. Rain followed. It’s like the sky is crying with you.

Well shit. Jiraiya looks up at the dark grey sky. Rain drops began to hit his face. This makes things harder. He looks around. The call came in this morning about a traveling group of merchants and nomads who were ambushed along the borders of the Land of Fire. There wasn’t much left. Whatever they were selling was stolen. All that was left was broken wagons and death. Blood soaked and mixed with the dirt road. The horses pulling the wagons had several kunai embedded in their necks. The bodies of those caught in the line of fire were disgracefully laying all around the road. Terror and pain still etched in their faces. Their bodies pilfered for any last minute goods by their thieves. It was honestly disgusting. How disrespectful.

“There’s one missing.”

Jiraiya turned his attention to the one who spoke. It was one of his subordinates assigned to help him investigate. It was an assembled team that specialize in tracking. It was the Inuzuka girl who had spoken. Her fluffy companion was sniffing the ground beside her curiously. Her brow was furrowed with concern as she looked over the list in her hands. Thankfully, to sell in the Land of Fire one needs a set of papers with intentions. There was an official headcount made up by the border patrol and they had the general description of each. It was better than how most investigations kick off. It gave the whole group a bit of hope since there was actual information. But it fell as they matched up bodies to descriptions. May this one missing be the one thing this team needs to move on! It was depressing enough to count bodies. At least one survivor won’t make this whole thing a wasted effort of sadness and death. 

“Okay. Then we split up. Who is it?” He asked.

“A girl. One of the youngest in the group.”

He took the list from her. He memorized the details listed about this person. Name, face, unique features. Okay. A cute girl. He can remember that.

“Shouldn’t we go after the group of rogues who did this?” His colleague asked.

“No. I think it’s wiser to get the girl.”

“Isn’t is safe to assume they kidnapped her?”

“You know what they say about assuming.” Jiraiya shrugs and turns to the rest of the group. He raised his voice so they all would hear. “We search for the missing girl! If you come across any of the culprits, question them but don’t neutralize unless necessary.”

The group nodded and went with his plan. They all split up the comb the woods. Jiraiya sighed. It seems he’s gotta rely on his summons for this one. Hopefully the rain doesn’t put on too many delays. He’s not exactly a tracker ninja. But he has the most experience when it comes to this part of the forest. Supposedly, his experience is the only reason he’s here. He’s sure that he was only deployed because he was free of any assignments. Whatever, he’ll do what he can. Jiraiya hopes to finish this before nightfall. The first twelve hours are the most important when it comes to search and rescue. This forest is hard to navigate as is in the day. But it’s a whole different beast at night... It must be terrifying for a foreigner. 

The cold has long settled into your bones. The rain hadn’t let up. The thunder was beginning to sound maddening. It rolled across the sky and deafened the other sounds of the world. Your shelter was starting to fail you. It smelt terrible. It poked into your back like little pitchforks. Some of the logs keep shifting because it’s so old and fragile. The water and mud are making it slide about. If it falls and kills you, you don’t really care at this point. There’s nothing left. No family. No friends. Nothing to scrape up and rebuild a life out of. Why did you even run? It would have been simpler to have died with your companions.

“Crep-it!”

Huh?...

The high pitched chirp caught your attention. You lift your head and shriek. You jumped right out of your skin from surprise. There’s a toad on your leg! You squeal and smack it off of you.

“Gah! Don’t touch me!” You yipe. “Ew! Gross!”

It chirped again and stared at you. It’s very.... human like. It’s focus was not that of a normal toad. It’s eyes were so honed and aware. Intelligent beyond that of it’s form. It was almost owlish as well as uncanny. Cool! Great! How fabulous. Just a demon toad to add to yours problems. You aren’t very fond of amphibious creatures to begin with. You don’t like a creepy demonic one staring at you. It’s so colourful that you are sure it’s not natural. Purple with yellow speckles. Now you’ve been around the lands and ain’t nothing in nature makes colours like that. Unless... Was it deadly with toxins?

“Why are you here?” You whined at it. You sniffle and stare at it like you expect an answer. “Are you going to hurt me too? Eat me? Poison me?...” You hug yourself for what little comfort it offered. “What does it matter anymore!”

You flop over and cry. The despair of it all had taken what little strength you had rebuilt. Maybe the hypothermia will finally do you in. You feel like a god damn sponge. Saturated and cold. It someone poked you, a puddle of water and tears would probably seep out.

Your possibly demonic companion didn’t eat you or poison you. It simply made another noise before scurrying away. Good. You don’t want the little weirdo to near you anymore. You squeeze your eyes shut. You are half tempted to smack your head on the decaying wood until you fall into a numb oblivion. You get a few headbutts in before deciding it’s time to just clench your eyes and focus on conserving energy. But for what, you don’t know.   
  


Where is there to go from here?...

You don’t know how many hours have gone by. You’re a little dazed from accidentally falling asleep. It was more like a dreamless black out. You are still exhausted. The nap didn’t help much. You are considering just trying to get a few more hours in. That or the lovely sweet embrace of death will take you while you rest, whichever comes first. However when you hear noises you crack an eye open. The first signs is dusk are there. It’s harder to see. It’s dimmer. With the dark clouds of the still going storm. It was becoming eerie. A set of feet are in your field of vision. You hold your breath. You freeze up in fear.

“Someone is here.” They whispered.

“Is it one of those pesky ninja? We’ve been running from them all day.” A different voice said. Their feet waltzed into your view as well.

“I... don’t think so. Their network isn’t trained. Their presence is very faint to pickup.”

“I bet it’s that girl that got away! If we catch her, we can use her as a hostage.”

“Yes yes! Search the clearing.”

You suck in a fearful breath. You don’t want to be a hostage. You move your limbs. They feel heavy and half frozen. You scoot as deeply as possible into your shelter. Every crack that was in it felt like mile wide crevices that exposed you. Every step they took swelled you with anxiety. You look around the best you could with you limited view. You check above your as one set of feet traveled that way. You look down and jump at the sight before you.

A stranger’s face is at the opening. They were smiling darkly at you. It was cruel and had this tone of superiority. It’s a man with unwashed ratted black hair. His teeth are yellow and decaying. His skin tanned from spending hours in the sun and all scraggly from lack of upkeep.

“Hello there!” He wheezed a laugh.

Something grabbed your ankle. You turn to look to see the second person. They were a woman with similar features to the man. Her hand had a good anchor on your leg. You wail and struggle. Clawing at the ground as she pulls you out.

“No! No!” You squeal as you struggle. “Let me go!”

You are dragged out of your little den into the open. Mud and leaves are staining your whole frontside from being dragged against it like a dirty mop. She pins you down and laughs at you.

“It’s like a drowning cat! All they do is flail!” She laughs.

She grabbed the back of your neck like you had scruff. She squished your face against the earth. She’s clearly a little crazy and sadistic. You are terrified of what’s going to happen. The man began to cackle and approach. These people! These cruel disgusting people! He steps on your hand and grinds it down. It hurt and stung. You thought you felt hopeless before. But now it all just feels bleak.

“Please let me go!” You beg them. You don’t want to die! Not like this! You don’t want to be stuck in a hostage situation. You don’t want to be at the mercy of these crazy people. “I won’t say anything!”

“Sorry little girl!” The man sneered at you. “We need to survive. You must understand that, don’t you?”

You shake your head. You squeal and cry as you are picked up. You don’t want to go with them! You are flipped over onto your butt. There’s a knife to your neck and you just feel nothing but mind numbing horror. You kick your legs. You claw at her hand. You cry out and beg.

“Crep-it!” A high pitched chirp sounded but a few feet away.

You look up. On top of your deadfall shelter was a familiar little toad. It’s wide lips were pulled into a pleased smile. It looked just as gross and weirdly human as before, but you couldn’t be happier to see the little bugger. It looks so confident you just feel some sort of hope. Like it brought help. Did it? While you imagine an army of toads, which just happened to be like a growing nightmare in your psyche, it had gotten quiet around the woods. The breeze and rain is swaying the trees are the only noises. It’s like everything else has fled at the rising threat of danger. You look around wearily. You have no training aside from life experience. You’ve spent most of your life outside due to your lifestyle. You know from your travels that if nature is quiet, something was wrong. Your captors raise their guard. They don’t like how this feels either. 

A crack of thunder stealthily hid the first move of the attack. It’s right overhead and it literally makes you deaf and disoriented for a moment it’s so intense. The hand of the woman holding you was yanked away, freeing your neck from the blade. Your eye caught white and red first as this big man ripped your captor away from you and literally threw her into the trees. It was a hard enough hit to knock her out. She went flying and landed with a hollow sounding thunk against a tree trunk. It’s a little bewildering. What strength! 

All of a sudden there’s a very large man dressed like a ronin standing protectively in front of you. His guard his raised. His long white hair was unnaturally standing on end. It looked sharp. Which is like... weird? How can hair resemble needles?

“Get out of here.” The white haired man warned. “I don’t have time to fight you.”

The scraggly man actually turned tail and fled. The poor dude looked terrified. Not so tough when alone apparently. That and the intense energy from the thunder made it look like your rescuer had summoned it himself. He did sighed and lowered his arms. He turned to the toad perched on the decaying trees.

“Kumi, let the group know that I’ve got the girl and to head back to the village.” He ordered.

“Aye aye boss!” The little thing saluted the man in a relaxed manner.

You are taken aback that the toad can talk. And that it has a name. This... this is weird. It looked at you with a sly grin before making an unnaturally high jump into the branches. You watch it fade away in the canopies. When your gaze lowers, the man is already squatted in front of you. He’s looking you over with a critical eye. With a small frown and analytical gaze. When his eyes meet yours, he finally cracks a friendly smile.

“You’ve had one hell of a day.” He said in a joking way.

Your body turns stiff on instinct when his hand reaches out. Oh... It’s a gentle touch. It’s a nice touch. His palm is warm as it rests on your cheek. You find yourself staring. He’s not bad to look at. He’s quite nice looking.

“You’re cold.” His expression falls a little. He’s worried about you.

“Why did you let that man go?” You ask quietly. You aren’t really sure what else to ask at this point. Your brain feels slow and overwhelmed with all that has happened.

“My job was to find any survivors of the raided caravan. I don’t see the point in starting a fight when I don’t need to.”

“Are there... anymore?”

His smile turns to sympathetic and sad. He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. It’s only you.”

You sniffle. You nod your head and cover your eyes as a new wave of tears come. It’s quiet for several seconds. Eventually, you feel your rescuer gently pet your head a few times before retracting his hand. Something warm is soon placed over your shoulders. You peek through your fingers to see the sage green kosode and scarlet haori the man was wearing draped over your body. You look back up at him. He’s given you the clothes off his back to keep you warm. The only thing keeping his chest covered was the netted armour shirt you’ve seen most ninja wear. Not that you are complaining or anything. He’s nice to look at with his shirt off.

“I’m Jiraiya by the way.” He introduced himself.

You swallow the lump in your throat. You look him up and down shyly. You say your name quietly. Jiraiya smiles gentle and encouraging. It seems he quite likes you.

“Your name is pretty.” At this point Jiraiya is just trying to keep you calm and coherent. He doesn’t mind complimenting you as well. He’s only telling the truth and wanting to make you feel even a fraction better. He finds you attractive, but this is not the circumstances to use to flirt. He stops admiring and gets his head back in the game. “Can you move? How are your injuries?”

“I’m tired.” You answer with a sigh. “And everything hurts.”

“Alright...” he paused thoughtfully before nodding. “No problem. Do you think you can get on my back?”

You nod. You pop your arms through the sleeves of his clothing before crawling towards him. He is much bigger than you and his clothes are practically falling off of you. It’s to your knees and it’s so wide it’s sliding off of your shoulders. But it’s warm and smells rather nice. Like the woods, but also a little warm like cinnamon and a sweet citrus like oranges. You crawl onto Jiraiya’s back and he hooked his arms around your legs. He suppressed a small shiver when your front met his back. The mud and rain had made you an ice cube to hold. But you are alive. Even if it’s just you. He counts it as a win. One life is better than none. 

You rest your arms over his shoulders and around his neck. He’s a cozy heater. You bury your face against Jiraiya’s hair. It’s soft now. It holds the same comforting scent that his clothes do. You feel safe with him. Your heavy eyes close and for the first time today, you rest easy. You have a feeling that it’s all going to be okay.

“And that, kids, is how I met your mother!” Jiraiya finished telling the story.

You roll your eyes at the dramatic retelling. Sheesh Jiraiya embellished some details. Your two children were mesmerized by the story. Your eight year old son, Kumiko, was listening intently. He wanted to know how his parents met. Your daughter Mozumi, was munching on her food and staring at Jiraiya. She was only two and will probably not remember this, but she likes hearing her father talk and was content to sit there. This was a normal end to the night. Jiraiya often told stories while you worked on dinner. It kept the kids out of the kitchen. Although tonight the story went on rather long. All throughout dinner the kiddies asked plenty of questions and the story got derailed a few times. You aren’t so impressed with some of his details. You sit beside him at the table with a raised brow and arms crossed in front of you.

“I don’t remember screaming that much.” You criticize his dramatized elements he added.

After that day Jiraiya took you in. He asked you out on a date once you had healed from most of the emotional pain. You were very close to him because he was the only person you knew in Konoha. He was so nice to you. He was sweet and understanding to your pains of loss. He managed to get a memorial sign put up on the road where your caravan and family was lost. It was a sweet gesture that meant a great deal to you. It meant your family had a grave, a mark on the world that meant they won’t be forgotten. You visit it often while he held your hand as a silent support. He always held you on the hard days and kissed you on the better ones. He asked you to marry him after about a year of being together. Children came soon after. It worked out well. You just get along with him famously. He actually inspired you to become a shinobi and he trained you. You wanted to give back to the village that took you in. You wanted to give back to the man that took you in. Being a ninja just felt right. Especially under the watch and guidance of your beloved. Needless to say you aren’t so screamy any more. You’re a decent fighter and you have long steadied your nerve. And you really don’t think you squealed as much as he said!

“You are joking aren’t you?” Jiraiya asked with a bemused smirk. “Kumi is practically deaf in one ear you shrieked so loud! And he’s still terrified of you.”

“He is not!” You scoff. You crossed your arms. “Give me a break, I was scared! I don’t like toads and I didn’t like having some random gross slimy looking one on my leg!”

“How am I married to you? I’m a Toad Sage.”

“Well you aren’t slimy or gross.”

“Aw thanks, babe.”

Jiraiya leans towards you and you to him. You share a quick kiss. You smile as he rubs his nose against yours in an affectionate gesture before pulling away.

“Wait!” Kumiko gasped with a sudden realization. He looked at you with wide eyes. “I’m named after a toad?”

You began to laugh. You more or less shrugged and admitted it. Your boy whined and pouted for not being told sooner. Jiraiya ruffles his hair and coos at him with a wide smile.

“Don’t puff your cheeks out, kiddo! Don’t you like you name?” He laughed at his son, but the question was that of genuine curiosity. He picked out the name after all, he’s bound to be curious if his kid actually likes it.

Kumiko huffed and nodded. You fawn over him and fix the hairs Jiraiya ruffled up. He’s his father’s little mini me in looks. Mozumi began to laugh and hop in her high chair. She’s a very bubbly little girl that giggled at everything. She’s named for no one but herself and it suited her bold personality. Of course Jiraiya had to give her some affection as well. She was a total daddy’s girl and he adored her. He put a kiss on her forehead and pet her head of soft loose white curls. Finally, Jiraiya stood up and approached you. He grabbed your chair and scooted it out to move in nice and close. He knelt down, held your face, and put a passionate kiss on your lips.

“It’s about time we work on a third, don’t ya think?” He purred the question. He likes having kids around. He likes the process of making them too! You simply smirk and that was enough of an answer. “Kids!” He turned to them. “It’s late! Quiet time then bed!”

You laugh at his eagerness. Even as a father, Jiraiya was still true to his roots. He had just grown into an even sneakier pervert than he already was. For real, his children didn’t know his more... risqué pass time hobbies. They only know him as their fun loving papa. He was a wholesome role model by day, your headboard breaking lover by night. You help him put the kids to bed. The moment they are down, Jiraiya tackles you by the waist and picks you up. You hold onto him and kissing him breathless as he takes you away to the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda wanted a nice clean ending that wasn’t baited for a sequel or like really vague on what happened. So why not a happy ending with a bit of comedy and some implying good times!


	26. Shy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another request from one of you lovely readers!  
> Since the day you were born, you were always so shy, quiet, and awkward. You aren’t sure of yourself and you don’t like to be apart of the loud crowd. And you go and get a crush on the most extroverted person you know. One with a reputation and seems to have a way with people. And for some reason, Jiraiya likes you back!

It’s tougher than it looks. Most people think being the shy type was an easy life, but honestly it was hard sometimes. It’s hard to speak. You can’t even look people in the eye for too long without feeling weird. You shake when too many people look at you. But you just might pass out and die if you get stuck under Jiraiya’s gaze for too long. You like him a lot! He’s just so... perfect. Maybe that was an overstatement to some, but they just don’t get it! He’s really cool! Handsome, brave, strong, outgoing, and funny. He has this great laugh that’s so loud and intoxicating. Everyone in the village seemed to be drawn to him. He had the natural charisma of a leader. He’s everything you aren’t. That’s what makes him so great to you.

You are so shy and awkward he’s probably never given you a second glance. He always smiles at you and greets you when he walks past your desk. But nothing more. You are essentially a fancy secretary. One of the only civilian jobs in the Hokage’s estate was being an aid for the Hokage. It’s just a fancy way of saying you organize papers, schedule meetings, and bring the old man some tea when he asks. But it meant you got to see Jiraiya almost everyday. He was quick with his missions and you are sure he shows up half the time just to heckle his old teacher. He stops to talk to you more often now.... after a month or so. Even after that long you get so flustered you can barely hold the conversation.

Maybe the universe is laughing at you. They want you to squirm and suffer because you are too shy to even talk to this man normally. You mumble and stammer. You fidget and try to find anything to do with your hands to keep yourself occupied when he talks to you. You use your hair to hide your face and know what his feet look like more than his face. You’re just so nervous around him. Because you like him so much. You’ve developed quite the crush on the famous Toad Sage. Which made it like several times harder to speak to him.

Much to your utter shock Jiraiya asked you out one day out of the blue. You were so stunned. You just stared at him for a moment before nodding aggressively. He smiled and enthusiastically said he’d meet you outside of work to pick you up at the end of your shift. You were so excited. You got your work done and signed out at the end of your shift exactly on point. You stood outside of the estate with your eyes peeled for your date.

Then he was late. As the minutes passed, doubt began to crawl all over you. He’s not coming, is he? He must have just been teasing you. Plenty of people do. You stare at your feet, feeling dejected. You feel like crying. You really believed he liked you too. This was your big break to get a first date. Maybe it’s a bit late to start in your twenties... but you just hadn’t found the right person. It felt like the opportunity was slipping through your fingers right before your eyes.

“You’re still here!” Jiraiya puffed.

You look up. He looks out of breath. He’s panting in big breaths of air and flushed. There’s still dust floating around his feet from how hard he kicked it up. He whewed and smiled at you.

“I am so sorry! I got caught up with something.” He apologized to you. He paused and made a face. “You know what, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you why. Let’s just get to that date, shall we?”

“You’re sure you still want you?” You asked quietly. Needless to say you don’t feel so confident about this. A part of you is still sure he’s going to laugh at you and walk away.

“Huh? Of course I do. I said I would.” Jiraiya tilted his head ever so slightly in question. He looks you up and down. You look so crestfallen and be wants to fix that. He gave you a cheeky wink. “Unless you got second thoughts, I still wanna paint the town with you.”

He offers you his hand. You take it and he leads the way into the nighttime hustle and bustle. It’s nice holding his hand. It’s warm and a little calloused, but not at all bad. You are red to your ears but you can’t stop smiling. He takes you to a casual restaurant that you feel at ease in. It’s not stuffy or quiet to make things intense. It’s not too crowded and you are on his undivided attention. He’s shifting around in his seat like an antsy child as he happily orders for you and himself. He knows you’re shy. He doesn’t mind being your voice. He’s just happy you agreed to go out. He hasn’t been on a date in so long and you are just so darn cute.

The date went very well. You were still too quiet than you would have liked. But Jiraiya must have had a good time, because he asked you out again for the next night. You agreed. It just went on from there. More dates. More genuinely good times. But... something still bugs you.

“Why do you like me?” You ask.

“Hm?” Jiraiya stopped in his tracks and gave you a questioning look. “Why would you ask that?”

You feel a little silly. But you want to speak your mind. He always encouraged you to and you have just begun to really say how you feel. “Why me? I... I’m nothing like the girls you usually talk to. I-I’m quiet, shy, I can barely look at you for a long time. I’m not that pretty and you really are out of my league...”

“Okay.” He raises a finger. “First off, never say you aren’t pretty, because you are. Second, I like you because you’re a great person. Thirdly,” Jiraiya shrugs and smiles, “you got a nice smile and cute ass. If anything, baby, you’re out of my league.”

Of course you turn pink in the face. But his words meant a lot. You look up at him. “You really think I’m pretty?”

He nodded. He grabbed you by the hips and pulled you close. You can’t tear your eyes away from his. They seem to be searching for something before he finally cracks a bigger grin. He used his fingers to oh so gently guide your chin and angle your head. He moved in and gave you a kiss. Your first kiss. You grab onto his shirt and hold him there. You savour the feeling of it. It feels good. His lips are soft and just the right amount of plump. They are firm but relaxed. They taste a little like the honey dango you split with him earlier. When it broke and he pulled back, there was a small noise that kisses made you always wanted to make. The little smack and chirp of a broken wet kiss. You didn’t even realize you closed your eyes to really take in the feeling of it until you slowly opened them. You are lost in his pretty dark orbs.

“Thank you...” You say quietly.

Jiraiya smiles again. He cocks a brow. He looks very amused. “Did you just thank me for kissing you?”

“I guess I did. I... Is that what you aren’t supposed to do?”

“No! It’s very sweet. You’re welcome!” He leaned back down to peck you with another kiss. “I’ll kiss you anytime you want!”

“I-I like kissing you!”

Jiraiya laughed and was happy to entertain you with kisses. Honestly he’s ready to entertain you all night with more. This dating thing was going well. He finds you quite attractive. He cracks it to eleven and he took you to his room. He’s aiming to see that body of yours and the faces you make as you cum.

You are anxious to be there. You are in a man’s bedroom. You are sitting on his bed and making out with him. You hope it’s not obvious that you have never done this before. Your hands are shaky with anxiety as they settle on the back of his neck. His hands feel warm and heavy on your body. They rub back and forth on your hips to your back. Every little touch sent tingles up your spine. You jump when his fingers go under your pants. They touch your bare hips and tickle the waistline of your panties.

“Jiraiya...” You quietly trail off. He kisses you again. You pull back. “Jiraiya wait a second.”

“Don’t worry, baby. I got you.” He closed the distance and kept your lips occupied.

He pushed you down and got on top of you. It felt good. But it’s overwhelming. You’re on his bed pinned under his body. His frisky hands push up your shirt. He bites your bottom lip ever so slightly. It does feel nice, but gosh it’s a lot. Jiraiya was gentle in his approach. But it’s so intense all the same. His hands are careful to treat you with care, but his lips are refusing to let you catch a breath. You know what he wants and you begin to panic. There’s something you still haven’t told him and you’re a little scared too.

“Please!” You gasp in some air before he goes back in. You gently push him away. “Please wait!”

Jiraiya paused. He was midway kissing you. His hands are right under your bra and his knee is right between your legs. He sighed and pulled back. He crawled back to give you some space. He sat back on his knees along the edge of the bed. You look flustered and overwhelmed. He’s left you gasping and teary eyed. This is not the reaction he was hoping for.

“Sorry.” He said. He cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean to...” He furrowed his brow in confusion. “Did I do something? Are you okay?”

“N-No! You did nothing wrong!” You assure him. You wipe your eyes and steady your breathing. “I... I haven’t... I’ve never... I-I’m... Oh goodness...”

A growing realization hits Jiraiya right in the face. His eyes grow wide and his cheeks slowly gain a pink colour. “You’re a virgin.” He finished your stammering sentence for you.

You are so embarrassed. You cover your face with your hands and nod. You feel ashamed. “I’m sorry! I didn’t want you to think I’m a loser or anything!” You start crying because you feel so bad. “I don’t think I can have sex with you! Not right now! I’m not ready!”

Oh. You poor sweet thing. You are reduced to tears from your confession. Jiraiya sighed slowly. He pushed his disheveled hair away from his face as he looked you over. You shouldn’t be crying over something like this. He reached out and grabbed your wrists.

“Come on, let me see your face.” Jiraiya spoke in an endearing way. He can feel the heat your face is giving off.

You relax your arms and let him pull your hands away. You must look terrible at this point. Face redder than a tomato and eyes puffy from crying. How does this man tolerate you? Even as a big red teary mess, he kisses your hot cheek. You dare to open an eye to look at him. You are afraid he’s disappointed and disgusted by you. But his smile is still there. It’s warm and understanding.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Jiraiya assured you. He cupped your cheeks. They are still so warm. He wipes away your tears. “I understand that it’s scary.” He put a kiss on your cheek. “It’s hard to find someone that you can trust with something like this.” He chortles before confessing something. “To be honest, I didn’t have sex until I was about twenty four.”

“Really?” You ask in a very small voice. It’s hard to believe someone like him had trouble finding a partner.

“Yeah. I didn’t find someone I trusted enough until then. It was all so new and weird. But it felt really good.”

His words are calming you down. He puts light kisses on your flushed face. You reach out and wrap your arms around the back of his neck. You’ve stopped crying and are just sniffling as you kiss him back. He understood the struggle. The desperate feeling of not hitting that milestone where most adults your age have had an average of two partners by then. It’s a specific mix of feeling rejected and ugly. That no one found you attractive enough to try.

“I know you’re not ready. I’m willing to wait and go at your pace.” He continues to comfort you.

Your breathing is getting calmer as he kisses your neck. Your hand is petting his head and running through his hair. It feels nice. He takes a chance and wraps his arm under your back and pulls you up to press against him. Your arms wrap tighter around him in response. It’s nice being held so close. For both him and you.

“I’d love to be your first and show you exactly how this is supposed to make you feel. You mean a lot to me.” Jiraiya finished up his little speech on a sweet note.

At this point in your life, it might as well be with someone special. You do feel something special when you are with Jiraiya. He’s so sweet to you. He takes the time to listen to you and understands your fears. It seems he came from the same roots as you when it came to finding a partner. You know he would treat you right. But you aren’t quite ready for all of that yet. Maybe with some experience doing different things, you could see yourself losing your virginity to this man.

“I want you to touch me... but I don’t know what to do.” You finally say.

“That’s okay. Let’s go step by step?” He offered. “Can I take your shirt off?”

“Okay.” That you can do.

You put your arms up. You feel Jiraiya hook his fingers along the bottom hem. He pulled it off of you. He smiles and marvels at your newly exposed skin. You watch him carefully for his reaction. But it’s fairly unreadable aside from that relaxed smile. It’s affectionate and charming.

“You are very pretty. Can I take more off of you?” Jiraiya was being very polite.

It all came from a place of understanding. His first time was a little rushed and rough. He was eager to get it in but scared of the results. He didn’t want that experience for you. You deserve to enjoy yourself. He has a rare opportunity to show you one of life’s most sensitive and intimate things. He wants to do it his way with you in the loop with every step. Any sexual activity should be positive and consensual. Jiraiya can easily admit to himself that he’s not a romantic, but he’s a pervert with standards. Any real sexual encounter should be like this. A little slow, unsure, and fearful. It’s all new territory and he’s determined to make his woman feel nothing but pleasure.

“Uh...” You pause as you think on your options. “I guess my pants.”

“You guess? Are you sure?”

“Yes.” You nod with assurance. “Please take my pants off.”

Jiraiya chuckles to himself. You make him laugh with your wording sometimes. Thanking him for kissing you was still his favourite instance of this. You are polite at the oddest of times and he loves it. He leans down and decides its best to give you some attention. He kisses your bare skin. Your ribs and belly are being decorated with his light pecks. They are slow paced kisses that are meant for you to focus on. You relax yourself as he does this. You shut your eyes for a moment to focus on the feeling. It’s pleasant. It tickles your skin ever so slightly. Not in a bad way. The kisses are just so gentle they give off that tickling sensation that light touches do. You feel the button and zipper of your pants begins tugged on. His finders grab the sides of the material. They slid down your hips. Then your thighs. Down your legs, exposing more skin to the cool air of the dark room. Jiraiya runs his hand along the back of your leg as he pulls the material off of you. You are smooth and silky under his touch. He pulls your pants off of your feet.

This was enough to pick up your breathing again. This was exciting and you feel that tingly sensation all over your skin as he looks at you. Jiraiya runs his hands back down your legs. From your knees and to your inner thighs. Your panties are keeping you covered. His hands don’t breech that barrier. He is just feeling the soft material of it with his fingers.

“Anything else that should be taken off?” He asked.

“No... No I don’t think so.” You open your eyes and look at him. “I’m not ready for that.”

“Okay. What now?”

You look him up and down. He’s still clothed. “Can you take some clothes off?”

Jiraiya exhaled a bemused laugh. “I’d love to!”

You watch as he took off his shirt. He pulled his green kosode open. It fell off his shoulders and down his arms. You are mesmerized by his graceful movements. Oh he’s pretty. Lovely fair skin. He really has an intimidating stature. Tall, broad, buff. All his body was well toned muscles that aren’t too big, not too small. There’s a mix of scars on his torso. From small nicks and specks to long carvings. They aren’t bad to look at. It simply told a story of the trials he endured as a ninja.

“You’re beautiful.” You are struck with wonderment at the sight of him.

“Beautiful?”

“O-Oh! Pretty! Er! Handsome!”

That loud laugh you know and love fills the room. At least Jiraiya finds you funny. You groan at your awkwardness and cover your face with your hands. He giggles at you as he leans over you. He takes your hands away to give you a kiss.

“You’re pretty too! Come on~! Stop covering that lovely face of yours!” Jiraiya teases you a little as he coos and chides you in a lighthearted way.

You squeal with laughter as he pinned your hands against your belly. He’s kissing you and making flirty deep throated laughs of a pervy madman. His teeth lightly scrape against your cheek and the side of your neck. Once he goes over it with his teeth he attacks it again with kisses. It calms you down.

“What else can I touch? How far can we go?” Jiraiya asked. All of the joke was out of his voice. There’s something about it that sends tingles up your back. It’s low and quiet. Intimate and sexy.

You hang on his words. You are aroused. You do want more. But you lack any experience. You shift and swallow nervously as you think on what to tell him. It’s hard to think clearly in this state of mind. With your partner’s tongue, teeth, and lips paying such beloved attention to your neck.

“Can I use my mouth?” He asked. He moved his lips up to give your jaw right under your ear some love. “I can smell how good you’ll taste from here.”

That caused some anxiety. You don’t want this man to be eye level with your crotch. If he doesn’t like it you will be mortified. “N-No. I’m really not ready for that.”

“Heh heh. Alright. I guess that just leaves my fingers.”

“I guess it does.”

“It’ll feel good, I promise.”

You nod. You look him squarely in the eye. “I trust you.”

Jiraiya smiled at that. Atta girl! You look confident that you want this and he’s fine to continue. He put you down flat on your back. You lay there as he flops down beside you on his side. His hand is propping up his head while the other wiggles their fingers in a promiscuous fashion above your body. You switch between watching his hand and looking at his face. He’s smirking at you and wiggling his eyebrows. It gets a laugh out of you. Jiraiya laughs as well. There we go. You are getting comfortable. Sex isn’t always passionate and sweaty. It can be silly. He doesn’t mind making it a bit silly. You respond well to the funny tension breakers. He finds himself defaulting to that when you’re uncomfortable or unhappy. He doesn’t mind acting like a goofball to get you to crack a smile and release some of your tension.

You watch as his hand lowers. It lands on your stomach. It’s already causing fluttering along your skin. It feels like it’s pooling and attracted to your sex. It’s a new feeling. It’s warm and tingly. Jiraiya is watching your every movement and reaction. Your lips are parted as your breathing is getting heavier. Your cheeks are a nicer colour of pink and not so overwhelmingly red. You are warm to the touch. Your pulse is strong under his hand which is telling him that you are excited. Your thighs are together and shifting back and forth.

“Spread your legs.” His tone was sweet and coaxing. His fingers are stroking back and forth over your belly in a slow motion.

“Okay.” Your nerves are building again.

You are unsure. You watch Jiraiya as you spread your legs apart. He nods with approval. They are a good distance apart, at least enough to let him work. His fingers run back and forth along the waistline of your panties. The skin there is sensitive. It’s odd to think how little of this area you actually touch. It’s lightly ticklish but not bad. It’s a similar sensation to a feather being dragged on your skin. His fingers finally dive under the fabric of your underwear.

“You nervous?” Jiraiya asked.

“A little.” You confirm.

“Don’t worry. I won’t do anything that’ll hurt, alright?”

You nod firmly. Jiraiya has never steered you wrong yet. It looks like he knows what he’s doing. He goes the extra mile to make you comfortable. He tucked his free hand under your head. He scooted as close as possible until his body was pressed against yours. He leans partly over you and kisses you. He holds his lips against yours in a passionate kiss. It does distract you a little. He’s a good kisser and it felt nice to have his lips on yours. You find your hand stroking up and down his arm just to touch him. His hand slides lower and lower.

“Mhph!” Your noise of surprise was muffled.

A flood of pleasure rolls over you. Finally, Jiraiya was touching you. His fingers are thick and callus. The texture of them was so new. The folds of your sex are wet and moving around his fingers. He’s moving them back and forth along the full length of your slit. It’s slow and not a lot of pressure. You can’t resist jumping when his finger pressed against your clit. Your hips involuntarily twitch. His finger presses against it in small tight circles. He breaks the kiss. You gasp in a breath and yell out a noise. It’s not quite loud enough for a moan and too breathless for anything else.

“How does it feel?” He asked.

“Ah! Hn!” You bite your lip. “Good!”

You shift your legs up and down. Your toes curl against the sheets. You must look ridiculous. You can tell your face is squished as you have practically everything tensed. You turn your head away from Jiraiya. You don’t want him to focus on your face. You bite your lip and clench your teeth to stay quiet. You’ve never made these kinds of noises before. They sound so weird. It’s turning you pink just from hearing yourself. You breath heavily through your nose as you stifle your noises of pleasure.

Something gets caught in your throat. You grip onto Jiraiya’s arm. His finger had pushed inside of you. It was so unfamiliar. His finger hadn’t pushed in very deep, but you could feel it and you are very aware of it. How it’s stretching you. The ridges and texture of his skin. He pushes in only a little, up to his middle knuckle. It leaves you wanting more.

“Does it hurt at all?” Jiraiya asked in a whisper.

You shake your head. Jiraiya kissed your neck. It’s exposed now that you refuse to look him in the eye. He kissed and licked the side of your neck. He breathes along your skin and moans. He bites your earlobe very lightly. He pumps his finger in and out slowly. He exhales a hot breath on your ear. It causes a shiver throughout your body. He’s doing what he can to encourage you to express your pleasure.

“Do you like it?” He whispered. His voice was husky and hot in your ear.

You nod. Jiraiya exhales a laugh. Oh his sweet shy girl. It seems he’s gonna have to work harder to make you open that mouth of yours. This is a fun challenge. He never expected that you would be so hard to get some vocals. He squeezed the rest of the length of his finger and palm against you. He had enough foresight to use his middle finger. He used his first and ring fingers to squeeze the folds of your pussy around his middle finger. It added some pressure and some different sensations to keep you on your toes. He ground his palm against your clit in a circle.

“Ah!” All These new elements got a rise out of you.

You bite your lip. It feels so good! But you sound so weird. Like yourself but not yourself. You aren’t sure what to make of it. Your partner sure seemed to enjoy hearing it. Jiraiya’s breath hitches from your reaction. That’s exactly what he wants from you. He moved faster. He wants to hear more. You grip his arm. He uses his free hand to angle your head towards him. You stare at him through almost shut eyes. You are panting loudly. You use your free hand to swing over and grab the back of his neck. You push him down. He follows your lead and kisses you. You squeal and moan in his mouth. Your hips rock back and forth with his hand. The kiss keeps breaking for you to take in air which are loud as it feels impossible to gain a deep gasp of air.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” He asked.

“C-Close to what?” You can barely speak you are so breathless.

His brows almost rise off of his face. “Uh... have you ever done this before?”

“No!”

So you are like... virgin virgin. He feels slightly blessed to have found you. The pervert and the virgin. Oh you are just a treat! He pushed the full length of his finger inside of you. He pushed it in and out quickly. Your hands start to shake. You hold onto the hairs at the back of his neck. Your back arches. Your toes curl. Everything in between was stiff. You inhale sharply and your mouth hangs open.

“Don’t be shy~!” Jiraiya encourages you. He kisses your neck, where he can feel your raging pulse. “Scream. Moan. I want to hear it.”

“Jiraiya!” You heed his advice and cry out his name. It’s still a slightly shy squeak as you fear to be loud. But it’s the loudest he’s ever heard you and he’s into it. It inspired him to curl and twist his finger to edge you on.

The feeling is unusual. Your whole body is wound up tightly. Every muscle is effected in a way you never knew it could be. Then suddenly it sprung. An overwhelming sensation of butterflies and something like a wave hits you. It’s tingly and fluttery. It felt amazing! Your legs clamp around his fingers as your body contracts. You can’t hold in another shout. A flood of something came out of you. You can feel it soak your underwear and down your thighs.

Jiraiya keeps his hand there until you relax. His finger pushed in as far as possible to help you get off. His breath his held as he watches you. He lets it out when you do. It’s like he came vicariously by watching you. He feels a little overwhelmed and flushed just from doing that!

Once your back hits the bed again and your legs go limp, he pulls away his hand. You mewl as his digits slid away. Everything just felt so sensitive. You shift your hips and thighs. You adjust to the feelings of what you just went through. Your whole body was wired. You’re a mix of tired but excited. As well as you are in a state of relaxation and contentment. You look over at Jiraiya. Oh! You gasp as his fingers are to his lips. He licked them while looking you up and down.

“What? You’re tasty!” He laughed.

You sink down into the pillows. You feel a sense of embarrassment as he tastes your cum. You’ve never seen that before. Well to be fair you haven’t seen a lot. Was this normal? He’s enjoying himself at least so perhaps it is. You stretch your stiff legs. You inhale deeply and let it out slowly. That was taxing, but you wouldn’t mind going through it again. It left you tired but wanting more. It’s a strange mixture that you haven’t felt before.

“Was that really the first time you’ve cum? You’ve never touched yourself?” Jiraiya asked. There’s no judgment in his voice, just curiosity.

You hug your arms around yourself. “No... not really. I always thought it was weird... I never had the desire to.”

The more perverted nature within Jiraiya felt absolutely elated to have such a sexually naive partner. Oh the things he’s going to show you~! Your mind is going to be blown. He smiles and pulls his fingers away from his mouth. You need to be touched. He wants to. He loves touching you. He stroked your arm and belly with the very tips of his fingers as he asked his next question.

“What about now?”

You swallow the lump in your throat. You feel that familiar heat of embarrassment. This subject still made you flush. You nod. You would do this now that you know how it makes you feel. He smiles and kisses you.

“Good! I’m happy to help you with that anytime!” He encouraged you wholeheartedly. He pecked you with several quick kisses while his hand drifted up and down your hip. “Making you feel good is one of my favourite things to do!”

You smile at Jiraiya. He’s got that big grin on his face that was a little perverse, so you know he meant it. You reach out and hug him tightly. He’s glad to hold you against him. You cuddle up to him with your head on his chest. You really like this man. No one has ever been so considerate of your body and feelings before. This realization makes you want to ask him something. You sigh out some of that building nervousness.

“Jiraiya?” You inquire in a quiet voice.

“Hm?”

“Uh... will.. you uh... can you be my... um.” You swallow down your anxiety. It’s just so nerve racking! You nuzzle into him and stroke your hands up and down his back. It’s easier without looking in his eyes. “B-Boyfriend? Will you be my boyfriend?”

Jiraiya began to laugh. It shook you as his body moved with it. You began to wonder if you asked a dumb question. The idea was quickly cut off as he squished you in a tight hug. “Of course, baby! I’d say we’re already there!”

You can feel the smile grow on your face. Your boyfriend puts kisses on the top of your head. He giggles as he affectionately nuzzles his cheek against the top of your head. He’s just giddy and excited from the door he’s opened for you. Jiraiya’s brain works fast as he thinks about what other things he can show you in the bedroom. He wants to be as affectionate and encouraging as possible. Even if it’s low and slow, every step of the way will be fun and comfortable for you.

It’s so secure to be in his embrace. It feels nice to have someone to curl up with. Especially since that someone understands your plights and hesitations. You find yourself tired as you settle down. The idea of being in bed with your significant other sounded good. You finally have one after all! You plan on enjoying every little thing that partners do with one another. Even just cuddling with Jiraiya is making your heart pitter patter with excitement. His arms are big and heavy around you. He’s toasty warm. His bare skin against yours was soft. He smells really good. You can hear his heartbeat with your head on his chest. His legs are shifting slowly to hook yours in a tangle. His hands travel down your sides before resting on your butt.

“Too much?” He asks.

“No. Just right.” You reply.

He hums a single note of acknowledgment. If you’re good, he’s good. He puts another kiss on the top of your head. Your eyes began to drift closed. The beat of Jiraiya’s heart was steady and rhythmic against your ear. He was content to lay how he was with you. The winding down and relaxing for once and a while while also holding a pretty woman was kinda therapeutic. Cuddling was one of those rare things he does, but it always makes him feel happy. He usually watches women and rarely touches. This was a nice change. Dating was a nice change. You are a nice change for many aspects of his life. Perhaps he is a little lonely and tired of bachelor life.

Just try not to fuck it up, the rude side of his conscience reminds him. You’re so sweet, shy, and lacking a little bit of confidence. Not that these are bad qualities or anything! Jiraiya is just having a tad bit of trouble on getting you to open up. You are so quiet sometimes it’s hard to read. He really doesn’t want to misstep and ruin this. He’s never gone for the quiet ones before. Little did he know that the best girls are the ones who tend to fade in the background. The ones who don’t like to have lots of attention on them or be in big crowds. Then he met you and he realized he’s missing out on probably the kindest bunch of people out there.

“I’ll try hard to make this work.” Jiraiya promises himself and you that.

“Hm?” You hum sleepily. You began to drift off as you had gotten so comfortable in his arms. “Did you say something?”

“It’s nothing.” He assures you. “Just thinking.”

You hum again. You fade back away into sleepiness. Jiraiya yawns. You’re making him sleepy. From the sound of your sleepy voice to the way you keep him nice and warm with your body heat. Well... he’s got nothing better to do. A cat nap with his girlfriend sounded good. He shut his eyes and falls asleep along with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite wholesome, yes? 
> 
> For real tho I had so much fun with this request. I too am a shy anxiety child so I really vibed with the idea. I’m thinking of doing a possible sequel(if the requester is chill with it, as I see it it’s still your idea) with more development and dynamic to the relationship as well as the reader finally getting the good sex™


	27. After Two Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request from a lovely reader!  
> After two years of no contact. No words ever exchanged since you were left alone... Jiraiya reaches out...  
> He tells you something that he should have said two years ago. But he’s too late. 
> 
> Or is he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really fell in love with the concept of this request! I love me some age gaps. I love me a little bit of drama. I love me a lil bit of sex and comedy. I hope you like what I did with the idea!

There’s a gentle tapping on your window. It comes with a jolt of excitement. You run to the window and flip it open. You smile widely at the awaiting toad. She’s a funny little thing. Bulky in build and no bigger than both of your hands together can hold. She’s a mango orange with dark grey stripes down the length of her body.

“Oh okay. You glutton.” You roll your eyes.

You grab the small cage of crickets and grab one out with a pair of tweezers. As soon as it was out, the tongue of the toad shot out. She almost grabbed your tweezers right out of your hands.

“Careful! You’re gonna choke one of these days.” You scold the amphibian.

She just looked at you with a pout before throwing up the scroll she had. You take it an tentatively thank the creature. She croaked before poofing away in a bloom of smoke. This has been a ritual almost every month for two years. The spot of orange in your window was the highlight of your month as it meant a letter from your only living family left in the world. You asked Naruto to keep in contact when he could. With the assurance that the toads won’t be in danger for the correspondents, he was happy to. You open the scroll. What kind of trouble could your dear nephew could be getting into now? To your surprise, you recognize the fluid writing of Jiraiya, not the fast scribbles Naruto. You barely read the first word before shutting it. You inhale deeply.

Things between you and Jiraiya were left... weird. He hadn’t contacted you at all for a whole two years! Now he reaches out? You sigh. That difficult man. Why do you like him again? It’s so difficult. He’s difficult! He’s so infuriating sometimes but you love that about him.

Sigh.

You confessed.

Over two years ago you finally told Jiraiya that you love him. You remembered how he stared at you. His eyes wide with surprise. His body went a little tense. You moved in while his guard was down. You held onto his shirt. You forced him down with a tug and pressed your lips to his. His hands held your waist and he kissed you back. Then he pushed you away. His expression changed to be neutral and cold... and pained. Underneath his neutral exterior was so much hurt. You could see it in his eyes. But he was pushing you away, not matter how much it seemed to hurt him.

“I’m sorry...” He began.

“No!” You interrupted right away. You clung onto him and refused to let his eyes go. “I don’t care! I know what you’re going to say and no! I know I’m young! But I know what I feel.”

You search his eyes for any sign of agreement. You want to see the regret and pain fade from his face. Where he would then hold you against him and hold your lips in a deep kiss against his.

“I know how you feel.” You whisper. “You feel the same. I know you do.”

Jiraiya shook his head. He said your name in a way that already was pulling on your heart. It was quiet and even. It sounds like he’s retraining himself. Or speaking to you like you are a child again. “I’m old enough to be your father. I watched you grow up... I-!” Jiraiya cringed like he was in pain. It was hurting him to say this. “You... You need someone your own age.”

“No I don’t.” You have a white knuckled grip on his clothing. Your head drops in despair and you bury your face in the soft material of his kosode. “I need you.”

Jiraiya grabbed your wrists. He forced you to let go. He whispered an apology before leaving. You collapsed to the ground and cried. You felt foolish and heartbroken. You didn’t want to watch him leave. You never wanted him to leave. It came at such a horrible time as he took your nephew with him. You felt so alone. The two brightest lights in your life had left. It’s the most alone you felt since your sister and brother-in-law died. It felt close to the same.

You remember so clearly and the pain is easy to recall. You stood there, watching as Kushina begged you to take her baby. She’s covered in a mix of her blood and Minato’s, who was already dead from the jutsu he casted to seal The Nine Tails in the infant. The usually bright eyes of the easy going blond were dull and cloudy. He looked so strange to be sitting still on the ground beside his beloved. It never should have been this way. Why did it all go so badly so quickly? Out of all the people in the world, these two deserve to have a happy and full life with their baby. Death always seems to pick the wrong ones! 

You love your sister and you would honour her dying wish. Raising her son was the least you could do for her. There’s nothing more important than family. You were only fifteen at the time. You excelled as a ninja. You had just graduated to chunnin. But none of that mattered anymore. You held your nephew, splattered in his parent’s blood, and you promised him you’d always be there. You turned in your forehead protector and quit being a ninja. The job was too risky when you had a baby to care for. You don’t want to leave for long missions when half the village want to murder your nephew. No matter what happened, you would never leave Naruto alone in the world. He’ll be loved and protected, even if it kills you.

That’s when you and Jiraiya really connected. He came back for the time of mourning and the rebuilding of the village. He helped you a lot. He was the only one who supported you when the rest of the village made you an outcast. No one wanted to associate with the Uzumaki except for him. You know how much Jiraiya loved Minato and Kushina. He was just as torn up about their death as you were. He said he was proud of you. You showed a great amount of maturity and fearless where he failed. While named godfather, he said he wouldn’t be able to do it. He couldn’t raise a child, but you know he felt bad because of the sacrifice you made. You are a child raising a child. It shouldn’t have to be this way. Jiraiya did what he could to help.

He gave you money when you were flat broke. He bought you food when you were starving but had given everything to the toddler you had. You cried in his arms and he comforted you when you needed it. He was the only person that would talk to you. He spent hours listening to you. He spent days in your home helping you with Naruto. Then at night Jiraiya would lay in bed next to you and let you cuddle him for comfort. You spent many nights falling asleep to the warmth of his body, the sound of his heartbeat, the comforting scent of him, and feeling of his fingers running through your hair. To have that contact when you were suddenly starved of all interaction meant so much. You made a promise to always meet up with him whenever he came to town. You owe him a lot for helping you at your lowest times. You fell in love.

As you got older you realized what you felt for him. You got so excited when there was a message saying he was returning for a visit. You couldn’t wait to see him. Your heart would pick up when you saw him. You’d blush when he called you beautiful. You memorized how it felt when his fingers ran down your cheek or run through your hair. You’ve had fantasies of Jiraiya holding you, kissing you, fucking you. You’d shut your eyes and run your hand down your body, wishing it was his as you touch yourself to the thought of him. You dreamed about what it would be like to wake up in his arms everyday. You wonder what it would be like to do all the loving relationship things with him. The dates. Just walking around holding his hand. Spending more countless hours cuddling and talking. You’d happily be his research material. You are sure that wonderful pervert has all kinds of good ideas when it came to what he wants his woman to do to keep him inspired. You thought he felt the same.

You sigh loudly. You miss Jiraiya dearly. Even if he was a stubborn ass. You have moved on. You can just be friends, so long as he’s willing. You opened the scroll and read the contents.

Hey...

I know we left things on a bad note. I spend everyday regretting how we said goodbye. You mean a lot to me. I know you mean a lot to Naruto. He spends half his time talking about his auntie rather than focusing on the task at hand. We both miss you.

There’s a drag on the last letter of ‘you’. It’s like Jiraiya stalled a long time on what to say next. Like there was more to what he wanted to say there, but he hesitated and changed his mind. It continues.

By the time you get this message, Naruto and I will be in Konoha or close to it. I’ve taught him almost everything I know, and It’s time to come home. Please meet with me. I have something I really want to tell you.

Stay home. I’ll come to you.

Always yours,

Jiraiya.

You reread it. Weird. It was very stilted in comparison to his usual style. Jiraiya usually wrote very fluid and romantically. It was embellished with beautiful wording and built strongly with nothing left out. This was betraying his nerves. He’s worried about something. And how he ended it.

Always yours.

He never signed off like that. Jiraiya was a jokester. He wasn’t very serious. He usually signed off with something dumb and even flirty to make you smile.

Your favourite sage!

Your number one man~!

Ranked top best looking ninja in the Land of Fire.

The man that once ate three jars of pickled garlic in one sitting and almost died.

Honestly I’m very drunk I’m sorry if you can’t read this for shit. I just miss talking to you.

Here’s a picture of this really fat fucking squirrel I saw in a book! Trust me, you’ll love it.

Always yours was intimate in comparison. And he wrote his name methodically rather than the autograph he usually does that looks like a doodle of his face. He also often drew crude looking hearts and simple smily faces around his name or yours. The scroll was missing that silly and almost childish flare. It was serious looking. Strange... What could he want after all this time?

“Oh. Did the kiddo send you another letter?” Your boyfriend, Hokota, asked.

You look up and see that he’s standing behind you. Yes... boyfriend. You didn’t want to be hung up on one man for your whole life. You got into the dating scene and came across Hokota. He’s only two years older than you. You met him in a bookstore. Apparently you got a thing for authors. You laughed at the similarity as he told you his job. He’s not bad looking either. Taller than you by a foot or so. He’s fair in complexion and fit with a runner type body. More on the lean side but not at all unattractive. He has grey eyes and black frame glasses. He’s got long curly brown hair that he keeps up in a high ponytail. He always has these funny little springs of curls that always escape his hair tie. He’s a very nice person, if a little on the shy side. He’s reserved, empathetic, and had a quirky sense of humour that he rarely showed but was quite funny when in his element. He’s a quality man and you enjoy spending your time with him. You shut the scroll before he can get a good read of it.

“Yeah. Naruto is going to be home sometime today.” You inform him.

“Nice! You must be excited.”

“I am!” You force a laugh.

You technically aren’t lying. You can’t wait to see the young man your Naruto had grown up to be. But you don’t want to freak Hokota out. You really like him, but he’s insecure when you talk to other men. You don’t believe it, but apparently you are a head turner. Plenty of men have tried their chances at you and it wore on your boyfriend’s nerves. Despite your insistence, Hokota was convinced there was something more between you and Jiraiya. You may have shared one too many anecdotes with you chatting up Jiraiya’s charm and humour. You would talk without thinking and it would be too late when you realized how flattering you make this man sound.

“He’s only a friend...” You would assure. “Or more like a father.”

The words feel bitter on your tongue. You don’t want to think of Jiraiya as a father. It felt too weird. You’ve had too many sexual fantasies to keep that distinction.

There’s a knock on the door. You freeze up. Did you really want to see him? What could he possibly want to say to you? After two years of silence what could Jiraiya possibly want from you? Hokota began to go for the door. You snap out of it and run.

“I got it! I got it!” You yell.

If you were going to face Jiraiya, you’d rather alone. It’s too late. Your boyfriend opened the door and guess who was on the other side? You slide in beside him. Jiraiya was looking over the man beside you with a frown.

His eyes drag off of your significant other to you. He looks at you like you betrayed him. He’s not happy. “I need to talk to you. Alone.”

Hokota stepped up. Despite being shorter and not as built, he was willing to step up to his romantic rival. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Jiraiya rudely ignores him and continues to watch you. He doesn’t give a flying fuck what your boyfriend thinks, that’s for sure. Hokota is now staring at you as well. You feel the pressure of a decision as the two men are focused on you. You sigh.

“Hokota... could you let me talk to him for a bit? I-!” You we’re cut off when he sighed.

“Alright. But this is the first and last time I ever want to see this man at my door.” Hokota was disappointed in you. He skulked off into the apartment to let you have your privacy.

“He seems just lovely.” Jiraiya was grouchy. His tone was full of venom.

You turn back to him. “What do want? Make it quick.” You match his harsh tone.

“This is the hello I get after two years?”

You scowl. You put your hands on your hips. You aren’t very impressed with his entitled perspective that you owe him a kind and welcoming hello after he showed up in such a sour mood. “Really? What do you want? You rejected me and told me to move on. I did, then you don’t talk to me for two years. I’m not exactly thrilled to see you.”

“That’s what I want to talk to you about.” He surprises you by grabbing your hand. You hate and love it. It makes you feel warm and tingly. “I couldn’t stand to be away from you so long. I thought about you all the time.” He paused to smile at you for the first time in two years. Seeing it sends a tingle up your spine and heat to your cheeks. You watch his lips move and glance up to his eyes, which had softened into something loving. It’s that look you’ve craved for so long. “I feel stupid for taking so long to realize how much I love you.”

His words have an effect on you. Your heart skips beats as he confesses to you. You know you still have feelings for him but you buried them. You take your hand away from his. Why is he doing this now? Does Jiraiya just enjoy making you confused? His sudden one eighty was hurting your brain as much as your heart. And it pissed you off. He had some balls to waltz into your life again and tell you what you always wanted. What was he expecting? For you to just swoon? Your emotions are running high.

“I’m together with someone else.” You say firmly. “You missed your chance, Jiraiya.”

“No I haven’t.” Jiraiya rejected the idea. He was determined. He pulled you closer until you are almost flush against him. “I love you.”

His lips are on yours before you can comprehend it properly. It was a real kiss. Full of passion and a need to get closer. It’s the kiss you hoped he would have given you two years ago. But he didn’t. You push him away. For a moment you didn’t want to. It’s not fair to your partner.

“I have a boyfriend. You need to leave.” You said firmly. You began to close the door.

Jiraiya shook his head. He refuses to let this happen. He can’t let you go. He put his hand on the door and pushed it open. He walked into your apartment like he owned it. He’s let the last woman he loved go and he’s regretted it all his life. Then you walk into his life and made it better in a way he didn’t know he needed. You’re the companionship he’s needed in his life. You gave him a meaning to keep going. A drive to live. A passion in life that he never felt before. He has a complete family with you and Naruto. He feels so foolish for telling you no two years ago. He was afraid of his feelings. He got hurt last time and he doesn’t want to feel that pain again. He lived his life watching someone he used to love so deeply happy in the arms of another man. Every time he saw it he wanted to throw up. It burned his stomach and he’d lay awake at night in physical pain because it hurt so badly and felt so lonely. That can’t happen again. It’s not going to! He won’t spend another moment pining for you and wished he acted. You are with the wrong man!

“What are you doing? Get out of my house!” You yell at him.

“No! I know you feel the same! I’m not leaving until you tell me that.”

“I hate you!” You raise your voice so loudly it echoes around your house. 

Jiraiya looked like you physically attacked him. He flinched like you struck him with the back of your hand. It’s quiet for several moments. His expression changed. Dull and hurt. He turned stone cold and distant just in expression alone. You already feel bad for saying that. You don’t want him to look at you like that. Your words cut him deeply.

“Fine... You’ve made yourself clear.” He said harshly. He turned around and left.

“Jiraiya...” You find yourself reaching for him as he goes.

Tears blur your vision. You put your hands to your face to catch them. You feel awful. You didn’t mean what you said. You don’t want to see him go. You never want to see him leave again. Why did it hurt so much to watch his back? As his hair sways with his steps and his image fades in the horizon you feel nothing but pain. Like his steps are connected to your heart. Each step he takes away from you, you feel a yank in your chest. Why is it that it hurts when he walks away? Why does it feel like it’s going to be the last time?...

Can you really live with that? Cutting all ties with Jiraiya would hurt tremendously. You can’t imagine life without him in it. He’s been apart of it for so long. His face. His laugh. That goofy smile. The way it feels to have his arms around you. His unlimited warmth always seeped into you on your coldest days. He caught your tears and kissed your forehead to comfort you. He made you feel... good. Important and loved. You haven’t found that in anyone else...

“You love him. Don’t you?”

You look up. Hokota is standing at the door. It’s still swung open. He looks back to you. There’s acceptance in his face. He looked sad and hurt as well. 

“I just want you to be honest with me.” He said your name seriously and full of emotion. “Do you love him?”

You stare at Hokota for a long time. You feel terrible. You aren’t sure how to answer for several moments. What you want is slipping out of your hands, but what you have is on the verge of leaving. The responsible thing is to deny it. You have a loving and supportive boyfriend. But your mouth is connected to your heart. It opens and the answer flies out beyond your control.

“Yes.”

He nods. “Fine.... Fine. Goodbye.”

He turns and leaves as well. Not that you blame him. He doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship with a woman who is in love with another man. It’s not fair. You linger in your house. You stare out the open door. You cry out and launch into a full speed run. You don’t want to move on! You don’t want to have the man who meant so much to you leave your life. You tried so hard to find love in someone else, but it wasn’t the same. No one is like him!

“Jiraiya!” You call loudly.

He’s easy to spot in a crowd. He’s tall and his hair stuck out like white snow in the green summer. He turns around. His eyes widen at the sight of you barreling towards him. He barely has time to brace as you crash into him in a big hug. He stumbled back and yelped in surprise as you had the strength to knock him over. It’s a hard enough impact where his legs flew up and one of his gata flew off his foot. He lands on his back with you on top in the middle of the street. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I don’t hate you! I didn’t mean it!” You cry against his chest. “I love you! I love you so much! Please forgive me!”

Jiraiya put his arms around you. He sat up with you straddling his waist. He raised his hands to your face. He caresses your cheeks with his fingers partly in your hairline. He leaned forward and kissed you. A real kiss. A proper full lips on lips with his head tilted to get in as close as possible. You hum against his lips. The feeling of it was something you couldn’t even imagine in your dreams. You grip the collar of his kosode to keep him there. It was stealing his breath away. The last two kisses were nothing compared to this. When it broke, you as well as him are smiling.

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper. You press your forehead against his. Even with the horned piece of metal there, it was still intimate and close. You run your hands up his neck and to his cheeks to a similar position to where his hands are on you. “I was mad at you and I didn’t want to admit that I still love you.”

“I’m sorry too.” He said. He pushed your dark red hair away from your face. You inherited that Uzumaki trait and he loved how your hair looks in the sun. It shines like fire under the golden rays. “I sprung all of this on you after telling you no.” He kissed you again. He’s already addicted to the feeling of it. “And I’ve never regretted something more.”

It was true. Jiraiya spent those two years feeling so lonely. He despised how he left you. It took all of his will power to keep going and not turn back. He wanted to so badly. He wanted to scoop you off of the ground and kiss you. To take it all back and beg for forgiveness. Because he did love you. He loved you a lot. But he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. He told himself it’s wrong. You aren’t even thirty and he’s already over fifty. It’s not fair to you. The reality of the age difference is what halted him. If you did love him, then there isn’t a lot of time to enjoy it. It’s inevitable that he’s likely to die first. And when that happens he didn’t want you to spend so much of your life a sad widow. The Uzumaki are known for their strong life force and exuberant chakra. They all have notability long lives because of that. Most don’t die until way into their hundreds. The image of you aging lonely and missing him tore him up. You deserve a partner to grow old with, not one that is already one foot under.

Then Jiraiya left. He travelled around the world with Naruto. He saw your influence on the excitable teen. He saw a reflection of you in Naruto and he missed you more. You raised that boy full of love and happiness. It shone through so clearly of every moment of every day. Only a week in and Jiraiya realized what a stupid mistake he made. He can’t deny himself what he feels. He’s done that before and it drove him into a depression he never really got over. Until he met you. He knew you were special even when you were young. But he really grew to love you when he helped you raise Naruto. You helped him realized what he‘s truly wanted in life. Which was a family. It felt so incomplete without you there. Broken up and missing pieces. He’s the reason he broke the pieces. He badly wanted to put it together again. 

But Jiraiya was scared to tell you. He didn’t reach out because he was scared you would reject him. He was terrified you hated him for leaving you. And it’s not so romantic to confess feelings over a letter. In person was so much more intimate and genuine. It’s easy to write but harder to speak. Even then he was finding it hard to really express how he feels about you on paper. He had to look you in the eyes and hold you when he told you how he felt. And the one god damn time you take his advice and get yourself a man, he steeled his resolve and told you anyways. Not everyone gets a second chance to find love, and he had to try. 

“I’m glad I did.” Jiraiya said with a smile. He ran his hand down your cheek in an affectionate caress. “I just wish I was younger.”

“Let’s just enjoy the time we have.” You say in a hushed tone. You hold his face and bring him forward for more kisses. “And I think I know the perfect way to start.” You whisper against his lips.

You feel Jiraiya’s lips curl into a smile. He likes that idea. He stood up with you in his arms. You curled your legs around his waist as he carried you away. Some people were certainly staring. It’s not everyday they see Jiraiya actually holding a woman. The great display of public affection wasn’t that normal in Konoha. Especially amongst ninja. They aren’t a touchy feely type of group. So to see such a high ranking and legendary one with the young black sheep of the village always caused some heads to turn. No one ever really liked that Jiraiya associated with you. Now you’re together with him. It’s an interesting social problem to think about later. For now, you are too preoccupied with holding and rolling your hips against the man you’ve wanted for years. He struts back to your apartment with you in his arms. He kicks the door closed behind him. He sets you down on your bed. The nerves set in as he crawls on over top of you.

“You’re going to see me naked.” You state quietly.

“Nice.”

A small laugh escapes you from Jiraiya’s response. It came with a smirk and a nod of his head. He’s confident at least. He’s excited to get started but feels a bit of nervousness as well. Which he’s never really felt before when it came to sex. But you mean so much to him. He’s known you for so long and it’s still a little strange to think he’s going to do this. Not as weird as he thought it was going to be. A part of Jiraiya half expected his desire to fuck Kushina’s little sister would have risen her from the grave just to beat his ass. Or at least have her spirit haunt him for perving on you. She was always very protective of you. She beat up all your bullies for you when you were little and he didn’t want to be on the wrong end of that. But there’s no ominous energy, just the jitters of excitement that comes with seeing someone naked for the first time.

“I’ve thought about this moment for a long time.” You continue to say. You reach out towards him. He’s quiet and his eyes are searching yours curiously as your fingers grab the metal forehead protector. You find the tie and pull it off. His bangs that were pushed up by the material now fell on his skin almost to his eyes. He looks so nice with all of his face showing and not distracted by the metal. He’s so handsome. Especially over top of you. “I’ve always wanted this. I’ve always wanted you.”

“Is that so?” Jiraiya asks with a smile. It’s one of those smiles that’s content and loving as he looks over you. You’ve always wanted him to smile at you like that. “That’s a lot of pressure to live up to your expectations. I hope I can preform~!” He said with a wink.

“I know you will.”

He huffs a laugh. You move and help him take your clothes off. You drag your hands down the hemmed edge of his shirt. You’re down in to just your panties in a matter of minutes. It’s time Jiraiya took his stuff off. You help him take off the netted armour shirt he wears. The dark exterior of the material hid his body. You gasp as his torso is revealed. A scar you’ve never seen on him before is there. It’s big! It has an impact point on his lower belly and the attack must have been strong as it ripped his skin up like nylon against rocks. It sprawls out like lightning in a random pattern in his skin. It went all the way up to his collarbone and wrapped around his sides. It’s deep in his flesh.

“What happened?” You asked. You run your hands over it with a worried frown. The scarred skin was dry and rough in comparison to the unmarked skin around it.

“Don’t worry about it.” Jiraiya answered with a smile.

“Oh Jiraiya. Come on, what happened?” You trace the highest point of the scar at his collarbone down to the concave impact point. This was no small issue. That must have been agonizing to live through. The image of him covered in his own blood and writhing in pain is already forming in your brain.

He leaned down to kiss you. “You won’t like the answer. Just drop it for now.” He lowered his voice as his lips hovered above yours. He kissed you. “Let’s just get on with it, shall we?”

“Alright. Then you better take your pants off.” You let the subject go and bring up the one that’s more important.

“With pleasure!”

Jiraiya stood up. He’s got that big grin on his face and he’s all too happy to disrobe to the nude. You find your eyes pausing at his bellybutton. You are going to see Jiraiya naked. A man you’ve known since your were seven. You split your legs as they are blocking your view of his groin. You’ve seen a naked man before. You’ve had sex before. But you feel like a flighty virgin seeing Jiraiya naked. Anxiety and anticipation was making you antsy. It just sorta dawned on you. Once you see his dick, there’s really no going back.

Your eyes follow the natural line down Jiraiya’s body. He’s standing at the edge of the bed, letting you look at him in all his glory. He has a hand on his hip while the other nervously rubs the back of his neck. He’s blushing. He’s thought about this moment for a long time. You look so... sexy. It’s kinda nice to have a woman stare at his body with such focus. But do you like it? You just look owlish and curious. After several moments, your raise your gaze to his eyes. Your cheeks got a heavy flush to them. You smile and bite your bottom lip. You hook your thumbs around the band of your underwear and pull them off.

“It’s only fair if you see me too.” You say.

You don’t let Jiraiya think on your words as you spread your legs. His eyes grow wide. Okay this is happening. He’s officially staring at you in all your lovely nakedness. You even lower your hand to touch yourself. Your cheeks feel as red as your hair. You spread the folds of your lips apart so he can really get a good look.

“Fuck.” Jiraiya curses quietly. This is really appealing to him. The sigh of you presenting yourself like this is really turning him on. There’s something so arousing about a woman in such a compromising position just for him to enjoy. “You are gorgeous.”

“Thank you... you are too.” You return the compliment. You run your finger over your clit and bite back a moan. You switch between looking him in the eye and down to his cock. He’s hard. He’s big. “I can’t wait any longer.” You invite him in by spreading your legs farther. “Fuck me, Jiraiya! I want to know what it’s like.”

Jiraiya didn’t need to be told twice. He got back onto the bed. He crawled slowly on his hands and knees until he was over top of you. His face is parallel above you. His hands are beside your head. His hair had fallen down like a curtain around his face. It is so long. It’s so pretty. Such a brilliant pure white. It’s fluffy and wild. Now it’s tickling your skin as he hovers above you with that loving smile. Your legs are pressed against his. You run your hands up his arms. He’s nice and warm. Jiraiya sunk down over top of you. His body weight rested against you. The comfort of the bed and pillows made it completely tolerable. He brought his hands down. He held a handful of your ass as he guided his cock inside of you.

You grip onto his shoulders. Your mouth is stuck in a silent cry as you take every inch. He does it slowly so you can really feel ever little bit of his length. It felt so good! Deep and thick. It stretched you in just the right way. You can feel every little movement. You push your hips down to meet his, wanting to take it all.

“Fuck! Jiraiya!” You gasp and speak in a shaky voice. “You feel so good!”

“You do too!” His voice was husky and breathless.

This is exactly what he’s wanted for years! Oh what a fool he’s been for denying himself such a delectable feeling! It’s like you are made for him. It’s hot, tight, and it’s never felt this amazing. You look so good flushed, naked, and hot while taking his dick. Your mouth parted to breath because just the insertion was enough to fire up your body into a frenzy of arousal. You’re his perfect woman. And he can’t wait to show you what exactly that means.

You curl your legs behind Jiraiya’s ass. He held you by your ass, gripping it tightly. You press yourself against him. He began to rock his hips. It caused moans from both him and you. You adjust your grip to wrap your arms around him. It brought you closer. You had a real strong hold on him to take everything he gives you. But Jiraiya kept it slow. He’s breathless and panting for air from the sensation. It’s wet and squeezing him because you’re so aroused. He can feel how wet you are as it’s even trailing down to your ass and meeting his fingers. It smells amazing. The perfume of sex just seems to be clinging to the sheets as he fucks you on them. One of your hands grip a fistful of his hair. Your legs are shaking. It’s bringing you to tears because it’s never felt so good. It felt right. Like the last piece to a puzzle clicking in place to create a full picture. It’s absolute bliss.

Jiraiya moaned your name. He buried his face against your neck. He moved his hands up to the back of your thighs. Brought your legs up, folding them up, and setting your calves on his shoulders. You loosen your grip to let him manipulate your body. The position changed the angle ever so slightly. Jiraiya pressed his legs around your butt to keep you secure. He’s still bent over you, but somehow even closer. His skin his hot and sweaty against yours. It’s making you even hotter. His lips cover your neck in kisses. His breathing is a quick wave of air over your skin. He picks up the pace.

“Ah!” Was all you could cry out.

It’s fast and hard. It’s almost sensory overload. The bed is creaking from the force of it. The top of your head is hitting the headboard. The slap of his hips meeting your ass was echoing in your ears along with his sensual moans. Your heels press into his back. All your muscles contract with a familiar build up you waited so long for Jiraiya to trigger.

You dig your fingers into Jiraiya’s shoulders. You throw your head back and scream. His breath hitches against your ear. He pressed his hips as deeply as possible against you. The wave of your orgasm crashed down on you like a title wave. He stays still to not overwhelm you. Once the majority of the sensation is over, he resumes moving. You moan in response as the sensation was over the top.

“Keep going!” You shout. You steal his lips in an aggressive kiss. You stare into his eyes. You bite his bottom lip lightly between your teeth. “Fuck me all night long~!”

“Heh!” Jiraiya exhaled a breathless chuckle. He could do this all night long, and it’s only the afternoon. He grabbed the back of your thighs and split your legs into a wide stance. He widens his own stance to really get some power to his thrusts. He pecks you with a quick kiss and smirks. “As you wish, baby!”

You grip fistfuls of his hair as he puts bone crushing power to his thrusts. It’s rocking your whole body with the power behind it. You probably won’t be able to walk tomorrow! Jiraiya is putting your pelvis through a work out. But you couldn’t be happier. A little bit of a rough and wild first fuck with the man you love seemed to fit perfectly. It was hard and passionate.

Jiraiya didn’t have the patience to be gentle and slow. He’s done enough waiting! He was practically celibate for two years because he only wanted you. He’s got enough pent up sexual desire to go for years uninterrupted. Which sounded perfect. Beginning each day and ending each day with a romp in the sack sounded just right. You don’t have anything better to do. Maybe you could reinstate your military license and join Jiraiya on his aimless wanders around the world. Where you could just spend everyday getting fucked into oblivion by your lover. It certainly sounded fun. Even a little dangerous. But life isn’t fun without a little danger!

“I wish you came along!” Jiraiya cried out. He dropped one of your legs to scoop you up by your lower back and force you against him as tightly as possible. His thrust changed into a wide swivel. He went back on his knees and rose back up while rolling his hips in and out. It was slower, but it got as deep as possible inside of you. Which was a heavenly sensation. “We could have done this everyday! I missed you so much!”

“I do too!” You yell in between heavy pants that were in synch to his thrusts. You hold his head in place to kiss him. “I missed you! I love you!”

“I love you too! Ah!” He ended it with a wanton cry as he tilted his head back. He lifted you to keep you slightly elevated off the bed. You sway with the momentum of his hips. He grits his teeth as his stomach develops knots. “I-I’m close!”

“Me too!” You gasp as your body begins to seize again. You hold on for dear life as you hang on the edge with him.

Jiraiya pressed his lips against yours again. He gave one final hard thrust of his hips and buried himself as deeply as possible inside of you. The sensation from your contracting walls to your quivering body sent him over the edge. He held his lips on yours as he came. His final cry was muffled and high pitched in his throat. You follow right after. The sensation of him hitting his peak pushed you over. You hold your breath and your tongue is pressed against his. It’s tense for several seconds as both you and him savour the high for as long as possible.

The kiss broke with a wet smack. The quiet room was filled with loud panting from you and your lover. Jiraiya finally relaxed and his weight rested on you. He’s never been rendered so weak from this activity before. He’s even shaking from the stimulation. His thighs, arms, and torso are shivering like he had hypothermia. All in a good way. He’s thrilled to have finally had made some love with you. Maybe he waited too long. He even kept his eyes from wandering because it felt weird. He only wanted you, he didn’t see the pleasure in spying on other women anymore. And now that he had you, he’s got all the material he needs to write another book. Fuck it! He could write a ten part series on what it’s like to fuck you!

After several long seconds, Jiraiya recovers enough to roll off of you. You gasp in a breath as his weight, while nice in warmth and felt extremely secure, restricted your breathing. You stretch your legs out before they got too stiff. As the air of your apartment cooled you off, you desired the blankets underneath you. With some maneuvering with your shaky partner, the combined efforts got both you and him under the warm blankets. You reach your arms above your head and arch your back in a satisfying stretch. You roll to your side and cuddle up to your beloved. You trace the high point of the scar on his chest. You drag your hand down it.

Jiraiya catches your hand under the blanket. It tickled. Most of the nerves were severely damaged, but they were alive enough to feel a tickle from your gentle caress. He kissed your palm before placing your hand on his cheek. He likes the affectionate gesture of having his face held. It’s nice to hold his cheek. It’s warm and soft. Jiraiya looks so happy. His lips pulled into that affectionate smile. You run your thumb back and forth along his cheek. His eyes are staring into yours.

“I love you.” Jiraiya says. He’s thrilled to finally be able to tell you that.

“I love you too.” You say back. You hold his cheek and kiss him passionately. It feels so freeing to finally be able to do this. To hold and love the one person you’ve always wanted to do it with. There’s something so peaceful about it.

“I won’t ever leave you again.” He promises. He kissed your palm and wrist, then down your arm. He ended at your elbow and skipped the rest to kiss your lips.

You push your head forward to keep his lips on yours for as long as possible to savour it before he pulled away. You smile immediately afterwards. “I won’t ever let you leave me again.”

A quiet laugh left Jiraiya in response. That sounds good. He’ll take the initiative to prolong his life for as long as possible to be with you for as long as possible. There’s a lifetime of a relationship to build and enjoy with you. He’ll make that lifetime last for as long as he can, because he loves just being with you. There’s a lot of missed time to make up for. He put his arm around you to keep you held close against him. He used his other hand to play with your hair. It’s a mess from the ride he took you on. He combed down the tangles and let the strands fall out of his hands before grabbing another lock to play with. You keep him occupied with kisses and quiet promises. Your feet are rubbing and playing with his. Your hips rub against his. You are in the mood for more. He is too.

You roll over, pushing Jiraiya onto his back and straddling him. You make out with him. He grunts as you grind against him. His hands lightly stroke up and down your back. You moan against his lips as you could feel him getting hard again.

There was a creak. Then a clatter. The sound of the front door swinging open shook the house. You turn ridged. The messy and passionate kiss you were sharing with Jiraiya broke. You sat up and listen intently. All your senses were on high. It was a little frustrating and scary. You are really horny and want to keep going. But who the heck was in your house? You don’t wanna ride it hard when there’s a stranger that could witness it. Or worse, someone you know.

“Auntie I’m home!”

You exchanged a horrified look with Jiraiya. He sat up swiftly, practically throwing you off. Shit! Panic set in. His plan was to grab his stuff and hide. Not that he’s ashamed of being with you, but being caught with his dick out having sex with you was not the ideal way to announce a relationship. Naruto sure knows how to make an entrance. And at the worst time! He’s almost out of your bed when the teen entered your bedroom.

You watch the series of emotions on Naruto’s face. There’s confusion. Then realization. Then horror. And finally it lands on anger as he eyes Jiraiya down. To save some dignity, Jiraiya had gathered the sheets up to cover himself. You can’t even differentiate his markings from his face he’s so red. You had the blankets up to your neck. Your whole face is probably matching your hair. This is certainly not how you wanted to break the news to your nephew that you are in a relationship with his teacher.

“Pervy Sage.” Naruto said in a deadly tone.

“N-Now Naruto! Just wait a second and let me explain.” Jiraiya raised a hand towards Naruto in a gesture for him to stop.

“What did you do to my auntie?!”

“Nothing!”

“Bullcrap it ain’t nothing!” Naruto pointed in accusation towards you. “She’s naked! You’re naked! Don’t you have any self control?!”

The two men are dodging each other. Jiraiya is desperately trying to explain himself while avoiding Naruto’s ill executed attacks. They were some weak wrist punches as Naruto was too flustered, annoyed, and freaking out from the whole situation to throw a real hit. You stand up and secure your toga around yourself. You broke up the fight by hugging your nephew.

“Look how much you’ve grown! And your voice changed! You’ve really grown into a man.” You coo at him. You keep him squeezed into a tight hug to keep him from antagonizing Jiraiya any further.

Naruto huffs. He’s looking over your shoulder to glare at Jiraiya, who narrowed his eyes at the little punk. The two men in your life are staring each other down. Both unwilling to step down. Naruto put his arms around you and Jiraiya grabbed your hips. The glaring continues. It seems there will be some competition for your affections between your beloved and your nephew.

“I’m so sorry you found out this way.” You apologized. You back away to give Naruto some air and you look him in the eyes. You give him a kiss on the forehead like he was still little. He was in your eyes. “But me and Jiraiya are together.”

“Yeah I’ll say.” He grumbled.

“Hey now!” You lightly scold him. You raise his chin so he’s not pouting so hard and he has no choice but to look at you. “Don’t stick your lip out! This is a brand new thing. I’m in love with him.”

Jiraiya steps up to stand beside you. He puts his hand on your hip and pulls you against his side. “I love her too.”

Naruto looks back and forth between you and Jiraiya. He’s still not thrilled, that’s for sure. He crosses his arms and frowns at you.

“What do you see in this old perv anyways?” He asked doubtfully. In his opinion, you could do better.

You laugh while Jiraiya pouted at the comment. You wrap an arm around the back of his waist with your hand resting on his hip. “I love him because he was the only one who always looked out for me, even when the rest of the village told him not to. He was always the support I needed.” You explain. You look up at him and he’s smiling. He ran his hand up your side and leaned down to kiss the top of your head. “I feel like I owe you a lot.”

“You owe me nothing.” Jiraiya said. He kissed you when you raised your head to look at him. He spoke quietly against your lips. “I’d happily do it all over again.”

You smile and rest your head on his chest. His gentle fingers run back down and grab your ass. He jumps when you return the favour. Hm. He’s got a nice butt. Firm with a little bit of meat on it to grip. Jiraiya’s clothing was too loose to see, but it probably had a little jiggle to it when he walked. You’ll have to find out.

“Okay... okay fine.” Naruto sighed.

The idea wasn’t so bad. His auntie and perverted caretaker together. He looks over to you... You look happy. Content. You look nice beside Jiraiya. It’s just odd to think, you don’t really smile much unless it’s with Jiraiya. That was the one thing he noticed ever since he was little. If Jiraiya really makes you happy then Naruto will bare with it. He looks over at the older man with a sour face. But if the old perv does anything to make you cry, you can bet your nephew will raise hell.

“Atta boy.” You affectionately say. You ruffle his soft blond hair. Oh how he’s growing to up to look so much like his father. He’s not so little anymore. He’s as tall as you are. Maybe even a bit more. “Can you run along? Just so me and Jiraiya can get dressed?”

He narrows his eyes suspiciously at Jiraiya as he turned on his heel to leave. Jiraiya returns the expression and makes a point to kiss you in a over obnoxious way that was sure to bug a teenager. Naruto scoffed in disgust and picked up the pace.

“Just don’t do anything else!” He warned. “You promised to get me ramen when I got home!”

“We’ll all get ramen together!” You promise. “Jiraiya’s treat!”

“Hey!” Jiraiya complained. He make a mockery of an over dramatic offended gawk. “Don’t go spending all my money! Do you know how much a teenage boy eats?”

You laugh. “Oh please! Try raising one!”

You and him shared some mutual loud laughter. All while Naruto whined impatiently from the front door. You take your time gathering your things. Jiraiya distracts you by bending over while gathering his things. You inspect and yeah, even his back half is nice to look at. Especially since it’s naked and not walking away from you.

“Are you checking me out?” He asked with a smirk. He’s looking over his shoulder at you.

“I might be.” You didn’t deny it. “You got a nice ass on you. I can’t believe I didn’t notice until now.”

He cocks a brow. His smirk gets bigger as the compliment boosts his confidence. “Is that so?” He struts over to you and bends over in an over animated bow to kiss you. “Personally, I’ve noticed your ass for a few years now. It was nice holding it the whole time I was-!”

“Aren’t you two ready yet?!” Naruto demanded loudly from his position at the door. He refused to take a step further until he knows there’s clothes covering... things. He’s seen enough of you and Jiraiya to give him nightmares. Heh heh, poor little guy.

Jiraiya sighs with a small bit of annoyance. That kid just knows how to ruin the mood. You grab him by the back of the neck and force him down for a kiss to console him. The little gestures of love and affection was absolutely addictive. You are going to drown this man in kisses. He’s all to happy to return the favour! He’s already imagining what your neck will look like covered in hickies. Same with your inner thighs and breasts. He smiles at all the possibilities that are laid before him with you at his side. All of them good. A bright future is ahead of him now. 

Once all sorted and dressed, along with Jiraiya, he offered you his hand. You grab it and he leads you out. You just feel... happy. Two years of misery and loneliness had left you in the span of a few hours. You have what you always wanted. The man you love and your nephew. Sure, it was a bumpy ride to get to where you are, but you are where you want to be. You have your own little ragtag family. Scraped up and glued together with unconditional love. You had the two boys in your life who have always made you happy.

You don’t plan on ever letting them go. Never again shall your family be parted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept the bf an oc since he’s just a throw away. I figured that made the most sense. Hope you enjoyed what I did with the reader in this scenario! I thought it added more flare and drama if reader was directly related to Naruto and it created more motivation to be a caretaker and mother figure to our beloved pure hearted smol son.


	28. Sick in The Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’ve been sick for days out in the middle of the forest. There’s nothing out here aside from you and your loving husband, who is a little over dramatic about the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something to tide ye over while I work on some the sequels lmao

Stifled coughing caught his attention. Jiraiya looked over his shoulder to check on you. You are still bundled up. You have the sleeve of one of the kosodes he draped over you against your mouth to muffle your coughing. Your cheeks are flush and your complexion is grey. There’s sweat and dampness all over your body. He sighs and reaches out his hand to pet your head and check your temperature.

“I’m fine.” You automatically say. Your voice is raspy and weak.

“I know.” Jiraiya learned long ago to not to argue with you.

He sighs. You are still very hot. Your fever hasn’t gone down. You’ve been coughing until you are winded and on the verge of throwing up. Its been several days now. There’s no sign of getting better. The weather isn’t helping. It’s been raining for days. The rain water has soaked practically everything. The only shelter was the one Jiraiya slapped together with fir branches and young tree logs. But he’s no master at this. He may have been living very nomadically most of his life, but he spent the rainy days tucked snuggly against trees with good canopies. He always seemed to get caught in the rain when he’s in the wilds. No humans or structures. None that are meant for sheltering anyways. Now that he’s not alone, he had to come up with better solutions than curl up under a tree. He has you to take of now.

The fire in front of him popped. Even in this weather, he’s managed to kindle a small fire. The roof of the shelter was doing it’s job for the most part. It was a little leaky. Jiraiya was close to losing his damn mind last night when drops of water kept dripping onto his cheek. He turned back around and focused on keeping that flame going. The heat was trapped in the small area. Which helped as it was very cold out. He blew some air into it while tossing another damp log on top. It was smoky as the flames burned off the water.

A new coughing fit followed. You hold your side as it feels like you are coughing up a lung. Once it’s over, you groan and cuddle up tighter under the clothing. Jiraiya had lovingly tossed all of the spare clothing on you to keep you warm and dry. In the meanwhile he looked like a drowned rat. His hair is soaked, it’s plastered to his face and body. His clothing is no better. It’s dark from the saturation and falling off of his shoulders and hips. It won’t be long until he gets sick. But he’s been an over dramatic goofball like always when it comes to you. He’s been making some sacrifices to help your health. The dog pile of clothing, the leaky shelter he spent hours on, the more hours it took getting a fire going. He was the main hunter and gatherer. The food options out in the woods was limited to say the least. He was good at these skills. But he was too worried to leave you for long periods of time. It’s like he expected you to suddenly stop breathing or something supernatural will take you out. No one is around. Just you and your husband.

Too bad you are sick. Or else it would have been sex in the rain. That would be lovely. The cold rain on your bare skin, along with his, as you rock your body against his. The cold pellets of water pecking your skin with its icy kisses as the heat of your body was offsetting the cold. The feeling of his warm wet lips on your neck while trails of cold rain follows sounded rather good. Same with how the rain would feel caressing your thighs as his fingers run down them. His skin having goosebumps from the cold and from how good the mix of sensations are. Watching his face as he turned it to the sky to cry out in pleasure. The sprinkling of drops flying off of his hair, nose, chin, and lips from the force of it. The contrast of the cold around you and the heat within you finally coming to an end as he floods your insides with his hot seed.

“Jiraiya~!” You coo at him.

He looks over his shoulder again. A brow raises. Are you really doing this? You rolled over onto your back. Your hair is tangled from tossing around under the clothing. Your still look ashen and sweaty. That smile on your face and they way you bite your lower lip looks a little drunk as you are a little hazy in your sickness. Your blinks become out of synch with grogginess. You toss off some of the layers over top of you. Your clothing is disheveled and half off of your shoulders. You pull on them further to reveal more in hopes to entice him.

Jiraiya just smiled. You aren’t usually so... blatant. Then again, you are married to him. You help him write his stories though experience and experiments, as all good research materials do. Perhaps he’s been a bad influence on you after years of being exposed to him. He turned around to face you. Now, as much as he enjoys seeing your naked body, it’s not so sexy when you look like a corpse. He reached his arms over you to grab the makeshift blanket. It’s best you don’t get any wetter. You grab his arm and pull him down.

“Whoa!” He chucked a little.

“Come on, honey!” You try to sound flirty, but it more came out like you got a squeaky toy in your throat. You hook your other hand around the back of his neck to force him down all the way to meet you awaiting cracked lips.

“Wha-!” Jiraiya complained before his lips met yours. He pulled away right after. “Babe! What has gotten into you?”

You pout. You frown and puff your cheeks out. “What do you mean?! You’re always horny!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!” You pull him back down.

He huffed but let you kiss him. He hasn’t really touched you in a while. Touching your forehead and kissing it didn’t really count. As nice as it felt to feel the love from those little gestures, it’s not the same as his body over top yours. With his bare naked skin rubbing against yours. Your poor drowned rat won’t even sleep next you. He sleeps on the other side of the shelter by the entrance. Where the chattering of his teeth keeps you up. He wakes up throughout the night to throw more wood onto the fire and check on you. He doesn’t want to bother you by always shifting around to do these things. He hasn’t been dry in a week. He deserves to take care of himself too!

The kiss broke when you began to cough. Jiraiya pulled back with a frown. Hm. Gross. You coughed right into his mouth. He was going to make a remark, but you wouldn’t stop coughing. It was a fit that was longer and more violent than the ones before it. Your body his shaking. You have your arms braced around your ribs. You can’t get a good breath in. Not wanting you to choke on whatever you are trying to cough up, Jiraiya rolled you onto your side. He held you there and rubbed your back as you coughed violently. It was like someone was crushing your lungs in their hands. You are shaking by the time it is over. The fluids you coughed up gathered in your throat. You spat it out. Gross.

“It’s better than swallowing it.” Jiraiya comforted you with a nonchalant shrug.

You roll over. You hold onto his hand. “Don’t go, okay? I don’t want you to leave.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Not even for food.” You grip him tighter. “Just stay here.”

He hesitated. That’s not the best idea. He’s been going out everyday in search of anything. Your beloved husband is doing his best for you. That included stinging his hands on nettles to cook down into a natural cold remedy. Along with thyme and even chamomile. He was very proud to have made these finds out in the woods. But herbs are everywhere if one knows where to look. He’s spent enough time outside to know what to look for. He thought the lessons were stupid as a kid, but he’s grateful now that he paid enough attention to know what to do. Out in the wilds, even a cold can be deadly.

The food itself has been... meh. Even the animals are hiding from the rain. Hunting was rather difficult. The biggest thing Jiraiya managed to catch was a rabbit. The little thing didn’t have a lot of meat on it, but it made a good enough meal. It’s been berries and wild herbs ever since. Your belly growls at night. So does his.

“It’ll be fine.” You insist. “What’s one more day?”

“It’s not fine.”

You frown at him. You pull on his hand to coax him into your little clothing bunker. He looks cold. He’s a bit pale and shivery. There’s goosebumps on his skin. The sun is going to go down soon. It’s only going to get colder. You can already see his breath.

“Take your clothes off.” You say.

“I’m not having sex with you while you’re sick!”

“That’s not what I meant!” You punch his leg. “Survival 101. Take your clothes off, hang them to dry over the fire and curl up with your fucking wife!”

Jiraiya crosses his arms and looks at you with a cocked brow. “Really? You want me to get naked just so I can lay in the mud next to you?”

“Yes. Why are you complaining? I figured you’d be all over this.”

He lets out a long sigh. A visible shudder runs through his body. Well... it would be nice to be next to you. He doesn’t mind getting some of your germs on him. And to be out of these soaked clothes would be lovely. He feels like all of him is pruned from the water.

Jiraiya starts with his outermost layer. You watch him with a smile. He’s so nice to look at. He’s all muscles. But they aren’t too big or veiny. And underneath all his big loose layers was all of that for you to enjoy and love. To kiss and worship. You know it all so well. The spot on his lower neck that when you nibble on he squirms. The faint scar over his left peck that you like to trace and kiss. The punctures and cuts along his arms and thighs you often kiss and love. They are all defensive wounds from guarding himself in battle. They make him no less beautiful. He sometimes stares at them. They mark his past and he doesn’t like that. It’s the reason you kiss them. He always gives you a bashful smile when you pay attention to these marks.

It’s hard to breath through all the congestion. You are getting tired. You throw the damp clothes over your body back just enough for him to slide in. He’s naked and a shiver immediately runs through your body as his icy skin touches yours. It’s through your clothing but you can feel the popsicle he became. Which was odd, because he’s usually your personal space heater. His icicle hands settle on his favourite place on your butt. You can feel the wrinkles from his pruned fingers.

“You’re so cold!” You are surprised. You nuzzle your face against his chest. You put a kiss on his chilly skin. “How can you stand to be so?”

“Meh.” Jiraiya shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve slept in worse conditions.”

“You don’t have to.” You nuzzle into him harder. You wrap your arms around him and keep him in a tight hug. “You don’t ever have to with me around.”

“I know.”

His lips press against your head in a loving kiss. It was very comforting. Having him close was much better than having that wet lump that slunked around at night like a bog monster. It’s nice to hold you. It’s the one thing Jiraiya always loves to do. It’s a sense of security that he hasn’t had before he met you. That feeling at night where he knows he’s not alone and can rest easy. It was actually rather hard to sleep away from you now. He’s accustomed to holding you, he knows you are there. His hands tend to wander around him, looking for you to latch onto. Then when he can’t find you, it forces his brain to wake up with the irrational fear that you are missing. A few times this gross rainy week, he gave in late at night when he couldn’t fall back asleep. He just had to be near you. So he crawled up next to you and found a space to snuggle.

“I love you.” You say with your cracky sick voice.

“I love you too.” Jiraiya said very quietly.

You fall soon fall asleep. It was easy to since the sickness made you rather sleepy. It was the best sleep you’ve gotten in a while, since you had your husband next to you. The familiar things that help you rest were all there. The sound of his heartbeat, the feel of his body on yours, the smell, the feeling of his hair tickling your cheek. It was an easy lullaby to fall asleep to.

In the morning, it’s the absent minded stroking of your hair that wakes you up. The first thing that’s noticeable is that you can breath through your nose. The congestion isn’t there anymore. Your throat doesn’t hurt nearly as badly. The swishy feeling in your head was gone. You open your eyes and look up. Jiraiya was still waking up. His eyes were closed, but twitching as he debated going back to sleep. His fingers are playing with your hair as he thought. You make up his mind for him as you stretch your neck to kiss his chin. Then his neck. Then his collarbone.

“Hm...” He hummed and smiled. He opened his eyes and looked down to you. “Morning.”

“Morning!” You say, your voice much better than the day before. You sound more like yourself.

His habit of kissing your forehead before your lips was alive and well as his lips gently press against your skin. He smiles right after. 

“Your fever is down.” He was relieved.

“I feel better.”

“That’s good.”

Jiraiya feels better too. He’s warm. He’s finally dry. Your hands run up his sides and then down his front. You can’t resist kissing down his chest before going back up to his lips. His hand slides along your thigh, pushing the clothing your wearing out of the way. You are rolled over onto your back as he is on top. You hold his face with your hands on his cheeks and fingertips scratching along his hairline. He stays there to continue to kiss you. His hands slide down your sides to grab the hem of your shirt.

Something caught your eye. You gasp and broke the kiss. Jiraiya pulled back to look you over wondering why you reacted like that. You are grinning from ear to ear. You point excitedly to the entrance of the shelter.

“It stopped raining!” You clarify your excitement.

He looked over his shoulder. The long awaited sun was out. It was morning, so it’s not quite warm yet, but it’s bright. The golden rays were long missed among the grey clouds. Above him hanging on the support of the shelter, his clothes were dry. The fire was still smouldering enough to rekindle. He freezes on instinct to be quiet. The head of a curious deer just poked into view. It looked well fed.

You exchange a smile with your husband. It seems luck had just turned in yours and his favour. Everything was in place for a good day. It was going to be warm and comfortable. With food and sun. Maybe even sex by the fire, if you can convince Jiraiya you are well enough. He seemed happy to get started with a good romp only a few minutes ago. He’ll be reeling to go after a good hunt and hearty meal. He kissed you passionately before retreating to get a weapon. It seems he’s going to hunt in the buff. He’s too hungry and excited to throw on his pants. You watch him go as he sneaks out in full stealth mode. 

Things are looking up! Soon, you’ll be well fed. Soon, you will be healthy enough to travel. Soon, you’ll have your husband back between your legs. It’ll all be good. Everything will sort itself out for the better.


	29. After Two Years Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two months later, you and Jiraiya are still going strong. Everything is going well. As well as it can go given some of the circumstances. Like a nosey teenager who loves to interject, the general public’s reaction to the relationship, gaining some closure, and the issues of being an active shinobi. Luckily, Jiraiya has a solution for all of these problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to hit all of the notes mentioned when I discussed with the requester. Along with a few other things! I just wanted to make this really fluffy and happy with a dash of sad in the middle lol. Hope I did it good!

Your back hits the countertop. You hum against Jiraiya’s lips as forced you down. He’s over top of you again. His tongue is exploring your mouth. He has his hands on your thighs and he is comfortable between them. He has you pulled up flush against his body. Lunch was quickly being forgotten about. The broth is boiling over on the stove, but you don’t care. The wooden spoon you had in your hand clatters to the floor. You lost your grip on it in favour of holding onto the wonderful man above you.

“Hah!” You audibly gasp when the kiss broke. You suck in the air you’ve been deprived of for several minutes.

Jiraiya is panting too. His cheeks are pink. Kissing you was the most unreal feeling. He swallows the extra saliva in his mouth before going back down. His wet warm even a bit swollen lips are covering your neck in kisses. It tickles your sensitive skin. You run your nails against his scalp and moan to encourage him to keep going. The collar of your shirt is pulled down so he can get at the skin there. His lips peck while his teeth lightly scrape against your collarbone. It didn’t have enough give to get more. So he grabbed the bottom hem and pulled your shirt up to your neck. You moan as his lips continue down your skin. He kisses over your breasts, paying attention to the ever so slightly sore hickies he put on them. There was plenty on you now. Jiraiya enjoyed giving them out onto all of the free real estate your body had. Your neck, breasts, and thighs were covered in his love marks. He’s been quite insatiable since the day he confessed. It was hard to be alone with him since all he wanted was to have sex. Not that you are against it or anything! It’s been quite fun to indulge him as well as yourself. It’s so enjoyable just touching him. It never felt so good. You missed him just as much as he missed you. You’ve had passionate sex on almost every surface in your apartment.

“I don’t think the countertop has had the pleasure!” Jiraiya said before licking his lips.

“Let’s just hope they don’t ever bring a black light in here!” You joke.

He laughs along with you. The whole place will light up like a rave! It’s one of his more prouder achievements. He pushed your skirt up. His fingers play with your panties. You moan as he pulls on them. He smirks at how wet the fabric is. He moves back down to kiss your eager lips. His fingers play with your clit. Two of his fingers push inside of you.

“Ah!...” The kiss broke just enough for you to cry out.

Jiraiya hums a similar note. It’s lovely hearing how excited you are. Every encounter with you has been nothing but bliss. You are seizing every opportunity with him to make up for lost time. It’s just about time to make up for more lost time isn’t it? His fingers retract to grab the crotch of your panties. He began to pull them off. You groan and lift your hips. He pulls them to your knees before lifting your legs up to squish against your chest. You smile and place your hands against the back of his neck with your fingers interlocked for a good grip. He smirks and releases one of your legs to deal with his pants. He hooks his fingers around the band and began to pull them down.

“Auntie! Pervy Sage! I’m home!” The loud entrance of your nephew rudely interrupted.

“Son of a bitch!” Jiraiya immediately cursed.

To say he was frustrated was an understatement. The little jerk has been cock blocking Jiraiya at almost every bend. It was such a blessing when Naruto left for missions since Jiraiya could actually spend quality time with you. Much to his disappointment, you stand up and make yourself presentable again. Your partner is ticked off. He’s about ready to bite Naruto’s head off. You offer a reassuring smile and pat his head.

“We can keep going tonight.” You promise.

He huffed. “Isn’t it about time Naruto got his own apartment?”

“Are you suggesting I kick him out?” You snicker. Jiraiya was funny when he gets shut down like this. It’s like a pouting two year old. You poke his cheek and coo at him like he is a huffy toddler. “Just because you can’t have sex whenever you want?” You stick your bottom lip out like he is and give him a mockery of big puppy eyes of sympathy.

He crossed his arms and pouted harder. His cheeks are pink. His lips are curled into a tight little frown. “I’m just saying that we deserve to have some privacy.” He said. He looked over at you with raised brows. “Unless you like having sex every night covering your mouth?”

Jiraiya did have a point. It was hard to stay quiet at night. Naruto slept in the room next to yours. It was the only other room in the apartment so there wasn’t much choice. It was certainly hard to have a night of ravenous love making when you are terrified of traumatizing your dear nephew with the sounds of you getting it good. Jiraiya was of the opposite opinion. He wanted you to be loud. Maybe if you scream his name in pleasure and the constant sound of the headboard hitting the wall resounds around the apartment enough it’ll motivate the little blue baller to move out. He does love Naruto. But god damn it! The kid interjects just as it gets good! It’s like the kid had a special talent for knowing when his caretakers are getting it on. Also the little gremlin is competing with him for your attention. Which is totally not cool!

“My girlfriend.” Jiraiya reminded.

“My auntie!” Naruto wouldn’t back down.

“You’ve had her for sixteen years!”

“Yeah well you took her away from me for two of those years!”

The argument always went in circles. Until it got to the point where they either barter and split shifts to be with you, or getting so annoyed at each other they don’t speak for a few hours. They both love you. They both want to spend plenty of time with you.

Naruto finally rounded the corner to the kitchen. His smile drops as he meets the glare of Jiraiya evenly. The old perv shouldn’t spend so much time alone with you. He’ll corrupt you into a perv too. You are blushing again and biting your lower lip as you stand next to him. He’s already doing something to you.

“Auntie!” Naruto chirped happily. He smiled widely at you and bounded over. He squished your into a hug, which you returned. You kiss the side of his head and pet his head. Two things he’s loved since he was little. He glances up to receive the death glare from Jiraiya. To which he smiles in feign innocence.

“Welcome home!” You greet lovingly. Sometimes it’s still hard to believe he’s grown so much. His head hits yours now and he can nuzzle his face against your shoulder. He’s so much more calmer and mature. “How was your mission?”

“It was... hard.” He was honest. He looked down sadly as he recalled the events fresh in his mind. “I almost lost a friend. I made a new one though!”

That sounds like him. Your Naruto has always managed to make some friends on his missions. You give him a comforting kiss to the forehead before backing away back to the side of your boyfriend, who was still frowning. You know they have a bit of a rivalry when it comes to you. It’s hard being caught in the middle. For one, you missed Naruto so much. You missed some of the milestones that comes with becoming a man. You haven’t seen him in two years! You just want to spend some time talking to your nephew and catch up on all of the adventures he had with Jiraiya.

Then on the other hand, you missed Jiraiya too. You missed him a lot. For two years you felt like you were mourning the loss of a loved one. You missed the intimacy and that feeling of being loved. Your heart ached no matter what you did. Now you had that with the one true love of your life. Every moment felt special. There was lost time to make up with both men. So you try to mediate as much as you can.

“Let’s all go out and grab some grub.” You suggest. You had ruined what you were going to make anyways. You smile at Naruto. “I’m sure there’s plenty you have to tell us about your mission.”

“Sounds good! Let’s get noodles! Can we?” He asked excitedly.

“We always get noodles.” Jiraiya muttered bitterly under his breath.

You elbow him and continue to dote on Naruto. He’s almost too old for you to be so affectionate. You must take advantage of it before he gets sick of it. “Let’s go get some noodles! Ramen noodles, I’m assuming?”

“You know it, auntie! Nothing compares to the ramen that’s here!” Naruto was ecstatic to go.

You motion for him to lead the way. He practically skips away. You drag Jiraiya along. He’s still a little grumpy. But he’ll have a good time once he gets over himself. You pull him down to your level and whisper him a perverted promise. It drags his lips out of a frown and into a smile.

“You better keep that promise.” He whispered to you before pecking your lips.

“I will.” You laugh. You hold his hand and squeeze it. “It’s not like you’ll let me forget!”

Jiraiya laughs and pulls you closer. He glances up to Naruto before giving you a big wet kiss. He smiles as he sees the little punk stick his tongue out in retaliation. He goes in for a few more sloppy kisses to really rub it in. You gently push him away with red cheeks and your eyes averting to the people in the streets.

“Stop it, you goof! People are staring!” You complain.

“Let em stare.” Jiraiya said with a shrug. He kissed you again before continuing. “Who cares what they do.”

“I do...”

It’s strange. You are so used to everyone being cold. Indifferent at best. They don’t like the woman who raised the monster they fear. Then again, Naruto isn’t so feared anymore. People have began to accept him. So many people tell you how they were wrong about him. Some of them still are cold and indifferent, but others have warmed up in a different way. It was like they were afraid of you. Or at the least very weary.

They nod their heads in acknowledgment when you pass by. They move out of your way in lines. They let you take the last thing on the shelf. Normally you get pushed around or batted away. You gawked for several seconds when someone referred to you as ‘Lady’. They gave you a title for seemingly no reason.

Then it kinda dawned on you. You are dating one of the more important people in the village. Jiraiya has status and sway in the village. He’s renowned. He’s celebrated. He may or may not glare anyone down how dares try to say anything to you. He has for years. But only now does it hold an effect on the denizens of Konoha. Because you’re his girl and people have noticed.

You are also Jiraiya’s first real serious partner. Which was something he very shyly admitted to you. He said he was ashamed, but he never connected with someone as deeply as he had with you. He’s had flings and played around in his younger years, but never has he ever referred to a woman as his girlfriend. The nosy people of Konoha were actually shocked. The self proclaimed Hermit Toad Sage was settling down? What the fuck? They’ve never seen Jiraiya actually have a woman with him longer than a week. Over two months later and you are still with him. You loudly exchange ‘I love you’s with him and he often picks you up to carry you around. You’ll tackle him into hugs and he likes to spin you around sometimes when you do. He blushes when he talks about you. He’s never seen without you by his side. People will often find him sitting with you sharing a meal or simply enjoying each other’s company. Despite being a bachelor for so long, he was actually pretty good at this dating thing! That includes showing you off to all the naysayers! You are a damn prize. No one knows what to make of it. For a while they didn’t believe it. They whispered things. They assumed things. They called you things. A young woman constantly in the arms of her much older “boyfriend”? Cha! Right!

“She’s after his money.” They’d whisper.

“He probably paid her.” Others agreed with the cynicism. “Why else would she spent her time with a man like that?”

Comments like that rattled you. It felt like no one genuinely liked you. And you began to tarnish Jiraiya’s reputation by association again. He assured you that they don’t matter. He doesn’t give a crap what they say about him. They can call him names and throw accusations! He doesn’t care. But he cares what they say about you. You deserved to be respected. You’ve taken enough crap from these people and he doesn’t mind flaunting his power a little to make them understand you don’t deserve to be treated poorly. He won’t let you be treated poorly anymore. No one disrespects his girl. He’s defended you in the past and he’ll continue to do so until the day he dies.

“I’d rather earn their respect.” You say quietly.

Jiraiya casted a glance to Naruto. Who returned it with a subtle nod. If there is one thing they can agree about when it comes to you, is that you deserve to be treated well. You’ve more than earned their respect, they just don’t want to admit it. It wasn’t everyone of course, just the majority of strangers who’ve judged you from day one.

Jiraiya sees it as you have been given enough flack for no reason. You literally raised a child when you were still one yourself. You didn’t let Naruto face the ostracized isolation alone. You shouldered most of that burden. You buried all your grief and didn’t fall apart to raise a baby right after your only family you had perished in the most tragic event in the village. You had every right to turn your back and abandon Naruto like everyone else had, but you didn’t. In his eyes, you were more mature and intelligent than everyone in this damn place. You deserve respect for all the sacrifices you’ve made.

Naruto was of a similar opinion. You raised him god damn it! You are the only mother he knows. And he’s so grateful to have you in his life. Both you and Jiraiya feel like his parents. He wants you to be happy. He despised that people hated you because of the choice you made. You took it all like a champ. You never cried in front of him or told him it was because of him. But you always cried in front of Jiraiya, trusting the only him to comfort you. To which he always did. Even as a little kid, Naruto noticed that the big friendly man with the long white hair that always visited was very important to you. He always made you smile when the world beat you down. Both him and Naruto always do.

You are also Naruto’s biggest motivation why he wants to be a leader. So that people will respect him as a great ninja, and respect you as one of the pillars that boosted him into the leader he will become. You and Jiraiya. The two adults that shaped him together. The two people he’s proud to call family.

It really isn’t that bad, is it?

Naruto sat down beside you in his absolute favourite place in the world. The comfortable seats of Ichiraku haven’t changed. He didn’t wrestle his way between you and Jiraiya like he did before. You are seated comfortably between your two favourite people. One has a hand on your thigh while the other shifts happily in his seat looking at the menu. He may have been a little petty. It was right after he discovered you in bed with the old perv and he decided he was still annoyed. The animosity grew between him and Jiraiya as the man glared at him for interrupting any sort of intimacy. You smiled awkwardly the whole time as the boys fought for your attention. It ended with Naruto holding you hostage for hours with his many stories about his travels. Only for Jiraiya to retaliate on a big note with him scooping you up and bringing you back into the bedroom and kicking the door closed loudly. All with a cast over his shoulder to smirk victoriously at Naruto before the door closed.

For a month Naruto wasn’t so convinced that Jiraiya was genuine. All you and him seem to do is bang. Surely you are just being used or something. Then he wouldn’t leave. Jiraiya spent every waking moment with you... Well when there isn’t a meddling teenager about. Naruto has been exposed to a lot of inappropriate things that made him realize how much grand old Pervy Sage loves you.

It was all the kinda mushy and gross things that couples do. Your giggles always fill the house. Along with flirty whispers and pleas for your lover to stop teasing you. Naruto walked in on Jiraiya playing with your hair, his fingers brushing it all aside before moving in to kiss you. He’d hold a lock in his hand and press it against his lips, complimenting on how pretty it is. His body pressed against your back with his hand on your hip to guide it to sway with his. It’s always while you are trying to do something. You’d giggle and try to ignore him. But it would only encourage him to be more needy. He’d beg for some attention.

“I’ll stop if you just give me a kiss~!” He’d purr. His lips against your ear as he rolled his hips forward.

“I’m trying to make supper!” You’d whine.

“Then kiss me so you can get back at it! I’ll even help!”

It’d go back and forth. Naruto would watch with a growing distaste as his adoptive parents flirt. But it convinced him! You are certainly in love and Jiraiya wasn’t such a pervert scumbag after all. His opinion was made for the best when Jiraiya actually asked his permission to marry you.

“What? Don’t look at me like that!” Jiraiya complained. “You’re technically the man of the house. I wanted to run it past you.” He poked Naruto on the forehead and smirked. “But I’d ask her either way, kid!”

You got no clue, do you? Naruto may have interrupted some possible opportunities of spontaneous proposals just to annoy Jiraiya. The mood was just right and the atmosphere was on point. Your attention would be undivided on your partner. Just as he whispered that he wanted to ask you something important, Naruto would seemingly burst from no where. When in fact, he’s been hiding for just the right moment to spoil it. The harsh glares didn’t deter him. It wouldn’t be fun if he just let something like that happen! It’s gotta have a little bit of challenge to it.

Jiraiya squeezes your thigh and kisses your cheek. He slides you enough money to cover the bill before standing up. He’s done thinking about it. There’s one thing he has to do before asking you to marry him.

“I gotta go.” He announced.

“Where to?” You ask. You’re a bit sad. You don’t like being parted from him, not even for an hour.

He shrugs. “Nothing important. I just gotta talk to Tsunade about something.”

“Okay.”

Aw. Jiraiya smiles as you look so sad. It makes him feel all giddy that you miss him already. It’s that feeling of being loved unconditionally. He’s never felt that before until you! He’ll miss you too! He held your face as he consoled you with kisses.

“I’ll be back soon, I promise.” He spoke softly against your lips. He sealed the promise with another kiss.

You return the affectionate gestures by stroking the bangs beside his face while kissing him back. Being this in love hurt a little. You don’t want Jiraiya to go. He’s spent long enough away from you. But you don’t wanna be possessive or anything. You just wanna hold him and always be near him. It just sucks to watch him leave.

“I love you.” You bid him farewell with these words.

“I love you too!” Jiraiya said with a bright smile. He didn’t want to go. But this is something he just has to discuss with his friend. “I’ll be quick! Very quick! You won’t even notice.”

“Oh, I’ll notice. Who else will hold me and make me-!”

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Naruto loudly interrupted and pointed to himself. “I’m right here, you pervs!”

You share a bemused smile with Jiraiya. You apologized quietly to your nephew before returning to drag out the goodbye to your beloved. Jiraiya stalled too. He kissed you over and over, never wanting to break it off. He got distracted with it for several moments too long. His fingers drag along yours as he backs away. Until they finally broke away from one another as he became out of reach. It wasn’t so bad this time. Because you know he’ll come back.

Okay.

Okay it’s cool.

This is the last hurdle Jiraiya agreed with himself that he had to face. It was obvious now that Tsunade was catching some feelings. The way she looked at him when he thought he wasn’t paying attention... How she smiled at him. She was close to confessing it the last time they tied one on. But they always danced around the subject out of fear. It was just weird that he was tuned into this now. Maybe being in love matured him a little.

Not that it mattered now. She was about twenty years too late. Back then he loved her too. He did for a long time. So much it hurt. But he tried not to dwell and move on. He did when he met you. For some reason, it was making him a tad nervous. Tsunade is... stubborn sometimes. And Jiraiya badly wants to remain close to her. She’s the only one left of his childhood friend group. She knows him best. He felt like he should tell her before the gossip hits the streets. If just provide closure. It’s the least he can do to keep this under some kind of control. People were being wild enough by calling you names to your face and him worse names behind his back. She’s probably already heard the worst of it. To be fair, he hasn’t really spoken to her since he got together with you. Which was only making this worse. 

Jiraiya strolled right up to the Hokage’s office and entered. Tsunade’s face lit up as he entered. She was bored out of her skull slacking on paperwork. She always had time to slack off with Jiraiya around. But she could read the tension in his face.

“Is something wrong?” She asked right away.

“Yeah. I guess you could say that.” He answered with vagueness.

She was confused. Jiraiya wasn’t normally so serious around her unless they were in a fight. He was tense. His brows were furrowed and his lips pulled into a straight line. His body language straight and tense.

“What’s up?” Tsunade urged him to elaborate. She doesn’t like this tension he created.

Alright... here it goes. Jiraiya smiles and relaxes his shoulders. This is good news after all, he’s just worried about the reaction.

“I’m going to be engaged.” He announced. “I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me.”

“Oh.” She said. Her expression dropped. She’s heard that he got a girlfriend. And that it was you. The young feisty Uzumaki who raised the even feistier other Uzumaki. She’s heard a lot of things. None of them really sounded true to her. But if Jiraiya wants to marry you, then it must be more serious than anyone ever thought.

“I know how you feel about me, Tsunade. I just figured you deserved to hear it from me rather than a stranger.”

She shook her head as she processed this information. She’s not embarrassed, it’s been rather obvious how she felt. It’s just hard to form the words and say it. “I uh... I..” Tsunade sighed and looked up at him. “Are you sure this is what you want? I don’t mean to sound harsh, but how do you expect to be in a marriage when you’ll be gone half the time?”

“That’s something I also wanted to talk to you about.” Jiraiya paused to pull something out of his shirt. It was a letter, sealed in an envelope. He held it out for her to take. “I’m resigning.”

Shock hit her like a title wave. Did he really just say that? She asked him to repeat himself. She watched his lips and glanced up to his eyes as he said it again. He’s not joking around as his voice was steady and his gaze serious.

“I’m resigning. I quit. This is my letter of resignation.” Jiraiya repeated himself and clarified his point by gesturing with the letter in hand.

Tsunade slowly took the letter, still in utter disbelief. She opened it and read the words carefully. Yeah... Jiraiya was quitting. He didn’t want to be a shinobi anymore. He’s made it to retirement age and he’s acting upon it.

This is the only way. Jiraiya has thought about it for a long time. When you fell asleep against his chest at night, all he wanted was that. To be with you. To spend every day and night with you. That peace and serenity of a relaxing life with the woman he loves. He promised you he wouldn’t leave you again. He can’t keep that promise if he’s in active duty. He wants to prolong his life for as long as possible to spend it with you.

He’s finally settling down. He found someone who loves him. He wants to spend the rest of his life in peace with his beloved. While he feels he’s failed at a lot in his life, he just wants this one right thing to last for as long as possible. He wants the whole package. He’s already bought the perfect house on the older side of Konoha. It had plenty of trees to discourage prying eyes. A big yard. A big kitchen that you and him can fit in without being squished like in the itty bitty apartment. And plenty of rooms to expand his family. With a room for Naruto to... visit. He’s gonna surprise you with it on the wedding day. Heh... wedding day. The idea of marrying you makes him smile and butterflies flutter around his stomach with how giddy he gets.

“I... How do you know she’s the one? Is it worth giving up your career?” Tsunade finally asked.

Jiraiya frowned. He didn’t like how she said that. It’s like she doesn’t believe him. Or is it you she doesn’t believe in?

“Yes. She’s worth everything to me.” He confirmed with a nod.

At this point, Tsunade isn’t sure what to believe. She never thought this would happen. Is that horrible to say? It feels horrible to say. To think that Jiraiya would never find love. It was a bit odd to see him in love. He was acting like he was young and naive again, but had the gift of age and experience to make an educated decision. This is really what he wants, isn’t it?

Why did she begin to feel something more for him just as he got over her? It felt like a cruel joke from fate. It seems it’s not meant to be. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy to get over. You must be very special if Jiraiya is retiring just to spend his life with you uninterrupted. He’s completely rearranging his life for you and that’s no small feat.

She lets out a breath. Why can’t she seem to get the timing right? Oh well. All that matters is that Jiraiya is happy. She can let go and move forward. But... she probably won’t be able to see the ceremony. She might even leave for the day, not wanting to spoil anything with her downer mood. How did Jiraiya manage to do it? He smiled and laughed the day she got married. He patted Dan on the back and said something inappropriate about the wedding night. No one was the wiser to the pain he felt that day. Until she found him with one of the bottles of wine he stole from the reception and drinking it in a dark corner on the verge of tears. Even then, he forced a smile and never told her directly what made him so upset. He simply congratulated her and told her how beautiful she looked...

Tsunade can do the same. This is good. Her friend is getting something he’s always wanted. And that’s always something to be happy about. Even if it isn’t with her.

“I’m happy for you.” She finally said. She motioned to the letter. “I’ll get this filed right away. You are no longer a ninja of The Hidden Leaf.”

It was odd to hear it said out loud. But a sense of relief and even pride filled Jiraiya. It’s like a large weight was removed from his shoulders. This is exactly what he wants. He knows he’s doing the right thing. For you and him. With you he’ll live the rest of his life. No more fighting. No more causing pain. He will always have the bigger picture in mind, but he’s passed on the fight to his student. Now he can relax. A peaceful existence in his perfect house with his perfect wife and beautiful family. He’s excited to get started. Just kinda sucks it took him so long to find what he wanted out of life.

“Thanks!” He beamed a big grin. He began to leave. This went better than expected! Perhaps he expected the worst for no reason. He paused at the door to turn around and get in one last thing. “You’re invited, by the way.” His smile dropped a little into one of sad understanding. He won’t blame her if she doesn’t show up. Still so... “I want my whole family there. Okay?”

Tsunade finally smirked, regaining some of her sarcasm. She scoffed jokingly. “I mean I’ll try my best. But I am the Hokage after all. I can’t go witness every random civilian wedding whenever I please.”

“Oh please! What do you do in here all day? Drink and gamble over the radio?” Jiraiya matched her sarcasm with a fake condescending laugh.

“I almost won last time!”

“You say that every time!”

It was nice to return to the usual banter. But it’s not as enthusiastic as is normally is. There’s just something sad lingering in the room. It grows silent where there’s usually more snide comments and jokes. With time. It’ll go back to normal. At least there’s still something there. A friendship that’s lasted for fifty years. It’s damaged, but it won’t break over this. In a way, he will always love her. But not in the same way he loves you. She helped him realize what he wants, but she wasn’t what he wants. For so long he confused that. You are what he wants.

Jiraiya bid a quiet goodbye a before leaving. Tsunade returned it with a small wave. He shut the door. He took in a deep breath. It got him a little choked up. It felt like a goodbye and he doesn’t like goodbyes. He broke away from the door into a jog. He didn’t want to linger on the sad. It’s all about the good right now. And talking about marrying you got him too damn excited. He picked up the pace. He made leaps and bounds back to the ramen stand. He can’t wait any longer!

You peak your head out when you heard Jiraiya shout your name. He’s running at full speed towards you. He jumped over people’s heads with impressive air time before landing in stride to keep his pace. It was like he had a pack of demons on his tail or something. You walk out into the street to meet him, thinking something is wrong. You don’t want him to involve Naruto if there was no need to.

Oh... Oh? He looks rather happy actually.

Oh he’s not stopping.

Incoming!!

You could barely get your hands out in front of you in reaction before Jiraiya collided with you. It was too much momentum and he was too excited to keep his grace about him. You hit the ground with a cloud of dust surrounding your body. Jiraiya has his lips on yours as he’s over top of you. It hurt a little from the hard ungraceful execution, but he’s back! It’s only been like a half hour but it felt longer. Your hands move to hold his face as he has your lips against his. The kiss broke with a loud smack. He pulled back with a big wide smile and eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Marry me!” He exclaimed. The excitement and joy is radiating off of him. He feels young again. He has the moment you tackled him and told him you loved him. He leaned down and kissed you before you could answer. “Please marry me?” Jiraiya tried again. He pressed his forehead against yours and searched your eyes. “Be mine forever? I love you so much.”

The shock wore off from the impact. Then his words hit you. But you don’t even got to think about it. You wrap your arms around the back of his neck and lift your head to kiss him. He puts his arms around your back holds you tightly against him.

“Yes!” You managed to say between kisses. His kisses moved to cover your face. They grew faster and with more enthusiasm when you spoke. “Yes, I’ll marry you!” You grip a handful of hair and guide him to kiss your lips again.

The shakes set in as you are so excited. Marrying the one person you’ve always wanted? The man you love is going to marry you?! Hell to the yes! Jiraiya pulled back with a sudden hum of realization. He fished around in his pockets before pulling out a small metallic object. He presented the ring to you with a big grin. He’s had it on him for far too long and it’s finally time to put it on you.

“Just so you remember you’re engaged.” He said with a playful wink.

You offer your hand and he slides it on your ring finger. It fits perfectly. It seems he’s got a knack for guessing your ring size just as good as he was guessing your bra size, with acute accuracy. You lay back on the ground with your hand up in front of you to inspect the ring. It is pretty. A silver band with small red and white gems. It reminds you of him. But Jiraiya could have proposed with a ring made out of twine and you would have said yes. He didn’t even need to ask. He could have just taken you to an officiate and you would have just signed your name on the paperwork. But... he wants a big celebration. Well as big as he could get. Even if it’s just the small group of friends that celebrate with him and you. Nothing could be more perfect.

“I love you.” You turn to him and smile. Your hand runs down his arm to his hand. You hold it as he squeezes yours tightly.

“I love you too.” He whispered before kissing you.

Loud obnoxious chewing got your attention. You look up to see Naruto finishing his bowl of ramen. He nods slowly. “So. You finally popped the question, Pervy Sage?” He asked in a barely interested tone, but finished it with a conniving smile.

Little shit.

Jiraiya raises a brow, but smirks. He can play along. He won’t let Naruto bring him down. He knows exactly how to mess with his darling student. He smiled sweetly. “Yup! Now you can’t get rid of me, kiddo. You’re stuck with me banging your auntie for life.”

You gasp in surprise and Naruto makes a face of disgust. You began to giggle as that completely deflated Naruto’s confidence. He couldn’t think up a retort over his fluster. Ew. He didn’t want to think about that more than he had to. He’s seen and heard enough to imagine the worse. But the verbal confirmation just made it weird. He stuck his lip out and retreated backwards a few steps.

People were staring again. The outburst had caused quite a scene. But who really cares? The whole world could disapprove and you wouldn’t give two craps. They began to shuffle and disperse when it became obvious it had come to a close. These clowns are gonna have to get used to this! You nor him are going to go away anytime soon. Jiraiya stood up and offered his hands to help you. You take it and he pulls you to your feet. You kiss him as thanks. He is deliriously happy. The happiest he’s ever been. Much could be said the same about you.

“Does this mean I gotta call you uncle now?” Naruto suddenly asked.

Jiraiya’s response was to laugh so hard he almost passed out. That was a hard pass. Naruto was blushing to his ears and sunk his neck into his shoulders to hide it. A few laughs finds its way out of you. You pat your nephew’s head. Your fiancé holds your hand tightly. Your little trio decided to celebrate the proposal by getting ice cream. Naruto very nicely asked if he could stay at a friend’s house. He gives up. The old perv can have you. He knows there’s going to be some unrestrained adult fun happening in your bedroom tonight and he doesn’t need to hear it again. You agree and politely remind him he doesn’t have to ask anymore. Your fiancé pulls you against him and smiles a little too deviously. He licks some of the melted ice cream off of your cheek before kissing you. A night alone? Fucking finally.

“Well, you do got a promise to fulfill.” Jiraiya reminded you.

“One that’ll last into the morning!” You agree. You drop your voice into a quiet intimate whisper only for his ears. “And onto forever.”

He smirks. That sounds perfect. You cheered your ice cream with his. Then share a kiss. The comfortable feeling of being with Jiraiya was completely solidified. He’s here for the long run. So are you. Soon you’ll be his wife and he your husband. You’ll get to spend every day with him. You get to enjoy every little thing that married couples do. The future never looked so bright!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slams fist on table* Jiraiya deserves to be happy god damn it!  
> Pretty big canon diversion but I figured it fit since he always kinda has his mortality in mind when he’s with reader in this scenario. So, happy wrap up for this one lads? Or shall we divulge into the wedding and some of what happens later? Up to you, my lovely readers! Especially the one who requested this scenario in the first place.


	30. Shy Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a few months since you and Jiraiya have gotten together. He’s shown you many things! He’s introduced you to plenty of people. 
> 
> Then when he has to leave for a mission, it doesn’t go so well for you. 
> 
> But it gets better when he comes back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s only Wednesday but my like compulsive need to post early makes me feel like I’m hella late this week lol. I got smacked with some wacky work shifts and didn’t have time to edit what I wrote until now. I tried last night but I fell asleep.   
> Also woot we made it to 30 chapters! That’s fucking wild!

It’s been a few months since you asked Jiraiya to be your boyfriend. You have made leaps and bounds with him in the bedroom. You’ve seen him naked. Which was nerve wracking. You took a shower with him for the first time and the whole time you were just so stunned. How in the world did a man who looks like that like you so much? Your hands roamed over his chest, sides, back, and hips. He’s soft to the touch. Even his scars don’t feel so bad. They look nice too. All of him is just so nice. He let you explore with a content smile on his face and some words of encouragement.

The sight of what was between his legs scared you. It’s big and like... floppy. You haven’t ever seen a penis before in person before that moment and you were freaking out. Jiraiya did his best to put you at ease. He brought you flush against his body so you stopped staring at his dick like it was going to bite you. He put his hand under your ass to play with you. The moans and cries you made turned him on enough to make you jump when he got hard. You were so freaked out and clueless that Jiraiya wondered how the schooling system failed you so hard. Didn’t you know anything about sex? He had to lovingly explain that it’s doing that because he’s aroused. It was never harsh or demeaning, he was alway so sweet in his words as you stared at him with wide eyes and a blush. You grew the courage to touch him for the first time. Jiraiya deserves to have fun too!

As time passed and you learned more, you asked to do more. Jiraiya always assures you that you don’t have to do anything to him if it weirded you out. But you insisted. So he guided you through it. He held your hand and adjusted your grip. He taught you how to stroke him off with the aid of lotions and lube. Then he would simply sit back with his legs spread to let you work and learn. You’ve done a good enough job to get him to cum. To which you were so curious at the sticky milky fluid all over your fingers. When you asked, he smiled and told you the function of it. You were bright red by the end of the explanation.

It was slow going, for sure. Only last week did you let Jiraiya finally use his mouth. And oh goodness was it phenomenal! His hair tickled your thighs. His hot breath washed over your awaiting pussy. The feeling of his wet tongue running over your clit and licking from one end to the other was so different from his fingers. He sucked on that wonderfully sensitive bundle of nerves on your body until you gripped his hair and cried his name. He’s introduced you to the world of multiple orgasms and he was happy to indulge you. Jiraiya loyally kept his head between your legs until you had your fill. He had a great amount of fun while he was down there. Your thighs squeezed his head in such a lovely way and you were pretty tasty! He could’ve stayed there for hours.

In a similar way, you have given your first blowjob. Dicks aren’t so scary anymore. You knew how they worked now. You could get one to cum with just your hands, so surely you could do it with your mouth. That being said, you were completely red and timid as you were eye level with Jiraiya’s crotch. He chose the couch for this activity. He laid back in the comfortable cushions as he talked you through on what to do. He smiled and played with your hair. He never pressured you to go down, just told you take your time. The sight of a woman between his legs was pleasing enough. Eventually your lips met the very tip of his cock. Then you took on a few inches. But your gag reflex and anxious nerves stalled you from trying anymore. Which he was more than fine with. It still felt damn good.

But hey! You got him to cum that time too. All over your face as you panicked and pulled back just in time to get a facial. You went rigid with shock and embarrassment. Jiraiya apologized profusely and wiped your face off. Not that you minded that much, you just never expected to take it like that so quickly. You sat completely still as he held your chin to keep your head steady and he used a face cloth to clean you of his fluids. He never told you, but he really loved how good you looked like that. And he’s proud of how bold you are getting in the bedroom. It was a rewarding experience to guide someone so pure and naive into how this is properly done. He ended each session with plenty of praises and kisses. You’d smile and thank him for showing you in such a positive way.

Now just came the social aspect. You are still painfully shy. Jiraiya would loudly introduce you his friends. He’s proud to show you off. You’re a beautiful girl! And for some reason you want to date him. Most of his friends and acquaintances didn’t believe he had a girlfriend. They really weren’t sure what to make of you as you when you met them. It didn’t help that you had a habit of using Jiraiya’s much bigger body to hide behind when meeting new people. He literally pulled you up beside him and he presented you with his hands in a wide gesture like you were a prize to be won on a game show and he was the host showing it off. There might as well be fan fair and confetti he does it with such enthusiasm and excitement. All these people have reputations and are highly skilled. And here you are. It’s just intimidating. Bright red from the attention, you’d shyly retreat to use Jiraiya’s bigger frame to hide behind.

“H-Hello.” You would barely manage to say before retreating to hide almost completely behind your boyfriend. You’d hold onto his arm and use it to hide most of your face. With barely a crack showing to look at these people.

They were all so nice to you. You haven’t met one person who disapproved of you being Jiraiya’s girlfriend. They were supportive and tried to keep you included in their conversations. But you were most comfortable sitting beside Jiraiya and letting him handle most of the talking. He was happy to. He was just happy you were willing and trying to challenge your shyness. Not that he ever thought it was a bad quality, but you are missing out a little on life and he wants you to enjoy yourself. Plus he got to have his arm around you all night while you pressed against him. It was nice to show you off a little. You clearly aren’t used to having so many eyes on you, but you are dating a man with quite the high reputation. You have very little to your name aside from great tea maker and the Hokage’s receptionist. People don’t know you. They were naturally curious about this quiet mystery woman that Jiraiya was happily telling anyone who asked that she was indeed his girlfriend.

“Look at her!” He would insist. He’d spin you around until your back was at his chest and he’d wrap his arms around you. You’d always be flushed and awkward as he affectionately introduced you. “She’s great, isn’t she?” He’d finish the introduction with a chipper tone and he’d kiss your cheek. You’d be red to your ears and averting your eyes, but smiling since he was giving you such flirty attention and positive introductions.

It bugged Jiraiya for a while. Why did everyone care so much who he was with? Then he kinda sorta sadly realized he hasn’t had a girlfriend in like ten years. People were abuzz because there was someone out there that had actually caught his eye beyond just peeping. And he chose the most unassuming person ever. They probably didn’t know you even existed. Not that something like that was new to you. You have implied to him that you grew up a little lonely because you found it so hard to make friends. You still are a little lonely. A damn shame. Because you’re a great person. He understood that plight. He didn’t have a lot of friends when he was young either. He grew up a little lonely too. Although, now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t have a big amount of friends as an adult either. He’s a little antisocial and quiet most days, preferring the company of one or two people over a crowd any day. Hm. Maybe he’s more like you than he thought.

Unfortunately, he had to leave. You saw him off for his mission at the gate of the village. Jiraiya sighed. This would be the first mission that took him away from you. He really doesn’t want to leave. He held you close and kissed you. You held onto him and loved all the attentive kisses he was giving you. You don’t want him to leave either.

“I’ll miss you.” He said.

“I’ll miss you too.” You returned. You smile and caress his cheek. He leaned his face into it and smiled at you too. “Be safe, okay?”

“I will. I promise.”

You shift on your feet. There’s something you do want to tell him, but you aren’t sure how. You avert your eyes shyly. “I like you a lot.”

“I like you a lot too.” He said right back. He gently supported your chin with his fingertips and gave you another kiss. He’s got an inkling on what you mean, but doesn’t want to spoil the goodbye by saying it.

Jiraiya’s hands dragged on yours for as long as possible he walked away. His fingers drag along yours slowly as he lingered. They finally broke free from each other and he turned around to face the road ahead. You stayed where you were under the gate. He kept turning to look over his shoulder to smile and wave. You did the same for him, smiling and waving each time he checked if you were still there. Once he was too small to see in the horizon, you finally went back inside the village. He’ll be gone for over a month.... maybe longer.

And that’s when it all went a little downhill. Or a lot downhill. Less of a soft trip and more like careening off of a cliff. You’re alone now. Some people took advantage of that. It was clear why. They didn’t want to antagonize you when you had Jiraiya with you. He would defend you where you normally stay quiet. He wouldn’t let these people get a word in before going off on them. He likes you. He’s protective of you. Jiraiya didn’t often start fights, he’s not the type to do so without good cause, but anyone who even implied something about you got a hard glare and a raised brow. He’d stand up and cross his arms to stare your offender down. But now you didn’t have that. You don’t got his hand to hold and his confidence to boost you. Or his intimidating stature and frown to ward off people.

What you didn’t expect was for people to make fun of you. It got out as a rumour that you are still a virgin. You aren’t sure how. Perhaps you or Jiraiya mentioned it in passing while talking to some of his friends? Who were still pleasant to you, but you aren’t close with them and didn’t want to bother them with your problems. It gave some of Jiraiya’s enemies or just the people who don’t like him some ammunition. Female ninjas never really confronted you, but they would look at you and giggle. It was a blow to your confidence. Male ninja his age began to hit on you. Being in the Hokage’s estate all day meant you met practically the entire military body of Konoha. They were always respectful and courteous to you. Not anymore.

At first it was passing comments. All of them directed towards cuckolding Jiraiya by insulting his performance and looks. Some were even a little misogynistic, saying that you couldn’t be happy or fulfilled unless you had a ‘real man’ fuck you. You would defend him. That’s your boyfriend they’re talking about! He doesn’t need to be bashed by these people!

Then you gained quite the admirer in one certain man who was a little older than Jiraiya. He had none of the charm though. He was a bit of a scraggly dog. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. Your chronic politeness and shyness kept you from firmly telling the man off. He tended to show up near the end of your shift, making you feel anxious at the end of your day when it usually made you happy. You are terrified he’ll follow you home. You literally ran to Jiraiya’s apartment every night. He gave you a key in case you needed it. You hid away in his bed clutching onto one of his shirts for comfort. You missed him dearly. You hope he’s safe. Do you think he’s thinking about you too? Sigh. This month better go by quickly.

But it didn’t. You endured a month and a half of harassment. The Hokage, Hiruzen as he nicely insisted you call him, has been your only real support throughout this whole thing. He let you sit in his office with him when you got overwhelmed. He’s given out several verbal warnings to his subordinates to not harass his staff. You’ve split a pot of tea with him and he managed to coax you to speak of your issues.

“Then it should please you to know that I’ve received word that Jiraiya is almost home. He’s sent me a message this morning.” Hiruzen said with a smile. “He should be here this afternoon to report back from his mission.”

“Good... I miss him.” You say quietly.

Much to your surprise, the kind old man put his hand on top of yours. He normally keeps his distance. He smiled warmly at you.

“I know things are hard right now. But I promise you that it will get easier.” Hiruzen comforted you. “Jiraiya is very fond of you. He speaks of you every chance he gets.”

You shyly look up. “Really?”

“Oh yes. He’s practically talked my ear off about the beautiful receptionist I hired.” He laughed quietly. It’s very clear he’s amused at his student’s antics. “I was almost completely fed up with it after a month. I finally told him he should ask you out if he was so fond of you. That silly boy didn’t even realize he had a crush until I pointed it out.”

It does make you smile. It’s nice to know that Jiraiya liked you that much that he practically annoyed Hiruzen to death just by talking about you. So he came around to the estate just to talk to you? Who would have thought Jiraiya was too shy and clueless to ask you out for so long.

“I’m happy he did. This is the happiest I’ve seen Jiraiya in years.” Hiruzen continued.

Oh...

You don’t know much of Jiraiya’s past. He never speaks of it. But was he not happy before this? He always seemed like he was. He was always smiling. At least when you were around. Then again, they say those who smile the brightest are hiding the most pain. Do you really take away that pain?

Hopefully you do. You’re happy when you are with Jiraiya. He’s so sweet. Kind and loving. A little perverted, but it was kinda charming. He’s helped you find your sexual desires. He’s been so patient with you. As well as kind and thoughtful.

Hm... maybe you are ready. Every activity he’s shown you has felt amazing. If the actual sex is as good as all the other things, then it should be a good time. It’s not so scary anymore. The idea of actually having it doesn’t spook you. So long as it’s with him.

“Thank you.” You say. You grab the tea set and head for the door. “For the tea. I’ll be back with more, if you want.”

“No thank you dear. Finish your shift at peace at your desk.” Hiruzen dismisses you. “I wouldn’t want Jiraiya to miss you more than he has to.”

You exchange another smile with the sagely old man before moving on. You sit down at your desk feeling better. You go about your organizing and looking at the clock. It won’t be long now. You look at the door whenever it opens. You beam a wide smile hoping it’s your boyfriend. But it falls when you realize who it was. Scraggly man. The man who won’t leave you alone. He smirks when he misreads your smile.

“Ay! I’d knew you’d come around eventually, baby!” He said. He strutted up to you. Thank goodness there is a desk in between you and him.

“Oh uh... sorry. I thought you were someone else.” You clarify in a small voice.

“Oh please, honey. You don’t gotta lie to me.” Scraggly man chuckled. He leaned forward with his hands on your desk. “I know you’re probably just dating that weirdo for his money. Is that why you won’t have sex with him? He ain’t even that cute. Probably a freak in the sheets too.”

“That’s not true!”

He scoffed. He jumped over your desk. He cornered you. His height and build completely blocks you in. “Come on, baby. That weakling won’t even take you.” He put his hands on your hips. “Is it true you really are a virgin? I plan to find out one way or another.”

Your skin crawls at the feeling of his hands on you. You put your hands on his wrists pull them away. “Please don’t touch me.”

The scraggly man ignored your plea. He’s trying to kiss you. You don’t want him to. You really don’t want him to! You back up in an attempt to get away. But he’s not giving up. You keep your head back, turning it away. Your back hits the wall. He smirks as you are completely blocked in and at his mercy. You push on his shoulders in an attempt to keep him away. Your face is turned to the side and you have your lips curled in. Your eyes are clenched shut. You feel his lips on your cheek and teeth scrape against your skin. His fingers grab your chin.

“Come on, beautiful! You can at least give me a kiss!” The flirt in his voice began to sound frustrated. Pain bloomed in your jaw and chin as he pinched it hard as he forced you to turn your face. “Did that perv even teach you how to do that? Do I gotta teach you? I’ll teach you everything if you want!”

“N-No! Let me go!” You raise your voice. The last word you spoke broke with your voice. The pressure of tears began to form behind your eyes. You’re going to cry.

Just as he wrenched your head forward, the weight of his body disappears. You almost fall over your legs are very jelly like and unstable. You look up to see your boyfriend is finally home. And he’s very pissed off. You’ve never seen Jiraiya angry before. He’s facing away from you, so you can’t see his face. But it looks like every hair is standing on end. His steps are heavy and strong. He’s carrying himself with less grace and style as he’s too emotional to stay rational. He’s dragging your antagonizer by the scruff of the neck like a mangey dog who snuck in the house and pissed on the carpet and has to be put outside. He tossed the scraggly man forward and kicked him square in the back. Scraggly man stumbled and fell face first into the dirt path.

“If you ever come near her again,” Jiraiya raised his voice and paused. The man before him was hanging on every word. He feels angry and ashamed that this person is somehow one of his comrades. “I’ll cut your balls off and feed them to the hawks! Got it?”

The man nodded vigorously before scrambling away. Jiraiya had half the urge to chase. He’s mad and annoyed. How dare someone touch you! He’s got good reason to get that bastard dismissed from duty. He sneers before turning around to check on you. You’re a mess of tears against the wall. You’re disheveled and shaking.

You burst into a new wave of tears and run to him. Jiraiya caught you in his arms and hugged you tightly. You can feel and hear his hammering heartbeat. His chest is moving with heavy breathing. He’s really worked up over this.

“I-I’m okay!” You insist. You don’t like seeing him so stressed.

“No you aren’t.” He spoke in a low tone of voice. It was quiet and even. A tone you’ve learned he uses when he’s upset.

You sigh quietly. You missed him. You missed his warmth. His comforting presence. You already feel better with him here. The sense that your are protected was back. No more bad things will happen with Jiraiya here. He won’t let it. He’s desperately wanting to stomp upstairs and scream at Hiruzen for letting someone like that in here. He never wants to leave for another mission again. Which is foolish, he knows that. But he can’t stand the idea of someone treating you so poorly because he’s not there to protect you.

“I missed you.” You whispered.

“I missed you too.” He replied.

“Can we go home?”

“Of course.”

Jiraiya grabbed your hand and led you out of the building. You keep wiping your eyes and hiding your face under your free hand. You shuffle close to him to protect yourself from any eyes. He’s practically feral at this point. He’s already pissed that someone tried to assault you. He won’t stand to let anyone else harass you. He walked along with a tight grip on your hand and an unapproachable frown on his face. If anyone even glanced your way, they got a withering stare that would freeze over hell with it’s icy intensity.

“How was your mission?” You ask. You are looking for a distraction. For his sake and yours.

“Fine.” He paused to chuckle. “It felt like it took forever... I thought about you everyday.”

“Really? I did too.” You nuzzle your face against his arm. “I spent everyday wishing you were back home.” You paused and gasp. “Don’t you have to report back? Lord Hokage is expecting you.”

Jiraiya shook his head. You squeak when he picks you up. You can feel the heat warm your face as he has you bridal style. “My girl needs some quality time with me. The old man can wait a day or so.” He explained with a wink.

Always the rebel, isn’t he? Ignoring authority to spend time with his girlfriend? Yeah, it was a way better use of his time. Jiraiya has been days late reporting back before. He chose to collapse in his bed and sleep rather than blab about the play by play of his mission route. It’s not a big deal, no matter how many people complain he’s being an idiot for goofing off rather than finishing his job. But he’s more motivated to ignore the protocol since he literally walked in on some scruffy jackass threatening to do something terrible to his girl. You need to be shown that he’ll be there for you.

“Was that the first time someone tried something like that?” Jiraiya asked.

“O-Oh... well...” You trail off. You feel some sort of shame. Like it’s your fault. You know it’s not, but still. “Not really. Some people have been making fun of me. People have been making fun of you. They think you’re weak... because I’m uh.. I’ve never had sex.” You admit shyly.

Jiraiya let out a slow annoyed sigh. Why does he work with adult children? What is this? Are his supposed comrades a bunch of gossiping teenagers? Don’t they got better shit to do than take the piss out of him and mock his girlfriend? How annoying! Especially since the cowards didn’t have the brass to mock him to his face. They had to wait until he left and they went for you. You, his polite small voiced girlfriend who doesn’t have a mean thing to say to anyone. Sometimes you are too nice for your own good. You don’t even get angry. Jiraiya is half sure you’ve never felt that emotion. You are too empathetic and kind to ever get mad at anything. It’s honestly very sweet. It’s like he’s dating a peaceful forest creature. Such endless kindness and loving nature must be protected.

You are plunked down onto his bed. Jiraiya plunked down beside you. He sighed with relief as he’s finally off his feet. He stretched out from fingers to toes. You relax when he does. He curled up beside you. His hand reached out and grabbed your waist. He pulled you close against him and he buried his face against your neck. He breathes in deeply. He missed how good you smell. He missed how warm you feel and the beat of your heart. He missed waking up to your shy smile and pink cheeks. It’s nice to have it all back again. You feel his hand pushing past your shirt and pants to grip your hip. He loves touching your soft skin.

You reach out your hand and put your fingers into his hair. You comb it back and smile. You missed doing this. Just laying down next to him and enjoying his company. His lips twitch into a small smile. It looks like he’s completely calmed down. He was so upset on your behalf. He does really care about you. You press yourself flush against him. It catches his attention to reopen his eyes. He was sorta drifting off. You kiss him. He hums in both pleasant surprise and in question. You don’t usually initiate the kissing unless he starts it off.

The drowsiness is quickly worn off as you make out with Jiraiya. He’s happy to participate. He rolls onto his back and brings you with him so you are on top. You straddle his waist and stay laid against his torso. His hands run up and down your sides and back. You gently run your tongue against his. You massage his scalp and gently scratch your nails against it. He loves some good head scratches. You’ve learned to give him some scratches whenever his head is in reach.

Jiraiya puts his hands under your shirt. His fingers massage into your lower back. This is quite nice! You are usually more reserved. He’s the one that tends to keep you against his lips. You still get flustered easily and need break or else you might pass out from all the blood in your head. You run your hands down the hem of his shirt. It’s already falling open to reveal his chest. You touch it through the netted armour shirt he wears. His skin is soft underneath the hard material of the shirt.

It’s not scary anymore. You know what you are getting into now. And you missed him so much! The days that went by felt so long without him there. All you thought about was Jiraiya. You wanted him home. You just... wanted him.

“I think I’m ready.” You spoke quietly.

“Ready? Ready for what?” He asked.

The all familiar warmth of a heavy blush coats your cheek. You tuck the hair by his face behind his ears. He’s watching you curiously. His fingers are tapping along your spine as his head tilts in question. He sneaks one hand away from your back to touch your face. His thumb ran over your cheek and the back of his fingers rested right underneath his thumb. It was gentle and soothing.

“I.... I’m ready to...” You trail off. You swallow back the anxiety and fluttering feeling in your belly that comes with saying these words. “I’m ready to have sex. I want you.” Saying rocked your nerves a little. Your cheeks burn brighter. “P-Please have sex with me!”

Jiraiya hesitates. His expression changes. It’s a cross between a cringe and worry. You stare at him. Did you say it wrong? Was something wrong? He brushes his hand through your hair.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He said after several seconds of silence.

That was surprising. Wouldn’t he want you? Doesn’t he want you? You sit up on your knees still straddling him. The feeling of doing something silly and wrong floods you.

“Oh.” You say sadly.

“It’s not like I don’t want to.” Jiraiya clarifies. His thumb rubs your thigh. His other hand runs down your stomach. He badly wants to see it naked again. “But you went through something today. I don’t want you to rush yourself because of someone else’s actions.”

You shake your head. You pull off your shirt. You reach up behind your back to unclasp your bra. “I’m not doing this because of someone else! I missed you! I...” You swallow nervously. “I-I want you to fu... fuck me.”

His brows rise up in surprise. “Did you just swear?” He laughed when you nodded. He helped you pull off your bra. He admired your completely naked torso. “You’re sure you want this?”

You nod. Scraggly man’s actions play in the back of your head. He was the personified fear you had about sex. He was the opposite of Jiraiya. Harsh and mean. Bruising and painful. It would be everything horrible. Especially since you know your boyfriend would be sweet and gentle. He wouldn’t hurt you. You know it’ll be fine.

“It would have destroyed me.... if I’m being honest.” Jiraiya suddenly said. Maybe he could read your mind. Or your expression says more than you realize. He smiled, but it was tired and sad. “I don’t know what I would do if I was too late. I failed to protect you. I’m sorry about that.”

All he really knows is that he would have lost his mind. He’d go on a tirade. The man who hurt you would have been dragged into the street and beat from one end of the village to the other. Such a disgusting crime needs to be brought to attention and judged. How dare someone touch you! Once he got his aggression out and had left that pathetic bastard a bloody heap on the ground, Jiraiya would return to you. He’d do everything to comfort you and guilt would eat him up. You were hurt in a way that is unforgivable.

“Don’t think like that.” You say. The grip on your thighs got tighter from his emotional state of mind. You place your hands over his. You offer him a smile. “I know you’d be there to save me.”

Jiraiya smiles, your words have comforted him. You squeeze his hands and he squeezes your hips. You guide his hands to your pants. He looks between your eyes and your pants. You bite your lip and nod. He unbuttoned your pants and pulled down the zipper. You move your hips and he guides one of your legs out of the material. He pulls it off of you without you getting off of his lap too much. Now you are just in your underwear. Goosebumps break out over your skin as he stares at you. His gaze is so intense.

“You are really beautiful.” He said.

“Thank you. You are too.” You flush. “Or uh... handsome.”

Oh you sweet thing. Jiraiya helps you with his top layers. You are shaking a little with nerves as he lets you take over for his bottoms. You scoot down his legs, pulling off his pants and underwear off. Which isn’t a scary task anymore since you know his body. You feel comfortable and confident with Jiraiya. It will feel good. He’s loving and careful. You kiss down his chest. He hums happily and his fingers graze the sizes of your hips, playing with your panties.

Your hips are wiggling with anticipation. They slide down your legs. You pop your feet out of the fabric and you are now as naked as he is. You sat on his waist with your bare skin against his. He grabs your now bare hips and guides you to grind against him. You can feel how hard he’s getting. You stroke your hands down his chest as you rock your hips.

“How does it feel?” Jiraiya asked. “You’re okay to keep going?”

“Yes... I like this.” You answer with a slow nod.

“Sit up. It’ll be easier if you’re straightened out.”

You nod and do as he advised. You can feel Jiraiya’s legs against your butt rise to held support you. If you fall back, his legs will keep you up. He guides you up by the hip and his free hand reaches in between the space he created. The tip of his dick just barely kissed the edge of your entrance. He pushed you down ever so slightly to take an inch of it. He bites his lip and holds is breath. Fuck that feels good.

“Go down when you feel ready. Take it slow.” Jiraiya continues to be sweet on you. He smiles at you encouragingly.

“Will it hurt?” You ask in a very tiny voice. You’ve heard stories that the first time is always painful.

“It might, to be honest. Every woman is different when it comes to the experience.”

Oh. Oh my. Your expression must have said too much. He looked down between his legs where your privates were just meeting his. It’s so close and he knows how good it’s gonna feel. He lets out his held breath and continues to smile. If you feel even a little bit not cool with it, then he doesn’t want to do it.

“It’s alright. We can stop.” He assured you.

You shake your head. “I want to keep going.”

This is something you want. You grip his hand that was on your hip. You squeeze it for assurance and support as you sink down. Jiraiya sucks in a breath and holds it. The grip on your hip got tighter. You feel every inch you take. You feel his hand and you realize you’re near the end of his length. Which was strange as you already feel filled up. He slides it out of the way, his knuckles pressing against your clit as he does so. Oh gosh there’s so much more to take.

You inhale deeply and hold it as you sink all the way down. Your nails scrape against his tummy as you clench your fists. You are flush against his waist now. There’s a mix of sensations in your body. It feels good! That’s the first message running through your nerves and feeding your brain. It feels really good! But there’s a faint tingle and burn at the very core of your sex. You can feel how big and long he is. Every inch was felt. Your body is tensed and clenched around it. It pulses with its own beat as you sit there and take it all in.

“How is it?” Jiraiya asked. His voice was husky and breathless. He’s panting already. You feel amazing to him. He rotated his hand around to your innermost part of your thigh. He began to rub his thumb against your clit to encourage you. “Does it hurt?”

Your mouth is stuck hanging open. You shake your head. The little waves of pleasure his thumb is providing is giving you the little bit of good to make you forget the bad. The pain soon fades away with his help. He doesn’t force you to move until you are ready.

“W-What do I do?” You ask. You look for his guidance with flushed cheeks and heavy breathing.

A reassuring smile grows on Jiraiya’s lips. He pulls on your hips. You follow the direction to rise on your knees, then he pushes on your thigh to bring you back down. You watch as his face loses composure and his eyes flutter a little. His neck relaxes so that his head falls back against the pillow and he inhales deeply. His hands continue to guide you into a very slow pace of rising part way and sinking back down. You focus on the feeling of his erection sliding in and out. Your insides are hugging and holding onto everything that’s happening as they adjust to the new intrusion. But not in a bad way. It’s quite pleasant.

“Fuck, that’s good!” He moaned. His hips rise to meet yours when you push down. His legs push against your back as they shift and writhe from the pleasure.

Jiraiya looked down at what was happening between his body and yours. It’s a nice sight. You look pretty good riding him. Your thighs are quivering from the stimulation and strain. You’re aroused enough to have your wetness run down your thighs. It’s soaking his skin at his pelvis and slicking his cock nicely. His eyes follow the invisible line up your body starting at your bellybutton. Your belly and chest is heaving with heavy breathing. His eyes meet your face. He smiles. Now that’s what he wanted to see. Your eyes are closed. Your lips are parted. You are breathing through your mouth with audible breathing and small moans. Your hands leave his on your hips. You move your hands to touch your stomach right under your bellybutton where your pelvis meets your torso. Your brows twitch down and your mouth opens wider. You move faster. Your face contorts more.

“What are you feeling?” Jiraiya asked you. He dragged the back of his relaxed hand down the area you are bracing. “Is it hurting you?”

“No...” You answer and shake your head. You sink all the way back down until you are impaled all the way. You grind back and forth and your breath hitches. “Ah... ah... It feels good.”

His brows raise. On a hunch, he pressed on your chest to force you backwards. You arch your back with your shoulder blades hitting his knees. He quietly tells you to swivel back and forth rather than up and down. You take in a deep breath. You cry out in pleasure. The sensation is insane! His cock is pushing and grinding against that spot in a way his fingers and tongue never have.

Jiraiya grabs your hands and holds them tightly. Your fingers are interlocked with his. He locks his arms in place. You take over and use the leverage that his hands are providing. You can lift yourself with your arms push yourself backwards to arch harder against his legs. Oh! Oh wow! The friction this angle is providing you was intense. He wiggles his hips in the same rhythm to yours. His breathing picks up to the same pace as yours. Your reaction is exciting him. Plus, it feels absolutely phenomenal.

“Ah!” You cry out in pleasure.

Your body goes ridged beyond your control. The flood of now very familiar positive stimulation overtakes you. Your grip turns white knuckled on his hands. Your hips push out and your walls squeeze as your body contorts. It lasts for several seconds. Your whole body is shaky by the time it finishes.

After you relaxed, Jiraiya began to laugh. It was breathless and quiet. He helped you lay down over top of him. You mewl as his cock is still rock hard and stuck inside of you. The shift in the angle was strange with the extra part inside of you. He guided your face up to his and kissed you.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” He asked.

“Y-Yes.” You nod. You shift your hips and the sensation of him still inside of you sent shivers up your spine. “C... Can we keep going? Or do we stop now?”

“You’re ready for more already?” The corner of his mouth twitches higher than the other in a lopsided grin. He kissed you again. “Am I a good influence or what?”

“The best!” You agree. Your cheeks flush and you smile. You hold onto his face and give him a deeper, more passionate kiss then the quick ones he was giving you. “Thank you... for all that you’ve done for me.”

His smile straightened out into a gentle and loving one. His eyes softened. He wrapped his arms around your back. You gasp when he rolls over. Jiraiya’s weight is on you, but it’s not unbearable. He stays bent over top of you. He holds your eyes. You search them with curiosity.

Jiraiya guides your legs to curl around the back of his thighs. He relaxes until his torso is flush against yours. His legs spread out, forcing yours apart further. His hands drag along the sheets until they are by your head. Your hands settle on his biceps. He began to move his hips. They are quick and shallow thrusts.

“You’re welcome.” He pressed his face against the side of your neck. His breath his hot against your skin. He’s panting loudly by your ear. He kissed your neck before continuing. “I love being with you. I love doing things with you.”

The pleasure of the thrusts were different. It’s not as intense like riding him was. It’s still providing amazing sensations to your body. It’s much more intimate with his face right next to yours. His eyes observing every little thing your face is doing. He carefully adjusts his movements if you make any sort of grimace or twitch.

Then he goes back down to give your neck attention. Kisses line the side of your neck from collar to jaw. He moaned and his nose pressed against your head against your hair while his mouth was against your ear. He moaned your name as his hips pushed as far as they could get against you.

“You feel amazing!” He whispered into your ear. He sounds so breathless. He can’t catch his breath because of how good this feels. Something about that fact is arousing. Like having sex with you required the same energy as running a marathon.

You grip onto Jiraiya’s arms tighter. Your nails dig into his skin as he keeps you on your toes with a different position. He wants you to experience some of the different sensations they can bring. But he also didn’t want to flip you around yet. He needs to watch your face to make sure you enjoy every second of it. You’re still very quiet in the sheets, preferring to pant and bite your lip to hold back your noises. No matter how much he encourages you to let it loose, you never really do unless you’re close. Perhaps next time he’ll hold your inner thighs and force them out while you claw the sheets for a grip as he fucks you from behind. Later. All in due time. His hands run up your thighs again. Even the smallest adjustments can give you something different to feel. It’s not like he doesn’t feel it either, honestly this is some of the better sex he’s had, but he’s focusing on your pleasure right now.

Your legs are brought down to plant firmly beside him. Your feet by his knees. He hooked his arm around your lower back. There’s an unpleasant tension in your back as you lock yourself to stay against him.

“Relax.” Jiraiya told you. He kissed the space in between your breasts. He looked up at you from that spot. “Relax your back, shoulders, and neck. I’m going to support your hips. All you have to do is take it. Alright?”

You nod. You relax like he says. It immediately feels better. Your hands slide down his arms. His left arm is still on the bed with his hand firmly planted on the sheets. You run your hand down rest your hand on top of his. Your other hand simply hits the bed and relaxes. Your now in a permanent arch supported only by his arm and your legs. But he shouldn’t rely on those since they are already shaking. His fingers grip your hip tightly and he locks his arm tightly around your back to keep you in place.

This new position allows him to use the full sway of his hips while letting you rock with the natural motion of them. Jiraiya resumes thrusting. He goes hard and fast. Pulling almost all the way out before pushing back in swiftly. He watches your reaction as he does so. He lays kisses on your chest to all the way down the length of your sternum. He goes back up with his lips dragging along the wet marks he left behind.

You can’t get a breath in. Your mouth hangs open. It’s rough but good! Your body is so stimulated. It isn’t sure what to register! It feels good from top to bottom. Your legs squish against his hips. Your toes curl.

“T-That feels!... Ah!” You stammer to find the words.

“Good? Is it good?”

“Yes!” You inhale the word sharply. “Yes it’s good!”

Jiraiya cracks a smile before kissing your heated skin again. He breaths heavily against you as he gets more worked up. This is quite good! You feel better than he ever could have fantasize. He spent almost two months away from you! He missed every little thing about you and this was the perfect way to consummate the reunion. You go stiff again with your fingers clutching his hand. Your body tensing around him.

“Touch yourself if you need to! I know you’re close!” He yelled out. He grunted and inhales sharply. “I am too!”

You heed his sage advice. Jiraiya always knows what you want. He’s a good man and if he had a third arm he would jerk you off himself. Your free hand flys to touch yourself. He taught you how to. You curiously feel between your legs as his cock is stretching you in a way you’ve never known. Your finger brushes against your clit and it just added a layer you never knew you could put on. It sent waves of a different type of intense pleasure that only elevated the feeling of his thrusts.

You default to saying his name over and over as you edge towards the end. Jiraiya rests his head between the space between your breasts. Waves of his hot breath is washing over your skin as he gets more excited. No woman has ever made him feel this good before. He can’t hold on any longer! His hips break rhythm and jerk before pushing as deeply as they can inside of you. The unusual sensation of his cum flooded you just as you hit yours as well.

Jiraiya’s hand slipped forward and he collapsed on top of you. A yipe is forced out of you when his head collided fully into your chest and it took the air away from you. You are a sweaty heap on the bed with him on top of you. You try to catch your breath as his lips gently and slowly peck your skin.

“Ow... sorry.” He said before sitting up.

He crawls up to kiss you. His gentle kisses quickly put you at ease. You calm down quickly from your high. Your limbs feel heavy. What feels weird is how your tummy and sex are tingling. It’s not bad. It’s like it just moved in to remind you what you went through. There’s a suspicion growing in your mind that this tingling and soreness will stay for a while.

“It’s fine.” You respond softly. “I feel good.”

“I’m glad.” He put a kiss on your neck. “I didn’t hurt you? You’re okay?”

“Yes... I’m fine.”

You’re more than fine. You are satisfied. It’s something you haven’t felt since you met him. The complete satisfaction of orgasming by the hand of your lover. You feel loved and valued. No matter your setbacks and worries, Jiraiya was always there to assure you. He made you feel so good. It’s... wonderful.

At the same time, you are so genuine and sweet. Every time your eyes meets his, Jiraiya feels something. Like a skip in his heartbeat and a twinge in his spine. Where he was once lonely, he had you. You filled a void he didn’t know he had... Well maybe he did know. But he ignored it. He can’t really ignore his feelings any longer with you around.

A gasp leaves you when he pulls out. The unfamiliar feeling of emptiness was odd to say the least. It’s like he belonged there. Jiraiya grabs the blankets and pulls them up. There’s no better way to wrap up the session, or perhaps the beginning of another one, with cuddling and a good talk. You rest under the covers with your arms around him. He gently used his fingers to guide your face up by your chin to give you kisses.

“I love you.” The words slip out of you.

You gasp. Your cheeks get warm. You didn’t mean to just say it! Gah this was totally not how you wanted to tell him! You turn redder as you watch him. He blinks several times as he looked you over.

A gentle smile plays on his lips. Jiraiya holds your face to put more kisses on you. He loves kissing you. He loves you. He never knew he could find love like this. More or less just stumbled upon it. He kept coming back because he was so enamoured with you. There was just something about you he couldn’t let go. He was glad he took a risk by asking you out. He’s never been so happy. You’re an amazing woman. There’s not a thing he would change about you. So sweet and with such a big heart. How’d he get so lucky?

“I love you too.” Jiraiya said to you.

Happiness floods you. You smile widely and hold onto him tightly. You feel so happy you giggle before nuzzling into his neck. You are just happy! You have a great man that loves you. You got it so right on the first try! His hands rest on your butt.

You fall asleep in his arms much in the same way you had when he first showed you what sex can feel like. Jiraiya gently rubbed your thighs, butt, and lower back to help you find an easy sleep. He doesn’t last much longer and falls asleep too.

In the morning, you wake up to Jiraiya continuing to hold you. You are on your side, so is he. He’s facing you with his arm pillowing his head. He smiles at you. He rubs your hip. He kisses your lips until you are awake and moves onto your neck.

“How do you feel? Are you in pain at all?” He asks you.

You shake your head. “I feel good.” You raise your leg to rest on his hip. It was stiff and sore. You groan quietly under your breath. “I’m a little sore. But I feel good.”

“That’s good.” His finger drags up and down your hipbone. It tickles a little.

The way he looks up at you makes you blush. It’s loving. It’s gentle. It’s like he was saying he won’t ever let you go without using any words. You cuddle up to him with the top of your head pressing against his chin. He holds you against him. His hand pressed on your back. You can feel every curve of his body with yours.

“How about I show you more?” Jiraiya suggested. He kissed the top of your head. He guided your leg up to rest on his hip. “Do you feel up for that?”

You sheepishly look up at him. You nuzzle into his neck and kiss it. He hums a pleasant note. That feels pretty good. He showed you the sensitive spot on his neck and you’ve occasionally nipped and kissed at it while doing promiscuous things with one another. It never failed to get him excited.

Well... another round doesn’t sound bad. You want to know about these things. He’s taught you some, but there is so much more to learn. You nod shyly before answering.

“Yes... Yes I want you to show me more.” You tell him.

Jiraiya beams a happy smile at you. “Alright!” He cheered. He rolled over until you were under him. “I’ll show you things all day! All night too if you want!”

“O-Okay!” You agree. Your cheeks get redder as you enthusiastically nod in agreement. “Please! Let’s go all day!”

He giggles as he is absolutely giddy to do this. Sex all day with the woman he loves? Uh, yes please! You give out the most breathless and cute noises as his lips tickle your neck. You hold onto him tightly and began to giggle as well.

It all feels right. You hold your boyfriend and dissolve into laughter with him. You’ve been through many ups with him. The one down though experienced was quickly cured with his help. You exchange giddy ‘I love you’s with him all day. You express it very physically with him as well! Jiraiya quietly promises he won’t ever leave you alone again. You run your fingers through his hair and tell him that you know that.

All is well. It’s never been so well. It’s all going to be well for a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now whenever Jiraiya had to leave for missions, he had at least one friend show up to keep you company at your desk! It’s nice to have the company, but the way they eye down anyone who comes towards you is a little odd. 
> 
> For real tho, I hope I did well with this one since it was a request still technically. But thanks for reading as always and onto the next one!


	31. After Three Years Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It took a few months of planning, but the wedding was ready to go! While nervous, you and Jiraiya are excited to get married and start life together on the right foot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! I finished it! I hope you enjoy the positive vibes!

For once, Naruto actually woke up early because he was so excited. His auntie and favourite pervert are getting hitched! He woke up to the sound of water and heavy breathing. Which wasn’t exactly a welcoming sound. The hype was certainly squished when he entered the bathroom and Jiraiya looked petrified. The poor man had even cut himself while shaving. What does he do when the groom looks so scared? There’s not much he can do. The apartment was empty for the most part. They spent a majority of the ‘bachelor party’ moving everything to the new house. He had to drag a love drunk Jiraiya back to the apartment to not spoil anything for the next day. Jiraiya seemed fine then. He was stumbling around and squished Naruto into a hug while blabbing on about how excited he was to get married.

“I... I’m fine.” Jiraiya said as he stared at himself in the mirror.

Naruto grabbed your fiancé by the back of the arm and dragged him to the bedroom. The only thing that’s left in the house is the old mattresses. Yours has enough stains on it that Naruto really doesn’t want to think about. He used some toilet paper to put pressure on the cut. Jiraiya took over and held the paper against his face.

“Am I doing the right thing?” He asked quietly.

Naruto tilted his head in question. “What do you mean, Pervy Sage?”

“I uh... should I be marrying her?” Jiraiya asked more of himself than anyone else. He slumped down, feeling tired from the idea. He’s been overthinking for like six hours now. The moment he got into bed, his brain wouldn’t shut off and he stared at the ceiling as his brain worked at double the speed to review his buried doubts. He used his free hand to rub his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose. “Fuck it’s not fair. She’s so young... what am I doing?”

Jiraiya feels as if he’s taken every step he could. He retired from the military to live a peaceful life. He’s taking steps to stop smoking and cutting his drinking back. Anything that might give him a few more years. But the fact is that time still feels like it’s against him. You are so much younger. And he’s so old. He’s already over the hill and you aren’t even on it. He should have just let you go. Let you be happy with someone else to spare you the pain of being with him for what feels like such little time. But he loves you so much! He feels like he’s going crazy just from being away from you. He feels incomplete and weird. Like he had felt when he left for two years.

A hard whack to his forehead got his attention. He looked at Naruto in offence. Did... did Naruto just hit him? That little shit! Naruto is standing in fronting of him with arms crossed and a firm frown.

“What the heck, Pervy Sage?!” Naruto was greatly displeased. He whacked Jiraiya around to drive home the point. Maybe if he hits the old dude around in the head enough, some sense may return to it. “I thought you loved auntie! You can’t get cold feet! I won’t let you break her heart like that!”

“Ow! Ow I do love her!” Jiraiya retaliated. He caught Naruto’s hand and frowned at him. “I just... What if I’m wrong? I don’t want to... to...” He sighed and rubbed his eyes again. “I don’t want to put her through anymore pain. I’m old... so much could go wrong.”

“You aren’t that old!” Naruto scoffed at the idea. “You’re happy aren’t you?”

“Yes...”

“And I know you make her happy!” Naruto beamed a smile. “I know I gave you a hard time at first, but I know you and auntie are good for each other. Practically perfect! This is the happiest I’ve seen both of you! Without a doubt this’ll go great!”

After several blinks, Jiraiya relaxes. That was the first nice thing Naruto had said about the relationship. It does make him feel better. He sighed and smiled. “Okay... Okay thanks, kid.”

“No problem, you old perv!” Naruto hit his back in a friendly way. “Let’s get dressed! We got a wedding to get to!”

“I’m fine.” You quietly tell the people around you.

You feel tired. But happy. You didn’t sleep very well. Your brain wouldn’t turn off. You missed Jiraiya. He insisted you and him don’t see each other for a whole day before the wedding. Which was harder than you thought it was going to be. The whole night you wished you had his arms around you. You crashed at your maid of honour’s house and she was kindly letting the rest of your ragtag wedding party get ready there as well.

So far the most touching thing was how some of the women you know have come together to help you. You weren’t particularly close to them until now. Sakura agreed right away to be your maid of honour, it fit since Naruto was Jiraiya’s best man. Hinata with her fine eye for detail adjusted your clothing and tied your obi into a perfect bow, which was red while your dress was white. Ten Ten reined in her strong teammates to help set up things and keep them on track to not break anything in their need to prove themselves and their youth. All of them were currently there with you. They giggled and asked you questions about love. They’re young! It’s natural that they’re curious. But it’s hard to explain. There’s no real words to describe what it’s like to be in love.

You stop fretting with your hair. You’ve decided to keep mostly the same. Down and natural. Mostly because Jiraiya tends to prefer it that way, but he won’t ever admit that. He always touches it when it’s down though. He runs his fingers through it and curls sections of it around his finger. He was the first man to say your hair is beautiful. He compares it to lovely things like how it shimmers like fire in the light. Or has the colours of roses and cherries. But when he compares it to cherries. He tends to lightly push your bottom lip down with his thumb and say how he likes that your lips remind him of cherries too.

“Sweet and delicious!” He’d jovially say before finally kissing you.

Sigh.

You miss him.

But all is well. You’re fine. More than fine. You’re getting married today to the man you love! How can things not be fine? Your nerves settle a little. It’s gonna be more than absolutely fine. When you see Jiraiya, it’ll be to vow to love him for the rest of time. Nothing could be more perfect.

You grab your bouquet, which was carefully arranged by Ino. She made you something that really reflected what you told her you wanted. The mix of winter and spring flowers were perfect. With lilies, daffodils, and snowdrops. They were red, yellow, and white. Bright and happy, yet mellow and subtle. Focusing on the blossoms calm you down.

“It’s time!” Sakura was practically bouncing in place she was so excited.

Okay. There’s no use dwelling on the small things now. It’s time to get married. Which is still a little wild to think about. It’s all happening so fast! Less than half a year of being with Jiraiya and he’s gonna wed you. How much better could life piece together!

The ceremony is outside among the trees that make Konoha so special. Old and large trees that protect their people with their thick shady canopies. It maybe a training ground, but done up properly with flower petals scattered on the ground and a small crowd with well dressed people, it’s not so bad. Simple and easy. Nothing else is needed. Everything was perfect.

“Auntie!” Naruto chirped happily and bounded up to you.

“Look at you! You look wonderful!” You coo at the sight of him.

He’s in a formal haori hakama that was back on top and orange on the bottom. The clan symbol was on the back of his haori. He even combed his hair and washed his ears! You fix a crease in his kosode and smile warmly.

“So do you!” He laughed at your fretting and pulled your hand away. He leaned in close and smiled devilishly. “You should have seen Pervy Sage this morning. He was freaking out!”

“Oh? A little anxious was he?” A smile grows on your face. The idea of Jiraiya giving in to his nerves was unusual. The man was usually so stoic. He was usually laid back and chill with nothing that could really rattle him.

“Completely! He’s pacing back and forth right now.” Your nephew cackles with joy.

“Don’t be so rude.” You lightly scold. You can’t resist reaching up to fix some of Naruto’s hairs. “A man has the right to be nervous on his wedding day. I hope to see you pace that anxiously on your day of marriage.”

“Yeah yeah, I know!” He grabbed your hand and linked it with his. “Let’s get this show on the road!”

Naruto sent a clone to give the thumbs up. Jiraiya’s sigh of relief could be heard throughout the field. Thank god it’s starting. Thank god you’re here! You round the corner holding onto Naruto tightly. He pats your hand as if to say he has you. You know he does. He won’t let you trip. It you do, he’ll catch you. Your wedding party goes first, with the teenage girls who helped you leading the way to your husband to be. Your breath hitches as your eyes meet his.

The anxiety and worry completely melted off of Jiraiya’s face. He smiled and let out the breath he was holding. There you are. There he is. Now that feels right. Seeing you in your wedding dress was... perfect. His eyes look you over. Then his eyes meet yours again and his smile grows. He didn’t have to say it. His face said it all.

You look him over in the same way. He looks amazing. He always looks amazing but like today he looks more amazing. He’s also in traditional haori hakama but with a muted dark green hakama rather than the brilliant orange like your nephew has on. It’s very similar in colour to his everyday wear but darker. His hair is down, which is very rare to see, with pieces pulled from behind his ears over his shoulders. There’s a dust of pink over his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears. He must be feeling a swell of things if he’s so pink.

Naruto officially gives you away with a kiss on the cheek and a firm hug. You hold him tightly before letting go. He puts your hands in your love’s with confidence. Jiraiya shares a coy smile with Naruto as the teen retreats to stand behind him. Sakura holds your flowers while you hold onto Jiraiya tightly.

“Hi.” He finally said.

“Hi.” You say back.

“You look...” He paused to chuckle. There’s so many words to describe it but he can’t form any of them. His brain is failing to communicate the words to his mouth. He brushed some of your hair out of your face. “Gorgeous.” It’s the word he’ll settle on, but there’s truly no word in this language to accurately describe how you look to him.

You smile at him. Jiraiya knows exactly what to say. You notice something on his face and reach out to caress his jaw. You run your thumb over the little cut he had there. He simply shrugged.

“Cut myself while shaving.” He explained.

“Oh? Where you a little nervous?”

Jiraiya shook his head. “Nah. I’ve been pretty steady.”

A bemused and heavily sarcastic snort from behind him said otherwise. You giggle when Jiraiya quickly looked over his shoulder to shoot Naruto a dirty look. He whipped back around when the man officiating the wedding cleared his throat. While your ears listen to the speech the officiate is saying, your eyes never leave your beloved. Jiraiya is the same boat. His thumb runs over your knuckles as he holds your hand. His other hand wanders. He uses the back of his hand to caress your cheek and his thumb runs over your bottom lip. He’s addicted to touching you and he’s been deprived of it for too long. You run your hand down the hem line of his kosode. You touch his bare chest underneath, feeling his pounding heartbeat for a moment. You move on aimlessly to stroke his hair. It looks so pretty when it’s down and styled like that.

It’s like no one else existed in that moment. Just you and Jiraiya. The man you love so much in the centre of your world. When it came to the vows, they were spoken softly. No one else needed to hear. You repeat the words as they were spoken to you. Jiraiya does the same with the same quiet tone. The rings are exchanged and placed on one another’s fingers. They are simple silver bands that match.

“I now pronounce you partners for life.” The officiate tapped Jiraiya’s arm and motioned to you. “You may kiss your wife.”

Jiraiya doesn’t need to be told twice. He curls his fingers under your chin and angled it ever so slightly before going in. Your lips connect with his. It feels like electricity sparked when they do. You reach up to place your hands on the back of his neck. He moves his down your sides before settling on your hips. It’s a moment that you’ll remember forever. The first kiss as husband and wife.

When it broke, you are smiling. So is Jiraiya and he refuses to step away or let go. His forehead is pressed against yours. His nose and lips keep brushing against yours. You open your eyes and are met with his. They always shine so brightly now. They have never changed whenever they look at you. The dark colour of them only accentuates the light when he looks at you with such joy and love.

It was then that you tuned back into the world. There is cheering and clapping all around you. Heat rises to your face as you sneak a look to your crowd of guests. It was a pretty good turn out. You barely even noticed them you were so focused on seeing your beloved. All of Naruto’s friends were there along with their teachers. All of their faces you know as ones that have always been nice to you. Friends. They’re your friends too. You retake your flowers and Jiraiya holds your hand tightly as he leads you back down the aisle the crowd created. They throw more flower petals as you walk by with your husband.

As soon as you round the nearest corner, Jiraiya picks you up by the back of your thighs. You hold onto him by his neck and wrap your legs around his waist as he held you tightly and span around in a circle. He fell over and you yelp as you land on your back on the soft grass.

“We’re married!” He yelled excitedly to the sky and his limps extended upwards. He relaxed and rolled over until he was on top of you. He pecked your lips in kisses. “Finally. Finally you’re my wife.”

Jiraiya hardly remembers why he was so worried. Nothing in his life has ever felt so right. He feels relieved now that it’s over. He’s got a ring on his finger and a beautiful wife. He never thought he would ever do this. It feels so amazing to live this way! He’s gonna feel it for the rest of his life.

“The worst is over now.” You couldn’t resist laughing. You feel giddy with relief. That went of without a hitch! You hold the back of his head as you kiss him back. You fix a lock of hair that landed over his face and picked out some of the petals that landed in his thick white mane. “You look amazing, by the way.”

“Thanks. So do you.” He pressed one final big kiss on you before pulling back and dragging you back to your feet. “Come on! There’s one thing I want to do before we go to the party.”

You hold onto his hand as he took you away. For a moment, you wonder what could be so important to do. Then the entrance to the cemetery came into view. Ah. Oh. Jiraiya stopped in front of the graves that mark Minato and Kushina. Seeing them always made you sad. They shouldn’t have their names on stones when they were so young and happy. You lean in and rest your head against Jiraiya’s arm.

This is another activity that took a lot of his time with you. You always had to bring Jiraiya with you to visit the cemetery. He was the rock you relied on when seeing them so you don’t fall apart. When you were young and they first died, you couldn’t work up the strength to go see your family’s graves. Until Jiraiya forced you. He said you had to face it to move on. You remember kicking and screaming as he yanked you along. He dumped you in front of their graves and yelled at you to face the truth. He told you to stop hiding from the pain and deal with it. That you wouldn’t be happy until you had that closure. After he was done his emotional rant, he stared at you for a long time. You stared back. Then broke into tears. He knelt down on the ground beside you and held you while you cried.

“And that’s when you knew you loved me?” Jiraiya asked.

“Yeah...” You sigh. His hand runs up into your hair. It feels nice as he plays with it and combs it away from your face. “I knew that any man who would force me to face what I fear, but stayed to help me deal with it was a man worth everything in the world.”

He smiles. For that long eh? Wow was he foolish for not seeing it sooner. And for hesitating to act for so long. Well... he has you now. Now and forever. You picked two of the nicest flowers out of your bouquet and handed one to Jiraiya. He took it and at the same time you and him set them on a grave. While Minato and Kushina couldn’t be here to celebrate, you still want them to be apart of this. You don’t have much to offer them aside from a flower or two. In a perfect world where they lived, without a doubt Kushina would have run half of the show to make sure everything was perfect for your big day, and Minato would be the very calm energy Jiraiya would rely on to relax and focus when the ceremony started. He’d stand behind his teacher with pride and share wide flirty grins with Kushina who was behind you. Their son was a good stand in... He gave you away while he stood proudly behind his teacher.

Your sniffle didn’t go unnoticed. Jiraiya immediately turned towards you and wiped away the tear that had slipped free down your cheek. There should be no tears shed on your wedding day. He doesn’t ever want to see you cry and he’ll do everything he can to stop your tears whenever they come. He gently lifted your chin to force you to look at him before he went in for a kiss.

“I think they understand why we came...” He offered you some words of quiet comfort. “Let’s go, before Naruto sends a wave of clones to find us.”

You crack a smile and Jiraiya smiles even wider. There we go, that’s what he likes to see. He scooped you up into a bridal carry and kicked off from the ground. He used his now not so used ninja skills to jump along the high points he comes across. The roofs and railings becoming his walkway as he used well placed steps to walk along the narrow passages they create. The sudden fast pace and random directions he jumps gets a thrill out of you. It’s been so long since you’ve felt this! The last time you ran like this was when you chased Naruto when he was a little kid. You would chase him, catch him, lecture him, then drag him back to the class he was skipping.

It’s been a while since Jiraiya ran like this too. The news of his retirement spread throughout the village like wildfire. The people of Konoha were quite surprised he signed off. But put two and two together when your engagement to him was announced in the paper a day later. You accepted his choice. If that’s what he wants, then you won’t argue. It meant plenty of time devoted to one another. Not that you are worried, but he promised you that he has more than enough money that he makes with his books to take care of you. Surprisingly, Naruto took it pretty well. He was conflicted because he didn’t understand how someone could make that decision, but also did understand since it was to be with you. He stopped moping when Jiraiya promised to help him with anything he didn’t understand for his training.

Jiraiya came to a stop in the village square. There was a large party tent set up with lights stringed along the inside. There was tables set and people flooded inside. The fall changeover meant the sun was already setting, so the whole place was lit up beautifully. He set you down on your feet. He grabbed your hand as he led the way towards it.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Mister and Misses Uzumaki!” Your excited nephew announced to the crowd.

You grin while Jiraiya huffs in amusement. He wasn’t expecting to hear it for the first time by Naruto, but it was still nice to hear. It’s traditional for the one being married into a clan to take the name. He’s happy to hold a name like Uzumaki. He wasn’t so attached to his last name anyways. The guests cheered as you entered with your husband. You can’t help but blush as you had so much attention on you and it wasn’t negative. The whole place just had an atmosphere of love and acceptance.

Everyone was out of their seats and mingling, so you usher towards your table. The decision was made to make the head table all about you and your husband. Just a small table for you and him. Your wedding party at a table together near you and everyone else was free to sit where they liked. It seemed that teams were sitting together with their senseis floating about between an adults table they made and going to check on their kids.

The food was finally set out. Jiraiya spent the money to get catering. While people kindly offered to bring food, he refused since he didn’t want to put anyone out. This was easier. He used a mix mash of a few different local restaurants to give people some variety. Including ramen to please Naruto. Which was honestly pretty great! Who doesn’t want a big bowl of noodles on their wedding day! It was nice to have the moment to sit down and relax with your food. Which you didn’t realize how hungry you were until you had the food in front of you. The anxiety of today had numbed the hunger pains. You set your hand on Jiraiya’s thigh and leaned in to rest your head on his shoulder. He put his arm around you and kissed the top of your head. He rested his cheek on your head and his thumb rubbed back and forth on your arm. It was nice to just take a moment and enjoy being next to him.

Champagne was set out and thus started the toasts. It started with Naruto and Sakura fighting for the mic until Sakura won. She gave a short and sweet toast about love and all the great things that come with it. She was well spoken and kind. It ended with her raising her glass and everyone joined her. Next came your beloved nephew. He prattled on a little, comparing love to a good bowl of ramen. You had to squeeze Jiraiya’s thigh to keep him from snickering.

“He wrote his own speech.” He whispered to you.

“You let him? I’m surprised.” You raise a brow and grin.

“Yeah well, he was very insistent. I managed to get it from three pages to one.”

Naruto wrote three pages? My goodness! He didn’t even put that much effort into his school essays. What on earth did he doddle about for three pages? The crowd was giggling at some of his comparisons. Like how marriage is like a rich broth and it’s required to offset but enhance the noodles when they come together. But he wrapped it up on a good note.

“But uh... anyways.” Naruto paused and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. He smiled at you and Jiraiya brightly. “I just hope I find someone that makes me happy like how auntie and Pervy Sage are!”

You raise a glass with your husband and cheer with the crowd. Someone started clinking their glass, which everyone else joined in. Jiraiya was quick to stand and offer you his hand. You grab it and he pulled you up before grabbing your ass. He pulled you flush against him and went down to give you a kiss. You held onto his arms as he kissed you breathless. He even dipped you backwards which got a big cheer from the crowd. He pulled you away from the table and went straight for the middle of the area, which was cleared for dancing.

“You know how to dance?” You ask surprised.

“I’m a man of many talents.” Jiraiya answers with a grin.

He took charge in holding your hand and waist firmly. You put your hand on his shoulder and grip his hand tightly. He took the first step in leading the first dance. As is traditional, it was a slow song. You follow his lead smoothly, falling in line with his steps as he waltzed with you. He even lifted you up by your waist and put you in a small spin before setting you down. The announcement went out that other couples were welcome to join in. Not many did. You saw Asuma bring Kurina, she was a little resistant because of her pregnancy. She was already showing and hesitant to speak about it. But he assured her that all was perfect... Which was honestly super sweet. Sakura basically forced Hinata to ask Naruto. She was bright red, but he was a little oblivious and brought her out with enthusiasm. Funnily enough, Gai dragged Kakashi out for some sort of challenge. You hid your amusement by burying your face into your husband’s chest. Jiraiya tilted you back into a dip and you naturally let your head fall back. He kissed your neck in a soft, gentle kiss before lifting you back up.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too.” You whisper back. You put your hand on the back of his head and guide him down for another kiss.

While the more traditional dances had to be cut due to the circumstances, there was one you insisted you have. You pulled your nephew to centre stage and forced him to dance with you. He was a little awkward at first, but got it once you led him a little. Naruto is the only blood family you got left. It just felt right to have a dance with him.

Once the song ended, Jiraiya interrupted to take you back in his arms. It uh.... went back and forth for a while. The old rivalry for your attention rekindled as the two men fought for a dance with you. Can’t they set it aside for one day? You played along, pretending not to notice when Naruto pouted or Jiraiya glared. It was pretty fun to be whisked away by your two favourite people as they competed. Your husband eventually won out, spinning you away by your hand and holding you tightly. You laughed and nuzzled your face against his neck while he smirked victoriously.

You stay on the dance floor with him for several songs. It seemed no matter how peppy or upbeat, you and Jiraiya preferred to slow dance. The position changed where he had his hand on your back and his head on yours. You are against his body with your head turned against his neck. He can feel your eyelashes brush against his skin you’re so close. He’s bent over a little due to you being shorter. His other hand was still holding yours to hold the lazy dance stance. His feet barely lifting to sway with you.

Something catches his eye. Jiraiya looks up. He smiles and lifts his hand off of your back to wave. At the very edge of the tent, where the lights are barely illuminating, stood Tsunade. She showed up! Jiraiya missed her greatly when he noticed she wasn’t there for the ceremony. She smiled and waved back at him. She stayed along the edge and never entered, even though she was more than welcome too. It’s best in her mind that she watch from a distance. Even from there she could see how happy he was. He nuzzled his cheek back against your head. He shut his eyes and went back to being indescribably happy. Next he opened his eyes, she was gone.

“Is something wrong?” You ask quietly against his neck.

You felt the vibrations in his chest and neck when he hummed thoughtfully. He kissed the top of your head and told you everything was fine. He has all he could ever want.

The party lasted late into the night. When you kept yawning, Jiraiya decided it’s time to take you home. He’s tired too, but extremely excited for this part. He sweeps you off of your feet and carries you away. He left with you quietly, the guests still there didn’t even notice. It was mostly the rowdy teenage boys who still had energy to expend. Your head rested on his shoulder.

“Where are you going?” You ask. You gesture vaguely in the other direction. “The apartment is that way.”

“I know.” Jiraiya looked down at you with a grin.

You are certainly confused. Where in the world could he be taking you? He carried you to the older neighbourhoods of Konoha. He finally stopped in front of a house. It was pretty on the outside. A pale yellow house with a little stone walk way to the front door. There is high fences and an old spruce tree in front to make it cozy and closed in. It’s private.

Jiraiya set you down at the front door. You lean against him and watch him curiously. He pulled a key out from his pocket. He smiles and sticks it in the lock. It clicks and he opens the door.

“Welcome home.” He said and gestured to the inside.

What? Oh... Oh!

Oh holy shit!

You switch between looking at him and into the house. You take a tentative step into the foyer. Jiraiya reached across from you and flicked on the light. You take it in. The freshly painted walls that had the pictures from the apartment on them. You can see some of your furniture in the living room from your perspective at the door. You look at your husband.

“You bought us a house?” You ask, stunned at the idea.

“Er yeah.” Jiraiya casually shrugged his shoulders. His hand reached up and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Do you like it?”

You don’t answer him. Your brain is lagging on what to take in. The fact that he bought a house is still sinking in. He worries a little. Maybe if he showed you around! Jiraiya grabbed your hand and took you for the tour. There’s a kitchen with lots of counter space and cabinets. It’s open to see into the dining room and living room. It’s all furnished with the stuff from the apartment and some new stuff as well.

“It’s two levels.” Jiraiya explained as he led you into the living room. He pointed out a few things as he explained. There was a bay window with a cushion, perfect for reading or cuddling that he seems quite excited to use. “This level and a basement.... the basement isn’t really finished though.”

“You bought a house.” You repeat, still in shock.

“Yeah! Oh! Wait until you see the bathroom!” Jiraiya continues to be enthusiastic. He led you to the main bathroom and he opened the door. “Pretty nice, eh?”

You look at it. It was a full wet room with a tub, detachable shower head, and a nice vanity. He’s prattling on about the renovation he and Naruto did to set the tub in. He was clearly very proud of his work. He’s not a handy guy so he’s very pleased with the result. And it gave him an excuse to order the little punk around again, which was fun. It did look very nice. Clean and well installed.

“We also worked on the laundry room! It looks awesome, you’re gonna love it!” He insisted and pulled you to the back of the house. You stop and pull on his hand.

“Jiraiya.” You say his name quietly.

“I know I should have asked you.”

“Jiraiya.” You raise your voice.

“It’s the perfect place! You just haven’t seen the rest of it yet!”

“Jiraiya!”

He paused and stood there nervously. He knew this move was gonna be a hit or miss. It was ballsy to buy a house without telling you. But he wanted this new chapter in his shared life with you to be completely fresh. And there is no room for him in the apartment. It’s just too little for a growing family. You look up at him with teary eyes. You wrap your arms around him tightly.

“I love it.” You tell him. “You bought us a house... I couldn’t be happier.”

You had no clue he did this. He put such thought into it! He even roped Naruto in to help him renovate and make it pretty to surprise you. It was a tad odd to think Jiraiya is going to be here in one place. He’s always been on the go for his whole life. Now he’s going to be here with you. In a big beautiful house. The ideal spot for having a family. He has no where else he would rather be. The idea of settling down and living out the ideal family dream felt right.

Jiraiya relaxed. He let out a relieved breath and hugged you back. This is the house he saw himself living out the rest of his days with you. He can occupy some of his free time doing something with the bottom level. He has a lot of ideas. Most of them involving some tiny details... many tiny details. Ones that like to run around and play. Ones he can chase around and their laughter will fill the house.

“There’s one room I really want you to see.” He said.

“The bedroom?” You venture a guess with a chuckle.

“Hm..” He smiles and laughs. “It is a bedroom.”

He backs up with his hands dragging down your arms. His fingers hold yours and he backs up to lead you to it. You follow curiously. What did he want to show you? He looks nervous. You offer him a smile. He returns it. But honestly... this is making him anxious. Again, it’s another ballsy move that could go amazing or he could have just started this marriage on a terribly awkward note. He stopped in front of a closed door. He motioned for you to open it. He’s blushing rather heavily and the anxiety was getting easy to read in his expression.

You open the door and take the room in. You gasp at the sight. It’s... a nursery. With things you recognize. Naruto’s old baby blankets were folded by his refurbished crib in the corner of the room. Some of his old baby jumpers and onesies were placed on top of a small dresser. There’s one picture with Minato and Kushina holding their newborn and looking so happy. Beside it is the one picture you managed to get of you, Naruto, and Jiraiya together on there as well. With you smiling brightly in that picture, but there’s bags under your eyes. Jiraiya is holding the fussy looking toddler in his arms and forcing a smile to the camera, his hair messy and eyes bloodshot from being up the night previous to help you with Naruto. He was just as cranky as the baby was that day but finally caved and put on a smile since you’ve been asking for a picture with him for months. He could never really say no to you. When he found it while packing up the apartment... he realized he wanted that with yours and his own baby. It all sorta fell into place when he realized how much he could salvage to make a nursery.

You wander in to get a better look. Jiraiya stays at the door watching you and letting you take it in uninterrupted. There’s new stuff as well. A mobile dangling on the head of the crib that had little painted cartoon toad heads that you can easily recognize as some of Jiraiya’s summons. A rocking chair by the crib outfitted with a soft looking blanket that was perfect for swaddling a little one or placing on the shoulders of a sleepy mother or father. A small book shelf with children books tucked into the shelves. A simple wooden chest that had “toys” scribed on it in very familiar handwriting. There’s already an array of stuffed animals sitting on it. On the far wall was a small twin bed suited for a growing child or their parents to crash on. It doesn’t have any sheets on it yet. All of it is very gender neutral in colours. Perfect to host either a little boy or a little girl. And with a few tweaks it could be easily suited for either.

“I uh... didn’t want to buy anything else until we knew the gender.” Jiraiya explained. He can feel his face getting warmer.

Of course now it hits him that you and him haven’t even really talked about babies. Everything has been moving so fast. You and him have been together for only half a year. And well... half of that time has been practice runs for making babies. He really wants kids. He assumed you want them too. He didn’t let anyone else work on this room because of that. He wanted it to be a solo project to really show you how serious he is about this. That and he didn’t want Naruto to freak out. Jiraiya himself still isn’t sure if this surprise was heartwarming or creepy.

“I know you just finished raising Naruto.” Jiraiya spoke up again, feeling less confident about this whole idea from what looked like a lack of enthusiasm on your end. “And we don’t have to have kids right away. Or er-!” He put his hands up in a stop gesture. “W-We don’t gotta have ‘em at all! We can use this room for other things!” While he does want children, he won’t force you into doing anything you don’t want.

You watch your husband nervously backpedal. He’s stammering on and on about ideas he has for a room like this. He’s red in the face. Heh... dummy. You hug him. He quiets down and holds you. This couldn’t be more perfect and wonderful. You sneak your hands under his kosode and touch his bare skin. You kiss the bottom part of his chest where his pecks meet his ribs.

“There’s nothing more sad than an empty nursery.” You say softly. You look up to meet his eyes. “So let’s fill it.”

Having his children sounds like the perfect next step. You know how good of a father he’s going to be since he did so well with Naruto. Being a mother again and raising a wee babe sounded lovely. There’s something you miss about holding a newborn and comforting them with love and affection. This time you’ll get to do it with the man of your dreams always at your side to help you. Like he always had. Only now it’s with a baby you and him made together. He did such a beautiful job putting the nursery together. It would be a shame not to use it. His face lights up with excitement.

“Then you’re gonna love the room next door!” Jiraiya practically sang as he led the way.

He picked you up off of your feet and carried you like a husband should do for his bride. He kicked open the door to reveal the master bedroom. The large bed is the first thing to greet you. Complete with new bedding that is begging to be broken into. He set you down onto the duvet and crawled over top. You share a loving smile with him as you look at him slowly and he does the same.

He pulled on your obi while he occupied your lips with his kisses. It fell free and the folds of your kimono soon followed. You moan to encourage him to keep going. You arch your back to give him room to unclasp your bra. You lift your arms so he can pull it off. He moves on to kiss the side of your neck while he hooked his fingers around your panties. The edges of his hair tickle your skin as his lips drag down your belly as he pulls you free of the fabric. You sit up, following his lips in a slow arch upwards.

You pull off his haori and kosode. You kiss the start of the scar on his torso. The tip of it sits on his collarbone. He shudders when your finger runs down the main vein of the scar to the impact point on his belly. His bellybutton is so warped it’s practically gone it’s hidden under so much scar tissue. You like drawing attention to it. He doesn’t talk about it. Which means he doesn’t like it. He still hasn’t told you how he got it. You’ve found Jiraiya a few times staring at himself in the mirror. His morning ritual interrupted by his own mind as he stands shirtless in the bathroom. His gaze critical as he observes his body. You like to come up from behind him and put your arms around him. You kiss his shoulder as you hide the concave warped circle in his belly with your hands. To which he smiles at and forgets the bad feelings it causes him. If you like it... he can like it.

You smirk at him and kiss the cut on his face. He’s beautiful no matter how much he doubts himself. Jiraiya’s smile dropped into a gasp when your other hand dives under his pants. He’s already half hard in your grasp. He bites his lip and his hands rub your thighs. You shift to your knees and crawl forward. You pull his stiffening cock out and stroke it until it’s fully erect. You’re turned on and ready. Your body presses against his as you began to sink down to impale yourself on his cock. He holds on tightly and covers your neck and collarbone with kisses. You moan with unison with him as you take the full length of it. You hold rest your arms on his shoulders with your hands weaved together behind his head. You rock your hips and smile at him as he rolls his hips in an opposing pattern to yours. You steal his lips for a kiss. Which holds and stays as you get comfortable in the gentle rhythm.

The opening of the front door made you jump. It echoed around the house. Your husband growled. The annoyance, frustration, and anger was clear in his expression. There’s only one culprit he can think of who would have the distinct timing to absolutely enrage him and deny him the pleasure of making some passionate love with you.

“Auntie! Pervy uncle!” Naruto’s cheery voice echoed around the house.

You yelp when Jiraiya threw you off. The sudden lack of him inside of you was odd and certainly not pleasant. He tucked it back in his pants before getting off of the bed and stomping to the rude teenager. You get off the bed after him and run to stand in the doorway of the bedroom. You watch as Jiraiya picked Naruto up by the scruff like a stray cat who wandered in by accident and toss him back outside. He blocked the door with his body and snarled.

“Go.” He warned darkly.

Naruto immediately whined. He tried moving around Jiraiya to sneak back in. “Whaaa! Come on! I worked hard with you to set up the house! Let me stay the night!”

A vein pops out of Jiraiya’s forehead and he stands firm. Can’t the needy little crap stand one god damn night alone?! “Hell no! You got a whole apartment to yourself!”

Naruto stuck his lip out and looked under Jiraiya’s arm to pout at you. He gives you big eyes he usually gives you when he wants you to pull rank over your partner. But you’re horny. You only got a taste of the rambunctious passionate sex you are gonna get tonight and you want more. Jiraiya looks over his shoulder to look at you. You lean against the door frame biting your lip and your thighs together as you lock eyes with him. He smirks and licks his lips. He’s eager to have you too.

“Sorry Naruto.” You apologize.

Your nephew looks betrayed. Then horrified when your kimono falls further off your shoulder and he realizes you are in a state of undress. Jiraiya turns back around and grins like the devil. He wins this round. He leans in close to whisper, since you don’t approve of him antagonizing Naruto with dirty language.

“If you know what’s good for you, nephew,” Jiraiya hissed the word with a malicious enjoyment. “You’ll beat it so I can fuck my wife. Which I plan to do all night long.”

The words completely deflated Naruto. He didn’t like hearing that. He didn’t like seeing you so aroused. He wasn’t sure if he was hot or cold. His face was doing both at the moment. He wanted to die from embarrassment but also hit Jiraiya for talking about you like that. He opened his mouth to protest further.

The door slammed shut in his face. His nose was a hairline away from being broken by the door. He can see Jiraiya’s face in the small window of the door. That perverted smile the older man gave him was absolutely evil. It was that ‘I’m gonna do terrible things to your aunt and there’s nothing you can do about it’ smile. The lock clicked loudly before Jiraiya retreated into the house and the lights flicked off. Naruto huffed and retreated back to the apartment. He grumbles bitterly about the whole situation and plots to get back at that old perv somehow.

Jiraiya strolled back to the bedroom where his beautiful, sexy, and very horny bride is awaiting him. He ain’t gonna let a little punk like Naruto ruin his fun, especially not on his wedding night! You are residing on the bed facing away from him. You are sitting on your knees with your dress discarded around you. You have your red hair pulled over your shoulder to give him a pleasing view of your back. You look over your shoulder and smile at him. You put your hands on the mattress and lean forward to give him but a taste of the hole eager to take him again.

Oh hell yes. You look phenomenal at this angle. He drops his pants and underwear. He steps out of them and crawls onto the bed. His lips meet your shoulder. His front hits your back. You set your knees to straddle his. You lift yourself up and sink back down on his cock. You moan and your eyes flutter shut from the pleasure. He feels so good!

“Jiraiya... Oh Jiraiya.” Your voice is husky and quiet.

Jiraiya hummed a moan deep in his throat. It felt so long since he’s had you. Like really had you! Your parts barely kissing his before some cock blocking teenager interrupted does not count! The planning and setting up for the wedding had been to exhausting to have any fun. But now... now nothing will interfere with him having you. He holds your hips. He laced your shoulder and neck with kisses. You hold onto his arms and began to move. You lift yourself up slowly before sinking down. It’s a flood of absolute bliss. Every inch and ridge was something you know so well, but it felt so different. But in a good way.

Those lovely lips leave your body as Jiraiya’s head lulls back. It rolls in a circle as his hips rock. He helped you with keeping the rhythm with his hands supporting you. Up... all the way to the head... then down. All the way back down to the base. Your pussy feeling wet and tight all around his dick. His eyes shut. Your skin is warm and soft. You smell so good. He runs a hand up and gropes a breast. Your nipple hard and boob tender. Everything about you is addictive.

“Fuck.” You purr in pleasure. Your head falls back and meets his shoulder. You stroke your hand up his arm, along his neck, then you run your fingers through his beautiful hair. He turns his head and plants a kiss on your lips. “Touch me more.” You moan with your lips a fraction from his.

Jiraiya ran his other hand over your belly. It slid down lower. Your nerves dance when his finger touches your clit. It rubbed slowly over in a circle. It sent shivers up your spine. It urged you to go faster. You speed up. You go faster and faster. His finger accommodates and plays with you faster. Fuck! It’s so good! The pleasure is hitting you from the inside out.

You sink down slowly onto your elbows. Jiraiya moans at the sight and feeling. You look good in all positions, but there’s just something so good about the face down ass up at the moment. You turn your head and play with your hair. He grabs a fistful of your hair. He holds it firmly to keep you down. You cry out when he pins you hard and thrusts hard. The bed rocks and creaks with the force. He leans down over you. He licked and bit at your ear as he fucked you.

“I love you! I love how you feel!” He moaned loudly in your ear.

“Jiraiya please! Ah!” You cry out. “Oh I love you too!”

His finger attacked your clit hard while he ground his hips against you. You dig your hands into the duvet. His hips jerk and he sucks a breath in between clenched teeth as you climax. Once it passed, you amazing husband sat up and flipped you onto your side. He straddled your leg that was against the bed and lifted the other to rest on his shoulder. He held you by the back of the knee.

“You’re a phenomenal woman.” Jiraiya spoke softly. He turned his head towards your knee and put a kiss on it. He began to thrust his hips again. He smiled at you warmly when your mouth opens and eyes close in a silent cry. “How did I get so lucky to get you?” 

You find your voice and moan. You twist your torso to lay on your back. Your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath. You smile the best you can at him as he pleasures you. His gaze slowly looks you up and down. You bite your lip as he looks at you with such affection. Only he looks at you like that and it feels so special. He bends over to be near your face. The angle changed and your knee was now by your face. He holds your lips on his without missing a beat of his hips. You grab onto the back of his head, gripping a fistful of hair.

“And how did I get you?” You ask quietly. You search his eyes, which were lustful and alert to everything you do. “The best man in the whole wide world.”

Very soft chuckles was Jiraiya’s response. His grip on your leg loosened so that it wasn’t contorted to your neck. It fell to his hip and he held it there. The smile dropped a little from his face as he moaned. You feel so good. He could do this forever. He scooped his arm under your hips and lifted you up slightly from the bed. Your back is stuck in an arch. You hold onto him, expecting him to go faster. Your fingers rub against his scalp slowly. But he doesn’t. He shakes his head slowly before going down to close the distance between your lips and his. He wants this to be slower. He’s spent enough time bruising you, it’s time to make it gentler.

Your lips move against his. It’s a slow passionate kiss with your tongue meeting his in the middle. You cradle his head with your palms behind his ears and fingers spread out. Jiraiya runs his hand from your thigh slowly up your body. He runs up your side all the way to your arm before sliding under to support you along your spine and neck. He holds your head, his fingers spreading over your scalp. Your hair is soft. It looks so nice spread out over the pillow. He loves touching it whenever he can.

The kiss is forced to break when both you and him inhale sharply. It’s only for a moment before they connect again. Your fingers seize and grip his hair. He does the same with a fistful of your hair. The sensation is building again. He knows you’re close and he’s not far behind.

“With me...” He whispered as his forehead pressed against yours. His eyes are shut and his brows furrowed in concentration. “Do it with me.”

“Yes...” You agree quietly. Your voice barely audible.

You tilt your head with his guidance and go back in for another kiss. You’re already teetering on the edge. Jiraiya must be as well. His thrusts change to jerk all the way against you and pausing before pulling back. It hits and rubs against that spot inside of you that sends shivers up your body. You utter his name quietly before going completely stiff. He’s voice staggers on your name and finishes on a whine. He buries his hips against yours.

It’s stiff and silent for several seconds as you and your husband milk the sensation for as long as possible. It ripples up your body and he shudders from the feeling. No one breathes for a while. Your joints stay locked in the same position for the duration of the most sensational climax you experienced.

When it’s passed, you feel light. Like you could float on water. It’s almost peaceful. Jiraiya gently sets you down flat on the mattress before retreating to lay beside you. He sighs happily. All the tension had disappeared from his body. Only you do that for him. You turn him into putty that would be easy to misshape in your warm hands. But you never do. You bring him up and make him feel good. You always have done that. From giggling at his jokes to calling him handsome as you pay attention to his flaws. It’s one of the many reasons he loves you so much. No one has ever made him feel so good.

You turn your head towards him. He’s on his stomach with his head turned towards you. He smiles and reaches out. The back of his relaxed fingers run down your cheek. Once his fingers reach your jaw, he flips his hand over to properly cradle your cheek. So soft... so beautiful. It’s like he’s married some sort of angel. One tailored to complete him. Your eyes are soft and sparkling with happiness as you stare at him with a content smile.

“I love you!” You tell him jovially.

“I love you too.” Jiraiya was more subdued and quiet.

You cuddle under the comfortable blankets with him. The new bed was a little firm, but it’s very cozy. The whole house is cozy. It’s wonderful. So wonderful you don’t leave it for a week. Neither does he. You and him take that time to break in all of the furniture. It was the best honeymoon ever. Just some quality one on one time with the man you love in your forever home. With no clothes and enough accidental public nudity to make the neighbours shy to look in your windows anymore.

A week after that, something felt odd. Just that weird feeling that something was a little off where there is usually consistency. On a hunch you bought a pregnancy test. Your excited cheering from the bathroom alerted Jiraiya. He walked in only to be tackled by you. You pressed your lips against his in a clumsy kiss before pulling back and showing him the result. His eyes went wide, he grinned even wider. He picked you up in a tight hug and span you around. The combined laughter of yours and his filled the house as the joy was too much to contain. It was all too perfect! That nursery won’t be empty for long!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo was the nursery a cute idea or what? 
> 
> I kno I keep saying that this scenario in particular can be wrapped up neatly at every part and we can just stop and assume but I would be open to the idea of writing the cute baby stuff for another part if y’all interested. I think it would be fun! Especially since there would quite the rivalry to do things for pregnant reader from our two favourite boys! Also open if you guys wanna decide the gender or let me just roll with it I got plenty of ideas lmao.


	32. Memory Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’ve suffered a horrible head injury. Your memory is lost. The man in front of you is doing everything he can to get those memories back, because he’s in every single one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer, you and Jiraiya are about 24-26 in this scenario.

It’s been a month. A month of waiting and agonizing. Of being worried to death. Jiraiya hardly left your room. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want you to wake up alone. It’s the least he can do! You were in the hospital because of him. Guilt ate at his conscience. He failed to protect you and you got injured. That thought won’t leave his mind.

It was so fast he wasn’t sure what happened. You were suddenly off your feet and flying back. You landed head first into a boulder. Your head was split open and blood was everywhere. It killed Jiraiya that he couldn’t get to you. He was locked in battle and couldn’t step back to help you. He got a few unnecessary injuries because he was so distracted. He kept looking back to you, it gave the enemy the opportunity to get a good hit on him. But he didn’t care. Your body limp on the ground and your blood staining everything around you. Seeing you there like that filled him with dread. The second he won the battle, he booked it to your side.

You’ve been in a coma ever since. It has been the most taxing experience of Jiraiya’s life. You won’t wake up no matter what he tried. He carried you to the hospital, stopping often to check on you. But you hung like a rag doll on his back. Limp and weak. Your breathing shallow against his ear. The sick feeling of your warm blood soaking his shoulder petrified him. He’s terrified of what’s going to happen to you. A head injury like that is no small thing.

Will you wake up? No one is telling him a definitive answer. They don’t look hopeful when they offer sympathetic smiles. Jiraiya spent his days at your bedside. He milked his injuries to stay in care for as long as he could so he didn’t have to leave. People kinda let it happen, they know him well enough to know he’d just break into your room after visiting hours anyways. He watched you for any sort of movement at all hours. He loves you too much to give up. He won’t ever give up! He won’t lose hope or leave you alone in this place! That hope grew tenfold when he held your hand and when he squeezed it, you squeezed back. It was little. A small little squeeze. But it was a reaction god damn it and he’ll rock with it.

That reaction got him so excited. You’ll wake up! You had to. He held your hand all the time. He stroked your hair, squeezed your hand, and spoke quietly to you. But you didn’t react further. It feels bad. What was the last thing you said to him? He can’t even remember. It felt like decades ago. It’s only been thirty days and he missed you so much. Your banter. Your smile. The way you laugh. How you look at him while laying in bed. Your eyes sparkle and the cute blush on your cheeks.... sigh. He looked your face. Your eyes closed and expression neutral like you were in a very deep sleep. It’s just not the same. It’s not like when he wakes up next to you and you’re still asleep.

Sleep.... he could use some.

Jiraiya acquired an odd sleeping pattern since this whole thing happened. He woke up sporadically throughout the night. He slept in the uncomfortable chair beside your bed. Often times it just felt like his brain switched back on and he would startle awake to check on things.

Are you okay? His brain immediately asked. He looked around frantically while his eyes adjusted to the low lighting.

Yes... yes you’re fine. Just comatose. He would stay awake for a few hours, just making sure you’re okay before falling back asleep. During these times he fixes your pillow and blanket. He combs your hair and kissed your cheek. But nothing ever changes in your neutral face. Jiraiya rests his head on the stiff feeling mattress of the hospital bed. Why do these things suck? It’s like sleeping on lumpy cardboard. He tucked his arm under his cheek to pillow it a little. It’s barely better, but he does drift off. His hand never leaving your hand. He just had to hold it. That bit of physical presence put him at ease enough to take a nap.

Hours later, he began to come to. It’s not so startled and frantic. Something grounds him to be calm. A simple thing he’s used to waking up to. Gentle fingers are running through his hair. Pushing the strands back away from his face. It’s familiar and comforting. Like he’s waking up in bed at home. Jiraiya flexed his hand, only yours wasn’t in his. He sat up quickly and opened his eyes. Relief filled him.

“You’re awake!” He sighed out his stress. “I was beginning to think you wouldn’t.”

You smile. It’s polite and lacks something he can’t quite place. You look him over slowly. You lick your dry lips.

“Who.... who are you?” You ask quietly.

All his relief was replaced with dread. He stared at you dumbfounded for several seconds. You tilt your head in confusion.

“You’re just joking right?” Jiraiya asked as he stood up. He rubbed his tired eyes and a headache was beginning to form behind them. “You have to be joking!”

“I.... I’m sorry uh...” You shake your head. You watch him in a daze. Your head hurt too. “I don’t know you?...”

“Yes you do!” He snapped impatiently. He’s waited for so long and this is what he gets? How could this happen? This felt cruel. Like some sort of vengeful god was pointing at him and laughing at his misfortune. He grabbed your hand and waved it in front of you. He pointed to the band around your ring finger. “I’m your husband! We’ve been together for years!”

Never before has he been so frustrated. How can you not remember!? Tears began to well in your eyes as you stare at him. You don’t like seeing this man upset. You shake your head.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry I don’t remember you!” You tear your hand away from him and cover your eyes to cry. “I don’t remember anything!”

It’s a terrible feeling. Every time you look at that man, you feel something. It’s hard to know what. It’s almost recognition. But you can’t quite piece it together. It’s like it’s stuck on the tip of your tongue, but your memory blanks at the last minute. But you look at him and feel smitten. He’s handsome. He’s passionate. And he must love you a lot. He’s distraught about the whole thing.

“I won’t give up on you!” Jiraiya promised. He clutched onto your hand and looked you in the eyes with a fierce determination. “We’ll get all your memories back!”

When you felt comfortable on your feet, Jiraiya took you away. He held your hand tightly as he escorted you around town. He spoke to you quietly about certain locations. He would pull you close and keep his voice low. You would listen intently. You feel so comfortable in his presence. You trust him. His voice is nice to listen to. The way he smiles as he recalls certain memories was so wistful and lovely. A light blush would take his cheeks when he spoke of more intimate things. He’s great company to have. You may not have any recollection of this person, but you feel like he’s someone you always have known. You feel at peace and comfortable when he talks to you. You find you like to rest your head on his arm and listen to his every word.

He stopped in front of a school first. It’s an old looking building. With floods of children filing out for the day. You continue to look over the details of the building, trying to drag up any memory. He took you around back where there was small posts with targets painted on them. They are well used with nicks and dents from throwing weapons. There’s even a few needles still stuck in the wood.

“You and I met you here.” Jiraiya explained. He gestured to the dusty little plot of land.

“How?” You ask.

“Well...” He began to laugh.

Jiraiya began to tell the tale of you and him as children. As he explains, you can visualize the memory with details he didn’t mention. The image of a lanky six year old in front of you. His white hair messy and sticking out in every direction. His dark eyes sparkling with mockery and ignorant superiority. His arms crossed and his chin raised in defiance. He had on a white kimono with red and green details... he wore it for years. His smirk filled you with rage. You were mad at him. You yelled and launched yourself at him. You tackled him to the ground and got a good punch in on his face before he could retaliate. Where it turned into a fistfight surrounded by your peers cheering at the prospect of a good rumble. Oh goodness! You got into a full blown fight with this man when you and him were children!

“Why was I mad at you?” You ask him with a small smile.

“I told you that girls can’t fight... So you beat the crap out of me.” Jiraiya smiles fondly as he remembered it so clearly.

He sported quite the shiner on his eye for like a week after that. He wore it proudly. Because you proved him wrong. He never tattled on you either. He sat in the office for hours trying to convince the head teacher that he hit himself in the face with the swing out front. Which was an excuse that didn’t go well, but he just smiled widely at the unimpressed adults around him like the innocent angel he totally was. Because honestly, he really liked you and didn’t want to get you in trouble.

Even as a kid, Jiraiya knew you were someone special. Your friendship was so precious to him and he held onto you ever since the day you gave him a good whack to the face. It beat some sense into him. Through thick and thin, you were the person he went to with his problems. Any woman willing to deck him in the face to prove a point was a woman of wonders. You give it to him straight. It’s one of the many reasons he loves you.

Your smile grows. You squeeze Jiraiya’s hand and ask him to take you somewhere else. He nodded. He led you around the happy looking village. With people who offered you smiles as you passed them. He took you to a training ground. It was a clear grassy field with a river running through it. There was three worn looking wooden posts stuck in the ground in the middle of it. To your surprise, he stopped under one of the trees that lined the perimeter. It has little scuffs and nicks from weapons. It even has an old scar on it from what looks like fire. He led you around the tree and he pointed out some crude looking carvings along the trunk. As kids you and him sat around the tree after he had a terrible day with his team. You did what you could to cheer him up in your own way. You taught him how to carve out shapes. The best he could do was his name and yours carved in the middle of a crude sharp cornered heart. He used to chase you around the trunk in circles. Then later up and around in the branches like squirrels with the aid of chakra. You’d burst into giggles with him when he caught you.

He tended to come to this tree whenever he was upset when he was a teenager. You would find him and join him. For a long time it was simply just enjoying each other’s company. You’d listen to his problems and he’d listen to yours. He so fondly remembers just sitting with you with your head on his shoulder for hours. The warm days of simply relaxing with the girl he’s in love with. The tingles in his scalp when you play with his hair. The jitters that went up his arm when his fingers brushed against yours. When you looked at him his breath was stolen. He knew he was head over heels for you, but he just needed that moment. Then one day...

“We had our first kiss here.” He explained while nervously rubbing the back of his neck. He looked over the area with a fond smile. It had so many good memories. But this one was one of his favourites.

To your surprise, Jiraiya picked you up by your waist and set you in between the fork of a set of low hanging branches in the tree. He closed you in by bracing his hands on the branches above you and he stepped on a knot on the trunk to use as a stepping stone. It lifted him up slightly and his face was tilted up towards yours. Your heart pounded as his lips were a fraction from yours.

“It went something like this.” He whispered before closing the distance.

It was a gentle kiss. Almost shy and unsure. It was his first kiss ever, same with you. His lips are soft and a little wet. It’s pleasant. His lips feel right against yours. When he pulls back, you swear he looks different. Younger. The markings on his face smaller, only to the beginning of his cheekbones rather than a few inches longer like they currently are. You can see him in one of those grey uniforms that you’ve seen others wear. Along with the imprinted metal forehead protector that every ninja wears. It clinked with yours when you flinched forward with the intent to kiss him again but you missed. It just felt so good! And right! Gosh it just made you all red! Jiraiya kissed you! He blushed and gave you that funny looking lopsided grin.

“Did you like that? Or do I have to do that again?” He asked in confidence.

Jiraiya repeated the exact same words in the present. Only quieter, more intimate. His face near yours as he looks you in the eyes. They’re searching for any sort of familiarity. You caress and hold his face. He relaxes and holds your cheek before going back in. You press your lips against his again. It felt good. It was familiar.

“I like kissing you, Jiraiya.” You said softly. You trace the shape of his lips as you spoke. “I think we do this a lot.”

Jiraiya nodded slowly. He’ll accept that as you remembering something. The way you’re looking at him wasn’t so blank anymore. He picked you up and took you to a new spot. It’s best to keep the ball rolling. He lead the way to the top of the building. From it, you could see the whole village. The streets were busy. There was lots of activity. But it had an air of calm peacefulness. Like there was nothing to worry about if you lived here.

“Do you know where we are?” Jiraiya asked you.

He was standing beside you, facing the streets as well. His eyes followed certain people with a smile. You look around. But it’s not ringing any bells. You shake your head slowly.

“We’re on top of the Hokage’s estate.” He explained. He squeezed your hand. The smile on his face turned wistful again. “About four years ago, we had a date here. It was dusk...”

Jiraiya needed some comfort. He was upset... upset about something. He was asked to do something important, but he refused. More or less, he impromptu asked you to meet him there with the strongest alcohol you could find. His number one cure all was you and some saké. He cracked it open the moment you showed up and you stood beside him passing the bottle back and forth. The sound of his finger tapping on the bottle was clear in your mind. His expression was firm and restrained to be neutral, but he was upset. You knew that, you can read him so well. You mostly stood in silence with him watching the sun crest over the Hokage Monument. You rested your head on his shoulder and linked your arm with his. The comforting presence was enough for him. You were more than enough for him. He suddenly smiled and chuckled about something. The moment couldn’t be more perfect.

“I have something I want to ask you.” He started off softly.

A jolt of excitement hit your chest. You gave him your undivided attention. This question was a long time coming and you knew it. You bounce on your feet and can’t contain your excitement. He was blushing all the way to the tips of his ears. He let out a deep breath of air to steady his nerves before opening his mouth to speak again.

“Will you-!” Jiraiya couldn’t even finish the question as you tackled him into a hug.

“Yes!” You shouted because you couldn’t contain how excited you were.

“Whoa! You could have at least let me say it!”

The memory makes you smile. You were too excited that day to let him finish. He was dropping hints about his intentions for months! You couldn’t wait! But now... You squeeze Jiraiya’s hand to get his attention. He looked at you curiously.

“You could do it again... I’ll let you say it this time.” You joke a little.

Jiraiya laughed. He grabbed your left hand. How strange. He gets a second opportunity to propose to his wife. At the same place. He can do it how he always wanted. Not that he ever regretted how he asked, but he always wished he was a better romantic. He seized the moment when he did ask. This seems just as nice. Maybe better. He slowly lowered himself to one knee. You can’t look away from his eyes. His shine with a love so captivating that it’s impossible to take your gaze off of them.

“Will you marry me?” He asked.

“Of course I will!” You answer with a smile.

Jiraiya stood back up and wrapped his arms around you. His head rested against yours. He feels better. Your memory is coming back. It’s working! It feels so good that you aren’t so lost anymore. It feels like he’s holding his wife again. Not someone who doesn’t remember him. You aren’t tense and uncomfortable with the unfamiliarity of him. Because he is familiar.

“You remember?” He asked quietly.

“Yes... I remember that. Can we keep going?” You ask. You play with his hair. The action felt like second nature. Stoking the long bangs that rest on the side of his head. Curling a section around your finger as you speak to him. Tucking them out of the way behind his ears to show off the rest of that pretty face. It feels natural to do these things. “Show me more.”

“As you wish!” He was more excited now.

You follow with more enthusiasm as Jiraiya led the way to a new spot. It was lost in a far corner of the village where a training ground once was. It was overtaken by nature. A large old tree that was surrounded by flowers and bushes. With wide branches that spread out over into it’s neighbouring trees. A little path was barely spotted in the dirt that lead to the tree. It was cozy. It was beautiful. A comfortable nook of greenery. The area smelt sweet from the wild flowers that were blooming. Jiraiya smiles and grabs both your hands. You face him as the canopy of the tree covered you and him from the sun. The branches had little purple flower buds that had not yet bloomed. Spots of the light broke through the leaves to speckle his face in light. It felt so familiar....

“What did we do here?” You ask in a quiet voice.

Jiraiya moved his hands up to your cheeks. He held your face and smiled. “Last year.... after I got back from...” he hesitates. His expression falls for a moment before picking back up the the gentle smile he had on. “Fighting. It was summer.” He explained quietly. “We met here after three years of being apart.”

Oh yes! That’s right. You and him ran around Konoha looking for each other. After three years of being apart the need to be together was so intense. You’d miss him just by that much. Literally by a fraction you’d walk by, he’d be around the corner going in the opposite direction. It was almost felt deliberate the way fate kept you apart from your fiancé. You were crestfallen when you couldn’t find him after going through the whole village. You blindly wandered into this abandoned corner of the village, feeling drawn to the isolated and peaceful atmosphere. You stared at this old tree, admiring the blossoms. You reached for the blooming lilacs, there was something so beautiful about the little flowers that always drew you in. They were pretty and smelt great. The sight of them always put you at ease.

Then it all fell into place. There was a crash and a thud. You turned around and Jiraiya was there. He was frazzled and frantic looking. With messy hair and dirty clothing. He didn’t stop until he found you. The moment he left for Konoha, he never stopped. He ran for days just to see you quicker. After a moment of bewildered eye contact, he ran to you at full speed and hugged you tightly. Ever since then, you’ve been inseparable from him.

You shut your eyes and you can feel it. Not just that moment of being in his arms again but something else entirely. Something just as joyful, warm, and loving. The sweet sent of lilac filled your nose. The petite pale purple blossoms were in full bloom. They decorate the tree in their soft colour. They framed Jiraiya’s head as he was standing under the branches. The bright sun shining on his face in speckles as the flowers cut most of it out. He’s smiling, but some anxiety was under his calm facade. He was nervous, but played it off so cool as to not freak you out. Or that’s what he told himself.

He was in the dark garb of a groom. The flowing fabric of a haori hakama set suited him. It was so different from what he usually wore. It made his most attractive features stick out, which is all of him. With the little bit of colour being his red markings. It was very pretty. His hair was half up and half down. With a lazy loose braid holding his bangs out of his face and the rest freely falling down his back. The relaxed hair style was rather cute on him. He even put some flowers in his hair at your request. There were shallow cuts on his hand... because he fashioned a flower crown out of the lilacs. It was falling apart throughout the whole ceremony, but he was so proud of it he wore it all day.

Man... it was hard to breath in all those layers. The many layers of a bride’s kimono was not suited for a summer wedding. Half the time you were worried you would pass out from heat stroke. If the nerves didn’t make you faint first. The most secure thing on you was your hair. Your own crown of lilacs weaves into your locks and that shit wasn’t going anywhere. But you had your fiancé to hold onto. Your hands almost white knuckled and sweaty as they held onto his. He squeezed them occasionally as if to remind you he was there. He’ll always be there.

“I do.” You whispered.

“I do too.” Jiraiya said just as quietly.

Did others have to hear? All that mattered was that you heard it and Jiraiya heard it. The world had never felt so small. But in a good way. No one else existed in that moment. Just you and your husband to be. The peace and beauty of a gorgeous small summer wedding surrounded you and him.

“I pronounce you man and wife!” A proud older man announced. He beamed as he finished the vows. He was very proud of his students. Hiruzen.... his name is Hiruzen. He’s Jiraiya’s teacher. He’s someone important to you and your husband. He’s helped you almost as much as he helped Jiraiya. He patted Jiraiya’s arm and gestured to you with a motion of his hand. “You may kiss the bride.”

Jiraiya laughed before grabbing you and dipping you almost to the ground. He kissed you passionately while holding you firmly against him. You had your hands holding onto the back of his neck for a firm grip. The small crowd of invited guests began to whoop. It grew in volume and hype when you wrapped a leg around his waist and his hand grabbed your butt. He broke the kiss with a smile and he brought you back up.

“Now let’s get to the party!” You remember Tsunade yelled in full enthusiasm. She was probably half cut already.

The sound of your friends and family cheering in agreement was still ringing in your ears. Heh those clowns. Always down for a party. The whole night was a blur after that. The mix of nerves and alcohol made it a slurry of a memory. But you remember having fun. The waking up in the late afternoon with your clothing disheveled and limbs tangled with Jiraiya’s. Twigs and lilac blossoms sticking out of his bedhead. Where you then spent the day doing absolutely nothing with him, hungover and happy. You picked the flowers out of his hair while he couldn’t look away from you. He’s smiling happily while you take care of him. He held you against him in a tight hug and kissed you. He rolled over and his hand ran down your arm before reaching to hold your hand. He squeezed and held your hand as he occupied your mouth with his. The feeling of your new wedding band being squished between his fingers just stood out in your mind.

You trace the wedding band on Jiraiya’s finger. It was worn from getting into battles. Scuffed and dull with wear. He always got so bummed out about it when he noticed it had more damage. There’s a deep groove in the band from when he deflected a blade. And scratches that wore it down flat on the front of his hand were he gripped the ground to get traction after being knocked back. But it held together.

It’s not like yours was any better. You had scuffs and scratches on your wedding band just like he does. It’s barely a year old but it was a true testimony to your vows. You promised to fight by his side and you keep that promise. It was that promise that got you into this position. But... it was either take that hit for him or watch him suffer with a worse injury. The battle was coming back to you. You pushed him out of the way and he didn’t even know. He won’t ever know. Jiraiya will only get upset and angry if he knew you did that for him. He always said the worst torture was seeing you hurt. But seeing him injured was just as torturous for you. This whole thing was hard on him as well as you.

But it’s okay now! You have your memories coming back to you. You intertwine your fingers with his, the matching rings side by side. A little damaged, but never broken. You have your life back. You have your husband back. Unsure what to do, a small laugh comes out your throat. The tears follow. It’s not like it’s sad. But you just felt overwhelmed.

“Whoa now! It’s okay!” Jiraiya instantly went to comfort you. He kissed your cheek, catching a tear with his lips. “Don’t cry! This wasn’t meant to make you cry.” He covered your cheek in kisses and hushed you with his words. “Please don’t cry.”

“No! No sorry.” You wipe your eyes and hold him. “These are happy tears!” You laugh as he kisses along your jaw and neck. It tickled a little and felt so good. “I remember so much! We got married here!”

“Yes! Yes we did! Almost a year ago!” He was emotional as well. Laughing the same happy but sad laugh that you were laughing. He just wanted to drown you in affection. It felt like he was newly in love with you again. Where every kiss and touch was exciting. His wet kisses banishing your tear tracks into imprints of his lips.

“I love you!” You can’t control your weeping. You gently hold his cheek and guide his face up to kiss him. You kept uttering the words between each kiss to his lips. It felt like one kiss from him brought back the memory of a thousand previous ones.

“I love you too! Fuck I thought I lost you!” Jiraiya’s voice hitched to a higher note as he lost his composure. His eyes clenched shut as he felt the wave of emotion.

He was so scared. He didn’t know what he would do if he lost you. The empty lost husk of his wife. It’s too hard to even think about. The short time you held no recollection of him was horrible enough. A life time of that would destroy him. He’s known you all his life, it would feel weird without you in it. It would be like you died but worse. Like having a part of himself broken off and missing. He’d be forced to watch you struggle to find your identity and failing to do so. The pain and frustration of it all would be truly one of the worst things he would ever had to deal with. His best friend and wife gone forever... He couldn’t stand it.

But you remember! He sniffles and clung onto you. You were squeezed into his embrace. His hand held the back of your head, holding a fistful of your hair as he pressed your head against his shoulder. You’re his wife you’ve seen him cry before, but he hated having you see it. You listen and feel his heavy breathing as he tried to get ahold of himself. You don’t enjoy hearing it. He’s upset because of your memory loss. It would have been horrible to not remember such precious things you’ve shared with him. Some things are still a little fuzzy. But whatever fuzzy memory comes to life, he’s always in it. He was always there. He was just.... Jiraiya.

Jiraiya, that stuck up kid in the playground. Jiraiya, your best friend. Jiraiya, your dorky boyfriend. Jiraiya, your even dorkier husband. He loves you. He protects you. He knows how to make you laugh. He held you when you cried. He kissed you to make you feel better. The way he smiles right after breaking away was such a pure and instant reaction. It never failed to make you smile. He’s just... you know... Jiraiya! Jiraiya, the one and only man you love.

You kiss up the side of his jaw. You hush him with your lips by his ear before speaking again. “It’s okay! You can’t get rid of me that easily.” You joke lightly and ended it with another kiss to his cheek.

A weak chuckle was his response. “Yeah that much I know. Seriously, babe!” Jiraiya stood up straight and hid his tears with a wide smile. “You’re obsessed with me!”

“I’m addicted to you, honey!” You cheer with your arms in the air. You hug onto his neck and pull yourself up to kiss him again.

You felt Jiraiya smile against your lips before he returned to kissing you. He backed you up until your back hit the tree. His tongue ran along your lips, begging to breach past them. When you open your mouth your tongue is eager to greet his. He doesn’t stop until you’re breathless.

“Let’s celebrate!” Jiraiya cheered. He snuck his hands under your pants and grabbed your butt. “Do you remember how I am in bed?”

You smirk. Jiraiya is the only man you’ve had and there’s no way you could forget. But it won’t be fun if you just tell him that. You know the perverted games he loves to play. You make a face as if you were in deep thought. You hum as you tap your chin as you searched for an answer. You gasp with a realization and smile at him cheekily.

“I think I need a refresher! I’m having trouble remembering.” You say with a suggestive smile and a flirty wiggle of your eyebrows.

Oh ho! That’s his girl. You giggle as Jiraiya sinks down to the ground and pins you underneath him. Why not a rump at the place he married you? Seems like a good way to give back. To repay whoever god he has to for giving you back. He was so close to losing you and he won’t ever let it happen again. He ripped your shirt off and licked his lips. You grin and bite your lip. He’s got a lot to remind you of!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lilacs are a symbol of one’s first love! When I that out I kinda rolled with it for the wedding. That and comfortable summer vibes. Also really wanted to write a childhood sweethearts situation.


	33. The Kiss of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You watch from the door as the man you love continues to die from his injuries despite his treatments. You can’t help but wonder if you can take his place... even if it ends your life. 
> 
> WARNING: Blood, injury, death of the reader, reader got depression, mentions of suicide, tragedy. Bad times all around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I think we’ve been having too many good times. 
> 
> So enjoy a bad fucking time!
> 
> This is right after the Pain fight and based of those injuries so have fun.

It was hard to watch. You stand in the doorway of the hospital, silently watching the scene before you. Tsunade sitting on the ledge of Jiraiya’s bed. She’s rubbing her face and took in a deep breath. She’s barely keeping it together. Not that you blame her. It is difficult to watch someone you love die. You know that pain too. Because... you love Jiraiya too.

For most of your life, you’ve been in love with him. There’s just something about Jiraiya that has you smitten. He’s kind, smart, brave, funny, and handsome. What’s there not to love? But... it’s so complicated. You know he loves someone else... and you love what you have with him as his friend. You never wanted to ruin that relationship by confessing. Because you know he would reject you and it would hurt too much. You probably won’t be able to face him again from both embarrassment and the pain of rejection.

You never felt good enough. You aren’t good enough. Jiraiya couldn’t love someone like you. You don’t feel pretty enough. You aren’t on the level of the women he asks out... nor the woman he’s already in love with. You aren’t strong or brave like her either. You don’t have any talents aside from being an alright healer. Jiraiya deserves better than some loser like you.

You were the person he relied on for certain things. He always came to you when he needed someone to talk to. He said it was just easy to talk to you. The most agonizing instance of that need for comfort is when he just clung onto you when Tsunade married Dan. He asked you if you knew how it felt to see someone you love happy with someone else. Oh the sweet irony. You did... and it hurt. He just looks naturally good with Tsunade. They seem perfect for one another. They’ve pined for each other for years and it’s not fair that it never happened.... But they seem close. There’s nothing like a near death experience to give them a push to be together. And what you have in mind will spare you the pain of seeing them together. It would be too hard to live without him anyways.

Tsunade stands. She’s had enough of crying over him. It’s time to come up with solutions. You scoot and hide behind the wall when she turns around. She leaves the room and her eyes meet yours. You are locked in a staring match with her for several moments. You and her have never gotten along well. To her, you were always the quiet one who never really pushed for anything. The one and only time you got competitive was your career as a medic. It was the only time your nature came to an advantage. Your quiet and calculating way of handling things honed in well in emergency medical situation. It’s why you’re are where you are, but it doesn’t exclude you from her criticism. She’s been extra short and curt with you as the lead in charge of this floor. You understand, because the man she loves is dying. Her lips flatten into a tight line. She turns quickly on her heel and walks down the hall.

You slide into the room and shut the door. The situation is bleak. With every passing second, Jiraiya is still inching closer to death. He’s just not recovering. His wounds are so severe and so many that’s it’s hard for his body to handle. He’s got several open wounds that are still bleeding, but are sewn shut and wrapped with gauze. Organs are pierced which is adding more problems. His throat is crushed and his arm was forcibly amputated. It’s honestly amazing that he’s made it this far. But he’s too weak for surgery. Any attempts would probably kill him the moment he goes under anesthesia.

The best that has been done was several healers using jutsu to heal some of the internal wounds. Which was mainly focused on his lungs so he can breathe better. One was collapsed and the other was filled with water when he came in. Now they are clear and inflated as they should be. But it’s not looking much better. He hasn’t woken up. He throws up blood in his coma occasionally, hinting to more internal injuries that may have been missed in the hast.

It would’ve been too dangerous to keep him on the table without a proper analysis of his injuries with no monitoring. Especially because of all his blood loss. He would have just continued to hemorrhage. It was a tough call, but you decided it would be safer to get his blood count back up and lungs strong before attempting anymore treatments. Plus your staff had worked tirelessly for hours to get him to the point he’s at now. They would be of no use if their minds were too exhausted to do their jobs correctly. One mistake in this type of scenario could snuff out a life in a second. It’s already a miracle he’s still alive. Pushing that too far could end up killing him after all that hard work. There is only so much a body can take at a time. He is sorta stable at the moment. With machines monitoring every little change in his body. Any significant change will alert the system to call a doctor in. Which is good enough until a permanent solution is available. He’s already gone code blue once and was still recovering from that.

You sit on the edge of the bed by Jiraiya’s hip. It’s the best position to look him over. He looks sickly and grey. But his face is relaxed in his slumber. He looks rather peaceful. You find yourself reaching out. You caress his cheek. It’s a little cold. He lacks the warmth of health and life. His eyes twitch ever so slightly when you touch him so softly. You push strands of his hair out of his face. You wipe the remains of blood off of his chin. But he won’t wake up.

But you can help. There’s one thing you can do. A power you have made in your spare time. It’s a true equal exchange. It’s quite simple, to be honest. Probably anyone could do it, so it’s not that special. You exchange your healthy cells to take on the damaged ones of a patient. It’s something to be saved and used for emergencies for close to death cases. Kinda like this.

It feels like the right thing to do. Your life for Jiraiya’s. He’s much more valuable than you are. There’s plenty he’s left behind and left unfinished. He deserves that second chance. Not just for himself, but for the people that love him. He has so much to live for. What have you done in your life worth such a chance? Nothing really. You want to save his life. He’s your best friend. You love him.

With a tired sigh, you lean over him and rest your forehead on his. You shut your eyes. It felt so right to do this. To be this close. If only you could do this everyday. It would have been nice to wake him up with such a sweet gesture every morning. You’re but a hairline away from kissing him.

“I’ll miss you.” You whisper.

The heart monitor beeped in distress. You look up at it to see his blood pressure had dropped. He’s close to crashing for a second time. His heart is just unable to handle the stress of pumping blood to his traumatized body. It’s now or never.

The timing is spot on to perfect. Most of the employees on this floor are on break after stabilizing him. Some are even asleep in the break room after exhausting their chakra to piece his major organs together again. The rest are checking on patients. You gave special instructions saying you would be in charge of Jiraiya’s treatment and to leave it all to you. Even if they did come, it would be too late. Which is exactly what you want. 

Life has done nothing but beat you down anyways. Jiraiya was probably the one good thing you had going on. Perhaps... in some kind of way, this was a chance to give back what he’s done for you. If not for him, you probably would have taken your life by now anyways. He gave you the encouragement you needed to become the person you are. But it’s not like that meant much. You don’t think you are all that essential or useful. You’ve struggled for long enough. It’s like struggling to break through water while just under the surface, but you can’t no matter how hard you try. You don’t want to fight for your sad dwindling life anymore. The only thing that was making it worthwhile was dying in front of you. At least your death will be useful.

You kiss his cheek before sitting up. You weave signs to activate it. You rest your hands on his chest. You’ve taken the pain of plenty of patients. You got quite the tolerance for it now. You simply grit your teeth and endure it as Jiraiya’s wounds become your own. It’s for his life. You’d endure a thousand of his injuries to make sure he lives if you have to.

There’s a slight burning sensation in your throat. The slow searing pain of the open wound on his torso engraves into you. Blood blooms through your shirt. There’s added pain to your back and a wet feeling signalling that you’ve successfully taken on the punctures he had there. Your insides feel like they are coiling and cramping as they get torn with the remaining unnoticed injuries. A couple ribs break. The nerves in your left arm begin to die as your body is fooled into believing it was amputated. He won’t grow an arm, but the wound will be shut and no longer by a source of infection as it was before.

Blood rises in the back of your throat. You swallow it down and bite your lip to silence the temptation to cry out. Ideally, you don’t want anyone to be alerted to what you have done. Not for a few hours. You simply want to get up and leave. Maybe find a secluded place where no one will find your body for a few hours. Unfortunately, that’s beginning to feel impossible as you lose more blood and get light headed. But you’ll try.

There’s one thing you want to do before you go. It’s the last thing you’ll ever do. One final selfish act before you die. You just want to know what it’s like. You’ve always wondered. You lean back down. With your live hand you caress his cheek. Your lips press against Jiraiya’s gently.

They’re a bit dry, but it’s still nice. They’re plump, but it’s not too much. Surprisingly, they kiss back. His lips purse. They move and react to yours. Oh. Oh he’s waking up. This is not what you want. You’re supposed to just disappear.

You pull away. Or try to. Jiraiya moved his hand into your hair and kept you pinned against his lips. This was nice. He liked this. The soft lovely lips of a woman against his? How wonderful. He can breathe again and he’s not in excruciating pain anymore. It was like a guardian angel was bringing him back with a kiss of life. The nice taste of the lips against his were tainted slightly with blood. Which was concerning enough to wake him faster.

“Let go.” You whisper with your lips a fraction above his. Tears blur your vision. You hope he doesn’t become anymore awake. You don’t want to face him like this. “Let go of me.”

Jiraiya clung on tighter. Uh uh! He never lets a lovely woman out of his arms. Especially when it’s his best friend. You sound upset. Which is giving him more reason to not let you retreat because he knows he can help. He rolls over and took you with him. You don’t have the strength to fight him. It seems this is your deathbed. And well... it was a familiar habit.

He liked to pick you up and throw you into bed when you were upset. Where he held you under the covers with him to talk. It’s a ritual you started with him as children and it sorta just stuck. There was plenty of nights where he came to your house instead of his own and curled up under the covers with you. He’d fall asleep early but chat with you in the early morning. Or if you lay on his chest with your face against his neck, he usually rolled over and took you with him to cuddle. You would smile and have a sleepy conversation with him while in absolute heaven. But no matter what, he would eventually leave. Which always bore another hole in your heart.

Jiraiya smiled and savoured the feeling for a few seconds. How strange how he’s never given in and kissed you before. That felt as good as he thought it was going to be. He opened his eyes and the smile he had on dropped. He stammered your name. He isn’t sure what to process first.

Blood. There’s so much blood. Why is there so much blood? Why are you bleeding? You shouldn’t be bleeding. You aren’t ever supposed to be bleeding. His hand braces on your chest wound. A sense of horror and fear fills him as your blood just seeps through his fingers. Yet despite how much you bleed, you simply smile at him.

“It’s okay.” Your voice is weak. You comb his hair away from his face. You smile... because it is okay.

“No... no it’s not okay. It’s not!” Jiraiya yelled. He’s afraid and worried. He doesn’t like this. This is terrifying. He grips you tighter out of desperation. Like if he just held you together you’d stay together.

It dawned on him that he’s actually in the hospital. The bright sterile lights and sanitation smell hit his senses once the shock wore of a little. Why are you bleeding out in his hospital bed? Why does it look like you’re alright with this? Without a grimace of pain in your expression. Simply acceptance. But this can’t happen. He won’t let it. He sat up and turned towards the door to yell for help.

You grab his cheek and force him to turn back. You shake your head. “Shhh...” You whisper. You bring yourself forward to steal his lips.

Jiraiya inhales deeply and holds it. Oh god that feels so good. But you’re hurt. He whines and moves his lips against yours in a messy passionate kiss. You taste good! But it’s tainted with the iron like taste of blood. Despite that, he gets lost in the kiss. He’s always wanted to know what it would be like to kiss you. You have a great set of lips he often stares at when you talk. He rolls over until he’s fully overtop of you. His hand sneaks under your back. His fingers meet more warm wet blood.

“Why are you bleeding?” Jiraiya’s voice was quiet and husky. He didn’t want to bring his lips away so they spoke against yours. He presses your body against his. His fingers grip your back tightly when he feels streams of your blood trail down his arm. “Why... is it so much?.. Why is this happening?”

“Don’t worry about it...” You say quietly. It’s unfortunate that he did wake up. But he’s holding you. You wrap your arm around him and cling onto that sensation. It’s always such a good feeling when he holds you. “You’re going to be okay now.”

“What?” He looked at you appalled at what you’re implying. “I don’t want to be okay if you aren’t going to be!”

You shake your head. “I’m sorry.” You kiss him again. “I want you to live.”

“I want you to live too!” He raised his voice. Fear began to set in as your blood has now saturated the bed to his knees. You are going cold and grey. There’s not much time left. You’re really dying before his eyes. He turned back to the door. “Help! I need help in here!”

But the damage to his throat was still fresh. It maybe mostly healed, but he can’t raise his voice like he wants. It comes out cracked and hoarse. It’s followed by painful coughing. It feels like he swallowed a cupful of needles. You rub his back while he has his fit.

Very slowly Jiraiya set you down back onto the bed. He’s still very weak. He can’t hold you anymore despite his need to hold you close. The coughing fit is intense enough to bring tears to his eyes. He coughs hard with his face against your neck. He sniffles back more tears. His best friend is dying and if feels like it’s hopeless. He won’t be able to raise his voice again in this condition.

“Why did you do this?... Why did you save me?” He asked quietly.

Ah... the one question you didn’t want to hear. But he does have a right to know. You lick your lips and swallow back the blood in your throat. “You... have more to live for than me. With people who love you.”

“There’s plenty of people who want that for you.” Jiraiya tried to coax you. Something... anything to convince you to somehow take this back.

“No... no there isn’t.” You shake your head. You pet his head as you speak. “I’ve done nothing worthwhile in my life... except for this. With no one that loves me.”

You heard his teeth grit. His fingers flexed. He sat up to look you in the eyes. He’s crying. With a single tear that broke through the wells in his eyes and ran down his cheek. It hurts to see him so upset over this. It’s hard to understand why. Yes, he’s your friend. But he should be happy. You’ve always felt like a burden to the people around you.

Seeing you like this was tearing him up. This lack of... will. This isn’t usually like you. If anything it was uncannily similar to him. He never found a good reason to be alive. That is until he found you, his team, his students, and even Naruto wiggled into his heart. But you were always the person he looked forward to seeing the most when he comes home. You always felt like home.

He doesn’t like this. It’s so much better when you’re happy. He feels so alive when you’re happy. That sweet smile of yours makes him feel like he could touch the clouds. Especially when he causes it to form on your face. Now it’s just sickening since it’s stained with blood. He doesn’t like seeing you bleed. The greatest thing in the world is protecting your happiness and he’s not doing that right now.

A world without you in it was becoming a real possibility. How can he live in a world without you? The one friend left in his life that never left. That always had time for him. The girl he could always count on to make him feel better. The one he liked to wake up next to and looked forward to coming home to see.... The one he thought of as his biggest regret for never trying something more when he thought he was going to die. He always thought it was Tsunade. But you... You were always the one.

It was then it became clear. Like the last piece of a puzzle clicking into place in his head. And his despair grew.

“I love you.” Jiraiya said slowly as he was realizing it himself.

It stole your breath to hear that. A new wave of tears hit you and they fell down the sides of your face. You do feel like laughing. Only because there’s no other way you can react. You’ve always wanted to hear him say that. It filled you with joy.

You let out a small laugh, which came out with a small cough of blood that ran down the edge of your chin to run down your jaw. Your hand leaves his hair to slide down to hold his cheek. Jiraiya searches your eyes desperately as he awaits a response. You use your thumb to wipe away the tear under his eye.

“I... love... you too...” You can barely say.

Your strength is leaving you. It’s too late for you. You’ve lost too much blood. Your wounds are too deep. But you don’t regret. Dying for the man you love so he can live is something beautiful. A sacrifice that only love can create.

“It’s why I want you to live.” Your voice is barely audible. “I... want you to... be happy.”

“How can I be happy without you here?” His voice broke. The tears gathered at the middle of his chin grew too heavy and a drop fell. It landed on your cheek like how a single drop of rain does before a storm starts.

You smile at him. It’s one of those pretty smiles you rarely give out. One full of love and affection. For the first time in so many years Jiraiya felt lost. He didn’t know what to do. It’s like help is close by, but so far away. What he loves his dying before him. The love he took for granted is leaving him. The woman who made him smile. The one who took days to listen to him when no one else would. The girl who gave so much of herself no matter what the world threw at her. You saved his life and now you’re leaving. It feels like you’re taking his heart with him. He feels foolish and horrible that he was focused on the wrong woman this whole time. You are what he wants. You are who he loves! How can you die when he just realizes that? It’s not fair!

“I.... I don’t want you to die.” He manages to say quietly.

Your poor sweet Jiraiya. You take in his face. It’s going to be the last thing you see. It’s the perfect thing to see before you die. The shape of his face. His expressive dark eyes. The way his markings curve when he smiles was so cute. The beauty mark on the left side of his nose you always poke to bug him. He always pouted and batted your hand away. It was a feature he never really liked. But you always found it charming. It added a characteristic asymmetrical look to him that counteracted his lopsided grin that had a preference for being bigger on the right. You’d much rather see him smile right now than look at you with such sorrow.

You believe he’ll get over this. He’ll be happy without you. He has much to live for where you only lived for him. He nuzzled his cheek against your palm. He keeps saying something but you can’t hear anything anymore. You feel cold. Numb. Heavy yet light as well. It’s time... your fond farewell must come to a close. It is kinda nice to die in the embrace of the one you love so dearly.

“I’m... sorry.” You utter with your last breaths. “Good... b... bye..”

Your hand falls. You no longer have the strength to hold it. Your fingers slips down his cheek and your knuckles bumps his fringe. It hits the damp mattress with the weight of a cinder block. You watch his eyes widen and mouth drop open. Your sight fades into darkness and eyes relax. After a final breath through your parted lips, you go limp.

“No.... no.” Jiraiya denies and shakes his head. “You aren’t dead.”

He rips off the sticky pads on his chest. The machines went insane with beeping and alarms when they lost his pulse. He didn’t know what else to do. He was so caught up in the moment he didn’t think of it earlier. He pressed his hand on your chest and tried compressions.

“Don’t die.... please don’t die.” He begs you. He leans down and presses his lips against yours. He blows air into your mouth in a desperate attempt to revive you. He returns to chest compressions when he pulls back. But you stay limp and still. “Please.... I can’t stand it if you died right now.”

Jiraiya leans back down to give you the kiss of life just as you did for him. Where you gave him a kiss and that was his first waking memory after believing he died in battle. He wants your lips to twitch. To kiss him back and hold him firmly against your lips. Then when he pulled back your pretty eyes would open again and meet his. They’d be bright with life and love as they look at him. You’d smile and play with his hair before guiding him down to kiss him again. Where you’d just hold him and be content. All while trading muttered ‘I love you’s to one another as the joy of just being alive was enough to be happy. Even if the world was doomed, you and him had each other and that was enough to cope.

But you aren’t. You stay still. You aren’t breathing. Your heart has stopped beating. Your eyes are still slightly open. They are dull and dark. They don’t hold the light with life. Your blood is running down the legs of the hospital bed and pooling on the floor. You don’t react to anything he does. Your lips don’t purse and your arms don’t wrap around him. You don’t roll him onto his back and straddle his waist while you kiss him. You don’t pull back to hold his face and giggle with him before returning to drown him in the affection he desperately craves from you. You are still. You are cold.

“I love you!” Jiraiya held the back of your head and searched your face for movement. A twitch. A quiver. Something? Anything! He went back down and breathed air into your mouth. “Please...” He whispered in a shaky voice against your cold lips. “Please don’t do this to me.”

Tsunade burst through the door first followed by aids and nurses. All of them stunned and confused. Jiraiya was suddenly awake and moving. He’s desperately doing CPR to one of the top doctors in the hospital. There’s blood everywhere. On him and all over the bed. It’s gruesome.

“Help her!” He yelled at him. His voice failing and dying off on the last word. He’s forced to die to a whisper that he’s forcing to be louder. It came out wheezy and had a high pitched waver to it. “Please help her! She’s dying!”

It was enough to snap into action. The medics moved around Tsunade to take charge of the situation. She stood still as she stared at you. Even from there she could tell it’s far too late. You have passed. The blood... oh the blood. You’ve bled out most of it. You are grey in tone and motionless. Just what did you do? Jiraiya doesn’t have a scratch on him. All his wounds seem to be gone. There isn’t even a scar left behind.

Jiraiya is forced off the bed while the medical professionals take over. He’s the most hysterical Tsunade has ever seen him. With evidence of crying and close to hyperventilation from panic. He’s babbling to the staff being careful with you. They are doing their best but it’s mostly out of both curtesy and the frantic energy of the room. They try to stop the bleeding and inspect the unusual quick decay of your left arm. But even they knew by now it was far too late for you. They move a bit slower as they realize you have died from your injuries and they began to mourn. You were always a good boss to them.

“Save her! Do anything to save her.” Jiraiya looks at them one by one and is begging at this point. He can’t come to terms with the fact that you died in his arms. He looks at your face and something twists in his stomach.

Tsunade stepped forward and grabbed him by the arm. Jiraiya looked at her with an almost childlike stunned confusion. He’s lost at what to do. She pulled him out of the room. He doesn’t need to see any more. The worst sight in the world is the white sheet being pulled over the head of the recently deceased. It was the final confirmation that the patient has passed. There’s no hope as death has already long claimed their victim. No one needs to see that. Especially since he’s in such an emotional state. Surrounded by all that blood isn’t good for a person either.

She got him to one of the chairs sitting along the walls of the hallway. For a long time he stared at the floor. His face stuck in an expression of shock and worry. The room on the other side had gotten quiet. He knew why but he didn’t want to. You already looked like a statued tomb among all that activity. Still and eternal in your death like a carving on a table. Lifelike and beautiful, but too immobile and perfect to be alive. He slowly turned his head towards Tsunade and he sighed.

“She’s dead... isn’t she?” Jiraiya asked with a small laugh. It’s not funny at all, but he doesn’t know what else to do. It just sounds so foreign to say. The idea of it was unnatural. It almost did sound like a joke. A cruel one.

He didn’t want to hear the answer. He already knew what was going to be said and the confirmation would only hurt more. He slowly raised his hand to stare at it. His whole hand was stained red with your blood. It ran down his arm to his elbow in thick trails. There’s blotches on his knees and shins with the same colour. His torso is no better since he held you so tightly. It feels like there’s a void without you there. He flexes his fingers. Only a minute ago he was holding you. You’ve always been there. Now you aren’t. At the moment he’s just wishing what you did wasn’t enough to save him. It’d be easier to die. At least if he did he would be with you in whatever afterlife is true.

Tsunade said something, but Jiraiya is too lost in his own head to pay attention. She sighed and stood up. She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. He followed, numb to everything around him. She got him set up in an unoccupied room where he could let this all sink in. She spoke again. Then repeated herself. She grabbed his shoulder and spoke clearly. He raised his head to the bare minimum to meet her eyes.

“What?...” He asked.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Jiraiya shook his head slowly. He’d much rather be alone. This is too much to handle with other people around. Tsunade insisted on checking his vitals before leaving him to grieve. He has a clean bill of health. With no trace of his injuries aside from his missing arm. But even that looks like it was treated with surgery and was now an old wound. In reality it’s only been a few hours. In that time he was caught along the border of life and death. And as if by a miracle, he’s healed and healthy. It really was the work of a miracle. Whatever you did saved his life. For that she’s grateful to you.

“Call for me if you need anything.” Tsunade told him before leaving the room. But she hesitates in the frame. She looks him up and down with a worried frown. You’ve always meant a lot to him. He’s not handling this well at all. She wants to be there for him. But will respect his wish to be alone. She’ll check on him every hour.

He didn’t say anything back. The door closed and he was alone again. For hours, Jiraiya stared at the wall replaying what had happened in his head. It still felt surreal. Like a dream turned into a nightmare. Half of him expects to wake up in his hospital bed still on the verge of death. Or maybe beside you in your bed. At least with that one you’d be there to comfort him. It’s hard to fully grasp the idea that you had truly died for him. You traded your life for his. For as long as he can remember you’ve told him you would do what it takes to save lives. But this is too much.

It’s just hard to believe.

This world goes on without you.

For Jiraiya it feels like it stopped. He lost another friend. Not just a friend, but someone he loved as something more than a friend. One that could have grown to be his girl... or even his wife. He can envision it so clearly and that’s what makes it worse. Being with you... holding your hand and watching you blush when he brought your fingers to his lips to kiss the ring he gave you. Where he could smirk and tease you for being so flushed. He can’t help but blame himself. You were taken away before he could start anything with you. Because he was blind to see he’s always had the perfect partner.

The reality of it all was that you are gone. The only mark of your existence is him. The love you held for him was enough to make the ultimate sacrifice. It’s a rather beautiful way to die. And he doesn’t know what to do with such a gift.

In a perfect world...

Jiraiya would have shared it with you.


	34. Thunderstorms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awoken by a fierce thunderstorm, Jiraiya rolls over in search of you to cuddle. But you aren’t there! Little did he know, you were afraid of storms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I mentally scarred all of y’all with that last chapter, I kinda wanted to do something that hit similar notes but ended with like fluffy cuddling and good times with like.... a cute healthy relationship that’s still kinda new and unfamiliar instead of ya kno... pain and suffering. And where I am has had thunderstorms every night and I got inspired!

A rumble of thunder shook the complex. It was loud. Like a building was collapsing on top of this one. Or like the flood of a title wave forcing a building to uproot from the ground. It crashed and shook the foundation. The lightning that sparked before it was striking along the black night sky so intensely that it flashed even over the heaviest of sleeper’s eyes.

It was a little startling. Jiraiya hasn’t ever been awoken by a storm like this before. He’s never really been caught in one of this caliber before. But the day was really hot and the overcast only got darker as the hours passed. It was inevitable that a storm was coming. It just broke at a weird hour of twilight. The rain hitting the window sounded like softballs hitting the glass. Not that he minds all that much. He’s always loved the sound of rain and the roll of thunder. It was dialled up to a volume he’s never been apart of before. Even so, he finds it nice. There is something so peaceful and interesting about the force of nature when storms break. It’s lovely white noise to focus on and fall back asleep to. He’d love it more so with you to hold onto.

Jiraiya rolls over and sighs. The dampness had made the room feel cold. He reaches over in search of your waist. He tends to anchor his hand on your hip to help him lull back to sleep because he knows you’re there even when he’s deep asleep. The feel of your skin and the warmth of it is soothing to him.

He brings his hand down where he knows he’ll find you. There’s a dull thunk as he plunks it heavily down. His hand meets only the cold sheets. He grips it in confusion as his half asleep brain is struggling to put two and two together.

What? Jiraiya frowns as he blindly searches around for you. Why aren’t you in bed? He sweeps his hand around the sheets until his fingers hit the edge on your side of the bed into the thin air. He sits up quickly. Some rising worry grows in his chest like he swallowed ice. He looks around frantically. You aren’t here! Damn this is like one of his nightmares come to life! Bed empty! His girl gone! Having no idea where the hell you are when you are meant to be by his side filled him with fear.

Did you leave him?

That terrifying thought seized his body for several seconds. Jiraiya calls out your name. There’s no response. He bites his lip as his mind digests that possibly. Yeah you and him don’t get along all the time, but every fight you’ve had with him has been resolved. You and him have been in a great place in the relationship. A really great place! Nothing but kisses, smiles, and giggles. Like the night before you bashfully tracing circles in his chest while speculating about what a future with him would hold. You looked up at him with flushed cheeks and a slightly nervous smile. Only good things was his answer. The gentle touch sent tingles all around his front and he really could use that right now. He wants to hold you. There’s just a big scary void right beside him now and he really hates it.

If you were upset, why didn’t you say something? You always talk to him.

Another thunder clap rocked the house. The sounds of the storm that once comforted him now felt eerie. Like the prelude to a horrible situation. It did feel kinda like he’s walked into a horror novel. He’s a little afraid to leave the bed. He’s half expecting to see the front door dramatically open with rain pouring inside the entryway and your shoes gone. Or worse, your body laying on the floor with cold dark blood pooling around you. There’s gonna be a knife involved either by your body or maybe in the hand of the maniac that broke in and killed you. He’ll turn around after a flash of lightning with the stranger standing behind him and the white light of the lightning will have caught the shine of the blood covered blade that was used to murder you.

Whoa.

Okay step back.

The grim side of Jiraiya’s imagination was more active in weather like this. Hence why he’d rather get lost in staring at the natural light show than overthink. Sometimes rain can be sad. Sigh. It’s not healthy to sit here and dwell on the possibilities. There has to be a reasonable explanation as to why you aren’t in bed. More reasonable than leaving him or being dead on the floor.

Perhaps you can’t sleep during such a storm? If so you may have gone to the living room to sit on the couch or something. It literally feels like Raijin himself was stomping around and beating his drums on the roof. You expressed worry earlier today whenever you glanced at the sky and felt the humidity change. The great smell of rain before rain only made you more anxious. But Jiraiya shrugged it off as nothing out of the ordinary. Not everyone likes storms like he does. He’s a dancing in the rain type while others prefer to stay dry. He just assumed you didn’t want to get wet and that’s why you pushed to go home quickly.

“Babe?” His voice was a little hoarse from sleepiness. He cleared his throat. He got out of bed, making sure his steps are not to be heard. He’s still a little on edge. “Babe, are you here?”

“Kitchen.” He barely catches your quivering voice drift through the house.

Instant relief washed over Jiraiya. He sighed out some of his worry. Okay, you are still here. But are you okay? You don’t sound it. He tipped toed out of the bedroom on the hunt for his girlfriend. He heads straight to the kitchen. It’s dark and quiet. He doesn’t see you. Not at first. The corner of his sight caught a flicker of movement. It was your foot. It tucked back under the dinner table. He bends over to get a look at your face.

The sight of you pulls at his heart. There’s tears in your eyes. You got your knees to your chest and arms wrapped around them for comfort. Your hands are gripping your sleeves so tightly he can see your knuckles have turned white.

“Hey...” Jiraiya didn’t like this at all. He crawled under the table to get close to you. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Your lips parted to speak, but another ground rattling roll of thunder beat over the sky. The look of terror on your face was clear enough. Your hands raise to cover your ears as you cry out this quiet little mewl of terror. 

It’s a fear you’ve always been ashamed about. Why thunder? You don’t even know why. It’s something you’ve hated since you were a toddler. The sound was so unlike anything else in the world. It’s like banging trash cans or a hundred roaring lions. But more intense! It shakes the house and echoes around the ceiling. Which is why you chose the kitchen table. The low structure felt safe because it’s so cramped. The board would protect you if the roof came down. Or so your mind convinced you. It was the spot you always chose to retreat to during storms.

It does feel silly. It’s only rain and sounds. But you don’t like it. You hate it. You are scared of it. You didn’t want Jiraiya to know you have such an irrational fear. He was so brave and tough that this must look ridiculous to him. This man has literally partook in a war with all it’s horrors and his girlfriend is cowering under a table from a storm like an idiot. He’s got every reason to laugh at you and mock you for such a thing. Or think you to be a weakling. Which is something you don’t want. If only you were braver like him, then you would stand and dance in the rain with him.

A pair of familiar arms wrap around you. They are warm. They are already putting you a little bit at ease. There’s not a hint of mocking laughter or amusement in the atmosphere. Just the static feeling of a thunder and lightning storm. Jiraiya managed to coax you into sitting on your knees. It took a while to get you to unfold from your fetal position. You can’t stop shaking.

From there he just pulled you close. Your head hits his chest and you are surrounded by the things that comfort you. His smell, which was always piney like the woods with a hint of tobacco and citrus. The smallest whiff of that just melts some of your anxiety. It meant he was close. It was so inviting with the heat he gave off. You don’t need blankets most nights if he decides he wants to be the big spoon. He’s so much bigger than you that even his stature gave you a sense of protection. He’s tall and broad which is just the perfect mixture to provide both protection from the sun and protection from your fears.

“It’s okay.” Jiraiya spoke softly. He ran his hand down the back of your head. You are shaking like a leaf in his grasp.

A small sniffle from you only broke his heart more. One of the worst things to him is seeing you upset. He had no idea you had a fear like this. Storms can be scary. They shake the world. They can have the strength to rip off roofs from homes or trees from their deep roots. They can strike people down almost like divine punishment with lightning strikes. Hail dents things. It’s really a marvel. But if these things scare you, then he’ll do something about it.

“What do I have to do to make you feel better?” Jiraiya asked you.

“Make it go away.” You whisper and nuzzle your face harder against his chest.

“I don’t think I can dispel a storm, my dear.” He forces a laugh in hopes to make you feel better. He kisses the top of your head. “But I will protect you from it.”

You whimper and grip his shirt. Jiraiya sighs as his brain is lacking some good ideas on how exactly he can protect you. He’s never dealt with you in such a state. It’s throwing him off on how to handle this delicately. A good first step would be to get you out from under the table. You cling onto him as he pulls you out. You wrap your legs around his waist. You fix your grip with your hands to go around his neck. He holds your butt to support your weight. He takes back to bed where he can comfort you and keep you close in a place that it very familiar.

Another roll of thunder bangs around the roof. Your body tenses then quivers. Jiraiya waits for it to pass. He rubs your back up and down slowly to sooth you. Once the sky went quiet he set you down on your side. It doesn’t feel safe like the table did. But you are close to him, which made it better. He won’t let the building crumble in around you or let the lightning strike you. He gets on beside you and tucks the covers up to almost covering your face. He pulls you back into his arms. His hand plays with your hair. His fingers gently brush over your skin.

“You know...” Jiraiya trailed off thoughtfully. “I thought we were past the not telling each other things stage.”

You hook your leg over his waist again and rest your forehead on his shoulder. You sigh quietly.

“I just didn’t want you to think I was weak.” You admit. You go rigid when you see the bright lightning in the window. It came with the following dreadful thunder.

He held your cheek and guided it to look at him rather than the window. You lock eyes with Jiraiya. They don’t look amused or disgusted at your phobia. His eyes are holding understanding and love. Your darling boyfriend then kisses you. It’s soft and gentle. A kiss where you can appreciate the shape and feel of his lips. Which are always lovely with his wider lower lip to bite and they were always smooth. There’s a slight bit of minty taste to him from his toothpaste.

“I’d never think of you as weak.” Jiraiya said. He kissed you again before continuing. “Everybody has a fear.”

“Really? Do you have one?”

He laughed before answering. “Yeah! I got quite a few.”

Now that’s an idea you can’t really grasp. What could Jiraiya be afraid of? He’s so strong and confident it’s difficult to believe he’d be afraid of anything. He’s fought foes mightier and scarier than most anyone will ever face. He’ll climb mountains and jump off of them to prove people wrong. He tackles every obstacle with a calm coolness that only a professional badass can do. All with a defiant grin and a flip of his hair.

“What are you afraid of most?” You ask.

For a moment, Jiraiya hesitates. The smile on his lips slowly leaves. His whole expression drops as if he’s imagining the scenario where his fears come to light. Is it supernatural? Is your boyfriend paranormal believers? Or maybe it’s an animal? Mice? It’d be funny to a big tough guy afraid of something so cute.

“You.” He answered.

“What?” Confusion was your only comprehension. “You’re afraid of me?”

“Not of you.” Jiraiya ran his hand down your cheek, to your jaw, then around to the back of your neck. It was a strong grip, but careful in not to hurt you. It was secure and grounding. “Of losing you.”

Oh.

He pulled you in again and you follow his guidance. He kissed you again and it felt like it was translating both the fear and passion he was feeling. It was like he found you again after being apart for too long. Like a tragedy almost happened to you but you were oblivious to his emotional turmoil you accidentally caused him. It was a kiss that leaves you breathless and wanting more, but worried at his state of mind. Because you are fine and there’s no need to be worried. Not with him here.

“Waking up with you not beside me scared the crap out of me.” He continued. His forehead pressed against yours and he kept his eyes closed as he thinks of how to say it. “I thought you left... which made me feel sick. Or that someone broke in and hurt you, which made me feel more sick.”

The need to comfort your Jiraiya was instant. You love this man and you hate to see him upset. You don’t want to cause him such distress. He’s usually never so emotional. He’s not the sensitive type, but wasn’t totally out of touch with his emotions. Which was hard to find in someone. His reaction was speaking volumes of how he really feels about you. You reach out and cup his cheeks. Your thumbs move under his eyes in a slow sweep. They find no tears but they offer a sense of comfort to your partner.

“I hate the... thought of just...” Jiraiya paused with his mouth open as he searched for the word. “Failing you. Whether it’s our relationship or not being there to protect you. If you ever got hurt I’d just....”

Jiraiya pulls you flush against him in a tight hug. His fingers brace against your skin he was preparing to take a hit in your place. Or that you would disappear in front of him if he let you go. He’d happily take a hit for you even if it killed him or clutch onto you even if it ruined his body from the strain.

You make his life better. You give him a purpose. Ever since he started dating you he actually looked forward to another day. There was a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Which was to see you and spend hours in blissful happiness just from being beside you. It almost felt wrong to be this happy. It would feel like someone physically ripped his heart out and tore it up in front of him if he ever got the news of your demise. The colours would leave his sight and a cold dullness would return to his worldview. This world would be cold without you in it. It would be the worst of his fears and his greatest failure.

“I don’t want to lose anyone else precious to me!” He confessed between clenched teeth as he tried to restrain his despair.

You put your arms around Jiraiya. Poor thing. You kiss his now tight lips. You peck his entire face with little kisses. You know he loves you. But who knew how deeply he felt about this! He speaks of this as if he’s seen too many walk out of his life. He’s suffered through to many tragedies and is holding on to so much grief. It’s not his fault no matter how much he believes it is.

“I’m not going anywhere!” You promise. You squeeze him with your limbs and kiss the very tip of his nose. “I won’t ever leave your side. It would be torture to be parted from you.”

“It would be.” Jiraiya finds the strength to laugh. A single still sad sounding chortle. He loosened his tight grip on you. His hand runs up to rest on that familiar spot on your hip. Now that feels right. “Let’s never do that... okay?”

A small smile grows on your lips. You lean forward to kiss him again. His thumb rubs back and forth on your hip. It’s a familiar heavy touch you’ve grown used too. Jiraiya will often wrestle with your pyjamas to touch your bare hip while you try to sleep. It’s a comfort thing that’s just a little unique to you and him. Even when he’s awake, he likes to hold your waist in some way. Tomorrow will be a day he won’t even leave you alone. Those hands of his will be comfortable on your body no matter what. You’ll have to hold him and kiss him to keep him satisfied. Which sounds perfect.

“Yes. That sounds good.” You agree quietly.

The conversation was so absorbing to all your senses that you didn’t notice until now. The thunder hasn’t clapped in a long time. You chance to look out the window. It’s pitch black out still, but the only activity was the rain. They were more sporadic and light. The storm was moving on. What scares you has moved on. There’s only warmth and comfort where your fear once was. All of it has disappeared because of Jiraiya. He’s always been so good to you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you... and for scaring you.” You apologize.

“Don’t apologize. I’m just glad you’re okay.” Jiraiya said before placing another kiss on your lips. “I’m always here for you, for all your fears.”

“I’m here for you too.” You nuzzle your face against his chest. It’s warm, smooth, and you can feel the beat of his heart. It’s so comforting to find that nook between his chest and neck where you can set your face in. “I won’t ever become your greatest fear.” You promise.

Jiraiya smiles. He lets out a deep breath. That sounded perfect. You have become far too precious to him. He found you during a low point in his life and you quickly picked him to a high point. You just fit him. You are the woman he’s waited for. He won’t ever let you go or let you be harmed.

“I love you.” He said.

You don’t respond. You are relaxed and limp in his arms. Puffs of air from your nose hits the skin on his neck. They are deep and even.

Ah. You fell asleep.

It is late. And that was taxing. Both Jiraiya’s mind and body felt tired after this extensive evening. You must have felt that too. Along with the extra hours of being awake because of your phobia, you must be exhausted. Despite being tired, he felt good. Comfortable and happy with where he is and what he’s got. You stayed awake to comfort him just as he comforted you. He’s never really had someone do that for him. It was wonderful to finally tell someone these sorts of things. Also, of course, he’ll gladly comfort and talk to you whenever you need.

Jiraiya rests his cheek on your head. He squeezes your hip, to which you respond with a sleepy hum and a slight squeeze on his arm. He finally relaxes. His eyes droop close. The sound of gentle rain hitting the window... your warm breaths and even warmer body... it’s the perfect mixture to help him fall into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is gonna be cute and next week is gonna be hella cute with some kiddos involved for Father’s Day!


	35. A Day at a Summer Festival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is a day where you and your family is going to a summer festival! Despite some setbacks, it turns out to be a great day! 
> 
> Same universe as Good News During Hard Times!

A familiar nausea was beginning to wake you up. You swallow heavily and rock yourself back and forth to settle your tummy. Just another hour. That would be nice. It must be early in the morning. It’s cold in the room still from the lack of sun. You can feel your husband still spooning you. He’s adjusted his sleeping patterns of usually rolling around to stay put to instead to cuddle you. Because he knows you are safe in his arms and can rest easy. His forehead pressed against the back of your shoulder with his front pressed against your back. His arm was slung over you with his hand settled on your middle. It’s keeping you warm and comfortable. Enough to almost drift back off... Your eyes began to close again. The rise and fall of his chest moving against your back was oddly comforting. It was easy to focus on it and use it to help you try to get some more sleep.

“Papa.” A little voice whispered.

“Hmm...” Jiraiya sleepily groaned. He held onto you tighter and nuzzled his face into the nook of your neck and shoulder. He’s very much tuned into the parent instinct. The littlest coo of his baby will wake him up. But that doesn’t make it easy if it’s really early. Especially if it’s in a hotel where he knows it’s safe. There’s nothing here to look out for, especially when it’s this early. 

“Papa!” Your little girl whispered again with a bit more of impatience.

“Hm!” He groaned with more displeasure at being awoken.

Jiraiya sighed through his nose and you felt the air brush over your shoulder. He rolled over and you whine as you missed his warmth. He cracked open an eye. There he saw the top part of his daughter’s head. Her white hair was messy from rolling in her sleep. Her black eyes were alert and shining with excitement. Her little hands were gripping the mattress to pull it down ever so slightly so she could see a little bit better. She was small and scrawny for her age.

“Hello papa.” She grinned.

“Hey baby girl.” He replied, his voice husky and grumbly from still being mostly asleep.

With a heavy hand, Jiraiya reached around the nightstand until he felt the alarm clock. He missed the first time and planted his hand on his daughter’s head. He playfully felt around and lightly squeezed it which made her giggle. He does smile at her giggles before finding the actual nightstand. He turned it towards him and squinted. Oh the joys of children. His five year old is way more of a morning person than anyone he’s ever met. She woke up with the sun most days. And he ain’t too impressed.

“Hayami... it’s not even six in the morning.” He complained. “Go back to bed.”

“But papa!” She bounced up and down happily. “You said we’re going to a festival today!”

“We are.” He picked her up by the back of the shirt. She giggled as he was strong enough to lift her into bed with ease. She enjoyed the feeling of flying for the few moments. He held her against his chest like a teddy bear. “But not for another five hours.”

“Papa!” She whined and struggled under his grip. “Papa let me go!”

“No. Beddy bye time.”

Hayami continued to giggle and struggle in Jiraiya’s arms. He’s grinning as she squirms. She’s a funny kid. He loves her greatly, but he also likes to relax. And sleep! God damn was sleep so damn precious now that he has an active kid. Most days he prays he wore out his kid enough to sleep in, but that never seems to be the case.

She whines and eventually runs out of energy. Her legs flop down against the mattress. She sighed slowly and held onto his arm. Jiraiya opened his heavy eyes again to look down. His little one was pouting. Her little lips pulled into a frown and brows furrowed. From that look alone he knew she’s not gonna settle down. She wants to move. She has too much energy to go back to bed.

“Alright.” Jiraiya gave in quickly. He sat up and released his child. She immediately got up and flung herself to the floor. It made a loud thunk that made him cringe. “Honey, the floors are thin. You’ll wake other people if you hop around like that.”

“I wanna go to the festival, papa! I’m excited!” She protested. She continues to hop and jump. “I’m like one of your toads! Right?”

“One of my toads?” He raised a brow and smiled. He got up and grabbed her under the arms. “Then let’s get ready, little toad! Time to hop in the bath.”

“Nooo! Baths are for frogs not toads!”

“Toads gotta get clean too!”

You sit up, now awake from all the commotion. You see your husband carrying your wiggly giggly daughter over his shoulder to the bathroom. She waved at you frantically. Jiraiya turned his head just enough to smile at you. He blew you a kiss before shutting the door. The tap to the bath turned on a moment later. You hear pleasant conversation between the two of them. He loved just talking to her and listening to what she had to say. He found her fascinating. Jiraiya never talked about his childhood, yet it seems he’s so attentive because of it. He said one little tidbit that gave away that maybe his childhood wasn’t very happy.

“I like listening to her... I never really got that as a kid.” Jiraiya said a little wistfully one night. There was a hint of bitterness as well as he patted Hayami’s head as she slept with her head on his thigh. Not bitter at her. She he loves unconditionally. It’s his lacking upbringing that he wished was better. “My parents never had time for me...” The way he looked down at her after saying that was like he was promising her he’d always have time for her. Because he would. She deserved it.

Jiraiya usually knew what to say to his kiddo. Even if it was mostly just listening. She loved to talk. Even as a one year old where she mostly just babbled about nothing coherent. He’d keep her in his lap while he wrote. She’d coo and babble happily as she watched the pencil in his hand write on the paper. He’d hum in acknowledgement and pet her soft hair with his free hand while he worked. They still do that sometimes, but she either draws or writes the sentences he sets out for her to practice. It’s a nice peaceful way to spend time with Hayami that he looks forward to.

There was faint splashing along with giggles from both of them. Hayami liked to talk about her hobbies most of all. Jiraiya would laugh and exclaim how cool they are. It kept her entertained and calm while he washed her up. She loves being outside. She likes getting dirty. She runs through and rolls in tall grass. She skips through the wild flowers and chases the bugs that fly off of them. She loved to climb trees and was showing interest in learning chakra control. If only so she could climb things better. But getting an early start on these things aren’t a bad thing. You know how excited Jiraiya is to start training with his little one. She’s going to be a talented little fighter in only a few years!

These last five years have been so different. Having a baby changes everything. Despite how worried he was, Jiraiya was turning out to be a great father. He was his little girl’s best friend. He was fair and kind to her while still knowing when to punish. He’s a little overbearing sometimes but he’s slowly learning to relax to allow his child to grow independent. She’s becoming a big girl now and he’s accepting that she’s growing up faster than he expected.

You are the rule enforcer of this little family. Jiraiya would hand off most of the punishments to you. You don’t lash out or hit, you simply speak to Hayami. You would sit down with your daughter and discuss what she had done wrong. It’s a learning experience for everyone. She’s a very considerate kid and rarely gets in trouble anyhow. Jiraiya sat in and learned about what to say to in these situations. It’s all so different when it’s his kid! Other kids he can boss around and criticize, but when it’s his own little one that he’s gotta give a stern talking to he just can’t do it very well. He would probably die if he was forced to actually punish her harsher than a talk. He took away one of her toys once and you could see him grit his teeth as she looked at him with big apologetic eyes that were brimming with tears. It hurt him to see Hayami any kind of upset. It hurt more when he made her upset.

“Don’t ever do that again!” He’d tell her with a tone that failed to be harsh. He’d break down into the big old softie he is and hold her and kiss her until she felt better. He’s a total sweetheart when it comes to her. An absolute teddy bear that would always be there for his little girl to cuddle. But this teddy bear had teeth and claws to keep her safe. She absolutely idolized him.

A new wave of nausea dazed you. You put your hand over your mouth and the other over your hefty middle. You’re pregnant with your second child. Almost eight months along with no issues but one. You are just as plagued with morning sickness as you were with your first baby. Maybe even more. You just sit there until it passed. There’s not a lot you can do when you feel this sick. Moving will only make it worse. It’s hard to do anything in this condition. You had no idea how long you were sitting there until Jiraiya returned to your side and Hayami was set free.

It’s not like you aren’t an attentive parent. You are trying. It was difficult when your pregnancy demanded most of your attention. It was hard to think straight sometimes you got so sick. But you have an amazing husband to rely on to help pick up the slack. Jiraiya was a great father despite his inability to really enforce the rules. Today was a day that Jiraiya really wanted to bond and spend time with Hayami to make sure she has a good time. He insisted that she needed to see what happens at a summer festival, so here you are ready to spend a hot day in the sun surrounded by bustles of activity. You’re just here for the ride and get through the day as happy as you can with your loving family whilst being a sick pregnant lady.

Hayami is running around in her undies, gathering some of her belongings. She was blissfully unaware of the things happening around her. Your husband had brought the small trash bin out of the bathroom and held it in front of you. You couldn’t even thank him as you succumb to your sickness and throw up into it. Jiraiya very lovingly petted your hair away from your face while you hurled. He’s become very used to this. You had a milder case when carrying Hayami after all and a lil bit of puke doesn’t put him off. He didn’t mind comforting you however he could. You are carrying his baby and this pregnancy has been hard on you. You don’t complain about your aches and pain, but he does what he can to make you comfortable. Whether it was getting you puke buckets or even the occasional massage.

“I’m good.” You tell him while tapping his shoulder, signalling for him to take the bin away.

“Did you want to stay here?” Jiraiya asked. He banished the puke bucket from your sight. He pulled some of the hairs stuck in the corner of your mouth out of the way.

“No. I want a day out with my family.”

“Okay.” He offered you a small smile. He kissed your sweaty forehead. He put a kiss on your belly too. It won’t be much longer until he gets to meet this one. His gaze wandered to the suddenly very quiet girl and he gasped. “Hayami! Draw on the paper! Not the floor!”

He scrambled to adjust the scribbler in Hayami’s grasp. She somehow got a marker and was drawing a picture on the wood rather than the scribbler. Which was strange since she only owned crayons. How she got her hands on that was a mystery that only kids like her can create. This is a hotel with old hardwood. Getting marker out will be a chore but that’s a problem for tomorrow. She gave her father big puppy dog eyes and a quiet apology. He just sighed and patted her head. He kept the marker and let her to her crayons for a few minutes. Where she drew a stick figure family featuring a tall figure with long spiky hair, a rounded woman, and a small girl in the middle with similarly spiky hair to the tall figure. They were all holding hands and surrounded by giant flowers and the iconic corner of the paper sun that had a pair of shades on.

The eventful morning began to calm down with the rest of the routine falling into place. Jiraiya pulled double duty with helping you and Hayami get ready. It sucks having to rely on him for so much, but you’re too big to put your own damn shoes on. He assures you that he doesn’t mind. He slid them on for you and pulled out your clothes out for you before turning his attention back to Hayami. He herded his kid onto the bed and got her dressed properly. It was a traditional festival, which meant yukata were encouraged.

While she knew how to dress herself, she couldn’t do the nice folds or tie her sash herself. She did as she was told and stood still as Jiraiya asked while he dressed her properly. To keep up with her need for activity, her yukata was cut short to her knees so she can run without a tripping hazard. It was bright red with five petal flowers that were white and pink that patterned the fabric randomly. The sash was a pale yellow which Jiraiya tied perfectly into a bow at the middle of her back. He had quite the secret talent for bow tying which only came to fruition with a little girl that loved having her hair tied in ribbons. You took over and did her hair so Jiraiya could get dressed. He’s still in his pyjamas, which were wet from bathing the little hurricane that was his daughter. He wandered into the bathroom with his change of clothes and shut the door to get a moment of peace.

Hayami really was her father’s little clone. Her face shape was similar but with the added chubby baby cheeks. Her complexion wasn’t exactly like yours, but not quite her father’s. It was a true perfect mix of her parent’s tones. She has bright white hair that grew incredibly fast and thick. You tucked it away into a ponytail using a yellow ribbon with some hair clips to keep her eyes free of her growing mane. She insisted on growing it out to be just like her papa and she loved having it in a ponytail like he usually styles it.

Most days, Jiraiya does her hair because he can’t work up the nerve to tell her no. He not so secretly loved it. All he’d have to do is sit and she’d stand between his knees holding all her hair stuff. He’d get right to it and gently brush her hair free of tangles before tying it up. She often did his hair too. Which he tolerated like a good father. He simply folded his arms and closed his eyes while she braided tangles in his hair and clipped her flowery hair clips in his hair. He’d wear it proudly all day and usually had you detangle it and brush it out before going to bed.

Much to your joy, she did inherit his markings. A set of identical little red ticks were growing under her eyes in the same position as her father’s. They were much thinner, eluding to the possibility that they might grow in a little bit differently. It’s not uncommon among those with facial markings to have deviations throughout the generations. And oh but of course, she had his eyes. Those pretty black eyes that he never really saw as special. But you love them. He saw them as rather plain while you were the one that compared them to things like gems. He changed his viewpoint once Hayami came around. His eyes, meh still pretty plain. But his daughter’s? More beautiful than a starry night sky. You often roll your eyes and remind him the she had his eyes and both contain the same qualities.

It was so funny to see them side by side as she was his little mini me. It included the same goofy wide grin they give you when they want to get away with something. It all matched quite well with their wild white hair that stuck out the same, their mischievous joyful sparkly black eyes, and their red markings curling with their smiles. There was really no doubt whose kid this is. She’s going to grow up to be a prettier version of her father.

Jiraiya emerged from the bathroom dressed only a little bit nicer than he usually does. With his red haori lacking a wrinkle and sitting square on his shoulders. For once his usual green kosode and hakama are at their full potential. He tied his clothing properly closed so it’s not so open over his chest. The sleeves and ends are flowing. No longer are they tucked under his armour, which he opted not to wear today. That included his forehead protector, which he left on the nightstand. No point in it. It’s easier to blend in without all of this stuff on. He and his family are in a neutral territory. One that does not side with any ninja territory or is ruled by any of them. It’s very small without a lot to offer so it’s not so desirable for such things like take over. It has simple farms for a community to trade and sustain itself with. They had a simple local celebration going on with games and food. Everything that makes a good local summer festival happen. It was going to be Hayami’s first festival experience.

Being pregnant didn’t give you many opportunities to dress up. You don’t like to spend your husband’s money without good reason, like on clothing or accessories. He’s the only one making money with his book royalties. Even then he doesn’t get paid every week or month. It’s very sporadic since it’s hard for anyone to pinpoint your family’s location. So with that in mind, you only have one kimono that fits now. It works well enough. It’s summery and bright. It matches your family with red, green, and a simple floral pattern similar to your daughter’s. It didn’t make much sense to spend money on you when there was about to be two growing children to outfit and feed. It’d be better to save for the future.

No, your family isn’t poor. Jiraiya would never allow you or his child to think such a horrible thing. It hurt his pride. He can provide for his family just fine! No one ever missed out on a meal or had a lack of layers. Living like this was more humble nothing more. He is excellent at stretching funds. He knew where to save and what to spend on. Today was a day to spend. It was to give his kid a good time. He’d spend his life savings to make her happy. You too. You are oddly stingy no matter how much he assures you he makes good enough money to have a little fun. He likes spoiling you as much as he does with his daughter. Perhaps after the baby comes he’ll get you something nice. You are certainly due for a new set of clothes. There’s already enough baby stuff that you saved from Hayami’s baby years to have the new one all ready to go. You are the only one lacking something nice. There is plenty of funds saved to splurge for you. Hm.. he might just have to get you something when you are preoccupied with the newborn to notice him slip away into stores.

Traveling around so much was actually fairly cheap. You knew your plants and animals. It’s not so hard to live off the land. The most things the money goes towards was the occasional bar of soap and a hotel room, like in this instance. It was a nice change of pace to wash up in an actual shower rather than a river. It was warm. It was intimate. It’s uh... maybe how your second child was conceived.

There was something so romantic about a late night shower with your husband with a door separating you from your sleeping child in the next room. You got to caress and hold that beautiful muscly body of his as it was slick with the hot water and soap. His hands wandered over your body and he moved in to make out on that spot on your neck he loves to tease. You held onto him and cried out in pleasure by his ear as he used the shower wall to support your back as he fucked you well into the first lights of dawn. Sometimes he can still feel the scratches that you left on his back that night. He misses it just as much as you did. It had been a while since you and him had a chance to passionately make some love as neither you nor him wanted to scar Hayami. It was certainly hard to stay off of each other for so long. You got so sick right after conception that you couldn’t have any extra fun with Jiraiya. He was more than fine with this. He just did what he could to get you through your pregnancy as smoothly as possible.

It took the helping hand of Jiraiya to pull you to your feet. You are carrying much more forward this time around and well... just very large. You can barely get to your feet by yourself. He shaves your legs for you and helps you get pants on with no complaints. He still liked your pregnant look. The big beach ball sized bump you had was still his favourite. He loved it! The newest addition to his growing family is in there and he’s excited to meet them! He no longer had so many anxieties about this.

Actually, this time around Jiraiya has been very relaxed. He knew the process and was familiar with babies. He’s successfully raising one so how hard can having another one be? This isn’t so scary anymore. You are healthy despite some minor issues and he can handle all your pregnancy problems. And what’s hotter than his beautiful wife carrying his second little one? Nothing that’s what! He’d bend you over and have a go right now if you wanted.

There was a breakfast diner not so far away from the hotel. You wasted some time with your family at the establishment. You had to take your time with your nausea. Hayami was practically dancing in her seat. She ate quickly and asked several times when the festival starts. To which Jiraiya always responded with the ‘soon but not yet’ answer. He sat on the outside of the booth to keep her blocked in. It didn’t stop her from climbing all over him and bugging him with the same questions. To which he answered with patience and understanding. With the help of your husband, you managed to waste plenty of time before the festivities began. It was nice to laze around for a moment since you know you’re gonna be on your feet all day. Knowing Hayami, she won’t stop at all today.

The streets were soon filled with assembled booths and the smell of a delicious variety of foods. Hayami was overwhelmed. Her eyes went wide and she gasped at all the sights. The games! The food! The scents and sounds astounded her. She tugged on Jiraiya’s sleeve and pointed at things she wanted to see. He let her drag him to different booths. You follow with bemusement. She had him wrapped around her little finger. All she had to do was bat her eyelashes and her daddy will get her anything she wants. He bought her the snacks she wanted to try and split it with her so she doesn’t overindulge and crash by noon. She’d be cranky all day if that happened.

You stopped and breathed in the scent of something delicious. It was the first thing that really appealed to you since you got pregnant. Since everything made you sick and your pallet even changed, it was hard to keep food down. Things you usually liked only made you sick. You’ve mostly eaten plain not so flavourful food that’s not so nutritious. Like crackers and stuff of a similar paper like taste. You actually lost some weight at the beginning of your term because you threw up everything you tried to eat. It worried the crap out of Jiraiya. He eloquently put it as you are to be big, fat, and happy whilst pregnant with his babies. With his watchful attention, he’s managed to get you to be these things. He’s been a real champ in making sure you eat a decent amount of food each day. You literally had unflavoured vegetable broth for breakfast today while he kept a close watch on you to make sure you ate every bite. He packed things like chips or wafers for you to eat while on the road. He made plenty of stops for snack breaks for both his girls to make sure they are fed and happy.

“Something get your attention, babe?” Jiraiya asked with a knowing smile. You got that wistful and wanting expression that he learned you get when you crave something.

“Mama want snack?!” Hayami asked with a big grin. She was bouncing with her sugar buzz. She knows that you have been sick. She didn’t quite understand why, but she didn’t like it. It made her papa upset too. So she was just as enthusiastic as Jiraiya was when she realized her mama was hungry for something.

You take in that delicious smell again and look around. What was it? It was like Okonomiyaki, but with the distinct smell of frying oil along with it. Jiraiya looked around for the source. He’ll hunt that booth down to the ends of the earth for his pregnant wife. He spots a booth selling a rarer treat not so common along festivals. Fried Monja. It contains the similar savoury contents as Okonomiyaki but it’s rolled up, wrapped in dough, then deep fried. Must be a local treat as the booth was steady with customers. Everyone there looked happy to dig into their freshly made snack. He grabbed your hand and the hand of his child before leading the way.

“It smells really good.” You sigh happily at the idea of tasting them.

“Finally, we find something baby wants!” Jiraiya laughs. He orders the largest size for you and he’ll make sure you eat it.

It’s made to order so you had to wait. Another booth caught Hayami’s attention. She squealed and grabbed her father’s hand. She dragged him away to a game booth across the street. Jiraiya could only really give you a tired but happy smile as he willingly let his little girl take him away. You waved them off. You’d meet up with them soon anyhow.

It wasn’t much longer until you got your food. They were all bite sized Monja that was wrapped in a paper cone for easy carrying. The cone itself was like... giant. It was a cornucopia of deep fried food and you couldn’t have been happier to have it. The girl running the booth was enthusiastic and happy for you. She was actually the first person to congratulate you on your pregnancy. It was... odd to hear. Being around strangers all the time meant they minded their own business. Aside from the occasional entitled person that walked right up to you and touched your belly without asking. Jiraiya usually ran interference and snapped at anyone who got too close to you. Yes he had more chill now that he’s a father, but he was still incredibly protective. He’d probably break a person’s fingers if they touched either of his girls.

You cradled your big snack and thanked the cook. You turn around and waddle in search of your family. You snacked on the Monja happily. Baby was a big fan of these. You feel no nausea while you eat them. It was so blissful to not have the urge to up chuck what you’re eating and feel some real energy from good food. You’ve been so lethargic this whole pregnancy that it was such a breath of fresh air to finally have some real calories in your system. You got some pep in your step now and at full attention as you look around the busy area.

It was easy to find your tow headed family among the crowd. Their bright white heads stand out against most things. But in this case they were side by side as Jiraiya was knelt down. He had one hand on Hayami’s back while the other adjusted the dart in her fingers. The game was simple. Hit two balloons on a board with three darts and win a prize! At the moment, Jiraiya was coaching his daughter on how to aim and throw. He fixed her grip to fit her small hand around the dart more naturally.

“You’ll feel the weight and trajectory a lot better after the first throw.” He told her in a gentle and loving tone as he taught her the bare basics of throwing weapons. He pushed on her back to make her step forward to the X marking the spot players are allowed to throw from. “Don’t get discouraged if you don’t make the first shot. Just keep trying.”

“Okay papa!” She nodded vigorously.

Hayami took that advice to heart. She raised the dart up to the spot she was told to hold it at and aimed. Her tongue stuck out in concentration. Jiraiya bit his tongue on advising further. While he wants his daughter to win, he didn’t want to overstep and tell her where to aim. It’ll only dampen her learning if she doesn’t do it on her own. From his position he can tell the dart will fall short. Honestly this game is easy for a trained ninja. But that’s what’s making it so fun! It’s a great opportunity to teach his kid her first lesson in the art of weaponry.

As predicted, the dart she threw lands short in the dirt at the base of the balloon board. She looked down in disappointment. Jiraiya ruffles her hair before telling her it’s alright. He handed her the next dart and fixed her throwing position again. He made a point to raise her wrist a little bit higher.

It’s very sweet to watch. Jiraiya wasn’t usually so nice of a teacher. But this is his little girl after all. He doesn’t have the heart to raise his voice or criticize her in a harsh tone. He hardly ever talks to you like that. Whatever things he taught you was usually taught swiftly and with a certain amount of uncalled for sarcasm. Then again he may only speak to you like that to get you worked up enough to want to spar with him in a different way. You can almost feel him pin you against a tree with your arms above your head. It’s hot and sweaty to be near him. His hot breath tickling your skin as he continues to antagonize you in a sultry tone that makes you weak in the knees.

Thunk! Pop!

“Mama! Papa!” Hayami jumped around happily. “I got one! I got one did you see?”

You look up from staring at the back of your husband’s head to the balloon board. Hayami hit a balloon at the very bottom of the board. Jiraiya caught her when she fell into his arms for a hug. She held a fistful of his shirt and pointed excitedly at the game board. He congratulated her and kissed her head.

“Good job!” You clap your free hand against your wrist as you balance your paper cone of treats in the other. She squealed and ran to you. She hugged your legs. She knows you can’t really bend over so she accepts the head pats you give her with glee. Of course she’s a natural at this! She takes after her papa in practically every way.

The man running the booth groaned and rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah! But you still gotta get one more!” He snapped his fingers. “And hurry it up would you! I got a line forming.”

The withering glare he received from both you and your husband was enough to make him shrink back. One does not simply yell at your kid and husband and expect to not get a glare cold enough to freeze lava.

“Don’t listen to him, kiddo.” Jiraiya dismisses the booth operator. He turns back to his daughter with this next piece of advice. “Take your time. Never strike without thinking.”

Hayami nodded. She glanced at the mean man that yelled at her nervously. He’s staring at her with a frown. You gently push her back to the X for her to take the last shot fairly. She looks behind her to you. You smile and give her an enthusiastic thumbs up.

“You got this, sweetie!” You encourage her.

She smiled at you before turning back to the board. She raised the dart and took aim. You held your breath in anticipation. Jiraiya watched the board and glanced to the dart to predict it’s course. He smirks.

Hayami took the shot. The dart flew through the air towards the board.

Thunk!

It skimmed a red balloon in the middle of the board. It didn’t pop. You let out your held breath. Aw well. It’s not a big deal if she doesn’t win. She tried her best and that’s all that matters. She took her first steps in training today. It’s an excellent milestone! Plus she got to have fun while doing it. She’s a talented kid! She’s got good hand-eye coordination. With a little bit of guidance, she’ll be hitting bullseyes in no time!

“Aw. Don’t get worked up over it, honey.” Jiraiya comforted Hayami as she flung herself into his arms. “You did great!” He held her tightly and stood up with her nuzzled against his chest. He knows how much she cares about his opinion and he tries to be positive. She’s emotional and small! He still remembers what it’s like when he could balance her whole body on his arm when she was but a babe. She still feels that small sometimes. It’s so hard not to just smother her with love.

You waddle up to his side and kiss her head. “You did so good! We are very proud of you.”

Hayami sighed and sniffled. She did peek out and look at you with her lip stuck out in a pout. Aw your poor sweet girl. You rub her back to comfort her. Jiraiya continues to sway her back and forth to rock her like he did when she was a baby. You turn around with him to leave the booth. Most likely to get a treat you already know your kid likes to cheer her up.

Hiiiiiiiiiiisssssssss!

You look back. The red balloon the dart was right beside was deflating. She hit it! She hit the balloon! If you could jump right now you would. But the human inside of you would not enjoy that. You pat Hayami’s back and point back to the board.

“Hayami! Look! You got it!” You exclaim.

“Really?” She sniffled and looked up from the security of her father’s chest. She gasped when she saw it. Her face lit up. “I got it! I hit the balloon! Do ya see?” She pulled on the hem of Jiraiya’s shirt and looked up at him. “Papa! I got it!”

He laughed and put a kiss on her cheek. “I knew you could do it!”

“I get a prize now! Right?”

“Hell yeah you do!”

You and your family all look at the booth operator. He has his arms crossed and looks unwilling. He scoffs.

“Well since you just grazed the balloon, it doesn’t-!” He pauses when he gets the same glare from you that would send a tailed beast cowering and rethinking this whole interaction. He sighed reluctantly. It’s best not to mess with the pregnant lady and her big rather strong looking husband. He gestured to the small stuffed animals hanging on display on the ceiling of the booth. “Two shot wins are eligible for one of these prizes.” He grumbled.

Hayami looked at them like they were gold. Her eyes big with wonder as she looked the stuffed animals over. To a kid her age it must feel like gold. She won something all by herself and she feels proud of what she did to get her prize. She picked out a pink plush in the shape of a balloon animal. It had a misshapen face and the sewing on the back was poor, but she loved it. She held it with the same pride as if it was a first place trophy. To her, it was a trophy.

She was content to follow her parents as they make the next few stops. Which included a drink to beat the heat and rehydrate. She barely looked up from her new toy to take sips from the cup you held out to her.

Then Jiraiya won you a prize. He tried his luck on a round of Senbonhiki and got a plastic ball. Once he cracked it open, it revealed a small keychain charm in the shape of a cartoony toad perched on a red capped toadstool. He laughed at how perfect the icon was to him and handed it to you. It shall be proudly displayed on your backpack later.

“Do I gotta win you something?” You ask with a cheeky hum.

“No I’d say I already got a few prizes!” Jiraiya said before leaning down to kiss you. He ran his hand over your bump. Then it crested over your wide middle to squeeze your ass.

“Not in front of my baby!” You complain. But it falls short when you angle your head to allow him to peck your neck in kisses. Which he gladly does.

He laughs at your statement before finishing with a kiss on your cheek. He retreated after that. He paid attention to Hayami, who was ready to do more activities. She was still too innocent to really understand the flirty part of your relationship with Jiraiya. She just smiled when she saw her parents get along. You told her that kisses are to be shared with the people you love.

There was a homemade slide that didn’t look all that safe. It was tall, like the size of a building. It was wooden and it creaked with the weight of your child on it. Jiraiya waved your concern off and promised to grab his kid if the slide began to break apart. He stood at the end and was knelt down to catch Hayami the moment she got to the end of the slide.

Of course she loved it. It was sanded down and covered in a finish that made the wood slippery. With the lack of friction, she flew down the slide at high speeds. She threw her hands up and shrieked with joy. Which turned into giggles when Jiraiya caught her and lifted her up. He tossed her ever so slightly into the air and caught her again. It got her more excited.

“Again! Again!” She wiggles out of his grasp and ran back up the stairs of the slide.

This slide entertained her for a while. She wasn’t afraid of heights. She braved the mountain of stairs for that few seconds of fun. It wore her out but she loved it. Jiraiya made the decision when enough was enough. Hayami was huffing and had slowed down immensely, but insisted on going again.

“Come on, sweets. You need a break.” Jiraiya pulled rank and kept his tired kiddo in his grasp.

She sighed and held onto his shirt. It was her reluctant way of agreeing that she wants to take a break. He rejoined you on the sidelines. You reach out and play with Hayami’s messy hair. The work you’ve done on it in the morning was almost completely undone. Her fringe was sticking out at a funny angle. Not that she minded all that much. She yawned and rested her head on Jiraiya’s shoulder.

There was an ice cream stall near by next to a sit down area. Perfect! Your feet didn’t know they needed a break until you sat down. They were a little achy and swollen. You can’t even see them over your belly. You sigh and just try to relax. This pregnancy has felt very long. You are very excited to have a second baby, but goodness if they ain’t picky. The heat only made it all harder to handle.

Jiraiya soon returned with ice cream and child in tow. Hayami was a bit more alive as she munched on her cold treat. Jiraiya sat down next to you and sighed. This was more exhausting than expected. He handed you the cone of ice cream he got you. You smile and rest your head on his free shoulder. You shared the cone with him while dozing.

There was plenty of other kids around. So once Hayami has finished her treat, Jiraiya held her still and you wiped her face off. She struggled and whined the whole time. She didn’t like being clean. Hence why she had to be held down while you licked a paper napkin and wiped her face off. Jiraiya contained his snickering until he set her on her feet. She hated anything that stalled her from having fun. She took off running the moment she was set on the ground. She ran to go make some new friends for a day. It’s pretty amazing how resilient children are. A few moments of rest and she’s ready to go again. Her parents however? They are content to rest.

Jiraiya put his hand on your bump again. He rubbed it fondly while keeping an eye on Hayami. You had your hands resting naturally on the top of your bump while you doze. It’s been quite the long day. But fun. The opportunity to do something fun like this never comes around. The moment you left Mount Myōboku it’s been nothing but traveling. Which wasn’t so different with a child. It was a little slower at first with a toddler, but the routine soon fell into a comfortable rhythm.

The only unfortunate thing was there wasn’t a lot for a kid to do. Half of the time your family was out in the middle of no where camping. Jiraiya was usually Hayami’s playmate since there was nothing else for her to socialize with or do. He feels guilty since he’s the one that wants this lifestyle and feels like he’s depriving his child of a normal childhood. She doesn’t have what he or you had as kids. Like friends or consistencies like a house. Her only real friends are her parents and maybe the occasional toad Jiraiya summons to rope in for a round of babysitting.

“She’s growing up just fine.” You assure your husband. You hold his hand against your belly. “We’re making her a playmate.”

“Maybe we can make her a few.”

You smile. A big family sounds nice. Busy and challenging, but in a good way. You got plenty of love to share with your husband to nourish plenty of little ones. You share a kiss with Jiraiya. He holds you in it for several seconds, savouring the chance to give you a real kiss. You and him watch over Hayami as she plays with kids her age. She was excited by all the activity and games they showed her. Games that will no doubt be played with all her siblings in the future.

Eventually the sun sets and the final activity that makes summer festivals so fun was going to start soon. All the other kids were being called in by their parents. You call in Hayami and she comes running up. Jiraiya picked her up and set her on his shoulders in proper piggy back ride fashion. She stifles her yawn. It’s been a big day for her. But she didn’t want it to end! Today has been so much fun!

Your family finds a place along the side of the gathered crowd. Hayami jumps when the first rocket gets launched. The noise was loud and unfamiliar to her. Her eyes follow the stream of glittery light. It explodes into streamers of red and gold. Her mouth opens and she becomes mesmerized by the new sights of fireworks. She’s never seen them before. Once the shock wore off, she bust into giggles and reached her hands out towards the streamers of light.

Her excitement was contagious. When was the last time you’ve seen fireworks and had so much fun? They are pretty! She was ecstatic to see all the different kinds. The colours and noises all so unique and fun. She doesn’t blink for awhile to not miss a single thing. Watching her have fun was really rewarding. Your daughter is happy and there’s no feeling like knowing you’re providing her with a good childhood memory. You feel a hand graze yours. You smile and hold your husband’s hand while watching the colours in the sky. You used to go on summer dates like this with him. It’s been so long since you’ve been on a summer date with him. The fireworks and stars make it all so wonderfully romantic.

It was a good long show. With plenty of different fireworks for Hayami to see. She was having a good time. She stared at the sky in vain when there was a big gap of silence. Her excitement faded as it dawned on her that it might have ended.

“Aw... is it over?” Hayami pouted.

“I guess so, kid.” Jiraiya shrugged.

“But they were so pretty! Can’t they do more?”

“I don’t think so. They gotta save some for next year.”

She gasped. She leaned over his head to get a look at his face. “Are we gonna come back next year, papa?”

Jiraiya shares a look with you. You shrug and smile.

“I think we can make that happen.” You say.

She throws her hands up and cheers. “Yay!” She looks at you with a big grin that was an exact copy of her father’s. “And we’ll have baby by then, right? So we can show them the fireworks too!”

“That’s right!”

Hayami was over the moon at that idea. She was gonna make a great big sister. She’s already talking about showing her new sibling all kinds of things. She was excited to have a friend. She was impartial to having a brother or sister. She’s just happy to have someone else around. Jiraiya on the other hand was dropping hints that he’s hoping for another girl. Having plenty of pretty daughters just sounds so nice! Plus, you and him already got everything to outfit a girl.

Girl or boy, you’re down for both. It’d be nice to have another girl since you know almost everything about having a girl. But a little boy would be just as good. Different and new. A sweet little boy that will grow up to look exactly like his father. With the same white hair, black eyes, and red markings. Honestly, let’s hope all your children take after their father. The combination of his features are just so pretty. Having a whole family of that will be perfect! All your cute little white haired babies lined up with their white haired father. And those who dared to touch his little nestlings will suffer a horrible fate.

He’s just as protective as Gamabunta is of his little ones. Which was on the level of like a mama moose and her baby. God have mercy on anyone who stands in the way of that. It was funny actually, the two had actually gotten along during the year long visit. The chief toad recently had his brood of little ones right after you gave birth. The toad and master seemed to have bonded over the new adventure of fatherhood. Jiraiya even allowed Gamabunta to hold Hayami, which was comical. For one, Jiraiya bristled at the idea of anyone else holding his newborn. It said a lot of the trust he had when he placed his swaddled baby in Gamabunta’s hand. Secondly, your baby looked like a grain of rice in the large toad’s hand! She looked even more itty bitty than she already was. Instead of any normal gruff comment or sneer, he was actually very nice. He held your newborn in his palm and swayed his webbed hand very gently to sooth her while showing one of his rare smiles.

“We’ll have to go back to the mountain.” You say thoughtfully. “I’m sure Hayami would like to meet all her extended family again.”

It’ll be nice to see all the toads again in a relaxed setting. They were very welcoming on their turf. Plus you get to see all of them bond with Hayami again. They all loved her as a baby and grew just as protective as her as Jiraiya was. All of them would hound on an enemy if they dared touched a hair on their master’s child. Apparently they were protective like this when Jiraiya was a kid. He turned pink with embarrassment as Shima told you that the older toads had practically adopted him when he showed up on their mountain as a little kid. It will be funny to see Gamabunta reluctantly allow your rambunctious and energetic five year old climb all over him just as he reluctantly allowed Jiraiya to. He would let it happen but will complain loudly to you and Jiraiya as Hayami stepped on his eye or blocked his nose. You would try to tell your kid to play nicely while Jiraiya would grin deviously as his amazing daughter was unwittingly getting revenge on his behalf for all the flack the chief toad gave her papa for so many years. She had immunity and free range to do as she wished while he would have gotten eaten or smacked off the mountain.

“Maybe after you recover from childbirth.” Jiraiya agreed. It’d be nice to sit and share a drink with another father he knows. Even if that other father was the size of a four story building. And... well... a toad.

And no... going back to Konoha was still not an option. Maybe one day. When the wounds aren’t so fresh. While The Village Hidden in the Leaves has hosted plenty of painful moments, it also holds lots of good ones. One day Jiraiya would like to take his children there to show them where their parents hail from. He’d like them to meet his teacher and show them the places that mattered. Like where he met you or the training ground he always frequented with his team. He wants them to have a taste of what it’s like to be raised in a ninja village. Just all the good times that helped form both you and him.

But this was a situation that was far away. You know that one day returning to Konoha will be inevitable. Whether it was to mail his next manuscript or getting summoned by Hiruzen, it was going to happen sooner or later. Showing your kids around the place you grew up did sound good. And hopefully, people will be kind. People were always kinda judgmental there. They never were a fan of you as Jiraiya’s wife. With the two popular opinions being you are too low ranking to go for a man like him, or he’s too old, perverted, and dishonest to make a good husband. They were all wrong! You are in love with this weirdo and he loves you too. Most of your time being engaged to Jiraiya was spent defending your relationship with him. You’d probably have to do the same when it came to your children. It was nice to be away from that for now.

It’s just nerve racking thinking about all this. The inevitability of going back to Konoha was hanging over your family. Both you and Jiraiya are worried about how the village will treat your children. The circumstances aren’t good. Jiraiya is obviously worried he’ll get verbally hung by the villagers for his hypocrisy. Maybe even have a few rocks thrown at him. He abandoned his responsibility as a godfather and left Naruto in a village that hates him. Then he goes and has a family? They ought to hang him for being such a hypocrite. Meanwhile, you are more worried how your babies will be treated because so many people don’t think you make a good partner to Jiraiya. Who knows how they’ll take the idea of you being the mother to his children. Or how they’ll treat your children. The only comfort you have is that no one there knew you had children.

It won’t be that bad. Both you and your husband tell each other that a lot. Life isn’t always easy. You were just as scared to take on the responsibility of someone else’s child as he was. Then you got pregnant not long after that day. It wouldn’t be fair to either child. Parenting was still hard and new. And the mental state Jiraiya was in after learning of his student’s death would only damage Naruto more with neglect. He wasn’t fit to do much after that day, raising a baby by yourself with your checked out depressed husband would have been too much of a chore on your mental well-being. Both you and him were in a much better place when you had Hayami. Better enough to actually raise a child fairly. And having children made both you and Jiraiya very happy. Jiraiya was especially fond of being a parent to his little girl. He was happy and had a sense of fulfillment in raising someone he helped create. You make this all possible. He knows he’d be much worse off without you here. But he won’t ever tell you that. You get upset when he speculates like that.

The journey back to the hotel as a short one. The crowd of festival goers dispersed quickly since most of them were locals. All they had to do is go home. On the way there, Hayami began to fall asleep. Her cheek rested on top of Jiraiya’s head and her body limp. Once inside the room, he picked her up off of his shoulders and set her on the other bed in the room. She whined and was dead weight as he changed her into her pyjamas. All she wanted was her rest and having to raise her arms to get her nightie on was interfering with that. She didn’t want to cooperate and was a limp doll in her father’s arms. She face planted into the pillow the moment she was let go. Jiraiya chuckles at her antics and tucked her in with the blanket all the way up to her chin. He kissed her head before retreating. You put a kiss on her head too.

“Night mama.” She whispered. Her heavy eyes opened just barely to look at you.

“Goodnight sweetie.” You whisper back at her.

Hayami grinned at you. You take the clips out of her hair so they don’t squish her head or pull out painfully in the middle of the night. Her eyes close as you play with her hair. She likes it when her papa does her hair, but she likes how her mama takes it out. It’s gentle and soothing as your fingers brush out her tangles. She wraps her arms around her new plush friend and falls asleep.

The sight of your peaceful five year old makes you happy. She looks good and tired so perhaps you can get a good nights rest. You leave her side to let her sleep and sit on the other bed beside the one she’s in. Jiraiya crawls on behind you and his hands rest on your shoulders. He presses his thumbs into your muscles and massages them. It felt good. Your eyes close as he worked out the knots you’ve gained from carrying this baby. He kissed your neck. His hands move on to give your boobs some attention. They grew again much to his joy. They are incredibly sensitive which he also enjoys as you become putty in his hands when he plays around with you.

“Why are you so nice to me?” You sigh happily.

“Because.” He paused and kissed the back of your ear. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You sigh quietly with a pleasured relief as he massaged your chest. All of you is sore and tender. Your chest especially since they are preparing to feed a kid soon. The sensation of his hands squeezing them offers some relief. Your boobs just feel heavy. It was nice to have a moment of them not weighing you down. Jiraiya let them go eventually. He did so carefully since he knows the wrong movement could make them flare up in pain. It’s both fascinating and weird how much your body changes during these times. Not that he minded. He loves you in all your forms. He slowly moved his hands down to hold your big bump. He kisses the back of your neck.

“How you feeling, my love?” His question was quiet against your skin with his breath pleasantly warm.

“Better.” You match his whisper. His tone made you breathless and swoon. The feel of his lips over your neck was sending tingles down your spine. It didn’t take much for him to turn you on. Your rapidly changing hormones also helped that along too. “I feel much better since I ate something real today.”

“I’m glad.” Jiraiya gently squeezed his hand on your bump. He kissed your shoulder. “We found something you and baby like. I’ll buy you that everyday if that’s what you two want.”

“Mm...” You purr and lean your head back. The thought of eating that Monja again sounded like a piece of heaven. It’d be especially lovely if your darling husband hand fed them to you. You turn your face towards his and smile. “That sounds amazing.”

He smiles. He lays plenty of kisses on your neck and shoulder before moving around to face you. With his help, Jiraiya gets you laid down into bed. He shut the lights off and quickly checked on Hayami one last time. She’s still contently asleep. With her hair already defying gravity from rolling around.

Finally, Jiraiya crawled back into bed to get some sleep. It’s been a long day! From waking up at five forty in the morning and taking care of his family all day until close to midnight had exhausted him. He lets out a sigh of relief with another day done. He becomes your big spoon again. With his face against your hair, body pressed against your back, and arm wrapped over your large bump.

You place your hand over his. As if to not be left out, the baby kicked you. Your belly vibrates with the hit. You can feel Jiraiya’s smile against your shoulder. The newest addition is eager to come and see the world. Just not too soon. He or she has a little bit of growing up to do still. And their parents aren’t quite ready to have them yet. Your fingers interlock in the spaces between his fingers. He squeezes your hand and puts a kiss on your shoulder.

A moment later you hear his soft snoring in your ear. That’s one tired father that’s cuddling you. He’s good at his job as caregiver to both you and your daughter. He deserves some love after the newborn is here, and you’ll certainly supply it. It doesn’t take long for you to fall asleep as well. Like everyday with Hayami, tomorrow was going to be crazy busy. But you look forward to it. There is plenty to look forward to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this hella cute chapter! I hopefully did a good job at making something cute and fun. Because this man would be the world’s biggest marshmallow when it comes to his kids and y’all can’t convince me otherwise. Also open to you guys picking the gender of this baby if I do another part in this au. 
> 
> And yeah low key head canon that Jiraiya was raised by abusive/neglectful parents and that’s why he’s so good at reading people since he was raised around people he had to read in order to live a peaceful day. It would also kinda explain why he’s good at sneaking around but it’s just a theory of mine take it or leave it folks. I think they were very vague in the manga and show on his upbringing other than a passing comment that he knows they’re alive.


	36. As Time Goes By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request from a lovely reader!   
> You’ve been stuck on this mission for months now with slow going on your target. One night, when you start your shift at your cover job as a singer, you see a peculiar face in the crowd. A face you know, but he doesn’t know yours. It seemed The Great Jiraiya was watching you perform. Tonight just got interesting!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know the request said it would be pretty chill for the mission, but the d r a m a hunny! I went with something more exciting for a more fun of a read(hopefully) and I let my brain go hog wild for some interesting details that I hope paid off well! I had loads of fun with it and hope I didn’t goof with it too much to what you were sorta envisioning. With that being said... 
> 
> WARNING for mentions of sexism, death, murder, and non con stuff including verbal implications and physical wounds. I swear it doesn’t get too heavy, but its necessary for the story though so bear with me on this one lads.  
> The inspiration for the title is from the song ‘As Time Goes By’ by Dooley Wilson. If you give the song a listen then I think you’ll kinda get why I titled it this. I kinda envisioned reader like an old soul voice since that kind of sound is timeless. So think 40s or Fallout Diamond City radio songs if that makes sense.

Oh sure!

Hey Jiraiya! Go walk into the lion’s den and seek out the undercover spy we have stationed there and get a report from her! No biggie! It shouldn’t be a problem for you. Even though we got reports of these thugs killing some of our ninja and throwing parts of their bodies at the border who accidentally passed through in uniform... You should be fine though!

Jiraiya sighed loudly with obvious annoyance. Yeah he understood why it was so vague. If the message got intercepted and description of the spy set in the town was put down, her cover would be blown. Her months of work for nothing! What’s worse is that she’d be in danger without realizing it and it would be too late to get her out. But still! Annoying! He’s kinda just gotta wander into a hostile town that doesn’t take kindly to shinobi and step carefully with every action. The only real benefit he sees is that the spy in question was working in a cabaret. It meant drinking and at least a good show. With plenty of scantly clad women for him to stare at as they bring him his drinks. Just because he’s on a mission doesn’t mean he can’t have fun.

The moment he stepped foot in town he was met with what he about expected. At the gate that welcomed people into town, Jiraiya was stopped by a rough looking man that patted him down for weapons while another searched his bag.

“And what business do you have on our turf?” One of the guards asked.

“Oh nothing much.” Jiraiya replies casually. He’s feigning ignorance about their hostility and brashness. If he’s argumentative, they’ll be suspicious. It’s best to just slide on by as peacefully as possible. “Just passing through. Anything to do for entertainment around here?”

The punk holding his pack spoke next. “We got a bar with singing and dancing and stuff downtown.” A pervy grin grows on the younger man’s face. “There’s this one chick... her voice... her body!”

The other guard hit his comrade. “Dude that’s the boss’ gal! You don’t go talking like that.” He turned to Jiraiya and bid him farewell with a warning. “And you! Don’t start no trouble. We won’t hesitate to...” He drew a line across his neck in the iconic gesture.

“Gotcha.” Jiraiya said flatly. It’s like being intimated by a vaudeville act. All that’s missing is the jaunty music and over the top sound effects. These two don’t seem so clever. But they are entertaining. Maybe they should work for the cabaret with this little number. He grabbed his stuff and moved on.

It wasn’t so hard to find the cabaret. There was only a few bars in town and this one had the most traffic. The best place to start looking is where the most activity is. If you are as good as they say, you’ll be either very easy to find or very hard. Plus, he’s very interested in “the boss’ gal” the goon talked about. She must be really something if the boss of this little rinky dink town was into her.

From what Jiraiya has gathered so far, there was some kind of take over. That much was obvious to most of the people in this corner of the land. They were all on edge and worrying about their own land. It seems a group of brigands overran and overtook the current social hierarchy. He got the five second version in the corespondents. Honestly he’s walking in almost completely blind.

It was a large and short tempered group that wanted a place to call their own. They took this place and have been terrorizing the people ever since. There was rules and regulations. They killed anyone who was out it line. Their leader was a brute, but smart. He didn’t trust anyone and had guards at night to protect him. Hence why the need for a mole. Your mission was to get close to the leader and assassinate him when the opportunity showed itself. But it was taking longer than expected and Jiraiya was now officially your kinda sorta reliable backup. If your assessment of the situation seemed bleak or if you were too into your cover, he’s there to pull you out or assist.

Now Jiraiya has never met you, but the stories he heard about you has him excited with some high expectations. You kinda take after him in a sense. You graduated to Jounin young at seventeen and the last nine years you’ve been doing these kinds of jobs. Espionage was a dying art done right. And you did it right. You specialize in undercover long run missions. You do well in integrating yourself into new communities and learning from them. You got the information you needed from people quickly, since they were quick to trust you. You are unassuming and careful. Some of the elders have compared you to Jiraiya in that regard. Your caution and planning was not to be underestimated. No one would suspect a pretty woman like you was incredibly deadly. But that’s the best kind! Beautiful and deadly was the sexiest combination. He’s looking forward to meeting his spiritual successor.

The cabaret was packed. The room was dim and smoky. There wasn’t any seats open aside a few at the bar. Everyone seemed abuzz with the show tonight. They kept whispering a name with excitement. The men were especially hopped up on the hype of this singer. Jiraiya steals a seat on a bar stool and cocks a brow at all this anticipation. Was this singer really such a show stop stunner? Or were people here that easily entertained around here? It’s easy to see he’s surrounded by hicks and wannabe gangsters. These peoples fun activities look like they mostly consist of toe picking and plucking at banjo strings.

Still so, if the gang leader here gets confident then more people will be in danger. There’s plenty of other farms and towns nearby. They don’t got a lot to protect themselves from a raid. It would be best to nip this in the bud before this group of bandits got too cocky. So why all this hold up on your end? If there was a problem Jiraiya intends to find out.

He gets a drink. He stays quiet as he sits back and listens to the chatter. His eyes scan over the crowd in search of the females in this establishment. Anyone of them could be you. You tend to gravitate to the low ranking jobs as to not stand out. He smiles at every pretty waitress that walks his way. Most of them smile back or raise a disgusted sneer. Some looked terrified. They tense when the patrons grab them, but they don’t fight it. It had a vibe to it that if they did resist there would be punishment.

It wasn’t long until the lights darken even more. Show lights beam and shine on the raised stage at the back of the room where everyone was staring. The red curtains flutter and wave with the obvious movement of a person behind them. The music starts. An arm peaks out of the middle of the curtains and drags slowly down the velvet material in motion with the song. A leg follows and it had a tall black heel.

It drove the crowd wild. A beautiful woman is attached to those limbs as she span out from behind the curtain. Her dress was black and sparkly. It was cut short and tight. The slow start to the music cut for a beat then started back up at a faster tempo. There was the sound of pounding on the tables as the men hit their drinks to the beat of the song.

The intro was embellished with spins and steps to an elegantly sexy dance that had her skirt flipping up. Jiraiya couldn’t really look away. Huh. This was different. A good different. His eyes didn’t want to leave the stage as this woman had him entranced. Then her lips parted and she sang.

Good god! She’s got the body, the face, the confidence, and the voice. This woman is a threat of a different kind. Probably cunning too! The glint in her eyes is both dangerous and flirty. She had this whole crowd at her beck and call.

... Why was he here again?

At the moment Jiraiya was finding it a little hard to remember. All he really cared about was watching this rather gorgeous woman. This wasn’t the first time he’s been fascinated by a woman, but this was the first time he’s wanted nothing more than to just... grab her. This instant attraction was new to him. He wants nothing more than to feel that body against his and listen to her breathe his name in his ear with that beautiful voice. He wants to feel her nails in his back and her body going tense as she cums. She’s just... wow.

The singer is now in the crowd. The patrons were pawing at her. She nearly smiles and gently pushes them off. Jiraiya nearly fell out of his chair when she came to him. He gripped the table as her hands pulled back his kosode then ran down his bare chest. It was still in beat and rhythm of the song. Her voice right beside him was beautiful. Her lips dragged by his neck and ear. It took all his self control to not grab her. She’s a performer after all. She must do this every night. It would be rude to interrupt her performance by holding her. He just feels good being the lucky guy that got felt up for the show. She pushed away from him, leaving him dazed and horny. The warmth and feel of her hands lingered on his skin for several moments. She did similar strip teases to other men in the crowd too. It seemed she targeted the ones who weren’t grabbing at her. She’s rewarding the good ones for containing themselves. He’s never been so happy to have been trying to keep a low profile. He’s absolutely smitten.

Her set of songs were very old fashioned. Things that were sang during war. The old shiny tunes that boosted a fighting man’s confidence as the singer must be singing of him and of home. It’s like he stepped through time while listening to her. He could almost smell the rain and smoke. Along with the crackle of the small pocket radio as it struggled to hold the signal. This type of voice was so rare and talented to sing such timeless things. But alas, it came to an end. The beautiful singer stood on stage and took a bow. There was a mix of cheering and chatter. People were yelling her name and throwing tips at her feet.

“Thank you all so much!” She yelled over the noise. “Remember! I’ll be here every night! You don’t gotta wait long to see me again!”

The crowd cheered as she exited the stage. Jiraiya followed her with his eyes as she went to a smoky little nook in the cabaret. She walked right up to what looked like the head honcho of this joint. Only two other men sat by him and they watched the crowd. They were especially on edge with anyone who walked a little too close. Yet they let her pass with no issues. From that alone it was safe to assume that this was the man that was leading the gang here. Most to all the patrons here were probably gang members. This was literally the belly of the beast. One wrong move and there’d be ninety people to fight.

An altercation began to go down. The singer suddenly stood back up and looked to be in a heated argument with the much larger man. He was burly for sure. Not someone a normal person can take. Jiraiya probably couldn’t even knock this dude out with a tackle. It would be like head butting a brick wall. Still the same his hackles raised when he saw this brilliant singer stand on the defensive. The man stood up and slapped her.

He stood up from his seat. She stumbled backwards but didn’t fall. She raised her head high in defiance and stormed off. That wasn’t pretty. Jiraiya looked between Mr. Burly and the door the singer went through. Burly looked a mix between pissed and satisfied. Some other patrons were looking at Jiraiya with a bit of a frown at his odd behaviour.

This isn’t professional. But a woman was in distress. Jiraiya weaved through the crowd, who didn’t bat an eye at the domestic abuse. That can only mean this is common around here. He cringed at that idea and snuck out the door. It led outside to the side alley of the bar.

You stand in the dark alley trying to cool off. You sniffle and hiss as you touch your tender cheek. It’s already sore from the hit. That bastard was lucky he was surrounded by his lackeys, or you would have killed him right then and there. It’s infuriating that you can’t hit back. You’d be offed for sure. And you’ve worked too hard to make a dumb slip up like that. But that didn’t make it any easier to swallow. In a perfect world, you’d have his head by now.

“You alright?” Someone asked from behind you.

You whip around, ready to fight. This is still a low life town. There’s been a few attempts by drunkards that tried to do something to you when you were alone. To which you beat them off of you. Ain’t no one gonna hurt you in such a despicable way. They were usually too piss ass drunk to remember anything clearly, so it wasn’t a big risk to beat them to a bloody pulp. Those who’ve tried are too ashamed to speak out. Women are still seen as second class citizens here and it’s considered a great shame if a woman gets the upper hand on any man in town. Some have even been killed for standing up for themselves. It’s a risk you are willing to take. Plus, no one had the balls to accuse the boss’ gal of anything. It’s the only good perk of this job.

But this man was no rapey drunkard or a suspicious murder. Everyone from Konoha knows who Jiraiya is, including you. He was sorta your inspiration for your approach to your military career. One of your exam papers was citing his missions and methods in a persuasive essay. It got you your title as a Jounin. To think the boys back home asked him to come check on you! It was a dream come true.

“Whoa!” Jiraiya raises his hands in surrender. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I just came to check on you. I saw what happened.”

You offer him a coy smile. It’d be too easy to just say who you are. “You aren’t from here are you?”

“... No.” His response was careful. You’d expect no less from him. “I’m just passing through.”

“On your way to where?”

He shrugs. “No where in particular. I just like to travel.”

Always on guard, isn’t he? His answers are deceptively vague. They sound interesting without telling you a single thing. It seems he was given no clues as to who you are in this town. He has little to no idea if you are his comrade or not. You strut closer to him. His breath stalls in his chest. He watches you the same way he watched you while you were on stage. There was a certain hunger and desire that he couldn’t hide in his eyes. He practically devoured you with his gaze when he watched you dance. He bit his lip and had a white knuckled grip on the bar when you teased him during your first number. He’s into you. It was fun to tease him.

You stand in front of him with only a little bit of space between your body and his. You look up at him. He was guarded. His arms folded in front of his chest, but his eyes looked over your lips with a clear interest. He looked better in real life than he did in pictures. You have his books and read them a few times. Each one had his picture on the inside of the back cover. It was interesting to see how he aged. It was graceful and appealing. It was clear to see he was older, but hard to pinpoint how old. Which is perfectly fine, isn’t it? Older men are pretty sexy. They’re experienced and wise.

“I guess I should have known that. I’ve never seen you before.” You speak again. “What’s your name?”

“Jiraiya.” He dropped his voice to be quiet. He unfolded his arms and leaned in closer. His fingers drag over your hips lightly. He’s never been so attracted to someone. “What’s your name?”

You tell him the fake name everyone in this town knows you as. He repeats it barely above a whisper. His brows twitch, like he didn’t quite believe that. He finally holds your waist. His hands heavy and warm on your hips. He pulled you against his body. It causes a jolt in your heart. A real flare of excitement that you haven’t felt for months.

“Tell me your real name.” Jiraiya whispered in your ear. “I know when someone is lying to me.”

You grip handfuls of his shirt and inhale sharply. He’s dominating too? This man is just suited for you. This maybe totally unprofessional, but this is really good! You’ve been flirting with a big ugly hairy mess of a man for months. You crave the attention from a real man like this. Attractive... powerful... amazing. Jiraiya felt like home. You finally had a piece of it back in your hands.

You move your hands up his shoulders and interlock your fingers behind his neck. You whisper your real name. It almost sounded unreal now. You haven’t gone by it in so long. Your lips graze against his. He says your real name and it causes a flurry of butterflies up your belly. Hearing him say it was arousing. It was better than erotica. You have never been so attracted to someone. He’s slowly revealing himself to be everything you’ve wanted in a partner.

His lips finally press against yours. It was soft... at first. Then Jiraiya pulled you harder against him. You pull on his neck to force him rougher on your lips. You part your lips when he does. Your tongue meets his in the middle. You fight for dominance with him on who gets to explores whose mouth first. As you do, you move your hands into his hair. It’s thick and wiry, making it the perfect anchor to grip onto. His hands travel down and back. He grips your ass hard. His fingers dig into that tender meat in just the right way. It’s rough but knew where to dig in to make it feel good. His hips rocked against yours with a single slow arch that expressed that need to want more.

You rut with him. You push your hips back agains his. Jiraiya won out on the battle and his tongue almost hit your throat. The strangled gasps and moans both you and him are the only noises he can focus on. When was he so into somebody where he had to just take them right then and there? He can’t recall. This is the most raw sexual chemistry he’s felt with someone. It’s they type of feelings he writes about but never truly felt. Now he found it with you and he doesn’t want to stop.

When you pulled back, there was a thin thread of saliva connecting your bottom lip to his. You grin and lick your lips. Jiraiya follows the motion of your tongue. The thread broke and hit your chin. He leans back in. He licks up the thread before kissing you again. This was too good to quit. Everything about you has him hooked.

“Wait a second.” You cut him off. You give him a quick peck on the lips to satisfy him for a few moments more. “Let’s do this in my apartment.”

“Hm?...” He hummed. He’s a little dazed. He didn’t mind going at it right here in the alley.

“I’m sorry, but someone could see.”

“And you don’t want that?” Jiraiya ventured a guess. He took a step back. He reached out and gently ran the back of his knuckles down the cheek that was already bruising. “You’d get more than a slap for fooling around with the mysterious traveller, right?”

That touch felt right. It was the most compassion anyone has given you in months. You are leaning into it and nuzzling your cheek against his fingers before you can stop yourself. A man has never made you so weak in the knees. You never had time for things like this. You were sent off for missions too frequently to find love. But this... this you like. This you want.

“That’s right...” You sigh.

You open your eyes. You didn’t even know you closed them. Now the correct thing to do would be to reveal who you are now. You’ve fooled around long enough with Jiraiya. But you also don’t want to. A gnawing thought at the back of your mind is telling you that he’d treat you differently if he knew who you were. He wouldn’t touch you anymore. It’d be curt and distant, like all shinobi are when they talk to one another. You crave this intimacy. You like him. Hell... you might even love him. He’s more handsome and compassionate then you’d imagine him to be. He’s so attracted to you too. It’s all to perfect and nice to stop now.

“I live in the yellow building a block away. Wait at least fifteen minutes before you follow me and take a different route.” You instruct. You step back towards the entrance of the alley. “I’m on the second floor on the right side of the building. I’ll have the window open but curtains closed. They’re red.”

Jiraiya looked a little gobsmacked at your plan. You whipped it up just like that? Almost like... you are a professional of a different kind. This kind of caution seemed above that of a weary singer. You turn and leave. You walk away calmly. He watches you with a curious tilt of his head. You are an intriguing woman. The type he wants a picture of just to look at and say damn. The type he finds himself watching walk away all too often. But with you, he’ll hold on. You are into him just as much as he is into you. Which is sorta a first for him. He’s usually interested in women who want nothing to do with him.

He spent the time gap back in the bar. He finished his drink and got some more reconnaissance in. He learned a little bit more about the structure of this town. Your stage name was being spoken back and forth. You still had a hold on these people despite not being there. Now that’s a power of a different kind. If you really wanted, you could be ruling this little town. And you were already in the lap of the mob boss. It seemed like the perfect couple dynamic. With the combined power of the attractive singer whispering in the ear of the leader, it’d be doomsday for anyone trying to overthrow the leadership. It’s another reason to tread with caution. Getting caught sleeping with the boss’ gal could mean losing his head. But it can’t be all that perfect if you’re sleeping with other men and getting slapped around. That’s a question he’ll save for later. Cuz if he’s got a chance, he wants to know about it.

Jiraiya pays his tab and leaves. No one noticed, which was good. It seems everyone was too tipsy to keep tabs on the strangers that hit their town. They are organized in some areas, yet so dumb in others. It’s honestly quite the amazing feat to have such a wacky balance. Perhaps these goons are just too dim witted to think beyond their orders. He walks around the back fo the buildings on the opposite street you probably took. He even goes and extra block and loops around to the back of the yellow building. If you were that concerned to ask him to take a different route, then he’ll oblige to the highest degree. There is a set of red curtains closed on the second floor. They blew into the apartment building with the soft night breeze.

It was easy to jump on the sill and peek in. You are facing away from him in front of a vanity set against the wall. Your stage makeup cleaned off and hair brushed out. Now you are pulling on the zipper on the back of your dress. You got half way when a set of warm hands take over.

The skin on Jiraiya’s hands were rough. Hard and callused from traveling rough terrain and handling battles. One hand pulled on the zipper while the other ran down your newly exposed skin. The straps of your dress fall off your shoulders. The material of your dress gets pulled down by his hands.

The dress hits the floor around your feet. You turn around slowly. You smile. Some nervous butterflies do fly around in your stomach. You are going to sleep with your idol. The man who inspired your career. And he was completely infatuated with you. His eyes are dilated and focused on you. He looks over your every curve. The only thing keeping you decent is your panties. You reach out and grab the sash holding his kosode together. It falls open to reveal his torso. It’s covered with a layer of the dark netted armour. Underneath it was a set of firm muscles. They were just as nice to feel this time as they were when you performed. His chest is moving quickly with a growing excitement.

Your hands are soft. Jiraiya sighs. He’s wound up and tense with anticipation. His pants feel tight. He reached out and cupped your cheek. He guided you to tilt your face up to meet his eyes. Where he then pressed his lips against yours. Your fingers play along his waistline while he kisses you. It tickles a little. That area of skin was sensitive on him. The tingly feeling from your fingers felt like it was traveling down to tease him.

Your hand does that for him a moment later. The kiss broke for only a moment when he moaned. Your gentle hand snuck under his pants and grabbed his stiffening cock. Your tongue prods against his. You move your hand back and forth, stroking him off. You pull his pants down with your free hand. You broke the kiss and look down to inspect.

“Do you like what you see?” Jiraiya chuckles softly. He leans down to make out with your neck.

“Only if you like what you see.” You answer.

“Heh.” He laughs against your neck.

You push him onto your bed. He sits with knees apart. You pull off his pants the rest of the way. You sit on your knees between his. Your hands naturally rest on his thighs. Oh... my oh my. It seems you’ll be fucked sore tonight. His cock is big enough to fill you up and bruise your insides. You may have to call in sick tomorrow. It’s just the type of fuck you need. You’ve dealt with enough unsatisfactory men in this town.

“Hn!” Jiraiya chokes on a gasp. He grips the back of your head. He leans back. He watches you suck him off with a growing blush. You look good with something in your mouth.

It’s been a while, he can admit that. Jiraiya isn’t exactly a lady killer no matter how many times he tries to pick them up. Honestly he’s still shocked that you agreed to do this. Such a beautiful woman should aim higher than him. You could get any man you want in this place and yet you picked him for a night of fun. It’s even got that extra flare of danger since you are the favourite of the boss. Who knows how dead he’ll be if anyone here found out. 

You are young too... he’s gathered by now that he’s old enough to be your father. Which is only turning him on more. Such a pretty young woman is falling into his arms. You still have a bit of that shiny young innocence in your eyes. But uh... it certainly doesn’t look innocent from this angle.

“Enough...” He lost his voice mid word. This feels blissful. But he wants more. He clears his throat and pulls you back. “That’s enough. Get up here and let me fuck you.”

You pull back slowly. You had his length partly down your throat. Jiraiya moans as your tongue and lips stay taught against his dick. Your lips suck and kiss the tip before releasing. He’s rock hard and eager to the point of precum beading at the tip. A man has never been so eager for you. It’s flattering and exciting.

The second you get to your feet, Jiraiya has his thumbs under the band of your panties. He pulled them off to your ankles. You step out of them. As you do, you raise your knees one at a time to sit on the bed. Your legs are pressed against his. Jiraiya holds on tightly to your thighs. His breathing is shallow and quick. His lips are parted as he looks between your lips and eyes.

You grab fistfuls of his hair at the back of his head. You press your lips against his. You hold his lips roughly against yours. Jiraiya digs his nails into your skin as you sink down.

“Ah...” You and him exhale at the same time.

He holds on to you as you move. You feel absolutely amazing. Hot and tight. You cry out in pleasure. Your body is pressed against his. Your nails scratch against his scalp. He’s gonna lose his mind doing you. Everything from your facial expressions to the smallest swivel of your hips has him lost in lust.

“Oh Jiraiya...” You hum his name and bite your lip.

He feels pretty good. It’s stretching you in a good sensational way. It’s hitting in places no one else has hit before. It’s pulsing and throbbing. He is rocking his hips eagerly against you. He’s moaning your name. His lips a little swollen from kissing you. They meet your neck again and his teeth nibble. His hands slowly move back to hold your ass as you began to ride him. His hips and upper body move with you to stay deep inside of you. He grunts and curses when your walls tense.

You eventually push Jiraiya to lay on his back. You planted your hands on his chest for better leverage as you ride him faster. His head throws back and he cries your name. His back arches off the bed. His legs twitch and toes curl. You kept going until you came. Where he took over. He rolled and pinned you underneath him. The fast pace he fucked you at was translating how much he loved this. His hips barely met your ass before pulling back. Your nails dig into his shoulder blades. To which he hissed from the blissful pain it provided. It’s better than he imagined.

Tears formed in your eyes when the second wave washed over you. He choked on a strangled moan as he buried his hips against you to savour that feeling. Then your legs were in the air while he sat up. Once that round had finished you were flipped over. Your cheek rested against the mattress as you clawed at it. He didn’t miss a beat between each one as he was too excited to ever stop. He held your hip while the other hand pressed on your neck to keep you still. The sounds you made were unrestrained and perverted. Even he wasn’t sure how many times he came by the time he was spent.

In the morning, Jiraiya woke up to the sensation of fingers on his chest. They ran up and down the indentation that defined his pectorals. When he opened his eyes he was met with the sight of you. Naked and barely covered by the sheets. When he smiled, you returned it. He didn’t even recall drifting off. He remembers rolling off of you after finishing. Then the combined panting of you and him catching breath. Everything felt so light and warm. He could float on the clouds and drift in calm sea he was so at peace. He felt like he was milked for all he was worth in the best way possible. It must have worn him out more than he realized.

Of course you felt the same. No man has ever fucked you that good. Your entire core muscle network was stiff. But stiff in that good way. Like after a good fight. You are a little battered and bruised, but you feel high off of victory. It feels like Jiraiya was made for you. Your heart pounds as you think about all the things he did to you last night. It’d be nice to do it again. But who knows if it will. You have to tell him eventually.

You soften Jiraiya up a little by kissing him. He gladly accepts your affection. He wraps his arms around you and keeps you firm against him. It’s easy to get lost in it. There’s something addicting about kissing him. They know when to be soft. They know when to be rough. They are smooth and plush after a night full of making out. They are even a bit pinker. The feeling will linger and tingle for a few hours. He’ll probably bite his lip all day wishing he could kiss you again.

“Promise you won’t get mad?” You ask.

“I doubt there’s anything you could say that’ll make me mad.” Jiraiya replied.

You kiss his chin and down his chest. You look up at him. “I am the undercover ninja from Konoha you are supposed to meet with.”

The pleasant smile on Jiraiya’s face drops. He frowns as he processes that slap in the face of information. You shrink down in shame. Lying to a comrade isn’t exactly honourable. Especially when you end up sleeping with them.

“Well... that makes a lot of sense.” Jiraiya finally said after a long pause.

He sat up, forcing you to sit up along with him. You straddle his lap looking for more. Was he mad? Did he take it the wrong way? You didn’t just do this to get sex. It sorta just happened. You were attracted to him like a moth to a flame. Like two magnets. You are stuck to him.

Jiraiya was a little conflicted. On one hand he’s happy there’s a chance of a longer relationship. It was depressing to think about how being hopelessly infatuated with the local singer would have brought him more misery. Even more so since that singer was the favourite of the gang leader that took over this place. He’d be chasing a dead end relationship that could kill him or you. But on the other hand he just slept with a coworker. A coworker he’s over twenty years older than. It was frowned upon and could blow the whole mission. If feelings get involved then he’d be fucked.

Yeah he’s pretty much fucked. He already knows that. Whenever he looks at you his heart races. It feels both right and wrong to be with you. It can’t just be lust... He barely knows anything about you. Yet he would like nothing more than to sit and learn about you. He’s never wanted that before with a one nighter... This wasn’t just for one night... right?

“I’m not mad.” Jiraiya told you. He looked at you and smiled. “So give me the short version. What’s your plan? And how can I help?”

You grow a smile yourself. You dance your fingers back up his chest up onto his shoulders. You intertwine your fingers together behind his neck. You lean in to kiss him. To which he still accepts. You lead him back down to lay on his back. His hands wonder down to grip and massage your ass.

“That’s a pretty good plan.” He joked. His hands travel up your back. He gently holds you back so that actual talking happens. He likes this, but there’s things at stake here. “But I want to hear the real one.”

“You’re probably right.” You sigh. It’s hard. You can’t get over how good he is. He’s even holding your cheek again and inspecting the bruise that formed. He cares. It’s been so long since someone cared. “I plan on gaining Rowen’s trust and killing him. Pretty simple.”

“Rowen? That’s the name of the guy who runs this place then?”

“That’s right.”

“And how do you plan on gaining his trust?” Jiraiya inquires for more information. It can’t just be that simple. He put a kiss on your cheek. Then down to your neck.

The feeling of his soft lips on your body is something you can’t get over. You shut your eyes and focus on the sensation. “Hm... You probably won’t like what I’m about to say.”

“Try me.”

Unfortunately, the only plan that made sense was to sleep with Rowen. Once you do, you’ll kill him in his sleep. He found you a challenge the moment you showed up. He wanted you. He promoted you from waitress to singer just watch you preform. He pulled you into his lap and dug his fingers into your thighs with a great need. He growled in your ear how he was going to take you to bed one day. 

You resisted and played the dangerous game. You refused him last night, hence why he slapped you. But you convinced him that you are harmless. Nothing but a simple small town girl with a feisty spirit. One he wants to break and control. He’s really into you. Which has made it easier control some of his movements since he was thinking with his dick rather than his head.

“I plan on giving in and apologizing to him. Where I’ll finally allow him to-!”

“To fuck you. Got it.”

You were right. Jiraiya didn’t like this plan. It’s unreasonable to be jealous. But he is. You basically just said that some perverted weirdo with a power complex has been trying to rape you for the last few months. He noticed the nail marks on your thighs and finger bruises on your hips. They don’t fit his and he’d never grab a woman that hard unless she was into it. Now he wants to kill this dude too. If you are being treated so poorly, imagine how the other girls get treated. That comment only seemed to motivate you more. The women in this town deserve to be treated like humans, not the toys of the gang. Your lips meet his jaw. You kiss down the length of it. It distracts him from his line of thought. He still huffs grumpily despite how good that feels.

“Don’t be like that.” You gently coo at him. “I’m not doing it to hurt you or anything.”

It was cute to see Jiraiya jealous. He has his lips curled into a tight frown. His cheeks are pink from being called out and his eyes are casted down. He looks like a pouty little kid. You rock forward and backwards, grinding yourself against him. His pout dies off as he groans. He becomes hard in a matter of minutes of teasing. You sit up just enough to slid his cock back inside of you. You ride him slowly.

“I’d say that I would be thinking about you the whole time.” You say with a teasing grin. “But that’d be disrespectful to your work.”

Jiraiya exhaled a laugh. Okay fine... you are pretty great. He holds your hips and lets you control the pace. There’s really no choice for him but to be okay with this. You are a smart woman. Cunning and sneaky. You’d have to be to be named his successor. It’s a risky plan. But you’d be okay. You would have to be to pull it off. One false word or move too early and you’d be killed... or worse.

“What can I do?” He asked. He looks you up and down, enjoying this view immensely. “I don’t think I should leave when you are so close to executing your plan. Who knows how the followers will react.”

“I am hoping they’ll crumble without their leader. They seem all too dependent on him.” You pause. You sink down all the way and grind from side to side. “Bu...” You trail off to moan. You hit that spot and the tip of it is digging in. “But it would be nice to have you as back up in case things go south.”

Jiraiya smirks. Okay so he’ll stay. He’s more than willing to do that. He pins you against his body before rolling over. He takes over with him on top. Now on his knees and you on your back. You keep your legs pressed against his and feet by his knees. You let your shoulders and back relax on the bed. He keeps ahold of your hips while he thrusts.

“I’ll follow your lead. If there’s anything you need to make this happen, I’ll do it.” Jiraiya said.

“Yes! Yes that sounds good!”

This is it’s own brand of dirty talk. Why was it so hot to hear that he’s not going anywhere? With him willing to follow your command? Maybe to stay in your bedroom awaiting your return every night. Or meeting him in alleyways with some blood and bruises speckling his body as he fights battles for you. Those rough battered hands holding you against the wooden wall while he kisses you. His lovely taste mixed with blood on his tongue. You grip the bed and your cries of pleasure fill the room.

The whole day was dedicated to this. You and Jiraiya spent hours in your bed. In between recovery time you talked. Jiraiya has lived an interesting life. It was nice laying your head on his chest and listening to him. His fingers would drag up and down gently on your back as he spoke of his experiences. All his successes. All his failures. He didn’t know why, but he found himself talking about his life. It’s something he’s never done. For some reason, he found it easy to talk to you. He could open up and just speak his mind around you. You listened... No one really listened to him like that. With compassion and understanding that made his throat constrict with emotions he once buried deep inside. It’s just.... nice to finally have someone to talk to again.

In turn you spoke of yourself. Born and raised in The Hidden Leaf. Your love of music started as a child. Both your parents were musical. With your mother a ninja and your father the conductor of the community concert band. She fell in love with him watching him conduct his band with such enthusiasm and excitement. He fell in love with her and her voice. She only sang for him as she was shy to show her talent. Then later she sang to you.

“What happened to her?” Jiraiya asked. “You talk about her like she’s gone.”

“She died.” You explain. You adjust in his grasp and tuck your face away under his chin. He tenses at your words.

“How?”

“She was one of the casualties of the Nine Tails attack ten years ago.”

Jiraiya gripped you harder. That attack hurt him too. He understood what it was like to lose someone to such a brutality like a tailed beast. He had no idea you lost someone too. From how you speak, it was clear you were close to your mother. He didn’t interrupt as you continued to speak about it. He stroked your head in a soothing and slow way to keep you in comfort as you talk.

Ever since then, you didn’t like to sing anymore. You used to with your mother and it’s now just a painful reminder that she’s gone. But when this job came around, you had no choice. It’s not fun singing the songs you sing on stage. It’s not like the songs you sang with your mother. It was your father who liked the older songs like that. He trained you to sing them since songs of war reminded him of mother. They were his favourite and she sang them for him. But it felt like a hollow reminder. He was desperate to find her in you. You sounded exactly like she did when she sang. It was sad and damaging to see your father only pay attention to you when you sang. He practically disowned you when you continued your career in the military. It killed your mother. It’ll only kill you. Maybe it’s why you like these missions. Ones that take you far away for a long time. Away from it all...

“What do you like to sing?” Jiraiya had to ask.

“I don’t know anymore.” Was your answer.

His chest moved with a deep breath. It rocked your body with the motion. He held you close and kissed the top of your head. He strokes your back and quietly apologized. You sigh and keep your face nuzzled in that space between his head and shoulder. Making you upset wasn’t his intention. He just wanted to know about you.

“Maybe I can help you find what you want to sing.” He whispered.

His statement brought a great amount of comfort. Jiraiya was officially the first person not to tell you that you should just get over it. He had similar pains to you, so he understood where others didn’t. You tilt your head up and kiss right under his ear.

“Okay.” You agree. Learning to love a hobby you once did wasn’t a bad idea. It already felt like he was the key to unlocking that adoration for singing again. Back when you were on stage, it looked like he was actually listening to you... it felt good for once. 

For a few days, Jiraiya stuck around in your apartment. He helped you break down the steps for your plan. He was an encouraging presence. He was wise and well versed in this subject. It was nice to have him support you throughout this tense process. But there was still a bit of an awkward energy between you and him.

The inevitability that this relationship will end soon was hanging around. Neither you or Jiraiya wanted to put a title on it. Lovers. Partners. Something in between. The moment it becomes defined is the moment it becomes too real. He made it clear that he was going to go his separate way from you once this was over. It would hurt too much to actually say how you feel. He didn’t say it either. But something shone in his eyes when he looked at you. That or you are too hopelessly desperate that he likes you like that too when he doesn’t.

It’s unrealistic. Jiraiya stayed up all night fighting with himself. He can’t ask you to be anything with him. You had a home. You had a career that you were still defining. He can’t just ask you to be with him. To run away and live how he does. Sleep under the stars or in strange beds around the world. Yet when he looks at you, especially when he watches you leave, the words rise and almost leave his mouth. Come with me... I love you.

He’s scared you’ll say yes.

He’s even more scared you’ll say no.

“I’ll give you until midnight.” Jiraiya said instead.

“Midnight?” You question.

“If you aren’t here by midnight, I’m going to come for you.”

You smile at him. That’s the most reasonable thing he’s proposed all day. Yesterday he suggested this completely over the top plan than involved him impersonating one of the guards and following you. Or making trouble and getting caught in hopes he’d be brought to Rowen while you were still there to give you some back up. Yeah you pointed out that those plans could go wrong very easily. However, it is still your mission. You insisted that you should do it alone without the interference of a worry wart. He’s not trying steal all the glory from you or anything. He cares. He wants you to be safe.

Tonight is the night you are going to kill Rowen. Jiraiya has been on edge and fidgety all day. He looked tired and plagued with too many thoughts. He still didn’t like you had to sleep with someone. He didn’t like that you were going in alone. There was plenty he didn’t like about this, but he helped you all he could without overstepping his boundaries. You hold his face and kiss him.

“Okay.” You simply agree. “I promise I’ll be out before then.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

“I know.”

Jiraiya bit his lip as you slid away. Your hands dragged along his arms. You held his hands for a few seconds before breaking free. You are wearing your sexiest dress with your sexiest undergarments. He felt a strange mix of pain, fear, and worry. It was all irrational since he knows you can take care of yourself. But you are still walking into the claws of a monster ready to devour you. He’s got a right to be a little bit on edge... right?

The darker night fell, the more anxious he got. Left alone with his thoughts made him high strung. The closer it got to midnight, the harder it got to breathe. He stared at the door. He glanced occasionally to the clock. The ticking of it began to sound like it was mocking him.

By eleven thirty, Jiraiya began to pace. His heart was hammering. By eleven forty, he was chewing on his thumbnail and staring at the clock. At eleven fifty, he couldn’t take it anymore. Was it insane to assume you’d be home by now? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Were you found out? He sucks in a sharp breath between his teeth. Okay. Okay he’ll just go outside and wait on the street. The sooner he can see you the sooner he can relax.

He opens the door and nearly jumps. His high strung body tensed with the expectation to block or counter at the sight of a person in front of him. Then his brain catches up a second later. He recognizes this figure. You. Thank god its you! You are alive! But not unharmed.

You watch Jiraiya’s relief turn into worry and horror. You really aren’t okay. Your dress is ripped and bloody. Your stockings are worse with rug burns and cuts on your knees. Your lip is split open and swollen. There’s a few cuts on your face and neck. He says your name im shock as you fall into his arms. You cling onto him and sniffle back your tears. There’s instant comfort when he holds you.

“What happened?” He asked. He slowly sunk to his knees with you in his arms. From there he could pull you closer into his lap.

“I-I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t have sex with that man.” You explain in a small shaky voice. “When I backed out, he got so... mad. I didn’t have any real weapons a-and I struggled with how much stronger he was. He took me by surprise and I reacted too slowly.” You press your forehead on Jiraiya’s chest. Your voice drops to a whisper. “But I got him... he’s dead.”

“Were you....” Jiraiya couldn’t even speak the word. A lump formed in his throat. The idea of it was awful enough to imagine.

“No... No I wasn’t hurt like that.” You offer a bit of ease. “I got him before he could do anything more to me.”

Your story made bubbles rise in Jiraiya’s throat. He’s mad enough to froth from your experience. You went through hell. It’s disrespectful to curse the dead... but what a scum bag that burly bastard was! Truly disgusting. How could anyone be so cruel to a nearly defenceless woman? It’s by some good fortune that you are quick on your feet and a calculated fighter. Any other girl in this town would have suffered a worse fate. You are a hero. You shake your head in denial when he called you that. This didn’t feel very heroic. Taking a life is never really a heroic act.

”No... It isn’t. But you saved plenty of other people from the same thing.” Jiraiya offered some words of comfort. He’s done enough of these kinds of hits to understand this line of thinking. He didn’t like it either. 

He picked you up from the floor. You are shaky and upset. Which isn’t a weakness. While it’s expected for shinobi to be emotionless, it doesn’t mean it’s required. Nor is it normal. Hell, all of Jiraiya’s life choices in the military has been dictated by his emotions. It’s what makes humans human after all. Any sane person would be shaken by this experience. He wasn’t even there and he feels your pain. 

Jiraiya gets you cleaned up of the blood all over you and changed. He had to bite back his anger when he saw the state of your skin. Getting worked up over it might upset you more and he didn’t want do that. The nail marks were plenty. There’s bruises forming along your thighs and shoulders. The band of your bra was pulled on so hard it cut your back. It’s a good thing that nasty person was dead. Or else he’d kill that bastard for hurting the woman he loves. Jiraiya took great care in wrapping your wounds in bandages. He got you into bed and joined you. You held onto him all night while you calmed down. You do fall asleep, if only because the encounter earlier was so draining. But Jiraiya didn’t sleep. He stayed up thinking.

The next day was liberating. The brigands were confused and scared. They didn’t discover Rowen’s body until the morning. At the sight of their leader dead, most did disband. They ran back to the woods they descended from. They scattered and their hierarchy fell. The few who tried to stand their ground were overtaken by rallied townspeople. They saw their opportunity to stand when there was panic and fear among their tormentors.

“Well... you were right.” Jiraiya said.

You and him were watching the chaos from the roof of the yellow building. He has his hand on yours. You were pretty quiet. You have been since you woke up.

“It seems like they can take care of themselves.” You say. You turn and look at your... something. He’s not quite a lover or a significant other. “My mission is a success... I... I can go home now.”

“Yeah...”

“Where will you go?”

He sighs. He looks at you with a form of apology. “I don’t know. I never have a place in mind when I travel.”

You grip his hand. “Is this goodbye then?”

“Don’t think about it like that.” Jiraiya pulled on your hand to force you to step closer. You are teary eyed and sad. He wiped away the tear that fell down your cheek. “I never say goodbye. It sounds like it’s forever.”

He paused. He leans down. His lips meet yours. You hold onto him. It never changed. It still felt exciting and right to kiss him. When he breaks it and steps back, there’s already a void. You miss how it feels to be near him.

“I....” Jiraiya’s mouth hangs open as he hesitates on his words. “I’ll miss you.”

It’s really happening then. Jiraiya isn’t coming home with you. You hoped he would. Yet that idea also scares you. When you met him a week ago, you had no idea you’d fall in love. It happened so fast. People say they fall gently in love when really it’s like tripping and careening off a cliff. It’s scary, fast, and a complete surprise. Whether Jiraiya is there to catch you at the bottom or not is the question that’s still unknown. But it’s starting to feel like you’ll be falling forever with no one to catch you.

“I’ll miss you too.” You say quietly.

Perhaps it’s best to learn to let go. If he didn’t want to stay with you, then you shouldn’t push it. It looks as if love just wasn’t meant for you. 

Jiraiya was gentlemanly enough to walk you to the entrance of the town. He had to head in the opposite direction. You hold on for as long as possible. You kiss him and savour the feeling. He indulged in it as well. He held your waist as he kissed you. It’s hard to let go. But... it’s all the what if’s that are scaring him. He’s fallen in love again. It’s so late in his life that it didn’t feel fair. To you or him. After plenty of thinking he convinced himself it’s best to let go. He was wrong before. He keeps chasing things he shouldn’t have. Don’t fall for the woman he could have raised himself because he’s so much older than her. Don’t fall for the girl focused on her career. Don’t fall for the girl... even if you are in love with her. There’s no way you could give her the same things as other men. Don’t ya know better by now?

When you left, he stared at your back for a long time. You eventually disappear over the horizon. For a long... long time Jiraiya stood there. He didn’t want to take a step away from you. At least just staying in the town meant he wasn’t farther away. He spent the night at the bar. The cabaret he met you at was busy with a different crowd. The stage was lively with the locals celebrating. They danced and sang. They were getting plastered as the drinks were on the house in celebration of liberation. That stage looks so different without you on it. Your stunning image shining on the platform and you beautiful voice echoing around the room. It was empty without you. He picked and prodded at his drink, not feeling much of an appetite to even get drunk.

Jiraiya spent hours trying to convince himself he’s doing the right thing. But if it’s right, why did it hurt? He’s getting tired of doing the right thing and having it hurt. It’s like giving himself up piece by piece to other people and getting nothing in return. All he’s really got left is his heart. And it’s aching for you.

He shuts his eyes and sees you. Your pretty eyes. Your smile. Your face. Your honey sweet silky smooth voice whispering in his ear. The way you hum when you drift off to sleep in his arms. The feeling of your hand stroking his chest. Your leg caressing up his.

Comforting you when you cried. Learning about your past. The sense of security when he told you his. The way you accepted it and comforted him... no one did that for him before. Feeling that rage surge in his blood when he saw you hurt. Feeling childish with jealousy when other men pawed at you during your sets. It’s just... nothing he’s ever felt before. These emotions are so intense. It was as if the moment you touched him, you reached his heart. Everything you did affected it.

It’s not like him. He’s Jiraiya! A man that’s not supposed to pine for women anymore. It hurts too much! He can’t do this again!

So don’t.

There’s a voice of reason somewhere in his head. Jiraiya frowns as it began to undo the excuses he focused on. The ones he convinced himself that you can’t be the woman for him... no matter how he feels. You couldn’t possibly feel the same because of these things.

She’s too young.

Really? Because you seemed to like that about her. And is it really a big deal? She’s smart and mature for her age. Smoking hot too! Ain’t she just the right type of lass to be your one and only research material? She even reads your books! She’s perfect!

She’s got a whole career ahead of her.

So? She can work on it and refine it with you. You’ve always had missions that require skills like hers. Wouldn’t it be nice to work with someone on your level again?

She’s got a home in the village.

... Homes don’t have to be the structure or place one comes from. You could be home.

What if she has someone else?

Okay now you’re just bullshitting yourself. She’s done nothing but be into you and want you since you met her.

Why do I do this to myself?

Because you realize too late that it is okay to be happy. You can be happy with her. You were happy with her. So go be happy with her.

Isn’t it too late? I pushed her away.

It’s never too late. There’s always a chance. You know she feels the same. She’ll take you back.

“Gahhhh!” Jiraiya cried out in frustration at his own mind. He plunked his face onto the bar. It thunked dully on the wood like his head was made of the same material. It the moment it really felt like that.

Is this what breaking up feels like?

All you want to do is curl up in the comfort of your home. With blankets and pillows. With ice cream and alcohol. You want to look at the pictures of Jiraiya you have. Which was only in the books he authored. You wanna read his books and cry. You wanna hug your dusty pillows and wish it was him. You miss how warm he was. How he smelled. His thick lovely locks and how they felt in your hands. His deep voice that’s so easy to listen to.

“So how was Jiraiya?” Hiruzen, Lord Hokage himself, brought you out of your thoughts. “I certainly hope my student was pleasant to you. I know how he can get sometimes!” He laughed happily at his joke.

At the moment you were standing in the Hokage’s office. Your leader wanted you in person to give the play by play on your mission. Disbanding a whole gang was a great achievement. One that not many in the ninja world can brag about.

“He was...” You trail off. Even talking about him makes you want him. And while you do like this sagely old man, you don’t want to blab about your feelings. Or give him the details on all the extracurricular activities you did with his student. You smile even though you don’t really feel like smiling. “He was great. He really helped me pull this off.”

“Really? That’s good to hear.” The older man was surprised. “He was rather... how to put this.” He grinned with a lifetime of recollection of his most rascally student. “Snarky when he replied to my message to provide you back up. He doesn’t like to work with people very often. It’s nice to hear he gets along with one of our brightest.”

You beam at his words. Being called bright by the Hokage is high praise. “Thank you, sir.” 

“He sent another message.”

You raise your head. Your brows furrow. What could he mean? Hiruzen is smiling with a knowing that is easy, yet hard to place. He always gave off that very wise but cryptic vibe. Friendly but not one that should be crossed. Especially when it comes to his children, students and blood alike. He pulled out a piece of paper and read it over silently.

“I’ve never seen Jiraiya speak so highly of someone.” He said with that same smile. “He’s recommending you get promoted to something else. Special Ops or something to the like.”

Oh Jiraiya... He really said that? You can feel your cheeks get warm. All of you gets warm. Hearing him say that he recommended you made you get those warm fuzzies. He gave you warm fuzzies. You long to see him. Sigh. Why did he say goodbye? While he said it wasn’t goodbye... it did feel like you wouldn’t see him again. The relationship ended before it began because of the fear of starting it. And that it ended for good.

You slowly open your mouth to speak, intending on politely declining an offer like that. It didn’t feel truly earned. While Jiraiya had your best intentions in mind, it would feel better earned if you gained a promotion by yourself. A ruckus just outside the door halted you. The Hokage’s Estate doesn’t usually have ruckus. When it did it usually meant something bad was happening. You look over your shoulder as the noise got closer. It was a mix of heavy quick footsteps and exclamations from the staff being pushed.

“Hey watch it!”

“What the hell?!”

“Ow! That was my foot!”

These were some of the things being yelled. Among that was cursing and more thunks. The door was flung open. Your body goes tense and you gasp. Your heart feels like it’s beating and flying all around your chest with an anxious excitement. Your eyes lock with his and it all felt like things were meant to be.

“I need to talk to you.” Jiraiya announced. He was frazzled and out of breath. He tore cheek to get here as quickly as possible. He looked like a mad man running around the village in search of you. He tried everywhere and of course, this was the last place he thought of. In his haste, logic failed to enter his head. Like duh! Where else does a ninja go when they finish a mission? The god damn estate! He’d kick himself right now if he could.

“I’m in the middle of something.” Hiruzen spoke, confusing this comment for him.

“Not you, old man!”

Only Jiraiya could get away with speaking so harshly to the Hokage. The older man was unimpressed but not surprised by his student’s disrespect. Ain’t nothing new, but what is new is Jiraiya wanting to speak with someone he worked with. What business could he still have with you? It must be important if he came all the way back here. Hiruzen sat back and watched this unfold with interest.

The moment Jiraiya focused back on you, he smiled. He walked towards you and stopped a fraction from colliding with you. You reach out and rest your hands on his chest. The warmth of his skin was good to feel again. The beat of his heart could be felt in your hands. His hands rest on your hips. It was good. It was everything you missed.

“I told you it wouldn’t be the last time you saw me.” Jiraiya said with a small laugh. 

It feels right to hold you again. It’s all he could think about since you left. Seeing your face again along with that pretty smile of yours has put the worry he had at ease. It was hard to sleep at night without you. It was hard to imagine even sleeping alone even though he’s done it all his life. It was good with you there. It’s not good with you not there. He was so restless he traveled throughout the night to get here quicker. Now that he was near you again, he could drop here and fall sleep. His worried heart is at peace.

“Why did you come?” You ask him quietly. It’s hard to believe he’s here. He’s holding you again and looking at you with that expression that caused goosebumps along your skin.

“I needed to tell you how I feel.”

You stare into his eyes, searching for what he wants. It’s hard to tell what it is, but it’s shining with a real honesty. Your heart is pounding.

“And what do you feel for me, Jiraiya?” You ask.

A part of you is still afraid to know. But the rest of you wants to know. If he feels how you feel then it should be fine. More than fine! It’ll be everything you want. He pulls you against him. Your body pressed against his. You raise your hands up to lock your fingers behind his neck. It’s a strange echo of the first time you and him kissed. He leans down until his lips a a fraction from yours. The ends of his bangs tickle your cheeks.

“I’m in love with you.” He uttered softly.

Those words steal your breath. It’s everything it’s supposed to be and more. There’s tonnes of weight lifting off of your shoulders. That sense of hopelessness and sadness had left. There’s a flood of joy strong enough to banish the pain of being away from him.

“I love you too.” You say even softer. You can’t find your voice to speak any louder. Not that you needed to. These words are only for him.

You pull on his neck to close the distance. How you longed to kiss Jiraiya again. It’s just as good as it was the first time. Maybe better now that you knew what it was like. You rise on your toes and press yourself harder against him. Your fingers run through his hair. His hands run up and stroke your back.

At the same time as him, you pulled back. You are breathless and panting. Jiraiya is too. He sighs quietly with a sense of relief. You do feel the same! He feels foolish for hesitating and elated that this went as well as it could have. You are showered and accepting of all the kisses he keeps giving you. After a few moments both you and him are reduced to quiet giggles. The same amount of giddiness was felt by you and your partner. Lover. Beloved. Dearest. He’s all these things to you. You are all these things to him.

“This explains quite a lot!” Hiruzen’s jovial voice cut the mood.

You stood there flushed as the Hokage exclaimed how happy he was that two of his most brilliant spies had fallen in love. Jiraiya was about fifteen shades of red in the face as he stood there in the office with you. He’s embarrassed of the grand gesture he pulled in front of his teacher. He usually didn’t cause scenes like this. Nor did you. Both you and him are used to staying in the crowd. Always quiet and blending in. Suddenly having attention was horrifyingly different. You hold his hand. He refused to let it go and squeezed yours tightly. It was the only comfort he had as Lord Hokage was practically asking when the wedding is. This maybe absolutely embarrassing, but it went well. You had him and he had you.

That night Jiraiya took you on a real date. No bars. No sneaking around. No jumping through windows or walking around buildings. Just you and him out on the familiar streets of Konoha. After a nice dinner, you took him back to your apartment. He was quick to undress you and throw you in bed. He crawled on over top of you with a big grin. You held onto him, finding that grip in his hair. His hands traveled down your sides and rested on your ass. He kissed some of the healing wounds on your body, slowly making his way to your lips. Your lips and his barely left each other. On the rare occasion they did, it was to take in air or moan each other’s names. It was a night of absolute bliss.

Ever since then, you and Jiraiya have never been parted. It took a little bit of paperwork to be filed under a different title with different freedoms, but you were able to travel with him. You are now an S Rank ninja with loyalty to a village. You could run free while still being able to make a difference in the world. Your career in spying and espionage was well refined with Jiraiya there to help you out. It was so easy to follow his lead, or he’d fall in stride to yours. No one thought to question the authenticity of the stories and covers you weave with your darling second half.

As the year keeps going, Jiraiya notices something. He doesn’t bring it up out of fear it would stop. Your singing was a precious gift rarely enjoyed. It meant a lot when you started to sing around him. Quiet and poetic songs that you sing while doing mundane tasks. Whether it’s preparing dinner or packing up camp, your lovely voice filled the usually quiet moments of life. You began to do it more while cuddling with him. Your soft hums while laying with him filled his ear. It was the perfect lullaby to fall asleep to. You sang a pattern of nas and las when sitting in his lap while he wrote. Your finger curling a section of his hair while you sang your gentle tunes. It was his definition of peace.

It quickly grew to comfort him. The sound of your singing could bring him down from a severe rage or a chest crushing panic attack. On the occasion where he couldn’t compose himself and it all got too much he needed to hear the gentle hums of his beloved. Jiraiya could find it through the storm of overtaking emotions that deafened him to all other sounds. You were the calm in the storm. The one thing that could break apart through everything. You are his siren. But you don’t lure him away to drown him. You lure him to make him better. And when he was upset, he needed you. When nothing else would do it he went to you. He put his arms around you and whisper one request.

“Sing... please.”

You always comply. You open your mouth and sing whatever came to mind. Singing wasn’t a painful reminder anymore. It was a celebration. It brought you the man you love. That’s all it reminded you of now. Not of the love you lost, but the love you gained. Your mother would have been proud. She would tell you that singing to the one you love was the purest form of expressing how much you love them.

Jiraiya was your everything now. When you sing, you sing for him. You sing about what it’s like to be with him. Even if you can’t form the words, you know what it means. He does too. It means more than just saying it.

Jiraiya has a good singing voice... No matter how much he says he sucks. He flushes so red and grumbles something about sounding like one of his toads. Or that the dogs must be howling. But he always tries. He wants to express his love for you as you do and wants to do it together.   
  
It’s not as bad as he thinks. He’s just unpracticed, that’s all. It’s a sweet gesture. It’s made even more sweet with the added fact that he’s incredibly timid about it. Jiraiya is so shy about this that he’ll only sing with you when he knows you and him are alone. Its only meant for your ears anyways. You smile at him as he harmonizes with you. His face red and face cringed in concentration. His mouth open as he holds a wavering note. You hold his hands just as tightly as he holds yours. You smile as you sing with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to play on the fear of like falling in love since reader hasn’t been in a relationship before so she’s like wigging about the unknown. And you kno Jiraiya is a lil self destructive lmao poor baby he does his best. So I am hoping that I hit the nail on the head with that aspect. So I hope I did well it ended up being a bit darker then intended but I’m pretty happy with it.


	37. Banging The Local Cryptid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While on assignment to take photographs of The Mysterious Everglades, you see many things. While not a believer in the supernatural yourself, a certain toad like creature decides to prove you wrong and wants one thing from a pretty mate!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao I like teased this one like a month ago with Toad Mode pt 2 and I finally finished it. It’s a quickie, but I do got like an SCP inspired type of sequel in mind if anyone is interested lol. I just wanted to do something different than the normal storybook type monsters.

You’re a photographer for a wildlife protection organization based in New York. Your job is to travel to exotic places and snap photos of endangered species. It lead to some fun and unique experiences. You met interesting creatures. You swam with sea turtles. You sat at the edge of watering holes with elephants. You hung on trees with sloths and became the perches for macaws. It seems animals had a natural draw to you. You love them and happy your job helps them.

You are blessed to have a very rich but mysterious founder who visits the media office you work at often and is excited to hear your stories. He was an interesting man. Tall and thin. With pale skin and long silky black hair. He wore nice suits. He had many ambitions. He owned and funded many scientific facilities that focus on getting animals off of the endangered list. It’s a noble goal. But he always gave off an odd vibe. He asked lots of questions about the weirder things you’ve seen. It seems like he was a true believer in the weird and unusual. Like monsters and aliens. You however, are more skeptical of such things. The human brain is a tricky thing and will make up things. All these monsters are a result from local superstition. Some stories more popular than others. It’s probably just an animal doing something that a human brain took out of context and in confusion.

At the moment, you are on assignment in the deep swamps of The Everglades. There’s going to be a statement piece about the nature of the strange area and your boss backed it. He commissioned you to take the photos for the project. It’s a place full of mystery and is apparently host to many cryptids. It was a spooky place. The deeper you go the more wild it gets. Just off putting with all the loud nature noises and real isolation from the untameable foliage. And the heat! The heat alone was probably enough to trick people into seeing things! It’s a gross kind of heat where the humidity just stuck to your skin and it felt like it was cooking your brain.

After a large drink of water, you return to your sightseeing. Your little rowboat was drifting slowly along the river. You grab your camera and bring it up to your face. You turn to focus the lens as you look around to the trees and thick bushes for any sort of creatures. Your assignment wasn’t really special. Just gather a few rolls of pictures for the project. They didn’t ask for anything in particular other than the natural beauty of the somewhat dangerous swamp. The Everglades is full of life! It hasn’t been hard. And there’s no Bigfoots or Mothmen about. Nor a big stinky ape that’s apparently lived there for years. The scariest and rarest thing you’ve seen was a Florida panther. You even got a good snap of it! That’ll make the boss happy. It maybe no monster but the Florida panther was a threatened species.

Before you know it, the sun is starting to set. Even more bugs were biting you with the heat dropping enough for them to emerge. Crickets are beginning to sing their tunes. Same with the toads. You’ve seen plenty by the banks today. Hm... must be mating season. But you got to take plenty of pictures of them! You’ve seen plenty of grumpy looking males sitting by the water alone, awaiting a mate to come their way. Heheh poor suckers. Unfortunately, you don’t have the tech with you to take quality night shots. It was too much to pack in your bag. The boat was fairly small. It couldn’t hold all of your equipment anyways. It could barely fit you and another person.

It’s time to head back to your hotel. It’s a long way back and you’ve already stayed too late. You began rowing backwards. To not further add to habitat destruction, you stuck with the rowboat. No gas or motors for you! Plus the noise pollution would have scared off the animals. It’s not so bad. Just a sick arm workout. A half hour into your journey home, something went wrong.

Your right oar got stuck. Uh oh. You yank. Something pulls back. Uh oh. You pull harder with both hands. No dice! The waterweeds were a big fan of your oar. Or maybe a very confused alligator. There’s been a few munches on your boat today from the hungry creatures attempting to eat the wood. But they’ve left your oars alone. It’s like they were just messing with you now! The handle slipped from your grip and flew into the murky water.

Shit!

Now what?

You watch the water. Your oar is lost forever. It’s going to be twice as much work to row yourself back to the dock! That problem maybe the least of your worries as something pale skims the water for a moment. It doesn’t look like any sort of creature you’ve seen before.

The dark water moves again. The nature around you has gone silent, a sign that there’s a predator nearby. You are but a human who has no heightened instincts and your guard raises from the strange atmosphere. A grey object began to float to the surface. A gasp of surprise leaves you when a pale hand bursts through the water. You jump back and crawl to the other side of your boat. The fingers grabbed the edge of the boat. They’re webbed. Thin translucent sheets of red tinted skin webbed it’s fingers together. Long sharp nails grip into the wood as it hoists itself up. The boat tips, but your weight counteracts it from tipping over. A curtain of thick white hair hides the face of the creature as it emerges. It’s body is big. At least over six feet. All of it was defined muscles. And uh.... it appeared to be a boy. His dick simply hanging free in the breeze.

There were inhuman features as well. His feet were clawed and webbed as well. The vertebrae of his spine was more pronounced down his back. There are gill looking slits along its ribs. A thin layer of skin moved up and down over the red plates underneath as if gasping for air. Faint red stripes decorated his body. Like old painted Japanese art. With swirls and waves. The pattern was symmetrical with the red lines matching up if the line of symmetry was down his body horizontally.

He lifted his head and the hair split apart to reveal the face. He had a profile that belonged on a coin! Strong and pointed. He turned his head to face you. A set of black flat pupil eyes stare at you. They dart around to take you in as quickly as possible. Red lines ran down his cheeks from his eyes. Another set of lines started at the inner corners of his eyes. They went down for an inch or so before taking a hard right angle to draw a line away from the centre of his face and across his cheeks to the hairline. His nose was a little wide with raised bumps like a toad’s skin. He had the bumps on a few parts of his body actually. A few on his elbows and knees. Same with his shoulders and by the raised vertebrae of his spine. He looks like a cross between a man, a fish, and a toad. And if he had the normal clock of a human, maybe to look to be in his thirties?

“Grarwl?” He made a noise. Like a cross between a croak and a moan. He tilted his head in question.

“W-What? What do you want?” You stammer out. This creature barely computed in your head. It’s a monster! They do exist! Or at least one does! Some sort of toad man was eyeing you up.

“Waaannnttt...” he slowly drawled out the word. His voice is deep and truly croaky. His brows go down in confusion.

So it can talk? Just how intelligent is this thing? He seems to understand at some sort of level. You freeze up as the monster approaches you. There’s no malice or anger in his surreal eyes. Just curiosity. The type of pure curiosity like that of a child or puppy.

“Want? Want. What want?” He parroted the words at you. He smiled to reveal rows of sharp teeth. “Want want want want want!”

This is confusing. What does he want? The creature was squatted on his knees. He wrapped his wet strong arms around your back. His nose squished against yours. His breath smelt like.... blood. Animal blood most likely. Unless he has a taste for human? Was this the end? Is this strange abnormality going to eat you?

“Graw....” The creature moaned again. It’s clearly that of lust. “Want!”

O-Oh! That’s what he wants? Heat rises to your cheeks. He wants to fuck. The croaks of toads grew louder. Is he on the same cycle as his amphibious friends? It sounds like they are egging him on. His breathing gets heavier. His head buried between your boobs as he groaned.

“Want!...” He moaned again. He looked up at you and blinked curiously. “Want?”

Oh... was he asking you? It looks like this creature is aware enough to know what consent is. Just how smart is he? What can he learn? Just.... Just so many questions! You glance down to his stiffening cock, then back to his eyes. He just awaits your reaction. He’s got a nice size on him. And hey, just how many opportunities are out there to fuck a cryptid? Not a lot.

Hm.

Fuck it. He’s pretty attractive.

You caress his jaw and hold his head. “Want~!” You reply in a sultry voice.

“Ah! Want!” He was thrilled! His face lit up with excitement. The creature sat down on his knees and straightened his posture. He looked you up and down. His hands grab your thighs on the fabric of your shorts. He looks at your crotch in confusion. His lips pulled back into a tight line as he stared at the seam where a hole should be.

The concept of clothing is confusing him. You giggle. What a cutie! You unbutton your shorts. You pull them down. Realization hits the creature and he grabs them. Your legs fly up as he pulls them off upwards. Your heels land on his shoulders and he rubs your bare leg as he inspects your panties with the same amount of critical thinking. He figured it out. With confidence, the cryptid pulls on your panties. He grabbed it by the waistband and pulled. You maneuver your leg to pop your foot out of the leg hole before setting it back down on his shoulders. He blinked in wonder at what lay between your legs.

“Do you know what to do? I imagine it’s pretty self explanatory.” You ask with a bemused smile. You reach down and touch yourself. He watches in fascination.

“Oh...” he hummed. He liked watching this. Watching your fingers rub and dive inside of you sent tingles in his stomach and something warm pooled in his pelvis. He curiously touches himself. “Ah...” Thats good.

It’s exciting him. His free hand grabs your leg and he pulls you closer. He pants through his parted lips as he stroked himself off to the same pace as you. You grab his hand and bite your lip. The smile he gives you is drunk with lust and he tilts his head in question. Why make him stop?

“Put it in. I want!” You tell him.

The creature gasps. He does as you request. He puts his hand under your lower back and pulls you towards him. He moves his hips at the same time. You cry out as you get speared on the monster’s length. He sits there for a few moments just breathing. His expression looks lost. Almost hazy in the pleasure your pussy was providing him. What a wonderful feeling. He looks down at you. You look at him. You’re panting too. Your legs are tense. This was turning out to be very fun. You are the perfect mate for him.

You grip the sides of the boat. You can’t restrain your cries as he began to thrust. He held your hips as he moved his. He can’t help but stare in wonder at you. The feeling this was giving him was insane! Does it always feel so good? The wonderful thing between your legs was so tight and wet. It’s squeezing his cock in the right way. It feels better than anything he’s ever done for himself. And the noises you make! He wants to listen to them forever!

The power behind his thrusts were hard. His skin slaps against yours and ripples up your spine. The cryptid is fucking you with fully enthusiasm and strength. You’ve never had it so good! God, it was like this monster was made for you! If only you knew it’s name! You’d be screaming it to the high heavens. He bent over top of you, forcing you to bend in two. You keep your legs on his shoulders. The fit feels even tighter with your legs forced together from this angle.

The boat is rocking wildly with the motions. You chance letting go of the sides to hold his face. He looks confused by the action, but likes it. Your hands are gentle and dry. They hold his jaw and cheeks in such an affectionate way. He stares at you curiously. You don’t break eye contact as he makes you cum. You go stiff and squeal a high pitched note. He pauses in surprise.

“Grawl?” He chirps the question if you’re okay.

“Ah!.. Keep going!” You beg him. “Want! Want more!”

Your monstrous lover moaned at your insistence and continued to fuck you. He grabbed the back of your thighs and spread them apart. Your legs fall off his shoulders and rest on his forearms. You don’t have any strength to keep them up anyways. They are shaking from the strain he’s putting them under.

The stamina of this creature was godly! He didn’t slow down for anything after your request. Since he gave you no name, all you screamed was the word ‘want’ over and over. You could barely breathe in between each thrust to do so. You probably won’t be able to walk after this pelvis pounding session. But you really don’t care. This is the best sex you’ve ever gotten, and it’s from a humanoid. You would have believed in them sooner if you knew this is what they can do!

He gasped before resting his face on your chest. His fingers dig into the flesh of your back. He chirps and cries like the amphibians he resembles. The points of his sharp teeth graze your skin, but never pierced it. He’s never had a mate before! It’s better than how his toad friends explain it to him. Their croaks that sang along the shoreline encourage him to keep going until he’s had his fill. He’s not sure when that’s going to be.

You push on his shoulders. He follows your lead and sits up. You hold on and sit up with him. You unhook you’re shaky legs from his arms. He whines and grabbed your hips when you pulled away from him. It’s unfortunate but you had to in order to flip over. The wood of the boat meets your knees and you hold onto it. If this is for mating purposes, then might as well commit to the most primal position.

Your beloved monster didn’t need to be told what to do. His nails dig into your hips to the point of drawing blood. He anchored you to your spot with his brute strength. His hips start up again at a blinding pace. The wet sound of his pelvis hitting your ass was loud enough to echo in the river. It’s as intense as it sounds. His dick is hitting all the right places inside of you. He’s fucking you hard enough not just to feel it up your spine, but all the way to tingle your brain stem. Your shoulders become tense and knotted from the strain. You’re close to falling over and just going limp from exhaustion just to take it. You’re getting fucked silly at this point. He’s moaning in unrestrained pleasure from how good you feel to him. It’s hard to breath.

Then your body goes stiff again. The warm wet walls that chambered his cock contracted around him for a tighter fit. That feeling pools in his belly again like his abdomen wants to fold in on itself. His breath hitches with a new overwhelming sensation.

Everything in your body tenses again. You hold your breath. Your face furrows in pleasured concentration. Your beloved monster gasped in a sharp breath and his hips jerked out of rhythm. You cry out with him when his hips burrow against your ass. Every inch is hard and throbbing with that building need now fulfilled as he finished inside of you. He rolls his hips to milk the sensation for as long as possible. Your own hips buck and your mouth hangs open as your own orgasm is lasting throughout this process.

After several moments you relax. Your forehead hits the hard wood of the boat. You take a long time just to breathe. Your chest is moving deeply so you can catch your breath. The heat from the area had dropped and the sun had set. It’s dark out but the stars in your vision make it bright. Once you regain your strength, you sit up. You smile at your lovely cryptid and turn around.

He gasps when it forced you and him apart. He quite liked having himself inside of you. It was hot and welcoming. It felt right. You put your arms around him, which was comforting to him. It was nice to be close to you. You press your lips against his. It was quite clear that he wasn’t familiar with this process. His lips stay firm and unsure on yours. You purse yours more insistently to encourage him. It clicks and his lips purse as well. It’s a little clumsy, but not bad.

This isn’t something he’s familiar with. But it did feel nice. It must be a mating tradition from where you are from. He puts his arms around you, wanting you close. He wants more of you. What a lovely human you are. Close to being like him... but so different. He likes that about you. You are the first human crazy enough to do this. All the other ones he’s met run away from him. Which he doesn’t understand why. He likes these creatures that look the closest to him. But they don’t like him.... well you like him. That was enough to hold on.

“Want?” He asked. He furrowed his brows and pressed his lips against yours in a better attempt to kiss you.

“I don’t think I can go again.” You sigh. You trace the red line going down his cheek.

He tilts his head at you curiously. He pokes his finger against your lips. You smile and peck his lips. He chirps that toady note at you with a grin. He likes you. He nuzzles his cheek against yours.

“Mine.” Your creature purred at you.

“Oh..” You trail off. You sit back to look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry... but I can’t stay.”

“Stay?...” He repeated the word with a confused frown.

You shake your head. “I go. I have a home.”

“Home...” His expression falls with the word as he speaks it.

Oh he looks so sad. He understood what was happening and he clearly didn’t like it. A part of you wishes to take this creature with you. He’s intelligent. He’s not bad to look at. It seems like a waste that he’s stuck here. He has potential to speak and compose himself like a normal person.

But it’s also immoral. Just because he’s humanish doesn’t mean you have a right to remove him from his habitat. Like any animal, he has the right to be free. And society certainly won’t accept something that looks like him into their cities and homes warmly. He might get shot or worse! Experimented on! Poor thing. He’ll live his best life here in the swamps.

“I’ll come back next year.” You promise him.

“Mine?... Want?” He inquires sadly.

“Yes, I’m yours. But I live far away.” You pet his damp hair away from his face. “I’ll be back. So we can do this again, okay?”

“Again.” He nods slowly.

The creature is barely understanding you, but he seems to get the idea. His mate will return in the spring. Just like how the mates of his toad companions return when the flowers bloom. He’ll miss you. He does that nice thing with his lips pressed against yours before pulling back. If feels cold without him against you. He crouches by the other end of the boat and looked back at you. You smile at him and wave goodbye. He mimics it in a way that you know he has no idea what the hell the gesture meant.

The boat rocked from the force when he dived back into the water. You look over the edge. Something comes flying rapidly to the surface. You flinch back as your long lost oar flies out of the water and lands into your boat. White hair breached the water a moment later followed by a set of not so human toad shaped pupils in a human like head. He flashes a smile at you.

Something possessed you to grab your camera. It’s far into night now and you know that the shot won’t turn out great, but you want a souvenir. He’s a cryptid after all. A cryptid that fucked you senseless. You raise the device to your face to line up the shot. You take the shot and it turned out well enough. With the inky water as the backdrop to snow white hair. The moon caught his glossy eyes and lit them as they stared straight into the camera. Not bad.

Maybe you can do some research. There has to be something about this creature out there. If not, then you’ll make him your cryptid. You won’t post anything to keep him safe. Maybe move to Florida and visit him more often. This picture you’ll keep to yourself. Something to stare at and wonder about. This is your little secret now. For his protection. Showing your boss will lead to you being practically harassed with questions from him. Plus he might fire you or something for coming into contact with the abnormality. Or even search for this lovey creature himself. Which can’t end good. The boss never gave off good vibes when he talked about his obsession with the unusual.

Your cryptid continues to smile as he sunk back down into the murky water. His hair danced along the surface like waterweeds before disappearing into the darkness. The water settles and becomes calm. A shiver runs through your body. You are both sweaty and cold at the same time. Some soreness and exhaustion was already setting in. Your hips have scratch marks and bruises. Your whole pelvis almost feels cracked from the pressure it was put under. Without a doubt you’ll be crab walking back to your hotel with your innermost thighs so tense and tender. Your arms still feel a little noodly. Who knows how fast you can row in this condition. A motorboat or airboat sounded much more appealing at the moment.

Sigh.

It’s gonna be a long journey home. At least you’ve made an amazing memory with an amazing animal.

Once you got back in wifi range, you did some googling. Nothing came up like the creature you saw. But an old folklore story kept showing up in the related search. An old Japanese tale about a man named Jiraiya, who could summon toads and even turn into one. Inspired by the traits this character had and the creature you met resembling it, it felt natural to begin to refer to your cryptid by that name. You’ll have to see Jiraiya again! There’s plenty of questions you have to ask him about what he is. Then maybe to be his mate again. There’s certainly no man who can satisfy you after that. You book this same week off next year and buy the plane tickets in preparation for the exciting future journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never go to that part of Florida alone y’all! Or do if there’s a hot not stinky cryptid to bang, whatever you into. Idk if what I depicted was all that accurate. My main inspiration was the Dan Bell documentary on YouTube and a reddit scary story that depicted a cryptid attacking op and her grandmother while canoeing in the Everglades. I listened to a reading of it on night shift like months ago I can’t remember the name of it but it was a wild time! 
> 
> But idk y’all. I just hoped you enjoy this different flavour of monster. I was gonna draw it but like nah didn’t find the time. I hope my description made it clear that it was a fusion of what Jiraiya looks like in sage mode and some general water monster stuff since apparently toads don’t swim in water all that much unless it mating season and I always imagined this iteration of ya boy to be traveling mostly by river under the water since it’s efficient, but is evolved to survive above it. He’s basically a horny apex predator haha!


	38. The Importance of Base Layers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the turn of the season, it gets cold and wet. But Jiraiya foolishly didn’t buy his base layers to stay warm. He gets sick but denies it. You gotta deal with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk I just got inspired to do something wintery! Just enjoy the comedy chapter my lovelies!

Restrained coughing woke you up. Your pillow moved with the motions of a hearty coughing fit. You are squeezed tighter as your husband braced during the fit. He was snuggling you like you were a teddy bear. He groaned when it was over and his head hit the dirt again.

You open your eyes. You raise your head to look at Jiraiya. He’s sick, but won’t admit it. He’s oddly stubborn when it comes to being ill. He didn’t like to be seen as weak or vulnerable. You’ve sat with him when he was hospitalized from deathly injures, a little cold isn’t going to make you think less of him. He’s a bit of an over dramatic diva at times.

You cast a look out to the entrance of the shallow cave. The wee sights of dawn were just barely peaking through the darkness. To keep out the cold and stay hidden, you ripped some of the branches off of the nearby pine trees and used them to cover the entrance. There was some frost along the inside edge. It’s late fall, early winter. It’s cold, damp, and gross.

“Noooo.....” Jiraiya groggily groaned when you got off of him. He reached out for you like a baby wanting to be picked up and coddled. “Don’t leave. You’re warm!”

“I’m going out to get a few things.” You inform him.

“But I’m cold!”

“You’re cold because you are sick and refuse to wear proper shoes!”

“I got tabi on!” He raised a foot from under the covers to show off his sock. “And I’m not sick!”

Tabi won’t save him from the cold. He’s also got a pair of thinner socks that run up to his calves that he always wears during the winter months. The point of it being that he can still keep his normal clothing and still look good. His geta were originally made for winter wear since the elevated base on them are meant to keep toes out of the snow. The slots in the tabi meant he could still wear them with no issues of them falling off. He’s also got his hanten on, which was a pale yellow like the crests on his haori. It’s padding is thick enough to keep him warm but the cut of the sleeves leaves his arms mostly bare. It’s built that way to keep his arms at full mobility for a fight. He usually puts on a base layer built to hold warmth with long sleeves to counteract the short sleeves of the hanten. He also usually has them long underwear too.

As unsexy as he thinks it is, it’s necessary. His clothing may be old fashioned on the outside, but he’s not prudish enough to take advantage of the modern advancements in winter clothing like base layers. He’s out in the middle of no where in the start of winter. It’s stupid to not have these things for fear of not being authentic. It’s also rather funny to see him peel his pants off to reveal the long johns and look at you with a wonderment if this was sexy. He’s your husband, you’ll always find him sexy, but being his wife meant you could also make fun of him.

It’s certainly not as hot to watch him undress when he’s got six layers to take off and the cuffs of them get stuck on his joints. They were built to hug the body and keep stuff like snow and dirt off of the skin. Most times you gotta help him as the tight collar of the shirt gets stuck half on his head and his arms are tucked in and crossed over his chest like a makeshift straight jacket. Then his legs are stuck with the cuffs of the long underwear stuck half off of his feet and he’s tripping on the material whilst blind from his shirt that won’t get off of his head. It’s like watching a toddler who hasn’t quite figured out how clothes worked yet, but insisted they knew what they were doing. He even whines and sticks his lip out when he gets really tangled in his own clothing. It’s even worse when he’s drunk! You usually find him completely tangled on the floor cursing under his breath as he struggles with his base layers. You gotta save The Great Toad Sage from his own gonchies and do so with love.

But guess who forgot to buy a new set before winter came? Gonchy Boy himself wasn’t without his gonchies. You warned Jiraiya when fall came around. He scoffed and waved you off with the belief that winter was still far away. It was still warm out with autumn barely getting started, you were clearly just over preparing. You and him get a new set every year since you both live in them for the winter months with only a few washes. They get pretty dirty and worn when spring comes so they get thrown out as unnecessary weight during the clean out for spring/summer traveling. Winter hit a week after you bought your base layers and Jiraiya got sick a few days ago as he was without his. He now snuggled you for warmth. Which was difficult since you are much smaller than him and he’s usually the space heater you rely on.

Currently, you had your base layers on while Jiraiya suffered from the cold with only his thin layers to protect him. His ears, cheeks, and even the tip of his nose is pink from the frost. You’d kiss his cute little nose if it wasn’t all snotty and raw. He’s clearly bitter about you being right. He’s stubborn and insisted he was fine without his all important gonchies. He’ll probably stick out this whole winter without them just to double down and be difficult. Even if it meant literally freezing his ass off. You tuck a spare scarf you have around his mouth and ears. Even with the cloth there, you can tell he’s pouting. He’s frowning at you with his arms crossed.

“I won’t be gone for long.” You tell him. You settle for kissing his forehead, which was hot with fever.

You tuck Jiraiya’s foot back under the covers, which was assembled out of the cardinal he wears as an addition layer for winter. You have one that matches and have it on to go outside. They are nice and all, but is hardly a practical layer with only linen on underneath. Unlike you, who is properly dressed to have it on as a wind breaker and not an essential layer. You set the water bottle by his head as a reminder to drink his fluids. He grumbles something as you leave. You ignore him as you go searching for something. Anything really.

The worst thing about winter was survival. Plants and animals are severely limited. Most plants die off with the cold and animals go into hibernation or flee to warmer areas. It snowed over night. There’s a thin layer of snow over the land. Which is mostly comprised of thin growing spruces and firs. Most of them are shaking with the wind. You look around for anything that jumps out. But it’s already easy to tell that you’ll have to travel far to get anything.

It’s hard to focus. Jiraiya sighs and rubs his eyes. There’s a pressure in his head that made it hard to think. His fingers moved from his eyes up to the sides of his head rubbing in circles. Maybe massaging it will loosen the congestion.... Not that he’s congested from being sick. It’s just... allergies or something. He feels heavy and sleepy. He rolls over to his side and curls up. His legs are cold. He missed you. The scarf you gave him smells like you, which is quite comforting. He peeks over his shoulder to look out the entrance of the cave. His eyes droop and head follows. He sighs and gives in. A nap will help.

A cold hand touches him. It’s enough of a temperature difference to rise him from his sleep. Jiraiya opens an eye and smiles at the sight. It’s you. Cheeks rosy from the cold and cloak decorated in snowflakes. He coughs until his lungs feel sore. He inhales a deep breath to get in the air he was just deprived of. You pull him up even when he whines. You place the water bottle in his hands. Surprisingly it’s warm. It smelt vaguely minty.

“I found some plants that weren’t totally dead from the freeze.” You explain. You help him raise the bottle to his mouth. “I made tea.”

“Tea.” Jiraiya repeated. He’s still half asleep. He took a sip with your assistance. It soothes his sore throat and the warmth seeped into his cold body. He looks up from his lap to the entrance. He frowns. “You were out all day...”

The sun was setting. The days are much shorter with the turn of the season. You were out for a few hours longer than you should have. Not something you should be doing alone. Jiraiya looks back to you and tilts his head ever so slightly in question. You brush his damp hair away from his face. He’s a little sweaty from his fever. You raise the bottle to help him drink more. Even when sickly and out of it he’s concerned about you.

“I got carried away exploring.” You shrug.

“You didn’t go too far out, did you?”

“I don’t think so.”

Jiraiya exhales a sigh through his nose. It was slow and difficult since one side was plugged up. You make him drink the tea so he can’t complain. He stops you part way through and hands you the bottle.

“Don’t deprive yourself of water just for me.” He said, his voice is still gravely and rough.

You hold it and take a sip. It’s not that tasty, but it is soothing. You watch as your husband struggles to stay awake. His eyes shutting and head bobbing down for a few moments. He’s always like this when he’s sick. His body shuts down to nap mode. All he does is deny he’s sick and sleep. You gotta do one more thing before he goes down.

It’s hardly a meal, but it’s all you could find. Pheasants were still around picking at the ground for food. You managed to catch one with the toss of a knife. It was a little guy with not that much meat on him. But you didn’t want to expend a ton of energy hunting when you had someone to take care of. The fire outside was easily put out when you had finished cooking. The wind was picking up with the night. It was hard to cook as it was almost blown out several times. It was going to be a cold night.

You practically had to shove pieces of bird in Jiraiya’s mouth. He didn’t have an appetite when he got sick, so he complained when you shoved the food into his mouth. He munched on it while glaring at you. He struggled swallowing it with his sore throat. Yet you keep feeding him.

Jiraiya whined your name and took the food from you. You worry too much. Enough to neglect yourself. He hasn’t spent that much energy just sitting here and sleeping. It’s you who went out and did things today. You are the one who is shivering and hungry. He tore off a piece and shoved it in your mouth with the same grace you did to him, which was hardly any. He made sure you got more. It’s only fair. You glare at him with a mouthful of charred bird. He meets your glare evenly and tears off a wing without breaking eye contact before poking you in the face with it. His face said it all, eat woman! 

Once the bird was down to it’s bones, it was time to settle down. It may not be that late, but he’s sick and you trekked through miles of snow for hours. You shed your cloak and lay it on Jiraiya’s shoulders. He huffs and looks at you with a small frown.

“What? You’re still chilly.” You tell him.

His frown quickly turns upside down. He grabs you and pulls you against him. He tries to laugh but it comes out hoarse and cracked with coughs. You wiggle and fight him as he pecks you with kisses all over your face.

“I know a few activities that will warm us up!” He implied as he fell over onto his back with you on top.

“Stop it! You’re going to get me sick!” You complain.

“I’m not sick!”

“Yes you are!”

Jiraiya rolled over so he was on top and had you pinned under him. You had no choice but to squeak and whine as he kissed you. His hands playfully squeeze and tickle your sides. His cold hands sneak under your clothing. Your skin breaks out into goosebumps and your back arches away to escape the hands of the pervy snowman feeling you up. His icy cold nose pressed against your jaw as he smooshed your neck again.

“Jiraiya stop! You’re too damn cold!” You beg him.

“Never! Not until you admit I’m not sick!”

He bit and nipped at your collarbone. He put a big sloppy lick up your neck, which immediately turned cold when the air hit it. It’s gross! He’s gross! He just licked his gross sick germs all over your neck. Jiraiya grins like the devil as he pulls your shirt down to blow a raspberry on your chest.

“Jiraiya!” You squeal his name when he did that.

“Say it, baby!”

“You aren’t sick!” You give in and shout out.

As promised, Jiraiya stopped attacking you. He laid over top of you giggling into your neck. It was that giggle he does when he wins and you lose. It’s maniacal and giddy. You huff and put your hands into his hair. You stroke and brush it with your fingers. He likes it and it tends to calm him down. He began to cough. He had a harsh coughing fit that rocked his whole body for a minute or so. You hold his head still against your shoulder as he hacks up his lungs.

When it’s over, Jiraiya relaxed over top of you. The fit stole his strength and he sunk down as he can no longer support his weight. He groaned quietly. His vision is dazed and blurry. His abdomen hurts like he got punched right under his rib cage. You are warm and smell good. Your fingers continue to brush through his hair how he likes. He relaxes further and groans.

“Sleep if you’re tired.” You coax him. You can read him well. Plus he’s basically a big toddler when he’s sick. Same when he’s drunk. He likes sleep and being inappropriate. It’s not all that different from when he’s healthy and sober, except he’s slightly more serious.

“Hmm...” He hummed as he pondered the idea. “Isn’t it early?”

“Not that early.”

“But late enough to do some other things?”

“Like wha-! Eep!” A squawk of surprise leaves you when he squeezed your ass. His hands sneaked under your clothing again with his popsicle fingers groping your bare skin. His kisses start up on your neck, but they are sloppy and wet. They lack the finesse he usually has when he dives into foreplay.

Your attempts to halt him only turn him on. Jiraiya purrs and chuckles when you tug on his hair. He even growls when you give him a light smack. His hands run up your back with the icy grip of a spirit tickling your spine. Your upper layers went with it and forced to gather at your boobs leaving your belly exposed to the frosty night air. It forced a shudder out of you, which he misconstrued as one of pleasure.

“Hell yeah, baby! I know how to turn you on!” His voice raised out of excitement. It still sounded like he was eating a snack of nails and staples.

“Jiraiya!” You complain when he forced your shirt over your breasts and snapped at a bra strap.

“Yes! Say my name!”

Good lord! Jiraiya is a bit of dummy sometimes. Either he’s really oblivious to your disagreements with this idea or he’s feigning it until you give in. You are enjoying yourself, but got some reservations about sleeping with him in the middle of a frost covered cave. Your lovely other half began to kiss the space between your boobs then down your middle. It does feel nice. It’s about the same like he does when healthy and whatnot, but his cold nose is leaving more of a lasting tingle than his lips are. Maybe fooling around a little is a good idea. If just to warm up. It began to slow down. His lips stayed against your skin right at your bellybutton. Then his cheek hit your skin. His hair tips stopped tickling you and instead laid flat on your belly. You look down to see his eyes are shut and he’s breathing deeply. Soft snores emanate from him as he falls quickly into a deep sleep.

“Sheesh.” You sigh.

What a man. He turns you on and falls asleep! It’s not his normal MO as he’s usually an accomplished and thoughtful partner tango with. You roll your eyes and fix your clothing. It’s hard to fix the cloaks back into blankets from this position. Especially when Jiraiya grumbles and wraps his arms around your hips to keep you from moving again. The best you can do is pull the cardinal on his back up higher. It leaves his legs exposed so he quickly curls up into a twisted cinnamon roll. You fall asleep soon after. Throughout the night, Jiraiya crawls back up until he’s got his face against the crook of your neck and his body laid over top of you. The weight was secure and warm over your body. Even in your sleep, you hold him and nuzzle your cheek against his.

A gentle touch to his forehead woke him up. At first, Jiraiya grinned as you must be waking him up in a nice way. A check of his temperature, then maybe a gentle kiss to the lips. Then there’s more force. Then some more. He groans when you shove him. He rolls willingly to the side so you can escape. He cracks an eye to watch you get up and fix your clothing. You steal back your cardinal and escape to the outside. It’s first light again. The cave suddenly felt incredibly cold without you to steal heat from. Jiraiya yawns and rubs his head. There’s still a pressure in his head, but he can breath again! Most of the congestion has cleared up and he can think more clearly.

You break off some of the pieces from your fir tree wind guard. They make for good kindling. You put together a pile of them along with some leaves and sticks along with thin logs. You take out the one thing you’ve always traveled with, a flint and steel. You strike the metal with your rock. After a few strikes, you get the sparks to light the wood.

A pair of arms wrap around you from behind. A heated cheek presses against yours.

“Oh nurse~!” Jiraiya sang into your ear. He pecked your cheek. He began to cough. He put his mouth against your shoulder as he had his fit. It sounds really phlegmy and gross. He even spat some of the phlegm on the ground beside you. Hm... charming. “I think I need my temperature checked.”

“You shouldn’t be outside.” You tell him.

“Aw don’t be like that! I feel fine!”

“Aren’t you cold?”

Jiraiya smirks and grabs two handfuls of your boobs. He pulls you against his chest and chuckles. “Not when I got you and these to keep me warm!”

You roll your eyes. At least he sounds better. He’s got his energy back. He looks better too. Not as grey and sweaty. He has that cute peachy undertone back to his skin. The flush to his cheeks and nose wasn’t all from sickness anymore.

“Do you feel good enough to travel?” You ask.

“I think so...” Jiraiya sounded mostly sure. It’s like he’s more motivated by the idea of sleeping in a heated room with a bed rather than his health. His toes are like half froze and an actual blanket would be nice. Also just... you and him alone in a seedy hotel bed in a building that doesn’t have working heat is just begging for people to have sex in it. People like him and you! He may have fallen asleep last night, but he won’t tonight until he gets you satisfied.

Once heated up with more tea and cuddles, Jiraiya pulls you to your feet. He’s excited to get started! A days rest has certainly put some pep in his step. You walk hand in hand with him back to the marked path. He coughed occasionally as he walked, but he didn’t sound as terrible as he did a day ago. It began to snow as the day went on. Gentle snowflakes that floated gently to the ground. It was just... pretty. The fresh falling snow is refreshing. The way Jiraiya stops to watch it gave off the same vibe. He’s always liked snow. He said it reminded him of things like peace and calmness.

Several hours later, you and him are in a little town that sells base layers for winter. Where Jiraiya then bought a set that fit him.... Not because he got sick of course.... the only thing he’s sick of is his ass being cold.

At night in the hotel room you and your dearest rented, you come out of the bathroom to see him struggling. Jiraiya is stuck in his new base layer shirt with his hair being the main thing keeping it from popping off. His nose is being pulled up by the collar of the shirt getting stuck on it. His teeth are gritted as he yanks on the sleeves, which his arms are still stuck in. Every god damn time with these shirts!

“Need help?” You ask.

“...” Jiraiya lets out a very long sigh. “Yes.”

You smile. He’s still a little kid sometimes. He’s pouting like one. You caress the sides of his face and kiss him. His pout lifts to a smile. You pull on the shirt and free him from the chains of the tight base layer. Jiraiya grins at you and puts his now free arms around you. He flops down onto his back forcing you to lay on top of him.

That maniacal giggle he began to do told only of trouble. Especially when you join him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I introduced some of you guys to the word gonchy. Apparently it is a word that was invented where I am from! So enjoy the local pride of a dumb word! 
> 
> Also like... how pretty would Jiraiya look in a cardinal? I am talking like og red riding hood style not like catholic man. Cardinals were first invited for winter traveling and named for their iconic colour I do believe so I got inspired. I just thought he would look very striking in one and I don’t remember if the show/manga shows off what he wears in winter so I tried to come up with something practical. I did some googling for this one lol.


	39. An Aid In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request from a lovely reader!  
> In world where Jiraiya is Hokage, he only agreed to it because you agreed to be his number two. You, his old student turned aid. He needs you to do this job. Your pretty face and quick thinking is exactly what he needs to advise him. But when you want to quit... he doesn’t know why. 
> 
> You are in love with him... but you just can’t stand to be near him anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an everyone lives au!

You knock on the door, but get no answer. Hm... Strange. You’ve learned by now that when it’s quiet in that office, something strange is happening. You open the door with eyes clenched shut. You crack one open to inspect.

Jiraiya is there. He’s sitting at his desk. Pants on and everything. He even has that robe on. He never wears the hat. It is always sitting neatly on the hanger behind him. He’s focused on something on his desk and writing furiously. Okay. Still rather odd. He doesn’t work hard like this ever. Wonder if something happened to cause him to hand out notes or mission statements? But he usually calls you when that happens. As his number two, you needed to be in the loop.

“Lord Hokage?” You ask for his attention.

You don’t get it. Jiraiya is too busy. He’s so intensely focused. It’s the most focused you’ve ever seen him work. His pen moving quickly as he finished a page and flipped over to the back side to continue.

“Hey sexy!” You raise your voice.

Still you get no answer. You raise a skeptical brow. Hm... strange. Usually he tunes in when you say stuff like that. He usually calls you something stupid like that too. You waltz in freely. As his aid, you didn’t need permission to enter. You put the new pile of paperwork on the only free corner left on the desk. The rest is covered with yet to be done work. You walk around to stand behind him. You lean down and look over his shoulder.

“Whatcha doing?” You whisper behind his ear.

“Fuck!” Jiraiya yelled in startle. He turned his head towards you and scowled. “Don’t do that!”

You smile innocently and wrap your arms around him from behind. You look down at the paper he’s writing. There’s a break in his neat handwriting in the form of a deep black pen mark going off of the page. It scrawled off like that when you scared him. As suspected, he wasn’t doing any of his paperwork at all. He’s writing porn.

“What scene you writing now?” You ask.

Jiraiya had his hand over most of the paragraph. You reach out and grab the corner. You began to tug on it. He sighed and released it. He’s already caught now anyways. You kiss his cheek to thank him and look over the paper. He huffs and looks away with a slight tint of pink over his cheeks.

“It’s good.” You compliment. You flipped it over to read the back. “Saucy!”

He snatched the paper from your hands.

“You see it’s comments like that make me hesitant to show you my work!” Jiraiya complained. He folded the paper and stuck it in his pocket.

“Aw don’t be like that! I love you...r work.”

You stand up straight and sigh. Your slip up almost ruined everything. You chew your cheek and pray he didn’t notice.

Yes... You are in love with Jiraiya. You didn’t mean to fall in love. Especially with him of all people. Jiraiya was more than just your leader. He was a lot of things. Leader, teacher, friend...

You met him when you were a kid, but didn’t develop feelings for him until you were an adult. There was something about him. While he can be a crass cocky perv, but he’s also sweet and considerate. He always took the time to pull you aside and talk to you. He could read you so easily. He knew everything about you. He’s so easy to get along with. You know what makes him happy. You could make him happy.

At the moment you are stuck in a crossroads. You are a newly graduated Jounin. With little experience aside from Jiraiya’s number two. You are suited for a very niche type of fighting that’s rarely called upon. There was so many times you considered giving up on your career because it got overwhelming. No one believed in you. Except for Jiraiya. He was so nice to you. Kind and thoughtful to your problems. He took the time to train you one on one when you fell behind. He always told you that you aren’t weak, you just needed to be taught differently. Being stuck in your position meant you don’t go out on a lot of missions. But you were always near the man you want.

You haven’t been on a date in a long time. You haven’t had sex in a long time. It’s some of that pent up energy that made you realize how you felt. You couldn’t get Jiraiya out of your head while having a round of alone time. There was one reoccurring scene that kept playing around in your head. Just a normal conversation with Jiraiya that suddenly gets heated. It normally started with talking about his next book and what he wants to put in it. Speaking the erotica out loud only got you and him riled. He’d sweep all his stuff off his desk with one motion of his arm before turning around and gripping your hips. He’d throw you on the desk, tear your clothes off, and fuck you until you are crying from the overstimulation. His breath by your ear and tips of his hair tickling your skin while his hot solid body rocking against you. All while you claw at his back and scream his name to high heaven.

You want him. Which is a little fucked up. Anyone would assume all the wrong things. The man you are with was not only the Hokage, but you also work with him and he was once your teacher? It had unhealthy written all over it. But they just don’t get it. You don’t love him because of these things. But others won’t see it like that.

Oh god. Imagine what your team will say? You like Minato a lot. He’s like a big brother. You’ve known him since childhood. You don’t want him to think the wrong thing. You always struggled to keep up with him. He outpaced you because he’s a prodigy. It’s not like he was mean or smug. He was actually the nicest person you know. But there’s a nagging voice in the back of your mind telling you that he’d be pissed. You are sleeping with the teacher. No wonder you won out on being the Hokage’s aid over him. Well, he later told you he was glad, since it meant he got be with Kushina more consistently. 

That’d be nice, wouldn’t it? Having a person to come home to. You don’t got that. You got a career to push forward in. Not that it was going anywhere. It did kinda feel hopeless to continue down this path. And when Kushina announced that she was pregnant, a jealousy rose in you that you didn’t expect to feel. You love her too and didn’t want to be bitter during such a happy time. Then she had her baby. A beautiful little boy they named Naruto. Watching them all be together and be so happy made your heart pang with longing. Especially when Jiraiya held the little bundle. He loved that kid like his own and looked pretty good with a kid in his arms. If only if he was holding a little bundle of his own that you mothered. That’d be perfect... if life was perfect. Life isn’t ever perfect. 

But all this didn’t matter. Nothing can happen. Not with you anyways. Jiraiya most certainly didn’t feel that way about you. Why would he want his old student? While he named you his most trusted comrade, he hasn’t done anything since. Hell... he even brings women into his office. You’ve learned by now that when the door is closed and it’s quiet, he’s probably having sex with someone. You’ve walked in on him having sex on that desk enough times to leave mental scars. He always apologized once his one and done leaves. But it did it’s damage. It’s quite clear Jiraiya doesn’t want the things you want and wouldn’t make a good partner. He’s never seen a woman more than once unless it was strictly a fuck buddy situation. For sometime you considered becoming that, if only to know what it was like to sleep with him. But it would be messy. Very very messy. You had too many feelings for him and it would be unhealthy. A clean break would be easier.

After plenty of thought, you have come to the conclusion that all of these reasons are why you are unhappy. A kinda mediocre career that no matter how hard you pour your blood and soul into, leads to nothing. It’s not fun being an aid anymore. Being around Jiraiya everyday hurts more than it being fun. It used to be lots of fun! You used to sit on his desk and chat. He was so easy to talk to. His hand sometimes grazed your thigh while he made a comment on the things you wore. He’d pump his eyebrows and jokingly compliment about what a woman you’ve turned into. He sometimes pulled you into his lap while he worked on reports with the excuse that he can’t focus unless there’s a pretty girl sitting on his knee. It was fun to entertain him on occasion. You got him to focus on his work, which was the point of your job. And while he whined and complained when you took away his drinks he hid in his desk, or hide his ‘inspirational romance magazines’ from him, he always just... cared. His grin was roguishly charming. He’s laugh was loud and contagious. He trusted you to read his drafts and make edits. He trusted and cared about your opinion over anyone else’s. He knows you more than anyone does. He’s just... perfect.

It doesn’t make you happy anymore. Being around Jiraiya all the time with the knowledge that you can’t ever have him just hurt too much. It feels as if you’ve outstayed your usefulness. You are clinging too hard to the past. You are an adult now. You can’t hold onto your teacher like this. It’s keeping you from growing. Jiraiya grabbed your arm, bringing you out of your thoughts. He swivelled his chair around towards you to and pulled you into his lap. You fall into it quietly.

Jiraiya frowns. You’ve been quiet a lot lately. It’s not like you. You are usually playing off of his snarky comments with even more snark. You don’t take his bull crap, which made you so much fun! You’ve always been like that. You shot back at him with the best comebacks since day number one. The day he met you, you crossed your arms. You looked him up and down before turning to Minato and asking if this was really the teacher they were gonna learn from. He laughed for a while after that. Good lord, you are sassy. To be fair, he always encouraged it. He’d like to think that the reason you are so quick witted is because he let you snap back. Too many teachers tell their students to be quiet. It’s a shame really, because they grow into bland adults. You are the opposite of bland. It’s why Jiraiya hired you as his number two over Minato. While Minato was smart, he was too sweet to give it to Jiraiya straight. He’d get around to breaking it to Jiraiya gently while you just snort and say fuck no that’s terrible. It’s that type of quick harsh honesty he needs in his life to do this job. For real... he can’t do this without you. The only reason he considered this job was because you said you would help him.

But you don’t really do that anymore. You nod or shake your head. You don’t talk a lot to him anymore. Some days you simply drop off more paperwork and leave without a word. Jiraiya even apologized to you. He wasn’t sure what he did to make you so distant, but he didn’t want you to be. He had strangely gotten used to how quiet his office had gotten. It wasn’t filled with your sarcastic scoffs and teases. He didn’t like it. Hence why it scared him when you spoke. A glimmer of hope that you have forgiven him and doing better is shining in his eyes. It grows as you let him pull you into his lap. You’ve pushed him off and walked away for a few days now. You do this sometimes, but not all the time. You usually do it was a smirk and a roll of your eyes before you lightly scold him about being inappropriate in the workplace. Other times you just sit and let him work. That warm tingly feeling of being so close to someone made him work harder. It got him to work even better when you played with his hair or your finger traced his collarbone. He likes you.... a lot. His office already feels cold and weird with you always so quiet.

“Are you doing okay?” Jiraiya asked you. He wraps his arms around you. “You aren’t really acting like yourself.”

“Oh... I’m fine. Just busy with things.” You answer vaguely.

“Am I overworking you? You can take the day off if you want.”

You shake your head. “I’m not overworked.”

Despite not wanting to, you leave the comfortable spot on his lap. His eyes follow you with his lips in a pout. You walk around the desk to the pile of work you left on the corner. You sift through it to find what you need.

“We need to go over your schedule for next week.” You state.

“Alright.” He sighed and sat back in his chair. This is probably the most boring part of the job. “What do I gotta do?”

You flip through the schedule and start to inform him of his meetings. The loudest groan in the world left poor Jiraiya when you told him he had to meet with the council about a mission gone wrong on Wednesday. It’s no secret he hates the elders. He only really tolerated Hiruzen out of the four of them. He fights with other three constantly with Danzo being the worst of them. It’s quite clear the Roots boy himself is out for Jiraiya’s job. He’s tried in the past to whisper secrets in Jiraiya’s ear to convince him that war is a viable option. But being raised to uphold the peace before anything and having those morals has made Jiraiya completely resistant to the idea.

“There’s always a peaceful alternative to war. I’m sure we just overlooked something.” Jiraiya would always answer the hateful old man with a smile that never failed to piss Danzo off.

It’s a confrontation you’ll miss seeing. They are both so stubborn and childish. They always butt heads. And half the shit Jiraiya gets away with is mostly because he can or because Hiruzen is there to keep most of the peace. The few times you’ve tried to keep them from snapping each other’s heads off, Danzo snarls at you that you have no voice here. Which always prompted Jiraiya to defend you with a reminder that you are to be respected as his aid and have valid opinions. Which only made you more attracted to him.

There’s not a lot going on the rest of the week. You lot time for when Jiraiya has to visit the academy to greet the new first years and inspire them. To which he said you should just go. You are far more inspiring than he is, or so he says. You bite your tongue and keep going. There’s several time blocks at the normal time for the mission assigning throughout the week. He huffs, finding that just as boring as when he had to get assigned to them. The only fun thing about it was messing with the new graduates when they see their leader slumped in his chair smoking a pipe and telling them they gotta go pick the weeds from someone’s lawn or catch a run away pet. They are always so shocked and appalled when they see how casual he is. Again, another thing you’ll miss.

“And I’ve set aside a half hour on Monday morning for...” You trail off. Saying it was harder that you thought. It already tastes bitter on your tongue.

“For what?” Jiraiya asks you to go on with a frown.

“For training your new aid.” You finish quietly.

“... What?”

You look up from your paper to see Jiraiya staring at you. He’s very upset by this that was easy enough to see. It was that childish expression of disbelief and sadness. It looked like as if you just told him you found his pet dead in the street.

“I’m sorry, my lord.” You say. You try to smile, but it doesn’t come off genuine. “I’m quitting. I wish to resign as a ninja.”

“Wh... what?”

“Can’t you say something else?”

It sucks seeing Jiraiya look so hurt. He swallowed down the growing lump in his throat and tried to form another word. Something. Anything. But all he can manage to think of what to say is...

“Why?”

He watched you shrug with a frown. You shift your weight back and forth before explaining yourself.

“I don’t... I just...” You pause and sigh. “I’m not getting anywhere here. I was never a good ninja anyways. And I’ve realized after seeing Minato and his family, that I want that too.”

“That’s not true. You’re an excellent fighter!” Jiraiya stood up and stated your name very seriously. While he’s holding it together physically, it was obvious that his eyes are getting glassy with the urge to cry. “You can’t leave me! You can have a family and still be my aid! I don’t want anyone else!”

“I’m sorry, but that can’t be possible. I have other reasons for wanting to go.”

“What are they? Please tell me!” He demands. He begins to barter with you. “Is it me? Whatever I did, I’m sorry! I’ll do anything to keep you here! I can’t do this job without you here. I’ll go crazy without you to talk to! You make it so much easier! There’s no way there’s someone else out there as good as you are.”

You ignore him as his speech gets quicker and quicker with a plea for you to stay. More money, more time off, a nicer office. It didn’t matter what he offered you. You can’t stand to be here any longer. You pluck out your choice as replacement for you from the stack of papers.

“Here’s my top pick for my replacement. You already know her...” You continue to talk as if he were quiet. She’s one of the women you know he banged in his office. She always struts back in every month or so looking to get lucky. She usually does. She seemed to be his favourite of the bunch so why not let her take over? They’d get along.

Jiraiya snatches the paper from you and throws it to the side.

“I don’t care if I know her or not! She’s not you!” He shouted. He walked around his desk and grabbed you by your arms. He held you tightly and shook you as if it would shake your ideas of leaving from your head. He pulled on them hard enough to force you to drop all the papers. They fluttered and scattered across the floor at your feet. “I need you! Why are you doing this?”  
  


Your heart is hammering in your chest. You want to cry. You can’t look him in the eyes as he looks so distraught. It feels like a bubble in your throat that’s wanted to rise and pop into words. It finally pops, as if his shaking had shook it to your tongue.

“Because I love you!” You blurt out.

He freezes. Shock takes his expression. With wide eyes and an open mouth. It looks as if Jiraiya was going to say something back, but you completely threw him off. He wasn’t expecting a confession. 

You pull back, now able to since his grip relaxed. You take a few steps back and your back hits the door.

“I can’t be around you anymore.” You admit. Your voice wavers as you confess. “It hurts so much to love someone who doesn’t love you back. I know you don’t love me and never will. So please... just let me go so I can move on... without you.”

Jiraiya is motionless. He listens to you silently. There’s tears in your eyes and you can’t seem to catch your breath. You keep wiping away the little droplets that break free from your eyes as you hiccup in a shallow breath. He picks up his foot and silently makes his way to you in a few strides. You shrink back a little when he reached out. He cups your cheeks. He ran his thumbs under your eyes to wipe your tears away.

Seeing you cry made his heart ache. Such a pretty face shouldn’t be sad. He never meant to make it sad. He does understand how you feel. He’s been in love with someone who didn’t love him back. Jiraiya just figured he’d never find someone again and decided that sleeping around with any woman who would have him would help bury the pain. It did... but wanting something more always lingered in his mind. He had no idea you had feelings for him. Why do you have feelings for him? You deserve better than on old man like him.

Yet... Jiraiya finds himself longing for you. You and him make sense, but also don’t. He gets along with you so well. You are smart, sassy, and beautiful. There’s nothing else he could want in a girl. The fear and pain he felt when you told him you are leaving had opened his eyes to his true feelings. But you are young. You were his student. You are his aid. People will think the wrong things. But he doesn’t care. If you left, he wouldn’t know what to do. He can’t do this without you. He can barely function without you. There’s no way he can lead the village if you left... He probably wouldn’t even get out of bed. 

You inhale sharply and hold it. Jiraiya is kissing you. His lips are warm and soft. His left hand moved off your cheek to run through your hair. It went around and cradled the back of your head. Your hands moved of their own accord. They run up his arms to his shoulders. You step closer to him. The gap between your body and his had closed. This was as good as you thought it would be.

“Wait.” You gasp when the kiss breaks for a moment. He went back in a second later to cut you off. His tongue ran along your teeth with a plea for entry. You pull back and try again. While you want him to shove his tongue down your throat, you have to get ahold of yourself. “We can’t be doing this.”

“Why not?” Jiraiya asked. He cleared his throat to get rid of the hoarseness to it. Kissing you felt like drinking good whiskey. Smooth with a sweet note that coats his throat like honey. “Didn’t you just say you love me?”

“I do... but...” You gently push away. “We want different things.”

“What do you mean?”

You run your hands back down his arms. You lick your tingly feeling lips before explaining.

“I want a husband... I want a baby.” You feel the heat rise to your cheeks at finally saying it. You do want that with him, but he probably doesn’t want that kind of relationship. “I know that you aren’t interested in that... right?”

Jiraiya sighed softly. He raised his hands and placed them on the door behind you right beside your head to box you in. He looked you over slowly as he thought about that. The lifestyle change that came with being with you.... It’s not terrifying when he pictures it with you.

Having a wife and child. It made sense. Jiraiya has been swimming in proposals since he got promoted. The elders were pressuring him to find a wife. They were prodding him to take a noble woman from either this territory or another to establish good bonds. But a woman from the village would be acceptable too. He considered you to be the best option when he thought about it. Just those late night pondering thoughts as he imagined what it would be like to have a family. Your face always came to mind. He thought it was nothing since he spent every day with you. It was always more than that, he sees that now. It all seemed to work out, since you got feeling for him and he’s just realizing he’s got feelings for you. You make everything better. The idea didn’t sound so scary if you were the one helping him be a family man.

“I’m going to be forty in a few years...” He sighed again. That’s depressing to think about. He looked at you and cracked a smile. “It’s about time I stop acting like I’m twenty and grow up.” Jiraiya grabbed your chin securely, but not hard enough to hurt. It was just enough to force you you stay put and look at him. His smile grows bigger and fonder. “A family sounds like a nice change. Care to make one with me?”

“Is that your idea of a proposal, my lord?” You ask with a dripping sarcasm.

“So what of it is?”

You put your arms around his neck and rise on your toes to get closer to his face. You drop your voice to a whisper. “Then I must insist that you prove you are man enough to court me.”

“But of course!” Jiraiya laughed. He dropped his hands to your ass and squeezed. His lips hover above yours while your hips connect against his. “I’d never disrespect a lady like yourself by being rude as to just expect you to agree!”

“And whatever shall you do to prove yourself?”

“Oh ho!” He jovially exclaimed. “I plan to part your legs and fuck you until you can’t walk! Is that enough to prove myself?”

“Depends.”

“On what?!” Jiraiya sounded slightly insulted.

“Your performance!”

To your surprise, Jiraiya picked you up off of your feet. He’s chuckling with a slight bit of a dark edge to it. He’ll perform! He’ll perform until you can’t handle it! He carried you back to his desk and set you on the only clear spot. He held your lips in a long hard kiss that he finished with a bite it your lower lip before pulling back. He smirked at you. He tossed away all the paperwork and knickknacks on his desk to the floor. Paper flew around like snow all over the dark wooden floor. You fall to your back over the desktop with his gentle push. He gets over top of you.

You smile at Jiraiya fondly. He returns it and his fingers dance around the buttons of your blouse. You run your fingers around the collar of his shirt. He lays overtop of you and his lips press against yours.

“I love you... I guess I should say that.” He chuckled. He kissed your jaw and ear. “I love you!”

“I love you too!” You shout you are so excited.

You share plenty of kisses with him. You wrap your legs around his waist. You make out happily with him as he undressed you and you undress him. The attraction you feel for him is solidified as he got just as excited as you were. The skin of his fingers were a little rough feeling along your ribs and belly. Yours feel amazingly soft along his chest and abdomen. You saw him naked intentionally for the first time. Jiraiya laughed when he saw you. Not because it’s funny, but he really couldn’t believe how pretty you are.

It really wasn’t all that weird. Being naked and displayed on the Hokage’s desk right in front of him. It’s even better than anything you could dream. His eyes scan your body slowly. You are laid over the length of it with your legs apart. Jiraiya plays around a little to get a feel for what you like. His fingers press and curl inside of you. His tongue runs over your nipples before latching on to nibble on one while his free hand pinched the other. Each of these things got the reaction he wanted out of you.

Your hands clutch and squeeze his shoulders and eventually move up into his hair. Your hips jerk and buck in time to the thrusts of his fingers. Your thighs keep grazing his cock and it’s easy to tell he’s hard. Knowing how aroused he’s getting just from teasing you is motivating you to help. You cry his name and grip a hard fistful of hair. He grunts and he bites down. It hurt but it wasn’t hard enough to bruise or bleed.

“Ah! Jiraiya please!” You whine. “I-I need it!”

He pulled back with a smile. You’ve never just said his name before. It’s always been with a title. You sound good just yelling his name in pleasure. A shudder runs through your body when he slid his fingers out of you. They are shiny and slick with your fluids. Smells pretty good too. His whole office is beginning to smell sweet with sex.

Thankfully, this desk was just the right height for this. Jiraiya pulled you forward just a little bit so his thighs don’t dig into the trim of the desk with his thrusts. You hold onto his arms. He’s sat up straight to line up properly. Your face contorts as he slides in inch by inch. He tried to be slow to be both romantic and accommodating to your needs, but you pulled him close with your legs. You wrapped them tighter around his waist and forced him to push in to the max in a few seconds.

Jiraiya wobbled with unbalance when you did that. He leaned forward and planted his hands on the edges of the desk on either side of it. He paused when your eyes connected with his. You smile after a moment. His cock is just the right fit. Big, thick, and so eager it’s throbbing. He cracks a smile back at you. His chest moving deeply with excitement and anticipation. You feel better than any woman he’s had. Right and tight.

“You feel amazing.” He exhaled the sentence in one breath.

“Mm!” You agree. Your head rolls back with pleasure. “You feel so good!”

Your mouth drops open when Jiraiya pushes his hips in. His eyes flutter for a moment from the sensation. There’s a dull thunk when you relax your tense neck and your head hits the desk. Your body rocks with the motion of his slow thrusts. It got faster. Then faster. The pace picked up gradually until you were rocking the whole desk rapidly. It was hard too. When his hips connected to your ass it sent ripples along your skin and tingles up your spine. The legs of the desk were squeaking against the floor and scooting backwards with the force.

At this point the whole estate probably knew their leader was having sex again. The way you cry his name was unbridled in volume. You have become blurry eyed and stimulated to the point of your muscles coiling. Your back is completely arching off of the desk. You dig your fingers into his skin involuntarily as you cum. He pauses pushed all the way inside of you to let you milk it.

You sat up slowly with shaky arms assisting you. You hold Jiraiya tightly and kiss him. He smiles when it breaks and quietly asks you how you feel. Is there really words for it? All you know is that you want more. He nods in agreement. More sounds good. He picked you up by your ass and adjusted you. There was no position you didn’t explore on that desk. Back, front, legs up, one down, one up. At one point you and him switched where he was on the desk and you were on top. It came to an end with a glorious climax. By the end of it all you could do was sit next to him on the floor and try to catch some breath. You nuzzled right up against him. He holds you and kisses you.

“I love you.” You say again. This almost feels too good to be real.

“I love you too.” Jiraiya was more than happy to say it back. It’s not scary when it’s someone he’s always cared about.

Someone came in during that blissful afterglow and shrieked about the mess. By their aged voice, you’d guess one of the elders. All of them were shrill, even Danzo had his moments. You shrink down behind the desk as you worried about someone seeing you. They already disapproved of you as an aid, they’ll have a cow if they see you naked and freshly fucked by the Hokage. Jiraiya had quickly thrown his pants back on and stood up to calm the person down. He took the blame for it all claiming he just got fed up and felt like throwing his work.

“But the mess? Why did you do it?!” They demanded and explanation.

“It certainly made me feel better. Don’t worry, I’ll clean it up!” Jiraiya tried to please them with that promise and began to push them to the door.

“And where’s your aid? Isn’t this her job?”

“Not really. She has better things to do than clean up my mess. Just leave so I can clean!”

The door slammed. You came out of your hiding spot. You approach Jiraiya with a smile and hug him. He held you tightly and kissed you. It’s never felt so good to hold somebody. He began to sink to his knees, bringing you with him to the floor. Your back hit the wood as he pinned you under him with your gorgeous body framed by the paper like you popped straight from it. You kept whispering those precious words to him as he kissed you. He has no choice but to smile and say them back.

That was two years ago...

Its hard to believe that much time has passed. So much has changed...

You knock on the door to the Hokage’s office. There’s a slightly distracted sounding invitation to come in. You aren’t his aid anymore, it’d be rude to wander in. You are trying to surprise him anyways. You open the door and smile. Jiraiya is writing away like a mad man. The pile of done paperwork was stacked neatly and sealed aside from this last one he was just about to sign off on. He looked up and smiled.

“Hey honey!” He greeted you. Then his expression lit up more at the sight of the baby in your arms. “Hey, it’s the little guy! You brought him too!”

He scrawled his signature and finished with a dramatic period at the end. He put the paper on the top of the pile and left his desk to say a proper hello to his family. He pulled you close and kissed you. Then scooped the nine month old out of your hands to give him some kisses too.

Kiragi laughed that wonderful baby laugh as his father blew a raspberry on his belly and pretended to gnaw at him by dragging his teeth gently on the babe’s tummy and making obscene eating noises. Jiraiya quickly grew into his role as a father. He was comfortable with his baby. He liked doing all the different challenges that a family brought. Like waking up at odd hours of the night to comfort and feed his baby. Or pretending to munch on Kiragi’s cheek while the cute little thing was attempting to feed himself. Playing peek a boo and tickling his son to see that big toothless smile. The house was always filled with baby laughter because of his efforts.

Little Kiragi was a cute wee baby. He was all chub. A big fat happy baby that took after his father. He’s got a headful of fluffy white hair and happy grey eyes. It’s not just the physical traits either. Not even one and you’ve caught him causing some trouble. He can crawl away quickly to hide after he’s caused some mischief, much like his daddy does. They smile in the same way when they want you to not get mad when they did something bad. He’s on the cusp of talking but not there yet. He babbled half words and laughed as Jiraiya played around with him. It forced you and Jiraiya to watch how you talk. Neither you or him wanted Kiragi’s first words to be vulgar.

So far Jiraiya has made one big misstep when it came to fatherhood. He took Kiragi with him to work without telling you. He just decided you needed a break and he could work just fine with a baby in his lap. But as a new mother who was still incredibly emotional from the wild hormonal ride that was pregnancy, you reacted poorly. You raised all levels of hell. You even summoned a team of ANBU. They flew into action as the missing child of the Hokage could mean war. They were gone for only a few minutes. They returned with your sheepish looking husband holding the unharmed very happy baby. Jiraiya felt like garbage after stressing you out like that. You were in tears and shaking because you were so scared that you lost your baby. It was irrational when you look at in retrospective. There’s no way Jiraiya would let anything happen to his kid.

Still so... You are frightening. You stepped up and threatened an ANBU when they mentioned something about Kiragi. While the mask hid their face, it was clear they were taken aback. It was the only time you or Jiraiya saw an elite crack and show emotion. He never takes Kiragi out without telling you now. You love and protect that little bundle with an intense ferocity. It’s now a funny story you share with friends that makes Jiraiya red in the face. He was long forgiven, you just enjoy picking on him when the opportunity shows itself. Plus he quickly redeemed himself when he got Kiragi to laugh for the first time. That baby laugh was addictive to listen to.

And as a husband? Jiraiya was phenomenal. He’s not perfect, no one is, but he tries. He’s affectionate and loving. He kisses you and calls you beautiful. You come home to a sexy older man who is well practiced in many things. He’s loyal too. The moment he got involved with you, he stopped seeing other girls. He turns them away from his office. He takes their hands off of him and tells them to go. He’s got a beautiful wife now, he doesn’t need them. He’s always loved you, he honestly just didn’t know it. It all made sense now. He refused to let you go because he never just saw you as his old student. Your mind and beauty are a rare thing that he knew he shouldn’t have let go. He almost lost you and a world without you would have sucked. He only became Hokage because he needed your support. You still do support him, you just do it from home. While you are still a trained ninja, you prefer to be at home with the kid. But Jiraiya always assures you that the door is still open if you ever wanted to go back into active duty.

“I thought we were going to meet up at the restaurant?” Jiraiya asked. He tore his attention away from his adorable little one to look at you. It was hard as Kiragi was babbling for more attention and his chubby fingers poked his dad right in the cheek.

“I figure you’d like it better if we met you at work.” You answer.

“It is a good surprise.” He paused to kiss you again. “I just finished my work. Let’s get out of here before they drop more on me.”

“Shouldn’t you get those filed?” You point to the stack and raise a brow.

“Meh.” He shrugged. “It can wait a day.”

You scoff. He scoffs. You meet his gaze evenly and curl your lips into a tight frown. After a moment, Jiraiya cracks first and smiles. You smile as well and pull him down by the front of his shirt for a kiss. You aren’t his aid anymore but the habit was still there. Only now you can be sarcastic and you get to make out with him. You are probably even more critical of him as his wife than you were when just his aid. He ushered you to the door while looking down the hall with a frown. He shed his robe along the way, not wanting to walk around advertising who he is. People will still recognize him, but it’ll be a bit slower if he looks like a regular citizen out with his family.

“Jiraiya!” The crow voice of Koharu bellowed from the other end of the hall.

“Damn it!” Your husband hissed in your ear. He handed you back Kiragi and turned around to face the approaching elder. He’s gonna need all of his focus to deal with the old crow.

“Just what are you doing, boy! You have work to do!” She yelled at him.

Jiraiya crosses his arms and scowls. “I already told you that I was taking a half day today.”

“Only if you finished your work!”

“And I did! It’s on my desk.”

They bickered back and forth. Koharu looked past him to you. She scowled in disapproval.

She didn’t like you. The elder council was old fashioned. They are also just old entitled people. It got out that you were a month pregnant when you got married to their leader. They didn’t like that, but were at least nicer to Jiraiya once he got married. The only reason they treat you decently is because you mothered the Hokage’s son. They still were kinda hoping he’d take the kid and dump you for a more powerful woman. You don’t got any sort of jutsu to pass through the blood and clearly the kid needs a better shot a life than you can provide. They don’t like that you are young and once his student. They think you are too young and irresponsible to raise a family. They think you are after something with Jiraiya’s titles and status. Which was absolute bull, but it was fun to mess with them by playing along sometimes. At one point you and Jiraiya tricked them into thinking that Kiragi wasn’t Jiraiya’s kid and that there was one hell of a scandal going on. The office gets really boring without you here, so he plots with you instead to make some fun.

The elders have gotten a few earfuls of fuck off from Jiraiya when they go too far with their comments. As he sees it, he’s in love and that’s enough. You agree. Your child doesn’t even need to become a shinobi if he doesn’t want to. Which caused the elders to practically have heart attacks. Kiragi may be the Hokage’s son, but he won’t be forced into doing anything. He’s a person not a pawn. Hiruzen was the exception to this. He was incredibly sweet to you. He usually stopped to talk to you and coo at your baby when you visited Jiraiya at the estate. It was obvious how proud he was that Jiraiya found someone and was making a growing family. The other old bats were just sour about the whole thing.

“Bah! Bah!” Kiragi pointed to his father and gestures he wants to be held by him with little grabbing motions with his wee chubby hands.

You rock him and hush him, not wanting him to interrupt. Jiraiya casts a glance behind him and smiles at his family.... It’s nice having one. Just from looking at them he knows he’s made the right decisions in life. He’s never been more motivated to live. He ain’t really living when he’s stuck in the estate. 

“Koharu! I don’t want to fight today.” Jiraiya raised his hand in a gesture for the old woman to stop. He does not have time for this. “I’m spending time with the people I love. I told you a few years ago when I agreed to take this position that you’d have to give me reasonable time off. Don’t bother me unless there’s an invasion or something.”

“Well I!” She huffed.

He span on his heel and left with you, not even waiting for the old woman to finish her sentence. He took Kiragi back to carry him. His hand pressed on your back while the other held the happy baby. Behind you, you could feel the sour cat butthole lips Koharu was doing while glaring at the back of your head. Your man had chosen you, which of course must mean you are a terrible wife who is selfish for wanting his time over supporting him to stay at the office. But Jiraiya was never married to his work. He still slacked off when he could. But today he caught it all up so he could spend his day with no worries. It’s a time of peace after all, there’s no reason a Kage from any nation should work so hard.

Your family was only a little bit late. Minato and Kushina were already there at a table. Little Naruto was running circles around the table. He had just turned three. He was happy and had too much energy. He was practically bouncing off the walls. He gasped and ran towards Jiraiya.

“Uncle!” He cries out in joy.

Jiraiya squatted down and caught Naruto in his free arm. He lifted the toddler up and he now had two handfuls of children.

“Hey kiddo! Did you get bigger?” Jiraiya asked with a smile.

“Yes! I got big!” Naruto agreed happily. He bounced on his butt excitedly as he chatted. “I big like you!”

“Really? I’m not sure if you are my size yet. Maybe in a few years!”

“Yah!”

Jiraiya attempted disassembled the children from his body once he made it to the table. It was difficult as Kiragi got a handful of his bangs and Naruto was climbing all over him in an attempt to stay with him. Kids always liked him but now they were attracted to him like flies to honey since he became a father. Not that he minded all that much. Helping inspire the youth is part of his job. He’s gotten a reputation as one of the friendliest leaders since he always stopped to chat with the curious children. They seemed to like the big man who was the epitome of a friendly giant. Half the time you find him late for his meetings because he’s sitting on the ground entertaining a class of children that had surrounded him with his stories and tricks. He had them all mesmerized by his dramatic retellings and wide gestures with his hands as he spoke. He managed to get Naruto to settle in his chair and Kiragi in a high chair next to you. Both boys whined but stayed put when he asked them.

Your friends finally got a chance to greet you. They stood up and smiled. Minato went in for the big hug for you and your husband. Kushina was similarly friendly but more harsh as her hugs were more bone crushing. They were a blessing to be around. Their love and warmth for others was so wholesome.

They’ve been incredibly supportive. When they learned you and Jiraiya were an item, they reacted very positively. Sure, they were surprised because of the interesting circumstances, but quickly became happy that you and Jiraiya found each other. Both of them were very excited to have another couple to hang out with. Both of them were apart of the wedding and are your baby’s godparents. It was excellent to have someone else your age doing this whole parent thing. While Jiraiya was older, he was the biggest kid at heart and wasn’t sure where to start with this whole journey. Now he has his students to rely on, who became his family. It all just came together perfectly with his students having kids at the same time where you both could learn from a reliable source. Minato and Kushina were happy to teach you and Jiraiya a few things for once. Getting together with Jiraiya has actually gotten you closer with them. Minato and Kushina had become the siblings you’ve always wanted.

“We um have something to announce.” Minato interrupted politely.

Kushina beamed and raised her glass like it was a toast. “I’m pregnant again!”

“What!” You gasp. “Same here!”

Minato beamed. He looked over to Jiraiya, expecting the same reaction. His expression dropped a little with a quick realization. The smile on Jiraiya’s face dropped to confusion. He looked at you squarely.

“I’m sorry what?” He asked.

“Oh!” It hit you that you forgot to tell him. “I found out this morning and I was going to tell you tonight, but this is just too perfect!”

He tilts his head at your curiously. “And your body can handle that? You just had our son.”

“Oh please, I didn’t just have him!”

You wave off his concern. Yes it’ll be hard on your body, but Jiraiya and you agreed on at least three kids. Having another right away shouldn’t be too much harder. Kushina holds onto your hands and jumps with you in excitement. You share a hug and excited chatter. She’s only a month ahead of you. Which means these babies can grow up together. Same classes! Same friends! They’ll be cradle to grave friends. Together until the end. It was much like you had with Minato. Having that for your child would be wonderful!

The whole lunch was abuzz with the happy conversation about babies. Minato and Jiraiya were mostly quiet as their wives chatted on about all the play dates their kids are going to go on. They more or less shrugged and agreed to pack a flask for all these outings at the park. At least it means always hanging out together. 

After lunch, you said a happy goodbye to your friends and went home with your family. You set Kiragi down for his nap. He’s a pretty easy baby and falls asleep quickly. When you step out of the nursery, Jiraiya is right there waiting for you. He pulled you close and kissed you. His hand stroked down your torso and settled on the area he knows is holding his child.

“Another baby already, hm?” He was looking at your belly and not your face. It was more like he was talking to the baby rather than speaking to you. Another one doesn’t sound bad. Maybe a daughter this time. A little girl would be a nice new curve to master. He’s already picturing a little sister for Kiragi that’ll look just like you. But another son won’t be bad either. He already knows almost everything about raising a boy. He’s just happy to be so lucky to have a growing family.

“That’s right.” You confirm with a smile.

A smile grows on his lips. He pulls you flush against his body. His hands move to grab your butt.

“Whatever shall we do to celebrate?” He asks with a sarcasm you know well.

You smile at him. You place your hands on his shoulders. You kiss him. There’s really only one thing you can do.

“Practice making the next one?” You suggest.

“Sounds good!”

Jiraiya picked you up off of your feet. You and him laugh as he takes you away to the bedroom. You and him celebrate late into the night! Life really is perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I did good darling! I didn’t want to make it too angsty or anything so I tried to hit it in the middle and get that juxtaposition with the time gap.


	40. Frisky Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As an employee of a love bar, you get tons of attention. As your boyfriend, Jiraiya is used to it. 
> 
> But there’s one thing that really makes him jealous. He’ll show you that you’re his girl and nobody else’s!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! But a soft warning! Kinky stuff like public sex and light bondage! Sum dirty talk in there too. All that good stuff to lightly introduce some of the kinkys. 
> 
> Also I think it’s more fun if you think of Jiraiya as a younger lad in this one. You’ll see why when you read it. But as always, you all do you!

It was a normal day at work. You had the closing shift. You are one of the more popular girls at the love bar, as such you get the prime time hours. You have on your favourite dress. It’s short, tight, and low cut. There wasn’t much of a theme to your work unlike other houses. The dress code was literally skirts short and no sleeves. It was a little cold on the legs, but there are worse things. You were just moving along throughout the night entertaining your customers when the bartender called you over.

“Hey.” The bartender, Mika, got your attention. He handed you an order you know well. “Your regular is here.”

You turn around to check. You have plenty of regulars, but you got a hunch it’s going to be your favourite. Some of your clients you like, others not so much. But you are a professional. It’s not like you can just blow a customer off. The money is too good. All the men you entertain are very appreciative of your work. But the man sitting in your section awaiting your attention? You like him a lot. In fact, you are dating him!

You expected Jiraiya to show up tonight. He always does at some point and you know he just got back from a mission. Why not? His girlfriend works at one of his favourite places in the whole wide world. He met you here and after months of only requesting you, he finally asked you out. He’s cute! You had no choice but to agree. Plus, you and him got along well after all the talking in that booth. There was no awkwardness and it was straight into coasting into a fun part of dating someone.

It was a good deal for Jiraiya to date you. You entertain him for free and he gets half off his drinks. It always put him in a great mood to visit you while you work. But he looked a little grumpy tonight. He’s sitting in the booth with his arms crossed and a hard frown on his handsome face. As you walk over to him with his usual order, it’s clear he’s more than just grumpy. He looks pissed.

“Hey honey!” You greet cheerfully. You turn up the charm in hopes it’ll knock the stick out of his ass.

“Hi.” Jiraiya returned your greeting in one flat note.

You set the bottle and cup down on the table. He must have had a bad day. Which is fine. You know how to cheer your man up. You fill the cup with his favourite drink and sit on his lap. He sat back to give you room. His favourite way for you to sit on him was to straddle his waist and block off the rest of his sight with your body. All so he can focus on you. It’s even sweeter when he’s been gone for so long. You do so and smile.

“What’s up, baby?” You ask in a sultry tone. You peck him with a kiss, but his lips barely respond. You pout when he doesn’t kiss you back.

Jiraiya reaches around you and grabs the cup. It’s a tad odd that he’s ignoring you. He’s been gone for over two months. Usually when he gets back from long missions, he’s so happy to see you. He can barely keep it in his pants when he’s been away for this long. His hands are usually all over you. Instead he looks up at you as he takes a drink. His gaze is cold as he stares at you with a slight bit of accusation. 

He downs the cup before finally paying you some attention. The faint tingle of the alcohol tickled your skin as he kissed your neck. His hands run up your sides then back down to hold your thighs. He pushes you forward until your body is pressed against his. His kisses move across your collar and his teeth lightly nibble at your skin. You hold onto his shoulders as he turns you on. You purr his name as he knows exactly what to do to make you feel good. His hands sneak under the tight material of your dress and push it up.

“Whoa!” You gasp.

This is risky even for him! You grip a fistful of his hair and pull him back. His cheeks are pink and his smile looks drunk. He can’t be drunk already. The man can drink an elephant under the table before feeling anything. He rubs your hips and licks his lips.

“You aren’t wearing a thing underneath this, are you?” Jiraiya asked. His smile turns more wicked and fake. It’s like he’s hiding anger behind it. “Looking to get lucky?”

“I knew you were coming tonight.” You answer. You bite back a yelp of surprise when he squeezed your ass hard. He probably left nail marks.

Jiraiya wasn’t ever so rough. The worst he’s done was pin you against a wall and hold your face right under your jaw while his tongue dominated your mouth. Sometimes he’ll whisper dirty things with his lips but a fraction away from yours and his tone is so shiver inducing in a good way. It’s deep, dark, and dangerous. He’s pinned your hands above your head in bed a few times too. Which is always fun as you struggle in his strong grip while he tickles your neck in light kisses and the tips of his hair brushing along your skin. He’s bitten your neck and lips. He’s slapped and gripped your ass more than a few times, but he usually asks if you want a few marks to show off. Right now he’s just being rough for no reason. Domineering and mean without a cause.

Now a man being rough with you wasn’t anything new. You can hold your own against the clients that think it’s okay to touch you more than necessary. They get angry when you call them out. You’ve dealt with worse than a rough grip on your ass. But you usually had Jiraiya to tell these dudes to fuck off. It took only a little bit of harassment before he’d get up and do something about it. He didn’t like it when your clients got too handsy. Jiraiya always had a bit of a jealous streak he never behaved like this. It’s your job to be a date for your customers and he’s always been reasonable about it. He even said it was sexy. His girlfriend is the most popular girl in the love house and he gets to go home with her. But if he’s acting like this, maybe he’s not as okay with it as originally thought.

“Ow!” You hiss quietly. He forced you down flush against his lap with one hard yank on your hips. “What’s with you tonight?”

“Like you don’t like it! I know how bad my girl is.”

You wanted to protest more, but Jiraiya moved his fingers down. His finger runs from one end to the other. You bite your lip and tense as he fingers you without a care if anyone saw. He’s usually not this blatant. When he visits, he is horny and touchy, but he is at least subtle! You sit next to him usually or in his lap side saddled to give him room to touch you in that dangerously frisky way. It was fun to push the boundaries. Jiraiya loved playing the dangerous game. Fingering his girlfriend in public with no one the wiser really appealed to him. It’s a shame you can’t do the same, but the higher ups look for this kind of thing when they do their walks around the floor. They aren’t so observant when it’s the other way around as most patrons like touching the legs and thighs of their dates. So long as you don’t fidget too much, it’s laughably easy to get away with. 

The activity got Jiraiya worked up and eager for more for when you got off work. So he didn’t mind so much. This however, is a bit more on the brazen side. It’s obvious that your dress is up and it’s even more obvious that his hand is between your legs. He’s not even touching his drink and you aren’t serving him, which is strange in a place that makes it’s money on drastic alcohol surcharges. Everyone knows he’s your boyfriend and you get distracted with him, but you still have an obligation to to your job.

His fingers retract, leaving you hot and bothered when so into how it felt. The element of danger here and it’s thrilling. He at least let’s you finish when he finger bangs you at work. Just what is his plan tonight? What in the world is he getting at? What did he want and why is he still looking at you like you dumped his drink on him? Something different pokes you. Your eyes lock with Jiraiya’s. He stares at you. You stare at him. He pushes on your hips again with a brow raised. This is getting too dangerous!

“Jiraiya! Are you crazy?” You growl between clenched teeth. You cast a look behind you with the worry your boss is already standing at the other side of the table tapping her foot with a disapproving glare. No one is there, but that doesn’t mean they won’t show up. “We can’t have sex here! I’ll get fired! My boss doesn’t care if you’re my boyfriend or not!”

“Then just pretend that it’s a lap dance. You do it for me all the time!”

“Do you really think this looks like a lap dance?!”

Jiraiya scoffs and rolls his eyes. He moves back in to make out with your neck. His teeth scrape against your skin. You are breathless and obviously turned on. You sink down when he guides you to willingly. You missed him and playing the most dangerous game ever was a challenge. Your fingers are twitching as you fail to find a grip on his shoulders. So you move them up into his hair and scratch at it how he likes. You are resisting the urge to buck and writhe when are flush against his hips again. It just feels so good! It’s been so long since you’ve been in this position.

“Oh Jiraiya...” You sigh. You did miss him. He’s been gone a lot on missions. Your whole body is tingling from the sensation and excitement. You are a loyal woman. You’ve been entertaining yourself to stay satisfied until he got back. He must feel the same if he’s too eager to wait until the security of your apartment to get it on.

His breath his hot against your neck. He utters your name in a mix of a moan and a growl. You always feel good. And it’s all his. Jiraiya held you hard against him. The way you are biting your lip and moaning under your breath is edging him on. Your fingers scratch against his scalp as you rock your hips. You dip your head closer against his face.

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

“Nothings wrong!” Jiraiya snarled at you.

“Ah!” You cry out.

You fly a hand up to cover your mouth. Your legs feel both weak and tense as he forces you to ride him fast. His hands squeeze your ass for a grip as he pushes up and down the length of his cock at a blinding speed. It’s a good thing it’s dark in this place! It’s blatantly obvious you are doing something dirty with him, but it’s made harder with the poor lighting. The soft music is a bit of a hinderance. Another cry like that and it’ll get too much attention. The wet hit of skin against skin and heavy breathing was loud enough already.

The only saving grace for the noise was the chatter of the other tables around yours. Thankfully each booth has high dividers between them for intimacy between patron and server. So the noise was more contained in the booth space. It’s built like that so no one’s conversations are overlapping another as well as some privacy. The only downer was the big opening for people to look in and check on the customers. Also to check on the girls with them in case of shit like this going on. It will be hard to explain this one if anyone came waltzing by. Well if you get fired... it’s already worth it. Having sex right under the public’s nose is pretty fun. It’s almost too absurd to think about doing something so intimate out in the open. One passing glance from anyone and it’s all over. Better keep it quiet so no one has a reason to walk by. 

Jiraiya moves one of his hands. It travels up your back along your spine. His fingers trace the zipper of your dress for a moment before going up further to grab you by the back of the neck. He pushes you to him until your head is against the crook of his neck. You grip a handful of hair and whine. You’d rather kiss him than be stuck moaning against his skin. He enjoys the sounds you make. 

“I gotta say, this is the best lap dance I’ve ever gotten!” His breath is hot in your ear. He pushes your hips down again and forces you to stay there completely impaled. “Do I get a tip for making the dancer cum?”

“J-Jiraiya! Please!” You can barely contain yourself to be quiet. Your hips keep twitching forward with a need to keep going. You are right on the edge and he knows it.

“Tell me...” Jiraiya trailed off as he pushed on your lower back to start a slower rhythm. “Does anyone else make you feel this way?”

“No! Just you!”

“I thought so. I knew no one is as good as me!” He sounded happy at first. Then he grit his teeth and hissed into your ear. “And you won’t ever get as good as me!”

You can’t even form words. You hold onto him and ride him exactly how he wants. The added roll to your hips was so good! It’s rubbing in just the right place where you get that hit of stars in your vision. You grip his hair and pull on it. He’s panting your name over and over. His gaze is on something else, his eyes are straight ahead and glaring. He may be just looking out for anyone catching the show. God knows if he’ll throw you off or try to save face a different way. But knowing him, probably not.

It’s a bit of a difficult task to fuck like this. You can’t switch up the positions without rousing suspicion or attention. Despite that, it is a great amount of fun! Jiraiya is having the time of his life fucking you in the middle of your workplace. If he had it his way, and it was socially acceptable, he’d throw you on the table and fuck you every which way possible whilst staring people down. But he can’t. Not yet anyways. Maybe if you ever want to quit he’ll make a show of it. The least he can do for now is rub your clit to push you closer to going over the edge. You pull him back by the hair, where his head thunked against the booth. You hold his lips captive before he can complain.

There’s a slight throbbing sensation at the back of his head. Jiraiya was going to break the kiss and do something about it. He loves kissing you but he has something to prove to you. He hesitates when your whole body tenses and you grind down on him. Your whines are muffled and desperate. The muscles in your legs are spasming. You must be close. So he gives in and plays with your tongue with his in a messy passionate kiss. His hips rise up as his back arches from the seat. He can’t help it. He’s been so pent up and horny that finally having sex with you has got him eager to finish. He’s been rearing for you since he sat down. Plus, he knows he’s proved his point. You do cum first, but it’s only elevated when he finishes a second after you.

It passed several long moments later. You collapse against Jiraiya a shaky out of breath sweaty mess. You hold onto him weakly as you pant against his neck. His whole body is moving with deep breaths as he tries to recover. He has his arms around you and head tilted back. You sit up just enough to look at him. You run your fingers through his hair as you try to figure out what that was all about.

“What’s going on? Are you mad at me?” You ask.

Jiraiya huffs and looks away. He muttered something under his breath you didn’t quite catch. He’s pouting and still looks a little cheesed. He drops his head to look straight ahead. His gaze is burning with anger as he eyed down someone behind you. You look over your shoulder to see who he’s got beef with. It’s the bartender he’s glaring at with such animosity.

“What do you have against Mika?” You wonder. “I figured you would like the man who gave you booze.”

Your boyfriend is still glowering. You look him up and down as you try to figure out what got him so territorial over you. It’s not like you like Mika, not in that way at least. He’s not your type. He’s a good friend and all. He’s very sweet and looks out for the girls that work here. You get through most of your tough days with him there to cut the stress with his jokes, hugs, and shots he secretly pours for you to knock back. But you aren’t into him like that. He ain’t into you like that either. He’s got a girlfriend.

Well now that you think about it, Jiraiya never really liked Mika. He practically choked you before he left for his mission with his tongue down your throat. He took an obvious glance to the other man with a frown when the kiss broke. You got flowers delivered to work from Jiraiya after he left. Same with a few rather fancy gift baskets that had hearts all over it and filled with things you like. Things like your favourite fruits and candies. As well as wine and gift certificates to the stores you love to shop at. He must have custom ordered each one. They were so big you had to share them with your coworkers.

It was a tad strange that Jiraiya would send you so much so quickly. He’s always been a caring significant other, but he sent the occasional gift or he gave them to you personally as a cherry on top of the surprise that he’s home. It meant a lot more that way too. Being spoiled like this was a bit over the top. Each time Mika was the one to hand it to you with a special message from your boyfriend. The friendly bartender made a comment about how your boyfriend seemed a little peeved about him being around you everyday.

“Oh!” You gasp with a realization. You look at Jiraiya and grin. “Are you jealous?”

Wow he can get red! You watch with amusement as Jiraiya turns the colour of a ripe strawberry. You giggle and kiss his burning cheek. He’s still pouting and puffing his cheeks out like a fussy five year old. He’s sunk down in his seat as you laugh at him.

“You know I’m dating you right?” You say to him. You poke his nose, which causes him to bat your hand away. “And I like Mika, but I don’t wanna bang him.”

“Really?” Jiraiya looks at you. There’s no anger in his tone or in his face now, just that search for reassurance. “I know I’m not here a lot, but...” He sighs and presses his forehead against your shoulder as he holds you tightly. “I like you so much and I just don’t want to ruin things because I’m gone so much.”

“It’s okay!” You assure him and hug his head. “I miss you when you leave, but get so excited when you come back! I spend my nights alone just thinking about you.”

You jump a little when he grabs your ass. He quite likes this part of your body. It’s a lot more gentle this time as he rubs your rump without digging his fingers in. You can feel him smirking against your skin.

“In what way do you think about me?” He asks in that perverse tone you know well.

“Oh? I’m sure you can guess. But let’s just say my fingers pale in comparison to the real thing.”

Jiraiya giggles like the natural perv he is. He sits back normally and sighs. You sink down again, making him groan from the feeling. He gently rubs your hips and butt like he usually does when you sit on him. It’s rather soothing to the bruises he most definitely put on them from the rough round of fun. He looks over you slowly. He’s not bright red anymore. His expression is relaxed and amused. A regretful amusement.

“Sorry for being an ass.” He spoke after a moment of silence.

Jiraiya does feel foolish for getting so hotheaded over this. He saw you laughing so hard with that bartender before he left he just stewed on it. He spent the entire mission convincing himself that weasel was trying to take you away from him. With jokes! First jokes, then talks! After that it’ll be the comments about him then convincing you that Jiraiya isn’t meant for you since he’s never there for you. Then you’ll soon be swooning for that smooth talking mixologist! All while your boyfriend is out doing things for the village and while he’s doing it he’s getting cucked! And yeah, Jiraiya spent a small fortune on gifts to send you as a not so gentle reminder that he’s your boyfriend and he’s thinking about you. He thinks about you every day! He doesn’t want you to go away! 

Okay, he does feel silly now that you’ve told him you aren’t into this Mika fellow. He got too deep in his own head while out in the country doing recon. At one point he was so lost in overthinking he asked the enemy he was tailing what they thought he should do. They weren’t so forthcoming as he was in the middle of interrogating them in the squishy safety of a toad tummy. He probably sounded insane as he was the crazy toad man ranting endlessly about his girlfriend hanging out with her coworker to a complete stranger who doesn’t know him.

Hopefully his jealousy doesn’t ruin your opinion of him. Or worse, ruin the great relationship he has with you. Jiraiya is completely aware he becomes an idiot when he falls in love. He brain stops working correctly around you or just thinking about you makes him goofy.

“Apology accepted!” You chirp at him and give him a quick kiss. You keep your face close to his and whisper. “It’s actually kinda hot to see you so possessive. Maybe I should flirt with other men.”

You watch with a grin as Jiraiya’s smile drops. He narrows his eyes after a moment and pulls you back flush against him. He squeezes your ass hard again and sneers.

“You better not! Or do I gotta show you why you’re my girl and no one else’s?”

“Why don’t you show me? I’m not sure if I’m convinced you have what it takes!”

He leans forward to catch your lips in a kiss. He bites your lower lip before pulling back. It wasn’t hard enough to make it bleed but it tingles from the lasting pain.

“I’ll be in your apartment, with a few things to help me show you.” Jiraiya told you in a dark and low tone. He pushes you off of his lap and he fixes himself before standing. He holds your chin and forces your head up to look at him. “Be there in a half hour or else I’ll find you.”

You simply smile in response. He gives you one last rough kiss before strutting off. It’s interesting to see the kinkier side of Jiraiya come around. While he has pinned you down and whatnot, he’s never tied you up or denied you of anything. It should be fun to play around tonight.

You run up to the bar and tell Mika to tell the boss you are going home sick. He just raises his brows like he already knew what you were going to do. He didn’t see much but could feel the blast of cold air from Jiraiya and saw the malicious grin on the other man as he passed by. Even if there’s no reason to be jealous, Jiraiya still doesn’t like Mika and feels a great amount of satisfaction that you are going to be rushing home just for him to do very naughty things with.

You run home as best you can. It was more like a hobble situation as you had some stiffness already settling into your pelvis. You probably won’t be able to walk tomorrow. Especially if Jiraiya plans on showing you just what it means to be his. You open the door to your apartment only to be grabbed by the arm and pinned to the closest wall.

“I think you’re a little late.” Jiraiya tells you with a sly grin. “I was about to go get you.”

“And do what to me?” You ask.

“How do I know you weren’t fooling around with someone? I think you ought to be punished.”

You grip his arms and smirk. It is rather fun to see him like this. He pulls on the bottom of your dress.

“I think I’ve been very naughty.” You agree. You wiggle your hips to help him get you out of your dress. It hits the floor around your ankles . You weave your fingers behind the back of his neck. You stand on your toes to get closer to his face. “And naughty girls need to be taught a lesson.”

Jiraiya picks you up and takes you to the bedroom. He couldn’t agree more with your statement! He pulls off the sash holding his kosode closed. While he distracted you with kisses, he ties your hands to the headboard using the strip of material. When he pulls back to inspect, you look absolutely delicious tied up. You smile at him and pull on the tight bonds. They don’t budge or slip. You are at this man’s mercy. He moves his hands down your body as he sits back up on his knees. His hands stop at your calves. He lifts one up and puts a kiss on your knee.

Those lovely lips of his curl into a smile as Jiraiya looks you over. Trouble is in his eyes as his mind formulated a plan. He will teach you a thing or two. Fuck it, he’ll teach you all night if he has to!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figure I should start doing a few scenarios that involve some of Jiraiya’s hobbies. Such as hot springs chilling(peeping) or in this case, love house/bar drinking. I always had an idea where he met a special gal at one and kept coming back just to see her as he had developed feelings for her. Only in this one he’s just as possessive as he is protective. Which is like... damn. I know we all into a protective boi but what about a possessive boi? Perhaps yandere boi. Wanna write that one but still finding the plot as well as dictating the level of crazy he would tap into. 
> 
> I can’t believe that I’ve written 40 chapters. I got a whack load more. I’m shooting for like 100 but who knows! I’m doing this all for fun! I’m just happy so many of you read and like the trash fanfics I write in my plentiful spare time.


	41. Two White Lilies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the past three years at the same time, Jiraiya returns to the village with one purpose in mind... but this year he has a couple of reasons to return. When given the opportunity, he’s not sure what he’ll do. His freedom, or a better future for his child?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: death of the reader
> 
> It’s been a while since I bummed y’all out!  
> Enjoy~!
> 
> He’d be about mid to late thirties in this scenario and you would be too, dear reader.

With a fond smile, Hiruzen watches the little girl hiding behind her father’s leg. She’s barely peeking out from behind it while holding handfuls of his pants for security. Her little face contorted into a furrow. It wasn’t quite a scowl, it’s not angry enough. It was thoughtful but distrustful. It was like she was focused too hard on trying to figure out who the old man in front of her is.

“Sayuri.” Jiraiya called her name and scooted her forward away from her hiding spot behind him. “It’s alright, he won’t hurt you.”

The sagely old leader waved at her. She chanced letting go of Jiraiya’s pants with only one hand to wave back. She didn’t like new people.

“This is my teacher. Remember I was telling you about him?” Jiraiya asked her.

Sayuri nodded. She’s quiet. He didn’t like talking all that much unless it’s with her daddy. Because daddy told her she shouldn’t trust strangers. She looks up from her scowling to look at Jiraiya. He had put his hand on the top of her head and smiled at her.

“She looks so much like her mother.” The old man chances treading into that territory.

The smile on Jiraiya’s face turned tired and, to the trained eye, sad. His little girl tilts her head slightly in confusion. She never liked or understood why her father always looked to sad whenever someone mentioned mommy. He gently fixed her white hair, pushing away her bangs to show off her whole face. The hair was inherited from him and everyone thinks that’s why she’s named after the white lily.... She really does have your face.

“Yeah... she does.” Jiraiya eventually says.

The door opens. Sayuri nearly jumps out of her skin. She scrambled to climb up her father for safety. He huffed a laugh and held her. He’ll be the first to admit he has been a little overbearing as a parent. He’s warned her several times that strangers are dangerous. She’s grown up fearful, but he couldn’t lose her too. Her face is nuzzled into his chest as she clung onto his shirt with tight fists. He rubs her back to soothe her of her stranger anxiety.

“It’s alright, kiddo.” He comforts her. “This guy is someone you can trust! Don’t you remember him?”

The quiet four year old timidly turns her head to see who was there. She narrowed her eyes at the blonde man looking at her with the same friendly smile as the old man that was behind her. But the way that her father speaks to that man does make her feel better. It’s the same somewhat quiet and calm tone he uses when talking to her.

“It’s good to see you again, Minato. You look good.” Jiraiya greeted his old student fondly.

“Thanks, sensei. You look good too!” Minato beamed. He turned his attention back to the little girl looking at him. “And little Sayuri too! I haven’t seen you in so long!”

She curls her face back into Jiraiya’s chest when he spoke to her. He couldn’t help but chuckle. How strange to see the daughter of his very confident teacher so shy. Then again, you were more introverted. Soft spoken and quiet in comparison to your loud voiced husband. Maybe that trait was passed on.

Hiruzen politely cleared his throat. Everyone turned their attention back to him.

“I need to speak to you alone, Jiraiya.” He said. He gestured to Minato. “I’ve summoned someone I know you trust to look after your daughter while we talk.”

Jiraiya visibly tensed. He’s never been separated from Sayuri for too long. He rarely leaves her ever. The idea still scared him. While he is fully aware no one in Konoha will harm his child, it’s hard to let go of that control over her safety into someone else’s hands. Even if that someone is a person who he trusts with his life.

“I no wanna leave you, daddy.” Sayuri whispered.

Those words yank on his heart. He sighs and puts a kiss on the top of her head. He didn’t want to leave her either. She clung onto his kosode tighter and pulled the hems closer to cover her eyes.

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m gonna have to leave you with my friend.” He said in a hushed tone.

He gently peeled her away from his chest to hand her off to Minato. Sayuri didn’t like to complain. She stayed quiet but looked betrayed. She stuck her lip out in a pout as she looked at him with teary eyes. It hurt to be separated from someone he loves so much. But he has a duty as a ninja to follow his leader’s orders.

It still took a while. Jiraiya took his time comforting his daughter with enough promises that held the weight of the world and all it’s jewels. He pet her head and spoke to her sweetly. She eventually let Minato take her away. She dragged her fingers along Jiraiya’s with that continued want to be with him. She held onto Minato’s hand as he lead her out of the office, but kept looking back to her father. Jiraiya stared at the door after it closed. He bit the inside of his cheek as he contemplated running to go get her back. His heart already aches to have her next to him. It just felt wrong.

“I know how hard it is to let go.” Hiruzen spoke again. He’s a father of two himself. He understands the struggle of letting one’s babies go out without constant parental watch. “But she’ll be fine. I won’t take up too much of your time.”

“Then let’s get this over with.” Jiraiya crosses his arms and tried to put his worry behind him. He turned back around to face the old leader with a firm expression. “Why did you summon me back?”

“I’m considering retiring.”

“And why is that my problem?”

“Jiraiya, please. You know what I’m going to ask.”

He grimaced. He shook his head after a moment.

“Is it really such a horrible request?” Hiruzen asks. “Think of your daughter. A good steady job as Hokage gives her better options here.”

“Don’t use her to try and convince me..”

“It means you’ll be closer to... both of them.”

A lump formed in Jiraiya’s throat. The mention of you still hurts. Even if he’s come to terms with your untimely death.... hearing it still felt like a stab to the heart.

“Don’t do that to me.” He didn’t have the strength to speak above a whisper. “Not today.”

“Just consider it before you completely reject the idea. You have the future of your little one to keep in mind. Not just your own.”

“...”

Hiruzen looks him over with a small frown. Jiraiya would make an excellent leader. It’s quite a shame he always turns the opportunity down. He’s clever and responsible. Having a child has certainly forced him to grow into maturity. He’s got excellent judgment and holds the values he was taught since toddlerhood. Passing the torch to Jiraiya was the most natural step to take. It made the most sense and it’s hard to find anyone else who would make a good leader. But your death still haunts him. It probably kills him to be in Konoha for more than a day. He still has on his wedding ring and yours is around his neck looped through a string of silver. It’s clear he hasn’t moved on. Hiruzen sighs after a moment. He only mentioned you and Sayuri in hopes Jiraiya will actually consider it for longer than a second. He knows very well that time of year it is. The sentimental value of this day makes Jiraiya a little weaker emotionally. It’s a dirty trick... but hopefully it’ll help him realize what is best for him.

Being the child of the Hokage also means plenty of better opportunities. Surely any father would want that for their child. A good education and steady income. It means food and shelter too. How Jiraiya manages to take care of himself and his little daughter while always on the road is a mystery. In fact, Jiraiya looks a little on the skinny side and Sayuri is quite small for her age. The hard times don’t have to be hard if he wasn’t so stubborn.

“Think of what it’ll mean for Sayuri.” Hiruzen urged again. He smiled after a momentary pause. “I believe Minato took her to one of the lily fields a little off path by the cemetery. Good lad, that boy. He knows you well.”

Jiraiya nods before leaving. He can’t even speak. The lump in his throat had rose and expanded just behind his tongue. Is he really so predictable? He wants to visit you with a gift like anyone would want to do to their lost love. Especially today of all days.

Lilies are your favourite. White lilies in specific made you so happy. They were simple and pretty despite their lack of colour. There was something about them you always loved. You would always put one in Jiraiya’s hair behind his ear whenever he brought you a bouquet, saying how they remind you of him too. He never minded it. He actually quite liked it. No one ever compared him to such pretty things before. He held his head high whenever he had a white bloom in his hair from his beloved. He always got a few strange looks, but he didn’t care. It made him feel good to carry around a piece of you.

He drowned in them when you passed away. It was almost like a cruel joke. They are a popular sympathy flower. While he appreciated that so many people wanted to offer their condolences, it was like staring at a room of you. All these white lilies with no where to put them. Your grave was already full of them and they kept piling.

He pauses to watch his kid and student interact at a distance. Leaning against a tree to stay partially hidden. Just for a minute or so to collect his thoughts and watch how they’re getting along. Minato is knelt on the ground at Sayuri’s level. She’s still behaving a little stand offish. She stood a foot away from him and barely casted him a glance. She was quiet as she answered his questions. That was pretty good. That’s her way of saying she liked him.

“What about that one?” Minato points to a flower.

“It pretty.” Sayuri said.

“Did you want that one too?”

She nods. He smiles at her and breaks the stem from the ground before handing it to her. For the first time, Sayuri finally smiled at him. She had quite the bouquet of wild flowers in her hands. That included all different colours of lilies. They grow native around here. The ditches and grass beside paths of the Land of Fire is decorated with lilies. It’s quite pretty. You used to pick them as a kid... kinda like how Sayuri is doing now.

“Why do you want so many lilies?” Minato asked. He crawled away to another bush of them where she ran to. He plucked the ones she pointed at.

“It mommy’s favourite! And daddy said I gotta go see her.”

“And you want to give her all of her favourites?”

“Yea.”

“Okay. But maybe we should leave a few.”

“Why?”

Minato pauses for a moment. If he let’s this continue, the whole field will be picked. It’s a popular one since it’s so near the graveyard. Plenty of people pluck a few flowers for the people they are going to visit. There’s technically a limit so that everyone has a chance to grab a few. The only thing saying as such was a politely worded sign at the edge of the field where people usually enter from to pick. It’s not enforced, but it’s frowned upon to take more than what’s recommended. Which is a concept he’s not sure the wee little girl will understand. He hates lying to kids. He hates telling them no too. These flowers are for you after all. And with the timing of it all, it’s the anniversary of your death. Which is also... Sayuri’s birthday. How can he say no to a little girl on her birthday?

“Uh... so they can grow bigger for next year?”

Sayuri looks at her big bouquet she put together. It is starting to get heavy and it’s almost too big for her to hold. A section of the field is blank of pretty colours because she’s holding them all. Waiting another year to give you bigger flowers sounded like a good plan. She can give you pretty giant ones next year!

“Okay.” She agreed.

He sighed. Good, she believed him. He patted her head, which she didn’t shy away from this time. The nice blonde man was growing on her. He kinda reminds her of her father. Quiet and nice.

“Sayuri!” Jiraiya called her name from his spot a few feet away. He left his hiding spot and was waiting by the edge where the path and the field meet.

“Daddy!” She gasped. She ran to him excitedly.

He caught her and lifted her up. She held onto him like he’s been missing from her life for years. She presented the flowers in her hands with pride.

“Look what I got!”

“Very pretty.” Jiraiya said with a nod. “Those for mommy?”

“Uh huh! Will she like them?”

“You picked them! She’ll love them.”

Sayuri beamed a wide smile. She stared at her assembled bouquet with pride. Jiraiya let his smile drop. He distracted himself from any negative thoughts by fixing some of the stray hairs that escaped Sayuri’s hair ribbon. Her hair is as untameable as his is. The hard part is coming up. Taking the steps to the cemetery always felt like his feet suddenly had cinder blocks tied to them.

“That was a quick meeting.” Minato noted.

He was standing in front of Jiraiya with a curious look to his face. He’s too polite to pry more than his teacher is comfortable with sharing. But it was all rather sudden. Jiraiya doesn’t get requested to come back to the village unless it’s very serious. It was just strange. There’s nothing going on serious enough to require Jiraiya coming home, was there?

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jiraiya answers the non spoken question.

“Alright.” Minato shrugged it off then changed the subject. “Do you have dinner plans?”

“Not really.”

“How about at our place?”

“You don’t have to do that.” Jiraiya shook his head. He looks back down to his daughter. Who is playing with the petals of one of the flowers. She was too absorbed in the task to be paying attention to the conversation. He’s not one for charity. “I don’t want to intrude on your day.”

“Oh please! We don’t have anything planned tonight anyways.” Minato laughed. He put his hand firmly on Jiraiya’s shoulder. “Come on, let me and Kushina give Sayuri a good birthday. I insist! You know we’ll just drag you over anyways, sensei!”

A small smile cracks Jiraiya’s grim face. True enough. He skipped out last year... or tried too. He just got Sayuri down for a nap and Kushina found him. She dragged him out by his ear to have dinner with her and Minato no matter if he was in the mood for it or not. Neither she or her husband liked seeing him so blue. They are a nice distraction. They know what to say and do to make him forget the pain of your loss for a few hours. Which was usually to get him plastered on good wine and fed with his comfort foods.

“Heh... alright.” Jiraiya agreed. Good company sounds nice after such a long day. Going along with it is easier than getting dragged across town by that determined red head. He’ll be going since the choice is pretty much artificial. It’ll be nice to do something for Sayuri too. Her previous birthdays usually consisted of getting her a treat or a toy and not much else. Then again, the last soirée they held got out of hand. “Only if Kushina doesn’t plan anything crazy. The last birthday party you two hosted, the cops were called.”

“Don’t worry! A cop raid is more of a seventh birthday type of thing!”

The two men share a laugh. They said their goodbyes and split up with the promise to meet up after. A sinking sensation always takes over the moment Jiraiya faces that direction. The closer he gets to the cemetery, the worse this feeling builds. It’s knowing the cold hard sight, but always wanting it to be different. Jiraiya only takes a deep breath to steady his nerves. He didn’t like to rattle his daughter by behaving nervous. She’s very in tune to how he feels. It’s a bit annoying that he can’t hide how he feels around her most of the time. You did that too. You could see right through him.

Passing under the gate always made the world feel colder. Darker too. The perfectly lined up graves were always an unsavoury sight. Stopping in front of yours feels like standing on ice. Like this one little lot was under a spell to be a constant winter. It shouldn’t be bright. It shouldn’t be warm in such a desolate place. Jiraiya set Sayuri down on the ground before the grave. It’s in good shape. It’s the responsibility of the family of the deceased to take care of their gravestone. He’s got someone to thank... probably Minato. That boy has always been very thoughtful... He really liked you too. He was devastated when you died. He was there to support Jiraiya during the that horrible time. No one understood how he felt better than Minato, who was his shoulder to cry on and quiet listener to his agony.

“What do, dad?” Sayuri asked. She had her head raised straight up to look at him.

“Put the flowers in the vase right here.” Jiraiya instructs. He knelt down and pointed to the black vase that was beside the grave. Each one had one of these. It was staked deep into the ground to keep it from getting knocked over and set to the right side of the grave so the name isn’t obstructed.

“Okay!”

She put the flowers in one at a time. It was taking all her concentration. Jiraiya stares at the engraving of your name as she arranged the flowers. He longs to see your face again. He’d give his legs to just hold you one last time.

It really was cruel wasn’t it?

You would have made an amazing mother. It was something you always wanted. Even as kids playing house together, you and Jiraiya discussed having kids. It was decided that you and him were going to have four kids... Enough to make a three man team and a captain. But it just wasn’t meant to be. It was risky for you to even have one. You struggled for years with him with fertility issues. Then when you finally got pregnant, it was the happiest day of both his and your life. The struggle was finally over! At that time, Jiraiya was still scared to become a parent. He was no role model, nor was he sure if he had that parental instinct. You always assured him he would be a great father. You suffered a hard pregnancy with health issues so severe it was recommended at one point to abort for your safety. But you pressed on.

After that bad spell, you recovered and all seemed well again. Your third trimester was smooth sailing for the most part, every pregnancy has it’s ups and downs of course. You had your loving partner to support you through everything that was thrown at you. You and Jiraiya did everything baby related together. Got a nursery set up in the apartment you and him lived in. Baby clothes were bought in bundles. The ultrasound pictures were shown to everyone with pride. The countless nights staying up late to chat about baby names, or just chatting about all the cute things about babies. He got more excited the further along you got. He quickly came th accept the responsibility of fatherhood. It can’t be that bad or scary with you there!

Then... you didn’t stop bleeding.

After a long pregnancy that you powered through and got so absolutely excited about this new step in life with your husband, you struggled through a terrible labour. You wouldn’t stop hemorrhaging. Jiraiya was forced out of the room before the shock really set in. Your blood was quickly soaking the bed underneath you. He fought them. He didn’t want to leave you in such a state. You were scared. You were holding your daughter when suddenly all the strength you had left you. Your baby was taken away and your husband was hysterically calling for you. You called for him too. You didn’t want to be alone.

No one got to say a proper goodbye. It was all so sudden. The world suddenly didn’t have you in it.

No matter what the doctors did, they couldn’t stop the bleeding. They apologized and said they did all they could, but it felt like a lie. If they did all they could then you would be alive. Within the span of an hour, Jiraiya was suddenly widowed and the father of a brand new baby girl instead of happily celebrating with his new family of three. Why?... Just why him? Why you? His soulmate was taken from him. A part of him died that day.

A lot of details were blurry after that. He remembers staring at the floor while tears just streamed down his cheeks. The sounds of his baby crying was distant in his hearing. She was seeking his comfort... but he... he can’t. His wife is dead and he didn’t know what he should do. For a while... he considered just walking away. How could he bear looking at his daughter when you are gone? She’s you but little. How could he be a father without you here? He can’t. He couldn’t! He didn’t even see his new baby for hours out of fear and grief. His baby would be better off without him.

Who else to convince him otherwise than a father figure?

Hiruzen showed up to the hospital after hearing the news of your demise. You meant the world to Jiraiya and he knew the poorly his student would be handling it. He also knew what Jiraiya would be contemplating. He picked up Sayuri along the way and placed her in Jiraiya’s arms before an inhale of complaint could be uttered.

“She’s already lost one parent today. Does she need to lose two?”

That question stuck in Jiraiya’s mind. Especially with the follow up statement of the fact that he is a father whether he likes it or not. No matter what he does, he has a daughter and can he turn his back on that? No... he couldn’t. 

He later learned that Hiruzen was slightly scared when he next came around to see Jiraiya gone. He wouldn’t put it passed his student to leave before anyone could stop it. The fear was quickly settled at seeing Jiraiya having a much needed nap with his little baby on his chest in one of the unoccupied hospital beds. Neither of them had slept peacefully since your death. Sayuri stopped her consistent wailing the moment she was with her father. Same with Jiraiya. His crying quieted down to sniffles when he was napping her. It looks like they needed one another.

Hiruzen was right... of course he was. Jiraiya can’t imagine his life without his daughter in it. He loves her so much. If Sayuri wasn’t there, he would have spiralled further into a depression he probably wouldn’t recover from. All the demands of a baby distracted him in a good way. He could focus on the beautiful little thing you and him made together. He left as soon as he could to raise her away from the village. He didn’t like being around anymore. You’ve been with him since childhood and every place in the village reminded him of you. Just laying in the bed you once shared with him tore him up inside. The empty space next to him wasn’t warm anymore. He didn’t wake up to your face in front of his with your sleepy greeting being the first thing he heard. Instead it was a void that he hates staring at. Even now waking up sometimes felt too hard without you next to him. His hand still searches for you sometimes when he’s half awake, but it only grazes sheets.

It was easier to be away from the sympathetic looks and interactions too. Each one was a terrible reminder that you died. It became nauseating to always be around. He didn’t want to look at parenthood like that. He didn’t want to look at Sayuri and think of how you died. He’s a father raising his daughter that’s all. It’s better to think of it as she’s a gift, because that’s exactly what she is. The treasure of all treasures. She’s everything to him. He lives for her. They make each other stronger.

But was this life really giving Sayuri everything she needs? Jiraiya does his best with what he’s given. He skips his meals sometimes to make sure she eats. He’s gone for days now without much of anything because his paycheque got lost. He curls his body around her to keep her warm at night. He never shows his kid the negative sides of this. He denies her offering him food with a big smile and telling her that growing girls need their yummies. He can live off of chewing pine needles and eating clovers for a few days. He tucks the blanket back around her when she tries to cover him. He can handle a breezy summer night without a cover. So long as she’s healthy and happy, he’d suffer as much as necessary.

There’s also the problem of education. Jiraiya is a teacher, but he had very little idea how to teach school things. He knows how to teach chakra levels and activations, but teaching mathematics and language arts was completely different. Such basic things are actually quite hard to teach. Sayuri’s education is being mostly handled by those booklets meant for quick tutoring and introduction of the next school level. It’s hardly a full years worth of education from a qualified teacher. He has no clue how to handle her teachings when she gets older.

Sayuri is also incredibly shy. Her socializing is usually just limited to speaking to Jiraiya and some of the toads. She didn’t like people and he’s accidentally drilled stranger danger too hard into her skull to the point she didn’t even like kids her age. He really didn’t want her to grow up to be a hermit like he is. Or totally dependent on him.

Is raising her on the road selfish? It feels like he’s holding on too tightly. He panics when she’s not immediately in his eyesight. He wakes up sometimes in a startle and checks if she’s okay. He holds her hand firmly when they travel. He rarely lets her run free. His baby hates people and is going to grow up stupid because he can’t raise her right. He must be a terrible father for choosing this life.

Maybe accepting the offer wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Or just settling down in Konoha for her sake. What he wants doesn’t really matter anymore. Even if being in the village drives him crazy, he’ll stay so his kid will live a better life. A life with food and beds for them both. A life with qualified people to teach her and she can learn how to socialize with all the kids her age.

“You would know what to do.” Jiraiya mutters under his breath.

He can almost see you smiling and shaking your head at him.

“You worry too much. You’re doing great!” You would most likely say. You’d pat his head and give him a kiss on the cheek. “Our baby is growing up just fine. You know that, don’t you?”

“I’m not so sure...” He sighs.

He really has no clue what he’ll do. Accept the job or not... do something different for his kid, or keeping doing what he’s doing despite the downsides. Then again, both options have downsides. A life doing what he hates but it comes with stability or a life that’s tolerable by slumming it. Sigh... if only you were here. Then again, you’d probably tell him to do what makes him happy. Which isn’t much help. He wants Sayuri to be happy. If she’s happy, he’s happy. She’s too young to know what’s good for her. He has to make that decision.

“Daddy?”

Jiraiya casts his eyes down to Sayuri. She’s holding out a lily towards him. It’s white.

“This no fit!” She exclaims. Her brows are furrowed as she stared at the flower in offence that it wouldn’t listen to her.

He looks over to the vase to see that it is stuffed full. The stems of the flowers on the outside were squished at the lip of the vase from the force of the inner ones pushing on them, forcing them to bow. They were arranged lopsided as the outer ones were also not all the way pushed in. The bottom of the vase is narrower, so it must have ran out of room.

“That’s alright, kiddo.” Jiraiya assured her. He took the flower from her. “Mama won’t miss one flower. She knows it was meant for her.”

He pauses to look it over. It really is like you are here trying to tell him something. He still doesn’t know what.

“Sayuri? Do you like how we live?” He asks. “Do you like always walking around? Or do you want to stay here? You could have friends and a nice home.”

It feels a little foolish to ask a four year old. Sayuri barely knows how to write her own name let alone make a life altering decision. But Jiraiya does value her opinion. She’s all he’s got. If she wants a nice home and friends to talk to, he’ll make it happen. Hell, she could request him to do the impossible and he’d find a way to do it.

“I live wit you, daddy?” She asked, not really understanding what he means. “I like you, daddy!”

“I like you too, honey. But do you want to just like me? Do you want to like more people? Like little girls and boys like you?”

“Nah uh! Just daddy! I no like people!”

Well... the introverted apple doesn’t fall far from the antisocial tree. She’s more like him than he thought. Jiraiya smiles at Sayuri as she prattles on in her limited speech about all the things she remembers seeing. All the sights he’s showed her around the different lands. Something that’s not possible if he’s Hokage...

“Like the toadies and the big tall peakies and the snow and the big water! I like the big water!”

“Is that so? I guess I should take you back to see it then.”

“Yay!”

One of the best things was seeing Sayuri’s excitement at showing her all these grand sights. Her tiny mind was blown away each time. Whether it was giant toads, mountaintops, or oceans she loved each one. Still so... she’s young enough where the transition wouldn’t be so difficult. She’ll travel when she’s older. Jiraiya loves traveling with her and she loves it too, but he loves her and values her future more... What to do... Why is this so hard?

He snapped most of the length of the stem off, with a bit left over to help keep it in place. He tucked the flower behind Sayuri’s ear. He ran his fingers behind her ear, down her jaw, and to her chin. He raised her head ever so slightly with a gentle push to see her whole face. She stares at him with curious eyes. Just like you. She’s your little twin in looks. You would put flowers in her hair like you did with him. He’ll start doing it to keep the tradition.

“There. That’s a good place for it.” He said with a smile. “It’s a gift from mommy. To thank you for the flowers you got her.”

“Mommy really like them?”

“I know for a fact that she loves them.”

Sayuri ginned, but it quickly fell when she noticed something. If there’s one thing kids understand, it’s emotions. He may be smiling, but Sayuri knows her father is sad. His smile is quivering and his eyes are glassy. Talking about you always makes him do that. But he always says that you’re in a better place, so shouldn’t he be happy that you are somewhere so wonderful? She doesn’t understand but she wants him to feel better. So she does what he always does for her when she’s sad. She took the few little steps to close the distance and hugged him.

Jiraiya takes a shaky breath as he tries to get a grip. It’s hard to keep these emotions in check. He can’t help but laugh a little. He must be horrid at it if his four year old can see how distressed he is. He holds her tightly. He puts a kiss on the top of her head.

“Love you.” Sayuri whispers.

“I love you too, honey.” He returns. He gives her head another kiss. He smiles and means it. There’s something he forgot to say until now. “Happy birthday Sayuri.”

“Birtday?”

“Birthday.” Jiraiya both confirms and corrects. “You are one year older!”

He stands with her in his arms. He carries her with one arm under her butt and his hip helping support her weight. He questions her in the curious but positive tone he uses to test if she understands what is going on. With his other hand free, he uses it as a tool to visually aid her.

“Do you know how old you are now? If we put three together with one, what do we get?” He raised his fingers accordingly when he said the numbers.

Sayuri stares at his hand for a moment as she thought.

“Four.” She states.

“That’s right!”

Jiraiya congratulates her with a raspberry to the cheek, which never fails to make her laugh. She curled her cheek to her neck because she’s ticklish too and the vibrations tend to tickle her sensitive skin all the way down her neck. He chuckles at her reaction as it never fails to make him smile. She has the best giggle but she doesn’t do it much.

He hesitates to leave. He turns away from the grave but pauses. He looks back. You’ll always be here. He hates leaving you alone. He loves you so much. It’s still unfair that you are in the ground. He would’ve traded his life for yours if he was given the option. He always imagined that his marriage to you would end with him going first after seeing his children grown up and successful in whatever they did in life. Then being there to greet you in the after life years later.

You’ll be the one to greet Jiraiya. He’s accepted that. While it’s hard to live without you, he somewhat looks forward to the end of his journey. The day he dies, he plans on waking up in whatever the after life looks like and finding you. Where he’ll then hold you and kiss you. That’s how he always pictured it no matter who went first. Just being with you in a field with lush grass and clear blue skies. If only just to hug you and enjoy the blissful silence of being in your presence again. With his arms around you, body firm against yours, and face buried into the comfortable nook of your neck. Dreams like this that keep him going strong.

That’ll be many years to come. You’ve always been patient when it comes to him. Surely you understand that he’s got Sayuri to take care of. Once that’s over with, then he’ll come to you. In a way, he can’t wait for his time to come. Death is a fact of life that he’s always accepted, but only after living a good life with Sayuri. If he did anything to compromise that, you’d probably beat him in the after life before accepting him into your arms. You’d probably do that anyways. You hated it when he was sad. If you are watching him, you’d hate to see him so mournful. You want him happy... The only time he was happy is when he was with you. The pain is still there, but Sayuri numbs it.

“Daddy? What doing?” Sayuri asked. He’s been still for too long. He’s staring blankly again. He does that sometimes and she doesn’t know why.

“Thinking.” He replied. He took his eyes away from your headstone to smile at Sayuri. “Let’s go see Minato again. He got something good for us to eat.”

“Yum!” The mention of food perked her right up. She turned her head to look at your grave. She waves her little hand at you. “Bye mommy!”

The smile on Jiraiya’s face grows. Sayuri is bit young to fully grasp the idea of death, but it’s nice to see her interact with you. All she knows is that you’re here and that you loved her more than anything. These visits are good for her... More of them will be good for her too.

“Bye mommy...” He repeats quietly.

Sometimes he swears he can see you waving from your post in the cemetery. With the faint smell of your perfume in the breeze. Or your fingers dragging through his hair... He misses you. He always will no matter what.

Jiraiya walks away. It’s time to move on for now. You’ll always be here waiting for them. The choice he’s got to make is shoved to the back of his mind. He has to have an answer by tomorrow afternoon. Maybe after a drunken heart to heart with Minato he can make a confident decision. He needs another opinion from someone else who knows him.

For now he’s gotta cheer up. It’s his little girl’s birthday after all! What kind of dad would he be if he made her stay in the cemetery all day? He’ll stop at the corner store to spoil her dinner a little bit with a popsicle. She deserves it for being so good today. At the gate, Jiraiya can’t help but steal one last glance...

Until next time.


	42. Love Is Blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request from a lovely reader! ‘Tis one heck of an au my loves!   
> No matter how long time ticks on, the pain of loss never really leaves a person. For Jiraiya, it feels as if it’ll never leave and that he’ll always have someone to mourn. He can at least dwell on this pain as The Fifth Hokage, taking the position after the untimely death of his student. He feels as though he deserves doing a job he hates to make up for the loss.... but it’s not so bad. It becomes tolerable due to a certain someone he keeps encountering in the park near by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for the big sads sorta. Ya boy just real depressed in this one and it was like kinda fun to write because they sorta just gloss over it in the show.

Another day... another day just.... going on. Jiraiya leans on his elbow with his fist propping his head up. He stares blankly at the paper in front of him. The pen he’s holding has been hovering above the paper in the same place for like an hour now. All the words on it have blurred together. He sighs and drops the pen.

Jiraiya slumps in his chair. He’s not sure what he wants to do. Sleep? He hasn’t slept in like a week. Eat? He’s not all that hungry. Everything tastes like paper anyways. Go home? The elders will have a fit if he leaves early again. He swivels around in his chair to look out the window.

It is a nice day out. The sun is shining. The sky is clear. It’s gonna be a hot one. His eyes look up to the structure he now dreads. The Hokage Monument. The stone faces that he once looked up to he now despised it. Seeing his face carved up there was bad enough. Seeing it carved after his recently deceased student just tasted vile. His head began to hurt just looking at it. Like someone just popped a straw into his brain through the top of his head like a juice box. Maybe a walk will reset his head. Anything is less depressing than sitting around in the estate all day.

Jiraiya stood up slowly. Casting a glance to the side, he frowns. The coat hanger by the desk is holding his new robe, which he refuses to wear. Even seeing the words “The Fifth” makes him nauseous. Seeing it embroidered on a robe meant for him was worse. The council keeps insisting he wears it. He hasn’t even touched it since he started here. Nor does he wear the bright red and green haori hakama set he usually adorned. Black is for mourning... who knows if he’ll ever stop grieving. He can’t ever see himself smiling and meaning it ever again. It was hard enough to pretend to be okay already.

It felt disrespectful to Minato to wear anything resembling Konoha colours. It’s only been half a year since he’s died. Along with his wife too... Their baby is still in a secure location. Poor kid, it’s not his fault. Half the village is still actively hunting the baby down with the intent of murder. Jiraiya had to issue an order of arrest if anyone even mentioned Naruto with a bad word.

He still can’t even bear to look at Naruto. It’s too painful. How can he look that baby in the eyes and tell wee lad he’s the reason his parents are dead? Nor is Jiraiya in the emotional state to care for a child. It’s all his fault that baby is an orphan. Not only an orphan, but the new vessel to a demon. It wasn’t fair!

As Jiraiya sees it, if he took the position first, then it would have been him. He would have been home and he could have died in Minato’s place. He would have been in charge of dealing with the nine tailed fox. He could have dealt with it even if it killed him. What did he have to live for anyways? Minato had a family. The only family Jiraiya has doesn’t speak to him anymore or dead. He’s just.... alone.

Ghostly. That’s a good word for it.

Just drifting along from one day to the next. Feeling nothing. Nothing made him happy anymore. Everything was a chore. Writing felt like a waste of time. Just existing sometimes was too hard. He can’t even say that getting out of bed is difficult, because he hasn’t slept. He lays awake at night with his thoughts consuming him. The only reason Jiraiya is in his position is because he feels like he must make up for his mistakes. It was an alternative to spiralling further into doing something harmful to himself. At least he’s doing something useful with his time for once. He’s wasted his life. This feels like a just sentencing to atone for his life of wrong choices. He hates this job. He hates his life. He deserves no less than to rot away at this desk alone. Then when he dies after living an ironically long life, everyone who knew him will be glad he’s dead.

After a sigh, Jiraiya leaves the estate to get some good old fashioned vitamin D. There’s a park not so far away from the office he finds himself frequenting. It’s close and it’s fairly quiet. There’s a bench away from most of the activity. It’s near an old beautiful oak tree and it’s perfectly shaded. He likes to sit in it when he actually has the energy to walk here and then back to the office. It’s away from the playground and dirt walking path, so not a lot of people have the motivation to venture to it. He pauses in front of it. There’s someone in his bench.

A woman. A young woman. Probably close to Minato’s age if he had to guess. Her eyes are shut and she’s still. She looks to be sleeping or deep in thought. Or basking in the nice warm sun. There’s not a cloud in the sky. She looks content. Her soft smile is pretty. Hm... it’s been a while since he found someone pretty. He turns to move on. He doesn’t feel like arguing to get a seat, or sit with someone without asking. He doesn’t feel like asking either.

“You can sit with me if you like.”

Jiraiya paused and turned back around. She’s not looking at him and her tone was slightly questioning, like she wasn’t completely sure if someone was there. Oh... he just noticed her cane. She’s blind. Her eyes open to reveal grey pale eyes. Even the pupils are grey. They don’t dilate or move when they hit the sun. They aren’t ugly or anything. Just different. Different than he thought they would be. They are still bright with life despite not being able to see anything.

“Come on. I don’t bite!” You pat the empty spot next to you.

After a moment, the wood creaks with added weight. You introduce yourself to the stranger. Even if you lack sight, you can tell this person is stressed. They got an air about them that just screamed distress. Maybe a talk with a stranger will put them at ease about their worries. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve had an interesting talk with an interesting stranger. It’s one of life’s many perks.

“Jiraiya.” He introduced himself.

“Ah... that’s different.”

“I didn’t choose it.”

“I mean that in a good way! I like your name. It’s a bit familiar.” You hum as you tap your chin. “But I can’t remember where I heard it from.”

Jiraiya opened his mouth to inform you. But hold on one second here... you don’t know him? Is there one person in Konoha he can talk to like he’s normal? An equal and not as a leader? Someone who is willing to get close to him...

“Do you know who the current Hokage is?” He asked.

“No? Why? Do you work for him?”

He smiles.

“Yeah. You could say that.” Jiraiya answered you.

This fact put him at ease. A person he can talk to. Someone who will treat him normally. He hasn’t have a friend to talk to. All of his left one way or another. Even Hiruzen will barely look at him, and the old man has a family to rely on during these hard times. Jiraiya relaxes into the now very comfortable bench and began to hold a conversation with you. It’s been so long since someone was willing to just talk to. After hours of conversation, it eventually had to come to a close. You had to leave and Jiraiya went back to the office. Some of the people who worked there asked him where the hell he was all day, but he didn’t really answer them. He said he lost track of time on his lunch break.

The day after he met you, Jiraiya left the office to go to the park. His heart rate picked up when he saw you. It was just weird, because he hasn’t been excited in a long time. Maybe he’s just that starved for interaction. He’s hasn’t liked talking since the death of his friends. It’s the most his voice has been used since he’s seen their caskets lowered into the ground. Talking to you made the task feel easy again. He didn’t have to think about what to say, it all sorta just came out with the natural flow of the conversation.

“Can I sit here?” He asks.

“Jiraiya? Of course!” You beam and scoot to the edge to give him room.

The wood creaked with his weight again. The conversation picked up exactly where it left off. Before he knew it, hours had passed. He had to leave suddenly with a promise from you that the conversation will continue tomorrow. He kept coming back. The conversation always continued! It never ended and he loved it.

Every day Jiraiya took his break at the same time. He went to the park and talked to you. A friend. You’re his friend and he is indulging in the fact that you don’t know who he is. He told you that he’s just a shinobi. Yeah... if only he were that. A certain part of him feels bad for lying, but it’s too late now. He’s a month deep into this relationship built on a lie. It’s been so long since he’s just been Jiraiya. He’s not “My Lord” or “Lord Fifth” when he’s with you. He doesn’t feel that urge to jam a pen in his eye when he’s with you. Because he’s not the leader of his village when he’s with you. Just some regular man hanging out with his friend. His only friend. Someone cares about him and not what he is.

You like him. This man you befriended. Jiraiya... He’s nice. Sad and lonely, but nice. He’s rather easy to talk to. His voice is nice to listen to. It’s deep and always calm. He doesn’t treat you differently. Everyone you usually talk to is hesitant because you’re blind. As if a small disability also makes you stupid and difficult to talk to. But he doesn’t. Jiraiya speaks to you without a care in the world if you’re blind or not. He doesn’t take pity on you for lacking a basic sense. He did ask about it once he got to know you.

“Just born with it.” You answered with a shrug. Everyone asks about it, so you are quite used to the question. “This is my normal.”

“Does it bother you?”

“No. Because I don’t know anything else.”

“Would you ever want it fixed? I know someone in the medical field who could probably help you.”

You shrug. “I don’t know... probably not. I like how I am.”

It was quiet for a moment. Your friend eventually let out a bemused exhale through his nose.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re beautiful?” Jiraiya asked you.

You dip your head. You can feel your cheeks getting hot. Why did it mean so much when he said it? It’s not like he’s the first person to. You haven’t really dated anyone before and most people who do say it are being holier than thou. Because complimenting a disabled woman will clearly make one a bigger person. But he really means it, doesn’t he? He likes spending time with you. You like spending time with him. He’s your only real friend.

What does he look like? Your companion was very much a shapeless blob to you. All you can tell is that he’s got a big arm. Jiraiya suggested walking around the park for a while while talking and you are letting him guide you by holding his bicep. Curiosity is getting the better of you.

“Can I... touch you?” You ask.

“Oh?” He leans down closer to you and chuckles. “That’s usually a third date kind of thing, but I guess we can do that!”

“No!” You squeak. “I-I meant your face! I wanna know what you look like!”

For the first time in a long time, Jiraiya laughs. It felt a little foreign to laugh again, but good. You can get so flushed. He hasn’t dipped into that part of his sense of humour in a long time, but when he did you become a lovely shade of red. He likes seeing you blush at his words. The expression of embarrassment you display is rather adorable in his opinion. He stands still in front of you. He grabs both your hands and guides them up to his face.

Oh? Oh! Oh he’s tall! You are lifting yourself up on your toes to reach his face. Your fingers meet soft skin. The bit of air hitting your palms in consistent puffs tells you it’s really his face. A few things surprise you. Like crows feet and smile lines of an older face. He doesn’t behave like he’s older. He maybe sad, but he still has a young at heart feel to him when he speaks. Just the other day he went on an aimless spiel about how much fun climbing trees are, or used to be and how much he missed doing it. It certainly didn’t have the feel of an older man. And don’t all adults miss doing kid stuff like that?

Maybe not you, since the closest you’ve been to climbing a tree has been accidentally running into one as a kid. You told him to why not have a go at it. The old oak above the bench can hold his weight. He did do it, but only if you went with him. It was a little scary to not have the ground underneath your feet. But Jiraiya didn’t let you fall to the ground. You clung onto his back so tightly you must have reshaped his spine. Not that he complained or anything, he found it amusing. For the first time ever you sat on a tree branch and felt the different colder air of a higher level. As well as how different the voices of the people below you carried.

You smile at the memory. Jiraiya is going to have to carry you up a tree again soon. It was fun to be like all the other kids in Konoha who’ve been climbing trees since infancy. It was also fun to be alone with him like that. Just away from things with the freedom of the open air all around you with only him to talk to. You told him you clung to him because you were scared of falling, but well... it was nice to just hug him. He’s warm and smells nice, which was kinda like the trees themselves. Earthy and woody with a hint of something smoky. His heartbeat sped up when you had your arms around him and your face pressed against his chest. Even more so when his arm was securely around your back and the bottom half of his face was pressed into your hair. There was a weird moment when up there too. You raised your head so he could hear you better. He angled his head down to listen. Your face was an inch away from his. His fingers brushed by your cheek and ghosted there for a moment. You could tell he was staring at you. His thumb ran down your lips and gently pulled the bottom one to part them. He retracted a second after that... but you wish he didn’t.

You focus back on getting a feel for how this man looks. He has no scars on his face with a consistent smooth texture to his whole face. His eyelashes are longer. His eyes are deeper set and have an almond shape to them. His nose is straight with a triangle shape to it. There’s some kind of bump to the left side to it. You drag a finger down from the tip of his nose to his Cupid’s bow. You trace the shape of his lips. His bottom lip is slightly bigger than his top. They’re wider in shape. They’d feel nice against yours.

Jiraiya is being very quiet. Your concentration is interesting to watch. Your lips are slightly parted. Your brows are raised as you seemed surprised at how he looks. Your sightless eyes are widened. Hopefully it’s a good surprise. By the blush of your cheeks, it looks to be so. You stay still as he moves his hands down. They run down your arms. He touches your cheek. You pull as he leans back down. His lips press against yours. It’s soft. It’s warm. You move your hands back to meet hair. It’s thick and wiry, but soft enough to handle.

It breaks after several moments. Jiraiya pulls back first. He looks you over as you are panting and biting your bottom lip. It was nice. A good first kiss. It wasn’t too much nor was it lacking. It leaves both you and him satisfied but wanting more. You smile after a moment. A smile grows on his lips too.

“Now that we got that out of the way,” he said with a chortle, “how about I take you out for dinner sometime?”

“I’d like that.”

“Tonight?”

“I have work tonight.” For once you are disappointed to be working. “But I’m off tomorrow!”

“Okay.”

He doesn’t move. You are still attached to him. It’s clear he doesn’t want to let you go.

“I have to go now. It’s about four isn’t it?” You tilt your head towards the sky. You can usually guess by where the sun is hitting you.

“Yeah... You’re sure you can’t stay for a little while?” Jiraiya asks. He moves back in for another kiss.

“Hm... I’m sorry. I have to go.” You sigh after the kiss breaks. It’s nice kissing him. It’d be nice to do it all night long.

You don’t want to leave, but duty calls. It’s a little cliché, but you are a pianist. Your parents decided to sign you up for lessons as a child to occupy your time and you grew to love it. You are quite good at it. You do night lessons for adults and older children to make an income in between jobs. Everyone is busy during the day, so it made sense to stick with five pm to eleven pm lessons. It kept your days free to do as you wished, which was mostly practicing new pieces and taking walks in the park to give yourself a break. Of course it now involved spending time with Jiraiya.

You play mostly by hire for private fancy dinner parties and weddings when you aren’t an instructor. You play for the community band here in the village as well, which is made up of volunteers who love music as much as you do. You attend when you can of course, recently you’ve been sending some of your students who are interested in stuff like that to give them some experience playing before a crowd. It was more fun to be with Jiraiya than play for the community... not that you’d ever tell them that. But now that you have someone to be with, you don’t want to be away from them.

“You’ll have to show me your house sometime. I still haven’t heard you play.” Jiraiya insisted before letting you go.

“I’m sure you have heard me play, you just didn’t know me.”

“Heh, probably not. This is the most I’ve ever been home in years. I’m not exactly a community involvement kind of man,” Jiraiya jokes. It’s true. He’s never even made it to one of the festivals that happen here. Nor the fundraisers or farmer’s markets. Funerals is what he seems to attend to most. And those don’t exactly come with fanfare and jazz solos. “I should start since I’m....”

“Since you’re what?” You ask him to continue.

“Nothing.” He can’t exactly reveal who he is now. “I’m just trying to get more involved with the community.”

Hokages who don’t involve themselves with the people they rule aren’t very popular. The council has bugged him a few times to start going to events in his proper attire to show people he’s interested in their lives. He really isn’t all that interested... but it’s for the sake of his image. Which is something he doesn’t care about, but the council does.

“But don’t you go out a lot for missions?”

“I recently got a permit position here, I no longer go on missions that take me away from home.”

It’s not technically a lie, just a stretch of the truth. Kages don’t leave their village unless it’s to meet at the summit, visit another village for exams, or a severe threat that requires the call of such a powerful shinobi. All of which are rare occasions.

“That’s good.” You say. You smile at him. “That means you’ll have to see me all the time, right?”

“Yeah, I guess it does.”

One more kiss and you pull away. You search around for your cane. You know he has it. He’s keeping it from you so you can’t go.

“Jiraiya.” You say with bemusement.

“... Yes?” He responds sheepishly. He just didn’t want to leave.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay okay.” Jiraiya resigns with a sigh.

He slowly handed you back your cane. You thank him with a kiss before turning around and leaving. You can tell that Jiraiya is watching you go. He tends to stare when you leave. After a moment, he sighs again. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he’ll see you. He turns and leaves as well. As he wanders to the office, he thinks on where to take you. Somewhere quiet. Somewhere peaceful and lovely where he can tell you the truth. Maybe up in the oak tree?

That sounds good! A romantic dinner up in the trees. Where Jiraiya can hold you close and kiss you. Get you a little tipsy on champagne and admit he’s more than he said he was in a place where you can’t run away and no one can interfere. He has no clue how you’ll take it. If you feel about him like how he feels about you, then he hopes you’ll be understanding.

Jiraiya hardly focuses on his work. He’s so excited about tomorrow. So excited that he stops working on his piling paperwork make a list of things he should buy to make a wonderful picnic in the park. He goes home a few hours later with his growing list. He spends the night wondering. For once his sleepless night wasn’t consumed by despair and grief. It’s been so long since he’s been on a date! It’s been even longer since he’s felt this alive.

The next day, Jiraiya makes sure he looks nice. It may not matter to you, since you have no eye sight, but he wants to. It doesn’t matter if you’re blind or not, you deserve to have effort put in from your date. He showers and brushes his hair. He styles it for the first time in a long time. Nothing too crazy, he defines his bangs from his hair rather than having it all fall naturally and without care around his face. For the first time in months he grabs something other than black to wear. He feels more like himself. The basket he put together is at his feet and it’s ready to whoo you with his thoughtfully prepared meal for you. The day goes by so slowly! All he wants to do is see you! His cheeks hurt from smiling.

The hour finally comes around. The moment it does, Jiraiya bolts out of the estate to the park. His heart his pounding fast with excitement. It felt good to run again. He actually had the energy to do it. He slowly transitions from a run to a jog as he gets closer to the bench. The smile on his face dropped. He stopped in front of the bench under the oak tree. Where his close friend maybe girlfriend should be waiting for him...

But you aren’t here. A sinking feeling hit Jiraiya right in the gut. Like his heart fell from his chest and sunk all the way down into his stomach. Disappointment is something he ought to be used to by now. His whole life is just that feeling of sinking down. How he hasn’t popped out of the other side of the world yet is a mystery.

On one hand, he can’t believe you actually stood him up. On the other, it feels like something is pointing at him and laughing at him for believing someone actually liked him. The neutral line over his lips returned to his face as his eyes drooped into being less alert. He turns and plunks down on the bench. He glances at the basket he prepared with a growing destain. He stares at the ground for a while as he figures out what the fuck to do.

Maybe just wait for an hour or so? You could be late and he’s assuming the worst for no reason. Jiraiya sits back and turns his head towards the direction you always walk down the path to meet him. You had to be late. You kissed him. You meant your words yesterday. You feel something for him. There has to be a reasonable explanation and he’s just spiralling to a ridiculous conclusion due to his state of mind.

Jiraiya waited for hours. Eventually... he gave up for the night. He dragged himself back to his dingy little apartment he hasn’t bothered to clean in months. He stayed awake staring at the picnic basket wondering what happened. He was torn between two ideas. You skipped out because you didn’t like him, or something happened to you. The more sleep deprived he got, the less sense everything became.

In the morning, Jiraiya didn’t even go to work. He mindlessly wondered to the bench. He sat down at it with a space for you to join him. He just... wanted you. He missed you. It was the same horrible sensation of being cut open from navel to neck when missing someone so much. As if all his guts were spilt out and everyone was walking all over them without noticing the pain he’s in. He felt it when his team left. He felt it when his students died. He feels it now without you here. He’s mourning again. He can’t put together why you aren’t here with him. It’s like you’re right out of reach no matter how hard he stretches his arm out to grab you, his fingers just don’t quite reach. Everything was going just fine! Wasn’t it? He likes you. You like him. There’s an attraction and connection you have with him. How can you just disappear? Unless you’re one hell of a liar, he can’t understand or accept that you aren’t here with him.

“Lord Hokage!” A cheery female voice called him.

To cringe was natural. Jiraiya still hates being called that. He crinkles his nose and turns to see who interrupted his descent into thinking the situation to death. It’s a young woman. One of the many. It’s pretty obvious and Jiraiya isn’t a fool. The only reason he’s super popular with the ladies now is due to his status. There’s a small horde of them he has to deal with now. They follow him around sometimes. They giggle and whisper to one another when he looks at them. It’s a broad mix of them too. With different strategies on courting him.

The main clans are rather formal. The Yamanaka gals gave him iris flowers and carnations. Both are flowers of love and desire. Nara girls did the same but with flowers that have medical properties, as if to one up their kith clan with a not so subtle reminder that they provide medicine to Konoha. Whether or not it’s a threat, he’s not sure. Akimichi chicks offer to share their snacks with him, which is like the highest honour among them aside from being invited to dinner. The Aburame women, who are always rather quiet and serious, approached him and offered to show him around the beetle breeding nest.... Which is romantic? To them it must be. The Inuzuka head herself asked if he liked dogs and offered to let him hang out with the puppies for some needed puppy therapy.... he may have taken her up on it. It went good at first until the eligible women of the clan began to hang around the kennel and being more confident in personality, they simply began to ask who he wanted to take out on a date. Even the Kohaku clan threw their hat in the ring by sending over one of their prettiest and strongest girls to be a permanent resident of Konoha rather than in their border village to offer her services. She didn’t specifically say what kind of services but she winked at him with the implications that she’d make a good fuck buddy if he ever wanted.

To no one’s surprise, it was the Hyūga and Uchiha who were the most insistent. The Hyūga approached Jiraiya with an alphabetical list of eligible women he can pick from their clan that would make a suitable wife for him. They insisted that he speaks to each one of them before completely rejecting them all. They must really want a better leg up in the village as most of them were from the main branch. They were all very nice, just not intimate or genuine in their interest in him. The Uchiha were a bit more subtle. Weasel, a black ops who is a mole in the clan and a clan member themselves, warned Jiraiya that the clan assigned a woman to slowly crawl her way into his life. It was going to be a slow burn plan where the clan woman would always be there until he noticed her enough to make it seem like a completely natural relationship. He’s aware that they are planning something and having him marry one of their members will ensure they can control him through her. Yeah... he’s not as shallow or dumb as they think he is. All of them have talked down to him like he’s inept at his job. It’s clear that they want a say in how the village is run. Being a spouse to Lord Hokage means the whole clan has a higher level of status and control. Something they desire greatly.

It’s not all clan women either. Shinobi from civilian families were shooting their shot too. They were vicious in comparison to the more traditional and proper approaches of the main clans. They were the ones that congregated in groups to ask his attention and he’s seen them turn on one another. It does make sense. Marrying the Hokage is quickest way to social climb. It means status, money, and power. Probably an early retirement too. Plenty of spouses to higher ranked ninja are mostly homemakers even if they do got the skills to protect their village. If that’s what makes them happy... he’s got no issue with it.

This is why Jiraiya likes you so much. There’s someone out there that wants to date him for him. You don’t want ‘Lord Hokage’ to court you. You want plain old Jiraiya to be your boyfriend. Maybe more than that. He could get along with you for his whole damn life. Everyday was so much more livable with you by his side. You treat him like an equal and he missed that so much that he lied his ass off so you’d stick around. 

“My lord, you shouldn’t be out alone like this!” One of the women broke off from the group and took her shot. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and cooed at him in a sweet tone of voice. “Couldn’t you use the company of a pretty lady?”

“Or two?” Another skidded to a halt beside him and knelt down with her arms folded on top of the arm rest of the bench.

“What about three?” A different woman sat down in your spot.

To that Jiraiya’s mouth twitched to a frown at someone else sitting beside him. Maybe in a different world he would have loved all of this attention. But he really doesn’t. It’s only because he’s a man of standing now do women want him. No one likes him for him anymore. But you do. They aren’t you. He only wants your attention. He wants to hold you and talk to you. He’d rather be alone than have all these girls around. It feel wrong to have someone else hug him and coo at him flirtatiously.

“Have you ladies seen my friend?” Jiraiya ignores their flirty approaches and asks a very simple question. “She’s a young woman with a cane who walks around the park here everyday.”

“Oh you don’t have to pretend around us, Lord Hokage.” The third said with a grin. She looked to be mighty proud of herself about something.

“Yeah!” The first agreed. She squeezed him tighter in her hug. “We know what a nuisance it must be to have to be nice to every citizen you come across.”

“What do you mean?” Jiraiya spoke slowly. Suspicious, these women are.

“We saw how annoying that blind girl is! All she did was talk and talk!”

He frowned with his brows furrowed. He stares at the woman sitting in your seat with a feeling in his gut. Something really ain’t right here.

“And you three didn’t like that?” He ventured a guess.

“Well yeah! Why does she get to talk to you?” The second one stood up and scoffed. “Honestly, you should be thankful that we got rid of that cripple!”

It got very quiet. The other girls are glaring at the second with fire. Jiraiya scoffs and stands. It’s amazing what jealousy will do to a person. How long until these three turn on one another in an attempt to win his favour?

“It would be in your best interest for your careers to not speak to me.” Jiraiya finally spoke after several moments of tense silence. “And never touch the people I speak to ever again.”

He stormed off without glancing back to the stunned trio. Once he was almost out of the park, the other two turned on the girl who spilled the beans. He heard shrieking about how she ruined their chances... like they ever had one to begin with. Once he reached his office, Jiraiya broke one of the many codes a Kage must follow. He used the ANBU for a personal problem. To find you. For those women’s sake... you better be alive.

...

You sit at your piano. For the first time in almost three days, you began to play. Unfortunately you are down to one hand as the other is lightly sprained. It’s hard to spread your fingers out to play anymore than two keys at a time. There are plenty of simple songs to play with one hand anyways. Not that you’ve had much motivation to play. This is the first time you ventured out of bed during these horrible days.

How did it get sprained? And why are you quite sad? Well sheesh... even now it’s humiliating. A pack of girls attacked you. You were suddenly surrounded after you said goodbye to Jiraiya. They ripped your cane from you and threw it away. They yelled at you for several things. It didn’t make much sense at first.

You didn’t know any Hokage. Or at least you thought you didn’t know any. It wasn’t until one of them actually said Lord Jiraiya did you clue in. The man you’ve developed feelings for was lying to you. If he was willing to lie about who he is, what else did he lie about? Does he do the things he says he does? Or like the things he likes? Did he lie about everything? Was he just screwing with you? Maybe this whole time he was mocking the naive blind girl and formed himself into a completely different person.

Did he send those girls after you? Was he finally sick of playing his little mind game and decided to sick his pack on you? Why not? He must be lying about everything.

Did Jiraiya even like you?

Probably not... What could the leader of the village want with a blind woman? He’s objectively the most powerful person in Konoha. And you... probably the weakest. You can barely fight off a child. The girls who attacked you were gracefully dodging all your wild flailing. You were left in the street scraped up and confused. A much nicer ninja found you feeling around on your hands and knees looking for your cane. They helped you up, found your cane, and took you to the hospital despite your insistence that you were fine. You were too shaken and ashamed to tell them the truth. Who would believe that you were jumped anyways? And that it was for such a strange reason. It’s not like you can tell the police what your attackers look like. No one will take you seriously. It looks as if your only friend didn’t even take you seriously.

Loud knocking on your door interrupted your depressing thoughts. You don’t move. You don’t want to. You don’t want to talk to anyone. Your students will have to deal with a few more days without their lessons. You won’t charge them for the lessons they missed since it’s your fault. You can’t exactly teach with a sprained hand anyways.

The knocking got louder and more insistent. You sigh and stand. So you’ll have to tell them yourself. Some of your students are very insistent. It came off a little entitled, but once they see the brace on your hand then maybe they’ll leave. You place your hands on the door and speak softly.

“Who is it?” You ask.

“It’s me!” You recognize Jiraiya’s voice. “Please let me in!”

Pangs of emotions run through you. Sadness, anger, betrayal. You don’t know what you feel for him anymore. You aren’t even sure if you really know him.

“Go away, Jiraiya. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Come on! Give me a chance to explain!”

“No. Just leave me alone.”

Jiraiya exasperates a loud frustrated yell. These last few days have been hell. His emotions were haywire. They’ve been wrung through like a dirty rag squeezed of every drop of water. He likes you so much and you not being there felt like being punched through his gut.

He did what he could. He suspended and charged those girls for attacking a harmless citizen. If possible, Jiraiya would have done so much worse. But for some reason it’s a rather light charge for shinobi even though it’s an abuse of power. That’s a law he’s going to have to change. Maybe it’ll actually keep crazy people from attacking citizens if the charge actually held some hit to it. He asked Dog, the only black ops he actually liked, to find where you went. The young elite was true to his alias. No questions asked just did it.

“Please!..” He begged you through the door. His forehead clunks against the wood and he groans. “Just let me explain...”

It was quiet. Jiraiya must have lost you. You must hate him. Not that he blames you. He hates himself for ruining the one good thing in his life. The world wasn’t so grey with you around. Your smile was so pretty. Your voice was calming. Your view on life was just... beautiful. It’s like being around you drove away the clouds that darkens his life. You are the bright day to him. He doesn’t want to lose another person because of his actions! He’s prepared to do anything to get you back.

“Why did you lie to me?” Your voice was quiet and sad. “... Don’t you trust me?”

“I do! I’m sorry! I just...” He paused and sighed. He casted his eyes down shamefully. “You made me feel normal again. I haven’t felt this alive since I became Hokage!”

There’s a soft click. The door opens. Jiraiya stands up properly so he doesn’t fall into your house. You look awful. Tired and messy. Hair unkempt and clothing wrinkled from being slept in. His heart breaks to see you hurt. Bruises and scrapes on your arms and face. You have a brace on. Those insane women really did some damage. He reached out and touched the brace on your arm. But you moved it away.

“Keep talking.” You tell him. You are willing to listen. You feel something for him, but it’s hard to place what. You want to hear him out even if you are mad at him. If the reason is good enough, you could forgive him.

“I should have told you the truth earlier,” Jiraiya continues his apology. He chances reaching out to touch you. You don’t shy away when his fingers touched your cheek. You lean into it which gave him a sense of ease. “I haven’t had anyone to talk to since I... lost some friends. No one treats me like I’m a person anymore. I hate being a leader and being talked to like one. With you I just...” He sighs. This was hard and honestly... foolish. He feels like an absolute idiot. He leans down to your level to press his forehead against yours. “With you I’m just Jiraiya and that’s all I want to be.”

Jiraiya’s tone was laced with badly hidden pain. The bits and pieces he talked about his past made sense now. He told you his friends died recently and how he talked about it revealed that he blamed himself. That sense of responsibility somehow lead him to be the fifth leader of Konoha. He wants to do this job even if it tears him apart inside. His sense of duty and responsibility to honour his friends is admirable. He’s a sweet man. A sad, lonely, misguided sweetie whose heart has been broken from repeated loss of love. He needs help but didn’t know how to ask. So he lied out of fear of being alone. He just needed someone to talk to.

You became the answer he was looking for. He didn’t know how to feel better until you were there to talk to. You picked up the pieces of him. You helped without realizing how much it meant. Life wasn’t so slow and agonizing to live with you to talk to. Maybe more than just talk to. Being with you heals the pain. The void was all consuming again when you were gone for those days. While Jiraiya was aware being with you made the pain go away, he didn’t think he could fall in love so fast. Nor did he have any idea he would fall in love with someone like you.

You are lonely too. You’ve always been surrounded by people who didn’t understand you. There was always that line between you and ‘normal’ people. It’s like you are too much of a chore for anyone to stick around longer than a lesson or a gig. No one wants to take care of the blind girl. Not that you needed to be taken care of, but having someone stay and love you for you was something you’ve always wanted. Jiraiya certainly crossed that line. There was a connection there. He knew what it was like to be alone. Neither you or him directly spoke about it, but it was simply understood. Two lonely people kinda just found each other.

Even if he’s an idiot... you do love him.

“You’ll always be just Jiraiya to me.” You finally speak after several moments of silence. You put your arms around him in a hug.

Jiraiya sighs. The relief of you accepting what he’s done felt like a building being lifted from his shoulders. He tilts his head slightly before going in. Kissing you the first time ended too quickly. It feels too good to quit. You can feel everything. His eyelashes tickling your skin. The tips of his bangs touch your face. The tip of his nose pressing against your cheek. His lips are a little dry, but not unpleasant. His hands move down to settle on your hips.

You feel his tongue poke through your lips and run across your teeth. You open your mouth to grant him entry. You poke your tongue out to meet his part way. It was rather gentle. Exploring and curious. His tongue ran along the inside of yours without being too invasive. It didn’t dive too deep or demand to be dominant over you. It settled for playing and running along your tongue.

Just like the tongue, Jiraiya’s hands got comfortable with exploring your body. From your hips to a slow stroke over your ass. He even did a few light squeezes. They rounded to the front of your waist before slowly making their way up your torso. His fingers only grazed your boobs, pausing for a moment to feel the shape of them. Then they move on to caress your face again. The kiss breaks for a moment just to take in air and for his lips to flash into a smile. In a way it’s a shame you can’t see yourself, because you are very pretty. But you also have that viewpoint where you don’t really care, because you’ve never seen yourself or anybody else. Which he likes. He’s got an good shot at being with you since you can’t see what he looks like! He’s no spring chicken anymore nor does he think he’s worthy of a runway. Unlike you, who are these things.

You’ve never touched Jiraiya beyond his arms and face. You know what he looks like... sorta. He’s tall. His face is wider in shape with handsome features. Well they at least feel handsome to you. He scoffs with doubt when you compliment him in anyway. His hair is long, but you don’t know how long. He’s strong. His arms are firm with muscle. The rest of him must be like that too. You explore to confirm. His chest is wide and his torso is more of a square shape. His clothing is loose enough where you can sneak your hands underneath them to feel his bare skin. It’s smooth and warm. There’s the occasional rough scar tissue that broke up the smooth canvas of his body. He’s got nice well toned muscles, but from how bumpy his sides are it’s easy to put together that he’s under weight. Especially as the space between his ribs and hips curves in rather than being straight. Even if he’s a little under his normal and healthy weight, he has an intimidating strong figure. One that will certainly feel nice against yours.

“Can I come in?” Jiraiya asks.

“What do you plan to do if I let you in?” You asked in response.

“Hopefully,” he pauses and pulls you against his body, “I could show you how terribly sorry I really am!”

“That may take you all night!”

He chuckles at your reply. You hold his hands as you lead him in. He does doddle a little, slowing down to look over your home. The grand piano against the far wall beside this giant window along the next wall was rather picturesque. Seeing you sitting in front of the instrument with the light coming in from the side has to be a pretty sight. Especially if you are wearing nothing.... and sitting on him. Hm... how good can you play his fingers playing with you and lips by your ear breathing hot heavy words about what he wants to do with you? Something that’ll have to be explored later! For now, every thoughtful first time should be in a bed. The more kinkier stuff can happen once he gets to know your body.

Your shins hit the edge of your bed. You turn around. Just as you grab the edge of Jiraiya’s shirt, his lips are back on yours. His fingers grip the hem of your shirt. It’s over your head and tossed away a second later. You return the favour and pull off his shirt. The moment he’s free of it, his hands run over to the clasp of your bra and he pulls it off. He goes back in the moment it’s off to cup and massage them. You run your hands down his chest and abdomen. The rises and dips of it are lovely to feel. Your fingers graze his pants. The curiosity is too much to contain and you touch the bump in his pants.

He moans into your mouth. He’s hard in your hand. You grip and rub to get a feel for what’s in store for you. You slide under the fabric to touch his bare skin. His cock is throbbing with a need in your hand. He feels big. You stroke the full length of it to get a better idea of exactly how big. Eight, maybe nine inches and thick enough to satisfy anyone. Not wanting to you to be left out, Jiraiya fondled you too. The kiss broke for but a moment to gasp in a breath. His fingers press and rub to feel what you got. Already he can feel some wetness meeting his fingers through your pants. He can push in a little with the small amount of give your pants has, but it’s hardly a good preview of what he has to look forward to. Knowing you’re so excited for this only urged him to move on to the best part. He can only withstand the gentle strokes of your hand for so long. He’s eager to make some sweet love.

You whine quietly when his fingers retracted. That felt really good. It wasn’t too hard or fast. The pads of his fingers felt good against you. Instead he grabs your waist and lifts you onto your bed. He pushed you onto your back, forcing you to stop touching him. His fingers hook around the band of your pants and underwear. He pulls them off slowly, inhaling sharply the moment he saw all of you.

“Is something wrong?” You ask.

“No.” Jiraiya replied. His hand dragged along the back of your thigh. Once he met your knee, he gently guided your leg to spread. “You’re nice to look at, that’s all.”

“You are too... even if I can’t see you, you’re beautiful to me.”

A soft laugh was the response you got. Light kisses are placed on the sides of your knees, his lips purposely avoiding the bruises. His hand left. The quiet rustling of clothing sounds a moment later. He’s taking off the rest of his clothing. Goosebumps prickle all over your skin without Jiraiya’s body next to yours. He gives off lots of heat. Your hand begins to wander as you miss and crave for him to touch you again. You suck in a breath when you brush your finger along your clit. It’s stiff and sensitive with a want to be touched. The smallest bit of pressure sends tingles up your spine to accompany the pleasure.

The bed dips by your feet with added weight. Jiraiya’s limbs graze yours as he crawls up to be level with your face. His hands rest above your shoulders. His knees are flush against your ass. Something soft and light is tickling your body at different places. Your collarbone, breasts, hips. You stop touching yourself to touch him instead. The better part of this activity is going to happen in a few moments anyways. Your sprained hand throbs at being strained, but you don’t care. When you reach out, your fingers brush by locks of hair. Jiraiya must have hair to his ass! It suits him. It’s unconventional and wild like he is. You find his arms and use them to guide your way up to his face.

Jiraiya doesn’t say anything. He watches you. Your sightless eyes are half closed and your cheeks are flushed. You’re breathing through parted lips that are pink and plump from kissing him. The tips of your thumbs brush by the corners of his sight as you caress his face. You smile when he smiles, meaning you can feel every twitch of his face. You look beautiful like this.

He leans down. His lips press against yours again. His hands slide down to your ass. You are lifted slightly off the bed. A small gasp leaves you when the tip of his cock press against your entrance. Jiraiya runs his tongue over yours. You hold onto him as he sinks down. Your legs twitch and tense as you take every inch. Your cries of pleasure are muffled. It feels so good! You don’t know what to do! It’s hard to handle or describe. His hips finally hit yours just as thought you couldn’t handle anymore.

You broke the kiss with a whimpering moan. You take in the air you were deprived of with one deep breath. Jiraiya moans your name and presses his face against your neck. You move your hands behind his neck to hold him.

“You’re okay if I move?” He asks, his voice husky and quiet.

“Oh please do!” You groan. You turn your face towards his and your lips graze his ear. “Fuck me. Fuck me, Jiraiya!”

He smiles. He kisses your neck and jaw. His hips move back slowly then push back in. The pace is slow but it forces you to stay tense. It’s just so much in such a good way. It’s stretching and filling you but leaves you wanting more when he pulls back. His fingers flex and grip your ass. His arms even shake a little.

It’s been so long since he’s had a woman. Even before the recent tragedy that happened in his life, Jiraiya didn’t have much luck finding a partner. He hasn’t been in the mood since all that happened. Then you happened. He’s never had someone that’s felt this good to hold, to kiss, to fuck so passionately with. His heart is hammering in his chest with excitement. But he didn’t want it fast. You feel better than he ever could have thought it could feel. Every breath you take is a moan of his name. Your fingers are shaking from how good he’s making you feel. Your back arches and your stomach presses against his. Your head throws back as you seize like electricity just shot through your body. He digs into that spot that made you do that and your walls clench with the climax you just hit. He wants to savour this for as long as possible.

Jiraiya runs his hand down your left leg. He holds it still until you relax and breathe again. Your head is swimming from the high you just hit. You can hear your blood pumping in your ears. He presses that leg up until your knee is by your shoulder. He straddles the other and you are forced to be on your side. He sits up. It feels cool and the air is fresh without him next to you, but it was nice having him so close. Without him to grip, you hold the sheets as he resumes fucking you.

The pace is faster. Your body rocks back and forth with the force of it. It’s still not as intense as you know he can probably do. He’s a big man after all, he could probably make the headboard rattle off the frame and give you a concussion from hitting it so hard. This is good too. It’s giving you a chance to enjoy every little bit of his dick without harming you. The headboard breaking and head injuries can wait until next time. The angle is good but you want more. There’s something you just don’t like about not being able to touch your partner as they fuck you. It’s harder to appreciate that it’s them.

You sit up, which makes Jiraiya halt. You grip his arms and hoist yourself up. You free your leg to sit on him. Your legs are folded so you’re on your knees. It’s not uncomfortable. Despite the bruises on them, this felt too good to care how the pressure on them feels. You squeeze your legs against his and dig your fingers into his arms. Jiraiya supports your lower back with his hand and his other hand holds that back of your neck. You ride him. You stay flush against his pelvis and roll your hips to grind the amazing amount of pleasure it’s providing you.

Jiraiya is breathing hard. His lips are parted and you can feel the puffs of hot air on your face. His fingers grip and squeeze your neck. His left hand runs up and down your spine. His hips rut in the opposite rhythm to yours. Pushing in when you pull back. When you sit up, Jiraiya presses his lips back to yours. He holds you in place like that with his hand holding underneath your thigh to keep you lifted. He thrusts his hips up to fuck you at this angle. Your tongue presses and plays with his as your body bounces with the force with his hips. His teeth scrape against yours each time he goes back in after a quick breath.

“Mmphf!” Your moan is muffled in his mouth.

In response Jiraiya inhaled and held it. It sounds so good with your voice echoing in his mouth and resonating in his head. You are tense in your legs and torso. Hearing you so close is rewarding. The throbbing pulsing sensation in his cock is warning him he won’t last much longer.

He sunk down to his knees so that just the head of his cock is inside of you. There’s a void feeling inside of you as you miss it so close to a climax. His hand on your neck travels down to your thigh where the other already is on the other thigh. Your hips are rocking back and forth eagerly with the head just teasing you. His hips are rolling with a need too, so he must be close. He just didn’t want it to end just yet. If only he had better body control, then he’d deny himself of cumming just to fuck you for hours without a break.

Just as you gasp in a breath to beg for him to give it to you, Jiraiya pushes you down. You fall down on it fast. The length of his erection inside of you so perfectly it brings about the end. You clench up as you cum. He tries to hold on but falls forward. Jiraiya rests his fast on your chest. He is quivering as he rocks his hips in tiny motions to milk the amazing feeling but it’s almost too over stimulating to go further. He pants your name under his breath over and over again as he makes his own orgasm last for several more seconds.

All at once Jiraiya relaxes and collapses his weight over top of you. You had just relaxed yourself when his added hundred and eighty or so pounds crushed the air out of you. It was a lot, but you don’t care. You don’t want him to ever leave your touch again. You retract your fingers from his arms and move them up to his shoulders. From there you can pull him into a hug. You maneuver under his curtain of hair to touch his bare skin. His chest moves against your belly in a deep sigh.

“I think I’m in love with you.” Jiraiya broke the silence with a confession.

His face leaves your chest to rise and see your reaction. A smile is on your lovely face. The comforting hug you had him in leaves to hold his face. It’s a gesture that’s really growing on him. Your gentle fingers touch and caress his face. It’s your way of saying that you’re looking him in the eyes, or that’s how he interrupts it.

His cheeks are very warm. His expression is hard to read. His lips are parted and aren’t quite in a smile nor a frown. His brows are raised. The lashes you can feel on the sides of your thumbs are twitching, so his eyes must be moving. He’s searching for your answer, which is hard when your eyes don’t really emote.

“I think I love you too.” You finally say.

Jiraiya laughs softly. For the first time in over half a year, he feels a genuine good amount of joy. His arms wrap around you and he kisses you. You hold him and kiss him back. A sharp pain pokes your wrist like a sudden stab with a hair pin in between the joints. You pull away your sprained hand. You try not to complain about the pain as it all comes back. Enough of the endorphins had left to have the gross soreness and gritty pain of your injuries to return. It returned with a vengeance as you pulled on your scrapes when you rode Jiraiya and put pressure on the bruises with every position you were in.

“Are you okay?” Jiraiya whispers. His face is right in front of yours.

“Just sore.” You answer.

He rubs your braced wrist and arm. He adds a few kisses along the fabric as if to apologize. It’s really not his fault. He has some rampant followers, there’s not a lot he can do about it.

“You aren’t permanently hurt, are you?”

“No.” You sigh. You flex your fingers out and grunt when there’s another sharp pain. The massage he’s giving your sore arm does feel nice. The pressure isn’t to hard and stops right before the sorest part. It feels swollen. “It’ll heal with time and rest.”

“I’m sorry this happened to you.”

You opened your mouth to say he didn’t need to apologize, but Jiraiya interrupted with his lips back against yours. You move your lips against his in a tender make out session. It’s good enough to forget your train of thought. His thumb rubs circles into your sore wrist as he makes you forget all about the pain with his love and affection. He pulls back suddenly and sits up. The air feels frigid without him on top of you.

“Come on. Let’s go on that date, shall we?” Jiraiya said cheerfully.

“Really?” You sit up slowly and furrow your brow. “But what will we do after the date?”

He chuckles. You crack a smile just before getting kissed again. It’s addictive. Each one leaves you and him craving the next one. You are pulled to your feet. It takes a long time to get dressed again. Each article of clothing you try to put on was interrupted with more delightful kisses. You and Jiraiya almost got worked up again to get back on the bed. But he refrained. This is just a thing he really wants to do. Show you off with no shame. To finally be able to hold and love someone in public that he knows loves him for him is a feeling that he can’t really describe. It’s like he’s more whole again. Heh.... the Fifth Hokage is going to marry a blind woman. There has to be some kind of irony he knows is there, but he chooses to ignore. So long as he’s happy and you are happy too, he’ll ignore every little thing that tries to keep him away from you.

You hold onto Jiraiya’s arm as he leads you away. He didn’t say where he was taking you, but you trust him. The familiar smell of trees and grass hit your nose. The soft blades grass graze your feet as you walk into the park you know so well. You expect to sit on the bench, but you are lowered onto the grass with the bark of the oak tree supporting your back.

“I’ll be right back! I forgot to grab the picnic part of the picnic!” Jiraiya announced. He’s excited still despite this one set back. He leaves after a kiss goodbye.

“Hurry back!” You call after him as you hear the patter of his feet fade.

You are a little stranded without Jiraiya. You didn’t think to grab your cane when he took you away. You shift and fiddle with your hands as you miss him. The sounds of footsteps approaching you gets your hopes up. Excitement grows in your chest. That was quick! Jiraiya is fast when it counts.

“I thought I told you not to come back here!”

Your heart drops at the sound of a familiar female voice. Its one of your attackers. You curl yourself up to protect your torso and arms.

“You’re bothering a very important man with your constant need for attention!” She accuses you. Her tone is angry and annoyed. “He can’t be focused on one measly unworthy useless blind girl his whole day! Lord Jiraiya has better things he could be doing, he’s just too nice to tell you to go away!”

“Just leave me alone!” Your voice comes out more quiet and pathetic then you meant it to. It was supposed to be loud and demanding but it had the threatening power of a mouse standing up to a starved feral cat.

“No! You don’t deserve him!”

The air around your head flutters. Like a large bird about to take off or a hand fanning air right next to your head. Something soft brushed against your forehead. It’s familiar too. You reach out to feel that Jiraiya had returned. He’s standing in front of you. You touch his knee, from that you can gauge what he’s doing. He’s leaning forward and it’s a piece of his hair that’s tickling you.

Insufferable entitled woman! Jiraiya hisses under his breath as one of the women from the other day was an inch away from grabbing you. He had her wrist gripped in his hand. He heard enough to make him see red. Why can’t people just leave him and the people he loves alone? Is that such a hard order to follow? Is he asking the fucking world with that one? Apparently so since no one wants to listen to him!

“Oh! Lord Hokage.” She tried smiling and faking innocence. “I... I caught her stealing from one of the children in the playground.”

“I know that’s a lie.” Jiraiya states. His tone is quiet and threatening. He pulled her close, but she knew it wasn’t for a hug. He stared her down and lowered his voice to a hushed snarl. “If you or any one else ever harm another hair on her head, I’ll discharge everyone involved in this little ‘fan club’ I have out of the military. I’m even considering banishment for the poor behaviour I’ve seen.”

The woman looked shocked. She twisted her wrist out of his grasp. She frowned at him then you before spinning on her heel and leaving in a huff. She’s muttering bitterly under her breath as she storms off to the group of women standing by.

“Jiraiya?” You ask and pull lightly on his pants.

“Sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with that.”

“I can manage.” You assure him. He sits on his knees in front of you with your encouraging tugs on his pants. “I got you to protect me now, right?”

“Right.” He chuckles. He holds your hands. “I won’t allow anyone to treat you so terribly.”

He seals the promise with a kiss. It felt normal to kiss you in public. He didn’t care who saw since it’s not about politics. The weight of his lies aren’t sitting on his thoughts anymore. It feels good to be him again. For the first time in so long, Jiraiya feels like Jiraiya. It’s all thanks to you that he’s happy being himself. He pecks your lips one last time before pulling away. He did steal a glance to his supposed supporters and secretly relishes in their gawking. He chose you out of all the women in the village, because you’re better than all of them. Not that it was ever a competition, but none of these women, common or clan alike, stood a chance against you. You are just too perfect. With you by his side he has no need to worry or to hurt. You’re there to help take that burden like you have with every little thing you’ve ever done with him.

He sits down beside you and pulls the lovely picnic basket that’s been waiting for too long to be picked apart and eaten right next to him. Jiraiya breaks a law or two as he pops open the bottle of wine and shares it with you. But hey, he’s Hokage after all. Who is gonna tell him no? He wraps his arm around you and pulls you close.

The park is a perfect place to have a date. You smile and wrap your arm around the front of his waist. You rest your head on his chest and enjoy his company. The warmth of the sun and beat of his heart against your ear is a beautiful song to enjoy. For now, you enjoy the peace. For later you know that Jiraiya is going to set the beat to a different kind of song. One that’ll last all night long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all I love blind reader stuff it’s so cute. And I hope I did good on the request my dear reader. I imagine this one continues with a much more at peace Jiraiya okay with living his life now. Especially when he comes home to the beautiful sounds of piano music that’s being played by his wife and if you so choose, a child who inherited their mother’s blindness and love for music.


	43. Kidnapping A Sage’s Husband

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It surprises a lot of people that you are just as much as a protective spazz over Jiraiya as he is of you. When a mission gone wrong leaves him stranded, you step in to save the man you love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: non consensual touching and kissing. Torture. Injury. Little bit of mind fuckery. Ya know... all that fun stuff.
> 
> I put double spacing between perspective changes to make it a bit more easier to read. I hope it’s not too distracting!

“No one is coming for you. Doesn’t that bother you?” The overly sweet voice of his tormentor asked him.

“..” Jiraiya doesn’t reply.

He flinches when her nails touch his cheek. They’re sharp like talons. They’ve poked a few holes into his face already. She seems to fancy him. Every time she put him under some... persuasive questioning, she’s been very touchy. With her clawed nails running through his hair or down his chest. She sat in his lap and enjoyed his squirming as she rutted his hips.

“What about that wife of yours? Does she really care about you?” She purrs.

She surprised him again with a forceful kiss. Jiraiya pulls on his restraints and turns his head away. He can’t get away. He’s blinded by cloth over his eyes and his arms are spread apart with shackles attached to chains. They are suspended and chained to something else that’s always tugging on his body. It’s either weighted or attached to something that controls the slack. He was blindfolded the moment he arrived, so he has no clue. Honestly he didn’t know what he was going to do. It’s hard to come up with a plan under these conditions. He can’t see key things to aid him. His hearing can only figure out so much. It’s difficult with the echo of the caves. It might be utterly hopeless. That doesn’t stop the instinct to shove this woman off of him. He will hold on for as long as possible to spite these cruel people!

“Ooo! Calm down, cowboy!” His captor laughs at him. She holds onto his shoulders and mocks him as she pretends she’s taking a ride on his groin. “You’re so cute when you get so worked up! What would you do if I caught her, hm?”

Jiraiya shook his head. He bit his lower lip. He didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of a response. She huffs after a moment of silence. Her hands drag down his chest, which is marked up from various lashes from various weapons. They sting and flare up whenever she touches them.

“Ah!” He gasps in surprise.

A shooting pain starts at his collarbone and up his neck. She had dug her nail into the open wound. He yanks and writhes from the horrible feeling. It’s as if a bug is crawling into his wound and playing around in his veins. His captor took advantage of this and stole his lips in a kiss while his mouth was caught open.

Jiraiya shakes his head to get her tongue out of his mouth. He only likes it when it’s your tongue. While he knows it’s not his choice, it does feel wrong and like he’s betraying you by letting her get anywhere near him. He resorts to biting her tongue when she held his head in place.

“Ow!” She complains.

His head is thrown to the side with the force of her slap. It stings his cheek. She’s lucky she thought this whole bondage thing through. Jiraiya would like nothing more than to return the favour. It takes a lot to keep him contained. Maybe in a different life he would have enjoyed her flirtier attempts in getting him to talk. He played along with it at first, but it rose a sense of disgust in him. It weirdly felt close to cheating on you. Maybe in a world where he isn’t happily married he would be in better shape. He misses you... he never thought he could miss holding you so much.

“Why don’t we find out exactly what you will do? It’s not like you can escape.” His oh so lovely captor teases him. Her lips meet his ear while her fingers scratch his scalp. “She couldn’t escape either.”

“You don’t have her.” Jiraiya calls their bluff. “She’s on a different mission across the land.”

“Well yeah she was. But then she heard about her poor helpless husband held captive by the crazy mountain clans who only want a village of their own.” Her tone was laced in a deadly sarcasm. “She came looking for you alone. Quite stupid, to be honest.”

There’s the dull all telling sound of something heavy being dragged on the dirt. There’s a thunk like a sack of flour hitting the ground. Little whimpers and cries elevates his heart rate.

“Jiraiya? Oh god, honey, are you okay?” Your voice seizes his his cool and dread fills him.

“Let me see her.” He demands firmly. “I don’t believe that’s her.”

“I don’t have to do anything.” His tormentor denies him. “I don’t care if you believe if that’s her or not. It is and you get a front row seat to her torment as well. I can only imagine what your head will conjure up at the screams she’ll make.”

A delicate hand managed to touch his foot before getting yanked away. You do start yelling. The sounds of a scuffle and clothing being ripped is nauseating. Jiraiya twists his wrists and pulls down on his bonds. He can’t stand up from this position as he knows he’s too weak. 

He shifts and struggles. It gets worse enough to buck that harpy off of his hips and attempt to stand. Hearing you shriek had sent him into a frenzy. He gets to a crouch and ignores the head rush. It’s a struggle to think straight. The days of being starved, dehydrated, and losing blood was catching up to him. He almost got his hands together form a seal when the slack on the chain became tight. It yanked him back and dislocated his left shoulder with the force.

The pain was searing. His fingers and elbow twitch in response to his command to move them. He’s effectively turned this arm useless. The woman who has been successfully getting under his skin took her seat on his lap again. She tuts her tongue at him like he’s a temperamental child.

“Are you done having your tantrum? Just sit back and listen.” She scolds him. She rests her head on his shoulder and drops her voice to a whisper. “I’ll be sure to point something out if you miss it.”

Jiraiya hisses between his teeth. He didn’t have a choice now did he? All he can do is listen to the awful sounds of your whimpering and crying. The only thing that’s comforting him is the possibility that it isn’t you. It’s all a ruse made up of either illusions or a ninja skilled in voice impersonation. That’s all it is. It has to be. But if there’s a small chance that it is really you... he’ll murder them all for dragging you into this. They hurt you and that’s unforgivable.

The sounds of your cries churns his stomach all the same. He grits his teeth and tries to stay calm. That witch of a woman strokes his chest and coos at him as your voice screams his name. You beg for help and he can’t do anything. It is the worst thing he’s ever heard. He’d much rather get stabbed in the ears than listen to you keen in torturous pain. A lump forms in his throat as the guilt of being so useless that it may be causing you irreversible damage consumed him.

“And remember,” the cruel woman whispers again. She draws shapes into his chest just hard enough to leave red marks. “If you just give in and talk, I’ll let her go.”

He sucks in a breath through his clenched teeth. They know you are his weak spot. It wrenches his heart to hear your voice so distressed. Still so, Jiraiya stubbornly holds on. He bites his tongue. It can’t be you. You can’t be here. You know better than to come after him. Then again... you love him and are crazy enough to run after him.

He sits there fighting with these two ideas. It’ll destroy him if that is really you. If these people have hurt you, he won’t ever forgive himself. But if it’s all a ruse, he’s worried over nothing. He’s considering spilling all the information they want out of him just to save you. If it’s fake, then he did if for nothing. There’s no guarantee that they’ll be true to their word either. He slumps his head and grinds his teeth. He badly wants to yell something at you.... but there’s no words he can really say that will comfort you... If that’s really you. He’d hate to show weakness in front of the enemy. He just hopes you know that he loves you and understanding as to why he stays silent. 

It took some time. All the cracks and looming cave entrances look the same. Apparently the group of rogues here has a whole underground hideout in the mountains. It was converted from an old mine into a livable space. Impressive. Hence why they want to be called The Village Hidden in the Ground. But setting up shop in the Land of Fire is a silly idea. But they are stubborn and have demanded this ends in war between villages to see who is truly the ninja village to the grand forest. It’s why Jiraiya was sent out to be captured. He has a pretty damn good memory. If he can lead and navigate a small force into the old mine shafts, the enemy will be blindsided and surprised. But this looks to be a mayday situation as Konoha dared ask you to forget him. He’s a lost cause. He has to get himself out or suffer the consequences.

Sheesh.

Dumbasses.

The thought still outraged you. It surprises a lot of people that you are just as protective of your husband as he is of you. It’s like everyone expects you to be a weakling that is deserving of Jiraiya’s overprotective tendencies. But in actuality, it’s all the loss of friends you and him experienced together that formed this need for protection. Neither you or your husband wanted to lose each other. You and him have lost too much already. 

You bite your thumb and summon forth the smallest toad registered. She looks at you curiously. You hardly ever summon unless the situation is dire. A little toad like her is rarely summoned unless it’s to scout. She’s perfect for the job. She’s ground colours and quiet. She can squeeze into any nook of any size.

“Can you investigate what’s going on the other side of that crack?” You ask your summon as you point to the large crack in the mountain face. You can stick about four fingers in there with a void of space on the other side.

“Of course.” She said with a nod.

You watch her crawl into the crack. She’s gone for only a moment or two. She pokes her head back out.

“There’s a network of tunnels. All of them lit with torches and I hear voices down one of the tunnels.” She reports.

“Good. Can you get me in there?” You ask.

She nods. She opens her mouth and her tongue shoots out. This is a thing you’ve sorta become accustomed to. You still can’t hold back your cringe when your body gets slightly smooshed under the wacky size jutsu your toad activates in order to eat you. You trust that she doesn’t digest you. All you can do is sit in her belly and communicate with her as she comes across things. It’s an unconventional way to travel, but it works. At least this way you’re not causing a ruckus and announcing your presence to the enemy. If lucky enough, maybe you can just scoop up your husband and take him away within the safety of the toad’s belly.

You miss him. The worry you were burying had finally come forth. The quiet of the toad’s belly has suddenly become full of your thoughts. What if Jiraiya is hurt? Like really hurt! It’s hard to actually imagine your husband hurt. He can take and shake off deadly attacks with hardly a complaint. 

He’s never been... weak in front of you. Nothing like this before. He’s a big tough guy on the outside, but a real marshmallow in the centre. He didn’t ever want you to see him hurt or in pain. Jiraiya does try to act like things don’t bother him, but he’s bad at it. His eyes always give away what emotion he feels no matter how much he tries to steel them. You comfort him during these emotional hardships, but you’ve never witnessed a physical one. He hates it when you worry about him. But you can’t help it. You love him. His well-being means so much to you.

“Are you alright?” The calm concerned voice of your summon asked you.

“Yes. How’s things on your end?” You tilt your head up to speak to her, projecting your voice towards her throat.

“Just fine. No one has noticed us. But...”

“But what?”

“These tunnels are hard to navigate. One breaks off into four or five more different paths. The voices I hear are echoing around me like they come from each tunnel...”

That does sound confusing. You pat her belly to assure her.

“Let’s just try our best. For Jiraiya.”

“For m’lord.” She agrees. She continues down the tunnels, trusting her instincts on where to go.

“You really are stubborn.”

At the sound of her voice, Jiraiya turned his head away. It felt natural to do so now. She’s done nothing but force her tongue down his throat. Her hands run through his hair and she straddles his waist again. He was left alone for a while, from her anyways. He dealt with the wrong end of a cane for what felt like hours. Each strike got harder with his refusal to answer. The weapon broke in two from the force he was struck with since all he did was chide the person torturing him. His snide comments weren’t appreciated. It’s the only thing he can control anymore in this situation.

This is a failure of a mission... isn’t it? All this struggle for nothing. Jiraiya is damn good at double talk. He’s matched the questions spoken to him with similar ones. Since he’s in the compromising position, his captors have been cooperative without realizing it. All the intel he’s gathered means nothing if he dies. If it’s not deemed important enough, he’ll just rot here. You might be rotting here too... which is something he can’t allow.

“Where is she?” Jiraiya asks quietly. His throat feels like sandpaper. He’s thirsty... he’s hungry, but he’d rather die than ask anything from these people.

“Rest assured she’s alive.”

“Let me see her.”

She just sighs. She’s getting impatient with him. She grabs his face by the chin and forced him to face her. He pressed his lips together tightly. She caressed his face and kissed him anyways. She rolled her hips against his. It felt horrible and dirty.

“Why do you love her? I heard you were quite the perv. I figured you’d like the opportunity to cheat on that wife of yours. She’s not even that pretty.”

Jiraiya doesn’t reply. He sits quietly and she scoffs. In any other situation he would defend you. At this point he knows anything he says won’t matter. His perverted kidnapper pouts with a huff. She plays with his hair and rocks her hips slowly. It still feels gross. He didn’t like having a different woman on him trying to do this to him. He didn’t agree to this and he didn’t want her near him anymore. He hates every second of her touching him.

“What if we get her to cheat on you? Some of my comrades have mentioned how passable she is to bone. Even all bloody and sobbing she’s good enough for them!” She darkly suggests.

“If you touch her anymore than you have, I’ll kill you.”

“Ooo. That’s the most threatening thing I’ve ever heard you say.” She grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled his head back so his face is to the ceiling. His throat feels exposed. Her lips graze it. “I do enjoy an older bad boy.”

Jiraiya sneers at her. Her mockery has pissed him off to the last straw. He shifts his hips, his ass sore from being stuck sitting here for days. She moans in his ear and it only makes him cringe. He’d much rather get castrated than do anything that turned this twisted woman on. It only makes him angrier. He pulls on the restraints with his good arm as she goads him on. Her hands play with the waistband of his pants. It makes him buck and struggle with the strength he has left.

The toad came to a stop. She gasps and scoots backwards.

“I’ve found m’lord!” She whisper yells.

“Really?” You stand and look up her throat. “Is he okay? What’s going on?”

“Uhm... he’s... well...”

“Let me out.” You don’t like how she sounds.

“As you wish.”

You hold your arms out to catch yourself before you hit the ground face first. You crawl out of her mouth and onto the cold floor of a mine cave. It’s very dim in these caves. You look around slowly to gain your bearings. In front of you, you see your husband. His wrists tied and suspended above him in a wide v shape. The shackles holding him hostage are on a pulley system that will slowly crank a person up against the wall if continued to be tightened. Whether or not these are original to the mine or added for their little torture room is unclear. It’s hard to imagine what a contraption was used for back in it’s mining days. Yet it seems oddly complicated and cruel for keeping prisoners. You can’t see much of him as a woman is sitting on his lap. She’s laughing at his struggling and whispering things in his ear. He’s pulling on his cuffs and turning his body violently in an attempt to get away from her.

Immediate anger hit you. How dare this woman? The hell does she think she’s doing? You storm forward and grab her by her hair. She yelps when you pull her off of Jiraiya. Her eyes lock with yours and they widened.

“How did you?” She asked.

“No one messes with my family!” You hiss at her.

She snarled and launched herself at you. You prepared yourself. You got locked into battle. The whole mine was probably aware at this point. Your opponent is loud and messy. Her strikes sting, but you push through it. Nothing could make you lose. The anger you feel for what she has done to your loved one only fuelled you to win harder.

You are an accomplished person. An S rank like your husband. He taught you almost everything you know. You can do this. You roll around and get her pinned against the wall opposite of Jiraiya. On it is a matching set of chains. You get one of her hands locked in. She hit and scratched. She cut your face open with one of her nails. You caught her hand when she tried again. She’s an excellent tormentor, but it seems she’s not very good at fighting. You lock her other wrist in and step away.

“Fuck you! Let me go and fight like a real woman!” She shrieked at you.

You ignore her. She’s kicking and screaming as you turn away. You pause in front of the lever controlling the slack on her cuffs. You kick it. She squeals when she goes shooting up the wall. She braces and pulls so she’s not torn in two by the tension. It’ll be death if she relaxes. Good. You leave her to dangle and be afraid for her life. If her comrades care, they’ll show up.

You kneel in front of Jiraiya. He hasn’t relaxed since you pulled that chick off of him. He’s blindfolded and covered in wounds. That lack of sight had probably made him tense since he had no clue what was happening. The sounds of a scuffle has put him on guard.

He’s without his top layers. His torso and arms covered in marks of all sorts. Hard strikes to his skin has torn it open all over his body. Dark bruises decorate his ribs. His wrists are all bloody from twisting around in an attempt to escape the bonds. His pants are torn and tattered from what looks like the strikes of some sort of weapon. Underneath the tears were bruises and cuts. He’s bit his lip enough times to cause a mark. His face has a few scratches over his cheek like he got swiped by a set of claws. He’s endured a lot.

“Oh honey.” You coo at him. You caress his face. He flinches, which surprises you.

“You aren’t really here... Are you?” Jiraiya asked quietly, his voice is hoarse. He sounds doubtful and fearful. He keeps pulling his head away when you try to hold it.

You untie the fold holding his sight hostage. He opened his eyes. He groaned when the light hit them. Having it be so dim made it harder for his eyes to make out details. He’s been blinded for over a week, the bit of light was still harsh to his senses. After several blinks, they finally focus. He looks you over and smiles. It’s tired, but relieved.

“I knew they didn’t have you.” He sighed out his worry.

“What are you talking about?”

“... Nothing.” Jiraiya leaned forward until his cheek touched yours in a gentle nuzzle. “I’m just glad to see you.”

“I’m glad to see you too.”

For several moments you just hold him. His anguish melted the moment he saw you. All your fear had left you once you held him. You’re okay, he’s okay. You stand after some time, he needs to be set free and taken home. He makes a whine of complaint. He needs like a whole month of quality uninterrupted wife time. You unlock and unlatch the cuffs. Each arm kinda just flopped down. The blood was rushing back into them. Jiraiya sits back and reaches over to his shoulder. It did look a little funny. He grimaced when he braced it. It’s really messed up.

You touch it. With very gentle fingers you feel to see what the damage is. It’s hot to the touch and swollen. There’s a divot in his shoulder where the joint is supposed to be set. It’s most certainly dislocated. It must be painful. Although it’s hard to tell as Jiraiya does well with a brave face. You put your palm flat on the front of his shoulder and hold the back of his bicep. You share a look with him. He nods when he’s ready.

The sickening crack of his joint going back into place forced a shudder down your back. Bodies shouldn’t make such an awful sound. He merely let out a hiss of pain. The injury throbs with the force of it being put back in place. The colour left his face from the pain. It must be in horrific shape if he’s matching the colour of his hair. His eyes are a little watery after you reset it. 

Ouch. You cringe for him as he rubs the injury. He does offer you a small smile as if to say it’ll be fine. It needs to be braced so it doesn’t slide back out of place. You remove the sash holding your kosode together. It falls open, to which Jiraiya grins at. You roll your eyes as he looks you over. It’s not like it’s a peep show, you have a netted armour shirt on. He just loves to look, doesn’t he? At least his spirit hasn’t been broken by this experience. This is still the same delightful weirdo you fell in love with. You fashion a sling out of it, ensuring that your husband can’t injure it again by tying it tightly around his arm and chest. You tear a piece left over from the tie to blot away some blood on his face. He looks bad with blood decorating his pretty face.

“Enough with the nursing!” Jiraiya complained. He used his free arm to pull you against him. He gave you a kiss before you could complain. You don’t fight him. You hold him and kiss him back. He pulled back after a few pleasant seconds. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You reply in a hushed voice. You stroke his messy hair away from his bloody face. “You’re okay?”

“I will be.”

You grow a smile. Poor thing. He will be fine with time but it’s not easy seeing him so injured. He’s your tough big marshmallow. You hold him and kiss him. His lips are dry. It must hurt to kiss you, but he didn’t care. It felt amazing to kiss you again. You’re okay and with him again. That’s all he could ever ask for. The trauma he experienced is already healing with you right beside him.

“You two are just gross.” The woman pinned to the wall scoffed in disgust.

You look back to see she’s still struggling to keep herself together. You frown at her. She meets your frown evenly. The sound of footsteps down one of the many tunnels echoed around the walls. The woman grinned as he knew help was coming.

“My lady, m’lord.” You and Jiraiya look down to the little toad waiting by your feet. “We should get going.”

You nod. You hold onto Jiraiya as the toad swallows you and him. It was best to disappear before the back up arrived. Your summon can sneak away without being caught. Jiraiya sighed in relief. It’s so comforting to be in the belly of a toad. Especially with his lovely wife to hold onto. He yawns and snuggles right up to you. His head resting on your chest as he had you pinned underneath him. You play with his hair and it coaxes him to sleep. Everything was okay now. He has his family back. He’s safe. That’s enough to finally get some rest. For the first time in many days, he falls asleep peacefully.

Next he awakes, it’s in a hospital. Jiraiya was mostly cooperative. He didn’t like being hospitalized. Most of the time he pouted. He snorted in sarcasm when the nurses told him what to do. He bats them away when they move to clean his wounds. He jumped when one of them tried to take his pants off for a check up on his leg wounds. He got discharged early just so they didn’t have to deal with his squirrelly ass anymore.

Now Jiraiya is your problem. Not that you mind. He’s a fun problem to deal with. Just a little annoying at times. He was clingy and whiny just to bug you. He behaves childish when he wants your care and attention. Practically everywhere you had a Jiraiya holding onto you. His arm wrapped around your middle and he’d refused to let you go. His chin would be rested on your shoulder as you tried to waddle with him attempting to spoon you whilst walking around the village. He insisted you feed him as he clearly can’t feed himself with his arm in a sling. His other hand is too busy holding your hand! Most people just ignored it. He’s always been rather goofy with you after all. You always indulged in it so it wasn’t so odd to the denizens of Konoha to see the two sages all lovey dovey with one another.

Jiraiya has always healed well. His cuts closed up and didn’t leave many marks behind. He doesn’t scar very often unless the wound is very deep. He’s almost completely back to normal in a month. Even so, he still holds onto you like a child and begs to be taken care off. He only stopped when you gave in completely. Which came with it’s own set of consequences. He relishes with an almost sadistic joy when you give into his antics.

He flopped down onto his back and sigh. He’d only stop being such a whiner when you took his pants off to get him comfortable for bed. Because he certainly can’t undress himself with his injuries. You rolled your eyes every time he insisted you undress him.

“Here we go!” Jiraiya would exclaim happily as you kneel between his legs.

“I’m not gonna do anything to you, you boob!” You got very exasperated when he behaved like this.

He stuck his bottom lip out at you before yanking you into bed. He’d hold you hostage in a bear hug for hours. His free hand combed through your hair and he’d peck your neck in kisses. For weeks he’d only sleep peacefully with you around. It’s a little strange. The last time he acted like this was when you were hospitalized a few years ago. You almost died and he didn’t dare to let you go. His juvenile behaviour is just his way of saying he missed you... but he didn’t want to let on that it hurt him so much to see you in such a state. In his mind, if he behaves so childishly it distracts and entertains the both of you to not think about the pain. It’s not like you were the one who was tied up, blinded, harassed, and hit for over a week. He hasn’t said a word about what he went through.

“You saw enough. Let’s not think about it anymore.” Jiraiya insisted. 

He never liked talking about the stuff he’s gone through. You respect his wishes and try not to dwell about what he endured. Still so, you worry.

You can mostly ignore it. You instead focus on the positive. It’s not so bad to have your husband attached to you. He whispers very sweet words in your ear. It’s the most he’s ever said them to you. He tells you how much he loves you so many times a day. It’s a little strange, it’s not like he was close to death and neither were you, but he holds you like he almost lost you. He keeps you pinned against his body and makes out with your neck. His free hand wanders your body while he promises that the moment his shoulder recovers, you won’t get a break. It’s a promise you look forward to.

Once he’s healed and fit for duty, Jiraiya was immediately given the mission to lead a group into the old mines. The objective was to rout the enemy. The group of wannabes are still in there causing too much trouble. It truly is the only option left to squash their ambitions. He got free reign to pick who he wanted for such a mission. You are his first pick to join him. He knows he won’t be able to do this without you to back him up.

He kept his promise. For a few days, you and him haven’t worn clothing. The bed you and him are staying in has been constantly occupied. Your pelvis is a little sore, but it shouldn’t interfere with your battle performance. You help Jiraiya get his shirt on. He didn’t need help, but he wasn’t complaining having your hands all over him. He holds your hips firmly as you kiss him. His fingers rub little circles as you try and tie his kosode together. He’d much rather touch you and kiss you than do any mission.

“You’re sure you are ready for this?” You ask.

“More than.” Jiraiya replied in confidence. He moves his hands to wrap around your back and he pulled you flush against him. “So long as I have you by my side, nothing can hurt me.”

You smile at him. You rise on your toes to give him more kisses. Once finally put together, you hold your husband’s hand as you walk beside him to the gates that lead out of the village. There a group of skilled ninja are waiting and ready to take on this dangerous mission. But hey... it’s not so dangerous so long at you have him and he has you. So long as Jiraiya has you to support him, he can do anything. 


	44. He Came from The Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One day, a man emerged from the woods in the dead of night. In only a few short days, he changed your whole life...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Blood. Injury. Biting. Lil kinky with the biting. Slow death. 
> 
> ‘Tis the vampire au my darlings. :) 
> 
> Also reader is sorta just accepting of this idea. But hey, vampires are known for seducing their victims. Even if it’s just how they live that seduces their target...

Three days ago, a man came to your small mountain village. A simple traveler is what he claimed he was. A man with no real destination in mind. Oh to live so free.

You’ve always been stuck in your small town. It would be nice to live how this man did.... But it’s not like you can. You don’t have the know how, you’d probably die falling off a cliff or getting stabbed by an angry random person. Nor do you have the funds, three meals a day and a bed every day? So expensive. This dude must be loaded or something. He’s quite interesting. He suddenly emerged from the woods that surrounds the town. A tall figure that looked out of place, yet one with the trees.

His long white hair was as wild and free as the branches. His clothing is simple, like that of a man unassuming and lower class. A sage green set of masculine robes with a red haori. His skin incredibly fair that it was almost sickly. It made sense as he seems to only come out at dusk and under the moonlight. His pale complexion only made his red markings down his cheeks more prominent. They drew a line all the way to his eyes, which are most intriguing. Sharp and calculating. When he smiles they don’t soften into a real affection. They are a little uncanny. The night you first saw him, you swear they caught and reflected the moonlight almost like how a feline’s does. It could have been a trick of the light. You were simply walking by him in the street and not looking that hard. 

This man was almost other worldly. His looks are unique. How he carries himself is just so... graceful. His steps are silent and he glides across the dirt roads of your little town almost like he isn’t really apart of this dimension. His poise gives him away as maybe someone older. But his age is hard to find in his features. He didn’t have many age lines to his face. So... late twenties, or early thirties? But he composes himself like he’s seen the world in many phases. He’s just... a mystery.

The other people in your town had noticed too. Women in particular have been flocking to him. He seemed to enjoy their attention. He answered their questions with a fond smile. Yet despite having his pick of women, he made his way to you. The one woman who didn’t fall for his charms instantly. Why fall for a womanizer? He’s probably a shallow prick.

Then he approached you. His intense dark eyes looked you over slowly. His lips parted and he asked you your name. You were mesmerized just from that. Like a spell was suddenly cast over you. You whispered your name. He was leaned in close to you. Your eyes were fixated on his lips when he told you his name. Maybe... maybe it’s not a bad idea to get to know the traveler.

“Jiraiya.” He introduced simply. His voice is deep and soothing to listen to. Eternally sturdy and calm.

Your brain stalled. What is there to ask that hasn’t been asked before? He’s been answering they same questions all night. Where he was from? What he did for a living? Why is he here? Did he have a significant other?

“The Land of Fire. I’m a writer that travels for inspiration. I heard this place was beautiful in scenery and women. No... but you could be while I’m here.” He answered them all in a light hearted way.

“Why haven’t I seen you during the day?” You asked. It was just something you noticed. He’s been a real night owl, only emerging once twilight had claimed the sky.

Jiraiya continues to smile and he answered your question.

“I have a skin condition. Heat and sunlight causes my skin to blister.” He explained. He didn’t seemed bothered to share such a personal detail. “I travel by night and been staying in my hotel during the day.”

“What a strange way to live. It must be difficult to have such an allergy.” You offer sympathy.

“It’s not so bad. I find that the most interesting people stay out the latest.”

The way he looked at you when he said that made it clear who he was talking about. It was strange. You are just so... smitten. This stranger is so charming. Smooth talking and handsome. There’s an air of danger about him too. Like he’s subtly hinting at a badder side of him through body language alone. Like his casual lean on the bar top counter with well placed folded arms that had his sleeves pushed up to reveal old battle scars. It has you so intrigued as to what that side is like. It’s a deadly combination.

“It’s dangerous for a lady to walk home by herself. How about I walk you home?” Jiraiya offered.

You barely know this man, but you want to trust him. Such an open and casual person can’t be dangerous. He won’t hurt you. You take his outstretched hand. Your friends and acquaintances he passed up for you are glaring at you in jealousy.

The street lights are dim. You live on the edge of town. Soon their low glow is left behind as you take him to the far edge of the little village you live in. The darkness really descends as the moon is barely a crescent. The farther you got from society to your little cottage, a sense of unease takes you. Butterflies bloom in your belly and the hair on the back of your neck raises. It’s the same feeling of being stalked by a mountain lion. They watch from the bushes as they prowl. It’s the only time you get anxious walking home. You’ve grown up in these woods after all. The prey animals only go quiet when a predator appears. The only sounds are the two sets of feet tramping the path.

You look around to see what could be making your instincts go off. Nothing stalking the trees behind you. Nothing ahead. You look up to your possible one night stand only to freeze. He’s staring at you. Hungry and cold. The glow of his eyes was no trick of the light. They are taking the small bit of light the moon is providing and reflecting it for optimal night vision. It’s silver and bright. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen.

“Jiraiya.” You utter softly. A realization had hit you like a sack of bricks being swung at your head. “You aren’t a human, are you?”

The smile that was once sweet and gentle was now more of a condescending grin. As if you are both clever and foolish in his opinion. You are rooted to the spot as he faces you fully. His hand caressed your cheek. He tilts your head into it and it leaves your neck exposed.

“No. I’m not.” He answered.

Jiraiya pushes your hair away from your face. It feels almost loving. It would be if this wasn’t so terrifying. The relaxed way about him was now sinister. His lips part just before he gets too close for you to be blinded by the proximity. Long needle point fangs are in his mouth where his normal canines once were. He leans down. His lips graze past yours. Then continue down. His tongue laps your neck and he moans softly at your racing pulse. You inhale sharply.

Both pain and pleasure floods you. He bit you. Two sharp fangs pierced your skin and your lifeblood was being sucked out of you. The pain motivated your arms to move. You cling onto Jiraiya’s clothing, holding onto his sleeves tightly as he drinks your blood. He fondled you through your clothing. His fingers rubbed you through the layers of clothing for a few seconds before breaching them to play with your intimates. His fingers push and pump inside of you with ease. You were wet the moment his lips touched your skin.

You don’t know why it made you excited. Or why it felt so good. This monster must have done something to make you so aroused. He’s killing you and it feels like bliss. It’s like his saliva was an aphrodisiac. Or perhaps he’s a creature with venom with the that arousing toxin. When it mixed with your veins it turned you on. You moan and gasp. You are twitching and rutting against his fingers. His throat is making these gulps that are audible in your ear. Something warm and wet escapes past the seal his lips created around your neck. It trails down your skin and the scent of blood is in the air.

“J-Jiraiya!” You cry out his name.

He curls his fingers in response. That’s all it really took. The thrill and fear had made you too excited to hold on. Your knees grow weak as you orgasm. It was one of those great ones where your limbs are shaking and the sensation lingers for minutes. It feeds off of the pain the bite to your neck is providing. A head rush follows right after. You are lacking a lot of your blood. The flood of stimulation was too much for your weakened body. You grow limp in his arms.

Jiraiya pulled back. His teeth dislodged from your neck. He retracted his hand to wrap around your lower back instead. Which supports and cradles you in a dipped posture. Trails of your blood is running down his chin from his stained lips. He smiles at you as he licks his upper lip.

Your vision is growing dark. Surely you are dead. Finished off by a blood sucking monster that had made sure you finished before fading into oblivion. The last thing you see his perverse smile and moonlit glowing eyes.

...

..

The sound of song birds is distant in your hearing. Opening your eyes is so hard. Being stuck in the twilight of awake and sleep is hard to rise from. Usually your room is bright in the morning. The window in your room faces the sunrise. But it’s rather dark when you finally open your heavy eyes.

An intense hunger hit you. Your stomach growls. It’s like you are hollow on the inside. A starving type of hunger. Like you haven’t eaten for days. You roll out of bed and drag yourself to the kitchen. You raid the fridge, craving one thing.

There’s a steak you had gotten from your neighbour. His cow had broken a leg and was put down. He shared the butcherings with everyone and you got a prime cut. You were to impatient to sear it more than a few minutes. It was practically still raw aside from the surface. Biting into it and getting that flood of blood satiated your intense craving. It’s not normally how you take your steak, but it’s all you wanted. The iron taste of the animal blood was so amazing. It woke you up from your trance.

You look up from the countertop to the window. It’s... not day time? It’s so dark out. Did you really sleep all day? The last bit of sun is hurting your eyes. You’re still tired.

God... what happened last night? All you remember is walking home with someone. You were having a good night with that stranger who was passing through. Did you bring him home? Are you so exhausted from a night of naughty fun? You remember at least cumming once. His lips by your neck. His hands all over you. Is that what happened? He must have left right after. You are home alone.

There’s a sourness in your neck. You rub it, cringing from the pain. Why was it so sore? Did your lover for the night grab your neck? No... that’s not quite right.

You feel around the wound. There’s two puncture wounds and the outline of teeth. The punctures line up perfectly with the teeth where canines usually are. It’s hard to believe you’d let someone bite you so hard.

Someone knocks on your door. It takes you out of your thoughts. You walk to the door. Who would be bugging you? You reach for the knob. A weird sensation of dread takes you. Like something terrible is on the other side of the door. But it’s not like wild animals can knock on doors. There’s no one dangerous in your little village. Nothing ever happens here. You shake the feeling and open the door.

“Jiraiya.” You state.

The sight of him connected all the dots. He tilts his head and smiles. He’s not a human. He looks like one. He acts like one. But he consumes your blood. He bit you and got you off as you grew weak in his arms.

“You were hungry!” Jiraiya jokes.

He chuckles at you as he reached out to touch. His fingers caressed your chin and his thumb rubbed your lower lip. The taste of the red meat you so savagely tore into was still on them.

“I don’t blame you. I tend to over feed the first time.” He casually continued the conversation when you didn’t speak.   


You aren’t really... afraid. You know what he is. You know what he’s going to do. Perhaps it’s the knowledge that you can’t get away. You are his prey no matter what you do. In actually, humans really aren’t the top of the food chain. With creatures like this about, humans are probably close to the bottom. He’s designed to hunt humans. His silent steps and charming ways are perfect to sneak upon and draw in prey. How can you fight something that is so intimidating? Honestly, anything meant to feed off of human blood must be designed to be apex predators. His strength and speed is most likely above that of a normal person. You don’t even have the strength to run. You don’t have the motivation to. Looking at him halts you. It’s as if you’re entranced.

“Why am I alive?” You ask him. It felt like you were close to death when he bit you before.

“It’s easier this way.” He shrugged. He raised your chin and tilted it to expose the wound he gave you the night previously. “I can get more out of you by taking only a little at a time.”

You don’t press any further. That made sense... sorta. Bodies replace blood so long as the wound is closed. You craved red meat, which only boosted your energy and help promote your blood count. He’s essentially using you as a replenishing juice box. Soon you’ll run dry, but he plans on drawing it out.

“Why me?” You can’t help but wonder.

Jiraiya leaned down. This time he did kiss you. A gentle kiss that seemed out of character. Then again, the last time he leaned down to your level, he dug his teeth into your neck. He was considerate the last time you were in this position. His fingers weren’t too hard or rough with you when he stroked you off. He pulled back, the kiss breaking far too soon.

“There’s something about you.” Jiraiya explained.... but not really.

It didn’t clarify much, but it was true. You intrigued him from the second he saw you.

He could talk the information out of anyone with enough time. If he was going to stay here to hunt, he’d at least do the community a favour. He finds out who causes trouble around the area. Criminals do nothing for their towns anyways. Especially the really scummy ones who got away with whatever they did. He can deal with them and move on, letting the locals wonder about the sudden deaths but not be to motivated to solve their demises. It’s the perfect plan... It’s the only way he can see living with morals with this diet he cannot change. 

But you... you are just irresistible to him. Jiraiya just had to hunt you. He wanted you. It’s not often he gains such infatuation for a human. His mouth was watering just from your scent. The taste of your blood sent him into a frenzy he hadn’t felt since he first changed. It was blissful and delicious. Like fine wine and exotic food. He wanted more. He’ll get more. He’ll run you close to dry practically every night to satisfy his need to feed from you. There’s also another need he needs to satisfy. You are too pretty and into him to not pursue. 

“Can I come in?” He asks.

“Yes.” You whisper.

It is probably stupid. Not probably. It is. It is stupid. This man has swooned you. He’s inevitably going to kill you, but you find yourself not carrying. So be it. If this is what fate had designed for you, then let it be. At least it’s better than slowly dying in this boring place doing nothing but drifting from day to day. This is the most interesting thing that’s ever happened to you. With the most interesting person you’ve ever met. It felt so good. It’s both thrilling and fun. The elements of danger only makes it so much more interesting. Maybe that’s what’s letting you give in. No one has made you feel so alive. Your life suddenly had a goal.

Jiraiya puts his lips back on yours. You wrap your arms around him and indulge in the feeling. He holds you against him. His hands rub your hips before moving down. He squeezes your ass before going down further to your thighs. When he pushes them, you follow and wrap your legs around his waist one at a time. He supports you with his strength with complete ease. He finally breaches the threshold into your home. He headed into your bedroom, knowing the way already. He must have dropped you off in bed last night. He’s navigating the footprint like he drew it.

Your back hits the bed. The man above you stuck his tongue in your mouth. You suck on it as his hands work on your clothing. He pulls it back and bites your bottom lip before breaking the kiss. Your shirt gets taken off. Followed by your bra. Jiraiya moves down to give your boobs some attention. He plays with one in his hand while the other gets licked by his tongue. His teeth lightly graze your nipple before his tongue swirls around it. His fingers are rolling the other. It’s not too hard. It feels good. Stimulating and enjoyable.

You had your head rolled back and eyes shut, focusing on how it feels. Your breathing his hard like you’ve just ran a marathon. Jiraiya leaves for a moment. His touch and tongue not on you for a few seconds. Looking forward you see he’s undressing. His shirt comes off. His eyes meet yours when his thumbs hook around his pants. Your hands move down your body and hook around your own pants.

At the same time, you and him pull off remaining clothing. Your eyes immediately look at crotch and he looks at yours. Jiraiya is... perfectly endowed. His dick big, hard and standing at the ready. His eyes are calm. All of him is surprisingly composed for being so exposed. His lips curl into a smile after a moment. His teeth have those dangerous points again.

He crawled back over top of you. He didn’t fuck you right away. His fingers got aquatinted with your pussy first. He pushed two inside of you. They thrusted and curled. They find your most sensitive spot right away and dig in. You have a death grip on his back as he fingers you. Just as you buck your hips into his thrusts, he retracts to attack your clit just as aggressively.

“Are you close?” Jiraiya asked oh so sweetly. His lips are just above yours.

“Yes!” You gasp in the word.

He switched back to finger fuck you hard. His lips suck on your neck. His body is moving in unison to your aroused writhing. The sounds you are making is so hot to listen to. You cry his name as a flood of pleasure hits you.

You whine when Jiraiya pulls his fingers away. That felt so good. He could do that to you all night. It’s not all that fair to him. But he’s also eating you, he can get you off a few times. He smirks at you when you look at him. He didn’t move any more until you calmed down. His hands are placed on your thighs and rubbing slowly.

“You have been very cooperative.” He noted.

“I’m convinced you have me under a spell, Jiraiya.” You reply. You scratch his scalp and caress his face. He willingly rests his cheek into your hands as he watches you. “This is most fun I’ve ever had in life.”

“Really? Having sex with me such a milestone event?”

Cheeky bastard. He’s grinning like you just told him he’s the world’s most amazing lover. He kisses across your neck. Then up it to your lips.

“Why do you think this way? Is life here that boring?” Jiraiya questions.

“Yeah.. it really is.” You sigh. He adjusts himself as you speak. He rises on his knees to scoot closer to you until he’s kneeling in between your legs and has them straddled around his thighs. He tilts his head in question. “You are everything I want to be. Even if you are a monster. You’re free to roam the world. You go and do whatever you wish.”

“Do you want that? Why not just go do it?”

“Really now?” You smirk at him. “I know nothing other than this town. It’s too late now anyways... You’re going to feed off of me until I die, aren’t you?”

“That was the plan.” He sighs. He leans over you. He wraps an arm behind your back and raises you up slightly from the bed. “But now I’m not so sure.”

“Oh?”

“I never hunt the prettiest women for food. It’s a waste of beauty. Something about you attracts me.” Jiraiya explains. “I’ve never felt this way over someone before.” He goes quiet for a moment. He looks you over slowly. “And I don’t know how I feel about it.”

It’s silent for a few moments. You stare at him as he stares at you. His expression is thoughtful and troubled. He hasn’t made up his mind about how he feels about you. You aren’t even sure what you feel for him. Do you love him or love how he lives? You hardly know this thing. Yet you only want to be closer to him.

“Then don’t make up your mind.” You finally say. You grip a handful of his hair. “Just fuck me.”

He smiles. What better way to get to know someone than to have amazing sex with them?

“If you insist.”

Jiraiya makes out with your neck again. Then your lips. He keeps them occupied as he guided his cock inside of you. Your muffled moan fills his mouth. Each inch is amazing. It stretches and fills you perfectly. He groaned once he was buried to the hilt inside of you. It’s warm... it’s wet. Nothing could be better.

The kiss breaks when he began to thrust. It’s slow but deep. His entire length slides all the way to the head before pushing back in until his pelvis hits yours. Jiraiya moans your name by your ear. His lips peck over your jawline. You turn your head to the side, exposing your neck. Just let it happen. It felt so good last time. He didn’t bite you right away. He licked over the old wound he gave you slowly. The tip of his tongue prodded at the sore punctures in your neck. Then his lips pressed against the tender area. He rolled his hips as he sucked.

It got faster. Jiraiya began to lose his composure. He moaned as he sped up. You feel too good and he wants more. Everything about you is driving him crazy. Your finger nails scraping his scalp and the yanks your fists are doing to his hair. Your heat and sweat is only making your scent stronger. Your pulse is so strong under his lips he can practically taste your blood again. Your uttering his name over and over so breathlessly as he pounds you. The wet slap of skin against skin and heavy breathing is all that’s filling your ears. Your blood is pumping hard and body is going tense.

God he can’t stand it! He’s held back long enough! You go stiff and cry out. His teeth had buried back into your skin. His fangs sinking back into the marks they had made once before. Your blood floods his mouth. It’s so damn good! Your reaction only makes him want to do it more. Your inner walls contract around his cock and a flood of wetness dribbles out of you. It runs down his balls and thighs. It smells just as sweet as the rest of you does. It compliments your blood perfectly. Like cherry wine and creamy pastries. Rich and sweet mixed together in a perfect dessert.

It feels tingly. Your body is getting so overwhelmed with so many different sensations it doesn’t know what to process. The monster fucking you is doing a damn good job of it. His cock is slamming inside of you at the right pressure and pace. Finger tips are digging into your back and hip. Eventually that hand does move up to grip a fistful of hair. His breathing is hard and fast against your neck. His teeth are inside of your flesh and it feels so good! Quiet moans emanates from his throat between gulps.

Jiraiya retracts his teeth just to switch your position. You are on your elbows and knees. He stays on his knees behind you. He grabs your hips and returns to fucking you. He didn’t stay up straight for long. Soon Jiraiya was back leaning over you. His chest against your shoulders. His tongue lapping over the bite mark on your neck. He lightly bites your ear.

“You! Are! Amazing” He spoke in between gasps.

“You are too!” You practically yell at him. You were too excited to control yourself.

He lapped at your bleeding neck. He licks up the beads of blood before they can fall. Then inserted his teeth back in. It forced a shudder down your spine this time. It felt so strange. The wound is reopen and there. His teeth slid back in with no resistance. There’s no sucking sensation this time. Jiraiya has simply just bit you and didn’t plan on releasing you. It must feel good for him too. The bit of blood that is running into his mouth is satisfying enough for now.

A head rush hits you. Another orgasm had made you shaky. Your vision blurs. You are still being pounded at a blinding pace. It still feels amazing. It’s almost overwhelming. It’s so good it almost hurts. Tears could prick your eyes from the frustration knowing that it has to end. Blood is seeping past the seal of Jiraiya’s lips. It’s running down to your boob and arm.

“Hn!” You grunt.

You sink down until you are bowing. Your forehead against the bed. Your whole body rocking with the motions of the thrusts. Your strength is leaving you. You are lost in the lust and weak from this. The mix of the sex and lose of blood is beginning to take its toll. Jiraiya fought to stay attached to your neck. The new angle is hard to stay latched. He didn’t want to stop. Your blood... so tasty.

Two hands grab your breasts. Jiraiya lifted you back up. He forced you up into a sitting position. He guided the pace by playing with your chest. He pulls on them up and down to force you to follow. With your shaky legs, you can only follow at a lack lustre imitation.

Finally, those fangs detach from your neck. Jiraiya raises his hand to caress your cheek. He’s bucking his hips wildly to keep up the tempo. Your ass is smacking hard against his thighs as he takes you on a ride. He’s panting but it’s hard to keep breathing. He turns your head to the side. Exposing the opposite side of the bite mark to plain unmarked skin. He puts sloppy kiss on your neck in between heavy breathing.

“Ah!” You wail when he bites your neck again.

Jiraiya halts his thrusts. You are raised on your knees as he’s raised as well. He stays completely inside of you. His hips roll instead. You grip his arms as he stalls. You are teetering on the edge. Your mouth hanging open. Stomach muscles tight. Legs tense. All of you is clenched as your body expects to be pushed over the edge.

He bites you again. His mouth moved down to your shoulder. He bites down your arm to your bicep. Blood trails down from the small wounds. Each one sent waves of pleasure through you. The pain sparks something inside of you. You just want more. It gives your body something else to focus on for a moment before the pleasure returns tenfold. He does the same bite pattern down your other arm. His other hand released your tit to play with your clit instead. On the last bite to your arm, he really digs in while bucking his hips in a shallow quick beat. He’s grinding his teeth as he does so, as if you are a bit of chewy meat.

“Jiraiya...” You moan quietly.

Your head lulls back to rest on his shoulder. Jiraiya makes a muffled noise in response. It could be your name on his occupied lips but it’s hard to say. His hips push in one last time. He bit down as hard as he could. The rush of pain was enough. You finish for a final time. A flood of something fills you a moment later. Jiraiya had finished as well.

For a while neither you or him move. As if the movement will kill the climax. Your sex is throbbing from the beating it took. It’s hot and sweaty. Blood is running down your chest and arms. You had your breath held. Your lover is just as tense as you are. His body rigid. His jaw locked with his teeth still biting you. His hips pushed forward to the point of strained shaking. A mix of yours and his fluids are trailing down onto his thighs.

Slowly, exhales of relaxation and relief finally sound in the room. Jiraiya sinks down to sitting. You relax with him. As soon as you do, you feel like jello. You slump against him. Your body is quivering.

Knowing you are too weak, Jiraiya sets you down onto your side. The covers are laid over top of you. He lays down beside you. He watches you. You look exhausted. Panting heavily and limp like you have been running for days. Your wounds aren’t bleeding too badly. Just small trails decorating your skin along with the pattern of his teeth. His fangs are the deepest points. You look good with his bites on your skin. All down your arms to your elbows. Your shoulders and neck red and imprinted like a morbid piece of art. You look at him with tired eyes.

“Will you stay?” You ask.

“Yeah... I’ll stay.”

You smile. He returns it. Although, his is a little grim with your blood all over his lips. You don’t know why you like Jiraiya so much. In the short time you’ve known him, he’s been nothing but kind... sorta. He is killing you slowly after all. He’s not exactly a human. But his demeanour is so friendly. He has this strange way about him like he understands everything in the world.

“What are you?” You can’t help but ask.

“I thought it was pretty obvious.” Jiraiya spoke and looked at you with a frown. “Tenma. Kyūketsuki. Shiki. Take your pick on the title.”

A devil. A demon. A bloodsucker. Undead monster. They all fit. But he doesn’t radiate evil or anything. He looks more like he’s simply dealing with the fact that he lives this life.

“Were you a human once?”

He nods. He looks down to the sheets as he recalls that time. When his body aged and his friends lived. When the sun didn’t burn like the fires of hell and he could bask in its warmth. When things were normal...

You watch his face. His expression had fallen. Jiraiya stares sadly at his hand as he mentally recalls his past. He didn’t say a word about it. Despite how heavy your arms feel and how they pulse in pain, you reach out. You rest your hand over his. A small faint smile did twitch at the corner of his lips when you did that. He holds your hand.

“How long have you been like this?” You ask something different instead.

“Close to a hundred years.”

You pause and look him over. His face, which was still hard to put a definitive age on. His body, which is just beautiful. He’s got the physique of a god. With old battle wounds that tell stories of hardships and trials. He’s got a few bite marks of his own. On his forearms and calves it looks like he’s had a few sharped toothed kin take a chunk out of him. He just didn’t look like he’s endured so much.

“How old were you?”

“Twenty seven.” He smirks and pushes his bangs away from his face. “The only good thing about being a monster is having the advantage of never aging. I haven’t changed since I was bitten.”

He crawled towards you until he was on top. He nuzzled his face against your neck. The scent of your blood is still driving him crazy. He holds your face and licks some of the little trails of blood. He kisses the tender spots. You sigh. The attention is nice. Gentle and loving after what he did to you. You put your arms around him. This is pleasant. This you could do for a long time. No man before him has ever made you feel so valued.

“I’m tired.” You sigh.

“Then sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

You shut your eyes. Jiraiya put his arms under your back. Your body is cool now. It already lacks the warmth of life. Not that he minds that much. He’s the one that’s turning you cold. You are asleep in seconds. He settled down as well. For the sun is beginning to rise...

Next you wake it’s dusk again. There’s still a man holding you. That intense hunger hit again. Jiraiya was nice enough to grab you something. You look terrible. Sickly and emaciated from blood loss. He’s stolen a lot of your nutrients. You can’t even stand. At this point it’s just cruel. He’s prolonging your suffering. But he still went out and bought you food and drinks to help replenish some of your blood loss. He didn’t want you to die just yet.

“Did you want me to get you someone?” He asked. “A doctor?”

“No. It’s fine. What can they do?” You say with a shake of your head. “You’ll only come back right? I’m fine with this.”

You don’t want anyone to see you like this. It’s best to just sap every bit of enjoyment out of this before it kills you. After eating more rare meats, you reach towards him and smile. You feel stronger. Strong enough for this.

Jiraiya hesitates for a moment. He hates that he’s doing this, but it’s too good to stop. You are like a drug he just can’t quit. He gave in and his lips collided with yours. He did his best to try and make you feel amazing. His teeth had marked your body all over the place. Breasts. Wrists. Thighs. His teeth marks are everywhere. You were fully indulging in him. He fucked you hard every night. It’s the greatest feeling in the world. 

You held on for as long as possible. For him or for you, you aren’t sure. But spending time with him made you happy. You lasted three more days. On the dusk of the third day, you can see how remorseful Jiraiya is. He’s quiet and apologetic. The last few times he’s bit you, he’s apologized before going in to drink. He hadn’t bit you yet. He’s laying beside you staring at you. He plays with your brittle hair and strokes your cold body.

“It’s alright. We both know how this would end.” You offer him some comfort.

“It’s never ended like this. Not for me.” Jiraiya sighs. He pulls you against him, he does so carefully. The wrong tug could break your fragile bones. “I... don’t... I don’t like that I feel something for you. I’ve never felt something for a person I feed from. But you I just want forever.”

“Can’t you change me? Or is that just a myth?”

“It’s not by choice.” He explained. His fingers stroke up your spine. “Either you change or not after death. I don’t know what triggers it.”

His face pressed against your neck. It’s covered in bruises and bite marks. They don’t heal. Your body doesn’t have the power to anymore.

It’s weirdly cruel. To develop a fascination and love for a human. He’s basically fallen for his food. It’s like a snake who has forged a friendship with a mouse. What’s the point if the snake gets hungry enough? It all ends in tragedy. There’s no guarantee you’ll change. None of his victims ever have. He’s tried with several people he’s loved. He was changed after being bitten only once. He tried biting his friends and loved ones several times before the brink of death. He wanted them to live with him forever. But death claimed them no matter how he tried to stop it. His selfishness leaving them to suffer a little bit longer than what was necessary. Here he is doing it again.

“Then just end it. Why prolong the inevitable?” You whisper. You can use your weak bony fingers to push his head closer. His lips press against your skin. “It’s easier to let go when it’s done quickly.”

You’ve accepted this fate the moment he bit you the first time. It’s not so bad, is it? At least you had fun. Lots of fun. You learned a lot about this creature. This man is sweet and kind despite his nature to kill. Even if you have developed certain feels for him, it seems it shall end in tragedy. Your lover sighs. He places gentle kisses on the wounds he caused.

“Ah...” You can’t help but call out.

That sharp pleasurable pain takes you again. Jiraiya has sunk his teeth back inside of you. He reopened the oldest wound on your body. The first bite he ever gave youwas going to be his last. His body rolls with pleasure. Usually he’s inside of you when he does this. He associates it with an intense pleasure that he knows he won’t be able to find again. His hips swivel ever so slightly with the memory of what it was like. He didn’t want to do that to you while you were so weak. He’d for sure break you.

You shut your eyes. You can no longer hold them open. Even now it’s blissful. It fills your brain with sparks of joy. It never felt so good to die young. You utter his name one last time. Then your heart gives out. It stops beating and you perish.

You perish content. It may not have been an exceptionally long or fun life, but the last week of it was worth all the dragging days you lived through. The monster who claimed it kisses you one last time before you officially fall into oblivion.

....

..

...

....... It’s cold.

It’s dark...

You open your eyes. You are staring at your ceiling. It’s the dead of night. It must be. It’s not as dark as you remember night being. It’s almost as bright as day. Like a day with heavy overcast rather than complete stumble in the black darkness. Everything has a sublime crisp detail to it. You can see the small impressions of fingerprints on your ceiling from when it was painted, a detail you never noticed before. 

Your throat is dry. It’s like you’ve been eating sand. That craving for blood is still there. Like when all you wanted was red meat for the last few days. It’s similar but more intense. Like you could suck dry a whole cow. Or maybe something else more... biped.

“You’re awake.”

You look to the side to see a shape in the darkness. His voice familiar and welcoming. His eyes ever so ominous and glinting in the shadows of the night. His hand emerges as he outstretched it. The moonlight peaking through the curtain frames his fingers.

Just in case. On the slim chance Jiraiya did make you a newborn, he didn’t want to leave. It would have condemned your village to a bloody end. The thirst is very intense the first month. Your body is still recovering from when he fed from it. At least his hunch was right. He finally made one. What finally made it happen will always be a mystery. Was it the multiple bites?

Whatever caused it he didn’t really care. It brought him you. You came back to life. An undead as he is. That attraction and need to be near you wasn’t just for nothing. That weird attachment led to this. Excitement fills the older man as he’s finally got someone to be with. This life won’t be so lonely with a pretty girl around. One who he can pass and share his knowledge of how to thrive as a creature of the night. There’s things you haven’t seen yet. Your body is now capable of so many incredible physical feats. Soon you’ll be clearing fields in single bounds and diving into waters without a need for air. You’ll be strong enough for full nights of rough rambunctious sex. Where you can bite him and top him. Or try to. He likes being dominant.

The way you’re looking at him is a sorta puppy dog like. Your expression surprised but gleeful. Eyes wide and curious. You stand, but fall back to your butt on the mattress. You are still a little light headed. Your body isn’t sure how to function at the moment. It’s as if your brain is rewiring and remembering how limbs work.

“You’ll feel like that for a while.” Jiraiya offered a bit of comfort. He didn’t feel right until his third person. It was then he learned the trick to let his food recuperate for a day before returning. He could get so much more from this method and take less lives in the process. You won’t have this restraint for a while. He’ll teach you it. 

You tried again. You stumble to him and grab his hand. He pulled you close. You look brilliant as one of his kind now. As elegant and pure as the moon. Your best features shining through and complimenting your moon glinted eyes. They catch and refract the light as his do.

“You must be hungry.” He spoke again.

You nod. He runs his hand over your cheek. You lean into it happily. There’s much to learn, isn’t there? Now you can explore the world. There’s not time limit or simple fears to hold you back. There’s also the rules and ways of being a creature like this. At least you have a good teacher. Jiraiya looks ready and excited to share his secrets with you. It’ll be interesting to live this life with him. Eternal and nocturnal. You can keep up with him, can’t you?

You will. All you need is his guidance.

“What do we do first?” You ask.

A sharped tooth grin grows on Jiraiya’s face.

“We feed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I like fused a lot of different vampire lore/myths. I took some inspiration from some more popular forms of media that vampires feature in. Also my own lil obsession. I always loved the idea of like an advanced human like monster that had night vision similar to how nocturnal predators have those spooky glowing eyes as the smallest bit of light will catch in their pupils and reflect it to keep their vision crystal clear in any environment. It’s more unsettling then the blood red eyes thing imo.


	45. After Two Years Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From the day you give birth and the year that follows. It’s so strange how time flies. It turned out to be the best year ever. With a husband, child, and plenty of people to share the joy with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished it! I went back and forth like several times on what to write hence why it took 5ever to post. Finally I managed to get a chapter out I’m proud of! Hopefully y’all are happy with it too!

You took a small taste of the food you were making. It was one of Jiraiya’s favourites, karaage fried chicken. It tasted good! You’re becoming good at cooking the dishes your husband likes. You burnt the first few pieces as you aren’t familiar with the technique of frying. The pains squeezing your sides were distracting. You’ve had to stop and brace yourself as the contractions were intense enough to make to freeze until they passed. You gripped the countertop and breathed through it.

Currently, you are home alone. Jiraiya was out with Naruto at the training grounds. They invited Kakashi to come to dinner tonight. They’ve let down their guard around the masked man enough to let him in the house. Your boys were crazy protective about you. You expected them to compete for your attention like they always did, but they actually came to a truce when you got pregnant. They worked together to help you and accompanied you to every appointment. They didn’t let you go outside alone. It was weird to be doted on so much.

Kakashi was a sane presence to be around. Since both Jiraiya and Naruto were a little on the crazy side towards you, it was nice to talk to one man who responded reasonably rather than cause a scene. He was coming for dinner tonight so at least you’ll have a normal conversation with someone. It all came from a place of slightly misguided love, so you deal with it. Those goofs will calm down when the baby comes. Which was soon! You are a week away from your due date.

The pregnancy itself has been weird. You got hit with wild cravings, like chocolate peanut butter with very vinegary pickles. It was strange, but no one really questioned it. If anything it was the only time Jiraiya and Naruto got competitive as they both fought to get you anything you wanted. You also got rather emotional which is what triggered your family to be so protective. You cried at the drop of a hat and you couldn’t get a grip on yourself. At least you had a very loving husband to comfort you and a protective nephew that would beat up the air if that’s what upset you. It’ll be over soon with the best result ever at the end.

The front door opened. You inhale deeply and shake off the contraction. You began to waddle to the foyer. It takes longer for you to get around with such a large belly.

“Auntie! We’re home!” Naruto shouted.

“Welcome home!” You sigh out the greeting, already out of breath from the short journey. The baby was so big they were squished against your lungs.

Jiraiya grinned at the sight of you. You look pretty damn fine. You even got that flattering pregnant lady glow to accompany the big pregnant belly. Not much longer until baby is here and he’s incredibly excited for it. He cut training early today since he wanted to get home faster. He didn’t like being away for long when you are so close to popping. He stood in front of you and put his arms around you. You smile and return the hug. His hand slid down to stroke your belly. He felt a hard kick from within you. Baby has been getting pretty restless as of late. You cringe right after with another pain.

“What’s wrong?” Jiraiya asked. He looks you up and down with a small frown.

“Nothing.” You shake your head. But your body likes to prove you wrong and your legs almost give out with this next contraction. You cling onto him and yelp in pain.

You are forced down the little step into the entryway. You resist and insist you are fine.

“Babe, you are really not fine.” Jiraiya disagreed. “Let’s go to the hospital.”

“No! I’m fine! It’s probably just more false labour pains! Gah!” You shriek when something wet falls out of you. Your pants are soaked along the inseam and clear liquid splashes at your feet.

Everyone looks down to stare at it for a moment. You raise your head and your eyes meet Jiraiya’s. Panic shone in his large eyes. They were the size of dinner plates as he put it together the same time you did. Your water just broke. You are in the later stages of labour. You look around to your guests. Naruto looks a little traumatized. The colour has drained from his face as he stares at your feet where the puddle was. The one visible brow Kakashi had showing was almost hitting the ceiling. He looked you up and down with worry. There was just a general vibe among the three men that just said ‘oh shit’.

“Baby!” Your husband suddenly stated loudly. He sweeps you off of your feet and turns towards the door. “You’re having the baby!”

“Wait!” You cry out. You point towards the kitchen. “The burner is still on! Dinner is ready!”

“Is that what you are thinking about right now?!”

“Yes! I don’t want the house to burn down!”

“It can burn down if it wants you’re having my baby!”

“Jiraiya!”

Jiraiya skidded to a halt just outside of the house. Naruto bashed into his back from the sudden stop and hit the ground. He looked down at his nephew with a frown before focusing on Kakashi, who was still in the doorway.

“Turn the food off and watch the house! We’ll be back in a few days!” He commands.

“What? Lord Jiraiya I-!” Kakashi tried to object but couldn’t as Jiraiya was already booking it to the hospital. With Naruto hot on his heels.

You made it to the hospital just in time!

You were checked in and taken directly to the delivery room. It was all a blur as it went by so quickly. All your brain was really registering was the pain. That and Jiraiya being next to you the whole time. You probably broke a finger or two of his you held onto his hand so tightly. He didn’t mind. He’s just happy to be there for you and honestly thrilled you didn’t give birth in the entry way of the house. His free hand stroked your hair and he never stopped encouraging you with sweet words. You were delirious and didn’t even know how long you were in labour for. You just kept pushing through until the sounds of newborn cries filled the room. You relaxed after hearing that beautiful noise.

“Congratulations! It’s a girl!” The doctor announced.

Despite how tired you are, you find the strength to smile. You watch as the doctor and the nurses checked over your baby’s health and cleaned her. Your gown was in the way of seeing what was happening between your legs, which was a blessing at this point. All the unsightly things of childbirth were being cleaned up while you were distracted by your baby. She was set in your arms swaddled in a pink cloth.

“She’s here!” Jiraiya spoke quietly. His cheek was against the side of your head. His hand was helping support your arms as you held your new baby girl. “She’s beautiful...”

She really is. She’s still pink, but that’ll go away soon into a natural tone close to her daddy’s skin. Her cries died down and her little face stopped being scrunched up. Her eyes opened for the first time. They are black like Jiraiya’s are. They look at you curiously as she tried to figure out what just happened to her and who was holding her. She’s got little soft sprigs of dark red hair, so she took after you in that regard.

“Do we have a name?” A nurse asked. She was smiling and holding a clipboard that had your baby’s information on it.

You share a look with Jiraiya. You and him had come up with a list of names that was slowly dwindled down to one choice for your’s and his little girl. You smile and nod. He smiles in return before speaking.

“Ayaka.” He answered the nurse, but didn’t look away from his daughter. He gently dragged his finger over her cheek. Her skin is so soft. “Ayaka Uzumaki.”

He looks at you again. You are smiling up at him, both exhausted and happy. He closes the distance and gives you a kiss.

You were moved into your own room in the maternity ward to recover. You spent plenty of time bonding with Ayaka before giving in and sleeping. Jiraiya got his turn after you went to bed. He stood in the room and held Ayaka while you recovered. She slept soundly in his arms while he stared at her. It was magical to hold his baby. Just like an hour ago, she was still just hanging out inside of you. Now he’s holding her and naturally swaying from side to side to rock her. All while his eyes didn’t dare to look away from her. It was similar to disbelief. He was overwhelmed with all these emotions, but it never felt better. He was a mix of being wired to go for days from the high this all brought, but could also collapse and be out for the same amount of time from going through every range of emotion in that short amount of time.

Eventually he agreed to have her in the nursery with all the other babies in the ward. There was plenty of them and it might be good for his daughter to be with other kids. He ran to the waiting room to see how Naruto was doing. Naruto was too invested to leave. He had to make sure everything was okay before he could even consider the idea of leaving. Relief instantly washed over the boy’s face when Jiraiya rounded the corner.

“How is everything?” Naruto was very worried. He kept glancing to the door where you had disappeared behind like hours ago.

“Fine. More than fine.” Jiraiya told him calmly.

“And auntie? She’s okay?”

“Yes. Just resting.”

“And the baby?” Naruto was rising on his toes as he anticipated the answer.

Jiraiya leaned back slightly as it looked like his nephew was going to kiss him. He raised a brow before answering. “She’s great. She’s in the nursery if you want to see her.”

“How’d you get her home so fast?”

“Uh.” He smirked. “No, not the nursery at home. The one that’s here.”

“Oh! That makes way more sense!” Naruto sheepishly scratched at the back back of his head. “I was wondering how you got the baby home so quickly but left auntie.”

Jiraiya just rolled his eyes before motioning towards the hall. It seems his nephew is a little too tired to think straight. Naruto ran ahead of Jiraiya to the nursery. There’s a big window for people to gawk at and coo at the newborns. Nurses were patrolling the cribs to check on the littlest villagers. Naruto was practically dancing when he saw his little cousin. She was in her crib with a gender neutral onesie and beanie the hospital provided. She’s sleeping peacefully. The other babies crying didn’t seem to bother her.

He’s thrilled to have a sibling. Ayaka feels more like a sister than a cousin. Naruto is already envisioning all the things he can teach her. What they’ll do together. Chasing her around the parks and teaching her pranks. Maybe even having a hand in her training. He’ll be your age when Ayaka is around twelve. He’ll be higher rank or something by then! Enough to at least teach his family how to be cool like him...

None of this would have been possible without Jiraiya. You’re happy. You’re doing what you want to do and it’s all because of this man. It must be what soulmates do.

“Hey, Pervy Sage?” Naruto spoke after a moment of silence.

“What’s up, kid?” Jiraiya turned his attention away from his baby to his student.

“I never got to say... I’m glad you’re my family.”

The older man smiles. He puts his hand on his nephew’s hair and ruffled it. From now on, they’ll no longer fight. Not over you anyways.

The majority of the hospital visit was spent looking after you and watching the baby in the nursery. Quite surprisingly, lots of people came to offer some congratulations. Jiraiya ran interference outside your room. You were sleepy and incredibly emotional. He didn’t want you to get upset or overwhelmed. He accepted their well wishes and cards on the behalf of his whole family. Someone even sent flowers, but it didn’t have a name of sender attached to the letter of congratulations. You were busy learning how to feed Ayaka, you don’t need distractions. He did at least put the cards and flowers in the room to keep the givers satisfied. You didn’t even notice. You had a baby to stare at.

The door opened and your husband waltzed back in. He had finished speaking with Naruto about something and got the lad to finally go home. It’s very sweet that your nephew wanted to stay to support you, but he’s been sleeping on the waiting room chairs and bothering hospital staff with too many questions. He grinned at you and gave you a kiss. He then put a very soft kiss on Ayaka’s head. She’s very squishy and delicate to him. He’s absolutely in love with her.

“Can I hold her?” He asks you.

“Yeah... she’s just finishing up.” You answer.

Just as you said that, Ayaka unlatched from you and began to make some noises of discomfort. Jiraiya took her, already having a cloth laid over his shoulder. He laid her with her face on his shoulder and he rubbed her back. He’s far from a baby expert, but he knows she needs to be comforted like this after a feeding. She looks so small in his arms... It’s hard to believe you were so big whilst pregnant when she’s so tiny.

Gentle knocking got your attention. To your surprise, it was Tsunade. Her presence has been very scarce in your life as of late. It’s not like you were buddies, but Naruto likes her so you tried to get to know her. She’s also your husband’s best friend, you just expected to get to know her. You only saw her once when you were pregnant. She oversaw a check up Sakura was performing on you to make sure the girl was doing it correctly. She didn’t even say two words to you. But she’s the Hokage after all. She probably had a lot on her mind.

“I just came to see how you’re doing.” She clarified. “You can be discharged today if everything checks out.”

“Sounds good.” You sigh. You miss your own bed.

Tsunade looked at Jiraiya expectingly. He raised a brow.

“What? I can’t be in the same room as her? I have seen her naked before.” Jiraiya argued.

“Hospital policy. You know that.”

He scowls and reluctantly leaves. At least he had a baby to keep him occupied. You sit up more in your bed and pay attention to the medical expert in front of you. It felt a little special to have the Hokage herself for your check up. Either she had nothing better to do or your husband asked in a favour. Again she was pretty quiet as she took your vitals. Her expression unreadable as she went about the normal routine.

“Do you not like me?” Your mouth blurts out the words before your mind can filter it.

Tsunade looks up from the monitor that was reading your heart health. It was through a little clip on your finger that you can’t wait to have off of you. It feels awful as it’s been pinching your skin for like three hours. She unclipped it and turned off the machine.

“I like you just fine.” She answered you.

“It doesn’t seem like you do.”

She sighs and stops her work. She looks at you full on and with a serious expression. Her eyes hard and lips in a straight line.

“I think you’re a good match for Jiraiya. I’m happy he found someone.” Tsunade pauses. You are staring at her unconvinced. She does manage a smile. “I... guess you two remind me of when I was married. My husband he... he died before we got to do the things like this.” Her expression finally became readable as her gaze looks a little shined with unshed tears. “It’s nice... seeing Jiraiya so happy.”

You shrink in your bed a little. You didn’t mean to pry up such pain. You remain quiet. Tsunade wraps up your physical with the determination that you are good to go. You put your clothes on. It feels nice to wear your own things again rather than that gown.

“Thank you.” You break the silence. You offer her a smile. “I really appreciate... you.”

Tsunade just nods. She understands. She really helped shape who Jiraiya is as a person. He hung out with her for most of his life. They are still close. In fact he most certainly asked her personally to check you. If there was even a microscopic sized problem with you, she’d find it. Your diagnosis was the simple cure all of rest and relaxation. Your body will recover naturally. Since you are an Uzumaki, it’ll probably heal quicker.

“I hope we can talk more.” You tell her. “It would mean a lot to Jiraiya if we got along.”

“Perhaps... later.” Tsunade somewhat agreed.

That was satisfactory. Perhaps later indeed. When life wasn’t so busy with babies and leading. She did look more comfortable around you now. You leave with her and part ways in the hall with a few words of goodbye. You meet Jiraiya in the hall holding your signed discharge papers to hand in to reception. He gives you a kiss before excitedly showing you how good he’s doing with Ayaka. She’s cradled in his arms snoozing.

After a small discussion with your over protective partner, an agreement was made. You are to hold Ayaka while Jiraiya hauls back the stuff. The stuff being a basket of goodies to help parents make it through the first few days of home life with some supplies. He wanted to carry you as he’s convinced you have a crippling battle wound or something. Yes, you are sore, stiff, and a few weird places are so swollen you can’t sit down in a regular chair, but you’ll live.

The house was immaculate. Clean on every surface. The dinner that was abandoned a day ago was cleaned and put in the fridge. No one was there either. For once, the laid back Kakashi did some hard work. He tidied up and hit the road. Which is honestly the perfect gift. What’s better than coming home to a clean house with no one to encroach on your growing family? It’s the perfect way to introduce Ayaka to her home.

You get her clean, changed, and fed before setting her down for a nap. Which after, Jiraiya just held your hand and lead you to the small bed against the wall in the nursery. It’s meant for a growing kid and it was now decorated in soft pink sheets and pillows, but it’s good enough. He’s a big man that’s too tall for the frame. He is also too tired to care how it forced him to contort to the size or hang off the edge. You lay over top of him without anymore room to be beside him and pass out.

That was the calmest day of parenthood. Ayaka is a baby after all. She requires plenty of attention. Surprisingly, Jiraiya was the jumpy one. He’s been as graceful as a drunk deer. The quietest coo of his baby will spring him into action. He’d leap from the couch or bed like he was all limb and the floor was made of oil. He stumbles about to scramble to the nursery. She’s doing just fine of course. He’s just new to this. He’ll calm down once he gets a grip on things.

It’s exhausting to say the least. You have a jumpy husband and little baby to worry about. Jiraiya is trying his best. He loves his little girl to bits. He just worries too much. He wakes up occasionally in the middle of the night with a startled inhale. He leaves to check on Ayaka then you feel him brush your hair out of the way and check your pulse. You are a heavier sleeper, but it’s not like you’re totally dead to the world. So you know each time he checks. You usually roll over and snuggle into him to calm him down. His heartbeat is quick for the first few seconds, but it settles down with you to hold.

There’s also the problem with changing. You usually stand next to your dearest as he struggles to find the tabs on the diapers that secure it to Ayaka’s bum. The one time you left him to go buy stuff at the store, you came home to see your baby duct taped into her diaper and your husband sheepishly explaining how he couldn’t do it properly. He needs some lessons. Even with Naruto he struggled with this. It’s been almost seventeen years, he really doesn’t remember how to do this. He takes too long and half the time the baby powder is all over the room like snow from over shaking the container. Last time she peed on him. Which was pretty funny. Jiraiya just sat there with a frown as his baby had a wee. He looked at you, wondering what he should do to remedy this. He’s tired and slowly coming to his wits end. The quiet plea grew when she started to make the beginnings of cries of hunger.

“I got her. You go shower and change.” You waved him away with a smile and kiss.

“Why are you so good at this?” Jiraiya sighed.

You picked up Ayaka and with a few rocks had her settled down. It was then Jiraiya realized he’s not very good at this. He can’t comfort her like you can. Or change her. He’s managed to feed her once, but she spat out the rubber nippy and began to cry. He couldn’t get her to stop and you had to swoop in like the super mom you are. He just lacked that deeper bond with her.

“I’ve raised a baby before. You haven’t.” You say. You pat his arm in comfort and reassurance. “You’ll get the hang of this. It just takes time.”

You were bad at comforting a baby the first time you raised one. It’s hard to nurture someone. It’s a learning curve that’s hard to master. Jiraiya didn’t look so convinced. There’s some guilt in there too. Like he’d be a better father if he didn’t leave you to raise a baby alone. He won’t do that this time. It’s just a shame he didn’t do more for you back then. He left mostly all of that stuff to you since he figured he would never want kids.

He sighed softly and decided to stop beating himself up over this. He’s a father now. He just needs to learn. He poked and stroked Ayaka’s cheek as she fed. He watches her quietly, just enjoying the sight of her. She’s sitting still in your arms as she focuses on eating.He put a kiss on her forehead. He loves her so much and he didn’t know how to express it to her.

It took some time to figure out, but at the suggestion of Tsunade at the follow up check up on your’s and the baby’s health, Jiraiya should just hang out with Ayaka against his chest. Skin time as she called it, was important to establish that bond. It really helped. It was cute too.

Every time Ayaka wasn’t in her crib, she was with her father. This wee little baby on the bare chest of this giant man. She seemed to prefer it. She’d coo and shift sometimes, but settled down for a nap with her cheek rested against Jiraiya’s chest. He’d be napping too. At least one hand would be on her back while he slept with her on the couch. They seem to chill each other out. She didn’t fuss so much with him to nap on. He was perfectly content to be with her. It felt like he was protecting her. Nothing could tear his baby away from him as she rested so peacefully on his body. It wasn’t a bad sight to see him shirtless all the time too. It’s like she softened up all the scars that wrapped his body.

“You should take your shirt off too!” Jiraiya joked. He looked you over with a big grin. “You’re stretching them all out anyways with your boobs!”

You raised a brow. Jiraiya wasn’t subtle about his love for your mom bod. While he will love you in any form you take, he liked this change in your body. You gained a few cup sizes, which he loved. He came up from behind and held them each time you took your bra off. He didn’t squeeze or massage them like he usually does out of fear you might leak or something. They are incredibly sensitive anyways. The one time he did honk them it felt like he stabbed you. He also once put his hand down there to offer you some relief while showering together about week after you gave birth and he paused when you gasped. Not a sexy aroused gasp, but one of surprise. That whole area was still healing so the sensation was just odd. Jiraiya has since retracted from trying. He’s very gentle in handling you... for now that is. Once your body recovers he plans on doing very naughty things to you.

“I look forward to it.” You say quietly.

Jiraiya smiles and leaned down to give you a kiss. You return it happily. He had to leave to go meet up with Naruto to oversee some training. He’s comfortable with leaving for a long time now. No one has really seen your little family since it became a family of three. Which everyone seemed to understand. New parents need some space to adjust to the life. Occasionally he’d leave to gather some groceries. Then he’d quickly return with armfuls of bags, scurrying quickly inside to avoid people. It’s been three months. Life has a better routine now. It was fine to leave for a while.

You decided to leave too. It was time to show Ayaka off a little. She hasn’t seen her big cousin since she was born. Your husband is reluctant to let you join him. It’s as if he’s convinced the village is out for his family. Your skin is pretty thick from close to seventeen years of ridicule. Then again, when you were pregnant you couldn’t even handle a sassy comment from Jiraiya without bursting into tears. He’s still just a worrier. You can conduct yourself without crying over nothing now.

You walk beside him holding your baby. Jiraiya kept his hand on your lower back. His gaze lowered down frequently to look over his child. She’s cooing and her little hand had escaped the swaddle you had her in. She yawned and stretched, forcing her foot to then pop out. You try and adjust her as you walk. She’s gotten pretty wiggly. With each month she got stronger. She didn’t like tight swaddles. She liked to sprawl out.

Her features are still hard to determine who she’ll look more like. You are convinced Ayaka will be a prettier version of her father. Only she’ll have your hair. She has quite a lot of it for a three month old. It’s a dark red like yours. It’s already a few inches long.

Honestly, if she knows what’s good for her, she’ll take after you entirely. Jiraiya occasionally says that his daughter will benefit more from being like her mother. You are certainly the eye candy of this relationship and she’d be better off being like you. That won’t be entirely possible since she has those black coloured eyes. Like coal... You say it’s more like obsidian.

A few people have casted some obvious glances to you and Ayaka. Thankfully, you are blissfully distracted by fixing her sock which was falling off her foot. They don’t look all that approving. Jiraiya’s response was to meet their staring evenly and scowl. No one will ever antagonize you or his baby. Not if they don’t wanna get hurt. Perhaps even eaten by a toad. No one really wants to confront you anymore. Not with Jiraiya around. Lots of people like Naruto now since he’s proven himself. But there’s always that bit of resentment towards you still. It feels like it will always be there. No matter what you do, you’ll always be a social pariah. You have people who love you, so it’s not really a bother anymore.

The plan was to get some take out for the team. It’s close to noon and those kids are for sure hungry. Since ramen was Naruto’s favourite, you decide that’s the best thing to get for them. There was only a few people ahead of your family in line. You look around out of boredom. There’s a convenience store down the street.

“I’ll go get some drinks.” You say.

That tuned Jiraiya back in from his staring at the menu. He disagreed with you going alone. He immediately argued that it’s not safe for you to go alone. You cock a brow at him and smirk.

“I can handle carrying a baby and buying a few drinks. I used to do full grocery runs with a baby, you know.” You dismiss him with a casual wave. “By the time I get back, the food will be done.”

“... Okay.” Jiraiya sighed out the word.

He watched you go with a growing anxiety he just can’t shake. It is irrational. You are more than capable. He just wants to keep you in a bubble where no one can hurt you anymore. The kind older man who ran the stall took his attention away from watching you head inside the store.

“I got a big to go order for ya.” He tried to be positive and forget his fears.

You strap your baby to your chest. Ayaka is cradled comfortably with your clothing over top that kept her mostly hidden. Her cheek and ear was poking out from your kimono, but seemed to be content to take a nap while you shop. She’s a pretty chill baby. You carry a basket and fill it with some drinks. A few snacks as well. You wait in line, minding your own business.

Someone called your name from behind. You turn around curiously. Oh! It’s Hakota. He hasn’t changed since you last saw him. He’s smiling at you.

“Long time no see.” He greeted you.

“Yeah no kidding.” You force a chuckle. Some nerves are getting at you seeing him again.“You look good.”

“Thanks. You do too.”

It gets quiet and awkward. You sigh. It’s not like you can avoid it. You do still feel bad for how you broke up with him.

“Sorry. For what happened.” You tell him.

“It’s alright. I’m doing just fine. I got a girlfriend now.”

“Good for you!”

He looked down and smiled. He pointed to Ayaka and asked about her. You are happy to talk about your baby all day. He was happy to listen to you. You pulled back the folds of your top to show him her face. She’s still asleep and you didn’t want to wake her up. She gets rather grumpy when awoken from her nap. You chatted with your ex happily. Catching up with him was actually kinda nice. It was closure. He was over you and you are over him. You learned a bit about his new partner, who sounded just perfect for him. There was no beef or hurt feelings. You had your purchases together and waited for him to keep chatting. You walk out the door and almost walk into someone. You look up to see your husband.

“Hey honey!” You greet happily.

“Hi.” Jiraiya was not as excited.

He looked at Hokota with a small frown. You don’t look upset so... cool. He trusts you but he didn’t trust this man. He leaned down and gave you a kiss and as habit he gave a kiss to Ayaka’s fluffy head right after. He looks over at your ex. It’s weird to still feel jealous. He won you. He married you. You had his baby. It’s safe to say there’s no reason to feel that fire in his stomach like he ought to fight for you. But his hackles are raised all the same.

“Let’s go before the food gets cold.” You say.

“Right.”

“Bye Hokota!”

Your ex, now friend, waved at you when you waved at him. If Jiraiya didn’t have handfuls of food, he would have done something dirty to you. Since you have a baby on your chest, your ass is free for a firm grip. If only. He huffs and tries not to think about it. He ain’t that kind of man.

The moment your family crests the incline of the small hill to the training ground, your other family members ran towards you. Naruto was incredibly excited to see you. He outran his teammates to make it to you faster.

“Auntie!” He shouted.

You greet him with the same amount of enthusiasm. Ayaka was just awakening. She made some noises. Coos and small cries for attention. Her little limbs shifted as she stretched out again. You hand her off to your nephew, who was so thrilled to hold her.

“Hiya Aya! It’s me! Your big brother!” Naruto was more than happy to reintroduce himself.

Sakura was soon to follow and just as excited to have a turn to hold Ayaka. Thankfully she’s really good with being held. She didn’t mind so long as the person holding her didn’t shake too much. She mostly just stared at the person cradling her. She didn’t know them like she knew her parents. There’s a genuine curiosity and confusion in her face as she stares them down.

A new boy you’ve heard of but haven’t met had wondered up as well. He’s paler than the moon with black hair and eyes that stand out against his ghostly complexion. He stared at you, then your husband, then finally your baby.

“She’s ugly.” He stated.

“Hey!” Both Jiraiya and Naruto objected in the same tone.

You cross your arms and frown at him.

“You must be Sai.” You say simply.

He nods. Jiraiya snatches back his baby before that little crap can get to her. He dramatically dropped Sai’s intended food at his feet like a disgraceful offering. The teen didn’t seem to mind. He just sat down and began to eat it. You are scowling at him. You’ve heard that he’s abrasive, but that was just mean. Your boys are pissed too. Both of them glaring daggers at Sai while Sakura explained how that isn’t a nice thing to say.

You sit down with your little group. Jiraiya was content to hold Ayaka first while you ate. She was content to be in his arms. He could cuddle her up to his chest and it was familiar enough to have her relaxed and calm the whole time. Anytime she fussed, a couple of rocks had her settled again.

That was the last sorta strange day in your life. Sai learned some social skills and later apologized. You accepted. Jiraiya did as well after days of refusing to speak to the young lad. Everything began to work out. Peace was... comfortable. As Ayaka grew older, your family got to experience new things with her.

Lots of things stick out as the year went by. Fond memories that always come to mind when looking over your child.

She’s ticklish on her feet, but too much will cause her to pee. Naruto was the unfortunate discoverer of this. He loved making her laugh. She’d giggle and wiggle her limbs about as they didn’t know what to do with the sensation of the tickles. Then her face turned red for a moment. Your poor nephew looked horrified as he was sure he just broke your baby.

There was a period of time where Ayaka would scream if you left her view for longer than a second. She had a habit of clinging onto yours or Jiraiya’s hair if it was in reach. She learned to grasp and she wasn’t gonna let the opportunity go to waste. For a month both you and him had hair pins and hair ties messily tying up hair like it was a trend. Jiraiya looked ridiculous with his hair pinned back with your decorative hair things. One day he had one of the oversized blue bow clips right at the top of his head to hold back his bangs while he changed Ayaka. He frowned and stuck his tongue out at you when you said he looked nice in blue.

She got sick when she was six months old. A fever and a soft little cough that was hard to listen to. Ayaka was inconsolable for that week. She didn’t sleep or eat all that much. You spent countless hours rocking her and hushing her to try and at least let her get some rest. You paced the whole house as you tried to quiet her fussing. All she did was cry. This was new for you since Naruto didn’t get sick until he was in school. It’s harder when your baby can’t tell you what she needs. Unfortunately you caught her cold and fell ill. It was stressful on Jiraiya. You barely had the energy to drag yourself out of bed. His daughter was always hotthe touch and wailing her head off. Not even the cure all of tummy time on daddy helped for either his wife or child. He ended up making you soup and tea before disappearing for the night. You found him the next day feeling much better. He was curled up on the toddler bed curled up around Ayaka, who had finally settled down for a rest on his chest. It was rough but everyone got through it.

Rather quickly... that training ground Team Seven always went to became a hub. You and Jiraiya brought Ayaka around all the time. It was there she learned to crawl at eight months. To which she had a small crowd of enthusiastic people cheered her on. With the help of her big brother she learned to pull herself to her feet. To which more excited fanfare followed.

It was there she learned to walk at ten months. Once she mastered the crawl and stand, you really encouraged her to walk. Jiraiya was always there to help. He crouched down to the ground and held out his arms ready for her to embrace him. Ayaka really wanted to walk to him. The older she got the more attached she got to her papa. She was motivated purely by the need to be with him. She got it down after a few days of trying. When she fell into his arms, you swear there was tears in your husband’s eyes as he was so proud of her. He lifted her up and praised her. She did that wonderful shriek of joy and babbles as she wiggled in his grasp.

It was a similar story with Ayaka’s first word. She showed interest in food around the eleven month period. She’d look at whatever you or Jiraiya was eating with intense curiosity. She would lean forward with her mouth open as she wanted to try it. Jiraiya caught on right away. He’d usually offer her a small mouthful of whatever he was eating so long as it was soft enough. Every time she liked what she was fed, it was followed with her parents saying happy ‘num’ noises. It was said so frequently that she chirped it as well. Anytime you put down food in front of her she would exclaim it.

“Num!” Ayaka would say happily from her high chair. She’d smack her hands on the tray and bounce in her seat with excitement before smooshing her food in her fist and then smooshing it into her face.

It always causes a chorus of the same happy note from your family. It was kinda funny, wasn’t it? It was like Ayaka had commanded a small army as all powerful ninja repeated her first word in encouragement like it was a well known prayer. Even Kakashi did it when he was invited for supper. He was a bit tense around babies, but Ayaka liked him. She practically harassed the poor man. She gave him the world’s biggest doe eyes and the biggest pout when she made grabbing motions with her hands towards him. He’d sigh and pick her up, which had her content. She liked being carried around even though she knew how to walk. She always tried to grab for his mask, to which he’d nicely push her hand away. The way Naruto and Sakura stared made it seem like they trained her to do it just to get a glance at his face.

It was similar with her second word. To discourage her from putting things she shouldn’t in her mouth, you say ‘yucky’ in an overdramatic disgusted tone. Ayaka got the picture pretty quickly. But she also began to say it when she tried things she didn’t like. Which was adorable. She’d state it like offended her very being. She usually threw what she didn’t like to the ground and raise her gaze to whatever adult decided to feed her something so horrible with a harsh disappointment. She did this with a ramen noodle Naruto gave her much to his utter horror. He spent like a half hour fishing out the best looking noodle to offer his little sibling. She inspected if for a moment before shoving it in her mouth. She paused and looked at Naruto like she gave him garbage.

“YUCKY!” Ayaka was not impressed and made sure he knew that.

She threw it to the ground and scowled. Teuchi and his daughter looked rather disheartened to see that your baby didn’t like their food. You were surprised as well, you’ve liked their food since their first day. Jiraiya was a fan as well. It was weird that your baby didn’t like it. But Jiraiya was the only one that found it funny. He had a fit he laughed so hard he almost fell out of his chair from his baby’s reaction.

Later finally came as well. On Ayaka’s first birthday, you had a nice lunch with Tsunade. She was interested to see how your daughter had grown. It was perfectly pleasant. You had plenty to talk to her about. She loved your Jiraiya stories. The amusing ones like how he swings his hips in rhythm to the songs on the radio when it plays from the kitchen while he cleans or cooks. If he really likes the song he dances like he’s the star of the music video. He can waltz, but he certainly can’t do anything modern with the same grace. Or the time he tried to garden and ended up killing all the flower bushes by mistake. His only solution he could think to fix it was to buy and plant the same breeds of bushes but they later died from failing to root in the soil because he didn’t cut them free of the containers first. He forgot to because he rushed to plant them before you came back home and realized he killed the backyard. You had nursed a bleeding heart back to life and loved that bush. He felt bad for killing it and the replacement, but you just laughed it off. It was so ridiculous that it bypassed your trigger to cry. It was sweet of him to try and keep up the garden as you were heavily pregnant at the time and could no longer do the work.

Telling Tsunade these stories was therapeutic. It was as if she was making sure everything was good. Not in a nosy way, but more like a sister making sure that her brother wasn’t terrorizing her sister in law. She bonded with your daughter too. It was plain to see how surprised and pleased she was when Ayaka began to call her auntie. It meant a lot to her.

These lunches became a weekly thing. It made Jiraiya quite happy too. He was glad the three most important women in his life were growing close. He made one crass comment about it which resulted in a well deserved smack upside the head from both you and Tsunade. He simply laughed it off. It honestly just made him happy.

Becoming closer with both Tsunade and Kakashi had formed an idea. You trust both of them. So does Jiraiya. So does Naruto. They are both good people despite their flaws. You and Jiraiya sat down with them one night and asked them to be the godparents to your daughter.

Both were shocked. They both were hesitant to agree. Naruto objected as he invited himself to dinner.

“But what about me? Don’t I get to take care of Aya?” Naruto complained. He was offended that you didn’t consider him.

You smile at him. Not a cheery or apologetic one, but one that is of a sad understanding. Under the table, your caring partner squeezed your hand for support.

“You’ll make a good father one day and you’re an excellent influence on Ayaka,” You speak with a lacking voice. It’s already a little cracky from a wave of emotion. “But I don’t want you to live the life I did. I never regretted raising you for a moment and because of that I want to see you live life to the fullest.”

Naruto is only a bit older than you were when you adopted him. Being a single teenage caretaker is extremely hard. You only made it out as well as you did because Jiraiya supported you. Even then you worked long hours and dealt with the ostracism mostly alone with a toddler who didn’t understand why people hated him.

The circumstances would be much different if something led to the demise of both you and Jiraiya. If it all did fall on Naruto, he at least had a village that loved and accepted him. They would help him, but he would have to put all his dreams on hold to raise Ayaka. It would be extremely hard to watch from the afterlife as your beloved nephew made such a deep sacrifice for his family. To follow in your footsteps is not a path he should tread... no matter how rewarding it was and still is.

“Not that we ever plan on dying anytime soon.” Jiraiya clarifies with a small chuckle. He turned to his dear friends with a smile. “You don’t have to answer right away. Just think about it. We won’t be offended if you say no.”

The good mood was officially killed. You were on the verge of tears and your guests had a small bombshell dropped on them. So Jiraiya politely told them to leave. The two adults left quietly. Naruto was fairly quiet as well, but he hugged you for a long time before leaving. He’s always been thankful for all you did for him.

After that, it was you and Jiraiya again. Ayaka was asleep in her bed. Jiraiya tried to comfort you. The topic will always make you sad. Especially when you think of how the future could go bad. He held you tightly and combed your hair away from your face. As always, he wipes any tears you shed before they run down your cheek. He banished the pain away with a kiss.

“It’s late... for us anyways.” He huffs a laugh after speaking.

You can’t help but smile. That’s true. Having a one year old that is down and out at seven has made you sleepy for eight. Jiraiya doesn’t last much longer either. He’s usually asleep before you. Unless he’s writing, which he’s picked back up again, then he’ll be up until dawn sometimes scribbling down his wave of inspiration before he forgot it. It’s almost nine and you are exhausted.

Well... maybe not totally exhausted. When Jiraiya stopped in front of the bed and looked at you, you knew he felt the same. When the mood strikes, it strikes hard. It’s been over a year since he’s touched you like that. He starts off with kissing you as passionately as he did when he first got together with you. Then your shirt comes off. Followed by his. Soon you are naked on the bed and he’s on top. His whole body pressed against yours while one hand cradles your back and the other grips your hair at the back of your head. Your hips roll slowly with his as makes some long awaited love to you. Your lips hardly leave his unless to occasionally moan and gasp. You grip his hair right at the crown the whole time.

It’s surprisingly quiet considering it’s been so long. The conversation and emotions from only a short while ago as continued to rule the room. Slow and a little somber. Yet passionate and satisfying. The quiet calls of affectionate names and panting only filling the room. It wasn’t fast enough to hear that lewd but arousing sound wet skin hitting each other. All of it was just... soft, quiet, and intimate.

It ended mid kiss, with Jiraiya pushing his hips in flush against your groin and inhaling sharply. You gasp with him, tensing as he does and toes curling. You finish with him with rocking hips and arched back.

After a quick clean up and change, you’re back in bed with him. He’s on his side ready to secure you into being his little spoon. You curl up into him and his arm slings over your middle. Kisses are placed on your shoulder and neck.

“I’ll never let anything happen to you.” Jiraiya promises. His nose and lips press against your head. You feel him inhale deeply. “Or Aya, or Naruto.”

“I know.” You whisper and hold his arm as it gently squeezed your middle. “Let’s go to sleep.”

There’s another deep breath against your hair. It lets out into a sigh. It was as if Jiraiya released all his stress with that one breath. For now it did. He’s safe, comfortable, and satisfied. He’s got a wife to hold and a baby to entertain tomorrow.

“I love you.” You mutter before drifting off.

“I love you too.” Jiraiya responds immediately.

You fall asleep a second later. Jiraiya was not long after. Peace.... It’s peaceful. Living life is peaceful. A life with you will always be peaceful. With a future that he’ll protect and ensure will flourish. For you. For Naruto. For Ayaka and all her siblings yet to come.

Because in love, one finds peace.

A few weeks after that... you and Jiraiya got to announce the arrival of another child. You are perfectly healthy and happy to start the journey anew. In that time, Ayaka will be in her toddler bed and the crib will be pulled into the master bedroom. Then by the time this baby is ready to sleep in a bed, Ayaka should be big enough to rest in a big girl room.

“At this rate, we’ll outgrow the house in a few years!” Jiraiya joked.

“That’s not a bad thing, is it?” You ask. You press your hands against his chest and smile at him.

“No. Of course not.” He paused to give you a kiss. “I’m happy to have knocked you up again.” He grabbed your ass and pulled you flush against him. “We’re quite fertile, aren’t we?”

“So it seems.”

You share more kisses with him. There’s nothing better than kissing your husband. His hands on your belly and stroking over the area lovingly. It’s not really bad thing at all. Jiraiya wasn’t quiet about his desire to make plenty of children with you. It’s certainly a sign of good things ahead. Ayaka was too young to understand what was happening. She was just minding her business smacking her toys together. She’ll make a good big sister. Her playful nature will be good to help her little siblings be themselves.

The news seemed to have motivated your friends to agree. Kakashi was a bit reluctant, but he figured it was more symbolic. He’ll just be there to talk to the kiddos and maybe babysit... for the hefty price of the cut chapters from Jiraiya’s rough drafts. Perhaps allowing a few more people into his life won’t be a bad thing either. Tsunade said yes as well. It wasn’t so bad being an auntie again.

Your family is always growing. It’s one of those things you didn’t know you wanted so much until it was given to you. The last sunny day of summer was spent at a peaceful picnic in the training ground. Sitting in your husband’s lap as he holds you. Your nephew play chasing around your daughter. His teammates joining in, with Sakura healing any scratch Ayaka gains from falling and Sai learning how to use his beast scrolls to make playful companions not deadly ones. The godparents to your little one quietly cheering their new roles by splitting a bottle of sake.

It was absolutely perfect. Nothing could ever ruin this. Nothing ever will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find closure really important. Gotta tie up the loose ends and have a healthy feel good ending. 
> 
> >looks at all the pile of unfinished sequels I still haven’t finished for this work. 
> 
> Soon. 
> 
> Also happy September! Time really does fly!


	46. The Incubus Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a few months since you’ve met the demon you summoned... for some reason he hasn’t killed you yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it guys! I know it’s shorter but I’m happy with the final product. I hope you all like it lol this has been asked for a lot so I’m nervous if I actually did well.

That weird sensation takes over again. Like being watched by something ominous. You exhale a sigh through your nose. Just as you get comfortable in bed...

You roll over to your side and reach out. Your hand grazes a warm chest. You smile and cuddle right up to the demon in your bed.

Sharp fingernails run through your hair. They don’t pierce your skin or dig in to hurt. It’s rather soothing. His body is so warm. He smells so nice. Like sex and fire. You return the favour and play with his pretty hair. It’s so white and shimmery. So brilliant and beautiful. Like white pearls under clear water on a sunny day.

“Good evening, my little human.” The welcoming deep tones of Jiraiya’s voice greets you.

“A good evening it is... my demon.” You return the greeting.

You look up. The incubus you’ve become involved with has changed. Each time he returns his appearance is a little bit stranger. His horns have grown. His eyes have a more vibrant glow. His tail is more animated. It’s always swishing and moving. When he smiles, his fangs look more appealing and intimidating. He’s still handsome. His human features have hardly changed aside from morphing slightly to accommodate his growing not so human features. The skin beside his horns look irritated from the growth and his lips are always parted to show off the new pointed biters he gained.

Jiraiya puts his hands on your ass and pushes you up. He rolls over onto his back with you on top. Your lips meet his. He holds them in a kiss. They move expertly to exactly how you like. You play with his hair and roll your hips against his. He moans quietly into your mouth. His hands move under your pyjamas to touch your bare ass.

This wasn’t supposed to happen, was it? For months now you’ve been in the passionate relationship with this demon. He appears at night whenever you are close to falling asleep. It’s almost unreal. Every night you are in his arms. In a few moments you are naked and riding Jiraiya. His cock just as amazing as it was when you first had it. It’s absolute bliss. Your whole body feels tingly and hot. He’s purring your name as you roll your hips. It sounds and feels so damn good.

“You’ve gotten good at this.” Jiraiya compliments you. His hands leave your hips to grope your boobs. He rolls your stiff nipples in between his thumb and first finger.

You look incredible like this. Lost in the lust. Your body quivering from the stimulation and mouth open because you can’t even put it into words. Sweat making your skin glisten and lewd moans filling your room. He could fuck you all night just to watch this. He just might. You grab his hands and hold them firmly against your breasts as you ride him harder. Rising to just the tip before sinking down to the hilt as fast as your shaking legs will allow you.

“Ah~! Jiraiya! Fuck! Fuck!” You moan. You throw your head back as you cry to high heavens.

You go stiff as you cum. The overwhelming amount of stimulation is still mind blowing. It courses through your whole body and stars flood your vision. You stay still to catch your breath. Your body is pumping blood quick from excitement. Nothing could make you cum so good. You get so excited that it’s still easy. Jiraiya seems to enjoy it. He gets excited when you’re close. He runs his fingers down your body with a fond smile.

“Such a pretty woman. How’d I get so lucky to have you?” Jiraiya asked with a hungry lick of his lips. “Fucking you is better than anything in the world.”

You look at him and smile. He sits up and pushes you closer. You are flush against his pelvis. His rock hard cock digs into the perfect places inside of you. His gaze is burning. His pupils looking you over for every little movement. You are writhing and whining in his lap. Your delicious insides squeezing and saturated around him in the best way possible. He kisses your neck in a sloppy way that was more tongue than lips. He rolls his hips in an opposite direction to yours. Your body is rocking with the motions and you’re gaining volume in your cries of pleasure again.

Jiraiya pulls you tight against him before flipping you onto your back. In actuality he probably didn’t have to work so hard to fuck you. He could just stay on his back and let you go to town. You’re so addicted to it. But what kind of incubus would he be if he let his human lover do all the work? He’d be a disgrace to his breed for being so lazy. Plus, he’s made a bet with some of his comrades on how many times he can make you cum. He can’t win if all he does is lie around.

Your back hits the mattress. Jiraiya grabs your ankles and pulls them apart as far as possible. You are spread eagle before him. Your bed creaks with the motion of the thrusts. Your whole body is rocking. Your mouth hangs open in a little o shape as he pounds you into the bed. Your hands move around your sheets, dragging your nails along them. Within minutes your back is arching off the bed and you scream his name again.

A flood of stimulation hits him as well. Its akin to getting drunk. Jiraiya smiles with his cheeks flushed a bright red and a bit of drool runs down his chin. He pants heavily as you gush all over his dick. The sensation is good enough make him dizzy and spots dance in his vision. He pulls your legs together and hoists your ass in the air. He keeps them pinned together for a tighter fit before returning to a steady pace.

You are the best he’s ever had. You are so easy to get worked up. Tears are in your eyes as he overstimulates you. But you love it. You crave more. You put your hand between your legs and touch your neglected clit for more. It sends endless waves as you play with yourself to the same beat as his thrusts. It’s just too amazing to stop! Your body just wants it. You want it. All night long you want this demon inside of you! To fuck you all night and all day. You don’t want him to go. He can kill you with his sex and you don’t care! It’s all you think about. It’s all you want. It’s hard to function without him touching you.

Before you know it, you are bucking your hips and your cum is running down your ass. The sheets and blankets are becoming soaked from the mix of fluids. Jiraiya flips you over again. You don’t have the strength at this point to hold your upper body up. He holds your hips to keep you somewhat in place as he fucks you regardless. He leans his body over your back, his chest pressing into your shoulder blades. He licks the back of your ear before kissing your jaw. Then neck. He licks that spot in between your neck and shoulder. His hips pause to dig into yours and his teeth bite down.

“Ah~!” You cry out.

It hurt, but it felt so good! The bite only added to the pleasure. Jiraiya rocked his hips in little motions. It’s just enough to know what he’s doing and have it burrow in that special spot. He takes over with what your hand is doing. His fingers rubbing your clit quickly. You moan his name as he does it exactly how you like. His teeth dig in and bite all across the back of your neck. Blood is running down your arms as each one broke the skin.

“Who do you belong to?” Jiraiya playfully asked in your ear. His tongue licks your ear again. His thrusting picks back up to goad you into answering.

“You!” You can barely gasp out the word. Each thrust was forcing the air out of you.

“Who?”

You open your mouth to answer, but the demon fucking you went harder. Your legs are shaking. Your whole body is quivering. You can’t speak when you’re getting pounded so hard your tailbone is getting bruised. Your mouth hangs open and the only thing your voice can do is let out a squeal.

A furious snarl huffed in your ear. Jiraiya flipped you over. At this point, your ass on the edge of the bed. He’s managed to almost roll you completely off. He’s standing while holding your ass. He rolls and rocks his hips. You are rocking your hips in an alternate pattern. He leans back over you. He bites your collarbone. He bites the thickest parts of your breasts. Then Jiraiya moves his bloody lips up your neck. He’s panting hard with his lips a fraction from yours.

“Say my name! Scream it to heaven and hell!” He growls. The tips of his sharp teeth scrape against your bottom lip.

“Jiraiya!” You give in immediately. You shout it over and over again.

His lips smash against yours. He nips your lips. His tongue plays with yours. You grip his hair and mewl quietly in his mouth. After so many times of being with him, you know when he’s close. He’s gotten very possessive over you. This demanding side is only present when he wants to finish. It’s as if he needed to hear it before he could. You wrap your legs around his waist. You give in every time and only want him close. He thrusts one last time before finishing.

He collapses after several seconds. It’s quiet except for the sound of panting. Your bites are stinging and pulsing with the beat of your heart. As always, Jiraiya recovers quickly. He gets off of you. He gives you a few loving and gentle kisses. The taste of blood is on his tongue. He smiles at you after he pulls back.

Jiraiya knows how weak you get. It’s rather amusing how the stamina of humans is so low. He picks you up and sets you properly into bed. This time he joins you. He cuddles you and nuzzles you. He enjoys being your big spoon. His arms wrap around you and he presses his face against your shoulder.

“You’re getting better.” He praises you. He gives you a kiss.

“Only thanks to you.” You sigh happily.

The exhaustion that comes with having sex with a demon takes over. You can deal with it better. You can move your heavy limbs a little bit. You do to only pet your lovely incubus’ head. His hair is so soft. He laps at your bites to apologize for marking you.

“Jiraiya?” You quietly call for his attention.

“Hm?”

“Why am I...?” You yawn and you can no longer flex your neck to raise your head. Your body is relaxing and passing out beyond your control.

“Don’t worry about it.” Jiraiya hushed you. “Just relax.”

He kisses your cheek as you begin to rest. He rubs your hip in circles. His finger gently runs up and down your hip slowly as he thinks. He doesn’t sleep. What does he need sleep for? He is a demon. His kind don’t need rest. He only wishes to keep you company.

It’s incredibly selfish. Jiraiya is fully aware of what he’s doing. He’s made plenty of excuses to his friends as to why he hasn’t just finished you off. He’s always preferred the long way of taking his victims. He gives them what they want before sucking their life out of them. He’s doing the same for you. That promotion you always wanted at work with flexible enough hours where you can do all the other things you wanted to do. You have friends that genuinely like you. You have these things now. All it took was a little push from him. Fate is an easy thing to manipulate...

There’s only one thing he won’t allow.... which is letting any man get close to you. He’s murdered those men who’ve shown interest in you. You are only meant for him. His woman. No one touches you other than him. He’s the only one who is allowed to make you feel this way. You do belong to him. You are his to love. Even if it does slowly kill you. He’s taken years off of your life already. This relationship will end with you dying an incredibly early death. All at the hands of the incubus who has fallen in love with you.

Who knows if you’ll end up in heaven or hell. The big man upstairs has always been a mysterious judge. He could save your soul for being fooled by a demon. Or you could end up in hell for committing such a sin of lust. If it’s the first, Jiraiya would probably fight his way up to the pearly gates just to snip your wings and drag you into the burning inferno. If it’s the second, he’ll welcome you with open arms. Your punishment will be being his for all eternity. He has a right to you for being the one to take your soul to hell. Won’t that be a good time? Anytime he wishes. Anytime you wish. It’ll be the only thing you’ll know.

His friends back in the underworld will certainly be jealous. His own little human to take care of and do very bad things to. He can get away with it since the point of hell is to punish those who sinned. There’s no better punishment than being his. If you can’t get enough in this life, he’ll do you hard until you’re begging for mercy in the next.

If that does come true then Jiraiya is looking forward to taking your life. Watching you struggle to stay awake is a good sign. You’ll probably only last a few more times before your heart can’t take anymore. He plays with your hair and strokes your back. You groan quietly. His fingers run down your belly. It meets the soft skin of your pelvis before lowering to cup your sex. It’s still wet. It’s sticky. Rubbing it slowly makes you moan. He kisses your ear and neck. He won’t go any further when you’re so weak.

“I love you.” He whispered in your ear.

You groan and hips buck when he touches your sensitive clit. His tongue is hot on your skin as he laps at your neck. You are aware enough to know what he’s doing to you. You can open your eyes a fraction. The incubus you can’t get enough of continues to pleasure you as you resist the need to rest.

“Ah~!” You cry out. “Ji...”

You can’t finish speaking as your mouth opens. Jiraiya hoists one of your legs over his to have more room to manoeuvre. He pumps them in and out of you quickly. You still are incredibly sensitive. You don’t last must longer. Your legs flex and clench closed. They don’t go very far as his hand doesn’t retract until he feels that gush. He does a few seconds later and gets that wave of satisfaction. It fulfills a deep craving he can’t ever quite satiate when he makes you climax.

It saps the rest of your strength to stay awake. You fall asleep feeling elated and satisfied. Jiraiya sighs after a while. You won’t be waking up again. Not for another day. He pecks your cheek again. He sits up and runs his fingers through his hair. He jumps a little when his finger bumped his horn. They are very tender. The bases of them are as sensitive as a bare nerve. That’s the price of getting stronger apparently. His growth in his demonic ways is all thanks to you. It’s like your soul is extra potent or something.

He looks you over and smiles. You just... so wonderful. He tucks you in. He gets out of your bed and grabs his pants off of the floor. He dressed slowly. He stares at the summoning circle you etched so long ago in your floor. He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to step in and take himself away. There’s plenty of incubi down below. Hell can do without him for a while. It’s not like there’s anyone to keep track of him. No one really cares... but you care about him.....

It always takes a while to wake up. It’s hard to lift yourself up. It took a few times. You feel tired despite knowing you’ve been asleep for probably a day. You sit up and rub your eyes. When you lift your head to look around, a pair of familiar glowing eyes is hovering above your bed. After a few blinks, your eyes focus. Jiraiya is standing over you. It’s weird that he’s still here. He always leaves after you pass out. His head tilts ever so slightly in question.

“Can we spend the day together?” The demon asks you. His tone is actually quite... shy and nervous, like he’s afraid you’ll say no.

You smile. A day with a demon? What activities could he possibly want to do? Why does he want to? Perhaps to make your final days more fun. They’ve always ended wonderfully since he always came around at night. Having him around all the time sounded amazing.

Jiraiya offers you his hand. You reach out and grasp it. He pulled you up and into his arms in a bridal carry. You are taken away to the bathroom, for the blood must be washed off of you first. He did take advantage of it... only a little. He stroked the soap over your body and smiled when he touched the parts of your body that still make you jump from sensitivity. It was nice seeing him wet for once. He looked different with his hair flat against his head instead of all that fluffy volume to it that makes him look a few feet taller. His tail kept swishing around as he smiled like the Cheshire Cat. He smoothed his nose against yours and pressed his warm lips against your colder ones. He refused to stop touching you.

A day with Jiraiya sounds nice. He helped you towel off and shook his hair out until it was fluffy again. He grinned at you when his hair was a mess in front of his face. He was behaving so silly. With a lighthearted flare that made you smile.

He helps you get dressed and by that time you can move on your own. He offers his hand again. You take it, letting your demon take you away. It doesn’t really matter where he takes you or what he wants to do. You only want to spend time with him. It’s strange to love the thing that’s killing you. He makes it better. Both life and death.

Getting involved with demons was the best thing to happen in your life.... No matter when it ends... You had fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that it’s fall, does anyone got any ideas for fall scenarios? It’s such a peaceful and cozy season. *sips pumpkin spice latte* 
> 
> And will take ideas for the Halloween one because hell yeah I’m gonna do that one! More specifically costume ideas couples or individual. Idk I’m already in the mood to get spooky.


	47. Stronger Than the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Facing the past is always hard. Your past is especially painful. In many ways you are still scared of the man who hurt you. It’s bearable only because the man you love, Jiraiya, is always at your side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!!!   
> Mentions of rape, torture, manipulation, mental health repercussions such as ptsd. Not from the bae he’s your top quality boi who would set nations ablaze if you asked him to.

The pain was a consistent dull throb. It burns and pulsates. It starts at your neck. It thumps with the beat of your heart. It shocks and spreads throughout your body. Everything is a blur. The pain is so bad you can’t focus your gaze. The most you can gather is that you are being carried. The familiar smell of your husband is all around you. Same with his warmth of his body and the feel of his hair against your cheek. It’s the only comfort you have during this brain numbing pain. A quiet keen of pain leaves you. You blindly feel around and find you are running your fingers down his chest, your nails catching the netted shirt he wears as you drag them down.

“I got you, honey. He’s not here...” Jiraiya whispered to you.

This is incredibly stressful. Letting you join him for this confrontation was a mistake. You took the chance and bravely decided you could handle it. Honestly... Jiraiya didn’t expect you to do anything else. But he begged. He pleaded with you to just stay at the inn while he faced Tsunade. There was a very sure possibility that Orochimaru would be there too. You refused. You won’t stand to the side and do nothing, nor will you be parted from your husband. You learned to fight for a reason.

“I won’t allow him to rule my life.” You stated firmly.

“I don’t want you to get hurt...” Jiraiya trailed off. He frowned as he imagined all that could go wrong.

“Aw...” You smiled at him and held his face. You squished cheeks which pursed his lips just enough to give them a peck. “I promise you I won’t. The hold of the curse mark probably isn’t even strong anymore!”

That assurance quickly died. You tried your best but... the bond with the mark was still strong. It laid dormant until it heard it’s master’s call. It’s been so long you didn’t remember how painful it could be to reject the power attempting to flood your body.

It activated when you least expected. You were supporting Jiraiya the best you could with running interference to some of the attacks. You collaborate well with your husband, having had trained as he did after what happened... He didn’t want you to be vulnerable. You don’t ever leave his side, so it made sense to compliment his fighting style and become his right hand in battle.

You stood atop the chief toad beside Jiraiya ready to fight. You’ve fought by his side long enough to know how he thinks. You can face any enemy, even Orochimaru, so long as you have the man you love so much by your side. Having the world’s grumpiest toad with you helped as well. You are surrounded with those who support you. You... you can do this.

Even so, your heart pounded with anxiety and fear facing the person who did so much to you. He stared at you with that perverse evil grin. Being near Orochimaru makes your stomach do flips. You pressed on, dancing along the three summons as they tangled in battle.

You were about to transition from toad to snake, stepping over the nose of the previous to leap to the latter, your husband only a few steps ahead of you ready to strike on the offensive. You long have steeled your nerve and you raise your head high as you face your enemy. You can do this! Your eyes connect with Orochimaru’s. You are so close to striking this man down!

A sharp pain speared your neck. Like a blade was suddenly imbedded into your flesh. You slipped and yelled. You gripped the mark as you toppled down Gamabunta with no way to recover. It stole your strength and riddled your body with a crippling pain. It looked as if your fate was sealed as you plummeted to the ground. Jiraiya was too far away to catch you. He whipped around, leaving himself open for an attack as he watched you fall. A startled yelp and jerk of his hand was all he could do before he had to counter Orochimaru. Thankfully you were caught by the keen sharp reflexes of the chief toad and he was down an arm as he cradled you in one hand and fought Manda with the other.

It got blurry after that. You heard Jiraiya absolutely lose it. He rarely raises his voice and when he does it booms loudly enough to over power most things. He was shouting so loudly it echoed around the field the battle was taking place in and drowned out the clashes of metal.

While you can fight and hold your own as well as Jiraiya can, he’s incredibly protective of you. He was livid that Orochimaru went for a cheap shot to take you down. That dirty bastard was bringing back all that pain you long healed from! It was the first time rage blinded his judgement. The level of sheer anger he exploded with was a to shock everyone. No one hurts you and gets away with it!

What’s worse was that Orochimaru played on the seething rage. He mocked Jiraiya for getting angry. Which only started a vicious cycle of Jiraiya losing his crap as he fell for every taunt.

“She’s had me first, doesn’t that bother you?” Orochimaru purred with satisfaction. He dropped his gaze to where you were being held securely by the amphibious summon. Your cries grew in volume when he looked at you. It was quite lovely to see how much his influence stays with you.

“Shut your mouth! Don’t even look at her!” Jiraiya was at the point of hurting his vocal chords he was shouting so much.

The battle got bloodier than was intended. Everyone survived. Orochimaru slipped through Jiraiya’s fingers no matter how hard he tried to grip that dirty snake in his hands. Luck favours that man far too much. Had Orochimaru not thought quick on his feet, Jiraiya would have ended his life.

The second it was over, Jiraiya booked it to your side. You are completely out of it and whimpering in pain. You don’t know what’s going on around you. Your eyes are shut as you clutch your neck. Your body contorting and twitching in unbelievable agony. Even if Orochimaru retreated, the damage was done. Jiraiya didn’t allow anyone to touch you. No one dared at that point. They saw a side of him not previously known. Even Tsunade was quite surprised how enraged he got... but she had left before you got home. She didn’t know the full extent of the hurt you were put through. He scooped you up and held you tightly. You clung onto him, seeking comfort.

The trip back was quiet and tense. No one really said anything, but Naruto was quite worried about you. He liked you a lot and watching you struggle was horrible. He asked about it... but received no answer. He caught a glimpse of the mark on your neck and remained quiet like the adults around him. He understood at that point and simply wished for this adventure to come to an end. The only thing that was comforting and that you are in good hands was the soft words Jiraiya kept whispering to you. Naruto didn’t know much about love, but seeing that cynical perv channel the anger that still fuelled him into taking care of you was rather telling of who he really is.

Jiraiya was convinced by his group to push through until back at the village. He only agreed with the idea since it meant getting as far away as possible from Orochimaru. Even without his arms that man is insufferable and cruel. Your pitiful whimpers are hard to listen to. No matter how many comforts are uttered to you, you don’t quiet down or relax.

You can hear him in your head. It’s a horrible side effect of the curse mark. Hearing him occasionally in your sleep or in the quiet was bad enough. They were at least quiet whispers that you can ignore once you focus on something else. Like the sound of Jiraiya’s quiet snores or how he taps his pen when he’s stuck on a sentence while writing something.

Now it’s louder. It drowned out all other sounds. It’s so vivid and near it makes your skin crawl to be so close. The taunts for you to come back. The bemused hums and purrs from Orochimaru against your ear as he tells you beautiful lies make you writhe just as much as the consistent pain. You know his hands are technically dead and useless, but you can feel them on you again. He’s not here... but he is... behind you.. He’s behind you! Your hips and inner thighs. Up your sides you caress your breasts. Up and around your neck. His wet tongue lapping they spot that now marks you as his victim. His sharp teeth graze your neck where he bit you once before, injecting you with that poison.

“Come back to me...” His cruel and amused tone rang in your head. His slender fingers pull your legs apart and his hips connect with your ass. “I now how much you miss me.”

“No... no..” Your voice is small and weak. You are clawing at Jiraiya’s shirt in an attempt to get away. “I don’t!...”

“It’s okay. It’s only me here.” Jiraiya’s voice cuts through the dizzying pain.

You open your eyes and try to focus them. The blurry shape of your husband is in your view. He’s above you. You are laying on your back. His hands are on your cheeks holding your face. His thumbs rubbing back and forth in a comforting caress. He’s speaking to you softly. He’s assuring you over and over that you’re safe.

“I won’t let him get near you again, okay? Come on, baby, it’s just me!” He’s trying his best to get through to you.

This is the first time in many years you’ve been this bad. You had a mild reaction a few weeks ago just before the invasion of Konoha. A grimace on your face as you rubbed your neck like it was sore. You froze when you saw the large summoning snakes and shakily touched the back of your neck. Even that small reaction was enough to spring Jiraiya into action. He just had to make that summon disappear. You got over yourself and assisted, but you were shaken. After he comforted you, you promised yourself you wouldn’t freeze up like that again.

That was awful enough... this is so much worse. Every time it happens, Jiraiya beats himself up over it. You are in this position because he failed you. He never should have let you follow him! But you were worried. You were in love with him, but he had no idea.... until you were taken. As they say, one doesn’t really know what they have until it leaves.

The day Orochimaru betrayed the village and left, he took you with him. Not by choice. You were petrified and distracted with trying to take care of Jiraiya’s injury. You hated that they were fighting. Orochimaru approached you from behind and all Jiraiya could do was watch as that traitor struck you with the blunt end of a weapon. Fear gripped his chest when you hit the ground like a sack of flour and blood seeped from your head. Like ice and fire coursing through his veins one after the other. You were hurt because of him. You got caught up in all this because of him.

He tried to plead with his old friend to hurt him as much as desired, but to not involve you. You were just the innocent bystander that was too concerned for her friends. Yet Orochimaru refused. The cruel bastard laughed at the idea before picking up your limp body by the collar.

“I get what I want for once. You can’t do anything about it.” Was the cold answer given.

Jiraiya tried to follow when Orochimaru dragged you along in the dirt. But it was useless. He stood and took a few steps before collapsing again to the muddy ground, his leg too injured to continue. His body and emotions both were too battered to go on. The last thing he saw before passing out was Orochimaru disappearing with you. He didn’t know what was worse... the betrayal or the loss. That day, Jiraiya was convinced he lost two of his closest friends. Hopeless and regret filled him as he failed two of the most important people in his life. He didn’t know if he’s see either of them again. You... why you? He still hasn’t forgiven himself for what happened. He let it happen. He could have done more.

“It’s me! Just me. I won’t ever let anyone hurt you again!” Jiraiya kept promising you. He pressed his forehead against yours as if it would transfer his thoughts to you. All they would scream is his support. He’s here for you no matter what happens.

“It hurts...” Your voice is quivering. You reach out and run your fingers through his hair until it was was the back of his head above his ponytail. You grip his hair. You don’t pull, just anchor yourself to him. “Make it go away!..”

You were missing for over a year. It was the worst year of Jiraiya’s life. He was miserable. He knew by then that he loved you... he missed you. He spent countless hours combing the Land of Fire for you. If not for the war, he would have combed the whole continent. He would have done anything to have you back. He felt so alone. People kept saying he should just give up. Orochimaru probably killed you as revenge against him.

That turned out to be far from the truth.

You were found barely alive. Skeletal from starvation and dirty from neglect. Covered in wounds and mentally broken. A strange black mark on your neck that spread when you were stressed in any way. Ironically, it looked like small chains when it spread out over your skin. It was grossly suiting to the situation. You barely knew who you were. When asked, you simply say you are a tool. You are to be used like a doll to whatever Orochimaru wanted to do to you. The implications and evidence churned everyone’s stomach. Your wounds certainly weren’t ones from battle.

“Ah!” You cry out in pleasure as your skin was so sensitive in this state. Jiraiya had adjusted to nibble and kiss your neck.

He makes quick work of your clothing. You are hot to the touch, with sweat rolling off of you. That’s not a good sign as it means you may give in. You are using sheer power of will to contain the mark from taking over. You are starting to fail in containing it. You don’t want to give in! Tears flood your eyes as you arch your back to press your body against his.

“Calm down.” Jiraiya spoke firmly. He peels your undergarments off. He feels cold in comparison to you. You are also absolutely soaked with the expectation to get fucked. He hushes you as you get more excited. You spread your legs and moan when his hand grazes your thigh. “We’ll get to that.”

“A-Ah! Pl-Please! Fuck me! Fuck me!” You can’t control your breathing. It’s like hyperventilating. Your lungs are strained from trying to take in air but it feels like you are being squeezed at your sides. You grip and rut against your husband for relief. “Please!... Please!”

“Hush, my love. Not until you are better.”

Going right at it will do more harm than good. While you are aware it’s Jiraiya touching you, you are too close to releasing your hold on the curse mark to be doing that. Foreplay while reminding you who is touching you is the best approach he’s found when you are teetering on that edge. Thankfully he’s got the advantage of years of practice.

You scream when Jiraiya pushes his fingers inside of you. Sweet relief! You are stiff against his body. It’s his first and second finger. It’s not enough! Even when he thrusts them quickly. It’s hard and rough but your body has that intense craving for more.

You groan and your body relaxes as the flood of pleasure washes over you.

“No! No don’t rely on it!” He’s yelling at you.

The black marks of the curse was crawling over your skin. He despises seeing you give in. Those marks don’t belong on your gorgeous body! You’ve been conditioned to activate the curse when you want to cum. The agony would fade away into mind blowing pleasure when you succumbed to the need. The flood of that snake’s power was pure bliss to your every sense. It was so bad that at one point whenever you saw Orochimaru the markings would grow to take over half of your body and your own wetness would be running down your thighs. All because you knew he was only there for one reason.

Jiraiya did everything he could to reverse the damage. He took care of you. He fed you and sheltered you. Sometimes he just held you. He spent so many hours just laying beside you trying to make you feel better. It’s like you were back from the dead. Some days he still couldn’t believe you were back. On the nights where you writhed and wailed in pain, he did everything he could to help. He couldn’t stand to see you in like that. He worked with you to try and find a solution. He talked you through it and got you to ignore the need to rely on the curse mark and by extension Orochimaru to feel pleasure. You could pleasure yourself. Your loving caretaker could pleasure you. You don’t need Orochimaru for anything. Not his power. Not his control. Not his pleasure.

“Calm down! You don’t need him!” Jiraiya raised his voice. He knew you become hazed when you were like this. He buried his face against your chest and begged. “I’ll make you feel all the pleasure you need. Please just listen to me!”

You whine and wrap your arms around him. It felt like thousands of ants crawling all over you. Their little legs pricking your skin as they scuttle across you. A burning sensation followed like fire being injected into your blood. Your breath hitches and holds when Jiraiya latches onto a nipple. He sucks and runs his tongue around it. It’s good! Another side effect is becoming incredibly sensitive. Your whole body is aware of every little change. You shut your eyes and try to breath. It feels good. Just focus on the good.

“Ah... Jiraiya...” You moan.

It’s just your husband. The man you love is the one that’s pleasuring you. There’s nothing wrong. No one here is going to hurt you. He’s here for you. He’s here because he loves you. His tongue drags across your chest to pay attention to your other breast. He plays with it like he had to the other one. His thumb rubs your clit at the same pace to his fingers. It’s all for your pleasure. By choice... You want it because you really want it.

Another beautiful cry of love leaves you. Jiraiya curls his fingers to press and rub right against your g spot as you climax. The prickly heat of the curse mark had retreated. He knows you well enough to put together that you had gotten a grip on yourself. He hums what was supposed to be your name. He retracted once you relaxed.

You are hot and cold at the same time. The mix of saliva and sweat on your body was cool on your skin. You lay still as you catch your breath. Kisses are laid on your neck and jaw. You smile. You open your eyes slowly and reach out. You run your fingers along Jiraiya’s cheek. He returns your smile.

“Thank you.” You whisper. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jiraiya said.

He closes the distance to kiss you. You love kissing him. He’s always so gentle, at first anyways. He’s no stranger to roughhousing. He’s nipped you plenty of times, but always asks if you want to get rowdy. Both are really good.

A throbbing pain is still thumping. Like being jabbed in the neck with a screwdriver and having it twisted right in the raw nerve. The mark is still active. You aren’t safe from it yet. You cringe as you try to ignore it.

“Do you need some more distraction?” Your husband asks you sweetly.

“I might.” You sigh. You lay your head back, your neck is sore. “I wish I didn’t have this thing.”

“You probably wouldn’t... if I was stronger.”

“Don’t say that.” You brush his hair away from his face and coo at him. “It’s not your fault.”

A slow sigh of disagreement comes from Jiraiya. He’s always blamed himself. Even when you were in that manic state of mind all those years ago, you could tell he piled all that guilt onto himself. He paced the length of your room while pulling at his hair. He had dark circles under his eyes from not sleeping and he was going crazy from overthinking everything action he ever made. You remember just staring at him as he babbled on and on. Most of it was just apologizing. He had shouldered all the blame. He felt completely guilty and deserving of whatever hatred or criticism came his way. It’s not his fault that Orochimaru was a traitor, but he was convinced he didn’t try hard enough.

“You got hurt because of me!” Jiraiya insisted in the same despaired tone he had when you were still in hospital.

“It’s not. Stop blaming yourself for something you can’t control.” You always said to comfort him.

It’s not his fault you ran out to chase him that night. You were worried for both of them. You were young, dumb, and in love. You didn’t want Jiraiya to get hurt because of your feelings. You also didn’t want to believe the wildfire rumours already spreading around the village about Orochimaru. He was your friend too. You confided in him with all your secrets. How were you to know that he was in love with you? He grew to obsess over you and despise Jiraiya for always being the centre of your affections. It was Konoha’s most tragic love triangle.

Maybe it’s silly, but you feel a certain amount of blame. Like you had driven Orochimaru to the point of turning. How many times did you run to him seeking a friend to vent to? All you did was blab about your unrequited love to a man who had feelings for you. It was horribly ironic. Orochimaru kidnapped you to inflict some revenge on you. He turned you into his toy after months of breaking you. He abused you. He convinced you that no one else will make you feel like this. He’s a sick man with a sick perspective on love. He drugged you and assaulted you until you gave up. He wanted an idealized version of you as a partner. He wanted you to be completely addicted to him. He used the curse mark to control you. It was the perfect link since he could feed some of his power into you when he wanted you to cum. It slowly corrupted you to be reliant on him. The day he inflicted it on you, he pleasured you to solidify the connection straight from the get go. It was a blur, but you remember being strapped to a table while writhing in unbelievable pain while slender fingers touched you in your most intimate areas. He whispered in your ear encouraging you to focus on the pleasure he was giving you.

“You’ll love it... you’ll love me.” He spoke so quietly before lapping at your bleeding neck and fingering you until you grew to enjoy it.

You were still in love with Jiraiya after all that had happened to you. There was a point where you would lay on the cold ground of the building you were captive in so starved you were no longer hungry and wish he was there. No matter how you were punished for wanting a different man, you still wanted him. You escaped into plenty of dreams wishing he was there holding you and telling you how wonderful you are. The pain of living was bearable so long as you pictured his smile and loving words.

Seeing him again after all that time was refreshing. He realized that he loved you too. He confessed after a few days of you back home and recovering. You were over the moon at his confession. He didn’t touch you until he was sure you really wanted it. But you hugged him all the time like you were baby bat hooked on it’s mama. He was more than happy to deal with it. He waddled around with you on his back in a piggy back ride almost everywhere. You didn’t like being alone, so you clung onto him. He didn’t like leaving you alone, so it worked out.

You hum and turn your head to the side. You rub the achy spot. It’s burning again. It’s the same burning sensation as a spazzing muscle. It’s taught and throbbing to the beat of your heart. A pair of lips pressed against the spot again. You sigh and run your fingers through Jiraiya’s hair as he makes out with your neck. It does feel nice. He knows where to go to make it feel better. He’s always done that.

Ever since you got together with Jiraiya, he’s gone for your neck. In a good way. He pushes hair and clothing aside to give it a kiss. Most times it’s how you wake up. His hand pushing things out of the way before kissing the bare skin of your neck. When you got married to him, you were a giggly mess as he kept pecking your neck in kisses while he ‘tried’ to get your necklace off. He had it unhooked in his fingers in the first seconds of finding the clasp, but it didn’t matter. He liked being in that crook. From there he can feel your pulse and hear you breathe. Your throats vibrates when you speak and it’s soothing to be next to. These memories are what you do focus on when your mark burns.

You watch with a smile when he sits up. He sheds his layers, raising a brow and smirking as you stare at him. It’s the same amount of excitement and want you’ve shown since you first hooked up with him. He moves to kneel on the bed with the intention to push you down to your back. But it’s not quite time for that. He deserves something for getting you off.

Instead of letting him get on top, you grab his arm and yank him to the bed. It was a bit too much and you occasionally get a surge of strength when the curse mark retracts. So instead of the gentle pull and roll you were planning, Jiraiya stumbled and tripped with your yank on his arm. It took him by surprise and he didn’t catch himself in time. His fell and his face landed in prime motorboat position. It hurt too. His nose and chin were hard enough to knock the wind out of your chest for a few moments.

There was a moment of silence... then giggles. Slightly muffled giggles came from your husband as he struggled to get off of you. The fit of laughter had stolen his strength for a moment. He did regain composure enough to get on his hands and lift himself.

“Sorry!” You apologize to him between laughing.

He nods before leaning forward to kiss you. His lips barely relaxed enough to do so. They kept twitching into a grin every so often. You pull back first, making him hum a note of complaint.

“Let me give you a treat, baby.” You purr at him.

Jiraiya grins at you. You pull him more gently this time and flip positions. You pay him all the attention he loves. Lots of dedicated time to kissing. Your fingers trail down his chest and abdomen before moving back up. Slow strokes to stimulate his senses as you make out with him. Each time your fingers go lower to his pelvis. He groans and fixes his legs to be wider to encourage you to fondle as much as you like.

You tug lightly and massage his balls in your palm before putting feathery touches up his stiffening cock. You only break the kiss to lick your hand, ensuring to lick over your fingers slowly before going back down to stroke him off. The added slickness from your saliva made the job much easier. The moans that are vibrating right into your mouth is telling you that you’re doing good.

Soft calls of your name between kisses only urged you to continue. You pull back your head, breaking the kiss. It’s time for more. Jiraiya hummed with both question and disappointment. He pouted a little as he expected this to go on longer. You smile at him and give him a quick peck to hold him over. He’ll much appreciate what your mouth will be doing in a few moments.

You continue to massage the very base of his privates as you instead kiss his body. With gentle nibbling and sucking over his collarbone. Down the line that defines his pectorals. That space under Jiraiya’s ribs right where the cage ends is sensitive to his bellybutton. He’s oddly ticklish in that area. Doing feathery light kisses and breaths of air makes him react in the funniest way. He twitches and resisted the urge to buck as you stimulated the sensitive nerves. The light squeezes and strokes to his hard on was only making it feel even more sensitive as all those nerves are on high alert for your touch. You lick down the line to his bellybutton. Your lips just barely touch his cock before you slide your head back with your lips dragging on his skin. It makes him feel good. It gets him nice and worked up.

“Ha... Fuck. Stop teasing me!” Jiraiya grunts.

“It’s just so much fun.” You respond with a teasing lick over of your lips.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

You chuckle. He sounds a little peeved, much like a pouting child than actual anger. He could never get angry at you. Lucky indeed. You hook your arm around his thigh and pull it out a little. It’s now flush and firm against your chest. You first lick the tip of his dick. A flick over it quickly. It got another frustrated groan out of your husband. There’s a quiet thunk as his head hits the headboard.

Alright, he’s had enough. You pop the head in your mouth and part of the shaft. You suck and gulp. You take in more and bob your head at a slow pace. Jiraiya uttered your name. As always you are good at getting him off. Since you are positioned at his side and your rather lovely ass is facing him, he takes advantage. He runs his hand up the back of your thigh. The innermost part of your thigh his wet. He ran his middle finger along your slit which caused you to moan. It added vibrations to your throat which tickles his dick ever so greatly. He strokes the sensitive skin before giving your butt a good squeeze.

Jiraiya gripped your thigh and pulled it to the side. When your knee touched his side, you raise it and transition into straddling him. With your privates now spread and right by his face, he takes better advantage. He licks his finger before going in to play with your clit. You legs flex when his finger rubbed it hard. He plays with it while you suck him off.

“Hn! Mmm!” Your pleasured noises are muffled. Your hips move with the motions of his finger.

Then his tongue met your entrance. Jiraiya pulls on your thigh and buried his face in your pussy. It’s a place he loves being. It’s warm and tasty! It makes you moan the cutest noises as he pleasures you with his tongue. It plays and curls with the pace of your blowjob. Which was making his toes curl and abdomen tense.

The only advantage of your unique past was gaining the ability to deep throat. You were once forced to no matter how you choked or gagged. You eventually trained your gag reflex to not react. Jiraiya never forced you to. He was shocked the first time you did it and loved it. You activate this talent and take his cock until you run out of shaft. He goes ridged as your hot wet mouth is all over his cock. It feels almost as good as your other hole! Your throat clenched and squeezed him in a way he can’t describe. He pays better attention to eating you out, he can’t be outdone. What kind of husband would he be if he let you down?

Your body lurches forward with the force of Jiraiya shoving his tongue in and out quickly. It forced you to pull back so you didn’t choke. It’s hard to stay focused when it felt so good. You match his pace with mouth and hand, twisting your palm to create more friction.

You don’t last much longer. How can you when he’s being so wonderfully aggressive against your sex? It’s enough without hurting more than it pleasures. Then the slight bit of pain interjected. You grit your teeth and resist. You lay your forehead against Jiraiya’s hip, continuing to jerk him off as you feel the curse mark’s need to activate. He probably can’t see from his angle as it wants to release. It’s like a needle rather than a screwdriver, so it is being subdued.

You ignore it. You don’t need it. You don’t ever need it. You cry the name of the man you love oh so much as he makes you climax. You cease playing with him as it took your strength. Slowly, your hips relax and they against Jiraiya’s chest. He’s simply breathing heavily and gripping your thighs until you calm down.

“How you feeling?” Jiraiya asks.

“F... Fine.” You whisper.

“The mark? Is it still hurting you?”

“Only a little.”

You sit up and look over your shoulder. Jiraiya is looking you over for any changes. There is nothing to look for. You can contain it. He reaches up and strokes his hand down your spine. He smiles at you as your body is free of black marks. It’s rewarding. No one will hurt you like that again. Only the good stuff for you for the rest of your life with him, as he’s done ever since he got you back.

“I love you.” You keep your voice in a whisper.

You had beat him only by a second. His lips already parted to say it. He grins.

“I love you too.” Jiraiya returned the sentiment in a quiet voice.

You reach down and caress his face before moving forward. You line up to take a ride on him. He holds the base of his cock to make it easier for you to sink down on it. A synchronized sigh leaves you and him once you’re speared on the full length. You rub and brace against his thighs.

The better advantages of going reverse is being able to go buck wild. Jiraiya holds your hips and raises his knees to aid you. You grip his knees and used them for leverage to help you as you ride. With no need or want to be slow, you ride hard and fast. You bounce on him from tip to base as quickly as you can, enjoying how every inch feels and rubs inside of you.

At this point of being together for so long, Jiraiya has probably seen every oh face you’ve ever made. Even so, there’s something rather unrestrained about riding him with your back to him. You let your mouth hang open as your eyes shut. Brows furrow and lewd cries leave you with every fall down. He must feel the same about this. He’s digging his fingers into your skin as he writhes in pleasure underneath you. He’s not a loud lover, but he’s using his voice move as he groans with every movement. He bucks his hips with your every rise as he’s eager to be back in.

It makes him a little weak. You feel amazing! Every lewd word in the written language can only just barely explain how you feel when he’s inside of you. Rather than being able to sit up, Jiraiya releases your hips just to claw at the sheets to help pull him up. You whine as it adjusted the angle slightly. You sink down and stay there until he stops moving. Your heart is pounding. Everything seems to be holding its own pulse. Your inner walls are clenching and wanting more stimulation.

He raises you up. He quickly switched to sit on his knees and dropped you onto his cock. He held you there and grinds his hips against you. Now this can really get going. The awkward position of having his legs out really isn’t suited for this hard ride. He grabs your breasts and bites your earlobe.

“Keep going, beautiful.” Jiraiya spoke against your ear. “I’ll help, okay?”

“Okay!” You breathlessly agree.

You lean into him and rely on his back for support. You resume the frantic pace. Loud moans rumble in your ear. Then wet kisses are placed on your neck, right on your curse mark. He groped and massaged your boobs as you continue to ride him.

A gentle nip is placed on your mark before more kisses are laid on. You say his name. You reach up to grab his hair right at the roots. His hips rise and meet you half way. He’s too eager to stay put. You bounce with the force of him thrusting and you pushing. The slap of your skin meeting his fills the room. It’s loud and echoey in the otherwise quiet bedroom. His breathing gets more frantic in your ear. You match it as it falls in sync to the thrusts. There’s no other opportunity to breathe!

“Jiraiya!” You cry his name and mewl a strained note as the build up winds up your body.

Jiraiya sharply inhaled and stammered your name. He pushed you forward. You willing fall. You grip the footboard and rise your hips. He’s over top in a second pounding you. There’s that ripple up your spine and an ache building in your ass as his hips meet it brashly. The frame of the bed is rocking and squeaking from the strain. At this point all you can do is yell his name repeatedly as your body began to build up that familiar feeling. You pull on the bars of the board as you resist the urge to coil up. He’s right behind you, grunting your name between panting. He’s desperate to finish as he knows where you are and can’t help but follow.

One final hard thrust and you become undone. The final time comes with that flood of stars in your vision and a dizzying amount of stimulation. Thankfully... the curse mark doesn’t activate. You have a hold on it again. For only one man can make you feel this amazing. You don’t ever need anyone else. Jiraiya isn’t far behind. He grinds it out and hissed between his teeth as he finished. He stayed deep inside of you, completely still until the orgasm had fully passed.

Once that amazing high had begun to fall, Jiraiya pulled out and sat back. He was too preoccupied to make you feel good to have grabbed a towel. You sit up just as he leaves for the bathroom. You watch as he stumbles and his legs shake. It’s a pretty darn good fuck when the legs are unstable. He chuckles before grabbing the doorframe of the attached bathroom to help him balance. It’s a good thing it’s so close by. Or he would have just sunk to his knees and fell to the floor chuckling from how good he feels. He pushed through the noodle like feelings in his limbs and kept going.

He returns a moment later. He very sweetly hands you a towel as he cleans himself off with a separate one. You do the same and he rejoins you on the bed ready to cuddle.

“You feeling better, honey?” Jiraiya asks you. He grabbed you and pulled you to the right side of the bed. As he gets you tucked in, he speaks again. “Or shall we continue this late into the night?”

“I do feel better!” You answer happily. He’s overtop of you and settled his chin on your belly. He’s looking up at you with a smile. You push his bangs away from his face and smile at him. “I wouldn’t mind continuing this until dawn!”

He grins that pervy little grin complete with a small blush and deceptively innocent looking crescent shaped shut eyes. Kisses are laid on your stomach and up to your chest before finally meeting your lips.

You hold Jiraiya close as he makes out with you. You run your foot down his leg and massage circles into his shoulders as you kiss him. Eventually it fades into cuddling. With his face in the crook of your neck and his body relaxes. He is a dead weight overtop of you. His breathing gets heavy. You play with his hair and it coaxes him into a deep sleep. You relax and fall asleep.

Might as well sleep while you can. It won’t last long. You wake up soon to gentle kisses on your neck. The sun was just setting. You sigh happily and run your fingers through your lover’s hair as he quietly asks if you are ready to start again. You agree. Tonight was going to be the first of many long nights.

For a a few days... no one sees you or beloved husband. Rumours fly around. It’s known you are a victim of a curse mark, but it’s only speculation on how Jiraiya makes you feel better. Some say he simply nurses you back to health and his well known doting nature over you keeps him glued to your side. Others say he resorts to torture methods.... well... uh they only say that because your screams of pleasure are taken very out of context.

Once you and Jiraiya do emerge from the building, people check up on your health. Their concern melts into a flustered understanding when they see you happily attached to your husband. There’s a certain look to a person when they’ve been in the throes of passion with another. Most people put it together. Unless it’s a clueless kid.

“Hey! Lady Sage!” Naruto was incredibly happy to see you back on your feet. He skidded to a halt in front of you and grinned. “I missed you! Are you feeling better?”

“Much better, thank you.” You were happy to converse with the young lad.

He asked you a few things out of pure curiosity and concern. You have grown motherly over him and answer the best you can. It was difficult to answer the youngin’s questions when Jiraiya kept sweeping away the layers that hide your neck to give your bare skin a kiss. They were gentle enough to tickle. You’d curl your shoulder in an attempt to get him to stop. He was persistent and held you against him as he found his favourite spot to cover in affection.

“I guess I’m not satisfied.” Jiraiya sighed dramatically. He wrapped his arms around you and held you. He gets lost in your eyes for several moments, drawn in by their beauty. He boops his nose against yours. “I think that bed missed us.”

“Really? Just the bed and not the man?”

“So long as the woman wants to, then they both miss her.”

You chuckle. You rub his shoulders affectionately as you look him over. He’s so sweet to ask. Wonderful and thoughtful. The exact same person you married over twenty years ago. Hm.. maybe not the exact same. Perhaps a little sexier with age, much like a fine wine.

“She wants to.” You answer.

He beams and angled his head to go in for a kiss. His hands travel your body and he gives that wonderful ass of yours a squeeze.

“You two are weird.” Naruto said after a moment of watching the two adults before him get worked up. If these are his new teachers... then may someone have mercy that he may actually learn something from them. They seem to into each other to focus on him for too long.

“You know, kid, when you find someone you love, you’ll understand.” Jiraiya said simply.

Naruto huffed at the idea. Love is gross. Adults are gross. These two adults are especially gross. They go gallivanting off back to that room granny set aside for them. Off to do what... he didn’t want to know.

They at least emerged again to watch Tsunade officially take the title of Hokage. As her friends, you and Jiraiya got to stand behind her on the roof of the estate in support. You hold his hand as you watch her rally both ninja and citizens to her side. She looks excited to prove herself. She looks good wearing that iconic hat.

“Things are just getting started, aren’t they?..” You ask quietly.

“What do you mean?” Jiraiya turned towards you and inquires.

“I don’t know... I suppose... things won’t be the same around here. With The Akatsuki brave enough to come here and the village being ruined.” You pause and look at him for comfort. “It just feels like bad things are ahead.”

“You’re probably right.” He agreed. He pulls you closer and places a kiss on your cheek, then one on your neck. “But we’re all stronger than that... especially with that disaster leading us.”

You chuckle at his joke. You hold onto him and give him lots of kisses. He pecks your face and neck while you giggle in his grasp. He finished with a big smooch on your lips.

“Hey love birds!” Tsunade got your attention. Jiraiya was less cooperative in giving her his attention as he plopped his cheek atop your head and slumps part of his weight on you while looking offended that you weren’t giving him the kisses he oh so loves. “How about a drink to celebrate my first day in office?”

“Since when is ten minutes a whole day?” Jiraiya asks.

“It is because I say so!”

They share a laugh. Jiraiya led the way behind Tsunade as she determinedly walked to her favourite bar. The mention of alcohol had perked him up and he stopped pouting. You spend the whole night enjoying it with the people you love. You keep a hand on Jiraiya in some way. His thigh or hand being the usual culprits as he sits beside you and catches up with his friend. He usually does the same. So long as he has a free hand to drink he’s good. You are more content to occasionally join in with a comment here and there but stay generally quiet.

When you are with Jiraiya, you are at peace. All the pain and fear you endured in your past is long forgotten when he’s by your side. You rest your head on his shoulder and focus on the sound of his voice. He put his arm around you and paid you some attention before returning to the conversation. A kiss to your head and a squeeze to your shoulder that quietly told you that he loves you. You squeeze his thigh and shut your eyes, letting that wondrous feeling stay with you until it was time for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t want to be insensitive I was just hella inspired to write something like this because the comfort after all the hurt is so cozy. And of course a very protective Jiraiya is my damn aesthetic. Enjoy your week babes!


	48. The Festival of Changing Leaves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In autumn, Konoha hosts a wonderful festival to celebrate the change of season. It’s mostly for fun now, but one tradition hasn’t changed. When Jiraiya asks you to go with him, a part of you hopes he’ll ask you to partake in the simple tradition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader is a very much a bookworm introvert so get in the mood babes it’s fall.

Every fall the Hidden Leaf Village hosts a wonderful festival. The forest turns into an array of beautiful warm colours. Red. Yellow. Orange. The brilliant colours of fall are to be celebrated. The change of season brings about many things. Harvest and preparation for the cold winter. As more modern conveniences are now available, it’s more just a fun festival rather than preparation for winter survival. It’s all for fun now. It brings together lots of people. Including your date.

It was a surprise when Jiraiya asked you to accompany him to the festival. He wasn’t known for wanting to participate in community things. He usually avoided it. Yet he asked you if you wanted to go with him. You were a little blindsided, but agreed. You expected to attend it by yourself. Even then only for a few hours before returning home to bury yourself back in the comfort of a book. A date with the famous toad sage and is quite the honour, as he jokingly said to you.

You and him have been casually seeing each other for a month now. It’s mostly just been going out for dinner and chatting. You get along with him, he gets along with you. But the festival would be the first real long outing with him as his partner... date?... girlfriend? He hasn’t ever referred to you as anything like that.

At around noon, you meet up with Jiraiya. He’s well suited for the festival as he always wears warm colours. Only he seemed to ditch his equipment and armour to appear more casual. His hair was down too, something he’s never done around you.

“Shall we?” He asks and held out his hand for you to take.

“We shall.” You answer and take his hand.

The whole village was converted for the festival. It was a celebration after all. The food stalls had converted their menus to highlight fall flavours and treats. There’s games too. Lots of games! They were all homemade games that the villagers had put together themselves. Ring toss. Bottle towers. Pumpkin rolling. Bobbing for apples. One of the training grounds was converted into a hay maze. There’s a section dedicated to crafting. Like painting leaves and carving pumpkins. Lots of the younger kids like to go there... but it also has a table set up for a very special tradition...

It’s usually for couples. Two people gather leaves of all colours and shapes. With their fall leaves they make a wreath out of it measured to fit their partner’s head and is given to them as a gift. It’s a great tradition. Plenty of people ask each other out with this tradition. Typically if the person accepts the wreath and wears it, it’s a sign of acceptance to the confession...

Maybe you can make one for Jiraiya? He wasn’t really a wreath wearing type of man but it’s a tradition. It would be a cute way to ask him if you and him are more than just casual dating. You like spending your time with him. He must like it too, or else he wouldn’t have asked you.

“What do you want to do first?” He asked.

“Hm...” You pause to think. “How about some games?”

“Sounds good!”

Jiraiya lead the way to the street hosting all the games. He stopped at a bottle tower game first. Despite being a village full of ninja, the games are very simple and easy. Everyone has a great attitude towards the simplicity of it all. It brings out the kid in everyone. He bought a game and was handed three plastic balls to knock the bottles down. He handed you one to give you a chance.

Now.... you ain’t no ninja. Your hand eye coordination is not the best. The most you do with your hands and eyes together is cook or clean. In comparison to an S class who has been fighting since childhood you are... terrible. You make the throw and it goes very wide. It was quite weak too. It flunked against the board holding the bottles. It rattled but they didn’t topple.

Your date laughs at you. Not in a mean way. He was rather amused at your poor attempt. You huff and blush as he chuckles.

“Here... let me show you.” Jiraiya offers.

He gave you a quick lesson. It wasn’t without its inappropriate touching. His hands rest on your hips as he fixes your posture. They run up your sides and graze your boobs ever so lightly before running up your arms to adjust them. You can feel your cheeks get warm as he spoke quietly, giving you advice on how to throw a proper pitch.

“Put your whole body into it, babe.”

“Okay.”

He pecked your cheek before stepping back and letting you try. It’s hard to focus when you know he’s watching you. You miss again, but got a lot closer to hitting the bottles. Jiraiya congratulates you even if you did miss. You learned something and improved.

“Want to try again?” He offered you the final ball.

“No, not really. Maybe if I saw you do it, I’ll understand better.”

“Alright.”

He seemed a little disappointed that you refused. He stepped up to the booth and took the stance he showed you to take. Wide and strong in the legs as he angled to the side ready to pitch. He pulled his arm back and smiled as he calculated exactly where to throw to knock the tower down. He threw the ball and struck it in the middle, catching the edges of three bottle tower. The tower of bottles flew apart and clattered to the floor. The enthusiastic booth operator cheered and offered him to pick a prize.

There was an assortment of dolls and plushes. They probably aren’t worth that much but it’s the novelty of winning his girl a prize at a fair that really mattered. They were all harvest themed. He picked out a cute little corn doll with a red painted smile and dressed in a patchwork kimono. At first he offered it, but pulled it out of reach as an idea came to mind.

“Doesn’t your prize winner deserve a kiss?” He asked with his bottom lip pulled into a pout.

You smile and rise on your toes. Jiraiya leaned down the rest of the way and gave you a kiss. The first one was a simple kiss. Then you went back in for more. Before you could really register, you are full on making out with this man in the middle of the street. His free hand was settled on your lower back and had you pulled against him. Your hands had decided to settle on the back of his neck. People made a point to walk around you and him. Eventually someone bumped into him and he staggered forward. It caused you to stumble back.

Being a Shinobi with sharp senses came to Jiraiya’s advantage. He caught you with no problems, but in a dramatic dip. You are lost in his eyes for a moment. With his long curtain of hair, it fell forward and blocked out almost everything else around you.

“Uh... Let’s move on.” He said as he raised you up and set you firmly on your feet.

He handed you your doll and took your hand to go check out a different game. The pumpkin rolling contest was underway so you stood beside him and watched the younger kids roll the large squashes around. They struggled as the pumpkins seemed to have a mind of their own and wanted to roll off the lanes. The kids loved it and it was nice seeing groups of friends bond over the experience.

“The adult sized pumpkin rolling contest is about to start!” The host over the contest announced.

You share a look with Jiraiya.

“Wanna try it?” He asks.

“Why not! It looks like fun.” You agree.

You and shim signed up and stood beside a large pumpkin. These certainly are adult sized pumpkins. It’s to your knee in height and so big you can’t hug it with your hands meeting. Jiraiya had no problem hauling it to it’s side in preparation to roll it. He makes it look like it’s made of paper mache. It holds little weight when in his arms.

The horn wails and the first teammates began to roll their pumpkins. It was close as every first contestant was a ninja. Jiraiya was close to second as he was a centimetre behind a man a little smaller than him and not as buff. You recognize Guy absolutely crushing it in first place as he had already lapped everyone and was already pushing the pumpkin back to be handed off to his teammate to do the lap.

You cheered your partner on as he made it to the end of the lane and flipped around to return the start. You held your hands out as you braced to have the pumpkin handed to you. It is way heavier than it looks. Or at least how Jiraiya made it look. You were much slower than he was. You struggled to roll it straight. It got away from you a few times but you managed to get it to the line. Looking up to see where you were at the end of the lane in comparison to the other teams was a little disheartening. Your partner just gave you the thumbs up and motioned for you to return. It was slow going, but you did get it back to the start/finish line.

It was unfortunate, but you got close to last. The last person had finished up but a moment after you had. It was really close. You sigh.

“Sorry.” You say.

“For what?” Jiraiya asks.

“You got us in the top three and I made us finish in the last three.”

“Meh. It’s just a game. You had fun didn’t you?”

You nod. It was hard work, but seeing your teammate cheer for you made it better. He was so enthusiastic it made you work harder. Everyone got a prize anyways. The top three got better ones while all the other participants got a piece of candy. You unwrap yours and eat it. It’s pretty good. It’s still a taste of victory.

Bobbing for apples caught your partner’s attention next. He lit up at the sight of it.

“I haven’t done bobbing for apples since I was a kid!” Jiraiya stated with the enthusiasm of a little kid. Despite being a man of over fifty who has travelled the world and seen the most amazing sights, he’s staring at the mental troff full of apples like it was the most exciting thing he’s seen in his life.

“Then let’s go do it.” You encourage him.

“Really?” He looked surprised.

“Yeah, why not?”

“Heh.. alright, let’s see if I can still do this.” He paused and winked at you. “I was quite the champion in my youth, you know.”

It was probably the cheapest game since it was only a few dollars to try for an apple. Jiraiya paid for a round and kneeled before the metal tub full of water and crisp green apples. He casted his eyes up to you and grinned. He inhales deeply before plopping his head in the water. His bangs spread around in the water as he tilted his head around looking for an apple. He emerged a few moments later with his teeth dug deeply into an apple. Some bystanders clapped as he stood up with his prize in his mouth. He unlatched his jaw and held out his hands. The apple fell in his hand and he trotted back over to, tucking it away in his kimono for later. There are much tastier treats to eat than an apple.

“You’re all wet!” You chuckle. You reach out and use your sleeve to dry his cheek. His hair around his face is soaked and sticking to his skin. “You’ll catch a cold if you don’t dry off.”

“If I do you’ll take care of me, right?”

You blink at him. Heat rises to your cheeks. He leans down and pecks your warm cheek and chuckles softly right after. Very warm cheeks. He stays for a few moments, moving down to make out with your neck.

His lips and nose are cold! His hand is a little icy too as it grope your ass and moved under your sweater. You shiver and gasp. He’s being very flirty today. You jump when his cold fingers snuck under your pants to grip your bare butt.

“Ah! We’re in public! What are you doing?” You squawk and nearly fall over again as you tried to get away from this pervert.

“I’m cold! That water was freezing!” Jiraiya whined before forcing you in a hug you can’t escape from that made you embrace his cold nose and frosty fingers. “I need a warm blooded woman to heat me up~!”

“Gah!”

He laughs as you struggle. It’s all in good fun. You giggle as he presses his nose against your cheek and jump as his fingers run up your spine. It is like being felt up by a pervy snowman, but a pervy snowman you’ve grown to love being around. It settled down quickly. The giggles had stopped and you were simply in his arms. More gentle kisses are placed on your jaw and cheek. They run up before taking your lips again.

Jiraiya says your name quietly and with a seriousness you haven’t heard before. You hum in response, leaning forward with lips pursed for more kisses. He sighs and runs his hand over your cheek before going back in. His tongue brushed against yours for a moment.

“I... really like spending my time with you.” He said.

“I like spending time with you too.”

A smile grows on his face. One final kiss and he steps back. His gaze rises from you and he looks around for another activity. This is turning out to be a great date so far.

“Hey, there’s cider over there.” He pointed to a stall appropriately decorated with cardboard mugs and apples. “I’ll buy you a drink for putting up with me and my cold fingers.” He wiggles his fingers around at you in a nefarious fashion as he dropped his voice to be sarcastically scary.

You weren’t given much choice as Jiraiya grabbed your hand and led you to the stall. He bought two to go cups of apple cider before you could even grab your money from your purse. He has been very insistent on paying for everything today. He hands you one of the cups and he took the other.

The drink smells really good. Like fresh apples and cinnamon. It’s the right amount of warm as well. It seeped into your cold fingers and warmed your body when you sipped it. Your date leads you away towards the hay maze. The bales are stacked high, but Jiraiya is a tad taller. The top of his fluffy white head is easy to spot over the bales, so if you lose him at least you can find him easily. He didn’t seem interested in letting your hand go or parting ways to conquer the maze. He was more interested in walking slowly and chatting. He raised his arm occasionally, bringing yours with his to let a running child through as they were too excited to walk around the slower adults.

“How are you enjoying your book?” Jiraiya changed to a different subject when the conversation fell quiet. He likes asking you about books. Your face lights up in such a wonderful way and you speak up.

“It’s great! I love it so far.” You reply.

“How far along are you?”

Suddenly you are very outspoken, your love of books being one of the few subjects you are willing to talk about. It makes sense that you would date an author. You’ve only recently read Jiraiya’s books, as you wanted to learn more about him through his works and support him. In exchange, you gave him some of your favourite books for him to read... He devoured one after another just to have conversations about them with you. Hearing you talk about books just... makes him happy. You come out of your shell a little bit more.

You scoot closer after someone bumped into you to get passed you. A few of the youthful ninja stopped being so serious and began to race each other. The festival seems to be bringing out the inner child in everyone. It’s one of the only festivals that Konoha has, so it makes sense that so many of the villagers get so giddy. It holds lots of childhood memories as well as making new ones. Even Jiraiya has that nostalgic look to his face. He’s happily breathing in the fall air and looking around at all the sights with a fondness. No wonder he’s been so happy today. He probably hasn’t attended this festival in many years. He’s hardly ever home in the fall, but he made an exception this year since he wanted to attend with you.

A firm grip takes your hand and pulls you away. You follow as Jiraiya whisked you away to a dead end in the maze. Your cup falls out of your hand and clatters to the ground when he grabbed your other hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. Thankfully you were almost done your drink so it wasn’t a waste.

“What are you-!” You began to ask but his lips are on yours again.

It’s much more deep and passionate. Your hands are raised above your head and Jiraiya grips them together by your wrists. With a hand now free, he returns to fondle you. He squeezed your boob before running his hand down your side. He gripped your ass before going a little further to grab the back of your thigh and raise it to hook around his waist. Once you had it there, he kept rubbing it up and down. Then back up to the waistband of your pants. His fingers play around just under the edge to touch you.

Despite dating for some time, you haven’t had sex with him. You’ve seen him naked and had a little fun, but haven’t gotten that far. You are attracted to him. He’s clearly attracted to you.

Jiraiya let go of your wrists, letting out a small grumble of approval when you kept them above you like they were still pinned. He fondled you in a similar way as he did with his other hand. He raised your leg and supported your weight as you now have both legs around his waist. The hay bales better not fall back. They are supporting you almost as much as he is. He broke the kiss to move down to make out with your neck. He sucks on it between kisses, marking your neck in hickies.

“Wha-! Ahh!” You gasp and pant.

“Does it feel good?”

“Mhmm!”

He raised his head and smiles at you. He kissed your lips again. You lower your hands and hold onto his shoulders. The bales behind you are beginning to dip from your weight being pushed against it. You move your hands under his shirt to touch his back and chest. His tongue pushes into your mouth and his hands knead your ass.

“Pervy Sage!”

Jiraiya broke the kiss and sighed. He looked over his shoulder to see that annoying little brat was back to bug him. He’s been dodging the little crap all morning. He’d much rather play silly games and fondle his date than do anything Naruto would want to do. Can’t Naruto understand that he’s busy? You’re flushed and aroused with your pelvis rocking against his. This is a much more pressing issue.

“Granny needs you for something! She asked me to find you.” Naruto explained. He looked grouchy as the older man had evaded responsibility for so long. What could be better than a mission? This festival isn’t that fun.

Another sigh. Jiraiya set you down and you plunked back down on the ground. Once Naruto had finally put together that Jiraiya was with someone, he gave the man an even more pouty unimpressed look. Of course it was a woman!

“Sorry.” Jiraiya apologized to you and smiled. “Duty calls. I’ll try to get back as soon as I can.”

You nod. Your date trots off with the preteen, letting the child talk his ear off. His fluffy white head slowly disappearing from your field of vision. Now you sigh. It felt a little weird not to be near him. Jiraiya makes you feel a certain way and being away from him, especially when he was ready to push your sweater up to your neck, was cold. The air around you felt icier than when his fingers were cold from the water. You look down at yourself and realize he managed to undo your button on your pants. Your bra feels loose too.

You fix yourself before walking out of the dead end and finding your way out. The festival wasn’t very fun when by yourself. All of the activities were fun with someone else. There’s no one to cheer you on or fondle you while they fix your posture. There’s no one to win you a prize or playfully torture you with cold kisses. You walked around the craft tables and didn’t really feel like doing any of them. Until you saw the wreath supplies again. You paid for a length of wire and twine and retreated to sit under a tree.

It was a maple tree. The leaves are a brilliant bright red. Almost the same colour as a ripe cherry. There’s a pile of them around you that have already fallen. You bend the wire into a circle and wrap it in the twine. Your little corn doll was seated in your lap watching you work. She’s okay company, at least she reminded you of the man who gave it to you. 

Looking over the assortment of leaves around you left you with plenty of choices. You kept grabbing the reddest ones. They remind you of Jiraiya. From his red markings to the red he wears. They compliment him. His dark eyes and white hair stand out against the deep red colour that accents his handsome features. You weave the stems of the leaves into the twine until you have a wreath full of red maple leaves. You aren’t the best at crafting, but this looked pretty good. A suitable wreath to give anyone to ask if they’ll be your love.

Will he like it? Will he even accept it? What if you misread everything? Jiraiya is... hard to read sometimes. He’s nice to you and doesn’t behave how he usually is known for when he spends his time with you. He’s actually rather calm and down to earth when you are with him. He doesn’t hold his title or accomplishments over you nor does he behave like you owe him something. He tells you he likes going out with you.

“Being around you all the time gives me tooth aches, baby!” He once said when you raised some concerns. He picked you up and squeezed you in a hug. “You’re too sweet to handle!”

Yet you find yourself in doubt. He could just be acting like this because he’s close to getting you into bed or something. He doesn’t call you his girlfriend. This has been the most elaborate and intimate date he’s took you on. He very obviously likes touching you. Perhaps you’ve been duped by the so justly titled Pervy Sage.

You fiddle with the wreath as you consider just going home. You start to feel foolish. He probably won’t come back. Maybe that kid who came to fetch him was in on it.

“May I sit here?”

You look up to see another famous ninja. One you went on a few dates with. You smile at Kakashi and scoot over to give him some room. He sat next to you and pulled out a book. He paid you little mind as he read.

“Is that for Lord Jiraiya?” He asked.

“Hm?” You were taken that he spoke. You blink at him then look down at your wreath. “Yeah... but I don’t know if he’ll accept it.”

“Really? Trouble in paradise?”

You sigh. You never meant to be so messy of a person when it came to romance. You stopped dating Kakashi and began to see Jiraiya back to back. He introduced you to the older man and was taken by surprise when he found out you moved on quickly. It’s not like you cheated on him. You and him came to an agreement that while you have a lot of the same interests, you aren’t really suited to be his significant other nor is he suited to be yours. He was a little bitter that you moved right on and began to date a man of higher status and power. It started a rumour among some of the higher ranked ninja that you are after something. You aren’t. It’s just happenstance that your current and the last man you dated are men of high standing.

“Do you really care?” You ask.

“No. Not really. Just making conversation.”

“Right.”

“...”

“...”

This is why you broke it off with him. Two introverts don’t have much to talk about. Jiraiya is more extroverted and has challenged your quiet nature in interesting ways. Like teaching you how to throw plastic balls or being a little obnoxious in with his public displays of affection towards you. But he was also fine with being your seat while he watched you read. It was cuddling but better. He liked drinking tea and discussing books. He enjoyed the moments of quiet but didn’t like spending a whole day like that. He made an effort. He liked doing things. He liked doing them with you.

Kakashi would have agreed to go out to a festival with you, but it would have been rather one sided. He would have much rather bury his head in his book while following you around, occasionally saying something while you enjoyed all the fun things by yourself. He more or less would have rather sit under a tree and read. You enjoy reading too, but there’s other things to do in life. He was more animated and engaging when he was with Guy than when he was with you for heaven’s sake. There must be a partner out there for him who can handle all of that and can make a relationship work, it just ain’t you. Your extroverted date is much more suitable for you.

“Read any good books recently?” Kakashi asked.

“Depends on your definition of good.” You reply. You pull the book from your purse and open it. “I’ve been into horror recently. I guess the coming of the spookiest time of year has inspired me.”

“Makes sense. What’s it about?”

“That would take all day to explain.”

“It doesn’t look like you’re going anywhere.”

You frown. That was a low blow, even for him. You run your finger down the spine of the book and tried to explain the plot of the complex novel that has been named the scariest book ever published. Even a genius like Kakashi would have trouble keeping up with it. At least your afternoon wasn’t so lonely.

Not many sights raises questions or alarms in Jiraiya’s head. But seeing you smile and talk with not only your ex, but the very man who introduced you to him did put him on edge. He likes Kakashi just fine, how can he not like one of his biggest fans? But he’s also now a romantic rival to his girl. His rather quiet bookworm type girl. Who did seem to be a good match to the quiet bookworm shinobi. Yet you opted to date Jiraiya instead. Why, he’s still not sure. You are quite the catch. You picked him and letting you in has warmed his heart as well as brightened his life.

You are holding a book, the one Jiraiya recommended to you when you mentioned you wanted to start reading some scarier things. Of course you brought it along. You bring a book with you everywhere. He’s an author and knows what books to look out for even if they aren’t competing in his genre... It’s one he’s read as well. He wanted to be the one to know what happens for once. He understood your giddy excitement whenever he talked about a plot point he made it to in one of the books you recommended to him. It was a special thing you and him had. He’s never had that before with someone. It fills him with a happy satisfaction that you chose the book he recommended to bring with you today.

At the same time, Jiraiya finds himself not liking you beside a different man talking about books. Especially not today. That’s a him and you thing. That’s how it should stay. He made up his mind. You... he wants you to be his.

Already not in a great mood since he had to deal with Naruto for like two hours, which was two hours not being with you, Jiraiya was ready to break that party up. He still has to offer and ask you something important. Most of his attention was rehearsing how he was going to phrase it to you while with his annoying interjecting student. At least Tsunade understood why he was in a rush to get what she wanted done. Which was a mislabeled and missing document on a mission he completed a month ago. Why it couldn’t wait, he didn’t know, she didn’t give up the details, and he was getting to the end of his patience.

“I didn’t think you would want to attend the festival. It’s usually for kids.” She noted.

“And lovers.” Jiraiya reminded her as he scowled.

“Oh that’s right. You’re seeing someone.”

She teased him about it and asked him if he made a wreath. That’s when he realized there’s a perfect opportunity at his doorstep. It was a bit of a blessing that Tsunade insisted on seeing him today. She gave him the perfect idea that would be perfect and honestly he felt foolish for not thinking about it sooner.

The first hour he spent getting annoyed with than being teased by his friend, the other hour he spent working on a project. It was hard to focus when Naruto was bouncing all over the trees begging for attention. Jiraiya is also not good at traditions or crafting. Half of his hasty adventure was spent doubting his abilities to ask you out with something so lacklustre, but he spent too much time away from you already. Hopefully you’ll accept what he’s made.... Hopefully some knucklehead he managed to escape from doesn’t ruin it.

Jiraiya left his perch to make himself known. Your face brightens when you notice him.

“You’re back.” You sound delightfully surprised.

“Yeah. Sorry. I hate leaving in the middle of things.” Jiraiya said as he approached. He offered you his hand to help you up.

You took it and he pulled you to your feet. His lips are on yours a second later in a passionate kiss. It was a little sudden but not unwelcome. Just as you get lost it the kiss breaks. He casts a look down to Kakashi, who hadn’t bothered to look up from his book. He rolls his eyes before returning his attention solely on you.

“I need to ask you something in private.” Jiraiya said with that foreign serious tone again.

“Oh... okay.” You agree and let him lead you away by your hand.

He headed deeper into the trees that break up certain areas of the village. Your gaze wandered up to watch the colourful canopies of the trees as they are an array of warm colours. The red and golds of fall that suit the Land of Fire as it prepares to get ready for winter. Its truly a marvellous sight as the whole forest is golden red. It’s the last bit of cozy before the blue and white of winter takes over. Your date stopped in the middle of a small clearing. Where the grass is yellow and the wild flowers are just barely holding on to the last bit of warmth.

You drop your gaze to watch a red leaf fall off a tree and gently float downwards. It passes by and falls in between you and Jiraiya. The wreath in your hand was beginning to feel heavy, as if suddenly made of stone. He’s still looking at you with some seriousness. His hand let go of yours just to caress your face.

Maybe things are turning out for the worst. He’s not usually so quiet unless something is wrong.

“If.... if you’re going to tell me something I don’t want to hear...” You spoke quietly. “Then I.. I rather you don’t didn’t say anything and leave.”

Alarm rises in his expression. He raises a brow. Perhaps he did take too long. Riddling you with doubt from his absence was not his intention. The wait will be worth it.

“Uh. No. I’m not going to do that.” Jiraiya said after a second. “Unless you don’t feel the same about me, then I’ll do the walk of shame.” He finally smiles again. It’s more sheepish as it dawns on him as to why you might mr doubtful. “I guess I have been really evasive about how I feel about you. Sorry... I wanted to wait until I was sure.”

A movement caught your attention. Jiraiya finally revealed what was behind his back, his hand has been behind it since he came back and his curtain of hair was doing well to hide whatever he had there.

It was a wreath. A simple one. It looked like it was caught in a wind storm as some of the leaves woven into the braided branch was forcibly removed from it. The branch itself was made from a weeping willow. The little tufts of fuzz accenting the wood like snow drops.

“Today of all days is... meant for this.” He spoke again as he held the wreath out to you. “Will you be mine and mine alone?”

You were stunned. He actually made you one? How sweet! He went all out and made it traditionally. The young branches of the weeping willow was intertwined and weaved in such lovely way. It was like a braid that was meticulously woven so that each twig was incorporated in an intricate yet simple pattern. You bowed your head forward and allowed him to crown you with it. He did so, making sure it sat level on your head. You touch it, feeling the soft wood on your head and brushing the fuzzy willows. It’s beautiful.

“Oh! I made you one!” You realized. You brashly present your wreath to him, too embarrassed and flushed to have any sort of grace.

“I did get a glimpse of it.” Jiraiya chuckles before bowing to allow you to crown him. “I thought it was for someone else.”

“No... only for you.” You say before placing it on his head as he did to you.

He stood straight up and took a moment to feel how it sat on his head. It looked good on him. A striking combination as the red stuck out so vividly against his hair. Maple suits him well. Much better than his forehead protector. He looks like he’s one with the forest. Like some kind of protective spirit of autumn.... elvish and ethereal. Kind and strong...

“Well,” Jiraiya took a step towards you and grabbed your waist. “I think there’s only one way to seal the deal.”

You lean into the kiss as he did. This kiss was a bit different than all the other ones. Still passionate and heated, but with some true feeling behind it. Like the confession had lifted all the restrictions he had about you. You feel the same about him. He could do so much more with you. Like really let you through the final barrier that kept you away and no longer fear what he feels. It’s been so long since he’s been in such a relationship. It feels good. The Festival of Changing Leaves is a good omen. With it he’ll begin to build a stronger and better bond with you. Perhaps even come to the realization that he may be in love with you.

The wonderful kiss broke. Jiraiya grins with his lips just a fraction away from yours. He went back in for a few times, using his thumb to pull down your bottom lip before sucking on it. He lifted your chin and went in around your neck, where his hickies have risen to the surface on your skin. He licked one before kissing it. The tips of some of the maple leaves kept brushing and scratching your cheek as he pays you so much attention. It’s perfect. You shut your eyes and moan quietly as he nibbles on the perfect spot.

His hands grip your sides. You hold your breath as you expected to be pressed against the closest tree or taken to the ground for some passionate celebrations over the union. He pushed you away. You look up at him with a flushed confused face. He pulled out the apple he won earlier. Why in the world would he want it now?

Jiraiya turned around the threw the apple with an intense amount of force. It soared through the air swiftly into the bushes. A hallow thunk and splat followed a second later as the fruit collided with something solid. A squawk of pain and surprise came from the foliage.

“Ow!” A blonde head poked out from the bushes. Naruto had apple bits on his forehead. “Pervy Sage no fair! What was that for?”

“For spying on me! Get lost, punk! I’m on a date!” Jiraiya scolded the boy.

“What weirdo would want to go out with you?”

“Don’t call her weird, have some respect for the lady!”

“That’s rich coming from you, you peeper!”

A furious blush overtook Jiraiya’s face. His cheeks matched his wreath. You swear his hair stands on end as he considers using some very special attacks to strangle the little crap for calling him out in front of you. He swears he only peeps on you now! You left your window open last night and he had to check on you. Thankfully, you giggle as they bicker back and forth. Perhaps you are a bit weird. Just look at who you are dating!

You grab his arm and hold it. Jiraiya looks back at you, his lips are turned into a hard frown and his cheeks are warm for once.

“Let’s go back to the festival. There’s still lots to do.” You say.

His pout relaxed. He sighs and nods.

“Alright. That sounds good.” Jiraiya agreed.

He escorted you back towards the festivities, gracefully stepping over Naruto as the pouting preteen was trying to pick the apple chunks out of his hair. Soon the smell of leaves is accompanied with cinnamon, pumpkin, and apples.

Jiraiya insisted on playing a few other games. As well as eat some of the snacks. The festival only lasts for a day after all! Between each game, you and him stop to try some of the food. All of them were pretty tasty. From pies to popcorn, all had their own fall twist to stay on theme. He helps you with some good advice and you win a few prizes. You give him one, it’s only fair since he won you something. It was a crochet bright orange pumpkin with a simple smiley face sewn into it and the whole thing was about the size of his palm. It is rather adorable and pocket size to always have it on him.

The sun was setting early as it always does with the turn of the season. By seven it was dusk and getting cold. The stalls were beginning to shut down. The carved pumpkins that the kids of Konoha had carved were set out on display and candles placed in them. Their different faces and scenes lit up while nestled by the trees and hay bales like lopsided friendly ghosts. None were all that scary but the kids that carved them were happy to show them off and see the others. They ran around putting their carvings together in sets.

“No! Put mine up front!” One would argue.

“Whaaa! Your pumpkin is bigger than mine!” The other would counter.

You chuckle with Jiraiya as the groups of kids argue.

“I remember doing this with my team.” He said. He smiles fondly at group of young children as they display their creations. His smile drops a little as if a less happy memory came to mind.

“Perhaps we can do it sometime.” You offer. You give his arm a good squeeze to give him some comfort. “I think you would be good at carving a pumpkin.”

“My hands are quite talented!” He brushed off his bad memory with a joke. He sweeps you off your feet and winks at you. “Perhaps I can show you back at your place?”

“Okay!”

He laughs before kicking up the dirt in his haste. You cling on as your fleet footed boyfriend made his way back to your home. Along the way, a few people stopped at the sight of you and him together. That included a certain masked man, who seemed neutral but happy as he walked with his excitable green clad friend, who gasped.

“Kakashi! Look at them! We should partake in such a youthful way to travel!”

“Wha-? Guy! Let go of me!”

It’s hard not to smile as you watch Guy wrangle Kakashi into his arms. The poor copy ninja was losing the struggle as Guy had manhandled him in a secure embrace before darting off. Despite that spectacle, people were more interested in seeing Jiraiya carry a woman around. Their eyes on you and him with an obvious approval and knowingness.

Jiraiya isn’t known for his participation in traditions. Mostly because he hasn’t had someone to participate it with. Now he does and for once... he looked genuinely happy beside someone. That’s what the heart of the festival is all about. Accept the change and relish in the warmth of company.

To shed the old and make way for change. You have done that by shedding your past relationship and fully embracing this one. No longer is there doubt when you are with this man. Jiraiya has done something similar, allowing himself to open up and love another. He loves spending his time with you. For once the autumn season is bringing him joy.

The night ended as it should have. Basking in the wonderful afterglow of sex and discussing books with someone who understood. You had to pick out the maple leaves from his hair and he pulled out willow tufts from yours while chuckling. You share plenty of kisses and thoughts with him before settling down to rest.

Fall and the up in coming winter will be so much warmer with Jiraiya around!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The start of a relationship can always be a tad awkward haha. Idk I came up with this on the spot from scratch I wanted to do something cute for the first day of autumn. I low key just love the introvert with the extrovert dynamic. I also figured most of you guys will understand being the quiet one that keeps to themselves and likes to read. 
> 
> Also real quick, the Japanese name for maple leaves means frog feet because of their shape how fucking perfect is that I just had to okay! And weeping willows are just underrated but very pretty, much like you dear reader ;)


	49. Dreams in the Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When that first really cold rain happens in fall, it triggers something. It’s something that you can’t really help even though you try. No matter how you try, Jiraiya’s nightmares just won’t go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Naruto era one! One where the crew is just traveling and training. It’s mostly just hurt and comfort. Because we all know cuddles solve almost every problem.

Every fall it happens. After the first cold shower. The damp smell of leaves hit the air and that ice cold breeze of approaching winter was all around. It rained cold pellets after dusk but not quite night. In that strange late twilight it did rain for hours. For part of it, your husband stood in the icy rain. His face towards the sky with eyes shut. You called him to come back, worried he’ll catch a cold. When Jiraiya turned to look at you, there was that tired look in his eyes. He knew it. You knew it.

The next week is going to be rough.

This time it’s in the security of a closed building at least. Well sorta... it’s one of the many abandoned buildings that are scattered across the land. A small one room house with a destroyed hearth being the only remaining piece of evidence that this was once a simple but warm home. At least it was shelter.

Last year when it started, you and Jiraiya were in the middle of camping. It was hard to keep a low profile when he yells and thrashes in the middle of an echoing forest. It felt very exposing. Thankfully, no one came to do anything bad. It just had you on edge. Nothing you did woke him up. He was stuck in his horrible dream until he awoke by himself. He was shaking and pale. He told you he was fine and to go back to bed. It was never spoken of again.

This year should be interesting. You and Jiraiya aren’t alone. This year, you and him are the caretakers and teachers to a young man. In many ways, Naruto’s presences has been a good thing. Perhaps him being here will calm some of Jiraiya’s bad dreams.

Thankfully Naruto was a very heavy sleeper. Super heavy. The boy could sleep though a tornado. Still so, you know that Jiraiya would prefer to have some space. Only the truly brave can handle those flailing limbs. You set his cot up against the far wall and told him to trust you. You knew it would happen soon.

You set yourself and Jiraiya on the opposite side of the room. He barely noticed. He merely collapsed upon the cot with his face buried in the pillow the moment it was rolled out. He doesn’t sleep well during the fall months because he didn’t like to. He’s aware he gets seasonal nightmares and they are most prevalent in fall.

He does the same thing every year. Jiraiya pulls several all nighters before his body physically cannot handle another night of no sleep. You’ve tried to tell him it’s not healthy. He can’t prolong the inevitable and dwelling on it only makes it worse. He always ignores you. The reasoning being that this is how he always handled it. He stays awake and struggles throughout the day. He can barely talk. He can barely walk. He’s hardly suited to train a young man. Half the time he’s snickering about something he thought and is too tired to articulate what the hell had him in stitches. He becomes a little too clingy at times as well. Jiraiya will drape himself over you like a heavy blanket, using his size to overcome yours. Sometimes he insists on walking while holding you in a bear hug.

At the third day mark he begins to hallucinate. Mostly all auditory. He’ll stop suddenly and look off in some random direction asking you quietly if you heard that. It’s very worrisome. One would think he would just stop once that happens. But he pushes through it with the hopes of being so tired he just blacks out without dreaming. If he ever got too sleepy before he was ready to go to bed, he does random things to wake himself up. He yells. He’ll pour water over his head. Most times he’ll just pace in circles as his exhausted brain thinks too much. It’s very flawed logic.

It never works. You watch him as it starts. You can’t sleep when you know he’s only going to suffer. He’s tossing and turning. Sweat began to build on his body. His heart is pounding hard. You can hear it in the otherwise silent room.

“N... No...” He gasps in the word.

It’s then he begins to thrash. Jiraiya has always been a very animated sleeper. He rolls and flips. His leg will twitch when he’s running in a dream. He breaths deeply when he’s climbed mountains to the very top in his dreams. He starfishes when he dreams of floating on water. One time he even summoned a toad in his slumber... they weren’t impressed. He may or may not have had some explicit dreams with some explicit results in his body. He promised they were about you with a flirty wink.

“I could show you better than I could tell you~!” He always suggests when you ask for the dirty details.

His nightmares are no different, yet much worse. His legs twitch. His arms tense. He hyperventilates. He tosses and turns. He claws at the sheets and ground. His face gets screwed up in a mix of horrible emotions. Fear, pain, worry. He yelps and cries.

“No! N..” he whimpers oh so sadly in his sleep. It’s like a tragedy is playing before his eyes.

The details of what terrorized Jiraiya’s mind at night was still a mystery to you. He’s never told you. He probably won’t ever will. Even though you’ve been with him for many years, he’s embarrassed to tell you. As of sharing dreams or what scares him will ruin this very loving relationship. It’d be better if he did. Perhaps talking about it will help. Or you could at least help him banish the monsters that haunt his mind if you understand what they are.

Jiraiya opens his mouth and inhaled deeply. The worst is over. He’s now just breathing heavily. His limbs relax but his fingers are still clenching. They’ve moved to clutch at his shirt. He’s holding his chest and abdomen like they’ve been struck. A shaky exhale followed.

“You’re okay, honey.” You coo at him.

Sometimes talking at him helps. As if your voice calls him back to reality. A whimper was his response. You adjust yourself to be cuddling right up beside his arm. From there you touch and stroke sections of his hair. He likes having his hair played with. Pulling back the fringe from his face by pinching small sections and pushing them back and twirling locks around your finger is a great comfort to him. You did it for him before he drifted off to sleep. He simply sighed and grumbled something unintelligible before passing out, but he didn’t look so stressed. You are here.

Perhaps reminding him that you are here will banish the bad dreams. Last year Jiraiya was mostly inconsolable. Even if you did talk to him and try to shake him awake, he didn’t calm down. Leaving him to yell is not something you can do in good conscience. He’s the man you love! His dreams are bringing him pain. You can’t stand to see him in pain. This year will be better. It just has to be.

“Nothing is wrong.” You promise.

The furrow on his brow relaxes. Behind his lids his eyes are still moving around rapidly. There’s still some vivid things happening in his head. The expression on his face looked like he was processing something. Was it bad? Was it good? A deep breath was your only reply. It didn’t say much.

That small bit of reassurance seemed to be enough. Jiraiya looks like he normally does when he’s heavily asleep. Face neutral, body relaxing. His breathing slow and even. His eyes are still moving, as if searching for something.

“There we go.” You sigh in relief.

This year will be good. Maybe his insomnia habit had finally paid off. He was barely able to blink before bedtime without his head dipping and body stumbling as he fell asleep standing. You rest your head. Since Jiraiya is ready to sleep peacefully, so are you.

A scream. A loud scream. A real shriek. A hollow scream of mourning and sadness. Like a banshee had suddenly just walked into the house and let loose their grief. It cut the dead silence of the room like a siren.

It startled you. You jumped and stared wide eyed. He’s never done that before. Jiraiya doesn’t scream ever. It feels like your heart has jumped up to your throat. That was the type of scream where it freezes the blood in your veins from the dread it brings.

For a moment you weren’t sure what to do. It was scary. Hearing someone you love scream bloody murder is terrifying. It’s a noise that hardly anyone ever hears in real life. It took a moment to sit up. Your body wasn’t sure what to do with that surge of energy his scream roused in you.

You had to wake him up! Whatever he’s dreaming of has to stop. His head his moving back in forth in a violent disagreement of whatever he’s seeing. He’s pulling at his clothes desperately like something was overtop of him and he couldn’t get away from it.

“Jiraiya!” You call his name.

You reach out and grab his shoulders. Just as you do, he sits up. He stopped his haunting shriek. His mouth hung open as his eyes are wide. He is pale with stress. His chest his heaving for air. A bead of sweat rolls down the side of his face. His pupils are small and frantic as they search the room.

They lock with yours.

The words he says next are telling and heart breaking.

“Yo... you’re okay?...” his voice is a hoarse croak. It’s exhausted and frail. It’s... small. It lacks its normal grandiose and confidence. Paired with his wide eyes it was more like you were going to comfort a terrified child.

You wrap your arms around him. He remains tense. He sighs. His face turns to bury into the crook of your neck and his hands grip the back of your shirt.

“I’m fine. Are you okay?” You ask.

“... Yes...” Jiraiya spoke quietly.

That wasn’t very convincing. You pet his head and give it a gentle kiss. Soon you find yourself rocking back and forth to comfort him. Jiraiya does begin to relax. His breathing began to become even again. All his tense muscles began to uncoil. You can feel his eyes close, his lashes brushing against your neck.

When Jiraiya fell back, you follow. You didn’t have much choice. He clung onto you and refused to let go. You adjust yourself until you are laying comfortably overtop of him. He did seem more calm now. His heartbeat isn’t as rapid. His breathing is more deep and even. His tense body was now limp.

“Did you want to talk about it?” You ask him.

“No.”

You sigh. Why? Why is he so stubborn about this? It’s not like admitting he has bad dreams will make you think less of him. You’ve been witness to what his horrible dreams does to him. Knowing the subject won’t change your perspective. Even if it’s as silly as tap dancing spiders or as horrible as an eldritch creature made of bloody flesh and claws that is chasing him down with no mercy. Everyone has bad dreams.

“I love you, no matter what you dream about.” You whisper.

His fingers grip the back of your shirt. He inhales, holds it, then let’s it out. His pulse quickens again.

“I... I don’t want you to think I’m weak.”

You turn your head towards him and place a kiss on his cheek. Your hand moves from his hair to nestle against his cheek.

“I could never think that.” You assure, your voice in a whisper.

He sighs again and squeezes you in a tighter hug. He’s holding you as if he had lost you.

“You died in front of me... and I hated it.” Was all Jiraiya said, his voice barely audible.

It must have some rather grim imagery that his mind conjured up. What did his nightmare depict? How did you meet your end? You smile and simply comb his damp hair away from his face again. It’s best not to ask. For now, you reassure him.

“I won’t ever do that, okay?”

A soft laugh came from Jiraiya. That’s a large promise. One both you and him know that it’s almost impossible to keep. Yet it gives him a wave of comfort. Yes... you won’t get hurt. Not while he’s around. You sit up just enough to kiss him. He smiles before relaxing his lips to give you some proper kisses. He feels much better.

“Let’s go back to bed.” You say.

“Okay.” He agreed with a deep breath.

Jiraiya didn’t let you go. He rolled to his side where he’s most comfortable and held you tightly against him. As always his nightmares steal more strength than they restore. Within moments he’s almost asleep. Especially with your gentle hand playing with his hair again.

“Goodnight.” You whisper.

“Hm..” Was the sleepy response you got.

A smile grows on your lips. Good. Good he’s asleep again. He needs his rest. Hopefully it’ll be a peaceful one now. You look over his shoulder and see a small figure peering from across the room. Naruto blinks at you, silently pondering if he should say something. The last few days have been weird for him. You were uneasy and Jiraiya was half crazy from lack of sleep.

You let go of Jiraiya’s back to raise your finger to your lips. Who knows how much Naruto heard. That scream could have rallied the dead. You know Jiraiya well enough to know he would be mortified if Naruto said anything.

“Go back to bed.” You utter in a calm and motherly tone. The youngster liked it when you spoke so lovingly to him. “We’ll see you in the morning.”

“Oh... okay.” Naruto was hesitant. He slowly looks over Jiraiya with worry.

“Everything is fine, I promise.”

He still was hesitant. After a moment, he nodded. You watch him lay back down. Soon soft snores come from the other side of the room. With both your boys back asleep, you can finally go to bed as well. You rest your head with your forehead pressed against Jiraiya’s chest. With the beat of his steady heart as your lullaby, it was easy to fall asleep.

In the morning, no one talked about it. There was a sense of peace in the air. Jiraiya took some time sitting at the doorway. The rundown house was missing it’s door and the frame was broken. His body blocked most of the cool air coming in. He was awake before anyone else. He brushed out the tangles in his hair as he watched the gentle drizzle of the morning rain. Sometimes the grey sight is a little calming. It’s certainly nostalgic.

There’s plenty reasons autumn makes him so sad. In the rain... the smell of blood can sometimes still be picked up. Occasionally he can still see three small figures awaiting him to return. The orange of the turning leaves reminding him of the fur of a certain demon. The yellow of the man who sealed it and the red of the woman who once bared it. All of these events happened when the leaves had begun to fall and the wind was cold. The bare and frosty days that follow only seem to be a reflection of his feelings.

You crawl up from behind and hold him. His head tilts and his cheek rests against yours. This time reminds him of so much loss. Yet it’s a good reason to remember what he still has. Perhaps that’s what he should think about at the turn of the cold season. The family he still has... One that has grown. He shut his eyes and reached around with his free hand to run his fingers through your hair. He feels quite lucky to have a spouse like you. You understood him. You understood his time worn wounds that have yet to heal. Yet they feel bandaged now. Not yet scabbed over, but they are at least protected.

These feelings are why Jiraiya so scared to lose you. It’s all he dreams about in autumn. Last night it was so vivid he was sure something bad had happened. He just... loves you so much. He would break down into screaming, unable to do anything else to process your death. You were limp in his arms but still warm. He was too late. He couldn’t protect you. He had failed once again.

That won’t happen. Jiraiya turned his head to give your cheeks a kiss. A smile grows on your face and you happily return the affectionate little peck to his cheek.

“Are you feeling better?” You ask.

“Yeah, but I’m still tired.”

You coo at him. You pet his hair back from his face. It soothes his exhausted worries. It would be so easy to fall asleep like this. All he had to do was rest his head on your shoulder and relax. His heavy eyes didn’t want to open again. Your scent. Your warmth. Having you alive so close to him was lulling him to sleep.

“Alright! Let’s go!” Naruto cheered as he leaped over the two cuddling adults. He landed in a pile of damp leaves out in the rain. He turns around and grins. “You awake enough to finally keep up, Pervy Sage?”

As always, the energy of this child ruins his plans. Jiraiya sat straight up and blinked. He’s still tired. Not as tired as he was. He’s awake enough to match Naruto’s sass.

“Keep up?” Jiraiya retorted in offence. “I could’ve out trained you without a week of sleep!”

“Uh huh! As if! Senior citizens need at least eight hours.”

“Senior!”

You grab your husband as he stood up, he was ready to fight this kid for calling him old. You aren’t particularly fond of them butting heads. Naruto stuck his tongue out defiantly which only amped up Jiraiya more. He slipped from your grasp and chased the boy around, who was elated to expend some energy.

You watch the two boys with bemusement. The grin on Naruto’s face was contagious. The more wicked one on Jiraiya’s betrayed that he was having some fun. He did like being childish sometimes. At heart still was a kid. This is good. Expending his energy in a good way will help. He needs to unwind with some of that lighthearted fun. Maybe tonight he will rest peacefully.

Little did you know that this event would start a new sleeping ritual. At nightfall after a day of goofing around in the rain, Naruto asked to sleep closer. He didn’t like being so far away. You agreed when Jiraiya was indifferent. He held you tightly like he had the night before which was all he wanted. Naruto inched closer and closer until his head rested on Jiraiya’s side and body pressed against his back. It was clear Naruto didn’t want to hear or see his mentor have another night terror. He wished to be close in hopes to help fend off the terrors like you had.

Jiraiya lifted his arm and pulled Naruto a little bit closer. He adjusted, finding it hard to include his annoying yet very lovable student in this cuddle. He rolled onto his back and pulled his two favourite people close. You grumbled something in your half asleep state, clearly displeased with your husband manhandling you as you try to rest. You were quick to stop complaining as your head rested on his chest. Your arm wrapped around him and you settled down. Naruto was a full on dead weight. He barely reacted to be switched around until his cheek was nuzzled against Jiraiya’s abdomen. It was the perfect height to keep his hand rested on the lad’s head of fluffy hair. Naruto did raise his arm to hold onto Jiraiya like he was an oversized teddy bear.

With the cuddle pile now complete, rest was much easier to come by. Being surrounded by family had reassured Jiraiya. Two wonderful people are looking out for him. The warmth of being so loved had finally chased the bad dreams away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we all agree that this man would love head scratches? Like I feel like most people do but there’s something so comforting about having someone play with your hair and he need that comfort. Pet. Pet the man. Give him the scratchy scratchy. 
> 
> I’m thinking of looking up an inspiration list for October to write some spooky stuff! Let me know if any come to mind my friends.


	50. Fire and Oil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request from a lovely reader! 
> 
> Falling in love was always difficult for him. It seemed his heart always picked women he couldn’t have. After so many years of wishing and wanting... Jiraiya has quietly resigned himself to losing you as well. He can’t love his teacher’s daughter. It’s too difficult! But when he sees you beside a different man, that burning fire of jealousy lights inside of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a lengthy ones bois. It’s angsty too! Not everything works out well in this one. 
> 
> Also this is all from Jiraiya’s perspective! I tried me best and it turned out nice as a result! Or nice in my opinion lol. I simply hope you enjoy!

Jealousy is a mysterious emotion.

Jiraiya stopped several feet away, using the trunk of a tree to hide himself as he watched you converse with Kakashi. His fingers are gripping the bark hard as he stares at the pair. Couple... Good... Good for you. He should be happy. Kakashi is a much better option than he is. Closer to your age and being a long time friend makes Kakashi a good candidate. Much better than a perverted old man...

Yet seeing you beside a different man makes Jiraiya rather angry. That should be him! You should be sitting in a tree with him laughing. Your anxieties and worries gone with his comforts. Instead seeing you smile at whatever the other man said made Jiraiya’s throat constrict. Like he swallowed fire and it sat in his chest.

“She’s not yours!” His brain harshly reminded. “You have no right to feel this way.”

You should be his. He’s loved you long enough. He should just walk right up to you, grab your hips, shove you against that tree and smash his mouth against yours. A real kiss. A good kiss. Any kind of kiss. Any kiss would be better than the one he already gave you.

It was a spur of moment thing. Out on a mission with you, stalking the target, when the person in question began to become suspicious. To avoid a confrontation, you and him needed a quick cover. Jiraiya reacted quickly. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you against him. He pressed his lips against yours. You inhaled sharply in surprise. You went rigid for a moment, then quickly relaxed. Your lips reacted and moved with his. Your hands went into his hair as you pulled your body against his. It was if everything clicked into place.

His conscience returned to him. As if a mini him was knocking on his head to remind him he’s tonguing his teacher’s daughter. He broke the kiss quickly and uttered a staggered apology. You looked dazed and flushed. Your fingers still gripping his shirt as your knees wobbled. It was good.... but not at the same time.

He could do better.

No! Don’t think that... You aren’t his. You can’t be his.

Ever since, Jiraiya kept his distance. It hurt you, he could tell. The conflicting feelings ran rampant inside of him for the whole rest of the mission. His quick thinking meant the target moved on being less suspicious of the two people following them. It was just two lovers in wanderlust.... Lovers... Love...

Jiraiya left you the moment he could. Breaking off at the village gate and weaving into the crowd to deter you from following. Being near you was... confusing. He needs space to think.

He’s not sure if he needs space anymore.

Jiraiya ignored protocol to wander around to mull his feelings over. It seems you ignored protocol too and went to speak to your childhood friend. Perhaps more than just a friend. That jump to his heart happened again when he came across the sight before him now. It ruefully reminded him of reality. There’s already someone out there that is better for you. You probably didn’t have feelings for him. He just... misread things.

“You are too old for her. She need a man her age.” His conscience reminded him again. “Think of what it would do. The war torn aftermath you’ll leave in your wake if you make a move.”

If physically possible, he’d turn to the voice in his head and shout ‘Well no shit!’ Of course he knows that! It’s cruel! As if whatever god controls fate is snickering at him as he falls for woman he can’t have... Again! Again god damn it! If he could get away kicking the dust without looking like a mad man, he would. He’ll settle for picking the bark from the tree as he glares at Kakashi with a growing ire.

You are the eldest daughter of Hiruzen Sarutobi. That’s right. You are the daughter of the god damn Hokage. Falling in love with you was as good as signing a written consent form to die. Ever since Asuma rebelled and left in his youth to fight other battles, Hiruzen held onto you a little tighter. He’s gained a reputation for being rather protective of you. He wanted the best for you. Despite the fact that you can kick ass and take no crap, your father is ready to protect you no matter if you wanted him to or not.

In the past, Hiruzen has been vocal on your choice in men. He rarely approved. He’s also been vocal on Jiraiya’s antics when it came to romance. It’s clear he believes Jiraiya is a little too trashy for any woman of standing. When you came of age, Hiruzen did make a few lighthearted jokes but they had an edge of seriousness to them. Don’t date his daughter.

Despite that warning, Jiraiya found himself in love with you. To be fair, he hasn’t dated you. He just wishes he was. He would like to. He would love to. He wants to make you his. He would love nothing more than to snatch you away from Kakashi’s side and put you beside him. You are his other half.

Everything about you compliments Jiraiya. Your face is nice to look at. Your body is perfect. Which is complimentary for him to stare at. He could spent hours just staring at you. It’s probably a little cliché to say you really bloomed into your beauty, but it’s true. You were a bit of an awkward duck in your youth, but grew into one hell of a beauty. Your wit is as sharp as his. You and him in a room together can get lively. The conversation could never end. It rarely does. Only basic needs get in the way of talking to you. Like sleep. Or eating. Even then he’s tired from sleep deprivation and eating cold food because he didn’t want to stop the conversation.

Even your fighting style works so well with him. It ought to. You were trained by your father. As a student of Hiruzen as well, if felt absolutely natural for Jiraiya to be your partner in missions. You and him collaborate like it was meant to be. The differences that are natural to how you fight compliment him. You think fast on your feet. You had different solutions to problems. Most times they were better than his ideas. Your clan is known for strong elemental attacks. You are no different and the fire you can conjure is strong. Jiraiya has even seen it flicker blue from how hot it comes from your mouth or hands. When combined with highly flammable toad oil, it makes a deadly forever burning concoction. When both you and him blow out fireballs together to ignite oil, the flames twist together and create something unique. It burns through anything. A fire so hot and eternal it can never be put out. People have been stricken with awe at the sight of it.

What if he ruins that? Walking up to you and telling you he loves you is harder than it sounds. What if you don’t feel the same? The years of being amazing friends would fall apart. It would all crumble. You would turn him down and you could never act normal around him again. Eventually you will just stop seeing him out of awkwardness. Then you would move on and be with someone you love.

He can deal being with your friend and watch you love someone else so long as he got to stay near you... it sounds vaguely familiar. He did something similar with Tsunade. He suffered, but he lived with it. How hard can it be to do a second time?

There’s also the possibility of ruining his relationship with Hiruzen. Like good job doing the one thing his teacher asked him not to do. Hiruzen is not an easy man to read, so it’s hard to imagine what he’ll do to poor Jiraiya. Then there’s the rest of your family to deal with. Dating you did mean your whole family would be involved. Isn’t your eldest sibling an Anbu commander? So is their spouse? So like he could be murdered and no one would know. Asuma is rather laid back, but it could be hard to completely win him over. Lest we forget little Konohamaru, who has a reputation for being a pain. You’ve told stories of how your nephew had practically tortured your last beau with his childish pranks. That’s a lot to deal with. Yet Jiraiya is finding himself not minding so much anymore. He can handle most of your family. It’s mostly just Hiruzen he’s terrified of now.

Should he ask? You are an adult. This is a progressive society. He doesn’t need to ask for your hand. But it would be polite given the circumstances, wouldn’t?

What the hell does he say?

“Hey teach! You know your daughter? The one who I am eighteen years older than and once babysat for you when she was little? Guess what? I wanna date her! And I relish in the idea of you seeing us together imagining all the dirty things I’m doing to your little girl~!”

Or perhaps that’s just his Id being unusually cruel to him.

Desperately pining for you or not, Jiraiya does have to face you eventually. You’ve been a little weird around him too since he kissed you. It wigged him out. You must regret it. Or grown resentful. He can’t just sit here and dwell on it. Hopefully just ignoring it will repair the damage he caused and everything will fall back into the comfortable place it once was.

He buries the immediate need to sneer at Kakashi. What good will it do being an asshole? You aren’t his to be jealous over. You might already be Kakashi’s. If that’s the case, Jiraiya will bury his feelings to the core of the earth and attempt to be happy for you. He’d rather just go home and leave it for a while. To simply lay in bed and groan in pain for a few hours while wishing fate was nice to him for once. Alas, protocol has been ignored long enough. Enough to get a hawk sent to him with a harsh reminder from Hiruzen how he ain’t no exception to any rule. Neither are you. It was time to round up and give a full report to your dearest father.

Your smile drops when you notice him. Your eyes widen a little. You visibly tense and fall quiet. Kakashi looked at you, then Jiraiya, then back at you. His brow raises but he didn’t say anything. What? That was a little judgmental. It would be quite satisfying to flick the younger man in the forehead like one does to a disobedient dog.

“There you are.” Jiraiya said with a forced smile. “I was looking for you. The old man insists we report in together.”

“Okay.” You say with a nod.

You bid Kakashi a quick farewell before hopping down from the branch. Your masked companion waved you off before nestling back into the tree and cracking open his book. You trail behind Jiraiya as he moved swiftly to get this over with.

“Slow down, oh tall one!” You yell at him. “My legs are shorter than yours!”

He shortened his strides and slowed his pace. You caught up and breathed a sigh of relief to walk at a normal pace. You turn to smile at your friend, but he won’t even cast his eyes your way. You frown.

“Jiraiya?” You call for his attention.

“Yes?” He continues to stare ahead, barely glancing his eyes in your direction. He just... didn’t know how to act around you now.

“Did I do something?... Are you mad at me?”

His expression twitches. His brow and mouth flinching down into a scowl for a moment before returning to that cold neutral. This is already getting difficult.

“No... I’m not mad at you.” Was all he said.

You don’t really believe that. From the corner of his eye he can see your face change into sorrow. He’s upset you. This.... this is why he shouldn’t act on his feelings. What if it’s like this all the time? Ruining the last really long friendship he had was something he really didn’t want to do.

Sigh.

Why are feelings so complicated?

It’s too late anyways. You looked awful comfortable beside Kakashi. It may feel like someone is walking up to Jiraiya and stabbing him in the chest, but meh... wouldn’t be the first time. He’s had years of practice. What’s another woman he let go? So long as you are happy he’s happy too.

The climb up the stairs to reach the Hokage’s office has been very quiet. Close. So close to just getting this over with. Once he is, he plans to do something to get his mind off of this. Maybe drink. Hang out in a hot spring. Try and find some joy in his old habits. Just as you and him reached the final hall to the Hokage’s office, you grab his hand.

“Jiraiya please. Tell me what’s wrong?” You ask him.

He turns back to face you. Your eyes are searching his, desperately seeking an answer. His hand moves before his brain could stop it. His fingers brush up to and caress your cheek. Your skin is soft. It’s warm. Young. There’s a rosy hue to them after a few moments of having his hand on you.

Even this was probably too telling. You are looking up at him, eyes transfixed on his face. Your lips parted ever so slightly. He licks his own lips, wishing he could devour yours in a hungry kiss. He stares at them for a moment before returning his gaze back to your eyes. His thumb moves to rub over your cheek in a gentle way.

“There’s a lot wrong... but it’s best I don’t talk about it.” Jiraiya answers you quietly. “You deserve better.”

“Jiraiya...”

“You look good beside Kakashi. He’s probably the only man I’d approve of.”

Despite not being a fan of the masked man at the moment, it was true. Kakashi would make a good romantic partner to you. A childhood friend of yours who understood your troubles. You lost your genin team when you were young much like how Kakashi had. War takes a lot of things. Minato was the one who originally suggested that you and Kakashi should be paired up on missions. You are more outgoing than Kakashi is, but you seemed to stabilize the young man when he was at his lowest and most erratic. His rock when all his other rocks had washed away in bigger storms. When Jiraiya wasn’t available to comfort you, you went to Kakashi. Lot’s of people already assume you are dating him. Even Hiruzen approved of it, having had said to Jiraiya that the aloof Kakashi was more expressive and happy around you. It hurt to hear. You make someone happy. It’s just not who Jiraiya wish it was.

The smile on Jiraiya’s face isn’t all that happy. It’s melancholy. Like someone who was kicked down in a fight but graciously accepted defeat. He wishes to hold his head high. To be the bigger person. He’ll resign himself to his role as your more brotherly friend. Someone you trust and someone you know will never hurt you. He’ll be that person that he always was for you and nothing more.

“But you know if he ever pulled anything, I’d kick his ass for you.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but he stepped away and continued to walk. He didn’t want to hear what you had to say. It’d most likely just hurt more. He can’t stand to stew in the moment. The quicker he gets to the office the quicker this didn’t have to come up again.

“Jiraiya!” You call his name sharply, like you were prepared to scold him.

He turned around, mouth open and ready to tell you to drop it. Surprise froze up his body as you were only a centimetre away. Your expression was both flustered and angry. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked.

Your lips collided with Jiraiya’s. There was a quiet clink as the rushed and poor execution of the kiss had your teeth bump against his. It quickly regained its composure. The stiff surprise left Jiraiya and he adjusted. He placed his arms around you and angled his head. It allowed him to push back. His lips moving and opening in time with yours. The tip of your tongue so eagerly pressed against his.

It felt like both sparks and butterflies. A flurry of tingles up his spine and flutters that clouded his brain. He’s kissing you. It was more than the tense smooch he gave you before. It felt so right. Your lips fit against his in this interlock like two perfect puzzle pieces. Your body belonged so close to his.

It broke after a few seconds. Seconds that felt like minutes. He focused so hard on how good it felt the world faded. The red walls and dark wood floors all seem to lose their details. All he cared about was you. You look at him with an expression that said it all. Your eyes soft and affectionate as you held fistfuls of his shirt to keep him in place.

“I’m not with Kakashi.” You said quietly. “I don’t like him like how I like you.”

“I just figured since you two were such close friends...”

A quiet chuckle comes from you. You release one hand from his shirt just to grab the back of his neck and push him down for another kiss. He leans down and gladly accepts. It’s as wonderful as he hoped it would be.

“You can be so dense sometimes.” Your voice was soft and amused.

Jiraiya turns his lips into a small pout. Being called stupid by you isn’t new, but it didn’t feel suited in this context. He holds your eyes with a silent question. What did you mean?

“I had to speak to someone who understood me almost as well as you do.” You explain yourself. “Because I needed to be told that my feelings were valid. I was scared you didn’t feel the same.” 

You paused for a moment. Your expression drops. The sight of your sadness made Jiraiya’s heart do some sort of wild dance in his chest. He made you sad... you don’t have to say it for him to know. Your hand slid back down his skin. It leaves more tingles in it’s wake. You push under his kosode so your hand touched his chest. Not just his chest, but right over his heart. His hand slowly rose until he grasped it, holding your hand there. It felt so... warm. A comfortable warmth spread through his chest. Yet it also choked his throat. As if you were going to say something he wouldn’t like.

“You grew so distant after you kissed me. I was scared you weren’t attracted to me...”

There’s a heavy tension in the air as you stall on your words. That’s a thing all Sarutobi tend to do. They can command a room with their heavy slow words. Jiraiya hangs on your every single one. He searches your eyes as you do to his. Does he say something? Your lips are parted to speak again. He breathes in and holds it as he anticipated what they could be. You look so conflicted but... not. You still look worried that you may be in the wrong. You breathe in and out to steady your normally unshakable nerves.

“I have fallen in love with you.”

Even though spoken so softly, it had the force of a wave. It struck Jiraiya in the lungs. He lost the air in his body. Your confession was everything he needed. With a new breath, he felt like he was new man. One not so miserable and lonely. He quickly became caught in that weird zone of overwhelming emotions. Does he laugh? Does he cry? Does he simply collapse? Does he cheer like he won a game or scream in relief as all the stress left him?

His best friend. A girl who grew up after he had yet he got along with so wonderfully. One he helped flourish and thrive. One he comforted. One who comforted him. One who knows practically everything about him. One who never left and always waited for him when he did. One he loves.

You...

You love him.

There’s only one thing he can say to that.

“I love you.”

The smile on your face was beautiful. Heavenly. He could stare at it all day. From now on he’ll do everything to keep that wonderful smile on your face. Being around it was like the sun. Warm and welcoming. He could bask in its glow until it sets, and when it leaves he’ll spend so many long hours missing it.

Jiraiya kisses you again. You hold his face and completely melt in it. A muffled note leaves your throat when he grabs your hips. Within a few moments, you and him were gasping between heated kisses. He turned you until he could back you up against the closest wall. Once your back hit it, it only got more heated. Your hands moved all over his torso. Hips, chest, ass. The kiss broke when your hand gently, almost like a ghost, grazed his crotch.

Well... the only thing to do is return the favour. He grabbed your leg and raised it until it pressed against his hip. From there he ran his hand up to your ass and up your top. It slowly moved back down the centre of your chest to your waist. He pushed his hand under your pants.

His other hand dragged down the wood of the wall. Good god! Now that he could touch, he never wanted to stop. There’s an immediate heat that sparked between you and him. Like fire and oil. One the fed and sustained the other in an equal exchange. He couldn’t undo your pants with one hand. He’s being hasty. Every little touch was exhilarating. By how you gasped and moaned to the smallest press of his fingers, you must feel the same.

Something caught Jiraiya’s hand just before he intended to move it closer to your ass. Now that he was pressed against you, he could move to make you straddle him and he could touch all he wanted. On impulse he twisted his hand around the knob... Knob?

The wall wasn’t a wall at all.

The door did what it was invented for and gave way. You land with a thunk to the ground with him on top. A weak wheeze follows as his weight and the surprise had knocked the air out of you.

“Sorry! I uh didn’t realize until it was too late.” Jiraiya apologized.

You merely laugh. A light hearted delighted laugh. You raise your hands from the floor as you tried to catch yourself. You caress his face before moving your hands into his hair. You comb his fringe away from his face. It was calming. A caress only a lover would do.

“It’s fine.” You say with a lick of your lips. “The room is empty... isn’t it?”

Jiraiya looks up from your flirtatious face. Indeed... this is an empty room he so graciously discovered. With a long table meant for nobles and leaders to meet. The chairs are all stacked in the corner. That meant there was plenty of room around the table. He looks back down to you. When your eyes connect with his, you bite your lip and your body rocks against him.

That was enough of a hint. You want it. He wants it. He really wants it. He has for a long time. There’s no guilt or fear in thinking of it now. All those pent up feelings towards one another has made you and him eager.

Jiraiya sat up on his knees and reached behind to shut the door. In the meantime you had gotten to your feet and strutted to the table. You turned and sat on the very edge. Your face held an eager grin that was all that more enticing when you beckoned him over with a finger. He crawled forward and was quickly kneeling before you. He pulled your pants off before standing, kissing the bare skin of your thigh along the way.

You helped him with your shirt, raising your arms as he pulled it up. In one fluent motion you were stripped to your underwear. You reached out and grabbed his sash. You pulled it free of the knot and the layers just fell off of him with only a slight shrug of his arms. He smiled when you looked him over.

It was strangely not weird. Seeing you naked and you seeing him naked. Usually when two friends become lovers there’s that awkward feeling in the air of finally breaching that unspoken barrier. But it’s not all that strange. You help him with his pants and eagerly touch his stiffening cock. It sent a jolt of excitement through his body. There’s only a few things in the way now. He took your bra off. It was hard as you only wanted to touch him. Your arms angled down and hands on his body. You weren’t afraid to touch him. He most certainly is not afraid to touch you. He fondled your breasts with a curiousness and appreciation. They are just the right size, falling into his palms nicely. He leaned forward while kissing you.

It forced you to lay back down. Your hand retreated and your legs spread wide to accommodate him in between them. Jiraiya was quite comfortable laying over top of you. Your body is just the right amount of soft and pillowy. He placed kisses all down your neck as he hooked his thumb around the crotch of your wet panties. Again a jolt of thrilling joy coursed in his veins at feeling your excitement. He moved the fabric out of the way. You held onto his shoulders and gasped in a breath in anticipation. Hopefully he doesn’t disappointment.

By how you cry and moan from every inch he pushes in, that sounded like a no. Your legs wrapped around his waist. The tips of your fingers dig into his skin as he began to thrust. The noises you continue to make only make him want to go on. It’s everything he’s wanted. It’s better than he ever could have imagined.

“Fu... hn!” Your voice trailed off to a whine. Your nails grasp harder at him.

It hurts so good. You cling on with such a desperation that it motivates him to go harder. If he sports some scratches after this, he’ll be in heaven for days. They’re the only wounds he’ll hold with pride. It doesn’t take long for your back to arch off the table as you cry out. Jiraiya grit his teeth throughout your climax. There’s a lewd squish between your body and his. He just barely had a grip on himself. This feels so good it’s hard to keep his head thinking.

“Keep going!” You say. Your voice is breathless. “I need you.”

“Okay!” He eagerly agreed.

He flipped you onto your belly. He took ahold of your hips and brought you to him. Your cries are more quiet as his weight on you and the hard table underneath you constricted your lungs. Your nails dragged across the smooth wooden surface of the table. Your body bounced with each motion. Each grunt was breathless and your legs began to shake from strain.

At some point the table was hardly involved. It melded together in a blissful way where all he knew was that he was with you doing the most intimate thing people in love can do together. You gripped the ledge, then the legs. After a while you and Jiraiya were under the table rather than on it. He hardly ever had to stop his hips throughout the ordeal. Neither did you. Much like how you and him fight together, you make love with him just as fluently. It’s a flawless dance that was meant to be. A pair that was never meant to part. It finished just as gloriously as a battle. It left you and him exhausted but happy. Fulfilled in a way that only love can provide. It was a long time coming...

It was never a question of if, but when. Oh how blind and foolish Jiraiya feels now to have tried to think differently. If he didn’t make the first move, you would have. You did. He couldn’t be happier.

You lay beside him in the dark empty room under the table. Both you and him laying side by side looking at each other. You look wonderful in the low light. Your face relaxed and glowing. A soft smile on your lips as your fingers aimlessly trace lines down his chest. It left those warm tingles in their wake like they did before. As if you were grabbing and manipulating the very fire in his blood.

Well... It wasn’t supposed to go down like this. Ideally, Jiraiya would have nicely told Hiruzen he was going to take you out. It’s current year after all. He didn’t need to ask your father if he could date you. You are over thirty years old. When you kissed him, he was ready to march into that office and declare he was madly in love with you and there isn’t a damn thing his leader could do about it. It’s not like he regrets this. This was wonderful. All the frustration and need was gone. He couldn’t be happier with this outcome.

“What are you smiling about?” You ask in a whisper.

“What else could I be smiling about?” He replied. He placed some gentle touches on your skin too. Your eyes droop to half open when he caresses your cheek. “I just had sex with the greatest woman in the world!”

“Oh?” You question with a cocked brow. Your eyes snapped back to attention. Alert and mischievous. “Just sex and not great sex?”

“Pretty damn great sex.” He corrected.

“Just pretty damn great sex and not absolutely phenomenal?”

He snorts in amusement before stating your name with a fake annoyance. This could go on forever, or at least until you have him standing atop the building announcing to the whole village he fucked you rotten. You’d probably stand stand next to him declaring it just as loudly. A soft laugh was your reply. You scooted closer. You place a kiss on his collarbone. Then up his neck before connecting with his lips. He could stay like this forever. Naked and happy beside someone he loves so much. He holds you tightly against him to keep the kiss going. You chuckle as you are rolled around in the loving hug.

He rolls you onto your back and he’s on top. The kiss broke slowly. He pulled back slowly and grinned. You return the smile. You lick your lips. You rub his arms and hook your legs around his waist.

“I want more.” You whisper.

“I can arrange that.”

You laugh. You run your hands up his body to cradle his head. Jiraiya leans back down to kiss you. He grabbed your ass and there’s that rush to his system again. He didn’t expect to sign up for a marathon today but he was ready to go. You play with him a little, your hand stroking him off back into stiffness. It didn’t take long.

He raised your leg to rest on his shoulder while he held the other against his hip. Your head falls back as he slides back inside of you. Your face contorts into pleasure. You cry out. Your voice is quivering and weak. His hand releases your hip to run up your side. He rubs your nipple, pleased at how stiff it is. He moves on, keeping his palm flat against your chest. He gripped your neck as he fucked you.

“Ah!” Your cry was more restrained now. “J-Jiraiya!”

Jiraiya groaned your name. You hold on for dear life. Your fingers gripping the legs of the table to white knuckled. It’s just as good the second time. Maybe better. He could do this all damn day. Every time you pant and call his name it rejuvenated his stamina.

Bam! Bam! Bam!

He jumped in surprise. There’s an added bang as he cracked his head on the table. Pain riddled his skull and down his spine from the hard hit. It dazed him and watered his eyes. So did the fear of the current situation. He paused and you gasp. You go as tense as he does. Someone was knocking on the door. Which meant someone knew he was in here with you. Or at least... there’s two people in here.

“You two might want to wrap it up.” Kakashi’s calm voice was on the other side. “Lord Hokage is looking for you.”

“Fuck.” You hiss under your breath. “I... I don’t want you to stop.”

“I don’t either.” Jiraiya sighed. He’s frustrated and still incredibly horny. He’s no where near ready to finish and now his god damn head hurts.

Knowing Kakashi was outside along with the threat of an angry Hokage looking for him kinda killed the mood. Jiraiya groans before relaxing. He laid overtop of you with a pout. You whine. Your hip rock a little with a need for him to continue.

“I know, baby.” He uttered quietly. He pecked your cheek and neck. “I promise I’ll fuck you all damn night when we get out of here.”

“I look forward to it.” You are a little reluctant, but accepted it. You know better than to keep your father waiting.

He sat up and let you crawl out first. A smile does find it’s way to his face at the sight of your sex. You are really wet. Not that he needed to see to know. Being inside of it was proof enough that you were really into this. The visual only made him more frustrated. If he had time, he would pull you back under this table and keep going until you’ve cum several times.

“We’ll be right out!” You raise your voice to notify the annoyance outside.

Okay it’s a little mean to call Kakashi an annoyance. He was just looking out for you. He was looking out for Jiraiya too. He’s a good friend. But why? Why now! A part of Jiraiya is dying to keep going. To just forget the world and be with the woman he loves to dearly.

Getting dressed was a little quiet. Jiraiya helped you with a few details. He fixed your shirt and found plenty of excuses to shower you with kisses. You were happy to hold him and kiss him. He got dressed rather quickly, feeling strange and constricted in all his layers. Sigh. Getting interrupted in the middle of it was the worst. Now he has to face your father horny and frustrated. He ran his hands through his hair, knowing it is most certainly a damn mess. He flinched when he grazed the spot he smoked on the table. There’s a goose egg forming.

“Are you alright?” You ask.

“Yeah... It wasn’t a hard hit.”

You smile at him. You give him a quick kiss before turning to the door. You open it. The bright of the hall was a little surprising to the senses. Both you and Jiraiya were used to the darkness of the empty room. He rubbed his eyes and blinked until they adjusted. Kakashi was waiting outside.

“You two better get to Lord Hokage.” He warned.

“Is he mad?” You ask.

“He’s...” Kakashi moves his hand side to side in a so-so motion. “Annoyed to say the least.”

“We can’t be that late.”

Jiraiya glances to the clock on the wall. There’s one in the hall as a subtle reminder for ninja that they gotta be on time. Hiruzen liked people being punctual. Well... Jiraiya was never on to be punctual. What’s another hour? Hiruzen is going to be pissed.

“I’m surprised he didn’t send someone sooner.” He remarks.

“Asuma was called out to search for you two.” Kakashi informed. He grinned under the fabric that hid his face. “Luck for you I found you first, eh?”

The horror grew on your face. Jiraiya felt a small drop in his heart. Yeah. Really lucky. Being castrated wasn’t apart of the life plan. Asuma would be cool with this so long as he was informed in a proper way. Finding you in the throes of passion with a renowned pervert would not go well to say the least. No brother wants to see their sister like that.

Jiraiya grabs your hand and smiles. It’s best to get this over with. The sooner he does, the sooner he can take you home and do very naughty things to you.

“Come on, we shouldn’t keep the old man waiting.”

“Right.” You agree.

He escorts you away. He casts a wary glance behind him to Kakashi, who gave a cheeky thumbs up. Then a mockery of a flirty wave with his fingers. At least someone is enjoying themselves with this situation.

“Will he keep this a secret?” Jiraiya can’t help but wonder aloud.

“Kakashi isn’t one to gossip.” You reply. “He’s going to mock us, but he won’t say anything.”

“Great.”

You chuckle. You give his hand a reassuring squeeze and playfully bump into him. He was more than happy to knock his hip into yours, to which you staggered. Giggles echo in the hall as you and him goof around.

He paused in front of the office door. He can practically feel his teacher’s annoyance through the door. Like an icy cavern was on the other side of that door. He turned to you and looked you over. A certain amount of self consciousness arises in him. Is it obvious? Like really obvious? He just fucked you right in this very building only a few feet away from your father. Ballsy to say the least. Incredibly fortunate the old man didn’t go searching for you. Jiraiya wouldn’t have just been castrated, but murdered on the very spot.

“How do I look?” You ask.

You must have been thinking the same thing. Despite the fact you walked out of that conference room looking like you just woke up from a nap. The only real evidence that something may have happened was the slight swell to your lips and the blush on your cheeks. You hair wasn’t even that messy.

“Better than I do.” Jiraiya was honest.

“You don’t look that...” You pause as you think of the word. “Disheveled.”

He laughs. Okay sure. His kosode is is wrinkled and more open than the town’s gate. His sash is tied sloppy. He didn’t have time to put on his arm guards or forehead protector. They were all abandoned on the floor of the dark conference room. He didn’t even have on that all so comforting tight layer of his netted shirt. The light chainmail would at least keep Hiruzen from straight up killing him with a knife.

“Do we tell him?” He asks.

Your brows raise in surprise. It seems you haven’t really thought about it. Your thoughtful face kept him on edge. You were quiet for several moments.

“Maybe not today.” You finally said. “I can’t imagine my father would be happy to hear the reason you and are so late is because we were doing it in his conference room.”

“Yeah. Okay... What do we tell him?”

“I’ll come up with something.” You shrug.

“Okay, love.”

Calling you that got a bashful grin. You like that. Jiraiya takes note. He’ll call you that whenever he can. He runs the back of his fingers down your cheek before moving in for another kiss. You tilt your head and he feels your fingers grip his shirt again.

The door opens. The silence on the other side is cold and deadly. It feels like the grim reaper himself just grabbed Jiraiya by the heart and the balls. He breaks the kiss slowly, standing up to his full height. He looks over to see Hiruzen glowering at him.

Could anything go right today? It was as if getting together with you had taken all the luck he had left. Jiraiya makes a silent prayer. This must be the end. The old man looks him up and down slowly, then over to you. He puts it together rather quickly what held you up. You are more punctual and responsible. To have you be late because you were with a man he didn’t approve of was not making you nor Jiraiya very popular.

“Hey papa.” You say quietly.

“Hello, my dear.” Hiruzen was curt. He barely glanced at you before returning to glare at the man that was far too close to you. “I believe it would be in your best interest to step away from him.” 

“Papa please. I-!”

Hiruzen said your name sharply. It was a warning that you should step in line. He was not happy. You take the smallest step away from Jiraiya.

“You know, my boy. I don’t ask a lot of you.” The old man spoke slowly and clearly. “But I expected you to at least respect the one rule I put in place. Do not touch my daughter.”

An unexpected surge of anger rose within Jiraiya. What is this? He’s not a child anymore. Nor are you. He’s a grown ass man. You are a grown ass woman. It’s not like he is hitting it and quitting it. He’s not a heartbreaker.... not anymore at least. He had a phase, but was long over it. Even so, he has a rather small track record in comparison to most. He once fell in love and it fell apart. He won’t let that happen again... so long as you want to fight with him.

“I love her. I’m not going to stop seeing her.” His voice was quieter than he meant it to be. But the tone was on point. Firm and feisty. He won’t back down.

“Love?” Hiruzen was surprised.

It hurt a little that his teacher thought so little of him. Hiruzen looked so shocked. As if Jiraiya was incapable or too shallow. Then again... he’s never been in a committed relationship. It’s not all that unusual that it would be surprising. He’s willing to try. A large part of him knows he’ll be good at it. You return to his side. Your arm wraps around his lower back and you rest your head against his chest.

“I love him too.” You state with confidence. “I don’t really care if you disapprove, papa. I won’t stop seeing him no matter what you say.”

Hiruzen looked between you and Jiraiya in silence. Eventually his eyes were solely on you. It was as if in that moment the old man realized he has been a little coddling. You are an adult now. This is the most rebellious thing you’ve done.

“Your mission went as expected?” He suddenly asked.

You nod.

“Very well. Leave me a written report. Hand it in by tomorrow afternoon. I need to be left alone.”

“Papa...”

He raised his hand to sign for you to be quiet. He returned to his office and shut the door.

That didn’t go very well. Jiraiya turned you around with him to leave.

“Come on, love. Let’s go.” He said. “Give him time.”

“I thought he would be happy for me... for us.”

“He’ll come around.”

You don’t look very convinced. Jiraiya tried to make you feel better. He noticed you kept looking back. He took a few glances too. The old man just needs time. It’s a lot to digest. It is also what he’s scared of. He didn’t want to be a home wrecker. Perhaps if your brother approves and your little nephew can get on board then Hiruzen will be more inclined to be accepting. He wants this to work. He didn’t want to get in the way of your family.

“Hey... if this is going to be too much of a problem.” Jiraiya was slow in approaching the topic. “Then we don’t have to be-!”

You yanked him down for a kiss. You held him there for a few moments. He’s going to have to get used to this.

“Don’t talk like that. Not when I need you most.” You uttered softly. “I love you. And we can get through this together... right?”

“Of course. I won’t let you go.”

You smile. You hold his hand again as he led the way back into the streets. He knew the way to your apartment by heart. You were happy to collapse upon your bed and kick off your shoes. Jiraiya collapses beside you in a dramatic flop that rocked the mattress... it won’t be the only time the mattress will bounce. The integrity of the springs of this thing is going to be tested.

For a while you simply wished to be cuddled. He was more than happy to provide. You muttered something about how warm he is. You’re pretty warm too. The fire in you is more than metaphorical after all. When fire meets fire it only makes a bigger fire. You and him must make a wildfire.

After a few hours of making up for the previous incident, you couldn’t wait anymore.

“Can we go find Asuma?” You ask. Your fingers dance around his chest and play with his hair. “I have to tell him. I need you beside me.”

“Yeah. That’s fine with me.” Jiraiya agreed.

The quicker more people know, the easier it will be. Having your brother’s approval will be a huge milestone.

Getting dressed this time around wasn’t rushed. Jiraiya could actually make himself presentable. Not that he ever really cared about his image, but looking good beside you does make him happy. He’s involved with the Hokage’s kid after all. That’s gonna draw some attention whether he likes it or not.

You led the way to your brother. You know his most frequent spots for hanging out. No surprise he was with his girlfriend, sharing some quality time with her at a café. You didn’t even get the chance to announce it. You were holding Jiraiya’s hand tightly. Something you haven’t done since you were a little girl and you needed help walking.

As expected, he was cool about it. Asuma took a slow drag of his cigarette, taking his sweet time in order to annoy you. He looked you over slowly, then Jiraiya with the same cool expression.

“I’m not all that surprised.” He said. “You’ve been gushing about Jiraiya like you were twelve again last week.”

You turn red. Jiraiya snorted as you got embarrassed. Last week is when the mission started. The news excited you more than you let on when meeting under the gate. There you were cool and collected. A tad excited as it was the first time you saw him in a year. You certainly hid your crush on him well. He still remembers how his heart fluttered when he saw you... It flutters again now that you are with him.

“Don’t say that!” You whine. “I got something serious to ask you!”

“Heh, sorry. What do you need?”

“Can you talk to papa?”

Surprise grew on Asuma’s face. You rarely ask things such serious things of him. If anything, Asuma asks you to do more of that. Especially when it came to Hiruzen. You are daddy’s little girl after all. Hiruzen is still notoriously soft on you in comparison. Most times you had to flash your smile and bat your eyes to get your little brother a lesser punishment. You always looked out for him and because of that you and him are pretty tight.

“Why? Is something wrong?” Asuma dropped his voice to be quieter. “Should I be worried?”

“He found out about me and Jiraiya in a... less than savoury way.” You explain. Your expression fell into sorrow again. “He’s not happy about us. I was wondering if you could just... casually bring it up? Say that you think it’s a good thing?”

“Uh... Yeah I can do that.”

Finally a smile returns to your face. You beam and give him a tight hug like he’s little again. He was less enthusiastic but accepted the hug. The tables have certainly turned. You are shorter than him yet you hug him like you can scoop him up and drag him around the house. You gotta ask him to get you out of trouble for once. You’re the current black sheep and the heat is on you. If younger, he’d be snickering and teasing you for messing up. But alas, this is an adult situation with adult consequences. Your brother simply ruffles your hair.

“Can you do it tomorrow morning? We have to drop off our mission report after that.” You ask.

“Sure. I don’t got plans anyways.”

“Yes!” You cheer. You throw your hands up and give a little bounce. “Thank you! You’re the best! I owe you big time!”

“Yeah you do. Just remember,” Asuma paused and pulled out the box containing his smokes. Specifically showing off the brand name. “These are my favourite.”

A smirk grows on your face. You grab Jiraiya’s hand and began to back up. He falls in step with you. As you back away, you heckle your brother in the guise of a thank you.

“A carton is coming your way! I expect your lungs to be ruined by the time the snow sticks!”

A casual thumbs up was the reply given. That didn’t take much. Jiraiya didn’t even have to participate. He was just there as the living proof as your newest boyfriend. Lover? What exactly is the term? He loves you but the relationship is brand new. They say that only fools rush in, but he when he’s known you for so long it doesn’t feel rushed. He could declare you his wife... soon. The future seemed so clear for once. He’ll ask once the discourse in your family is sorted. He may not be one for respecting the rules, but asking the father is the responsible thing to do.

This overall great day ends with eating at a great restaurant together. The first official first date went well. It felt like any other dinner with you. Laughing and goofing around most of the time. Only now it ended differently. Instead of a friendly and platonic kiss on the cheek and a goodbye, Jiraiya went back to your house again.

The break had refuelled his stamina for some more fun. He couldn’t get enough of you. You couldn’t get enough of him. By midnight, it finally ended. After quickly cleaning up, Jiraiya playfully body slammed you back into bed and used you as both his pillow and his much loved cuddle buddy. The giggles you and him have finally quieted down. Despite being sleepy, it took a long time to settle down to sleep. The giddy excitement was hard to come down from. All the bumps in the road today was easy to forget in favour to all the amazing things. Kissing you for the first time. Hearing you say you loved him. How you cry his name in pleasure.... All of it is wonderful. You fell asleep first, your face rested in the perfect spot in the crook of his neck and legs tangled with his. He did fall asleep. It took a little time as thinking about you made his heart pound and turn his brain back on. This is the most excited about life he’s been in years. He looks forward to live another day, because he gets to live it with you.

Waking up beside you was as good as he dreamed. Yesterday did feel like a dream. It clearly was not as he got to roll around with you clutching you tightly. You laughed in his goofy embrace. You returned it and greeted him with a perfect kiss.

“Good morning, love.” Jiraiya happy to greet you so warmly.

“A good morning it is.” You agree.

Your smile slowly turned into a worried frown. Your fingers shift and tap on his skin by his neck. There’s anxiety in your eyes. It was like you just remembered something bad.

“What’s up? You’re making a face.” He asked.

“I... I’m not sure if I can face papa today.” You say. A soft sigh follows then you continue. “He was so mad. He’s never been mad at me like that.”

“It’s me he’s mad at. It’s not the first time either.”

That at least got a smile at of you. Jiraiya was always a bit of a troublemaker. This was probably the biggest trouble he’s ever going to be in. He gave you a kiss before continuing.

“I’ll go and hand in the report. I think facing it head on will be best.” He said with a nod. He smiles. “I can handle him.”

And prove himself. He is a man of his worth. He’s good enough for you. He slowly gets off of you. Even slower does he dress. A large part of him would like to crawl back into the nice warm bed where the pretty naked lady is. You look just as delicious with the covers just covering your body than you do without them. It wouldn’t take much to convince him to forget about it all and snuggle with you all day. It takes some time, but the report gets done.

“Are you sure you want to go alone?” You ask.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” Jiraiya waves off your concern and offers a big grin to assure you. “How about we meet up for lunch after?”

“Sounds good.”

One last kiss and he’s off. Once in the streets, Jiraiya let’s his mind wander off to the situation he has to face. Well... there’s a few uncertainties. From least to greatest... there’s little Konohamaru. A passionate little troublemaker that has a taste for pranks. He’s skilled he’s just a kid living how a kid should. Getting along with a kid shouldn’t be too hard. Jiraiya can get along with a kid if he tries. Then there’s Kakashi. While not blood, he was like another brother to you. The man is rather laid back, but at the same he’s also very protective of his friends. On the very small chance Jiraiya does mess this up, he’d have a very angry and very sneaky ninja on his ass. One that’ll probably take the petty road to revenge. At least Kakashi is in favour of this relationship. While it’ll be a little annoying to deal with the many jokes at his expense, having someone willing to defend you and Jiraiya was kinda nice. Not that you or him need other people to defend the relationship. It was simply a nice bonus. Plus it’ll probably rope a few of the other elites to be supportive. It might just be the little subliminal push for Hiruzen to see that this is a good thing for you.

Next is Asuma. While supportive of the relationship, one mess up will probably end with at least a talking to. Your brother is a fair man with a level head so at least it shouldn’t be that emotional scarring. It’s mostly just dealing with the weight and confrontation of whatever he did to make you upset. Third was your mysterious elder sibling, if they do indeed still live. Anbu are practically invisible to the village and lack any presence whatsoever unless they wished to be seen. They are quite the force. Protective of you as all siblings are of one another. Another problem for another time.

Still Hiruzen was on top as the biggest threat. As the god damn Hokage, the man had some power. He’s smart and tricky. But he was also more of a father to Jiraiya than his real father was. His youth was made tolerable and fun because of Hiruzen. He knows how strong and... oddly stingy the man can be. Kind and wise, but can be harsh and critical. There was lots of times Jiraiya was subject to his teacher’s criticisms. But... he just has to approve of this.

Despite all his faults, Jiraiya would like to believe he’s a good person. Good enough for you. Which in your father’s eyes must mean a man with almost no faults. He knows he’s good enough! He loves you! He’ll die for you. He’d do anything for you to make you happy. Isn’t that what a good partner is supposed to feel and want for their significant other?

As usual, Jiraiya simply let himself in. Hiruzen was alone in his office. His deceptively fragile old hands working on signing off a piece of paperwork. He glanced up from his work. Less usual was the disapproval. Jiraiya hadn’t received that look since he was a child. It’s fine. Gramps was just pissed at him for finding out in a bad way. At the end of the day, Hiruzen just had to know his most precious student is best for his little girl.

“One mission statement, as ordered.” Jiraiya announced with a cheeky wink as he waved the envelope around like a prize.

“Leave it on my desk.”

He frowns. Come on? Can’t the old man at least try? It’s not like he walked in calling him dad. This really isn’t the time to be making those kinds of jokes. Not until he knows your father is okay. Very slowly he does drop the letter on the desk and slide it forward until it’s almost poking Hiruzen in the arm.

“I thought you would have more to say.” Jiraiya not so subtly inquires.

“I wanted to speak to my daughter first.”

“Come on, gramps. I know you have made up your mind by now.”

“I have.”

For the first time, Hiruzen stopped to focus completely on Jiraiya. He dropped his pen and sat up straight. Despite him being much bigger, Jiraiya felt about the size of a fly under his teacher’s gaze. Like he was a child again.

“You aren’t good enough for her.” Hiruzen came to his conclusion.

It stole Jiraiya’s breath in a terrible way. Not like when you kissed him or told him you loved him. A coldness washed over him rather than joy. It was hard to breathe. Like he was stuck in frigid water and each inhale burned from the strain.

“My daughter deserves a man to grow old with. Not one who watched her grow.” The normally wise man took that politely critical tone. “A man with a steady income and good home. A man who can provide her a good future.”

Each point felt like a stab. Ouch. Way to hit a man where it hurts. These are points Jiraiya himself once contemplated when debating himself on whether or not he would make a good partner to you. He’s not young... but he’s not old. He’s spry and certainly has plenty of life in him. He’s not rich, but it’s not like he’s poor. He can provide for himself just fine and adding you onto the budget won’t be an issue. So long as he had you, he had a home. Not just you, but other people who loved him. Every time he did want to return to Konoha, images of not just your smiling face came to mind, but sharing that long heart to heart catch up talk with Hiruzen also made him happy. Being with you restored his heart while speaking to Hiruzen broadened his perspective. It was nice....

“I... can do all of these things.” Jiraiya said with determination. “I can’t control my age, but I can get my act together. I’ll prove to you I’m worth every bit of her love.”

“That’s not the point.”

“You just clearly said it was. What is it then?” Anger began to rise inside of him. He folds his arms and scowls. “Is it just because it’s me? Will any other man do but me? What is it about me specifically that makes it so awful for her to be in love with me?”

“Because I know you.” Again Hiruzen strikes him down with a well placed statement. “You are just getting ahead of yourself. Once the excitement wears down, you’ll leave my daughter and move on. You may not see it, but I have seen what you’ve done to girls in the past. So please! Move on before you do anymore damage.”

It grew silent in the room. Jiraiya didn’t have anything to say to that. Sure... he’s done his fair share. All men do. But... it never had feelings. This does. This is so completely different from hooking up with some random woman at a bar! To be completely honest, half the time he wished it was you he was touching than a stranger. Each time he hoped one of those girls would stick, but they never did. To think Hiruzen kept an eye on his past romantic endeavours! Yeesh. Perhaps the old man is more perverse than he remembered.

Insulted and torn down, he turned to leave. His steps felt heavy and loud in the quiet office. Once at the door, Jiraiya slowly turned the knob. He hesitates to leave. He looks over his shoulder. The words are burning to be set free from his tongue.

“I’ll prove you wrong.”

There was no reply. Barely a twitch from the still solemn leader perched in the room. Jiraiya left after a moment of staring. It feels bad. He is good enough! Why does Hiruzen think so strongly otherwise? The argumentative side of him is telling him to go back in that office and tear the old guy a new one. But it wouldn’t do any good. It’ll just sour Hiruzen’s opinion of him more. Once out of the suddenly cold and looming building, the warm and golden light of the sun was a welcome difference. He breathed in deeply, then slowly let it out.

“Jiraiya!”

He turns his head in the direction of the familiar call to see you were waiting for him outside. The warmth of the sun was nothing compared to your smile. It could keep him warm in the dead of winter. It was a wonderful sight after what he just went through. You collided with him in a tight hug. A thrilled squeal came from you when he held you tighter and lifted you off the ground in the bear hug.

“Did papa come around?” You ask.

“Oh... not exactly.”

You look at him with a frown. By your expression alone, you wanted him to explain. That little frown and worried furrow to your brows is very telling. It hasn’t changed from when you used to do it as a child.

“I guess Asuma’s pep talk didn’t do much to sway the opinion.” Jiraiya said with a smile. He tried to joke, but it fell flat as your worry didn’t fade.

“What did he say to you?”

He opened his mouth.... then slowly shut it. It’s best he doesn’t say. Not right now. He didn’t want to turn you against your father. While it hurt to basically be called an unworthy slut, he still cared. Your family is important to you. It’s important to him too.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure it out later.” He dismisses it.

You aren’t completely satisfied with that answer. You don’t press him for the details. Instead you rest your cheek against his chest and sigh. For some time, he and you are still. The embrace was just what he needed to feel better. Your warmth soaked into his body and kept him comfortable. Your quiet breaths and gentle beat of your heart was a wonderful reminder that you are just... here. Alive and here for him.

“You hungry?” You raise your head to look at him and ask. “I’m feeling sushi.”

“With lots of alcohol!”

“At lunch?”

“What? You got somewhere you gotta be later?”

You chuckle and shake your head. Your fingers interlock with his. He followed your lead. You know where the better restaurants are. He fell behind a little, just to watch you walk. Your body had a certain sway about it when you’re excited. It’s pretty darn cute.

... Sorry sensei.

Jiraiya places a kiss on your cheek, which makes you grin and curl your face into your shoulder out of embarrassment. You turn your head towards him and lean in for a better kiss. He was happy to provide one. His hand still holding yours under the table. The corner spot of the restaurant was perfect to get cuddly.

He sat back to look you over. Your face... everything else attached to it. It’s perfect.

“What?” You ask. You tilt your head curiously and a grin grows on your lips. “What are you staring at?”

“Heh... Only looking at you, love.”

You beam at him with that sunshiny smile. Then you relaxed to laze on him like he was a lounge chair. Content to find a way to be as close as possible without being totally inappropriate. Since it was a booth table, it was rather easy to adjust and let you lay. He put his back against the corner and leg against the back of the booth. You nestled in the space it created with your head just at the right height for him to rest his chin on top of it. It flared up the bump in his head as the back of it was still pressed against the wall. He doesn’t really care though. It’s a good enough position to hand feed you!... And fondle a bit of that hot body of yours.

No matter what Hiruzen says. No matter how he disapproved or tried to interfere. It won’t deter Jiraiya from trying. At some point in the future if this ever gets to a point of being asked why with frustration and anger, he has the perfect answer prepared. 

“I love her too much to let her go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes the spookiest thing of all. Parental disapproval. I tried to involve everything I could when discussing the details and added my own flare. I thought having a bit more drama suited the situation. 
> 
> High key it was kinda annoying looking up Konohamaru’s parents because there’s very little out there about them. Other than the fact that they are literally top tier mothereffers with a license to kill whoever. 
> 
> All in all this chapter was really fun and I kinda like the sadder stuff. I low key seeing this going into the direction of eloping.


	51. Love Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyday for years get short letters from an anonymous source... Today your admirer reveals himself.   
> He’s the last person you thought it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning. Jiraiya is a lil out of character here. As in he’s kinda crazy. That’s right children. He admires you more than he lets on.

You wake up feeling peaceful. Last night went well. A man you have been dating casually for a few weeks had finally taken you to bed. It was good. He made you feel good. It’s been so long since a man was able to take you out. He’s a good enough man to show off to your team. He’s not afraid like most men are. Most of them were put off by the problem you have...

A stalker. Not everyone has a stalker. It’s rare to say the least. You get letters everyday. They are all handwritten. All of them are usually at the foot of your front door, meaning the person slides the letters through the gap of the door and the floor.

Yeah, they know where you live. You’ve moved four times and don’t have the funds to do it again. You are always found. Sometimes the stalker will stop for a few weeks, giving you hope that you have finally lost him only to receive a note just as your anxieties were at ease. It was taxing on the emotions but you got through it.

Every time you try to date and bring this up, your date tends to back off. They didn’t want to deal with crazy, even if the crazy wasn’t your fault. A few who said were okay with it suddenly stop speaking to you. Tori was different. He cared about your safety. He knows it’s not your fault. He didn’t expect you to figure it out or be always on guard. You maybe a ninja but that doesn’t mean you are immune to problems like stalkers. He was willing to protect you even if he was just a citizen. He was very sweet. He’s a wonderful support to have. There’s a future there. He could be yours for years and you’d be content.

You have your team as well. You maybe a chunin now, but your team will always have your back. Minato was the sweetest thing ever. A brother to you. He often came over whenever you didn’t feel safe. Kushina usually joined him. She bonded with you and your fears. She would probably grab your pots and pans to bang them together asking for your stalker to come on out and face her.

“Sure be a shame if someone tried to take me right now!” She would bellow. Anything to taunt the man who leaves you letters. Just to convince them to emerge so she can kick their sorry ass into the next life. She had your back.

They were very sweet to watch be together. Their love was pure enough to be jealous of. It’s why you want a partner. To have what they have would be wonderful. They already approve of Tori and they were happy you found someone. But at the same time, being more like sensei wasn’t so bad either. He was a bit more cynical.

Jiraiya had always piqued your interest. He was a strange man, but quite charming and likeable. He always had good advice. He always treated you with kindness. He’s a good teacher if a little perverse. The older you got, the more he seemed to flirt with you. It was all in good fun. He liked teasing you and you don’t mind it when he does.

When you told him about your problem, he was empathetic. As your teacher, he was responsible for your safety. You’ve had this stalker since you were in your mid teens and he always kept an eye out on the horizon. He offered you his home if you ever needed. Sometimes you took him up on it. Spending those nights in his home were always nice. He was sweet and considerate. Happy to let you talk about your worries and assure you he had your back. He insisted you sleep in the same room as him, so he knows you’re safe. It was a little weird, but you didn’t mind all that much. Sensei knew what was best for you. You feel safe when close to him.

“You know I’ll protect you from any weirdos.” Jiraiya promised with a wink.

“Heh... yeah I know, sensei.”

In a way, he’s always been kinda fatherly to you. The idea of him meeting Tori was a little scary. Mostly because Jiraiya will harass the poor guy with questions and whatnot to test him. If he can’t survive sensei, then he’s no good. Or so sensei says. At the end of it all he’s just a jokester who does care about you and his slightly weird way of showing it was all because he didn’t want to see you get hurt.

Eventually you drag yourself out of bed and to the washroom. You shower, taking your time. The water was so nice and it only elevated your mood. You sigh happily as you wash off some of the fluids from the night before. Your floral soaps do well to refresh your senses and hydrate your skin.

Something catches your peripheral vision. Just the very edge of it. The hair on the back of your neck stand for a moment. You turn your head towards the curtain. It’s semitransparent, so the best you can make out from the milky film was silhouettes. There’s a tall dark shape in the centre of the room. Like a looming shadow of a man. Your heart began to pound.

Fuck. Shit.

You did lock the door last night, didn’t you? Tori went home after having such a wonderful time together and that was that. You went to bed right after. But... maybe you forgot. It’s not totally impossible. You were tired and satisfied. All you wanted was to go to bed with that high still intact. In your haste you could have forgotten.

You don’t got no weapons in here. You’re naked and soapy. They could have a weapon. You are fairly talented in jutsu but executing them in such a small space isn’t the best idea. The blowback could harm you more than help. Hand to hand will be just as strange. It’ll be difficult since you could slip from having little traction with your wet feet. The tile floor may look nice but they aren’t friendly for brawling.

It’s hard to breathe. The steam was less comforting and more of a hindrance. Slowly... you grab the edge of the curtain. The best plan of action was to take them by surprise before they take you down. You brace. You are ready. Even if you are at a disadvantage, you won’t go down without a fight. You yank the curtain back and jump out of the shower.

Immediate embarrassment floods you.

Your menacing dark figure was just your house robe. You sigh. Maybe you are a little paranoid. More than you thought. You thought you had this stalker thing down. It bugs you more than you thought. Yes it’s scary, but your home always felt safe. Maybe you do fear that this haven will be breached. Then nowhere would ever feel safe. Not even Minato’s home or Jiraiya’s. If your stalker can break into one home how hard is it for them to break into two or three?

After another sigh, you turn and shut the water off. Don’t think about that. You are safe here. You’re just overthinking things. You are clean now and it feels good. It was nice to hang out in the warm water. It’s getting cold out. Your house is cold in the morning. Something you don’t really notice until you get out of the warm embrace of the shower. The colder hug of the morning fall air in your home was less inviting than the nice toasty warm shower.

You towel off. You grab your not so scary robe. It’s black and pattered with the happy full blooms of painted sunflowers. The pretty yellow flowers always held some admiration in your heart. Your mother always grew giant ones in the garden of your childhood home. They remind you of simpler times with your family. As a result they have become a favourite flower of yours. Any comfort, no matter how small, was welcome right now. It was the only thing you own that still has your favourite flower on it. A nice thing you bought for yourself.

The rest were gifts gained under... suspicious circumstances. Little gifts left on your doorstep with anonymous notes don’t make you feel too good. You tossed them all away. It’s hard to accept things from people now. It’s better not to.

It’s your day off. Which meant relaxing for a while and then maybe meeting up with Tori for dinner. A nice calm day after getting laid was exactly what you need. Especially if your house robe is triggering your paranoia. Having Tori here will make you feel better. Maybe ask him to stay the night tonight. If just to distract you from your worries.

You doctor up a tea and a simple breakfast. You lean against the countertop and nibble on your toast. From there you can see pretty much everything. The layout of your apartment was fairly open. From your small kitchen you can see your living room and entryway. In between was your bedroom which was closed off by walls and a door. Next to it was your bathroom, just as closed off. It was kinda comforting. It means you can almost always keep an eye on the whole of your dwelling. Your windows are always covered, shut and locked. You don’t enjoy looking out of them, afraid someone will be looking back at you.

Your ear twitched to a sound. A flutter of paper. You turn your head and see a piece of paper sliding across your floor from your front door. It launched you into action. You book it to the door and yank it open. You’ve never seen it in action before. The answer felt close and you ain’t afraid. Just angry. Who is this freak?! You need answers!

There’s no one there. Just an empty space. You step out and look around. Jiraiya always said to be thorough. Don’t drop your guard until you know you are safe. Those words echo in your head. He gave you that advice a long time ago. When you first began to notice you were being stalked. You check every nook and cranny now. Any dark area, no matter how small, could be hiding something.

After inspecting to your satisfaction, you turn to walk back inside. You triple check the lock and wiggle the knob to make sure it is locked. It is. Good. Just try to relax.

At this point, it makes the most sense that your stalker is probably a ninja as well. They are using their skills they learned to watch targets and gain information to instead watch one of their own. It’s insane to think someone can gain such a fascination with another. Someone you have to trust to protect you on the battlefield could very well be someone who is obsessed with you. At least Lord Third tried to pair you on missions with people who have been ruled out. Still... you always have that doubt. You don’t like strangers. Not even strangers who have been proven innocent. It’s much easier to work alone or with your team.

You look down. The note is between your feet. Sitting there casually. As if it belongs there. What will it say today?...

The letters were always short and mysterious. To the point about your stalker’s mindset towards you.

Your beauty is unmatched.

I think of your eyes when I close mine.

Sunflowers worship your smile, for it is as bright as the sun.

You like sunflowers. Don’t you?

You’ve turned into a woman before my very eyes, sunflower.

That one... was the scariest one. It implies and confirms they’ve been watching you for a long time. They know what you like. They have a creepy nickname for you.

It’s crappy that they’ve been watching you for so long. Maybe that’s why Jiraiya comes around every now and then. He did it a few times when you were younger, making sure you got home safe. He does it now, making sure to check in on you and ask you how you are. He’s not your teacher anymore but he’s always been very protective over you. Perhaps he know more than he lets on.

You slowly pick up the note. You break the of tape piece holding the folds of the paper together. You read it with a growing anxiety.

I don’t like your new friend, sunflower. I’m the only man good enough for you.

He’s talking about Tori, isn’t he?

Another paper touches your foot. You jump ever so slightly in surprise. That’s not normal. It’s usually just the one note.

You look down and see a smaller piece of folded paper nestled on your foot. It must have been folded in the first note and you didn’t see. You grab it. Your curiosity is too strong. You’re worried too.

I got rid of him for you.

The writing stalled your heart. It was scrawled darker and scratchy. Like the person writing it let their emotions get the better of them as they wrote.

You drop everything and turn back to the door. Tori! Oh god!

Please be a bluff! Or a mistake!

No one has been hurt before because of the obsessive person stalking you. They may have been in your life for years, but they left you notes! That’s all they did. You got flowers on your doorstep once. A box of chocolates in your mailbox. A handprint on your window. It was always focused on you. Not your loved ones.

You open the door and jump. You didn’t expect a person there.

“S-Sensei!” You stammer.

Jiraiya was standing in your doorway. His hand raised to knock on your door. His eyes widened and brows raised in surprise.

“Are you alright?” He asks. “You look scared.”

“Tori! He’s in trouble! I gotta-!” You try to run around him, but he blocks your path.

“Whoa! Hold on a second.” He said as he held out his hands to stop you. “What’s happening?”

“My boyfriend! I think my stalker hurt him! I have to go make sure he’s okay!”

He exclaimed your name harshly, which made you pause. He rarely uses that tone with you. You stop and stare at Jiraiya with wide eyes.

“I think I can save you a trip.” His expression dropped into sorrow. “I’m sorry. I received word that the boy you were seeing has gone missing.”

“W-What?” You are confused and shocked.

“That’s why I’m here. I wanted to break the news to you.” Jiraiya’s voice faded off. He looks over your face with sympathy. “The police think he went missing sometime in the early morning. Did you see him before that?”

“Y... Yeah. He left my place around that time.”

His face was easy to read. The conclusion was a simple one to come to. Tori was met with your stalker. Jiraiya offered you his open arms.

“Come on. You need a hug.”

You cry out and collapse into them. You always felt so comfortable in his arms. Jiraiya maybe a bit of an outlandish character, but he was always sweet to you. There was lots of times you turned to him for comfort. He was a good teacher. Supportive and understanding to your problems. He raised you up when no one else really did. Without Jiraiya, you probably wouldn’t have made it as a ninja. He’s a wonderful friend to rely on. He understood you in a way no one else really did. His more aged and sagely perspective was different from your other less wise friends. He can back you up. He’ll know what to do.

“I have to find him!” You whisper. “M-My stalker left me a note. He said he hurt Tori.”

“I’ll let the police now. For now it’s best you let them take care of it. You might get hurt.”

“I’m a ninja! And I care about him. I can’t just leave him to that crazy person!”

“No!”

He raised his voice. It surprised you. He didn’t want you to go. His arms grip you harder.

“I won’t let you go. I’ve had enough of those boys.” He growls. “He wasn’t good enough for you!”

The statement surprised you. Jiraiya spoke it with such venom and jealousy. It wasn’t usually like him to get to worked up. Something is wrong here. You wiggle in his grasp and break free. It took some effort. He was holding on so strong. You pushed him away. You take a step back and look at him. His expression is cold and critical.

“What are you talking about?” You ask quietly.

“I’m tired of these lowlifes asking you out. You deserve a much better man than that.”

“What do you mean? You don’t even know Tori. He’s a great guy.”

“Oh I’m sure he was. But not good enough. No one is.”

He took a step towards you. You take a step back. He’s acting weird. He’s approaching you now. A heavy step breaches the entry of your home and his eyes never leave you. They hold a fury in them you’ve never seen before.

“You know, I’m getting tired of always chasing away the men who dare touch you.” He said with a sneer. “Did Tori touch you? You are far too good for anyone like that to be touching you.”

He’s being so aggressive. He speaks of Tori as if the other man had hurt or wronged you. There’s a dull thunk when Jiraiya clasped his hand on the frame of the door. He leans in as he takes his first step inside of your home. It... feels wrong. He’s not acting like himself.

“Sensei... you’re scaring me.”

“Am I?”

He stepped into your home and shut the door. Your once safe domain now felt like a trap. A small one. Your heart begins to pound as you feel cornered. All the precautions you made to make your home safe now feel like your undoing. Jiraiya had an intention in mind you don’t like. A smirk pulls at the corner of his lip. It’s more sinister. It lacks the mirthful sarcasm he usually projects. It was like he knows a great juicy secret that he’s been keeping from you.

“My sunflower has been out for far too long.”

Sunflower?...

The nickname made your heart jump into your throat. There’s only one person who called you that. Only written in letters and you never repeated it to anyone.

No... no way.

All this time Jiraiya was...?

“It’s time I snipped her from the garden and kept her inside where it’s safe.”

“Sensei....” You can barely speak. “You...”

“Yes.” Jiraiya said with a nod. “Are you just figuring it out now? How perfect I am for you?”

You feel so small under his gaze. He’s never felt so imposing to you. He is big and strong. His steps are large and heavy. He can easily overpower you and you know that. He was never intimidating like this before. He was never the type to use his stature to intimidate another. In fact he was usually pretty goofy to put others at ease and give them the vibe that he was more of the gentle giant type despite being built like a brick house. This was the first time you glanced at his hands and were afraid of what they were capable of. Can you even raise your hands to him? This man that helped raise you. He nurtured you and helped you become who you are. It’s hard to believe he would do this.

Your back collided with the back of your chair. You backed right into your dining set. Jiraiya is still approaching, taking his time as he spoke.

“I hated making you sad, but all those boys were no good. They don’t deserve you. Me... me I do. I am worth your love, aren’t I? My beautiful sunflower turned into the woman she is because of me. She grew more and more marvellous under my care. Who better suited to be my wife than her? I know she loves me... she just doesn’t know it yet.”

What on earth is he talking about? He’s crazy! You are scared. It’s hard to believe he’s standing over you saying these messed up things. Jiraiya wouldn’t hurt you... yet here he is... admitting that he was the one harassing you all these years. He just told you he did bad things. He may have killed Tori...He hasn’t directly admitted it, but that look in his eyes was that of a man unhinged. He holds no regrets. Simply joy as he spills the beans, like he expects you to fall into his arms as his gracious lover. As if you would be wooed by his crimes. How many did he hurt to get you alone?

Someone you trusted was the monster all along.

You can’t beat him. Jiraiya is like a level above a regular jonin. You don’t got a chance in hell. He’s cunning. He taught you all you know. A strategist who knows your biggest weaknesses. He’s not someone you can simply take on in a fight. He knows you too well. It would only prolong the outcome victory being in his favour.

The best thing to do is run. The door is the best way out. Just run and scream like hell. Minato. Kushina. They are the closest people to you. Just run! You can make it to their flat in no time if you don’t stop.

Your leg already burn with the motivation. Adrenaline is coursing through your veins. The fight had left you and all your focus was on flight. You break right, swiftly booking it across the apartment.

“Oh no you don’t!” Jiraiya yells after you.

His heavier steps follow, hitting the wood loudly. It only made you more terrified. They announced his approach. It was catching up far too quickly. Fear is crawling up your spine like an icy breeze shooting under the fabric of your robe. For a moment you swear you can feel his frantic and heavy breathing on your neck. All the hair on your body is standing on end from the feeling. 

Don’t think about it. Don’t look back. Just get out! You grab the doorknob and pull it open. The warm sunshine felt like salvation. One more move and you are in public. The busy streets feel like a blessing. No one will ignore a woman screaming on the top of her lungs as a man chases her, would they? It’s an alarming enough sight to rouse loads of suspicion.

You kick off from the ground, prepared to leap across the rooftops to your friends’ house. Your eyes land on the nearest roof, your trajectory calculated to land upon it before running like a demon was on your heels.

A hand wrapped around your ankle. You gasp in surprise. You do look over your shoulder to see Jiraiya had caught up. His expression cruelly amused as his hand gripped your ankle and pulled you to the ground. You land face first halfway out of your home.

He began to pull you back. You grip the wood underneath you. It made a horrible scraping sound as your nails failed to find something to hold onto. You’d scream if you could. But the bellyflop took your breath away and winded you. The best you managed was a wheeze.

You kick at him and grab the doorframe. Anything to buy some time. You aren’t going doing without some kind of struggle! You roll to the side, which allowed you to gulp in air. You open your mouth and inhale deeply. You are prepared to scream until your throat is bleeding.

“AA-!” You got out a note.

Then your head was slammed against the doorframe. Pain exploded across your head and stunned you. Jiraiya must have thrown you into it. In that moment of confusion you lost your iron grip on the door.

One final pull and you are forced back in. A heavy weight is placed on your back. It’s followed with pain. Jiraiya has his knee and most of his weight pressed against you. In a last ditch effort, you form a seal to try and do something. Any kind of attack! You don’t care if it is your teacher! This is not the same person squashed your self doubts and consoled you when you failed at something. This is a crazy stalker who has bad intentions!

He grabbed your left hand and forced it back. He yanked it behind your back at a painful angle. From this position you can’t do anything to him. He is too far up to kick and your free hand can only weakly reach back to whack him in pathetically weak hits. When he leaned forward, it added more of his weight on you. His knee ground into your spine like a pestle grinding into the mortar, breaking down everything in its way.

“Let me go!” You strain to speak. It hurts to as he’s restraining your lungs again with this uncomfortable pin.

“I can’t.... I won’t let you out of my sight again.” Jiraiya said, his voice calm and quiet.

From the corner of your eye, you see Jiraiya’s hand. It’s approaching your face. You turn your head away. It was a wasted effort. No matter how you tried to curl your face away from him, he simply maneuvered his hand around to try again. His hand clasped over your mouth after only a few moments of this pathetic attempt to get away. He pinched your nose at the same time. You claw at him with your free hand to no avail. His grip never wavered no matter if you made him bleed.

Your struggling began to weaken. Without a proper way to get air, you lose your strength. The more you lose the more you panic. You don’t want to die. Not like this. By the hand of the very man who taught you... practically raised you. It’s hard to digest. Jiraiya was capable of more than he lets on. He was capable of cold blooded acts. A monster that was deep under the surface of his skin. So deep that no one would ever know it was there until he decided it was time to show it.

“Don’t worry, sunflower.” His voice was a centimetre away. It was warm and you could feel his teeth against the back of your ear. “I’ll keep you safe.”

It’s the last thing you hear.... The last thing that your brain registered... Your vision goes black. There’s a ringing in your ears. You pass out... unsure if you will ever wake up again.

...

..

The first thing your consciousness noticed was your ability to breath freely. No hands or body weight restrained you. The air is cold to breath in. It’s dry. It’s still. It’s very quiet. You are on your back with a soft surface cushioning your body.

Why are you alive? The memories of what happened to you was still clear in your mind. Jiraiya was your stalker. He may have murdered your boyfriend. He suffocated you. Yet you live. He only did it to the point you passed out. But why would he do that? You know too much.

He can only want you alive for only a few select reasons.

Fear picked up your heartbeat again. Those reasons are not good ones. You know who he is and what he’s done. His obsession with you means he wants to keep you, not kill you as some stalkers do. That feels more merciful. Whatever he has planned for you can’t be a good time.

Opening your eyes took time. It wasn’t the peaceful laze you felt earlier. Your head hurts. Your torso is sore. There’s an ache in your wrist. Your ankle feels so... cold and heavy. Curiosity overtook the fear. You open your eyes.

It’s a small room. Concrete and cold. Dark. There’s nothing in it aside from a metal pole in the middle that must be helping support the weight of whatever was above this room. You look at it closer. It was the only thing to focus on. It’s black and shiny. It didn’t have any major damage like rust or dents. Your eyes look down the straight line to the base of the pole. Your toes came into view as a result.

Fuck...

Your ankle feels so heavy due to a metal shackle clasped around it. You sit up and reach for it. You pull on the chain that was attaching the shackle to the base of the pole. It clinked and jingled. It was loud. It cut the silence of the room.

Thunk!

You look up where the muffled sound came from. It sounded like a step or something being dropped. Crap! The noise alerted someone! You look around more frantically. Now you see the looming stairway across the room. It was just as shadowed as the rest of the room and hard to see. The occasional screams of the floorboards above you lead towards them.

He’s coming!

Thankfully, a jutsu does exist for this. An escape jutsu that was basically a type of substitute. The point being to make a quick escape when bound. You learned it a long time ago. Jiraiya taught it to you. He said it would be useful to know. Because duh, there’s a crazy man stalking you. It does make one wonder why he would teach you something that would cause his undoing. You’ll break free and kick his ass. There’s no point in being merciful now. He’s insane!

You form the seals and state the name of the jutsu. You stare at the shackle with an expectation of it no longer being around your ankle....

Nothing happened. The steps are getting closer.

There’s a creak and a flood of light as the door to this basement was opened. You hold in a whimper and try again. Maybe in your haste you didn’t apply enough chakra. Yeah. That must be it.

Nothing.

Why?! You’ve done this long enough to know what to do! It should have worked! You should be free and preparing to jump the madman keeping you hostage. The soreness in your torso grows. It continues to at a steady rate until it almost feels like it’s cramping. It’s the same pain as a stomach ache.

You still have your house robe on. Which was the only comfort you have in this absolutely hellish situation. The yellow of the painted petals on them are brightest thing in this god forsaken hell hole. You pull it open to see if something was wrong. Bruises or maybe some more severe damage is messing up your flow and focus in your body.

“What?..” The words fall quietly from your mouth.

There’s a black mark there. More than a mark. Seals... they’re seals. It’s the mark of a five prong seal. It’s design to block access to a person’s chakra. You probably couldn’t even make a clone. Jiraiya had boasted that he was quite good at this particular seal and demonstrated how to preform it. Upon reflection, he never said how to break it. He most likely is the only one who can. Which means...

Dread. The cold grip of dread fills you as this only means one thing. You can’t fight back. Even Taijutsu requires a certain amount of chakra to preform. They best you got in your arsenal is the natural strength you have without your chakra, which he had already proven to be much stronger than. You are at the mercy of your captor.

“Good evening, sunflower. How was your rest?”

A wave of sickness washes over you at the sound of his voice. You look up to see Jiraiya standing across the room. The sight of him only worsened your stomach pain. He’s holding something. It’s a tray.

“You gotta be hungry.”

You don’t reply. The thought of taking food from him is making you feel even sicker. He approaches with his spread of food anyways, setting it down within arms reach of you. He remains crouched in front of you after he did. As he observed you, you observe the tray. Meeting his eyes was hard. It’s hard to believe he was really the madman behind your years of torment. On the platter was a glass of water and a bowl of your favourite food. It’s usual enticing aroma was now tainted by him. No spoon or any other sort of utensils. He doesn’t trust you with them. As cautious as ever, isn’t he?

“Where am I?” You ask.

“My home. Where else would you be? You must remain close to me.” His voice is so casual. Like he was talking about what he had for lunch rather than speaking of the dark subject of keeping you hostage.

Jiraiya reaches out his hand towards you. You flinch with his fingers graze your belly. He runs his fingers along the seal. Your skin feels like it’s burning. Sizzling under his touch. It slowly grazed down dangerously close to areas you don’t wish him to touch. You grab his wrist.

“Heh heh... Don’t worry. I wouldn’t dream of touching you without your permission.” He promised with a smile. “I’m just admiring. You probably already figured out what that seal does.”

“I can’t access my chakra.”

“Very good, sunflower. You always were very clever.”

You grab your robe and pull it back close. His hand retracts, dragging along your thigh before returning it to his side. His eyes are looking you over slowly.

“You’ll come to realize I’m doing this all to protect you.” Jiraiya continues to speak. “I love you. I don’t think I could live without you. If you got hurt, I won’t forgive myself.”

You watch him as he spoke. The range of emotions on his face ring genuine. The sorrow and fear. He is crazy, but only for you. It’s clear that his unhealthy obsession with you and his fears of loss had made him come to this conclusion. He’s lost a lot of people in his life and he wasn’t about to lose you.

“C... Can I ask you something?” You ask.

“Anything.”

You need confirmation. If just for closure.

“What did you do to Tori?”

His expression dropped. It fell into a cold frown. He stared at you for several seconds. Then a grin split his lips. His eyes sparkle with a pride and delight. The change in expression was so sudden it does come off as mad.

“Don’t worry yourself with him anymore. He’s long gone.” Jiraiya answered with glee. “No one will ever get in the way of us!...” His smile faded a little and his eyes spoke of something angry and intense... but it’s hard to place exactly what. “I won’t let anyone get in the way anymore.”

The shift in his voice was dark. It was a grim statement spoken as a twisted promise to you. He won’t let anyone take you away. He’d probably kill anyone who tried. Even your teammate and friends. They’re his friends too but if they ever found out then he wouldn’t hesitate.

This was your life now... wasn’t it? Tears flood your vision. They quickly break and fall down your cheeks. Your head tilts to face the ground as you cry. A life stuck in this dark hole. A prisoner to a man you thought would always protect you. The man you trusted so much was the person you feared. Now he had you and there’s nothing you can do.

The once comforting presence of Jiraiya was now incredibly sinister. He continued to stay crouched in front of you. His hand now reached for your face. He wiped away your tears like he once had when you were a child.

“I know it doesn’t seem like it now.” Your teacher lovingly said. His hand continued to be gentle as he caressed your face. “But I know you’ll come around to understand why I’m doing this.”

You don’t reply. Jiraiya let out a soft sigh. He leaned forward and his lips press against the top of your head. He stroked your hair a few times oh so lovingly. These gestures did at one point make you feel better. Now not so much. They feel strange and gross. It was more like a unknown pervert was touching you rather than the man you trusted for over ten years.

“I’ll leave you to it. Please... eat. You’ll feel better.” He urged you. He stood up. “The bathroom is around the corner. The chain will reach, don’t worry.”

You raise your head. He’s leaving. He walks across the room. He stopped at the first step to turn to you one last time. Your eyes connect with his. He smiles. In the past that smile would have comforted you. If sensei was confident and assuring, then there was nothing to fear. But that smile now was now a cold reminder of how delusional he is. Seeing it froze your heart rather than melt it.

“I’m happy you’re finally mine, sunflower. I know you’ll be happy here.” He chirps jovially. “Once you do realize how much you love me... You can live freely with me. Because that is what you are meant to do.” 

You stare at him, face stuck in sorrow. Jiraiya didn’t give much of a reaction. It was clear he thought he was right. You will have a change of heart in his opinion. He climbs the stairs and leaves you be.

You don’t move for sometime. You are neither hungry or thirsty. The food in front of you will go cold and forgotten. Taking anything from him felt wrong. Even if it was for survival.

You lay back down on the cot, curling up into a tight ball. It’s cold in this room. You don’t have a blanket. Just a thin roll of fabric that made the ground less uncomfortable. You try to find warmth within your own body. But the chakra that once kept you warm and helped you survive was sealed away. It all felt so bleak.

For hours you cry. You screamed. But no one came. Not Tori. Not Kushina. Minato didn’t even hear your wails of despair. Not even your captor came to check on you. It’s only when your throat turns raw and your eyes burn do you stop. Exhaustion took over.

You fall asleep. No dreams come. There’s only an empty cold void, like the concrete room around you. You know when you wake it’s all you will see. Perhaps for the rest of your life these four walls will be your company.

For how can you bring yourself to love a madman?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw snap! What shall become of you dear reader? Personally I’m down to be tied in a basement by him but what can I say, I’m weird. I just wanted to write him as kinda crazy because he’s so stable in canon haha. I know we were all about protective Jiraiya a few weeks ago but crazy Jiraiya kinda where it at too damn. 
> 
> Also happy belated birthday to our boi Naruto. I wanted to write a chapter in a day for 10/10 but work kicked my ass so hard I got home and curled up on the couch and was out. So hopefully I can do something to make up for it at a later date.


	52. The Price of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jiraiya approached Tsunade and asked her to follow him, she thought it would be to home. The village just suffered a heavy attack after all. Sensei died and the death toll is higher than it should be. They are in desperate need of a leader. Instead, he takes her somewhere unexpected and... honestly very creepy. Just what exactly lays beyond the darkness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a stranger one not gonna lie. Trying my hand again at that different perspective thing this time from best stronk gorl’s eyes. As the one who knows nothing has the fresh perspective that I think a concept like this needs. Idk roast me in the comments if it’s crap idk if it’s all that good.

Something is off. Very off. Jiraiya was uncharacteristically quiet. He led the way while Tsunade followed, which was then followed by Shizune who held Ton Ton tightly. The little thing has been shaking since he showed up. She didn’t like something about how he was acting. Neither did the women who follow him. If she hadn’t known him since childhood, Tsunade would be more suspicious. He’s just in a bad mood or something.

“You can be so hard to find.” Jiraiya cut the quiet with a lighthearted comment. “I’ve been looking around for you for two weeks.”

“Sorry to hold you up. Just where are we going?” She replied.

“... You’ll see. Just trust me.”

That was beginning to be tough to do. It’s very quiet over here. In the middle of the woods. This is how people go missing. It’s beginning to feel as if all that’ll be found of them will be bags and shoes.

Jiraiya stopped in the middle of a clearing. He looked around, checking his surroundings with a critical eye. His gaze locked with hers and he offered a smile.

“I know I’m acting weird. It’s just hard to talk about.” He offered a sort of apology.

“What’s going on? Are you in trouble?”

“No....” His gaze casts to the floor. He pauses for several moments before sighing. “I... You’ll see. Shizune.”

The girl looked up from comforting her pet to staring a little wide eyed at him. She too is getting uneasy with him.

“I need to take Tsunade down here alone. Are you willing to wait here for a while?”

Instead of answering, she looked to Tsunade for guidance. She won’t leave unless told. And what the hell did he mean by down here? This is Jiraiya. Even if he is being suspicious, Tsunade does trust him. He must have some sort of problem meant for her eyes and ears alone. She nods. Her niece returns it.

“Okay. But I’ll be close if you need me.”

Again, Tsunade nods. Honestly all she would have to do is utter a note of distress and Shizune would be there in a snap. She’s good backup.

“Don’t worry.” Jiraiya offered a more lighthearted tone again. His smile more joking as it usually is. “I won’t take up too much of her time.”

He kneeled down and grabbed at the grass. Oh... that’s hidden well. So well that anyone who came across it would never suspect anything. Not even a ninja trained in seeking would find this the first time. He pulled on the metal ring that seemed to have appeared from no where. Attached to it was a hatch. He pulls it open with ease to reveal a dark hole. An underground something was just beyond the darkness.

Jiraiya jumped in first, offering some semblance of trust. It’s not dangerous. Just suspicious as all hell. Tsunade sighs before hopping down after him. The stone under her feet is... carved. That’s what it looks like. Ridges and grooves in the stone like someone carved it out with tools. It’s perfectly square. It’s completely man made and... unnatural. The hall ahead of her is black as the only light is the square halo from the open hatch above her head. It has a very menacing tone to it. As if monsters lurk just beyond the blackness.

“Where are we going?” She asks more quietly. It feels as if speaking loudly may disturb whatever is beyond her vision.

“To see a friend.” Was the cryptic answer she got.

“Jiraiya. Come on. Cut the crap and just tell me.”

He didn’t reply. He stared into the darkness like it held a secret from him. A sad one. There’s a longing look to him. There’s something in that darkness he wants.

“I’m sorry. It’ll make better sense if you just see it.” Jiraiya still didn’t explain himself. He continued to be vague. “It’s not really my place to explain.” He paused for a moment. He took a step away from the safety of the light into the darkness. Even from that short step he was almost completely shrouded. It was like this hallways just fed on the light to stay in the ominous dark. “If you don’t like it, then go out the way you came. They already know we’re here.”

Okay. That’s as ominous as the darkness. Just what the fuck is going on here? When Jiraiya requested she follow, Tsunade half expected to be taken back to Konoha. She heard through the grapevine that the village was destroyed during a raid that Orochimaru had orchestrated. He pulled the strings of the Sand and with the combined power of his own military he made, they did a significant amount of damage. He even took down sensei. So why in the world did Jiraiya take her to this mysterious place?

The curiosity was bigger than her suspicion. Jiraiya always has good reasons for his ways. Tsunade took a step into the darkness, the light of the sun was no longer beaming on her. It’s cold. It’s creepy. There’s an icy air caressing her ankles as if something was teasing her. The moment she drops her guard, it’ll lock around her leg and pull her off her feet into the void. With Jiraiya next to her... it was more bearable. He always had her back. No matter what.

“Then just take me wherever it is you need to.” She said.

In the low light that barely illuminated his body, Jiraiya turned his head to look at her. There’s enough of a glint to catch his eyes. They’ve always been so easy to read. He’s thankful. Why.... she didn’t know. What could make her so essential for him to ask her to come along? He’s not scared of the dark. If he was, he wouldn’t seek her out to face it. He offers her his hand.

“There’s some twists and traps laid in the hall. I’ll navigate you through it.”

How did he know? How many times has he been here?

Nevertheless, she nods and grasps his hand. He has good reason. He always had for the strange things he does. He led her into the almost suffocating darkness. No matter how long she stayed in it, her every never seemed to adjust. The best she could do was make out the vague shape of Jiraiya in the pitch black.

First she was pulled right. Then again. Then a left. He muttered for her to stick against the wall. She used her free hand to feel for it and stay by it as he continued to mama duck her through this place. Just what is at the end of this maze? It has to be a hideout of some kind. Something with this much precautions put into it does not simply hold nothing.

It was very quiet. The two sets of feet stepping on the stone was the only noise. There was no sound ahead. Nothing above the decibel of the steps if there was. This whole place was eerie. It was only made stranger as Jiraiya navigated the place like he was born to it. The darkness that most people fear didn’t phase him. A face could suddenly pop out like this was a cheesy horror film and he’d probably just shrug it off.

Another turn. At this point it was a little disorientating. Was that left? Or right? It was hard to gain any kind of bearings in this unbreakable darkness.

The next step she took echoed. From that alone it was easy to place that she just entered a large room. Vast and... exposing. It was very cold in this room. Just how deep underground is this place? It feels like it could burrow into the core of the earth. Despite how strange this room felt, Jiraiya was not phased. He pulled her into it without hesitation before stopping suddenly. It was intentionally this spot. Who knows why this spot in particular is an answer she does not have. At this point it feels like he had led Tsunade into the home of an ancient being. Perhaps the devil himself is in this place.

The warm whoosh of flame was a surprise. Her already on edge nerves jumped when torches lit up. It was almost as by magic as the orange glow of the flames lit up the room. They lined the walls every few feet. Stealing a quick glance behind her to the hall she was led through revealed they too had torches. It was almost like a cruel joke. Was there really a need to navigate in complete and utter all consuming darkness? Even then was the right path lit or were all the paths that the mysterious hallway have are now illuminated?

Jiraiya had dropped her hand a few moments before the fires were lit. Looking over to him revealed he had his hands in a seal. Looking to the ground revealed they were both standing on a circle of some sort. A switch or seal that activated the torches seemed most likely. So it requires someone who knows this place well in order to light the way. How peculiar. A safety precaution of some sort. It would be completely impossible to tail someone in the dark without having a light. Just why would someone be so cautious? What’s down here? Why does Jiraiya seem to be apart of it? It’s starting to feel very cult like or something. It’s nefarious whatever it is he’s hiding down here.

Across the room was another hall. He’s staring at it with an expectation. There are other people then. There has to be. As if to confirm, the sound of footsteps began to sound. It was quiet but quickly began to gain volume.

A feminine figure began to grow in view from the other hall. Jiraiya was not alarmed by her sudden presence. Actually, he looked excited. His dull expression lighting up with recognition and joy at the sight of her. The smile on his face real for the first time since Tsunade had met up with him. He jogged forward to meet up with her halfway between the centre of the room and the hall the woman will emerge from.

“Welcome back!” The woman cheered happily with her arms up and ready to greet him with a hug.

That’s when it finally hit.

You.

How are you here?

Tsunade stared at you in disbelief. You embraced Jiraiya tightly and he was gleeful to return it. He spun you around in the hug before releasing you, just to lean down and kiss you.

You haven’t aged a day. You still look like you had when you.... died. Over twenty years ago. In the midst of war. You were a casualty. It was horrible. Jiraiya was a wreak for a long time. He was a terror for the first month. He lashed out with bitter words that stung. He screamed. He cried. He drank and holed himself in his now one occupant home for days. There was plenty a time he was found curled up in the corner of a room gripping something of yours and just shaking with too many emotions. He spiralled so hard and so quickly. He was downright suicidal after your death. It took a lot to get him out of that place.

So how is it that you’re here now?

You look wonderful. Your beauty and life preserved like it never left. The only thing that really changed was your clothing. Which was a simple off white kimono with a purple sash around your waist. It wasn’t really your style. In fact was eerily similar to the clothing you were buried in.

You held onto Jiraiya with your cheek rested on his chest as you once had so many years ago. Your eyes shut and a content smile on your face. You look almost ethereal. Unreal. At peace. The dead can’t come back to life. This can’t be you. Not really anyways. It was a cruel trick or something to play with Jiraiya’s emotions. His guard was completely dropped and he had melted into your embrace. He held onto you like you would disappear if he didn’t. The smile on his face was the happiest he’s expressed in years. As your death had left a mark on him that always plagued his emotions. He never smiled like this after your passing.

This isn’t something to trust. You died. Your body is still rotting away in Konoha’s cemetery. This was an apparition. Or a transformation. Something. Whatever it is it’s not you. Frankly it’s in poor taste. The dead should never be used like this.

“Jiraiya?” Tsunade said quietly. It was hard to speak. There’s a lump in her throat she can’t quite swallow down. Everything about this is telling her something bad is or is about to happen. “Who... is this?”

“I know it’s been more than a few years, but I thought you would at least recognize my wife when you saw her.” He replied with a chuckle.

“But she... That can’t be her. I remember when she died.”

You raised your lids and stared at her in confusion. Jiraiya simply held you tighter. His hand gripping a fistful of the back of your kimono. He frowns and grew defensive.

“Yeah. I do too. But she’s back.”

Is he in denial? It’s not totally out of the question. He loved you so much. A good part of him died the same day you did. It’s no surprise that he would fall for a trick like this and so desperately hold on. Tsunade shook her head slowly. She understood that need and want to hold on. But it’s all false. It only hurts more to hold on like that.

“There is no jutsu or scroll that can bring back the dead.” She declares.

“I thought that too...”

He turned his head back to the hallway. Tsunade raised her gaze back to it as well. Great. More people are coming. When the recognizable figure of Orochimaru entered the room, the alarm bells she had been ignoring the whole time could no longer be ignored. Nothing that man touches is good. It’s always evil and smells of death.

If this man was involved... Who else would be talented enough... and twisted enough to raise the dead and restore them to their former glory? If this is indeed not a trick. She should have guessed.

But what did that mean for Jiraiya? Just what is the price of resurrection? If this was actually a true case of the impossible and you are back, just what would draw the line? You are worth the world to him. He’s had many a drunk conversation with her saying how he would do anything just to hold you again. What exactly did ‘anything’ mean?

“My dear Tsunade. Welcome.” Orochimaru greeted her with a smile.

He’s too close for comfort now. With him here he’s now completes the small circle they are standing in. Tsunade stays wary. She watches him. Those hands of his can take life just as quickly as they can grant it. Yet... he’s not exactly carrying himself as he usually does. He’s slumped forward slightly, his arms dangling limply and swaying like dead weight. They are bandaged up. But from where she stands she can see the blacken rotted clots of blood that speckled the bandages. The smell that came from them was the rancid sweetness of flesh spoiled. That’s not good. There’s something wrong with his arms. By the sweat that beaded his brow and heavy breathing, it must be both painful and poisonous to the rest of his body.

“What happened to you?” She asks coldly.

“Sensei is as tricky as ever. No matter how we prepared.” Orochimaru said, taking an obvious glance to Jiraiya, who didn’t reply.

It was obvious enough what he was implying. Jiraiya is a good actor. He’s also well trusted in Konoha. No one would suspect him to be treacherous. Tsunade took a moment to look him over as well. How did he help? His head bowed, his bangs falling heavy to hide his face. It’s easy to imagine shame is on his features for aiding his old friend in such a task. There’s plenty he could have done to let the invasion happen and happen with ease. Maybe he simply turned a blind eye when he knew what was to happen. Or did he let the doors open? She heard there was lots of casualties. Too much to simply forget or forgive.... How could you, Jiraiya? Just how many died because of your selfishness? Is the price of love worth all the pain left in your wake?

You are quick to caress his face and guide it so he had no choice but to look at you. Within a few moments he’s leaned back down to your level to nuzzle his cheek against yours. All his worries are so quickly put at ease with you here.

“He stole the use of my arms before dying like a dog.” Orochimaru rudely insulted a dead man before continuing his explanation. “Without them, I’m afraid I can’t work on what I need to. I was hoping we could come to an understanding here. Much like how Jiraiya had....” He again pauses to motion with his head towards the happy couple. “Just look at what he’s done and the joy that’s back in his life. You can have that too if you help me.”

She inhales and pauses. The word no was just on her tongue but...

Look how happy he is. All those years of grief and pain that had taken such a heavy toll on Jiraiya was gone. It was like you have never left. He was enchanted by your presence. Absorbed in your attention and at peace beside you. It’s... nice seeing him happy again. She does miss that. Her own love and family stolen from her almost at the same time you died. Envy rises like a bitter pill stuck in her throat at seeing what she could have again.

“What would I have to do?” The question had been on her mind for awhile. Surely whatever had to be done was not simple.

“Heal my arms.” Orochimaru answers like it was something simple. He then stood up straight and hid the grimace of pain it caused him. That tricky grin was back on his face. “In exchange I’ll bring back Dan. Nawaki too if that’s what you wish. I’ll need a few... fresh ingredients but if Jiraiya can do it, I imagine you can do it too.”

So that’s the key. Why is she not surprised? The darkest parts of her imagination are conjuring the ingredients he might need. Her lifetime of medical experience offering a different perspective on the idea of resurrection, but the recipe was straightforward. Orochimaru will probably need the original bodies. Along with two live sacrifices to absorb their lives into the dead to revive them. That was the idea, wasn’t it? That made the most sense. It was also the most grim.

“I can see the cogs turning in your head. You’ve figured it out, not that I would expect any different. I can assure you that you don’t even have to meet the people I use to sacrifice.” He offered comfort. “Although...”

There’s a shriek from behind. Tsunade’s heart leaps around in her chest. She knows the voice that shriek belongs to. It echoes as it was far in the catacombs Jiraiya led her through. Shizune! Oh god was she alright?

Her fear must have been clear, because Orochimaru spoke again.

“Oh don’t worry. She’s fine. Kabuto has simply taken her down for a chat shall we say.” He assures. “I’m sure with you telling her it’s fine, she’ll understand. I could use another pair of talented hands around here. But if she doesn’t agree... I’m sure her death can be useful too.”

Crap. Shizune.... she should have stayed put.

Even without the blackmail that could be used against her, Tsunade was leaning towards agreeing. She remains quiet as she weighs her options before making a final decision.

It was then Jiraiya tore his attention from you. He gave you a loving, very passionate and heated kiss before breaking away. He quietly shooed you away to stand further back as he stood beside Orochimaru tense and defensive. How deep in the hole was he? What terms did he agree to in order to bring you back? Was he so easily swayed? There’s conflict in his eyes as he holds an inner fight. She knows him. He’s fighting with his conscience and his obligation to serve whatever debt he owes. He didn’t want to, but he’ll fight her if he had to. A cold resilience overtook his emotional eyes as he steeled himself to the idea.

In the background, Tsunade can see you. Her eyes met yours. There’s bright. They’re emotional. They’re alive. They look around lively at the three adults preparing to duke it out with worry. It’s been a long time since someone cared that much over them. It’s been so long since someone worried like that. Shizune was always fully confident in her ability. However Dan wouldn’t want them to fight like this. Nawaki would be at least a little into it, ready to be her cheerleader. Heh... he was always such a fun kid.

“I need proof.” She stated. She looks at you. “How do I know this isn’t a trick?”

“But of course.” Orochimaru turned to you and motioned for you to come forward. “Show her, my dear.”

You are hesitant to walk forward. You stopped beside Jiraiya once you made it back to his side. He of course grabbed your hand and walked very close behind you. Again he was on guard, mistrustful of Tsunade’s intentions. She wasn’t planning on hurting you... Not unless this is all a farce. Even if he ends up hating her for doing it, he’s better off without that emotional manipulation of having a fake you around.

She checks your wrist and neck for a pulse. Both beat steady with a normal bpm. Your skin is warm. You are breathing.... But what about your memories? She stays quiet for a moment. You are quiet too. Simply staying at Tsunade with both curiosity and familiarity.

Hm... a memory only you and her share. It’s hard to think of one that didn’t involve Jiraiya. You were attached to the hip to him since school. She didn’t really grow all that close to you until after graduation. Even after being split into a different team, you still did all you could to meet up with Jiraiya. Practically every training day ended with him colliding with you in a hug at the edge of the field. It was really cute to see how close and in love her teammate was with you. He proposed to you just out of teens and you picked her to be your one and only bridesmaid.

During which time Jiraiya was oddly stingy. He stuck to traditional rules and superstitions when it came to marriage. Which included not seeing you for a few days. That meant Tsunade was the one caught in between. From you wanting so desperately to see him and him whispering ideas to her about what sexy lingerie she should put in the honeymoon bag for you. But what stuck out during that time was the small moments. The things you and her shared without your groomzilla looming around. One of those small but memorable things does come to mind.

“What did I break right before you went into your wedding ceremony?”

Your eyes widened. Then you laugh. That hasn’t changed. It was how she remembered. Loud and happy. It was kinda similar to Jiraiya’s contagious and unapologetically loud laughs. You filled the room with your joy.

“My hair pin! The beads just slid right off the string after you spent an hour trying to put it in my hair!” You answer gleefully.

That’s right. You were a good sport about it. You had a particular vision in mind for your hair that included a family heirloom hair pin. Tsunade is far from a hairdresser, but she tried her best to make a bun and pin the antique in your hair. The dangling precious stone beads rattled the whole time. The moment she had it at a perfect place and let it go, the knot holding the beads gave out and scattered into oblivion. You laughed it off and said it was fine.

“I didn’t know that happened.” Jiraiya remarks.

You leaned back to rest against his chest while looking up at him. His arms wrap around you.

“Really? I thought I told you. There was a reason my hair was so plain.”

“You? Plain? Impossible!”

You and him share a laugh. He bends down to give you a kiss. Your fingers run through his hair... It looks nice. It’s been so long since she’s been held like that. Secure and loved against the body of her beloved.

“I....” She hesitates for a moment. The hole in her heart could be healed. The anguish could be healed. Her family could be whole again. “I’m sure Shizune will come around. She just doesn’t understand yet.”

Jiraiya relaxes with a sigh. Orochimaru’s smile grew more wicked.

“I knew we would agree.” He said. He made a motion with his head towards the hall from whence he came. “We can discuss it later. Come now, you must be tired after travelling all day.”

It felt like she just signed a contract without reading all the terms and conditions. Tsunade took that first step forward, feeling as though she could not turn back. Jiraiya gently pulled you along to fall in stride. Orochimaru led everyone into the grim feeling hideout ahead.

Once entered into the next hall, it felt like she couldn’t turn back. She agreed to this. She was in the same uncertain and emotional boat as Jiraiya. Only he had already gotten his prize. How wonderful it must be. She craves to have them back just as he had craved for you. In her mind she can imagine being held by Dan again. Content and happy to stand in a fulfilling embrace. And to have Nawaki back again. To now have the opportunity to watch him grow and thrive would be... indescribable. There’s nothing else she could ever want.

“Just think of the things we’ll achieve together, my friends.” Orochimaru dropped his voice into a dangerous sounding whisper. As if he himself was picturing what it could mean if they united again in that very moment. “The world as we know it will fall to our will.”

Jiraiya casted a disapproving look to the man before him. Tsunade had done the same. Talking like that is making her fear for the future. Then her eyes locked with his. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. There’s a forlorn warning there that told her to wait. It was as if he was telling her to be patient. As if today wasn’t emotionally exhausting and full of mystery already, she wasn’t exactly sure what he was telling her to be patient for. Rebellion? Or did he agree with this mantra, but had a different vision of how to achieve it? He never did like working with others for too long.

“Come, darling. Our room is this way.” You spoke softly, gently tugging Jiraiya down the fork that appeared in the hall.

“Our room?” Jiraiya asks in jest. He follows you with a small chuckle. “I’ve never been in this room. Just what could we do together to officially welcome me into it?”

“I’m sure you already know!”

Giggles echo in the hall. Tsunade had slowed her steps to watch as the giddiness of being together had taken both you and Jiraiya. He scooped you off of your feet before locking your lips in a kiss. He kicked in a door and carried you inside of the room beyond it. Hopefully her room isn’t too close by. It’s been twenty years, but she does remember that you were a screamer. It was hard enough to live in the same apartment complex as you and Jiraiya back in the day. Living only a few feet away in an echoey underground hideout for sometime didn’t sound great.

“They don’t waste time, do they?” Orochimaru asks in bemusement.

“No. They never did.”

He snickers in response. After a length of wall, it broke again to another fork. He paused and motioned to the hall.

“Down here is your room. I don’t wish to overwhelm you. We’ll speak more in the morning.” He was being rather accommodating. It wasn’t usually like him.

“Thanks...” Tsunade trails off and looks him over. Those injuries... “Aren’t you in pain?”

“It’s not so bad. Bearable for now. It’s best for you to look at it later. I need to get back to work and you look exhausted.” He shrugged off her question. He motioned towards the straight path that continues on in the hideout. “I’m just down the hall if you have any questions.”

Tsunade simply nods and strolls down the short hall that held her room. Like the one you and Jiraiya went into, a door was closed at the end of it to the right. She entered it and shut the door behind her. Perhaps she is tired. All that had happened was a lot to digest. There’s plenty to think about.

First the cons came about in her mind. She didn’t know the way out. Her niece is being held prisoner somewhere in here. Even if she didn’t want to help she’s stranded up shit creek without a paddle. The odds are certainly stacked against her. Even so... she did want to help. They didn’t need to hold these things above her to convince her. Honestly, all she would have to do is strike the wall or roof and the place will tumble apart. She’ll take her remaining family and stride off with head held high. Their threats mean nothing. She’d strike down Jiraiya if he tried to interfere. He’s clearly sided with Orochimaru now. But she didn’t want to fight.

Dan.... Nawaki...

Who wouldn’t want to see the people they love the most again? Her dearly departed won’t be departed anymore. It’s not exactly natural, but she wants it. She wants it so badly. Her husband and brother back in her life like they never left. The happiness Jiraiya had while with you had fuelled her deeply buried want to be loved like that again.

With a sigh, Tsunade strolled over to the bed. It was the only thing in the room aside from a desk with a chair. A nap would be good. She needs to be on her top game tomorrow to inspect Orochimaru’s wounds.

She kicks off her shoes and laid down. She’s worried. Hopefully Shizune is okay. She was promised that her niece is fine. Just imprisoned until she understood. Surely Shizune would want to see her family again, wouldn’t she? Their deaths took a toll on her too.

Just... focus on rest, before the thumping from the room a few feet away gets too loud. Tomorrow was going to be long. Tsunade had already come up with a plan of action. Ask for proof and make demands. Shizune must be unharmed. Heal one arm, get one man in return. Heal the other for the other.... Don’t back down from the challenge.

Do it for family. No matter the consequences that are to come.

Once she makes up her mind, Tsunade never wavers. She had to do this. She will do this. Happiness is just around the corner. Only just out of reach for now. After doing plenty of hard work, the reward will be worth everything.

Do it for Dan.

Do it for Nawaki.

Shizune will understand. She’ll be happy to have them back too.

Nothing else matters other than them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s spooky month, I wanted to do a dark mystery moment. Plus the living dead. The cliff jump from canon wasn’t exactly planned but it would be interesting if the Sannin reunited under darker circumstances. Especially of those circumstances are dictated by the most twisted of the three. When Orochimaru promised something similar to Tsunade in the show I kinda always wonder if he proposed something similar to Jiraiya if he too had lost a significant other he loved in his young adult years. Just what exactly happened here, my dear readers? And what is to come? I liked the theme of love conquers conflict the show promotes, but love can also twist a person if just to cling to that they lost but still love. That’s kinda the theme of guess lol. As well as too many god damn questions and not enough answers. May you dwell upon them as I have as I don’t have the full picture here yet.


	53. Dragon’s Den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept by a lovely reader! 
> 
> They say dragons are terrifying creatures. Yet the one who stole you away is neither scary or cruel. It’s only when he wants to play does he get a little intimidating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Bdsm stuff! Reader is the sub while he’s the dom. Enjoy if you into it!

For months now you’ve been stuck in this place. A worn down castle at the top of a mountain. Without the upkeep and maintenance, nature had claimed some of it back. Plants have grown where they aren’t normally seen. Vines and flowers that climb and sprout from the stones. The livable space was still livable, it was just as if the castle itself was alive. Animals tend to hang around the area. Mostly toads. They seem to have a nest or something atop this mountain. They are quite used to humans.. or at least humanoids. Despite the appearance of this castle, it does have a master. The master of the castle likes to pet the toads. They like his presence. You’ve grown to enjoy petting them too. Their bumpy skin isn’t so bad. Neither is their company since you are alone during the day. Wasting a few hours to watch your amphibious friends navigate the kitchen or bath was entertaining. Most fairytale castles have fairies or mice, this one has toads to befriend the princess that dwells within it. Other than interacting with the toads, you spend plenty of time exploring the castle or simply staying in the bedroom to spend away the hours until the return of the grand creature that owns this castle.

The master of the castle often leaves during the day. He travels around looking for things to put in his home. He loves items of an erotic nature. His hoard is a mixture of pornography of different mediums. A refined collection. He only takes the best.

Hundreds of books are on the old shelves and in piles on the floor in front of them. Art both professional and amateur are framed on every available spot on the walls. They all depict different things. From soft core beautiful women naked and posing, to couples of all kinds having different kinds of sex. Some include things like one of the partners being tied up or flogged. Or humans with demons in a bloody, but passionate union. When you first arrived, you’ve never seen such images before. They made you flush. Who knew such things existed in such quantities!

You entertain yourself during the day by sifting through the items. You’ve learned quite a lot. Before the master of the castle took you away, you’ve had a very narrow view on things. You have been locked away in a tower since childhood with very little for education. You’ve never seen any of the things that decorate this castle with no shame. Devices meant for self pleasure lay in a chest beside the bed. Your master has given you permission to use them whenever you like. Some of them are so big it’s hard to believe anyone can have that inside of them. It doesn’t stop you from trying the smaller ones. There’s plenty of lubricants to aid you. Some of them smell good, others taste better. While it does feel good, it’s nothing to your master.

As the sunsets, excitement grows. You shift your legs. Your thighs rub together as you know what’s going to happen to you. Your master is going to be home soon. You run to the bed and sit on your knees right at the foot of it. The canopy frame lacks the normal curtains. Instead the top bar has hooks that hold various tools. Cuffs and rods to restrain limbs. Gags and collars swing and clatter together. Whips and other devices used for inflicting pain is mounted above the pillows. So far only the hand and ankle cuffs have been used on you. The word delicate comes up a lot when your master speaks about using the harder things on you. He didn’t like to. He thinks you’re too... soft. He mostly keeps these toys as apart of his collection to look at. But by how he sometimes caresses the soft leather of a whip while looking at you does say otherwise.

Through the window, your master enters gracefully. His silent and light on his feet despite his large size. It must be the wings. They hardly make a noise when they flap. Much like a bat, but much more pleasing to the eye. They stretch out one last time before folding up against his back. He rivals that of some trees at over seven feet. His body is broad and all muscles. He’s absolutely beautiful. His skin is fair and sparkles like opal. Only from very close can you see that theres plating to it in a scale formation. A well hidden armour that protects him but is so appealing to the eye. Perhaps it’s intended to attract people.

His face is just as enchanting. Handsome with a rounded tip pointed nose, square jaw, and flat forehead that held host to a set of grey coloured curved horns. It’s akin to ram horns by how they are ridged and spiral back away from his face. His eyes elude more to what he is before the other details hit one’s senses. People are drawn to lock eyes with people they come across. They look normal unless up close, by then one does notice the differences of what men don’t have. The red markings he bares down his cheeks like bloody tears suits him, but gives away his less human heritage. Most other beings in a humanoid form have a marking of some kind. His lips are wider with the bottom being slightly more plump than the top. They are quite nice to kiss as they are always soft and inviting. His bright white hair is to his feet, sticks out in every direction, and frames his face and horns with long fringe. It’s the perfect frame for who he is and what he is. A beast who cannot be tamed nor killed. If each centimetre of hair represented a year, it would be no exaggeration. Creatures like him live long, but few remain. None are like him.

A dragon. Jiraiya, the last white dragon. An ancient breed that are known to lead to their own demise for their possessive and aggressive nature to protect or grow their hoard. Many have fallen in fabled battles of kin versus kin over small disputes. Or taken on multiple armies in a fool’s battle for a piece of gold, or in this case porn. Jiraiya doesn’t really have these qualities. It’s probably why he’s the only known survivor. Despite being the only one, he is one to be feared. For his charms are as deadly as his fire.

“Welcome home!” You greet him happily.

Jiraiya immediately smiles at you. You are always a welcomed sight. His best and most beautiful addition to his hoard. Naked aside from some jewelry he’s found for you. Beautiful pieces of silver threads and rings that wrap around your neck and draped over your breasts. The longer chains fall in between the free space of your boobs and loop around your sides and attach to the back of the necklace. It jingles ever so softly when you walk. He’s going to upgrade it soon. You need more delicate jewelry to frame your sex and tease you with the sensation of it rubbing you as you walk. For now, you’ll have to settle for his latest find for you.

“It’s good to be home.” He replies.

“How was your day?”

“Fine. I found something for you.”

“You don’t have to get me anything, you know that don’t you?” You often disapprove of him getting you stuff. He’s done enough for you. But he likes to shower you with nice things if he gets the opportunity.

“Oh I’m aware.” Jiraiya says with a grin.

He pulls out a delicate looking piece of jewelry from his robe. It’s a circlet. Silver and smithed in a feminine pattern. It curves and intertwined with the other thin twines of silver. It was like lace. With a single gem at the centre meant to sit perfectly in the middle of your forehead. The gem itself is a rare one that looks like the twilight sky was captured within it. It was too pretty not to take. Seeing it made him think of you. The elves he took it from won’t miss one little circlet. So what if it was for a bride to be, they’ll make a new one. Their fair and delicate hands are perfect for crafting such simple but beautiful things.

“But my most precious piece to my collection needs to have these things.”

He crowns you with it before you could complain any further. His fingers are gentle. They caress your cheeks. You angle your head as Jiraiya lifts it. He’s staring at you. It’s that hungry look again. It has you as enchanted and hot the first time he did that. His eyes have the advantage of the flicker of the candles around the room, but they do glow. A sliver iridescent glow like of his hair and scales. His lips slightly parted and relaxed to invite you in. It’s like he was made to attract you. You rise on your knees until you are kneeling for prayer. Your hands can’t resist touching his warm skin. The loose fine clothing he wears makes it so simple to move under it and touch his perfect skin.

It’s that look that enchanted you the first time you saw him. This beastly creature on your balcony in the middle of the night. His skin glittering in like geodes in the moonlight. His dark eyes capturing not just your own eyes but your whole being. He wasn’t shy to show what he was. Expanding his wings out and fine silver threads adorned his horns in well placed spirals which drew the eye in. His smile had you under a trance. He offered you his hand and asked you one thing.

“Run away with me, princess?”

How could you refuse? All the warnings your father gave you. Everything you were taught. The very reason you were locked in a tower away from your castle town. Dragons desire princesses. They are the fairest of their lands. They are as precious and rare as gemstones. The way he compared you to such rare things... The attention and desire he felt for you. His hands held your hip and hand. His lips pressed against your knuckles as he gently cradled your hand. He made you feel special. A better future would be with him rather than alone in your tower all your life until your beauty is tainted by age and usefulness taken before you could realize what it was.

You move in, opening his shirt and tearing off a few of the buttons in the process. It’s hard not to touch him. Worship him. Jiraiya Let’s out a soft groan when you place heated wet kisses on his abdomen. His hands move to run through your hair. You aren’t afraid to touch anymore. The first few nights, you were scared to even hold his shoulders for too long. Now you grab him and yank him forward when eager. Those lovely soft fingers of yours drag down the crotch of his pants followed by your lips grazing the sensitive spot on his waist.

You don’t need to be told. You undo his pants and pull them down. His hips buck ever so slightly in expectation and eagerness. You play with him with your hands, stroking him to fully erect before your wonderful lips move in to do their magic.

Jiraiya calls your name softly. Exhaling it between his lips as his head lulls back in pleasure. He had to grab the top bar of the bed frame for support. He gripped your head harder, but resisted the urge to push. You are still new to this. You can only go about half way before gagging. Never would he ever force you to do more. That’s not what is good for his beloved princess. With his guidance, you could get him off pretty damn good despite not being able to take the whole thing. Your hand twisted and stroked the rest to the base in pace to your bobbing mouth. You sucked and used your tongue to drag along the underside. You’ve even grown accustomed to fondle his balls. Your gentle approach is certainly appreciated there.

“You undo me so well.” He said in a voice only above a whisper. “You’re getting good at sucking me off.”

“Mm~!” You moan a positive note of agreement. You don’t stop to say verbally. It’s too much fun.

You stick to your pace for a countless amount of blissful minutes. His hips do jerk. He bites his lip. You freeze up for a moment in surprise. It was too late to pull back. The taste of his fluids fill your mouth. You take it as he holds you in place. You got no choice but to swallow it.

“Very good, princess.” Jiraiya praises you. His thumb runs over your bottom lip. “Was it tasty?”

“Like milk candy, my lord.”

He chuckles at your answer. He leans down and pecks your lips. Using the leverage of his size and weight, he pushes you down to your back and gets on top. You clasp your hands onto his shoulders as he devoured your lips. His tongue eager to be in your mouth. His teeth careful to bite but not break the skin of your bottom lip. His finger strokes over your sex. He slowly teases you like that while keeping your lips occupied.

There’s certain things a dragon likes that one can’t do to a human. You gently stroke up his lovely face to grab his horns. A low growl comes from his throat. Stroking the base makes him purr like a cat. Tugging on them gets him riled. You can angle his head ever so slightly, but he’s not keen to let you have control. Playing with them during sex can get him bothered enough to have his wings flap and bash into the bed frame. The sheets tear with his nails digging into the fragile fabric. His fingers push and rub inside of you while you tease his horns.

The kisses lose their form and get messy. His body is rocking with a need. You are succeeding in getting him riled. His fingers are banging back and forth inside of you hard. It hurts so good. He pushes them in all the way and curls them up. It sends jolts of pleasure in waves. It pushes you over the edge. The kiss broke as you throw your head back to cry out in pleasure.

Jiraiya growls your name as you cum. It came out more aggressive then he meant. He’s only under the facade of a human after all. The form he takes is only a ruse to what he really is. It excites him so much when you climax that sometimes it feels like he’ll lose his grip on whatever spell keeps him in this form. His flesh only hints at the monster that lay restless underneath it. His extra features are more like decorations, but it is a reminder that he is capable of much destruction. It’s a wonder what’ll push him to behave like his long lost kin. He’s so level headed it’s hard to believe that he’s a beast associated with rage and ruin.

“Can I tie you up, my princess?” He asks. His voice is now husky with arousal.

“Oh yes! I would love nothing more!” You agree eagerly.

He kisses you, groaning a grateful note in your compliance. He sat up on his knees to grab the cuffs. You raise your hands above your head, expecting to be tied up as you always are to the headboard. But he grins at you. A mischievous grin.

“Get on your knees, princess.”

Oh? This is different. Jiraiya isn’t afraid to stray from the format. He’s always doing different things to you. Being on your knees while tied up hasn’t been a position you tried yet. He had always had you spread eagle on your back. You do as he says, meeting him in the middle of the bed and able to touch and kiss him. He was happy to accept the kisses, shoving his tongue in your mouth in eager to play with yours as you pressed against him.

He grabbed your hips and pulled you away. He backed off of the bed. He stood at the edge of the bed again. With his free hand he beckons you with a curl of his finger. You fall forward and crawl on all fours towards him. He’s smiling still, pleased by your behaviour. He likes it when you hither or crawl. Again you meet him by rising up and placing your hands on his chest. His hand lightly strokes over your belly up your torso.

“Turn around.”

You obey. Just what is in store for you? Jiraiya’s warm lips press against your neck. He makes out with it. Your pulse is just under his mouth. It would take nothing for him to bite down and kill you. Thoughts like that arise sometimes. He’s a danger. He chooses not to be violent. Never to you. He chooses to pleasure you, which he does so well. His hand gently strokes over your tummy and breasts. Then slowly over your collarbone to down your arm. He grips your wrist. Your arm turns into a noodle as it limply agreed to follow his guidance.

The cold metal of the cuff drags across your pelvis. His body presses against your back as he nips at your neck. He did the cuff up over the wrist he was massaging and holding. All while grinding against your ass. He raised your hand up by the hook on the cuff and hooked it onto the bar above you. He did the same thing to your other hand.

“Spread your legs out.” His voice is quiet but crystal clear against your ear.

To encourage you, his left hand reached in between your legs. His right grabs the back of your thigh right under your ass. At the same time he rubs you off while pulling on your leg. You go as far as he leads you, until you’re kneeling low with sex just hovering above the sheets.

He stops the pleasant rubbing over your clit and retracted his hand slowly. A whine found it’s way out of your throat. That was so good! You move your hips from side to side, resisting the urge to close your legs. Some kind of pressure would be welcome right now. He’s turned you on and left you hanging.

“I should tie your legs up too, shouldn’t I?” Jiraiya asks. It was rhetorical and finished with a hard slap to your ass that made you jump. The sting to your skin lingering as he gripped the meat of your rump hard. “I know how you like to tense up and close ‘em when you’re ready to cum.”

“Y-Yes, my lord.” Your voice quivers with both excitement and anticipation.

“Very good. I can’t have them shut just as we get to the good part.”

“No, my lord.”

A pleased chuckle comes from your master. He grabs another pair of cuffs and loosens them until they can fit around your thighs. They’re leather and soft. Much more pleasant against the skin. He yanks on it to lock the strap in place. It doesn’t budge and with the length of chain attached to the cuff he hooks it to the bar beside you. He does the same to the other leg. You’re now Immobilized. Completely at his mercy.

“What shall I do to you tonight, princess?” Jiraiya whispers by your ear again. His hand moves under your ass to rub against your sex. “You’re at the mercy of a mad dragon.”

You gasp as he spanks you again, hitting the most sensitive part of your body. He’s good at being a sadist. That’s the word he used. Along with dominant or master. He likes to hit you for a thrill, but he always does so with your consent. He’s never used the harder tools on you before. It’s always been his hands. He’s never been truly rough. Your skin has never been marked more than a light bruise.

A life of luxury and comfort has certainly made you curious to pain. Tripping in the garden hardly compares to willingly allowing yourself to embrace the pain of pleasure.

“Hit me.” You whisper.

To your surprise he laughs. His chin rests on your shoulder. His hand continued to tease you between your legs.

“My my! How I have corrupted you! How do you want to be hit, my lady?” He was throughly amused.

It is a little embarrassing. Jiraiya loves to tease you. He’s laughed at how innocent you once were. Being the crown achievement to his collection and his willing partner has changed you. It’s hard to believe you were once a princess locked away in a tower only a few months ago. So ignorant to what sex could be. Well... not anymore. You’re still learning. It’s a good thing you got a good teacher.

“W-With the whip.” Your voice quivers a little.

He growls. He squeezes your ass before stepping away. His heavy steps round your left side where he comes into view. You watch as he grabs the deceptively soft looking whip. It’s handle is short, just big enough for him to wrap his fingers around and grip hard in his palm. The whip itself looks not so intimidating. A series of black leather straps about the length from your wrist to your elbow.

He caresses the not so threatening looking tassels. As he does his sharp eyes look you over. A smirk grows on his lips. He effortlessly twirls the handle in his hand. The tassels spin around like ribbons. Once he catches it, he whips it. Flicking his wrist swift and sharp. So fast you barely catch it. But you feel it. The air beside your wrist being snapped and disturbed by the force of the tassels. The sound echoed in the room.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this? Your skin is so....” Jiraiya tilts his head ever so slightly. “Soft.”

“Do you not want to?”

“Oh I want to.” He’s said before his tongue licks over his top teeth. It’s reminiscent of a hungry dog eyeing up a juicy steak. “But you aren’t used to being struck by weapons.”

“I trust you.”

The smirk on his face softens to a smile. It’s wistful and appreciative. Perhaps no one has told him that before. He looks touched that you said that. With graceful strides he returns to standing behind you. Your body braces as he whips it close to you again, but not touching.

Instead of the hard crack of the leather hitting your skin, the tassels tickle. They drag up and down your back along your spine. Even over your shoulders like the soft caress of his long hair just barely touching your skin. It forces a shudder to run through you. It’s not unpleasant. Your nerves are so alert they are sensitive to the gentle touch.

“What do you say if you want me to stop?” Jiraiya asks. His tone more serious now.

You swallow the lump that had formed in your throat. The anticipation is killing you. You shift as best you can. Rotating your wrists and pulling on the restraints. Your hips moving forward then back as you test how far you can jolt forward. Not very far. There’s no escape. Except for one. The word he always obeys and follows when you have enough.

“Ruby.” You state with confidence.

“Very good, princess.”

The soft tassels retreat. It’s time to feel their sting. There’s a moment of tense silence. Even if you can’t see him, you know Jiraiya is calculating where to hit first. Those eyes of his scanning over your body. He’s usually very cautious. Most of the time. Sometimes he gets too excited. That more inhuman side of his can take over when he is riled up. You’ve seen his eyes flash a different colour and his chest glow with a fire like warmth when he’s too into fucking you wild. But he has a refinement to him where he always regains his composure. He’s motivated by the worry of accidentally hurting you. For a dragon, he’s rather sweet. Not at all like how the stories say dragons are.

A pain like bee stings steals your breath away. From your right shoulder to your spine. Beyond your control your body flinches. It hurts, yet you crave to feel more. There’s a few seconds of silence. Just the excited heavy breathing from behind you. Just as you relax, another strike to your skin.

“Ah!” A cry falls from your lips before you can stop yourself.

“Does it hurt?”

“Yes!”

A breathy laugh was his response. That happy excited laugh of a pleased pervert. He’s getting really excited. He may not survive more than a few strikes before giving in to reward you. Which is probably the best part. Getting hit and experiencing nothing but thrilling pain, then the reward of having amazing reward pleasure is enough to drive you mad.

The next series of strikes are the similar. Of the same pressure and pace. Hard enough to perhaps welt your skin but not break it. With each steady strike your body you lurch forward. With every fifth or so strike he goes harder to really make you yelp.

Within moments your back is red and pounding with it’s own pulse. It feels as if every nerve was struck and on high alert. It didn’t feel bad. It only gets you more excited for more. Your body is hot. You can feel how excited you are even if you can’t deal with it yourself. The reward is going to be so damn good.

A whine comes from your throat this time. Jiraiya has moved on to strike your ass and legs. It feels different. Harder. More like wasps than bees. It hurts more. Perhaps with less surface area the whip is more concentrated. Your body is more inclined to writhe beyond your command from it.

“Do you like it? Or am I doing too much?” Jiraiya asks. He’s paused for the time being.

“I like it!” You affirm. It’s hard to speak anymore than that. Most times you’ve been holding your breath in anticipation of the hits. “Keep on going please!”

He swallows so heavily you can hear it. The whip meets your backside again. You cry out as a result. You pull on your restraints out of habit and want to move. Your instincts say to flee but your lust is desiring so much more.

Then they get faster. Instead of strike and pause. It’s now strikes with only a second in between for your beloved wielder to wind back in order to hit you with the same force. It only makes you rock more. Your body thrusting forward from the force of the swift hits like you are in an unsteady ship in a storm. Tears form in your eyes from the pain, but all you want is more.

As they say, all good things find their end. The next wave of pain was too much. It was almost a perfect recreation of the first strike, hitting your most sore and sensitive skin. Ow. Like really ow. The yell in your throat was choked and startled. Your voice now feeling the wear of crying out so much.

Jiraiya hesitates. He must have noticed it too. Or maybe that last strike did more physical damage than first thought. A moment later his hand gently touches your skin. For once his palm feels cold in comparison to you. Your wounds are giving off waves of heat from the damage. He strokes his hand up and down. It both tingles and burns.

He takes a few more steps until his front is just barely grazing against your back. Those fingers of his which can be so deadly but also so gentle. They are soothing as they rub your back. Nice and slow against your burning skin. Up your spine to your neck. Then around to caress your throat.

“I went too hard.” Jiraiya said. Remorse is in his voice. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m okay.” You assure him. You lean back best you can to be flush against his body. It’s warm and soft. When your ass met his pelvis you press against his erection. He’s rock hard. He probably couldn’t take much more anyways. Grinding against it caused him to groan.

“I still took it too far. This is why I was hesitant to use tools like this.” He sighed with his final word. His head invaded the space between your cheek and arm just to nuzzle his cheek against yours. “Princesses have such delicate bodies. You are no exception.”

He sighs and moves in to place kisses along your shoulder. It was cool and wet. It feels quite nice. A comforting gesture. There’s a soft clatter as he drops the whip in favour of touching you. His hands moving up your sides before going up your arms. With lack of blood flow the sensation is tingly. He grabs the latch the cuffs closed and undos them.

With little strength left, you collapse as far as you can. Folding over at the waist and bowing on the bed. It’s both a blessing and a hinderance. Your body can relax more but it’s not as easy to breath in this position. With your legs still hoisted in their kneel it creates quite the dramatic angle for your body to slouch in. Even so, the next part that is to come fills you with so much anticipation you do not care for the strain.

“You did very good.” Jiraiya praises you. His hands grip your ass and squeeze. It’s delightful as he holds it hard. “However, you should have told me to stop once it got too much.”

“I’m sorry, my lord.” You whisper.

“That’s okay, my princess. I think you’ve had enough punishment to make up for your mistake. It’s time to reward you.”

Your tingly numb fingers grip the sheets. You arch your back a little. The head of his cock poked around at your entrance, teasing it. Moving around from one end to the other slowly before pushing in. When you cry out this time, it’s softer. A quieter cry of delight as you finally get what you’ve craved since he restrained you. It slides in with ease and your body loves it. Strange to think that not that long ago you couldn’t take his length. He’s more than a little proportional to his size to say the least.

All you can do is stay in this position and take it. It’s slow with barely enough force to rock you forward. It’s nice. A gentle fuck to reward you for all your cooperation. He’s groaning your name softly with each thrust. His hands are rubbing along your ass and thighs. Your eyes shut and you get lost in the feeling. The amazing bliss after all the pain. Wonderful. Pleasing to every sense.

The clasps and straps on your legs are pulled loose. You would have collapsed had it not been for your foreseeing partner. Jiraiya kept you in place for a moment pausing his hips so he could maneuver you into a more comfortable position. You whimper ever so softly when your sensitive back hit the sheets. But the pressure of your weight off your knees brought a new welcomed relief. You lay on your back with legs over the edge and arms hanging limply above you as he returns to pleasuring you.

He places his knee on the bed and hooks and arm around your lower back. It’s slow as to not do you more harm. Soon he is over top of you drowning you in kisses that are matching the pace to his hips. You move your shaky hands to wrap around the back of his neck and shoulders. From there you can be closer. Holding on and falling into the beautiful rhythm he set. Stroking his hair is a gesture he loves but never says he does. Scratching right at his scalp whilst playing with his hair is a treat for him. One he always gets during this time. He deserves a reward too. For being such a wonderful partner.

Something rises in you. A feeling now familiar. You go tense and breath hitches.

“I’m close.” You whisper.

“Me too.” His tone was just as hushed and breathless.

He only speeds up a little. Eager but patient at the same time. You lose your grip and get lost in it. Crying out over and over with a need as each thrust gets you closer. A low throaty grunt of both effort and pleasure fills your ear as your cries only push Jiraiya close to the edge as well.

You go first. Body tensing and legs flexing to brace against his thighs as you have the need to coil like a tightly wound spring. Jiraiya sinks down until his weight is over you. His nails burrowing into your hips as he holds you still. His face pressed against your chest. His mouth hung open in a silent breath as he’s caught between holding his breath but needing to gasp. His hips are moving ever so slightly, grinding at a fidgety pace as he milks every second of it.

The fall that comes after was dazing. The heavy weight of your dragon lays over top of you. He’s panting heavily against your neck. The hard material of his horn is smooshing against your cheek. Not that you mind. You stroke his hair and even down to play with the connection of his wing to his back. It’s a strange feeling muscle. Jutting out where his shoulder blades are. The faint scales on his body that go from flesh colour to the pearly white of his wings was like bricks of two different colours connecting. They are nice to stroke. He likes it too. Much like the toads that hang around the castle. Dry, but silky skin. He groans when you massage the space in between the wings where they connect in his back. Must be sensitive. As you touch him you wonder something.

“Will you ever show me what you really look like?” You ask.

“Oh?” Jiraiya lifts his head up to meet your eyes. “How are you so sure that I’m not just this?”

“I have hunch there’s more to you.” You say. You move your hand up into his hair again. You scratch at his head to which his eyes relax and almost shut. “All those tales of dragons the size of mountains that ruin cities in seconds can’t all be works of fiction.”

“Hm...” He hums and angled his head a little so your hand was scratching against a different part of his scalp. “You’re more perceptive than you look, princess. To be honest, my true form would frighten you. This face does better to attract the ladies more than my... real face. I only take this form so I can interact with my hoard and live in this castle.”

He plants his hands down on the bed and lifts himself up. He crawls up that little bit to give you a kiss. It was short little kiss. A quick peck to your lips that leaves you craving more. He lingers close after. His dark pretty eyes focused on you. When they’re so close, it’s so easy to get lost in them. It’s only when he’s a few inches away can you see how truly not human they are. It’s the guise of a human. A facade that looked beautiful from afar but telling of his real nature up close. The elongated rounded ended pupils that just barely stood out from the night like backdrop of his irises. Flecks of silver and gold so small but shimmering like stars against the black of his eye colour. He’s really a wonder.

“So I can interact and live with you,” Jiraiya pauses to peck your lips. “My most prized belonging in my collection.”

The back of his hand gently strokes your cheek when he said that. Most may be put off by being called a belonging. He doesn’t truly feel like you belong to him. The front door is always open for you to leave. He’s never forced you to do anything. He calls you that because for once you belong to something. You are doing something different and free of the lonely fate you were once destined to. You simply just belong with him.

The way he looks at you assures you that he does feel the same. It’s more like love than the haze of dragon sickness. He did mention once that you are the first princess to accept his offer to be his valued partner. He revealed that all he offered this arrangement to were so offended he was slapped off more balconies than he’s jumped from. He must truly appreciate you, even if he’s never directly said it.

“I haven’t shown you the basement, have I?” He suddenly brought up. His expression lifting with excitement at whatever idea he had in mind.

“No...?” Your voice falls into a high note of confusion.

“Great! It’s just what you’ll need to heal up your wounds!”

A part of you is hesitant. If this is the bedroom then it’s a wonder what the hell he keeps in his basement. Especially one that is as old and worn as this one. Jiraiya scoops you up before you can complain. He fixes you into a bridal carry before running off.

The proper way to exit the room was through the door rather than the window. Just outside was a small hallway that lead to a curving stairway. It’s not much different from the rest of the castle. Grey stone with paintings and other forms of art depicting sex on the walls. There’s not much upkeep so the stairs can be a little rickety.

Jiraiya jumps off of the first step. You yelp and cling onto his neck. The way was just wide enough for him to expand his wings and glide. The air catches his wings and the drag slows him down. He chuckles as you hold on. The thrill will never wear off. Faster than any horse ride you ever been on. With a beat of his wings it softens the landing before his feet hit the bottom floor and gently drag on the stone.

“I got you, princess!” He said with a laugh. He turns and leaps across the grand room that lead to the other stairwell. He’s leaping and gliding along with excitement, hopping around like a sugar high child. “I won’t let ya go!”

You squeal as he jumps off the stair again to glide down them like a graceful eagle. This staircase went deeper. The windows that broke up the stone wall to let in moonlight died off into the warm glow of torches. They switched on as if by magic a few feet before reaching them. It must be something Jiraiya casted on them to light up only when they detect movement. He angles his wings ever so slightly to tilt towards one wall. He kicks off the wall like he was running on it for a few steps. The tip of his wings are just barely not touching the stone surfaces.

“Careful, Jiraiya!” You cry as he wavers slightly.

“You worry too mu-!”

He cut himself off by accidentally clipping his wing on a stair. It jutted out more than the rest from inconsistent carving. It broke the steady glide he had and he went tumbling. He curled around you to protect you. Even his wings curled like a cocoon, but he didn’t have the time to recover. A few places got bumped. An elbow. A foot. He regained composure enough to grab the wall and slow momentum. The last three steps he butt scoots down as he couldn’t recover quickly enough to stick a graceful landing.

There’s a moment of silence. He looks at you. You look at him. A smile began to grow on your lips. You start giggling. He’s never been so not graceful. He starts chuckling too.

“Sorry. I uh... wanted to show off.” He was embarrassed. A small flush on his cheeks as he bashfully apologized.

It’s not like he needed too. He’s stolen your heart since he liberated you from your tower. Soaring away with you with grace and poise. The mystery and intriguing way about him had you mesmerized from the start. He’s still rather mysterious, but his lordly grace was certainly more of an act. He was happier being casual and fun, melting your worries away with his cheery smile and mirthful laugh.

“You have no need to impress me.” You speak your mind.

Jiraiya offers you a smile, one of gratefulness and still a little bashful. He takes a moment to look you over.

“You aren’t hurt, are you?”

“What’s a few more bumps? They’re worth being with you.”

It seems you discovered the secret of what makes a dragon blush. He got the cutest smile when embarrassed. Your partnership with him must mean a lot. He quickly got to his feet. He kept carrying you. Ahead was darkness. He ducked his head down to make it through the small dip in the roof. Going past that threshold had a shift to the air. It’s warmer. Echoing. Damp. Humid like how the air feels before rain. A few steps in, a flash of light surprises your senses.

Torches are mounted into the stone walls. The walls themselves are more natural and wild. In the middle of the room was a pool. A large pool of blue water. It’s giving off steam and heat.

“A hot spring.” You state aloud.

“Pretty cool, eh? This is why I love this place.”

“Aside from it being atop a mountain and away from any major town?”

“With a hot spring it really does round up to be the best location ever!” Jiraiya laughs. He set you down. He gestured dramatically around. “No humans. No neighbours. Nothing but nature and my favourite things to keep me company!”

His voice echoes in the cave and bounces his booming laugh around it’s cavern walls. He struts forward to the pool. Once at the edge he looks back at you. He peels off the little clothing he has on. His ripped shirt and loose pants falling off of him with only a few tugs. He’s beautiful in the nude. With a body sculpted by the goddesses themselves for women to enjoy. Truly a different being as his scales gently glitter under the flicker of the fire. He holds out his hand for you to take.

“Come, princess. Let’s heal your aches and pains with a good long soak.”

That does sound nice. You take Jiraiya’s hand and he placed a kiss on your knuckles before leading you into the water. It stings a little from the dramatic change in heat on your skin. The prickles are soon to fade into pleasure. The hot water already seeping into your giggly feeling legs. The spring is deeper than it looks. By the time you have waded into the middle with his help, it’s just under your breasts.

“The far side has the softest earth and stone to sit on.” He explains as he kept wading through.

He finds the spot along the edge and sits you down first. It’s more shallow again and you are dunked to your neck while sitting on your butt. He plops down beside you and sinks down. Being so tall can be a curse at times as he has to put in more effort to be emerged into the cozy warm water. He goes down until his chin hits the water and he lets out a happy sigh.

“The perfect way to end the day.” He said.

“Yes. This is lovely.” You agree with him.

You shift closer, scooting until you touch his side. Jiraiya didn’t really stir. He had his eyes closed and he was grinning with a peaceful type of happiness. The tips of his bangs are floating in the water, making him look like he’s got some whiskers. The rest of his wild mane of hair was flicked out of the water to sit on the ground edge behind him to stay dry. It spread out wide like a fan, as if a trail of white magnolias had suddenly bloomed in the cave.

For a creature capable of burning down cities and tearing down armies with a single swipe, he’s unfairly adorable. You rest your head on his shoulder. Jiraiya hums, it was both of approval and content. He tilts his head so it rests against yours. From under the water his hand rests on yours.

The hot water soothes your body. It relaxes you to the point of getting sleepy. The aches melt off of you. The stinging lashes are getting worked out of your back. The tension in your stomach and thighs uncoil. The bit of soreness you hadn’t even noticed on your wrists pulse before fading away. Your eyes become heavy.

Feeling content, you doze with Jiraiya in the water. It lasts for a few hours. You do fall asleep. The exhaustion of all the activity had caught up with you. The relaxing bath had done all the right things to lull you to rest.

Later, in that twilight of rest and awake, you still feel a surrounding heat. It’s not wet or steamy. It’s warm and cozy. Cracking an eye reveals that you are back in bed. The heat around you is Jiraiya. His arms around you. His body keeping you cozy along with the blanket around your body. He’s snoring softly and breathing deeply. His heartbeat is a steady drum against your ear. With a smile, you shut your eyes and return to sleep. For the next day might just be as adventurous as today was. You never really know with a dragon. Especially not your dragon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think Jiraiya has the magical capability to completely blend himself into a human form, but chooses to have these add ons cuz he dramatic. Plus it’s really hot. I know y’all loved the incubus one. This one is kinda similar in vibe so I hope that satisfies the monster/demon need you kinky weirdos have lol. 
> 
> Watch out for Saturday for a special extra kinky Halloween special! 
> 
> Apologizes if I missed any hoard for horde I tried my best in proofreading!


	54. Kinky Kitty!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After making Jiraiya a costume, you allow him to chose your costume. That may have been a bad idea. Especially since he always says you have the personality of a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! A bit of butt stuff! Role play and a little bit of denial in there too. Enjoy the kinky on this spooky night! 
> 
> So in other words....   
> Prepare yourself, the bell has tolled! Shelter your weak your young and your old! Each of you shall pay the final sum! CRY FOR MERCY THE RECKONING HAS COME!

Letting Jiraiya pick out your Halloween costume was maybe, upon reflection, was a terrible idea. He took you with him to more lingerie shops rather than costume shops. It wasn’t a one sided thing. You put together a costume for him and he only agreed to wear it if you let him pick out yours. He was taking this rather seriously. As serious as he can be staring at a selection of packaged costumes with the word ‘sexy’ scrawled across them.

You stood beside him with a frown. You watch him look over the packages. It looks like he’s a critic. His eyes sharp and thoughtful to the different costumes before him.

“Can’t you just pick one?” You chide him.

“This takes a lot of consideration.” Jiraiya answers you calmly.

“Surely any of these costumes will get your rocks off.”

He snorts in amusement. He turned away from the costumes to look at you with a raised brow. You can be a little... catty. He smirks. You look at him with a small frown.

“What?” You ask.

“I just got an idea, kitten.”

A blush grows on your cheeks. When he calls you things like that his plans can only be devious in nature. He snatched up one of the packages before you could get a good look at it. He held the package with the picture turned towards him to hide it. He grabbed a pair of fuzzy looking cat ear clips.

He didn’t let you get a good look at what he ended up buying. You were a little annoyed. He had that smile on his face that only spoke of perverted trouble. Sometimes his brain can conjure up some bad things. You follow him home with his arms tightly holding the bag. He wouldn’t let you see until back at the apartment you share with him. He placed the bag in your hand and told you he would be right back.

“Get changed and wait for me. I have to find the finishing touch!” He said with a wink.

You huff. He simply smiles before running back in the streets. You shut the door. For a moment you consider locking the door. That dummy forgot his key and it would be some suitable justice for whatever he’s plotting.

You open the bag and sigh. Of course. Would you expect different? It’s a sexy maid outfit. Complete with a frilly short skirt and an apron that is hardly suitable to catch stains. Fine. If Jiraiya wants a show then you’ll put one on. Then again, you do enjoy his plans even if they are pervy.

That old perv doesn’t deserve it, but you go the extra mile. Finding the cutest pair of underwear and bra you own and putting them on. You fix your hair to hid the clips once the cat ears are clipped in so they appear to really be sprouting from your head. He bought a pair of white fishnet thigh highs to go with the outfit. You put them on, careful to make sure the little bows on the sides were in their proper place.

He’s just gonna tear this off of you. It’s clear Jiraiya was using Halloween as an excuse to get a little kinky. Still so, he’s a particular person. He likes it when you think of the small details. From perfect bows and matching undies. He even notices when you do your makeup to match the theme of whatever set of lingerie he gave you. Soft blush and pink lips to go with sharp eyeliner is his favourite. But he isn’t opposed when you do more to sell the fantasy.

You slowly dab your lipgloss on your bottom lip. It was one of the ones Jiraiya bought you. He wasn’t exactly connoisseur, but with a list of the products you like he can handle getting you something nice. He notices. He always notices when you wear things he got you. It flatters him. It’s actually kinda adorable how he beams.

He actually has quite the nose for perfume. He’s always knocked it out of the park in getting you scents you like. He must like them too. He always takes note when you wear one. You tried out one of the more floral ones he picked. Why not try and add an air of sophistication to this perverted costume? Florals are rather ladylike.

“Hey, looking good!”

The sudden appearance of your darling partner startled you. You turn to see he’s standing in the doorway. He’s holding a paper bag, which is suspicious. There’s only a few stores that give out inconspicuous paper bags. Liquor stores and sex shops. He approaches you with that critical look in his eye. It was also admiring. He moves your hair out of the way to place a kiss on your neck, pausing a moment to take in the scent of both you and the perfume you chose. A smile on his lips that tickled your skin before he pulled back.

Jiraiya stood behind you and watched you through the reflection of the mirror. Your position is a little compromising. You are leaning forward with your butt out. The counter is just the right height to bend you over on.

“It... does seem to be missing something.” He noted.

You jump when his hands went under your skirt. His fingers grabbed at the waistband of your panties.

“You won’t be needing these.”

“Wha-!” You could barely cry out.

In a second Jiraiya had you completely bent over the counter and your underwear to your knees. His large hand gripped a cheek and pulled it back. You grip the counter as you wait. You expect him to shove his cock right in. Most your outfits seem to be missing some part of him inside of you. It wouldn’t be the first time he lost his patience and would go for it. Something cold hits your ass.

You turn to see he’s squeezing lube onto you. When your eyes lock with his, Jiraiya merely grins at you. Butt stuff isn’t something you are new to. Being his girlfriend meant accepting some more kinky stuff. He’s tied you up and spanked you more times than you can count. He’s given you vibrating underwear and turned it on in public to watch you squirm. He’s shoved plenty of toys in the other hole before. All with your consent of course. Although... the vibrating underwear situation was a surprise you didn’t enjoy all that much. He was all too gleeful to tease you when in public.

“I think you’re missing your tail, aren’t you kitty~?” Jiraiya asked almost too sweetly.

A quiet whine leaves you when he pushed his finger in. He was gentle. Going slowly as to not hurt you. It would be no fun if he ruined the fun before it began. You stayed still as he fingered you. Your quiet moans encouraged him. He got a second finger in there rather quickly. His eyes occasionally look lower, where your pussy is getting wetter despite its neglect. It smells pretty good with the floral smell of the perfume you are wearing.

“Aahh...” Your cry was soft.

Your legs are shaking as he pushed the plug in. Attached to it was a fluffy cat tail. It looks perfect paired with the ears. His pretty little cat maid was almost perfect. The bag crinkled when he reached back in.

“I think this kitty has an owner, doesn’t she?”

Something is jingling. Jiraiya holds his hands out in front of your face. Pinched in his fingers is a collar. A pink collar with a bell. He shakes it a little, making the bell ring. You push your hair out of the way. The pink collar was clipped on around your neck. The inside of the collar was soft, so it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“There you go, kitty~!” Jiraiya said with an almost sing song quality to his voice. He grabbed your hips and help you stand. “Look how pretty you are.”

It seems you didn’t need the blush. You stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. You are flush and shaking like a leaf. You are so aroused and it’s clear. You are dwarfed by his size. He’s holding you firmly. By how his fingers are massaging your hips you know he’s eager to continue whatever role play he has in mind.

“Does kitty like this?” He asked. His hands went around to your pelvis. His fingers just barely touched your clit. He’s a fair partner. If you aren’t comfortable, he’ll stop.

“Y... Yes! Kitty likes!”

His reflection grew a pleased smirk. He moves in to kiss your neck, his lips caught on the collar which made it jingle. A light nip bites your ear.

“I hear kitties only meow.” His voice was hushed and hot in your ear. “She’ll tell me when she’s ready to stop for any reason. Okay kitty?”

“Meow!”

“Good kitty.”

You impersonate a purr as you nuzzle your cheek against his. He let you go and ordered you to follow him. You only took a few steps before he stopped and looked at you.

“Kitties walk on all fours.” Jiraiya informed you. His tone was harsh. A warning that you ought to follow the rules he’s set. Who knows what he’ll do if you disobey.

“Meow.” You said with nod.

You fall to your knees and continue to follow him on all fours. It added and interesting obstacle. The plug was now being squished and rocked as you crawl. With your underwear already off, you can feel the breeze grace your sex. You meow for attention. Good god you want him to just fuck you silly.

“You are a very loud kitty.” Jiraiya commented. He turned around to face you with a grin. “What could she possibly want so badly?”

You crawl up to him and sit on your knees in front of him. You paw at his crotch and meow again. Jiraiya raises a sarcastic brow again. He ran his hand into your hair and gently pinched the cat ear. You flinched like it actually hurt you.

“I see. Kitty is too eager to get her cream.”

“Meow!”

“She’s going to have to earn it.”

“Meow?” You tilt your head in question.

“I didn’t get her a pretty maid outfit for no reason.”

You puff your cheeks out in a pout. Jerk. He struts over to the couch with just a little too much confidence. He spins on his heel and plunks down on the cushion with his legs apart almost obnoxiously wide. As if to entice you. He knows how to play this game. You don’t got much choice other than to crawl over the coffee table and kneel between his legs with your hands on his knees. You can’t resist running your fingers along his inseam until your palming his crotch again. He’s stiff, but not quite hard. Rubbing it caused him to moan and shift his hips. He’s eager. He’s simply being a jackass just to draw it out and annoy you, but he probably couldn’t resist it once it started.

“Oh kitty...” Jiraiya mutters. His eyes had fallen shut and his head tilted back in ecstasy. His hand more gently runs through your hair.

Heh... once a perv always a perv. He likes to think he’s bigger than that but he can become putty in your hands with the right moves. You rub your legs together with anticipation. The plug adjusting ever so slightly with your movements. You slowly pull his pants and underwear down just enough to pull out his cock. Stroking it a few times got it to full mast.

“Hah~!” He gasps lewdly when you start licking it.

If he wants effort you’ll give him some god damn effort. You know how he likes it. He’s a surprisingly difficult man to get off sometimes. He likes different paces and techniques. From quick with your tongue all over the underside to slow with giving the head lots of attention. Whatever path you go with usually turns him into a puddle on the couch. Well, you want him excited and needy. Perhaps teasing him with some speed and firm tonguing will convince him to drop the kinky stuff and just pound you into the table.

His fingers which have been gentle on your crown grip harder. You look up at Jiraiya to see he’s now smirking. There are times you forget he’s a dominant partner. As much as you like to push your boundaries he likes the control. He especially likes being in control of you. He grabs your hair between his fingers and guided the pace to what he wants. He may be losing the battle but he can counter to return it to his favour. The bell jingles to the beat he forces you to go at. It is in that steady area where it’s not too fast but not slow either. You gag a little when he makes you go a little deeper than you can handle.

“Sorry kitty. Is it too big for your mouth?” Jiraiya teases you with the mocking question. He pulled you back by your hair. It stung your roots enough where it felt like it was connected straight to your tear ducts. You are back far enough where your mouth is free of the appendage that was tickling your throat.

You glare at him with your teary eyes. That feisty side of you is saying to tell him off. But that’s what he wants. If just to punish you. He’s not opposed to hitting you... in a sexy way of course. Your breasts, thighs, and ass are his favourite spots to turn red when you’ve been naughty. He slapped your face once during a role play and he felt terrible for like a week. He just didn’t have the edge to be that mean. It wasn’t very enjoyable for you either, but he held you so tightly afterwards babbling apologies that you couldn’t be upset at him.

“M... meow.” You growl out between clenched teeth.

He laughs at you, amused at your stubbornness. You don’t give in easy. Which is something he does love about you. He’s stated many times how he loves his girls feisty. You’re the feistiest he’s ever gotten to go out with him. He pulls you by your hair upwards until you’re forced to move closer.

“Come on kitty. You’ve made it clear what you want.”

You follow until you’re straddling him. You reach down to stroke his cock to keep him rock hard before sitting on it. Jiraiya grabs your hips to keep you from sinking down. You groan, frustrated and needy.

“You can’t just go in on it, kitty!” He scolds you. “I’m hot. Won’t you take off my shirt?”

If looks could kill, Jiraiya would be a pile of ash. If he’s going to deny you then you get to have some fun too. He inhales sharply in surprise when you kiss him aggressively. Your tongue in his mouth as you move your hands along. Pulling on his collar and running your nails hard down his chest. He groans as you scratch him up. If he wants a kitty you’ll give him every side of a kitty. He works with you just enough so you can pull the sleeves off of his arms. His hand went down to play with you. Touching you. It was the relief you wanted. It’s a good thing you were kissing him or else you would have slipped up and moaned his name.

A flare of pain and pleasure pulls at your ass. You are pulled back by Jiraiya yanking on the tail. On instinct you clenched and it didn’t feel very nice. He pushed it back to its original position and rolled it around to tease your senses. You look at him with a frown. He’s being oddly stingy.

“You’re so wet for me, kitty.” Jiraiya notes. He rocks his hand over your sex before pushing his finger inside of you.

“Ah.... meo...” You could barely vocalize how that felt. You rock your hips to gain some pleasure from his still hand. Hopefully he’s fluent in meows as you continue to cry it with a need.

“Okay, pretty kitty. Take me for a ride.”

“Meow!” You are way too happy to agree.

It happened fast. He held the base to stay in place as you sink down. Each inch was blissful. Your body squeezing onto the insertion with eagerness. Once flush to his body, you stay still for some time. Jiraiya rubs your hips. He’s breathing heavily just from the feeling of being inside of you.

You bite your lip. Your nerves are overloaded but want more. He’s wonderfully infuriating like that. You grab his shoulders and hold on. You impersonate a purr while grazing your lips by his. To tease him you flash your tongue out to lick his lip.

“It’s all you kitty.” Jiraiya dropped his voice quietly. “Like I said, you gotta earn it.”

With a quick peck to his lips, you begin. Using your grip on his shoulders as leverage to help you ride him. Rising up and down at your own pace, which was quick and hard. From tip to base you go to your satisfaction. Mouth hanging open as you pleasure that desire you’ve craved for so long. It’s hot. It’s good.

Your arms quiver, followed by your legs. It’s so much! The anticipation had made you sensitive. Jiraiya looked focused. His eyes shut and mouth open as he breathes heavily. You move your hands up to his neck and cradle it as you slow down, your nerves unable to withstand going further.

Then those troublemaker eyes of his opened. Jiraiya smirks at you and does a copy of the small peck of the lips you gave him. He grabs your ass and pulls the skin back before squeezing.

“Not yet kitty.” He said through his heavy breathing.

You cry out not a word recognized in any dictionary. It’s simply a cry of frustration. You’re so close and he’s being too hard on you. He smooshed your ass together to squeeze the plug inside of you, which made it rub and bump. It’s like he’s trying to drive you mad. You may just lose your mind over this if he stops you again.

“Pets don’t belong on couches.” Jiraiya announced with confidence. He raised your chin with his finger and grins at you. “Let’s take this to the floor, where I really can play with you.”

You yelp when he tosses you before you could react. The cheeky bastard! A wince of pain shoots up your back when you land on your ass. Before you can recover, your oh so gentle partner has you by the hips and has you twirled around so you are on all fours.

“Ow!” You hiss under your breath. He’s ruined the stockings you got on by giving you rug burn. Your knees tingle and one of your wrists feels sore from landing on it funny. Not to mention you’re a fraction away from getting your forehead split open by the coffee table.

“Oh? Sorry kitty! Did you hurt something?” He put his arms around your middle in a hug.

“My knees.” You mumble.

“I see. Maybe I have been a little rough on my new pet.” He hums thoughtfully as he runs his hands up your thighs. He grabs the edge of your dress and flips it up. Not that he really needed to. The skirt is so short that it barely kept you covered anyways. There’s a small smack when he clasps his hand on your cheek. He very softly runs his palm in a circle, as he normally does when he’s preparing to spank you. “But that’s no excuse for her to talk. If she’s still into it, she’ll start meowing her little tail off until she’s satisfied.”

It was a weird way to apologize, but you understand his meaning. Sorry for tossing you like a spider was in my lap, can I still fuck you silly? Acting a little offended wasn’t totally out of character. Cats are known to be proud. You give in and offer him a meow, but only to push backwards and grind against him. He can have his way so long as he finally finishes what he’s started.

“Good kitty! I’m happy she still wants to play!” He’s all too thrilled at your actions. He grabs your hips again and pushes you forward until you don’t got a choice and climb part of the table in front of you. “It’s time I reward her for being such a good little kitten!”

Reward? Jiraiya doesn’t throw that word around lightly. That usually means he’s going to drop the act for the most part and just get down to the best part, the fucking. But even that can be drawn out and messy as he’ll purposely do things to drive you to shrieking for more. You sit with your top half supported by the table but the rest of you still on the floor. Your knees pressed against the rug and ass out for whatever he’s got planned.

You can’t help but gasp in surprise and in pleasure when he simply pushes his erection back inside of you. That weird strange sensation of being empty was filled again as he went all the way in and stayed there for a few moments. Then he pulls out to just the head before going back in. This is a reward. Nice and gentle after being treated so roughly. Your eyes fall closed as you focus on the feeling. Panting and gasping in time to his slow thrusts. It’s what your body wants. More than the fast paced rough finish you thought you were in for.

Then he grabbed the back of your neck. A second later your cheek is being squished by the tabletop. You are pinned to be bent over in the most compromising positions there are in the world. Of course there was a catch! He simply waited for your guard to lower. The most you can do in this current position is attempt to kick him. Knocking your legs and feet back to show him you are none too impressed with his actions. In response he grabbed the tail and hoisted it up. It tugs in the strangest of ways as it teases all the nerves in that area.

“Bad kitty. If she keeps kicking me, I might have to resort to worse punishments than pulling her tail.”

You growl and grip the table. He can be so annoying sometimes. You return to the widened stance you had earlier and remain stationary. He’s still teasing the plug and keeping you pinned. He’s lucky you like him so much. At a gradual pace his thrusting speeds up. It gets to a point where the table scoots forward a little from the force. He slows just a little so that doesn’t happen, but he’s still fucking you quick enough to bring tears to the eyes. You can’t restrain yourself to save face any longer. Crying out with each thrust in as he seems to be hitting the right spots inside of you each time.

He’s getting worked up too. Grunting with each movement as he loses the composure he’s had during this whole thing. You may not be able to look at him more than the blurry shape of your peripheral, but he’s thrown his head back and stuttered for a breath. He’s getting close. The pace breaks up for a moment as he pushes back all the way in and pauses to grind the feeling for a few blissful seconds.

“I think my new kitty has earned her cream! It’s just a matter of how she wants to take it.” Jiraiya managed a chuckle despite being out of breath.

He releases his grip on your neck. That’s a surprise. He’s usually domineering to the very end. Perhaps this is the real reward. You sit up and turn to look over your shoulder. He’s flushed and panting. His whole chest moving deeply with his quick breaths. Even as you slip out he’s holding his cock and resisting the urge to finish himself off. He’s on the edge about to fall, yet he wants you to choose how it ends.

With a weak smile you tackle him so his back hits the foot of the couch. You mount him and finish this exactly how to want. This time he’s the one to yelp as he fell back and was pinned by you. You hold his lips against yours. You don’t even move that much. Rocking your hips back and forth, barely more than a few inches of him sliding in and out of you. But after ages of teasing and denial it was all you needed. It’s all he needed. The sharp inhale and hold. In synch with one another. The kiss breaks for both you and him to stammer a gasp. The ability to breathe out was flighting as the build up only tenses up the lungs further. Your nails dig into his shoulders. His fingers bruise your thighs as he locks on an iron grip.

That wave of pleasure you longed for finally came. It almost was overwhelming after being denied it for so long. You place a hand on Jiraiya’s abdomen as he jerks ever so slightly forward before cumming. His muscles are wound so tightly it’s a surprise he doesn’t strain something. They all relax after finishing.

You lay collapsed against his chest trying to catch your breath. He’s in a similar situation. His head laid back on the cushion of the couch as he breathes deeply. After several moments, he groans your name like a complaint.

“Damn it!... I had this whole thing planned out where I was going to make you do things for me and reward you with little things here and there.” Jiraiya began to rant his complaints to you. He lifts his head to look at you. He’s still flustered, only he’s pouting now. “But then you had to crawl to me looking all sexy and I couldn’t resist it! I had to improvise that whole thing!”

“Are you saying you didn’t have fun?” You ask in a dull tone, looking at him with a frown of disapproval.

“No! I had lots of fun! Anything with you is fun, I just wanted to really play the game you know?”

You roll your eyes and give him a kiss. He’s happy to kiss you back and hold you. You relax your hands and slide your arms all the way back to hold him closer.

“We’ll have plenty of time to practice before the party tomorrow.” You say.

“Really?” He hums and smirks at you. “If that’s the case then I’m not sure you want to attend a party in that costume.”

“We can wash it.”

He chuckles at your reply. With gentle hands he strokes your spine as he makes out with you. His hands which are capable of doing so much hurt are healing as he scratches at your scalp where he tugged your hair and massages circles into your butt. He’s careful when pulling out the plug, knowing it doesn’t feel good once the high of sex leaves your body.

You cling onto Jiraiya as he sits up and slowly gets to his feet. He trudges on to the bathroom where a nice warm shower is in order for both of you. One gets rather sweaty after such a strenuous activity. Your makeup is running a little. It’s time to get clean and hit the hay.

The next night you have on your sexy costume again, freshly washed. This time you simply have on a clip on tail attached to the back of your apron. Your makeup done and perfume on to his liking. Jiraiya is sitting patiently as you finish up drawing a little black triangle on the tip of his nose. A little revenge for the marathon of kinky stuff he just put you through.

Your original idea was simply a butler costume for him as a bit of an inside joke between the friend group. But he looks even more adorable with white cat ears and a tail to go along with his costume. Plus it goes with yours. Doing a couple thing was certainly last minute, but not unpleasant. It shows he’s got some foresight as he picked your costume from a rack while keeping in mind what you made for him. He is a thoughtful man, even if he is a kinky perv.

“There you go, mister cat! You’re all ready to serve the masses tea!” You announce proudly as you back away from him, eye liner still in hand.

He looks at himself in the mirror before sighing. Yeah... he’ll deal. It’s not so bad having whiskers and a tail. Plus everyone will get a good laugh out of him. At least everyone at this party will be looking ridiculous in their costumes. He grabs you by the waist and pulls you closer.

“I only serve tea if I have my lovely maid to help me keep the riff raff in order.”

“I promise I won’t leave you alone.” You say with bit of an eye roll.

“Good kitty. We get in, mingle, get tipsy, find a closet and have fun, okay?”

“Small talk and closet sex is your idea of a fun party experience?”

He backs away towards the door with his arms out in a shrug. He’s grinning at you, which is made all the cuter with his face paint.

“Well you can’t have sex in someone else’s bed, that’s just rude!” Jiraiya said as he continued to back out. You follow him with a shake of your head.

“But ruining their coats is just fine?”

“It’s not like they use all of them!”

You tut your tongue and put on your jacket. You fix his ears as he gets his outdoor stuff on, having had knocked the clip off kilter when he put his coat on. You then fix his bow tie too, which got you raised brow. He wasn’t used to being preened.

“Can we at least steal the candy bowl before going into the closet?” You ask.

“Ah, you are thinking more like me everyday.” He leans forward and gives you a kiss. “I think getting more sticky is on theme isn’t it?”

“Uck,” you scoff and point towards the door. “Let’s go, or I’m calling you every cutesy name for a cat there is all night.”

“Okay okay.”

You push him out the door, to which he resists and leans back just to bug you as he usually does. His weight and size are hard to fight against when he slumps. He laughs when you struggle.

“Get going, Snowflake or else I’m going without you!”

“I’m at least a Snowball, aren’t I?”

With a short tempered grunt you side step. He shouts and grabs the door and frame before he fell over. He pushes himself up to standing and hops down the small step to the outside. Where he is shrouded by the night.

“Come on, kitty! We got a party to go to!” Jiraiya almost singsongs with joy as he holds his hand out for you to take.

You take his hand and step out, shutting the door behind you. You loop your arm around Jiraiya’s as he leads the way to the house party. Children in costumes are running around and laughing, shouting for their treats at the doors of friendly strangers. One ran right into Jiraiya. He chuckled before scooping the kid off the ground and setting them down on their feet. He’s good with children. He compliments the little guy’s costume before pushing them along to reunite with their friends.

“Bye bye, kitties!” The rather adorable little sheet ghost wished you and your date as he trotted along back to his group.

It does warm your heart a little. Your friendly giant of a boyfriend who was normally so crass was incredibly soft to children. You pull him to his feet and drag him along.

“They’re cute when they’re not yours to look after.” Jiraiya remarks. He puts his arm around you and continues to walk.

“That they are.” You agree as you fall in step with him.

Stopping in front of your friend’s house revealed it was already lively with people. The music muffled but blaring enough to understand the words. The adults inside casting shadows over the blinds as the jam to the monster mash. You go to ring the doorbell, which had one of those cheap Halloween add ons that looked like a headstone and laughed menacingly once it was rung. Jiraiya pulled you back before you could.

“What now?” You ask impatiently.

“Just one thing before we go in.” He said. He held you against him and placed a loving kiss on your lips. Good enough melt your impatience. It broke far too quickly. You stare up at him with a blush to your cheeks and curiosity in your gaze. “Happy Halloween, baby! Love ya!”

“Happy Halloween.” You return the sentiments in a whisper. “I love you too.”

Jiraiya beams a wide grin at you before returning to stand by side. You ring the bell and surprisingly someone heard the first time. The door opens and your drunk host is all too happy to invite you and Jiraiya in. You hold his hand as you stride in, ready for a long drunk possibly sexual night with your favourite pervert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Hallows End y’all! I hope you enjoy this little something extra. Next week’s post may be late. But I’m hype for best boy’s birthday month! I plan for it to be a mix of fluff and angst. Maybe one more than the other :)


	55. Love Heals the Scar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over a year ago you gained a scar on your body. One you aren’t so proud of and have little in the way of remembering how you got it. But when you listen to Kakashi speak of the Nine Tails taking Naruto’s body during the last mission, it prompts Jiraiya to finally speak on the matter... and you wonder... if he finds you less attractive because of the changes the scar had made to your body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one just a lil angsty with that prime happy ending!

Listening to Kakashi recall the events of the mission brought back some... interesting feelings. You sigh as the grip on your hips got tighter. It was from stress and protectiveness as your husband held you. He’s sat on the edge of the windowsill with his legs apart to have you in between them. You rub his knees as he bit his lip. He was going to tell, you know he is. A comforting kiss is placed on the back of your neck before Jiraiya sat up straight and spoke up.

“That sounds familiar.” He said. He began to pull on your hips to make you turn around. He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Show them.”

You don’t cooperate. You shake your head and lean against him rather than spin like he wants.

“It’s not that big a deal, hon. Don’t be so dramatic.” You spoke in a hushed tone as well.

“It is a big deal.” Jiraiya wasn’t budging. He forced you to turn around to face him. He pinched your chin to hold your head in place as he leans in for a kiss. “I thought I lost you.”

You smile at him. It was more sad than amused. You reach up to caress his face and play with some of his hair. His expression says it all. He’s still upset about the whole situation. His hands move up to the collar of your kimono. He pulled it open and off of you, revealing your body to your torso. Much like him, you wear older fashioned clothing with light armour for convenience. You have on a netted shirt that will tangle and stop most weapons from piercing your body. The dark grey colour of the shirt hides what lays underneath.

The room was rather silent as the build of the reveal had all their attentions. You bow your head and stare at your husband’s neck blankly as he pulled on the shirt. When it’s pulled to your shoulders, there’s a shift in the atmosphere. The adults in the room shift with an uncomfortableness about them as they see the damage done to your body.

“This....” Jiraiya paused for dramatic effect. “Is the result of only a fraction of the Nine Tails power.”

His fingers run down your spine. It forced a shudder out of you. Almost every square inch of your back is scared over. Your skin warped and torn from some sort of horrible injury. The scar itself is still red as some of it still must be healing.

The impact point was your lower left side. It was a crater. Like someone cupped their hand and scooped out part of your flesh. Then there’s tears all along your back like how lightning is depicted in art. Zig zags that spread all around and curved around your shoulders to the front. It’s truly awful.

You grab the hem from Jiraiya’s hands and yank it down. He helps you pull your kimono back on properly. With tight fists he pulled on the front hem to pull you closer against him. His lips press against yours in an apologetic kiss. There’s the signs of tears in your eyes and he hated that.

This scar was never meant to be yours to bear. It should have been his. He was prepared to take it. Yet you jumped in front of him. He held you in a tight hug. Your face pressed against the crook of his neck as he kept you in that secure spot. The position wasn’t so different. Especially when you hug him with your hands gripping his shoulders.

“I’m sorry.” Was all he said.

You nod and simply seek the comfort of his embrace. Jiraiya didn’t go into detail. He spared plenty of it since it would only upset you more. But the others in the room got the gist.

Sometimes good ideas come with bad consequences. You got hurt because Jiraiya was attempting something different when it came to Naruto’s training. Having a demon with a crap ton of chakra could be useful. But tapping into that power had caused unforeseen consequences. Naruto lost control as the beast took over and used his body. The Nine Tails had his sights set on Jiraiya.

Jiraiya was prepared to face the consequences of his actions in rousing the beast. This was a bad idea. He tried to talk Naruto back into consciousness. The boy had to be in there somewhere. But the demonic red gaze of the demon fox never faded or changed. The fourteen year old was on his feet and hands coiled up to launch an attack. Teeth bared and hackles raised to strike. A cloak of red in the shape of a feline over his body. The tail that had formed was flicking back and forth with impatience.

Once Naruto had launched with the clear intention to kill, Jiraiya braced. There was no use in escaping it. He couldn’t. You were beside him but just far enough away where Naruto paid you no mind. He asked you to run. Of course you didn’t. You’d never leave him.

You wouldn’t let him be hurt either. You moved without thinking. Your arms wrapped around Jiraiya just as the sharpened claws of the demon’s vessel met your back.... That was all you remember. Jiraiya hadn’t ever spoken about it. You woke up some time later with him cuddled right up against you, hiding you under his body as if shielding you from something.

“Can we go?... Please?” You ask quietly.

“Okay.” 

Your husband ducked his head under the window and leaned back. You kick your legs up to go over the sill and fall back with him. Both you and him land on the ground gently. You hold his hand and remain rather quiet. He falls quiet too.

Making you upset was never Jiraiya’s intention. It’s important that the other mentors in Naruto’s life understand the wreckage that even a small part of the demon fox’s power can do. You... you don’t really understand. You were too out of it to really see the brunt of it. Being the bystander was terrible. That sense of helplessness and fear was overwhelming. It’s selfish, but he would have much rather be the victim than the caretaker. You handle that kind of stress better than him.

“Do you think I’m weak?...” You ask. You don’t have the courage to look him in the eye, scared his face will say it all. You touch your shoulder where some of the scar curled around from your back.

“No. Don’t think that about yourself.” He was still rather quiet. He squeezed your hand.

“Then... why?” You stop walking and look up at him. “Why do you feel so strongly about this? We agreed to this risk together.”

Jiraiya looks you over slowly. His expression is unreadable again. Despite being married to him for so long, he knows how to blank his face out in such a way that you struggle to understand. You know he’s thinking and he not happy about what he’s thinking, but what his train of thought exactly is you aren’t sure. Does he think you really weak? Or fragile? Or maybe... not enough? Do you lack appeal now that you have such a horrible scar?

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Was the reply you got.

There’s a place always set aside for you and Jiraiya. Being people of standing meant a few perks. Like a decent apartment with a decent bed and shower to unwind. You walk beside him silently to the safe haven. Once inside you break away from him to head to the bathroom. He didn’t say anything, just let you go.

You feel dirty. Sweaty and hot from the surprisingly beautifully warm late fall day. A cool shower is just what you need to get clean and think. Again one of the perks of being a well respected S class meant a few luxuries. Like a walk in shower big enough for two. You flick on the water and undress. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror as you stood up from pulling your panties off. Your back is facing the mirror. You look over your shoulder to inspect the scar. The massive.. ugly scar. Gnarled and twisted. Morphing your insides and out. Your spine now slightly crooked. Your belly was even affected. You got a weird bulge on the side of your torso as the impact of the attack had pushed your organs forward in that area. You need surgery for it. Yet another scar to add to your body. Another one that might be making your husband less attracted to you. One side of your body is already so mangled. Can’t the other be left alone?

You turn your head back around. You don’t want to stare at yourself any longer. Staring at your scars will only do you more harm. You step into the shower and try to relax. But it doesn’t work. The moment you step into the water the tears come. People saw your mangled body. It felt wrong that people knew you had such a terrible scar. Your husband has barely touched you since you got your scar. The few times he has the lights were off and he never fucked you from behind since your back is wrecked. Is he really disgusted with you?

“Hey sweetheart?” The sound Jiraiya’s voice startled you. You didn’t hear him approach above the sound of the water. You turn to face him. He’s only got a towel around his waist keeping him decent. “Can I join you?”

You nod. Even if he does feel differently about your body, you want him to be near you. He winks as he drops the towel and strolls right in with a smirk. He stands in front of you. Being so close to you now does he see you are upset. He grabs you by the hips and pulls you against him. He is quick to embrace you again. You hold on, feeling conflicted.

“Are you still attracted to me?” You whisper.

“Of course I am!” Jiraiya fixes his posture to look you in the eye. He looked hurt that you would even think something so horrible. “Why would you ask that?”

You stare at him with your big teary eyes. “I know I’m not very pretty... I never really was. B... but this scar. I...”

“Hey. Don’t say that. Don’t ever say you aren’t pretty.” He told you quite seriously. “And that scar isn’t anything to be ashamed of.” He paused and caressed your back, bringing his hands down it until they met at the concave impact point. “I’ll love you no matter what happens.”

“Then.... why don’t you touch me like you used to?”

Jiraiya didn’t say something at first. He took in a deep breath before giving you a kiss. You don’t understand. How can you? You were passed out for over a week. He hadn’t breathed a word about it to you or Naruto.

“You almost died... I don’t think you realized how hard it was to see.” He explains some of his reasoning. “I hated it and I didn’t want to rush into anything while you recovered.”

You stare at him for a few moments. Curious. Why does he feel this way? What exactly happened to you that makes him so fearful of your health?

“Tell me what happened?” You ask as you hold his eyes for answers. “I don’t understand why you feel so strongly about this. I’ve been hurt before.”

“Not like this...”

It was near death. A near death he was supposed to experience not you. You flung yourself at Jiraiya just in time. Your arms wrapped around his sides where he felt you grip fistfuls of his haori. A flash of red, then suddenly he was flying back. His feet knocked out from under him as he soared through the air and collided with something. The wood was old and dry. It splintered and broke apart as if made from toothpicks. Just one of the many abandoned houses that mark the older paths of the continent. The original plan was to camp out into one after training...

The splintered ends dug into Jiraiya’s back, but that was the least of his worries. It took a moment for his vision to stop spinning. The taste of blood was in the back of his throat. His torso felt sore from the impact. He expected the pain to be worse. Searing and agony to withstand. Yet there was nothing more than a throbbing in his whole body like a wave had crashed upon him and stolen his breath. He hadn’t realized that you were the reason why he didn’t feel close to meeting the reaper. Honestly he was figuring it was just too much for his nerves and brain to process so it all went numb to keep him from dying of shock.

Then your weight that he knows so well was laying over top of him. How many times in his life have you laid over top of him? With your head on his chest and arms around him... He lost count a long time ago. But looking down and seeing your hair then realizing what happened made it feel like it would be the last time. You were... disturbingly still.

He tried getting your attention. Holding your face and calling your name, but you didn’t respond. He sat up despite how riddled with pain his back was. He held you to keep you cradled against his body.

What sounded like a bucket of water being thrown sounded through his ringing ears. He looked down to his feet to see a puddle of splattered blood. It splashed over his feet and stained him. That’s when the realization hit.

You are bleeding. Not just a little bit either. Jiraiya pulled you back to rest more how you first did against his body. From there he could see that your blood was covering your back. Your clothing completely shredded. There was no skin left it looked like. Just your flesh underneath and blood. So much blood.

That was the first time fear truly gripped him. You died. You just died. You saved him and died. It was his worst nightmare brought to life. Suddenly breathing became hard as a swell of emotions came. Panic and dread clouded his mind as he figured he just lost his wife. His loving beautiful wife of so many years. The one person he thought wouldn’t ever leave before he did.

A movement caught his eye and Jiraiya raised his gaze from your body. He held you tighter as he realized Naruto was still under the influence of the demon. The teen was hissing and baring his teeth like a wild beast. Your blood coating his hand and splattered over his face.

“Naruto please... I know you can hear me.” Jiraiya begged his student to return to normal. This absolute nightmare had gone on long enough. “Please... just... please.”

He wasn’t sure what he was even asking for anymore. The despair of losing you had sapped his strength. He felt tired and extremely alone. He couldn’t run even if he wanted to. He already came to the conclusion that if you died, he wanted to die too. It was the most clear thought he had in that haze of emotional distress. How could he even cope with being near Naruto when he knows you died as a result of his mistake? It’s all his fault. He holds you tightly and buried his face against your hair as he awaited to be cut down. Feeling some sort of acceptance and peace as he didn’t feel so lonely as he held you.

The nausea inducing chakra the demon produced began to fade. Jiraiya looked out from under your comforting hair to see Naruto stagger. Those sharp red eyes grew lax and hazy. He stumbled and collapsed only a few feet away from his mentors. The red colour faded from his body. A bit of smoke rose from his unconscious body as he laid in the dirt.

For a while, Jiraiya didn’t breathe. He stayed still for what felt like hours. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry or laugh. His emotions are shot at this point. It was a cruel joke. You were struck down but he was spared? Why? Why when he deserves it so much more? You are still unmoving and quiet in his arms. He’s held you so tightly this whole time his muscles were under strain. Did it even matter? He reached up to fix your messy hair to see your face. He accidentally smeared blood all over your cheek. His whole arm is coated. Your face twitched. Then a quiet whimper came from deep in your throat.

That was enough to have the blood start pumping. It was as if the adrenaline waited until that very moment of validation. The pain dulled and senses sharpened. You are alive! Jiraiya felt his throat clench as he got choked up. You’re alive! He hadn’t lost you and he couldn’t be more grateful. He exhaled a deep shaky breath and nuzzled his cheek against yours. The small puffs of your shallow breaths soothed him. Thank god.

With shaky legs he stood and carried you to the closest shelter. It began to rain. The wind had picked up. Thankfully it looked like the house he collided with wasn’t the only one near by. He still had to trudge across a field, but he set you down under a roof. Once he was on his knees, he wanted to collapse. This was taxing. He pushed through the exhaustion and did what he could. He retrieved his backpack and pilfered through it with stone heavy hands until he found his med kit. From there his body just sorta moved without much input from his brain. All he knew was that he had to tend to you. Thinking too much about it might just force him to break down into tears.

Jiraiya wrapped your body in bandages. He placed his spare kimono over you. He spent some time just brushing your hair away from your face and staring at you. You feel so small and fragile. He was tempted to just lay down with his arm around you and sleep for a whole day. But alas there is a passed out teenager he had to scrape off of the ground and shelter. He stood to go fetch Naruto from the ground, but he hit the wall. Once he got to his feet a head rush stunned him before taking him down to unconsciousness.

The next he awoke he wasn’t sure how long he was out. It could have been only a few moments or hours. He didn’t feel any better. He was still exhausted. He checked you first, petrified that you perished when he was out cold. But you were still breathing. Your heart beats on. The bandages were soaked through and saturated the kimono he blanketed you with. He changed them out, expending a lot of his energy before tucking you in with the same blanket. He’s short on supplies.

From there he fetched Naruto, who was still in a curled little ball where he last was. Only now soaked from rain. It was still raining. Jiraiya more or less dragged him to the house and set him on the floor. The tired sage went back and forth a few times, gathering bags and supplies that had scattered in the fight. He stood watch over his family for a long time. Slumped against the wall of the small abandoned farm house. He was tired, but refused to rest for some time. Letting the sun rise and fall. Unmoving and quiet he watched like a sentinel. Not really feeling much as he stares.

No one woke up for a while. When hunger finally hit, he attempted to eat while telling himself he ought to keep his strength up in order to take care of you. His stomach disagreed. The nutrition bar came right back up and just managed to scramble to the door. He choked and coughed up the ration on the dirt outside. The curiosity got the better of him and he took a glance at it. There’s blood mixed in with the granola he failed to digest, meaning he had some internal damage despite not taking the brunt of the attack.

It took what little energy he had conserved. On that gross note, Jiraiya crawled to your side and collapsed back into another dreamless rest. He felt safe at your side.

After that it was mostly just taking care of you. Stitching up what he could and wrapping your wounds tightly. Naruto woke up before you, confused and with no memory of the event. Jiraiya didn’t really speak to him for the first day. Which was fine as Naruto was hazy and shocked at the sight of you. He seemed to understand why Jiraiya was quiet and simply left it alone. There was a tension in the air among the two men that neither of them really liked. Jiraiya didn’t want to hate Naruto and Naruto had no clue why his caretaker was so wary around him. The relationship did eventually heal and they are back on being two similar goofballs together, but it took some time. When it came to you, no matter what or who, Jiraiya was slow to forgive whoever hurt you.

Despite your insistence, Jiraiya couldn’t just pretend that nothing happened. You were hurt. Badly hurt. On his watch. He feels responsible. You couldn’t walk for a month because your spine was injured. It was only by some miracle that your spine didn’t receive worse. With Jiraiya’s help, you got on your feet rather quickly. He held your hands and helped you the first little bit. Only then when you were walking and laughing with him again did he relax. 

It was painful. It was hard. But you recovered. Your body won’t ever be the same.

While you were aware enough to know you were being taken care of, you had no clue it stressed Jiraiya out that much. He didn’t let on that he was that worried. You listen to his retelling of the situation in absolute silence. As he said details, you could recall certain things. The bags under his eyes and noticing that he didn’t really eat that much. He was ashen in complexion for the first day you awoke, but you wrote it off as him feeing sick. Little did you know that he literally worried himself sick. Along with the internal damage he ignored to care for you, it’s a shock he pulled through in one piece. He finished his story with a question.

“Why did you jump in front of me?” Jiraiya asks quietly. “It would have been easier if you had let me take that hit.”

His fingers stroke around the rim of the impact crater on your back. It tickled a little. The nerves there are all out of whack. You run your hands down his chest, imagining where the scar would be on him. It’d be hard to think that you would have behaved any different. If you did let Naruto attack Jiraiya, his whole chest and abdomen would have been torn open. That came with its own list of complications. His heart and ribs could have been crushed. His beautiful skin would have been torn and wrecked. He wouldn’t be the same, but you would love him with no doubts. If anything you would just feel as guilty as he does. You’d be thinking the same thing. Why didn’t you act when you had the opportunity?

Your fingers are tracing a scar that could have been. Jiraiya remains quiet as he watches your expression. Over his chest, collarbone, neck... You caress his chin and jaw. Seeing him in that amount of pain would have been hard to deal with. You probably would have been in more of a mess than he was. He kept it together surprisingly well despite how it must look objectively. But he probably only kept together as well as he did for Naruto’s sake. In a different reality without that love they have for one another he would have been way more malicious and close to a complete break down.

You’ve seen him hurt before. Each time he got hurt it hurt you too. You have once watched your husband struggle for survival after an intense battle. His heart beat dropping and wheezing breaths stressed you out enough that it felt like you had aged. Seeing him wrapped up in bandages hurt you to the soul. Being in a hospital and worrying over him has happened too many times for your liking. He’s sacrificed a lot for other people. He has enough scars.

“I don’t like seeing you hurt.” You finally decide on an answer. “It feels like you always bear the pain of too many things. I wanted to protect you from it this time.”

He’s silent for some time. Looking at you with both a sadness and an understanding. Perhaps he does have too many scars. Some of the deepest ones are not physical. You’ve seen him through at his absolute lowest when his very soul was scarred from loss. His friends. People who have become family to him are gone and it has left it’s cold rough mark on him. You are the last of it left. It’s why he’d face death itself and beg for your life if he had to. You never left him when so many have. He couldn’t handle it if you went first for any reason. It would leave him hollow.... He won’t allow it. He demands to die first. He will go first if it means saving you.

“Protect me? I don’t need to be protected.” Jiraiya said with a small amused smile. He places a kiss on you before speaking again. “That’s my job. I will and will always want to protect you.”

“I don’t need to be protected either.” You say. You lay your hands on the back of his neck to cradle it. “I’m just as strong as you are. I remember everything you’ve ever taught me.”

“Everything?” He drawls the word out into a note that ends high for his vocal range. Something he typically does when he’s feeling flirty. He ain’t afraid to grab your ass and rock his hips against yours to sell the idea of what he wants. “Are you sure that hit to your back didn’t knock out some information?”

“What kind of information do you think I have forgotten?”

He chuckles as he rubs your ass and pushes his body against yours. He likes it in any way, but there’s something so pristine about you being wet and hot in the shower with him. With enough room in said shower to dance in it, the darn thing was asking for you and him to take advantage of the spacious shower. Hm... but what to do to you inside of it? Something different he could try out before maybe putting it in a future work. You are his favourite research to work upon. Looking around the steamy shower. The niche with a few products. Maybe. Turning the water cold? Now that’s just cruel. As much as he likes seeing you perky, it didn’t suit the mood. His eyes follow from the tap up to the metal hose that attached the shower head to the waterline. Hey... it detaches from the wall. Nice.

Your eyes follow Jiraiya’s hand as it reaches behind and above you. Casting a look back you realized he’s grabbed the detachable shower head. A few things come to mind when seeing it in his hand. While perverted, your husband is also a goof. A child who isn’t above switching the mode on the head to go from the gentle rain head to the hard concentrate of water in the middle and attacking you with it.

“Let me wash you up, sweetheart!” Jiraiya offered with glee.

You smile and nod. It’s still playful, but sexual. That sounds perfect. Where else to start than with your head? He holds the shower head just above your head, dragging it slowly down from root to tip. His other hand is massaging your scalp and pulling away the tangles without hurting you. After a few runs through your hair, Jiraiya couldn’t resist going in further. Kissing the side of your neck a few times before latching on to suck on a hickie. The shower head forgotten for a few moments as he bruises your skin in that all telling naughty way.

With his free hand he finished playing with your hair to instead drag it down your spine. He finds a line to follow. The scar ran deep, but that didn’t mean he had to always hurt you when thinking about it. Laying a little worship on it may change your perspective. He didn’t find it ugly. It was simply another reminder of how strong you are. His wife has more cool scars than him, adding to her respect and renown as a warrior. Who didn’t want that in a partner? You’re way cooler than him.

Your eyes shut as you focus on the feeling. Your nerves are being tickled. They are aware of the pressure. It feels nice. Jiraiya was no longer afraid to press his fingers into the deep grooves and exploring the new canvas of your back. The warm water and perfect pressure of the shower head follows his hand like a shadow. Even through the scar he could find knots in your muscles. He worked on them slowly, pressing his fingers into the middle of the tense spot while dragging the water across your back to keep you both warm and enticed.

He should enjoy himself too. You reach your arms around him to his shoulders. Pressing and rubbing spots in his body you know he always gets tight at. He hums when you do, his not so verbal way of saying he likes it. Bit by bit his hands undo you. Turning you on with a tenderness that hasn’t had an opportunity to show itself in almost three years. Out of respect and the poor innocence of Naruto, you refused to sleep with Jiraiya with the kid in the same room. Unless really in the mood, he never sprung to buy a separate bedroom for the kiddo. Or he’d simply drag you off to a deeper part of the woods after tricking his student into ‘meditating for growth’ to have a quiet quickie against a tree. Any sort of touching like this was always interrupted by either a blissfully ignorant teenager or you who didn’t want to be touched while that teenager watched with wide panicking eyes. Jiraiya hated but loved it. He likes being teased and somewhat relished in the idea of making Naruto squirm at the sight of some affections. He was crass enough of a human being to suggest trying to get away with it not only in public but in front of his fricking godson.

Jiraiya slowly moves up, kissing up your jaw to your lips. It’s been close to three years since you could make out with him like this. Those little intimate moments taken away as Naruto’s immaturity always found it... how does he put it? Yucky? Crinkling his nose and sticking his tongue out as he watched ‘two old people’ be romantic. Being called out did offend you enough to flick the boy’s nose. Jiraiya was more on board to hammer the kid into the ground with a downward hit to the skull. It was nice to be able to do it again in complete solitude. With no yuckys or insults to interrupt anymore.

Having it had been so long to be so completely engrossed in one another, it got heated. Teeth clashing and tongues eager to play. The last time he did manage to kiss you this heated during that time was after you recovered. He held you almost exactly like this before uttering those simple three words over and over between kisses. Perhaps you should’ve guessed how worried he was from that alone. But it was such an overwhelming experience of connecting again after weeks of nursing you that you could hardly think.

He grips a handful of your ass again and squeezes hard. Your body twitched in surprise. Flexing and rocking against him as you know what’s going to follow. As he always does, he teases you. The flat metal back of the shower head pressing against your sex. The water splashing to your feet. It’s hot against your flesh and vibrating slightly from pushing the water out of the spout. A quiet laugh comes from deep in his throat as you shift and groan.

The stream of water runs up your right leg. Jiraiya slowly rotates the shower head until right at that joint that connects your innermost thigh to your pelvis. An inch more and you’d be in heaven. Instead he flicks it by, giving you a jolt of excitement and need to your body before its gone in an instant.

“Jiraiya!...” You groan in an annoyed whine. For a moment you are tempted to grab it from him and get yourself off.

“Heh... sorry. You’re so easy to tease sometimes.”

“Considering who I’m married to, that’s quite the surprise isn’t it?”

Your now swelling sensitive lips feel that puff of air from his amused exhale like a gust of wind. Even though it hurts a little now, they are eager for more. It’s not the only thing you’re eager for. He captures your lips in another kiss before turning the shower head to give you what you want. The stream attacks your sex. The water pressure just enough to get you started.

Despite being married for the better half of your life to this man, this was a first. Jiraiya is experimental to say the least. He’s used unconventional tools to get you off before. But the shower head was a first. Mostly because no hotel has a detachable head to their shower and living that kind of lifestyle most your life meant the opportunity never came up before.

He tilts the head to force the water to blast right against you. It pleasures you from clit to slit. It was different from other toys in it’s feeling. It is constant and invading. You are tense and bucking into it. Gripping the man you love tightly as he succeeds in jerking you off. Your legs soon start shaking from it.

“Does that feel good, babe~? You’re quivering.” Jiraiya purrs against your ear.

“Y-You know it does!”

More soft chuckles rock his body. He caresses the back of your thigh before pulling on it. He forced you to hook that leg around his waist. He whips the shower head around to pleasure you at a different angle. You hold onto him harder, afraid you might fall over. The head is right against your skin now. He’s moving it back and forth to cover as much as he can.

There is a different mode on this shower head. From this backwards angle, Jiraiya can now clearly see where the switch is. It’ll take the ring of spread holes around the edge of the head to switching it to the more intense stream of water in the centre. Less rain and more fire hose. He hovers his thumb around the switch watching your face as it contorts in different expressions of pleasure.

Just in case, Jiraiya backs you up against the wall. It was more like hopping as he didn’t release your leg. But it would be worth it to see how this would play out. He didn’t want you to fall over and hurt yourself. Cracking your head open is the last thing you or him need. He gave you a quick kiss. You look at him with a furrowed brow. He simply grins before flicking it.

It stole your breath away for a moment. You hold onto him with mouth hung open. The harder stream of water was much more. He holds it against your entrance for some time, watching you cry and buck from the sensation. Then he went up pay attention to your clit again. Switching against the two proved the best strategy so neither got over stimulated. He leans back in to tease a few other things on your body. Sucking and biting your neck. He released your thigh to fondle a breast and sucking on that for a while.

There’s a quiet squeak on the tile. Your toes curl against it causing the sound. Your nails dig into his shoulders. Your breathing gets quicker and quicker with excitement. Harder. Harder! You cry unintelligible nonsense as you rut against the shower head and your husband. He groans and nips a little too hard. The jolt of pain broke up the pleasure for just a moment. You don’t last much longer. You go tense as you cum.

The shower head clatters against the tile. Jiraiya dropped it in favour of grabbing you. Your leg gave in. Yet his grace was not about him. He painfully grips and pulls your ass in a none graceful grab while his head butts the wall above your shoulder. You react and grab his head. With a lack of grip, you slide slowly down with him to the floor. The ridges of the tile and grout uncomfortably scraping against your back as you do so.

“Are you okay, honey?” You ask.

It’s hard not to laugh at him. Jiraiya sat back, pouting. He rubs his forehead where he collided against the wall. There’s a red mark and slight bump forming, but nothing serious. You sit up and kiss his forehead, comforting him like he was a baby. He occasionally likes to be coddled like that when in a sarcastic tone.

“Yeah I’ll be okay.” He huffs.

You coo at him and kiss the spot again. He raised his head so you had little choice than to kiss his lips. For a few moments you and him kiss. Reaching down to touch him reveals he’s still in the mood. He smiles, forcing the kiss to break.

“You still want it, babe?” He asks.

“Of course I do.” You answer as you walk your fingers up his chest like they were little legs.

“Then turn around and put your hands on the wall.”

You lean your head back to look at him. A brow raised.

“Are you arresting me?”

He laughs. The sound of it echoing around the walls. He places his hands on the wall on either side of your face to block you in. He leans in and grins.

“Why? Have you been naughty~?”

“No more than you.” You answer. You lean forward just enough to hover by his face. His lips perk with the expectation to be kissed again. Instead you flash your tongue out to lick his lip and nose. He flinches in surprise. Which was pretty cute. He’s hard to surprise.

You flip over and take the position he wants. His hands travel up your sides as he hums. Now this is a sight that’ll always turn him on. Looking you up and down as you are ready to have him put it in. Ass out and legs shifting in anticipation. The sight line from your back to your head was still lovely. Your scar doesn’t do anything to put him off. You’re gorgeous.

It’s about time to get down to the best part. Watching you sit there with a need was enough but when your hand drops to touch yourself was extra motivation. While he enjoyed watching, it was time he joined in. He sits up on his knees. He makes a point to kiss your back, finding a groove to tease as he slides in. You groan at the familiar intrusion. That’s good.

You stay put as Jiraiya moved his hips. It wasn’t too fast or hard. It was steady as quickly found a pace you and him both like. His grunts are soft and deep in your ear. Those soft kisses to your back have stopped in favour to breathe. It’s amazing how you manage to overwhelm him with how good it feels every single time.

You are eager to meet him half way. Pushing back and crying out. It feels so good to finally have the opportunity to really let loose and use your voice. It’s always hard to think of what to say other than his name or saying the word yes like he’s offering you all your favourite things.

It doesn’t take long for you to take over. Riding him at the same pace he set. Using the wall to your advantage to help raise you up and fall down. Jiraiya curses under his breath. He leans forward again until his hand touches the wall. His fingers graze yours. He grips your hip with a squeeze that told you to keep going. He rests his head against your shoulder, breathing heavily and groaning your name.

“Oh..” You say softly before sitting up.

Leaning back to rest against him switched up the angle ever so slightly. It was still good. Somehow it felt deeper. He felt it too and his breath hitches for a moment. His hand grips yours tightly. His other hand rises slowly from your hip to flutter around your belly. Stroking and touching it to add a different sensation to your skin. One that was gentle and soothing that both suited the way you were fucking him but also seemed different. Perhaps it was because you are very aware of the spot, but his fingers tickle more around the bulge where your organs are more out of place. He’s not a big fan of you having internal damage. He’ll bring attention to it if just so you remember it as something that turned you on rather than put you off. It does move on eventually. Finding a place to massage your breast or pay delicate attention to your clit, switching between the two with an uncertainty of where his affections will be better placed. He does come to a compromise. Releasing your hand to grope your breast while the other rubs you off. His lips return to cover your neck in affection.

You reach up and behind to grab and hold some of his hair. His body is so hot against yours. Even when the now cold water of the unhinged shower head flies by in a rogue attack. Turning it off was far out of the way. You turn your face to meet his. Arching as far as you can in order to meet his lips with yours. As quick and as passionate as it was before do teeth and tongues get involved again. Breaking only to gasp and tense up.

You tend to freeze up. To counteract this Jiraiya is well practiced in taking over, prepared to finish this how it started as you teeter on the edge. Pushing you back against the wall and going faster to push you over until reaching the end. He’s quick and eager to follow, whining your name against your ear as he pushes harder. Your body is uncomfortably squished between his body and the wall. For several long blissful moments it stays like that. The pleasure too good to want to ignore the restrictions in your breathing.

Once over, you are released. Jiraiya maneuvers himself to sit beside you against the wall. You slowly flip over to rest your back against it as well. For some time you and him simply breath until recovered. He makes the first sudden movement. Raising his hand up above him against the wall. He feels for the tap and switched it off. The white noise of the water falls quiet. Only drips and heavy breathing fills the air.

“Heh.... Did I convince you?” He broke the quiet with a question.

“Convince me of what?” You ask.

“That I still find you attractive!”

“You say it like you’re lying.” You can’t help but tease him.

“What! Babe, I didn’t do all that just to get away with a lie. I can’t get away with lying to you anyways.”

“That’s true. Only because you’re a terrible liar.”

He frowns at you. His lip stuck out in a childish pout. The only reason he can’t lie to you is because you know him too well. You smile and confirm you are only joking. He has indeed proven himself that not only is he still attracted to you, but that he loves you. Not that you could ever doubt that. A man doesn’t worry himself into sickness over a woman he doesn’t care about. Nor would he go the extra mile and above to make sure you are okay. He even demanded Tsunade do your minor surgery, even though the threat of you dying from getting your organs netted back into place was so little. She has better things to do, which you pointed out and she only agreed to it after you said it. Alas your husband is stubborn. He didn’t care. He wants the best for you.

Eventually you and him leave the bathroom. If just to get warm. The cold began to seep through the comfort of the warmth. The cold air was relentless in its need to invade and cool the water on your skin. Much like children, you and Jiraiya are content to wrap each other in towels and stay like that for hours. The other advantage of this temporary home was a kitchen and a fridge that had some supplies. So cooking mostly naked was a plus. For him mostly. You have to stick to fluids.

After a peaceful night, you awake in a bed tangled with Jiraiya and damp towels. He’s all too happy to delay you a little. His arms wrapped around you as he flops back into bed with you ensnared. His laughter almost evil as he relished in your struggling. He did eventually let you go, but only after you poked him in the ribs. You dress and so did he. He still was rather distracted as he preferred to kiss you than put his shirt on properly.

The only way Tsunade would agree to do the surgery is if you agreed to an early appointment. You did and Jiraiya was content. He did drag his feet a little, mostly because he didn’t like being away from you. The very early morning streets didn’t have much for company. Some recognizable figures are there. Gai running laps with his students. Some of the marketplace owners setting up some of their stores. A few children who probably hadn’t gone to bed yet. Exhausted looking ninja dragging themselves back into the village after an overnight assignment.

Jiraiya stuck to you until the very last moment. He couldn’t be in the surgery room with you, but he stayed by you until he could no longer follow. The waiting room. Getting changed. Right up until you were called in to be wheeled away.

“Love you, I’ll be here when you wake up.” He bids you goodbye.

“Love you too. I look forward to it.” You reply before hopping onto the bed.

Surgery isn’t so scary, not when you know he’s waiting for you. You look over the nurse wheeling you away to wave. He grins and waves back. You know he’ll probably stay in the building, not wanting to stray far. There is a wave of calmness within you. Unafraid of your future as you get put under and hooked up to monitors.

Next you awake, you see that your man is true to his word. He’s arguing quietly about something stupid with someone. His voice the first thing that registers in your consciousness.

“I think I know what flowers my wife likes!” Jiraiya hisses.

“Oh come on, I’m telling ya she always picks up these ones when we saw them in the wild!” Naruto argues.

“That’s because they’re wild flowers! They’re free to pick!”

Opening your eyes and turning your head reveals the boys are standing in your hospital room. So lost in their argument they don’t notice you are awake. They both have a bouquet in their hands. Your husband with your favourite and your godson with your second favourite. Attempting to move got their attention. You sit up just fine and they gasp.

They both cry your name and you suddenly have two very affectionate men on either side of you. Both of them find a place to cling on without hurting you. You roll your eyes a little as you raise your arms to rest on each of their backs. They are both naturally dramatic, but over dramatic when together. They act as if you have risen from a decade long coma. It’s day surgery not a major operation. It is nice to know that you are so loved.

You give each boy a kiss on the cheek. For some time you and them stay in this weird cuddle huddle. The dull throb of your abdomen numbed when you hold them. It will heal and become another scar. Even so... it’s not so bad. The scars that make you tell a story. No matter how they come about, they’re always healed with love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m also working on something similar with like a reader who got Zukoed. With a facial and body burn scars and like was once the prime beauty of the leaf, married our boy, but is now like really unsure and has that misunderstanding trope but of course being a good bean, Jiraiya reassures her. I’m trying to differentiate it from this but does it sound too similar, my dear readers? It is a different conflict with similar notes idk. I don’t wanna seem one note.


	56. Banging The Local Cryptid Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year and many months later, life is very different. Each day you are with your strange discovery, of whom you have named Jiraiya. Despite being locked in a cage with him everyday.... life could be worse. But when you suspect something has changed in your body, it doesn’t bring happiness like it usually does in normal circumstances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this a while ago, but wasn’t sure where to plop it down. But I also didn’t want to wait any longer but also didn’t feel like it deserved a week to itself. So I figured I’ll post a day early now then post again on Wednesday for the birthday chapter and then the next week we will go back to our regularly scheduled program of usually Monday sometimes Tuesday posting.

The horn of a familiar alarm woke you up. The speakers cracked and squealed from the feedback of the alarms as they couldn’t handle it. The heat began to rise and make it more toasty. The humidity rose to make it swampy. The loud click of the lights turning on sounded. A deep sigh sounded from your partner. He was beside you, being your big spoon. His face is nuzzled against your neck. Despite the fact that each day begins like this, it’s hard to wake up sometimes. 

“It early...” He sighs.

“Who knows if it’s really day.” You sigh as well.

“What do you mean?”

“They control the lights. Who knows if they turn them on when it’s actually day or if it’s night.”

“Ohh..”

Your beloved monster sat up and yawned. He stretched out all the way to his toes. When he relaxed, he flopped down on his back. This place is strange to him. He was taken to this place moons ago. It felt about four or five. His thigh still had a bruise from the sharp thing they shot at him, so it’s been long but not very long. He had just finished mating with you when he was shot in the leg by a thing that looked strange. Metallic and thin tipped but had a fatter body. Like a mosquito or a wasp. He was injected with something that made him sleepy. Next he knew he awoke in a place that didn’t smell like home. You were already awake with the only thing covering you being a silky robe. He’s in one too, which he didn’t mind all that much. It’s soft.

You he liked. A lot. The only human for him. The rest can rot. They’ve done nothing but hurt you. You are his mate now. And they won’t get away with hurting his mate. You aren’t like these humans. You are sweet, fun, smart, and you speak in a way he understands. You really care. Enough to give him a name.

“Jiraiya. Come on, they get mad when we hide.” You coax him.

Jiraiya. That name wasn’t like anything he was called before. Monster and freak was his usual names humans give him. When you explained what it met, he liked it. The toad summoner was the hero of the story. It was nice to be the hero for once. He watches your butt with a smile when you led the way... Another round of mating to cope is about due. It’s really the only thing to do around here. It keeps him close to you and you to him.

The den was the only thing good about this place. The low ceiling structure was secure and familiar. It was made out of a flat boulder that was angled out of the ground. The den was underground and shallow. With soft dirt and moss to cozy up to. It was the only thing that didn’t have a camera, that you’ve found anyways.

The cage itself didn’t feel like one. The ceilings are tall, maybe a hundred feet. It gives the slight illusion of a sky with the mist they dispense and the lights that shine down was a white daylight colour. The walls were hard to see since trees and jungle blocked the sight lines. They went on long enough to get tired from running to one end to the other. There’s a lake that has fish. There’s nature sounds, but there’s a slight metallic sound to them giving it away as all artificial. Despite how nice it is, this is no place for a creature like Jiraiya.

Now, why you are here? Even now it was hard to swallow. Your freedom stripped away. Your family has no idea where you are. All the things you took for granted was gone. All because you got involved with the unusual. When you visited Jiraiya for the second time, you were surrounded by people in raid armour. They shot Jiraiya with a tranquilizer before your boss revealed himself. He was ecstatic that one of his employees was involved with an abnormality. Honestly you thought you were going to be killed. But you were knocked out with barely an explanation. Next you awoke you were here in this human sized terrarium.

The explanation you were given was brief and it’s still shrouded in mystery. There’s a viewing window on one wall that you’ve met with and talked through it to your boss. All he told you was that the research and conservation labs he runs are just that, but for cryptids. He held up the photo you took of Jiraiya with a smile, saying he found it a few months ago in your desk at home. The fact he sifted through your personal belongings was incredibly violating.

“Now this is your home.” Your boss, Orochimaru as you call him now, announced as he gestured to the enclosure. The name is inspired by the villain of the old Japanese folklore story you read that inspired Jiraiya’s name. It fit pretty well as you’ve grown to despise him. “Your only objective now is to bare the children of this wonderful creature.”

“Why?” You asked quietly. All this information was overwhelming.

“These creatures are superior! They should be running this world rather than what we have now! They are the true rulers and deserve to have a chance to thrive and take back the world that rejected them!”

It was truly the rantings of a madman. Orochimaru didn’t answer any other questions you have. Who knows if you and Jiraiya are the first. By how they operate with such efficiency that’s probably not the case. There could be only a few, or maybe hundreds of unbelievable oddities kept captive here. All of them victims to this man’s insanity. Those poor creatures. They are probably just as frustrated at your creature was when first locked in.

Jiraiya was clearly trying to make the best of it. After weeks of attempting to escape, he’s finally come to terms. He’s ruined the walls with nail marks and he once shrieked at Orochimaru out of a frustration so intense he didn’t have words. Now he ran around to expend his energy. He climbed the trees like he did to the ones at home. He focused on taking care of his mate rather than breaking the walls.

He did look different dry. His hair was fluffy and wild. The plates on his sides were flat and closed. They didn’t need to be used when he’s above water all the time. The simply blended into his skin when not in use. His skin was rough in texture, but not unpleasant. You trace his markings with your finger when you speak to him. He likes it when you do so. He smiles and becomes very relaxed when you stroke his skin in anyway. He’s really a wonder.

As you predicted, Jiraiya was very smart. All of the down time you had with him was usually spent teaching him things. He was speaking in full sentences. He understood things when you explained stuff. But he refused to speak to the scientists. The speaker system would crackle to life and a calm male voice would ask questions. But Jiraiya just ignored them. He went about his day secretly relishing when the man on the speaker got very frustrated with his lack of cooperation.

“I know you can speak! Speak god damn it!” The enclosure echoed with the angered voice at least once every few days. To which you would usually find Jiraiya grinning maliciously at one of the cameras.

Once he grasped English to a better understanding, he talked about himself when you asked. You learned about his life. Which was fascinating. From what he could piece together in his head, Jiraiya was born on a completely different continent. His body is able to filter and survive in saltwater as well, but freshwater was easier to survive in. He swam across an ocean in his youth to flee the nest. He travelled around to different swamps and other water filled areas until he found somewhere isolated. It was in his nature to seek isolation. His survival depended on it as a predator. Then he met you... and he didn’t want to be alone anymore. He wanted his mate to stay. You did stay, not by choice unfortunately.

“I’d probably find a way to stay with you eventually.” You comforted him. “I was in the middle of uprooting my life and moving to be close to you.”

That at least made him feel better. And yeah it really couldn’t be more perfect in timing. You simply moved and went off grid. You at least got to say goodbye to your family. But the promise of seeing them again was now impossible. No more holiday dinners or parties. There’s no way to even know the date. None of the humans here care about that or want you to know that. But you can at least make a somewhat half good guess on the months that have gone by.

By your estimate, it’s been five months. The only thing you could use to gauge the time was your period. Your captors were nice enough to give you the luxury of sanitation pads and underwear. Only during that time unfortunately. They were weirdly stingy and sexual. Jiraiya nearly had a heart attack the first cycle. He thought you were dying as blood is always a bad sign. When you explained, he didn’t fully get it. He decided that even though he didn’t quite understand why you bleed from this strange process he would do what he could to comfort his mate. You aren’t given pain killers to help with the cramps so having Jiraiya around to hold you and be empathetic to your pain was incredibly comforting.

This month... you are late. You felt weird... your body felt weird. You just knew your period was late. The timing made sense. Without anything to do, you and Jiraiya occupy the occasional night having sex. It’s been a week or so since then and about a month since your last bleed. The faint feeling of your cramps aren’t really there when you do usually feel them. It was just... strange. Your body knows it feels strange, which just makes your brain worry more.

Or it could just be late and you’re paranoid. Hopefully that’s it. It’s scaring you. You’ve never been pregnant before let alone pregnant with a monster baby. You got a nuzzle and a kiss from your mate as he could sense you are stressed about something. He’s very sweet. He’s always worried about you. You kiss him back before letting him trot off. He prefers it when you stay near the den. To make him happy, you usually do. In that time, you try and build a fire so you can eat whatever he catches.

Jiraiya left you to go to the lake. Fish had become the biggest source of food for you and him. It was nice to dive into the water for a while. It felt like the closest thing to home. He dropped his robe to the shore before jumping in. It was deep. It was similar to some of the waters he came across in his youth. He’s a master fisherman and caught a few quickly. It’s clear that these fish have never been in the presence of a predator before and were rather docile, so catching them was a simple feat that wasn’t too strenuous. It made for an easy meal. Along with your praises for his swiftness, it tasted all that much better. When he surfaced with the fish in his mouth, new scents hit his nose.

Fear and anger flooded him. Jiraiya clumsily swam to the shore. He booked it back to the den. The smells were that of the white coats. He hates them and their smells. He followed them since your smell was among them. Those clever dirty bastards! They saw their window of opportunity when he left to hunt. The smell stops at the wall. The door was an electrically locked panel that was flush to the wall. His now old claw marks still decorated it. Panic filled him more as the scents get old. He can’t get through this stuff and he knows you’re on the other side.

Gone! Gone gone! Mate gone! Not good! It’s not good!!

His brain tends to revert to his primal and primitive understanding of things when his emotions are elevated. All Jiraiya’s instincts knew is that his mate was gone and he needed to fix it. There was no time to conduct himself and use that brain power to think more human. Because he’s not all human! He’s still over half other animal and it takes over more in an emergency situation. His instincts are what ensures his survival. They now must ensure your survival.

Jiraiya span on his heel and ran to the other side of the enclosure. He comes face to face with the strange wall. You called it a window. It reminds him of reflective still water. It tricked him once and he didn’t like it. He ran right into it, believing it was more enclosure by how well it reflected the forest around him. He hits it and growls. He can’t see them but he knows white coats are on the other side. They’re the reason why you were taken. He hates it. He hates them! He snarls and bashes it again.

“Give her back!” He demands. The strange thing under his hands was bending under the stress of his strength. Maybe if he pushes on it hard enough it’ll break. Then he can maul all of these white coats for taking you.

The window thing changed. It went from being reflective to see through. The cryptid is now face to face with a man that makes his hair stand on end. This tall thin figure. Pale like the moon and staring like an owl. This man had bad energy to him. Every time Jiraiya saw this particular white coat, his guard raised. This didn’t feel strictly human. It was a predator as well. With bad intentions. The finer tuned instincts he had were screaming at him that this thing was dangerous and to keep him away from you.

“Give her back.” Jiraiya demands again. He doesn’t back down. This is his territory now. He won’t allow another male to intimidate him.

“Or do what?” Orochimaru asks with a coy grin.

Jiraiya sneers and leans more heavily on the glass. It creaks and crackles along the seams. His enemy didn’t seem to be intimidated. He wants to rip this man apart. He will once he gets out of here. He’ll take you with him and take you back home. Even if it kills him, all he wants to do is show this smug human he can do it. He raised his fist and bashed it.

Bash! Bash! Bash!

He slammed his fist against the material. The man on the other side remained calm. It only irritated Jiraiya more. He hisses. He shakes out his hand. His knuckles are bloody but he didn’t care. You are gone. This man had you! He won’t let this stand! No one takes his mate! They’ll learn he is to be feared. He doesn’t compromise! This is his territory now and he will prove that he’s in control here. Not these people! Never these people!

He flexes his fist and draws it back. The glass is fractured and cracked now. He raises his gaze up to the white coat staring him down.

“I’ll take her back.”

The look on Orochimaru’s face basically said try it. So he will. Jiraiya is not a creature that backs down from a challenge. He slammed his fist into the glass again. It caused pain that ripples up his wrist, through his arm and down his spine. The shattering sound of the glass was worth it. The hole was only big enough for his hand. It was jagged and sharp.

Make it bigger! Get mate! Bring her home.

He reached in swiftly, like a snake striking prey. He swipes at the white coat that is undermining him. Pain keeps slowing him down as he scratches up his arm on the glass. As if to mock him, Orochimaru simply took a few steps away, never losing composure.

“You are such a fascinating creature.”

“Shut up!”

Jiraiya clawed at the other side of the glass, dragging his nails down it in a frustrated attempt to make the hole bigger. Blood is running down his arm and the pain is horrid. Like how he injured himself in the past on brambles or poison ivy. It stings. But he really didn’t care. He wants you back. He’d walk on all the brambles in the world for you.

He punched out some more of the glass to make the hole big enough to get through. He will get through! For you. He wants you so badly. His eyes lock with the cold gaze of his captor but not his ruler. The smile on the other man’s face still sends fire throughout his body. It overcame the pain and fear of losing you.

“Yai!” Jiraiya yelps.

His leg suddenly was numb. Looking over to see what happened revealed one of those pokey metal mosquito things stuck in his leg. His whole body felt tingly.

He glared at the smiling man behind the window. It took several tries with his numb tingly fingers to pull it out. He did the weakest throw ever that made it only a few feet. It clatters and stumbled onto the floor on the other side of the glass, into that smelly sterile environment. Jiraiya’s eyes drooped closed. He tried to fight it, but the venom in the metallic bug was too strong. He hit the ground with a fading consciousness. More pain followed in his arm as it undoubtedly got ripped deeper on the fang like teeth of the shattered glass. His last thoughts before fading into oblivion was terrifying thought of not knowing if he’d ever see you again.

Waking up under the influence of the knockout drugs always sucked. Jiraiya was stiff and cold as he became more aware. He sat up slowly with a quiet groan. The lights are dimmer. It’s the pretend dusk you’ve told him about. Everything here is not natural. It makes him nauseous if he thinks about it too hard. He’s been out for hours. Even if these lights are not of the real sun, their days are just as long. Looking at the window revealed that it was reflective again. It was whole again. Probably for the best. Seeing that smug pale man will only piss him off again.

His legs quivered under his own weight. He groans and pushes through it. Why? Why together again? He touched the glass. It feels different. Not as cold. Not as smooth. It’s not the same...

“Jiraiya?” Your distant voice caught his attention.

Jiraiya perks up immediately. He turned around, or tried. He stumbled around. He’d get to his feet to take a few steps before collapsing again. He still had tingles along his legs that made them feel like a floppy fish. It took thrice as long, but he got to the den.

The hazy expression said it all. Poor thing must have lost it when you were taken. Enough to get shot with a tranquilizer. You meet Jiraiya half way in the clearing that framed the den so he doesn’t have to walk as far. He’s bleeding. His right arm is mangled with jagged cuts like he went searching for fish in a shark’s mouth.

He didn’t seem to noice the pain or the blood. His arms wrap around you and he makes a pitiful noise. It’s that toad like chirp he does when he’s sleepy and upset. His face buried into the crook of your neck and he sunk to his knees. You are forced to sink down with him. Not that you mind all that much. You live to be his now.

“Okay? Mine? My okay?” Jiraiya asked you. His brain reverts back to his basic speech when he’s drugged.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry I had to go.” You coo at him. He is very child like when he’s stoned out of his tree and you tend to speak to him like he’s five. He’s clinging onto you for security.

“Why go?”

“They had to check on my health.”

“Why?” Jiraiya sat up to look at you. He’s clearly scared. “Hurt? Why hurt? I hurt?”

“Shh.” You hush him and hold his cheeks. His eyes are wide and have a frantic expression to them as they look you over for wounds. “I’m perfectly fine. Let’s just go to the den.”

He nods and began to crawl towards the security of the underground home. You crawl in after him. Jiraiya immediately snuggles right up to you. He chirps again in a sleepier note. It’s very hard not to just melt in his arms. But he needs some medical attention. Why the scientists didn’t patch him up is unknown and worrisome. Don’t they care? Isn’t he their star subject? You rip strips off of your robe and try not to think about it.

You pet his hair to soothe him as you treat his wounds, using the strips you made to clean and dress his cuts. Which only comforts him more into sleeping the drugs off. He’s very easy to make happy. He likes being touched and talked to when he’s under the influence of the tranquilizer. He’s been shot a few times the first few weeks for his violent outbursts at clawing the walls and even attacking one of the scientists when they came into the enclosure. It helps when he wakes up to you petting his head and assuring him he’s fine. Those little keens he does in his drugged up sleep are heartbreaking. It’s like when a dog has a dream and they yip and twitch in their sleep. You just wanna pick him up and hold him as he’s stuck in that uncomfortable twilight of consciousness and unconsciousness.

A few pieces of glass poked through his bloody cuts. You had to pinch some of the wounds to squeeze out the foreign material from his flesh. It caused more little keens to come from his sleepy haze. Just what did he do? A question for later. You wrap his arm up with the makeshift bandages you made. You got too much to worry about at this current moment.

As suspected, you aren’t just paranoid. You are pregnant. The scientists noticed you were late as well. They escorted you out with armed guards pointing guns at you, so it’s not like you had a choice. A young girl with red hair, glasses, and a strict frown took some blood and ran tests. The results didn’t really surprise you, but it filled you with dread. Without a doubt Orochimaru is celebrating. One of the lab assistants said something about you being the first successful incubator to an abnormality’s spawn. So this is all new territory for them too. To them, this is a breakthrough in their work. It sucks being the milestone for these twisted bastards.

It’s all the unknowns that are worrying. So you are compatible enough to carry Jiraiya’s baby, but who knows for how long. Will the baby hurt you? Will they even live? Will you even live? You’ve been assured that some of the country’s top doctors are working here and they take your health very seriously. Not that it’s much of a comfort.

What will happen when you have the baby? Will they leave them with their parents? Or take them? Will they even survive? Surely Orochimaru will want to run some experiments. Which is scary. You don’t want your baby to be taken from you. No mother does.

The only choice you have is to take it day by day. To live with the unknowns and just... deal with it. It’s scary, but least you aren’t dealing with it totally alone.

When Jiraiya was sober and awake, you told him. It took a few tries. He didn’t understand a few words still. The word pregnant didn’t mean anything to him. That is until you made him understand. What finally worked was taking his hand and putting it against your belly.

“Baby. Your baby.” You told him slowly so he caught every word.

The puppy like, childish curiosity finally changed to understanding. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. His mate his having his baby. Well... if Jiraiya was protective before... he’s on a whole new level now. He’ll make sure the white coats fear him enough to never touch you or take you away. This is his territory. With his pregnant mate inside of it for him to protect. He’ll leave piled bodies all around the entrance and the window if that’s what it takes to convince his captors to leave him and you alone. He pulled you against him in a tight hug and promised you one thing.

“No one will ever spilt up our family.”

You broke down into tears. The stress of this whole situation has finally caught up to you. You hold onto your wonderful cryptid and sob into his chest. Jiraiya contently holds you while you cry. He spends the whole day with you in the den, ignoring the sirens and speakerphone voices demanding he gets out for them to observe. At one point he did leave just to fetch his robe and put it on you. He’s been naked his whole life, so what does he care if he’s deprived of one soft layer. Clearly his mate needs to be warmer than his cold blooded body can provide. Plus you sacrificed your robe to help him. His wounds are better with your care and you need it more than him.

He paid another visit to the window. It’s still smeared with his blood. No one is there that he can see aside from his own reflection. It looks like how it did before he broke it in an attempt to harm his warden. Poking it did confirm that he wasn’t totally crazy when he was under the influence of the metal mosquito’s venom.

It is different. Warmer. Stiffer. When poked it had more give. It sounded different when he pushed it. Even more different when he tried to scratch it. It’ll be tougher to break through this.

A challenge. The white coats are taking him seriously now. They underestimated him and it led to a breach. No matter. If they ever did take you or his child away, he’d find away to break through. He’ll slash apart that thin pale man behind the frame as if made from blades of grass.

Leave it. For now. Breaking this window will only get replaced with a stronger window. It won’t do any good to have a window he can’t break. If another threat rises, he needs to have a window he can shatter like he had the first time.

Jiraiya spends a few days doing only night hunting just to spite them. These people don’t need to see him. They took you away. He brought home enough fish to feed you and him for a week. He told you he didn’t want you to leave the den. He’d bring you everything. He pushed the food towards you with the expectation for you to eat it all. He even tried cooking it over a fire outside of the den. They were burnt, but it’s the thought that counts. It all comes from a place of slightly misguided love. He expects you to eat more since you are having his baby.

“You must be twice as hungry with another person in you to feed!” He thought it was quite logical.

“Aw... come here.” You hold your arms out and crawl towards him on your knees.

Jiraiya pouts a little as he knows that’s the tone you use when he does something incorrectly but well intentioned. He hugs you anyways, even if you are making fun of him a little bit. You pet his hair and inform him that it’s not that simple.

Despite how hard this situation is, you at least got Jiraiya. Your beloved cryptid is here to support you and take care of you. He’s going to make a good father even if he has no clue what exactly is happening. His instincts about this whole situation hasn’t steered him wrong yet. You are at ease knowing he won’t let anything bad happen to you. All that can be done is let time run it’s course.

Let’s just hope it runs in your favour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwww snap, the crazy pale dude is at it again! Idk if I will continue this, unless you all want it to. Idk if you guys want the mysterious ending or something more as I have posed many questions with no answers in this one. Questions I feel are both appropriate and fun to ponder! 
> 
> Please tune back in on Wednesday night for that fluffy cute birthday chapter! It’s real cute, y’all gonna love it.


	57. Happy Birthday!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first attempt to make Jiraiya like his birthday went.... not the greatest. But all your attempts since then have gone much better!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to a god damn legend. Without whom, our nerdy asses would be without obsession and appreciation for all the quality life lessons.

With your finger to your lips, you hush the crowd. It was funny how adults can get excited like children. Each one a high ranking ninja who has been to war, but they are crouched behind the furniture giggling like giddy ten year olds. All their gazed at fixed on the door. You are as well. A growing anxiety and excitement swirling inside of you.

The door opens and the light flicks on. As soon as it does, everyone stands to shout.

“Surprise!” The crowd cheers.

Jiraiya looks completely taken aback. Standing in the doorway of his apartment to see a crowd of his friends there to greet him. All of them in swim wear or summer clothes. The temperature in the apartment was hot. A bit odd since it was the middle of winter. You come trotting forward, a lei in hand to place around his neck.

“Happy birthday.” You say at a normal volume.

“You did this?” He asks.

“Er yeah.”

“You know I told you I don’t like my birthday.”

“All the more reason to have a party. Come on, your friends want to celebrate with you.”

He lets you drag him inside. He considered just turning around and going back into the blizzard. But he didn’t want to upset you. He forces a smile, not wanting to be rude to the guests. You push him into his room and tell him to change. He’ll die in his uniform. A tropical birthday theme seemed like a great idea. He’s born in the middle of November, he’s already sick of snow. So why not pay an extra amount on the heating bill and sip piña coladas and pretend it’s summer? Plus he would be more inclined to celebrate if all his girl friends are wearing bikinis. Maybe he’ll actually get a girlfriend.

Being his roommate meant knowing a few details of his life most don’t. Like the fact that he takes girls home and set them free the next day. None have ever stuck around. Well except for you as he says. But you don’t count.... even if you do like him. So you got a bit of a crush on him! Nothing you can’t handle.

The idea of becoming roommates was something that kinda just worked out. Your old roommate got married and moved out to live with her wife. You needed a new roommate to balance the living costs. Everything has gone up in price since the war was ending. Fate had it happen that you met Jiraiya again. You were friends with him as children. Being in the same class in the academy meant always seeing him. But he got put on a different team than you after graduating and the relationship kinda fell apart. It happens no big deal. But seeing him again as a man had certainly threw you through a loop. He’s grown into a fine young man. Attractive and charming. He told you he needed a place to live as he’s lost money after the war ended, his book didn’t sell after investing almost all his savings into publishing it, and he couldn’t afford his current place. He was stuck in the village for a while to train his own genin team. It worked out perfect. Who knew it would take an economic downfall to reunite you with your old friend!

But it’s weird. You don’t want to ask him out. He’s the only friend you have. You lost the rest in the war. You’ve become friendly with his other friends, but nothing like what you had with your old group. It’s why you want to throw him a party. Something fun! He should have fun. Maybe find someone to be with.

Jiraiya came back out wearing the outfit you set out on his bed. A pair of red shorts with a cheesy floral shirt suited for a beachside vacation. His expression wasn’t all that vacation looking. He begrudgingly flopped down onto the couch. You hand him a drink. Platters of food are on the table before him so he’s good to pick at what he wants. Why he doesn’t like his birthday is a mystery. He hadn’t told you. Just that each one had sucked. You wanted to change that. So this idea came to mind.

He looks you over slowly while sipping on his fruity drink. It wasn’t really anger. Just a mix of exhaustion and something else you can’t really place.

“You look nice.” He finally said.

“Thanks.” You say with a smile. “It was hard to find a swimsuit in the middle of November.”

“I was just thinking I never saw that in your drawer before.”

You gape at him. Perv. Has he really sifted through your underwear drawer? You wouldn’t put it past him. You hit him lightly on the arm. For the first time tonight he grins. The straw still in his mouth as he does so.

He sits up and looks over the food. He’s had a long day with not enough to eat. It seems you made some of his favourites. He grazes over the choices, popping pieces into his mouth from platter to mouth. You hit him again.

“Grab a plate! It’s flu season!”

“Must you scold me?”

“Only when you behave like a child.”

He stuck his tongue out at you. He grabs another mouthful before following your advice. He loads up a plate and sinks down to enjoy himself. Just layback and enjoy it. At least he doesn’t have to do anything.

“How’s your team?” You ask.

“Fine. One of them is really growing on me.”

“That blond one right? You’ve mentioned him a few times.”

“Yeah. He’s a clever boy. Incredibly sweet too.”

You raise a brow. You lean back into the couch. With his both his hands occupied, you can easily steal a snack from his plate. He looks offended that you would snag it right from him.

“Don’t corrupt that boy. We need more sweetness in the world.” You say after you finish eating his snack.

“What? I’m pretty sweet aren’t I?” He shifts closer to you and grins. “Or am I getting confused and that’s you?”

“I think you need more food than alcohol.”

You pull the drink away from his lips. You’re blushing. You know you are. It’s just cuz it’s hot in here. Most certainly not because he called you sweet. Jiraiya looks at you for a while. He too is blushing. Probably from downing his alcohol on an empty stomach.

“If you want me to enjoy my birthday than I need more alcohol.” He said with a cheeky grin.

You roll your eyes and get up, grabbing his cup from him. You head to the kitchen to fill his cup. It is his birthday. If he wants to sit on the couch and get blasted then let him. He’s not as grumpy as you thought he would be. He was venomous when you found out when his birthday was. He clearly hates it.

It’s weird to think that anyone could hate their birthday. It is always something that’s fun. From having sugar high parties as children to getting drunk as an adult, there’s always something fun to do. Maybe he never had fun things to do? Or maybe he parents were strict? It’s hard to imagine Jiraiya of all people to have wet blankets for parents. He’s so much fun on his own he must have had at least one fun birthday! Or maybe something happens each time he tried to have a birthday? Bad luck or something. Like the cake falling to the ground before he could blow out the candles.

As you ponder what could make a man hate his birthday, you make more drinks. Using the blender to blitz up the slushy mix with alcohol. You pour the mix into a set of cups that have been set beside you. Apparently more people wanted drinks. You fill the birthday boy’s cup first before doing anyone else’s.

Maybe it’s simply getting older. How old is Jiraiya? He’s probably only a few months or so older than you. So this year would make him twenty eight. That’s not old or anything. He’s got a whole life ahead of him. Something tells you that he wants more. A family maybe. He tells you all the time that he’s lonely. It only tempts you more to want to lean in and confess with a kiss. Maybe you could. Make one of his birthdays something good.

Recently he’s been giving you the impression that he likes you like that too. When he can, Jiraiya takes the opportunity to kiss your cheek or touch you in some way. The arm. Back. Running his fingers through your hair before bidding you goodnight or goodbye. You tend to be receptive of it. Leaning into his touch or running your fingers on and through things on him. It’s so fun to be around him. Even if he does like to walk in on you when you shower. One time you invited him in and he freaked out, turning red and sputtered as he retreated out of the bathroom. He loves teasing you, but is such a mess when you tease him back. It was a cute quality of his that never failed to make you smile.

With confidence you garnish the drink with a paper umbrella and a cocktail cherry. Okay. Why not? Ask your roommate out. Tell him how you feel. You know he feels the same. You round the corner holding the drink, ready to hand it off. Then you pause. You stop completely.

One of the girls you invited is sitting on the couch where you were once sitting. It wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t all over Jiraiya. He was receptive to it. Happy to have this girl flirting with him. Her hand dancing along his chest as she was practically on his lap. He was all smiles. Leaning into her and stroking her arm to encourage her to keep touching him.

Oh... okay. Maybe you were a little overzealous. Jiraiya likes touching girls regardless of who they are. You’ve caught him snooping through your stuff when he just moved in then bring a date home a few hours later. Sheesh. Maybe you’re just dumb. You’re surrounded by pretty girls in swimsuits getting sweaty. You thought wrong that maybe you could fix his lonely problems. Get him a girl. Sure that’ll be fine. While you’re at it admit to yourself that just finding him pretty is not all what you feel for him. Life is so frustrating and you feel foolish.

Fine... Good for him. Maybe this one’ll stick. You turn back around and grab the blender, which had about a half of the mix left. Someone didn’t get their refill either. You pour both that drink and Jiraiya’s drink back into the blender, grab a straw and stride off into your bedroom. Maybe it’s rude, but the guests are here for the birthday boy not you. He’s in a better mood now that he’s got a girl all over him... it’s just not you.

You sit on your bed and sip at the drink. It’s good. Sweet but sharp with that bite of alcohol. You aren’t really sure what you want to do. Just sorta be alone. You curl up with the drink and sorta chill out. For some reason, it does make you sleepy. Perhaps it’s simply the stress of seeing someone you like get away....

Where the heck are you? Jiraiya peers around the girl he’s talking to towards the kitchen. You’re taking a long time. Something weird flutters in his stomach. Something always goes wrong on his birthday. Both of small and colossal proportions. Each year was different. Did you cut your hand off? Or slip? Why is he so worried? You’re a capable woman. But he’s uneasy all the same.

“Would you excuse me?” He said as he gently lifted the young lady’s leg off of his lap.

She was a little disappointed that he’s walking away. She was okay company, but he missed yours. You’re more fun to talk to. You know him better. It’s just easier than mingling with people he knows but not all that close with. You understand him about certain things that these people don’t. There’s no one he likes in the kitchen. A couple of people mingling and talking. Someone mentioned that someone else stole the blender full of drink. Rude but relatable.

Hm. Peculiar. He leaves the kitchen to stand in the living room. His acquaintance came back to his side, asking if she can see his bedroom. She did so with a flirty wink and bite of her lip.

“Uh... I have to find someone.” He announces with some fluster, pushing the woman away from him with a gentle shove.

She pouts but let’s him go. Jiraiya peeks around a few corners. He opens the bathroom door and had a bar of soap thrown at him. The woman on the other side, pretty but not you. Did you go to bed? It’s like six. But you’ve done stranger things. He opens your door, careful to be quiet. If you had hooked up with someone... well it would suck. It would hurt to see you in the arms of a different man. Why his first instincts go there he’s not sure. He just likes you. More than he realizes.

Ah. You’re alone. Arm thrown over your eyes and the blender in your arm empty of its contents. You are adamant about two things when it comes to drinking. You aren’t a light weight and you aren’t a sleepy drunk. Both are completely untrue. You’re a one tequila shot then bed kind of girl. Dangerous in the wrong company. Luckily, you have him to look out for you. He wasn’t having the best time anyways. He didn’t like crowds, even if these people are his friends. He shut the door behind him and crawled in beside you.

“What’s up, sleepyhead?” Jiraiya asks as he flopped down beside you.

“Hmm... I’m mad at you.” You grumble.

“Why are you mad at me?”

You toss the heavy blender to the floor and roll over to lay your head on his chest. Half your body slumps over top his with your leg thrown over his. You’re also a very cuddly drunk.

“That woman got to you before I could.” You mumble. “I was gonna tell you how much I like you.”

“How much do you like me?” Now he’s curious.

“Like a whole lot. I may even like... love like you.” You adjust yourself until you decide you’re comfortable. You bury your face into the crook of his neck. “But I totally blew it, didn’t I?”

“Oh I don’t know.” Jiraiya said with a shrug. It’s hard to grin. You do like him. And you confessed while sloppy drunk. He pulled you into a hug to which you give a groggy hum. “I think your chances are pretty good.”

“Hmm...” You hum again and reach up to pet his head. His hair is soft. “Why don’t you like your birthday?”

“No big reason. I just don’t like celebrating it.” He explains. He turns his head to nuzzle his cheek against yours. “Something always bad happens.”

“Bad how?”

“I don’t know. My parents never celebrated it because of the date. My friends always forgot. Sometimes someone dies. Other times I’m alone. I don’t like bringing attention to something people forget... I don’t know why... it just always hurt.”

“...” You remain quiet for a few moments. You continue to run your fingers through his hair. It always seemed to calm him. “I remembered.”

“You did.” He confirms. It did feel nice. Someone cared. “You’ve officially thrown me my third ever birthday party!”

“Only your third?” You sit up and look at him. “You look at least twenty something to me.”

He laughs at your joke. He touches you without thinking. Stroking your face and admiring it. It’d be nice to kiss. Not just your face but your lips. Finding you again after so many years was wonderful. He didn’t expect to find such close companionship so quickly in you. You stare at him as he stares at you. Eyes searching for the same thing.

Drunk you is more brazen as well. Leaning down to kiss him before he could stop you. He gently pulled you back.

“Hn.. Kiss me again.” You whisper.

“No. That’s not a good idea.”

“Why not? I thought you liked me.”

“I do.” Jiraiya clarifies. He gently pushes you away when you leaned back in. “But you’re drunk. I’d rather we do this in the morning.”

You pout. Slowly your heavy feeling head rests back on his chest. Your eyes close. Maybe he’s right. You’re tired. A nap sounds good. You successfully trap him under you. He has no choice but to lay with you. His hand mindlessly plays with your hair or along your shoulder in a random pattern. Well... that wasn’t so bad. Maybe this is the lucky birthday. It took its sweet ass time getting here. He gets comfortable. This is fine. Cuddling with you was rather nice. It warms him more than the cranked up radiator.

...

The warmth of a body pressed against you wasn’t alarming. It was nice. Toasty. You don’t remember picking up a man at the party but it’s not totally out of the question. You can be a bit of a clingy drunk. In your sorrow you could’ve clung onto one of the men you invited and taken him to bed to feel better. You sleepily drag your hand around their body. Up slowly until you meet their face. It’s manly. Soft. With thick lovely hair that you enjoy putting your fingers through. It’s familiar.

Opening your eyes took a moment. You’re sleepy and slow from the hangover. A slight pulse of pain bursts across your head. Great. A headache too. You raise your gaze and your heart drops. Heat covers your cheeks. Why is Jiraiya in your bed? He’s so close.

You eep and escape from his grasp. You roll out of bed and immediately check yourself. You still have on your swimsuit. You look at him. He’s still dressed, but why is he in your bed? He’s never slept in your bed before. Both you and him are dressed at least so you know nothing too... touchy happened. You scoot out of the room. Not that the sight was any better. 

Your company were messy people. Cups and snacks on the floor. Cold and long abandoned things that couldn’t make it to the bin apparently. At least they didn’t burn the place down while you and Jiraiya slept. Someone was nice enough to turn down the heat. It was chilly to wander into the living room in just your swimsuit. It somehow both helps and worsens your pounding head.

A coffee with some good breakfast will set you right. You hurry to the kitchen to get yourself started. You make the coffee first. The machine designed to do so hissing like an old steam boat. God that is loud. Honestly hangovers are the worst. Plus you are freaked out. Your best friend and roommate was in your bed all cuddly with you. Why was he in your bed? What did you do with him? That’s the worst part about getting drunk at a party. At least no one did anything too stupid. They all cleared out before you got up at least. There’s no other hungover adults you gotta baby and send off to their own homes.

A pair of nice warm hands touch your hips. It’s followed by a body pressing against your back. Gentle kisses are laid on your neck.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” Jiraiya’s deep sleepy husky voice greets you.

You sigh. It does feel nice. His lips are touching you. It’s soft and affectionate. Did you step into an alternate reality where he likes you back?

“What happened last night?” You ask.

“Good things.” He answers. He stole your coffee right from your hand to drink it. A bit of justified revenge for being a food snatcher. “You told me you like me more than just a friend.”

As he spoke, his hand moved your hair away from your neck to place more kisses on your skin. It’s wet and warm. It’s now coffee scented. It’s good. Almost good enough to forget what he said. You turn around slowly to meet him face to face.

“Did I really? Was it a good confession?”

“It was...” He shrugs. “Meh.”

Your first instinct to whack him. You hit his arm then hide your face. He just had to tease you didn’t he? He chuckles before finding a crack in your hands to kiss the tip of your nose.

“Sorry, it was a good confession.”

“What about that girl you were with?”

You look between the cracks of your fingers as you await his answer. Jiraiya shrugs.

“She was fun to talk to, cute too, but I was thinking about you when I was talking to her. So I figured,” he pauses again. His hand grabs your hip and pulls you towards him. “I should be talking to you instead.”

“Was I a mess?”

He smirks. You puff your cheeks out in a pout. He had no need to say it. You lean back into the counter. He follows so he’s never away from you. He’s mighty close to you, unafraid of how close he really was. Drunkenly confessing your feelings was far from the plan. It’s not that romantic. But he didn’t seem to mind all that much. You relax a little as he touches you. Gentle touches. Along your sides and back. He seems hesitant to go beyond that to your ass or chest. His expression is curious. Probably to your thoughts.

“Did we kiss?”

“Just a little. I didn’t want to do anything while you were drunk.”

“What a gentleman.” You compliment with some sarcasm.

“I try my best.” He was happy to be just as teasing in his reply. 

Both you and Jiraiya share a laugh. You drop your hands from your face to do something else instead. You return the soft touches, stroking his arms and sides. Since he’s still wearing that cheesy floral shirt and he never bothered to button it, you can easily touch his bare skin. He really has grown into a fine man. It’s a shame it took so many years to reconnect with him. Maybe if you had stayed friends with him then you’d be in a relationship with him already. This isn’t bad either. There’s just a weird looming sense of lost time that lingers in your head. At least it’s happening now. The opportunity hadn’t passed you by. Maybe it’s just the hangover making you slightly pessimistic. There’s one thing that’ll make you feel better.

“Could you kiss me again?” You ask. It’d be nice to know what it was like.

His shoulders move with a bemused snort. That sounds like an idea he can get behind. He reached for your face and his fingers are almost ghostly on your cheek, as if a little scared to get this intimate. Like you have in the past, you lean into it. Connecting with his eyes again, you become lost in them. They’re affectionate and searching. Yours are reflecting the same. His thumb strokes over your cheek.

It’s hardly how movies or books describe a first kiss. There’s a weird tension and expectation in the air. Hardly anything ever goes right for either you or him. You flinch when Jiraiya went in a little too abrasive. It wasn’t much of a soft touch as it was a mush of lips. He muttered an apology before trying again. Even then you angled your head the same way he did. You fix your head the other way. At the same time so did he.

“Heh. Stay still.” Jiraiya whispers.

He held your face with both hands to keep it in place. You shut your eyes just before his lips connect with yours. Now that’s a good kiss. Soft but not too soft. Reactive to you when you move your lips. It breaks slowly, with both you and him leaning back.

“How was that?” He asks.

“Good. I... I liked that.”

“I liked that too.”

A light blush is on his cheeks. His smile is bashful. It’s actually really cute on him. He’s hardly ever timid like this. Nothing has ever tickled him pink like this. He’s giddy to hold your hands and stand close to you.

“Oh!” You say as you remember something. “I made you a cake!”

“Cake?”

“Well duh! A person needs cake on their birthday!”

You escape his grasp to the fridge. You open it and your heart drops a little. Well... at least they saved a piece of it. The board you used to hold the cake was empty aside from a single wonky thin slice of cake. You grab it and present it anyways.

“Uh, happy birthday.” You say with some uncertainty.

He chuckles and takes it from you. It was a simple confetti cake with white frosting. No one has ever made a cake for him. But his chronic bad birthday luck struck again as there’s not a decent amount of cake to cut the slice in half and share. There’s hardly anything there. But it’s cake. He fishes out a fork from the drawer beside him and uses it to take a bite. He was never a big fan of sweets, but this ain’t bad. The next forkful he offers to you.

“It’s no fair that you didn’t get any either.” He justifies as he pushes it towards you.

You accept the bite. It was nice. Sharing cake and coffee with someone you love. The simplicity of it was a perfect way to start this relationship. To him, it was the best birthday gift he’s gotten in a decade.

From then on Jiraiya’s birthdays always seemed to hold something special. You and him ditched the parties to opt for being together. While your first attempt to make him like his birthday was mostly a success, he’d rather have a quiet dinner with only a few people who love him. His team and you. He didn’t like to be given gifts, not material ones anyways. Yet you and Minato tend to conspire to get him something. He’s always so surprised and flattered when presented with a box all wrapped up for him to rip into. He almost had a childlike eagerness when he tore into the gifts, but kept his disposition of annoyance like it was a chore to be given things. He secretly loves it, he just didn’t want to admit it.

He proposed to you on his birthday. After three years and having that talk about how good the relationship was going, he figured that the anniversary of getting together with you was a pretty darn romantic day to ask. Plus he got to use the cheesy line of “Will you give me the best gift in the world?” How could you refuse that? And while the wedding wasn’t on his birthday, it was in winter. It was strikingly similar to his birthday. With only a few friends to celebrate the day while the snowfall seemed to welcome the union in its soft embrace. There was no one in the world you would freeze your ass off for in a dress other than Jiraiya. He was freezing too, but couldn’t care less. The numb fingers and cold toes was worth it for the wonderful experience of celebrating in the season that is known for it’s warmth and love for others.

The marriage life was something he really enjoyed. You did too, but it was agreed that there was something missing. The subject of children was something you and him once lamented to one another about having before getting together. He was a little scared to be a father, you were unsure on how to be a mother. But it’s something you and him can learn together.

Not many fathers can say they share their birthday with their child. Shura was the best gift you ever gotten him. He had to rush to the hospital, having had been out on a mission he couldn’t get out of. He missed his son being born, but you didn’t care. You smiled at him, tired and sore, but elated in your hospital bed. You presented the baby to him with an excited “Happy Birthday!”

Some years later and the birthday tradition has changed a little. It was still a small dinner with friends. Jiraiya is holding his boy tightly in his lap, rocking the child lovingly to a soft rhythm. The five year old is all to happy to be cradled there. His grin big as he sat in his father’s lap with his little fingers gripping the edge of the table. His white hair pulled into a stubby ponytail at the top of his head. It was already loose and falling out strand by strand with each movement. He didn’t seem to care. His large black eyes are sparkling with joy as you approach holding a candlelit birthday cake. You set the cake down in front of your family listening and singing along with them in that iconic song, only with a twist.

“Happy birthday dear,” Jiraiya pauses and looks down at his son. “Shura!”

“Daddy!” The boy sings in response.

“Happy birthday to you!” Everyone happily finish together.

They both blow out the candles atop the cake. Since Shura still had to stand to reach the top of the cake, Jiraiya held his waist to make sure he didn't land head first into the frosting. Not that Shura would mind diving into his birthday cake face first, it was more the mess and having to clean it. Jiraiya gave him a kiss on the cheek before setting him back to his original seat.

There’s cheering and clapping from you and your guests as the birthday boys make their wishes. You cut the cake and dish it out. Big generous slices for your guests and yourself, that first year still sometimes comes back to remind you that good cake needs good portions.

The guest list is still small. With Minato and Kushina, now young adults, being the only real company your family enjoys. They both continue to be awesome people that you and Jiraiya both care for dearly. The birthdays wouldn’t be the same without them here to celebrate. 

Shura seemed to prefer to have this as a family thing for now. When asked if he wanted to invite his friends from school, he refused. The school year is still young, so he doesn’t know his classmates that well. He’s a rather shy boy and finds that making friends are harder than it looks. Luckily he’s at that age where handing him a crayon will start a friendship that could last a lifetime. Maybe next year the house will be filled with excited children ready to participate in cake eating and games.

Jiraiya preferred to have the focus mainly on his child. Having the candles to Shura’s age and the presents be for his little one. He didn’t mind. He’d rather the attention be on Shura over him. Just having a family was a good enough gift. Celebrating with the people he loves is all he ever really wanted. It’s perfectly fine to eat cake and kinda just... savour the moment. His wife. His friends. His kid. That’s all well and dandy for his birthday. He no longer dreads the day as he once did. Shura gets so excited for it that it’s hard to view it in a negative light anymore. The little guy was shrieking withjoy when he opened his gift, which was a training set of throwing weapons. They’re duller and lighter than real ones. Perfect for a ninja in training. Then again, he put a few dents in the wall from giving them a test run. You caught it too late and had to kindly tell him that is an outside activity. Oh the joys of children. 

The night ends early for Shura. He’s still little after all. He only made it to about seven thirty before pulling on your sleeve and yawning. You tend to push back his bedtime when it’s his birthday, he hardly ever makes it past his original bedtime of seven. He’s a good boy that listens to you when you tell him to brush his teeth before getting him changed and put to bed with only needing a kiss goodnight to lull him to sleep. He’s tuckered out from all the activity he partook in.

The rest of the night is usually drinking with your now adult guests and chatting. This year’s gift from them was a bottle of wine, one that matched Jiraiya’s age. He was slightly offended, but it was too tasty really dwell on it. They both aren’t late night type of people and leave by ten thirty, with leftovers wrapped up for them to eat later in hand. Both happily wish Jiraiya one last happy birthday before going home. You yawn after he closes the door.

“Are you tired already?” Jiraiya asks.

“A little. I had two glasses of wine.” You answer with another yawn. That stuff knocks you on your ass.

“But what about my gift?” He asks in a fake whine, looking at you in that gawk he does when he’s joking around.

You smile at him with a raised sarcastic brow as he holds you against him. His hand on your hip as he looks you over, awaiting your answer. You place your hands on his shoulders and raise yourself on your toes to give him a kiss. He meets you half way, bending to that slight angle in order to do so.

“I didn’t get you anything this year.” You said. His face falls to a pout. Only then did you place a finger on your chin like you were searching your thoughts. “Or did I leave something under the bed for me to wear and you to enjoy?”

His face lights up with excitement. He scoops you up and carries you to the master, taking care to tip toe past Shura’s room as to not awaken his kid. He set you down impatiently as soon as the bedroom door was closed. Like a nosy child on Christmas he hit the floor and dragged his hand under the bed in search of something. As he does, you start to take off your dress.

“Ah ha!” He shouts in victory as he slides out a wide flat box with a ribbon on it. He opens it, only to pause. It’s empty.

“Or am I already wearing it?” You spoke again in that pondering tone.

Jiraiya is facing away from you, but it’s easy to know he’s smiling. He turns around slowly to reveal he is grinning almost sinister like as he stares at you. The lingerie you got was to his taste. That classic babydoll style with delicate lace patterns. Complete with garter and thigh highs.

“My my. What a gift you got me.” He said as he crawls on all fours towards you. “I hope you’ll let me enjoy it all night.”

Once at your feet, he runs his hands up your legs. The feeling of the silky material on his hands only gets him more excited. You push his bangs away from his face, sighing quietly as he kisses your belly right above your panties.

“Of course I will. I’ve been thinking about it all night.” You reply.

That grin on his face only got bigger. He slowly rose to his feet with his hands continuously dragging up your body. You tilt your head up to smile at him as his hands began to rub circles into your lower back. It’s something he does when he’s contemplating on what he’ll do first. You press your hands on his chest and slowly raise them up until they cradle his neck. You pull him down for a kiss, which he’s happy to participate in.

“Happy birthday, baby.” You whisper.

“Thanks, sexy. Whatever shall you do to top next year?”

You only smile, which annoys him. Jiraiya is the type who likes to know everything. It’s why he hates surprises like presents. This however he can get behind... or on top. Any angle he’s down for. He snorts before kissing you again. Maybe next year he’ll buy something for you and him to use. His hands slip under the fabric of the underwear to grab your ass.

Like every birthday he’s had since he got together with you, it ends well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk I wanted to do something simple and cute. A little inspiration from real life as my current bf got blitzed at a party I hosted and confessed he liked me lol. As for later birthdays for dear Jiraiya and reader, I kinda imagine it becoming really simple. A cupcake with a candle stuck in it and quality time together. Especially when it happens on Remembrance Day, I imagine he’d spend some time paying some respects to his friends he lost but has reader to comfort him... and give him cake. And sexy times. Hope you all enjoy this special b day post. Back to regular scheduling next week. By the looks of it(aka what my brain is focusing on rn), it might be something a bit more wholesome.


	58. Snow Top Mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same universe as Good News During Hard Times!  
> It rarely snows on Mount Myōboku. When it does, it just happens that you, Jiraiya, and your children are there to witness it. Unfortunately... it’s hard to really appreciate it with a fussy toddler and a little girl trying learning to hold weapons. Needless to say parenthood can be stressful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some wholesome family stuff, with a lil sexy. I haven’t written a family chapter in a while and the crappy winter of my region hit hard so a pick me up is in order. Hope you guys enjoy!

Slowly his eyes shut. For a moment. Just for a moment. The wind had stopped blowing and a hint of warmth soaked back in. The wash of heat from his nose that came with exhaling wasn’t so strong. It’s so quiet out. It’s peaceful. With all his layers on he could just relax and fall asleep.

“Papa.” A familiar little voice calls his attention.

Jiraiya inhales deeply. Come on, kid! He just sent his little girl away to go learn a new skill. He’s perched not so far away to watch her. Or was... the opportunity to smoke presented itself and he hadn’t indulged in the habit in years. It’s only been an hour tops! She’s clever but not that clever.

“Papa!” She was more insistent.

With a slow exhale, Jiraiya opens his eyes. Once the smoke clears, his eyes are met with the white sky. Flakes of snow are falling down in his vision. Caressing his cheeks and sticking to his eyelashes. He slowly lowers his head. Hayami is standing in front of him, holding her hand in a peculiar way.

Worry built in his body. Like a hand squeezing his esophagus as he realizes his child is bleeding. She has on a strong face. She’s not crying or shaking, just looks concerned. Her brows furrowed as she processes the new sensation of a wound. Blood seeps through her fingers as she braces her hand with her other. Drops are falling and staining the snow at her feet.

Oh god. His baby! He slid down from his perch, one of the large almost fairy like mushrooms that naturally grow around the mountain. He threw his pipe away without care, it landed and immediately got lost in the growing blankets of snow. You don’t like the smell of it and he didn’t like doing it around his kids. With a promise of cookies, Hayami wouldn’t tattle on him. A day of training was the perfect time to indulge in his bad habit. His child was away from it and the open cold air was nicely offset by the earthy warmth of the tobacco.... It was nice while it lasted. Now his child is bleeding and he didn’t care about anything else.

“What happened, honey?” Jiraiya asks. He crouched down before her and gently pulled back her sleeve.

“I was practicing like you showed me and I made a mistake.” Hayami briefly explains. Her eyes are wide with concern. “I’m sorry, papa. I’ll do better next time.”

Since Hayami was now being trained as a ninja, Jiraiya has been trying to be less of a mama hen. He would still take a fireball to the face for her but he doesn’t hold on as tightly. She needs to grow. She needs to learn. Being tough on her will benefit her. It’s still hard to do. He loves her more than anything. She wasn’t so used to him being critical of her actions, but he had to be her teacher now as well as her father.

“Don’t sweat it, kiddo. I know you do your best.” He encourages her. He took a small peak at the wound and frowned. It’s no small cut. It’s rather large for her little hand. He undid the scarf that was around his neck and wrapped it around her hand instead. “Let’s go back to the house. That wound needs to be looked at properly.”

“Oh.” She’s not thrilled.

It’s understandable. Kana has been a nightmare the last few days. The newest arrival to the family was already over ten months old. With that age came the worst of teething and getting the hang of toddling. He’s been a terror. Crying his eyes out from the uncomfortable pain of growing teeth and stumbling around throwing tantrums as a result of the pain he can’t convey in any other way. You’ve been doing your best. Everyone has. Everyone was patient and calm in Kana’s presence since he’s also taken to imitating those around him. Even with his family being calm and positive, it does little to comfort his pains. These outings for training were the only moments of peace Hayami got from it all.

She’s been doing her best. Yet she’s also jealous. She’s a child, so of course she’s not going to be totally rational. She’s not the baby of the family anymore and knows that meant less attention. Along with being tougher on her for training purposes, she’s been a little down. She loved training since it was one on one time with her father. She does try her absolute best as to not disappointment him. Not that he could ever be disappointed in her. She’s a marvellous girl. Smart and quick on her feet. She just needs some guidance. Her strengths are already shining through. Close range with an eye for detail. She might be well suited as a strategist. A leader.

The journey to the house was quiet. Hayami putting on her bravest face as she clutched at her makeshift bandage. It was her first real injury. She’s tripped plenty of times or fallen out of trees, but recovered quickly as all young children do. It does worry him. Jiraiya continues to glance at her, checking for more wounds. It feels like more will simply pop out of her skin.

Getting closer to the house didn’t bolster anyone’s mood. The wails of a toddler muffled through the walls was hardly comforting. Kana is at it again. Hayami sighs quietly, even her nerves are getting worn down from it. Jiraiya opened the door for her and let’s Hayami walk in first. She cringes from the sound. The sight is just as bad as the sound.

Shima and Fukasaku had left the building long ago. They went out to search for food since the unusual winter hit. Snow and cold in Mount Myōboku was rare. They didn’t prepare for it. They were worried about the rationing since they were helping feed four more people. Jiraiya will usually help when he can. Taking in some of the vegetables and fungus he once collected when he was younger. He knew the resources of the mountain well enough. Of course it now feels unwelcome. Since well... grumpy children and exhausted adults don’t make good company.

It just felt a little tense. Strained. Both of the elderly toads insist they don’t mind. They love having their adoptive human family around. But if it’s starting to hurt their own health then it’s best to carry on. That was a conversation he yet has had with you. Best to save it for later. At least looking at the snow was beautiful. It’s been so long since he’s seen snow. Last time he did you and him were still child free.

You are frantic. A mess. Your hair tangled and clothing disheveled. You are holding Kana, pacing back and forth with the toddler while rocking it in an attempt to soothe the babe. You were offering a half frozen dish cloth for Kana to chew on to soothe his growing teeth. There were a few cloths that were stuck outside for this reason, but he wasn’t too interested in it. He kept looking at you and crying. His face bright red and stained with tears as a result.

“Come on, sweets. To the kitchen.” Jiraiya spoke in hushed tones as he gently pushed Hayami along.

She was staring at you, watching as you fail to soothe her younger sibling. It’s clear she didn’t like seeing you like that. No one really does. She trots on with little complaint to the kitchen. From here Jiraiya picked her up and set her on the wooden countertop right beside the sink. He crouched down and opened the cupboard underneath her feet to pull out the med kit. It was probably the same one from when he was a kid. It was old and worn, but opening it revealed that the contents inside were perfectly fine. He grabs what he needs and gets to work.

“Alright, let’s see that hand again.” He said as he gently began to unwrap the scarf from her hand. The mitten she had on had to be peeled off next. The knitted fabric was now torn open from the knife and clinging to her injury as it soaked up the blood.

She winced when the fabric pulled on her cut. It gave way with ease, with only a few loose strands to pull off of the edge of the wound. From there, Jiraiya could inspect it properly. It was a stab, but also a cut. The deepest point just under her pinky and it angled diagonally down and across her palm. He rinses it out before dabbing away more blood. It’s weird. He’s surprisingly more calm than he thought he would be at the sight of his child’s first real injury. Perhaps being sleep deprived has overtook his default mode to worry. Kana has kept everyone up with his crying.

“This stuff will probably sting a little, okay?” Jiraiya warns as he held up the bottle of hydrogen peroxide.

“Okay.”

Hayami clenched her eyes shut and her body tenses as she prepares for the worse. He sprays her hand down, watching as the bubbles form on the possible dirt and germs on her cut. She does cringe a little, but she’s a brave girl that never did complain much. He pats it dry with a clean gauze pad before grabbing the real roll of bandages.

“Tell me exactly what happened.” He wanted to know, but kept his tone soothing as to not freak her out. Plus talking about it will distract her as he finishes tending her wound.

“I was doing what you showed me, papa. Climbing a tree with no hands.” Hayami began her story. Her body relaxed and easier to work with now that she’s focused on her story. “I was using the knife you gave me to mark my progress when I fell again. But when I fell, I dropped the knife too. I tried to grab it while falling and grabbed the wrong side.”

“The wrong side, eh?” He can’t help but smile a little. Oh to be that uncoordinated. Kids panic and grab all the time. She at least tried her best to recover.

“Yeah... sorry, papa.”

“No need to apologize. Accidents happen.” Jiraiya looks up at her and smiles. He finishes tying off the bandage. “I know you gave it your all. You’re still new to all of this, no one expects you to get it the first time.” He pauses again to give her injury a kiss. She may be getting big, but kisses still fix boo boos. “I’m proud of you.”

She smiles at him. Perhaps her sleep deprivation has made her more sensitive. She’s usually more confident in herself. But with Kana around she does want to still have both his attention and approval. She slid off of the counter and wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug. He is more than happy to accept it. Maybe he is too tired. It choked him up a little.

“You worked hard today, Hayami. How about you go play in the snow?” He offered a suggestion. She needs to have fun when she can.

“Will you come out with me?” She asks with her well practiced puppy dog eyes and bright hopeful grin.

It feels terrible to say no. But you need his help. Kana was only gaining in volume. Slowly but surely his son was becoming a weather siren. Every toad on the mountain could probably hear the little guy.

“I’m sorry, honey. Mama needs my help with Kana.”

Her face does drop. She’s disappointed that he can’t spend more time with her. But all his family members need his attention. He kisses the top of her head and grabbed a the mitten from her spare set of mittens out from her bag and equipped her with the gear. Now set for a new winter adventure, she heads out. Her love of the weather overtook her disappointment and she quickly got absorbed in bellyflopping into snow piles.

Jiraiya takes a moment to rub his eyes before going to help you. Still the tired lingers on his lids. He pushes it back and focuses on what he has to do now, which is to be there for you. He turns around and approaches you, scooping Kana from your arms into his. The boy stopped for a moment, looking at his father with a pout before beginning to cry again.

“What’s up, drooly? You complaining lots today.” Jiraiya dives into speaking somewhat in that coddling tone everyone does to babies. He tosses his son into the air only a little... in your presence. He’s tossed Kana up a few feet before when you aren’t around to glare him down. The little guy loves to be tossed like a pizza, but the little bounces aren’t bad either. It quiets him down a little.

“I’ve tried everything... he’s just not having it.” You say quietly. You rest your head on his shoulder for a moment.

He looks you over. You look kinda terrible. Tired, messy, and stressed. He sways from side to side, lulling both you and Kana into a relaxed state. But Kana was still in pain from his teeth. He reaches for Jiraiya’s hair, wanting to munch on a lock for relief. He whines when it’s taken away from him. No one here wants to deal with a baby choking on hair.

“How about you go rest? Curl up under the blanket and relax. I’ll handle Kana for a while.” Jiraiya offers.

“Really?” You ask.

“Yeah, of course. I can handle a crabby baby.”

You smile. That does sound nice. You raise on your toes and purse your lips. He leans down and gives you a kiss. You pause after it broke. You lick your lips and hum. He tastes... ashy.

“Were you smoking?” You question with a frown.

“Um... I just had one bowl while Hayami was training.” He explains himself. You open your mouth but he cut you off. “She wasn’t around me when I was!”

You raise a brow. Okay... you believe him. He gave up the habit when Hayami was a baby but started up again when it got cold out. It’s not something you condone. He assures you he’s more of a social smoker or the occasional time when the mood strikes him. It could be worse. At least he’s not doing it for hours. You look around, looking for where your daughter was.

“Where is Hayami anyways? I saw you two come in.” You inquire her whereabouts.

“She’s out playing in the snow.”

“Snow? It’s snowing?”

He smiles and nods. It’s an easy thing to miss when you have a wailing child in your arms. Perhaps you saw it when grabbing a cold cloth but it didn’t register. Kana requires lots of attention. Even now he’s pulling at Jiraiya’s hair and shirt while whining for comfort. One more kiss to husband and baby then you’re off. Not until said husband pats your ass after you turn around.

He watches you leave, smirking and winking at you when you turned to look at him. As charming as you always are, you stuck your tongue out at him like in response. You went into the guest bedroom and shut the door. Even through the door, he heard you flop down and groan in satisfaction. Kana began to prod at Jiraiya’s face, his chubby slightly wet fingers poking at his papa’s cheek with a purpose.

“What’s up, baby?” Jiraiya sighs and looks at Kana. “You’ve been giving mama a tough time, haven’t you?”

“Bah... bahbah.” Kana neither confirmed nor denied that question. He smacks his lips and pressed his gums together. His whiny cries picked back up.

“It’s okay, drooly. We’ll fix you up.”

He traverses to the outside, baby in hand. Again Kana quieted down. His big dark eyes widening at the sight of snowfall. The gentle flakes have continued to fall at a consistent pace. The thin blanket had grown to a duvet. Hayami’s deep footprints are leading away from the house in leaps. Her silhouettes of her spread out figure in the snow repeated several times. A few scoops are missing and the snowballs made with those scoops have been thrown around in different places. Against the house. Some trees. Hm... snowballs.

Jiraiya crouches down and sets Kana on the ground. The babe squeals in surprise when the cold dirt touches his feet. He kept ahold of Jiraiya’s pant leg when those very secure hands had let him go. He watches as those hands reach out in front of him and scoops together a ball of snow. Jiraiya really makes sure it’s compact, using some strength to really squish the ball together. Can’t have the little guy work through it too quickly. He handed it to Kana, who took it with that wide wondering expression again. If Kana won’t take his other chew toys, perhaps the snow will do the trick.

The toddler began to gnaw on the snow. His cries of discomfort finally silenced. The snow has pleased the wailing boy. His sore gums now being numbed and soothed. Jiraiya lets out a quiet sigh of relief. He picked Kana up and turned his baby to face him. Luckily he grabbed the half thawed cloth from you when he took Kana. His son’s face is wet with tears, snot, and drool. Kana looks at him with curiosity while sucking on the snowball.

Kana, like a lot of babies, didn’t like being cleaned. Jiraiya has to hold him in place whilst wiping off those adorable chubby cheeks. The coldness of the cloth will help soothe the little guy’s red eyes. Kana shook his head when his papa wiped up his nose, hating that feeling the most. The drool can’t really be helped. Even now Kana is drooling while eating snow. It’s just a baby thing. He can at least wipe a bit off of Kana’s shirt and chin.

For some time Jiraiya sat with Kana. The eaves of the roof was keeping them both safe and dry. The body heat Jiraiya produced was enough to keep Kana warm so long as he sat in the space Jiraiya’s crossed legs made. Little hiccups come from Kana occasionally, but he was content. The relief the snow brought him had occupied him enough. Munching on it was taking up most of his focus. When he finally finished it, Jiraiya was ready with another one ready to replace it. Only he held it for a while this time, holding and massaging Kana’s cold little hands in his free hand. But Kana was one to want independence and snatched his hands away to hold his own homemade icicle.

Crying and fussing all the time tuckers a little guy out. Kana wouldn’t settle unless he was on his back in a cradle. It was harder now. Kana is getting too big for that. Jiraiya sucks it up, holding his son and patting the not so little baby’s back. It instantly soothes Kana, his eyes closing and body relaxing. His little hands still kept hold of his snowball, sipping on it like it was a bottle.

It won’t be much longer until Kana gets too big for this. It’s still... nice. Warm. It fulfills him to hold his children as they rest. He truly feels like their protector when they feel so safe in his arms. Yeah... there will still be time for cuddles, but there is something so magical about it when they are still so little. Maybe it’s because babies are so mysterious in their needs. Once they learn to talk, they say exactly what they want. It’s still wonderful to hold his children and have them feel safe. No matter how old they get, he can’t ever see himself closing off his arms to them. 

Soft hiccups disturb Kana’s deep breathing. He doesn’t stir. His eyes stay shut and body limp. He’s a bit of a mess today. Still in his jammies from yesterday. His hair was already long. At least a pinky’s length and completely untameable. It too is white. Bright white. If thrown feet first into the snow, Kana would blend into the banks. It’s a.... bit odd to Jiraiya that his children take after him. Well... it’s weird to him. Both have his likeness where they would benefit more if they look like you. You are far prettier. Much prettier. Yet his genetics are dominant in the pool. You like it but...

Perhaps he’s just overthinking, but a part of him worries. To have his children look like him makes them more distinguishable in a crowd. What... what if someone took advantage of that? No. No don’t even think it. He’s just tired. There’s no threats here. No one wants to steal his children. Or harm them. Not while he’s around.

“Jiraiya-boy. Why are you outside?” The familiar sweet old voice of his grandmotherly mentor asks from in front of him.

He raises his gaze from Kana to Shima, who was indeed standing there. The old toad adorned in a grey cloak and holding a woven basket that had a cloth laid overtop to protect the contents from the snow. He smiles softly and hushed her.

“He just fell asleep. I wanted to show him the snow.” He explains himself in a quiet voice.

“Ah.. that makes sense. It’s so good to see him resting.” She said with a smile. She hobbles to the protection of the eaves, brushing off some of the snow on her shoulders. “I suppose that means little Hayami is out playing in the snow?”

“Yeah. She needs some playtime.”

“Aye, that she does. No child should be training all the time. She’s quite like you in that regard.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh you know, that... zest for both. There’s time for fun and time to work hard. It’s nice to see you have taken our lessons to heart.”

The small smile Jiraiya had on his face grew. That’s praise he’ll take. The sage toads were always good teachers. Even when he was a boy that was more interested in exploring every nook and cranny of the mountain, they encouraged it... so long as he completed a step in his training. Unlike home where his curiosity was often criticized, on the mountain he could always find a new place to discover with some positive reinforcements. If anything it’s just nice to see Hayami wanted to explore and play around the similar routes he had treaded as a child.

“What about that lovely wife of yours, my boy? Is she outside too?” Shima asks. She took a spot right beside him, peering at the snoozing baby with a fond grin.

“No, she’s asleep inside. Kana has been rather tiring to deal with today.”

“Just today?” She asks with a laugh. She couldn’t help but touch Kana’s hand. He’s a handful, but he’s adorable. His little fingers squeezes at her webbed finger as it intruded. “He has been quite the crier this last week.”

“Yeah...” Jiraiya was more absentminded in his reply. His thoughts are on you.

It’s been hard to really be with you... Not that his love is in doubt, it’s just you aren’t around him. You’re here but you aren’t at the same time. Kana was your number one priority. As it should be. But you’ve neglected yourself in the process of raising the baby. Each night you are sleeping before Jiraiya even comes in from chopping firewood or helping with a few household chores. Half the time you miss dinner. It wasn’t ideal. Out fo everyone, you’re the most tired. You’ve sacrificed your health for your child. It’s about time your husband does something for you. To help you unwind and relax.

“Lady Shima?” He ponders aloud.

“Shima, my dear boy.” She corrects. “What do you want?”

“Right Shima.” It still feels weird to drop the titles when he’s used them since childhood. But they both insist they be called either their name or something like family. “Can I ask you a favour?”

“Anything.”

He can’t help but smile. The toads always make him feel like he’s in the company of family. With parental figures ready to take on their roles as grandparents.... It’s just good. Warm. He’d never think he’d have elders that he can rely on to help him.

“Would you mind watching over the kids for a few hours? I need to do something... nice for my wife. She needs a break from all this.”

“I would love to. So long as you tell me what got Kana to sleep!”

“He’s a snow eater.” Jiraiya phrases it as oddly as he can, he wouldn’t be him if he didn’t. He stands with sleeping toddle in hand to go back inside. “He’ll probably be out for an hour and when he wakes up he’ll be hungry.”

“And little miss Hayami should be back by then. I can handle feeding them and getting them settled for the night.” Shima says with a nod as she follows him. “But what exactly do you plan to do with your wife? There’s not a lot of places I can think of that is secluded or romantic.”

“I know a place. It’ll be fine.”

She doesn’t have a brow to raise but her expression was just as suspicious of him. He simply smiles at her before quietly opening the door and setting Kana down into the makeshift cradle the pile of blankets in the corner of the room makes. He doesn’t move too much in his sleep so the most he needs to restrain him is a blanket to tuck him in.

Now to wake you up. You are curled into a ball under a nice fluffy thick blanket. Where the toads got all these blankets, Jiraiya ain’t got a clue. A couple he brought over when he was a young man when the last cold snap happened. Perhaps some of the toads that are contracted for travel went out to grab more when another winter suddenly hit. Whatever the reason it’s nice to have so many to cuddle into. The most he sees is your hair and nose poking out of the covers.

“Honey?” He whisper calls for you as he gently shakes your shoulder.

“Hmmmmnnnnn.” You groan and curl up tighter.

“Babe come on. I promise it’ll be worth your time.”

You huff and pull the blanket down to reveal your face. You look at him with tired eyes and a silent question. It was slightly harsh as your eyes were sharp with annoyance.

“Kana is down for a nap. Hayami is out playing. How about you and I have some fun?”

“How did you get Kana to settle down?” Your voice is groggy, but impressed with his feat.

“Magic and determination.”

You scoff at his reply. Slowly you sit up and rub your eyes. Much to your surprise, Jiraiya moved in to grab you. He placed his arm under your legs at where they bend and mid back to lift you in proper bridal carry form. With the blanket wrapped around you and the warmth from his body, it was quite nice.

“How about it, babe? Feel like having an adventure?” Jiraiya asks you with a wink.

“Where exactly is this adventure?”

“It’s... on the mountain.”

You roll your eyes. You agree to whatever he has planned. He carries you out of the room and you close the door with care as to not wake up the cranky baby. He carries you to the front door, where your shoes are awaiting you. He set you down so you could get them on. But he’s still a flirty perv. One that can’t stop touching you. His arms around you and lips happy to peck around your neck.

He’s still dressed for winter and ready to go. He still relies on old fashioned things like a hanten for a jacket. He’s missing his scarf. But still has his mittens. He’s adorably excited to take you out. The moment you are ready, he grabs your hand and steals you away.

The cold was more than you expected. It’s not just a little bit cold out. No wonder why Jiraiya had red cheeks and ears when he came in to wake you. Despite how cold his face must be, he’s grinning happily. He takes the first step, breaching past the comfort of the home into the winter. You have no choice but to follow. The once easy paths of the mountain were now more of a chore with shin high snow to trudge through.

It didn’t deter your dear Jiraiya from hiking up the inclines with a fierce childlike determination. The deep snow was just another challenge. He faced it head on like he does to all challenges. He was ahead of you, conquering another slope with some difficulties. He was forced to slow down when the snow suddenly doubled in depth and he yelped in surprise when he sunk down to above the knees. He almost completely blended in with the ends of his hair now touching the snow so seamlessly it looks like another wind swept snow dune that had formed on the slope. You catch up with him and pass him, ignoring him completely when he whined in complaint.

“Wha-? Babe! Help me out here!” Jiraiya asks you while making grabbing motions towards you like a toddler.

“I’m sure my Great Toad Sage can escape some snow.” You dismiss with a wave. You take careful steps so you don’t sink down like he did. Casting a look to your left you see a set of smaller footprints and valleys that a little girl would make as she dragged herself through the snow.

Echoing laughs and shrieks of joy does confirm that Hayami is close by. The occasional shout of ‘grandpapa’ from her mouth suggests that Fukasaku is entertaining her with some kind of game. You hike further, following the sounds. Grumbles and the shuffles of snow from behind is telling that Jiraiya is digging himself out. You leave him to it as you try to find out what your daughter is doing.

You walk into a lopsided clearing that has quite the hill on the one side. It’s steep and large. Climbing it, more like scrambling it was Hayami. She’s struggling a little to get to the top, dragging along a man sized leaf, most likely plucked from one of the oversized foliage that grows naturally within the mountain. Fukasaku is watching from a perch atop a frozen mushroom on the slope. Once she reached the top, the old toad leaped onto the leaf and told her something. You are too far away to hear. You duck behind a stem when she turns around, not wanting to distract her from her fun.

“She’s learning fast, eh?” Jiraiya spoke from behind you.

It startled you. Even in snow he’s silent in his approach. You turn to him to see he’s got snow stuck to his legs and mittens. His eyes are focused on his daughter, watching her with a smile as she shrieks in joy sliding down the mountain on the leaf she’s using as a natural sled. At that moment it does dwell on you that this is her first winter. She’s never been in the snow before. Each time winter comes about, you and Jiraiya plan a route that is far south to avoid it. So every winter Hayami was spending it on sandy beaches or humid rainforests. She was star struck when she first saw the snow. Curious on what one could do with the snow, she was determined to find out.

“That she is.” You agree. You lean against him and put your arm around him, laying your hand on his hip. “She’s quite clever. Like her father.”

“Oh no, she’s for sure just like her mother.”

You shake your head. Such a flatterer. He’s hard to compliment sometimes. He leans down to give you a kiss. He grabbed your hand that was on his hip and ducked down low whilst raising your arm up to spin out from under it like some kind of dance.

“Let’s keep going, before it gets too dark.” Jiraiya insists while beginning to lead the way again.

You follow, hearing Fukasaku make a similar comment to Hayami as you leave.

“Okay, one more run then we go back home, my dear. Ma will have dinner on the stove soon.” The elder said in a nurturing tone.

“Okay, grandpapa! I’m hungry.” Hayami agrees to this compromise.

It’s nice seeing her having so much fun. She’s still young after all. While it’s important for her to learn how to defend herself, it’s also important for her to still be a kid. It seems the balance has been successfully struck. She still finds enjoyment in the simple things in between learning how to strike bullseyes and how to successfully jump on a man’s back to choke them out into unconsciousness. Ya know... the essentials.

Jiraiya continues to trek at an incline. Does he plan to take you to the very top of this mountain? You are starting to lose your breath. Your shins burn from lunging up the mountain. It does even out... eventually. He’s waiting for you beside a cliff face wall. Dark stone and snow was cutting off any further travel. The wall continues for several miles on both sides. There’s no way around aside from up. You’d have to climb over it to continue this ascent. He better not! Just how high does he plan on climbing? Does he want to toss you off this damn mountain?

“Where... are we going?” You growl at him, throughly done with this little adventure. You are tired. You are cold. Your husband’s antics are not amusing anymore.

“Don’t be a grump! Just a few more steps.”

Jiraiya ducks down and enters into a crack in the wall. He was blocking it before, you hadn’t noticed that there was a crack in the first place. His hand appears a moment later from the darkness that had swallowed him when he entered. Like the weirdly charming man he is, he forms his hand to look like a duck face sort of creature with his fingers straight out but pushed together with his thumb underneath them sort of like how one would control a hand puppet. He cocks his hand as if the puppet was looking at you.

“Follow wife.” He moves his hand like it was speaking. He dropped his voice to be deeper and... well... sillier. After doing so he flipped his hand over in offer for you to take.

Sigh. He’s a dork, but he’s a dork you love dearly. You take his hand and he pulls you into the dark. It was pitch black in the crack. It was snug. It must be snugger for your man, who is much taller than you. Yet he navigated the thin cave structure like he was born in it.

“How do you know about this... cranny?” You ask.

“I found it when I was a kid, I often came here to... get away from everything for a while.”

Get away? Probably from training. Or from the toads. He can be a bit of a hermit sometimes. An introvert at heart that needed some alone time to recharge. Sometimes he still does that. He likes to retreat to hot springs and bathhouses to do so. Or smoke somewhere quiet and lonely to set his head right. He’s been doing it more often recently. Hayami was trying too hard. Kana has been more stressful to deal with. A loud screaming toddler, a child who wants to do her best, and an overtired wife must be stressing him out.

The darkness and snug walls of the cave broke. You nearly walked into him, stopping just shy of his back. It was still dark, just slightly better to see. The light was a colder one. Blue and green. It was as on the ceiling of this cave in clusters. Like stars, but closer and much brighter. For once the cosmos felt in reach. Oh... it’s algae, or some kind of other bioluminescent creature. It’s magnificent whatever it is.

It’s much warmer in this cave and humid. More like spring on the mountain rather than the winter. It’s very cozy. Jiraiya turns around with a grin. He’s clearly quite proud of this discovery. Never a man to waste time, he began to take off his clothing.

“We’re the only ones here. None of the toads seem to know that the source of their hot springs starts here.” He said.

“Really? This is the source?” You question his claim.

“Yeah. If you go closer to that wall, you can feel the pull of the waterfall that goes into the big pool they all lounge in.” He pointed to the wall across the natural room.

“Uh... that sounds dangerous.”

“Heh, I’ve only ever fell down it once. I promise it’s safe. Let’s just not bring the kids.”

Yeah that’s a disaster waiting to happen. Both Hayami and Kana aren’t the strongest swimmers. It would be best not to think about the consequences of a situation like that. Jiraiya began to distract you from such thoughts. He’s undressed to his underwear, stopping there to help you catch up.

How does he find the time to stay so pretty? Fit and gorgeous. It’s nice to touch... anywhere. From his face which hadn’t changed all that much all these years, to his abdomen which was fit and defined by lines you always find the time to trace to all the way down to his toes. His legs can kick in any door. His ass quite bubbly for a man who doesn’t got any fat on him. It’s just... quite nice that it’s all yours to enjoy.

“What? You’re staring at me.” Jiraiya asks.

“It’s nothing bad, dear. I’m just admiring.”

“So long as it is admiration and not judgment.”

“Well, I do judge.” You say with a coy grin. His hands finally reach the bare skin of your tummy. You reach up and caress his shoulders up to his neck. “Just not your hot bod.”

He snorts. It turns into laughter as he holds you. He pulls you into a tight hug that forces you against him. You are much more squishy than he is, which he loves. A part of you is now more self conscious since you’ve given birth. All the rough side effects of childbirth does change a woman’s body drastically. He doesn’t really mind or care. So long as you are healthy, he’s happy.

“What do you judge me for, my love?” He asks in jest.

“Nothing serious. Just the things all crotchety old married people judge one another for.”

“Aw come on, we’re at least a few years away from crotchety territory!”

You and him chuckle. He goes in to kiss you. Your lips and down your neck. As he does, he continues to undress you. He’s gentle. He always is. Soon you are naked. He kicks off his remaining layer before happily leading you to the water. The warmth of it was just right. The lingering cold in your body was soon melted away by the warm water.

He pulls you down to your knees. He sits in the water with you. Sitting in the water makes the level up to your chest. It is rather nice to be alone with him like this. It’s been what?... Two years since you got to hang out alone with him. No kids. No screaming. Just quiet and comfort. You scoot closer until you are sitting on his lap, arms draped over his shoulders and head rested on his chest. His hands run up and down your back slowly. It’s firm as well, keeping you warm and loved.

“Still sleepy?” Jiraiya asks.

“A little.” You confirm. You move one of your hands to find a section of his hair and began to play with it. “I missed you.”

“We’ve been together everyday.”

“Hardly. Sleeping beside you is not really spending time with you.”

He sighs quietly. He kisses your head before resting his cheek against it. You play with his hair, just barely able to peek over his shoulder to see what you are doing. Curling a lock around your finger slowly does relax him. Much like his daughter, he likes his hair being played with. As you watch yourself, your mind returns to that thought of him being quietly stressed out.

“You enjoy being a parent, right? Your family isn’t too much for you?” You ask in a quiet voice.

“...” Jiraiya hesitates for a moment. You feel his breath hitch in his throat. “N... No. I wouldn’t trade this life for anything.” He pulls you more flush against him, as if you would evaporate in his arms. “Don’t ask things like that... it’s scary.”

“Sorry... You just seem stressed.” You apologize and firmly press your hand against his back in a hug. “I guess sometimes I just wonder if you...”

“If I what?”

“If we all overwhelm you. I know it’s not easy with three people to take care of.”

“I don’t mind taking care of the people I love. To be honest,” he pauses and being next to his neck you can hear him swallow down the emotion that he was trying to control. “I’d never thought that I would be so lucky to have a family. I thought I would be living a lonely life. You... our children... they give me a reason to live.”

You remain quiet, letting him release his emotions in a solitary silence. He didn’t like it when you saw him emotional. He’s always been your rock and he wants to maintain that status. But listening to his raw emotions was... nice. He’s always so stoic it’s hard to read him sometimes. A wonderful warmth spreads inside of you knowing that he still loves his life.

“It is really hectic. But that’s what kids do. They’re hectic little things.” He continues to speak. His voice falls slowly until he’s quiet, as if lowering the volume of his voice will help him get a grip on the waver that’s in it. “But it’s so rewarding to see them grow. The world isn’t so bad with kids like them around, right?”

“Right.” You agree. You straighten your back to raise yourself enough to give his cheek a kiss.

“It’s all the more reason to have another!”

“Hm..” You give a thoughtful hum. He turns his head to look you in the eye. You give him a gentle quick kiss before speaking. “Maybe in a few years. I don’t want to have them too close together.”

“Good call. I’m just glad you’re still interested in raising a couple more.”

You smile. Even if it’s a little stressful now, it’s good to know he’s still excited about this parenting adventure. Kana won’t be like this for much longer. Once those baby teeth are in, he’ll be much calmer. He was calm for a baby before this, even if he had a taste for trouble that Hayami didn’t really have. Like getting into things and ignoring the word no to satisfy his curiosity. Hmm... even if they aren’t far away, you miss him and Hayami.

Jiraiya is good at distracting you. You’ll see them soon enough. For now, it’s time to take full advantage of the seclusion he and you are in. You intertwine your fingers around the back of his neck. You slide closer until you are flush against him. For the first time since Kana was born, you and your husband indulge in one another. His hands grab your ass firmly. You Share heated kisses with him while your hips rut against his. Opportunities like this are too few now.

“Care for a ride?..” You whisper weakly, already breathless from the few passionate moments.

“Hah... y-yeah.”

Like you’ve had so many times before, you mount and ride him. Nice and slow as to savour the rare opportunity. His hands help you raise and lower so that not as much strain is on you. No words are exchanged. It’s fairly quiet. The heavy breathing and slosh of the water from the movement being the only thing that filled the cave. Pleasure like this was meant to be enjoyed like this. 

It’s lasts for a long time, ending at the safe shallow end of the spring. The pull of the water almost pulled him away, which is something you nor him wanted. The satisfaction that washed over not just you but him as well had taken away the stress. For some time, you lay on your back beside him with the water just barely caressing your mid back. It was just enough to not get too hot. Jiraiya was in a similar state. Laying beside you, enjoying the moment. His arms laid above his head in a lazy stretch. His breathing deep as he looks about ready to doze off.

You reach out to touch, stroking up and down his chest to his abdomen. His lax parted lips slowly curled into a smile. You roll until you hit his side. You lay on top of him, pulling his wet hair off of his skin. It’s stuck to him like threads to staticky clothing. His eyes remain closed. His deep breathing rocks your body. With your chest squished against his, it was like a calm wave that rolled right under you. Some strands of his bangs were stuck to his face. You pull them away before kissing him again.

“We should go before it gets too late.” You say.

“Hmmm.” Jiraiya hums in acknowledgement. He didn’t look particularly motivated to leave. His hand slings over your back to keep you pinned in place. “I could stay here forever.”

“No you couldn’t. You love too many things that wait for you on the outside.”

“True.” He agrees with a soft laugh.

You get off of him, leaving the cold air to settle in around him. Jiraiya finally opens his eyes, sighing as he builds the motivation to get up. The hot healing water and sex had turned his muscles to mush. They didn’t want to move. He was so relaxed that the few knots that had tightened his shoulders were totally undone. He rolls to his side. From there he slowly got to his feet.

“I have something I have to ask you.” He states as he drags himself to the pile of clothing you are picking apart.

“What’s up?” You ask him to continue. You don’t stop from your task of separating your clothing from his as you speak.

“How do you feel about leaving soon?”

That gets you to stop. A curious expression takes your face as you look at him.

“Did someone say something to you?” You ask.

“No. I’ve just been noticing that we’re taking up more resources than can be replenished.”

For some time you are quiet. Your actions slower as you put your bra back on as you mull his words over. That feeling of escape had left. The reality of the strain your family is causing the toads could be more than a few noise complaints.

“I’d hate to overstay our welcome.” You finally say. “Do you think we’ve reached that point?”

“Yes. They won’t say it. None of them will say that, but I think it would be best to move on.”

“Then let’s go.” You agree.

It was just time. Most of the toads have migrated over to the lower edges of the mountain where the warmth still was. It was eerie and quiet on the once lively mountain. With no toads of unusually lard sizes to sass the humans that stay in their territory. Hayami has found it to be rather boring without much of her amphibious friends to pester and play with. The two elders had stayed simply to host their human guests. It would be better if they left with their kin for food and warmth. They won’t so long as your family dwells with them.

“I say we go to the beach for the rest of the winter.” Jiraiya suggests.

“That sounds good.” You agree. Snow and cold, while beautiful does get old very quickly. Warm sandy beaches are much more desirable.

“I knew you would agree!” His voice echoes around the walls of the cave. He presses his body against yours and grabs your ass. “I’d much rather see you in a swimsuit than in a coat!”

“What if the coat is all I’m wearing?”

He chuckles in response. That ain’t bad either. You look good in anything, but the heavy down coat that just barely covered up to your thighs that was unzipped and showing off the teasing sneak peeks of your body would be wonderful in its own way.

You finish getting dressed. You assist your husband in ringing out some of his hair. He takes his time getting his clothing on, often taking breaks to hold and kiss you. It’s just been so long since he’s been able to. He missed it more than he realized. You get him all wrapped up in his layers. He did slow down your progress with those wonderful kisses of his.

Jiraiya led the way back out again. The cold air was more unwelcoming to your skin. That bit of warm water that stuck to your skin and comforted you had now sucked in all the frosty air. It felt like the cold went right into your bones. All the more reason to hurry to the house. Jiraiya was on the same page, a shiver going through his body as soon as he stood out in the open winter. His damp hair froze when it hit the air, only freezing him further.

It was very dark out. The winter season meant early nights. It was already pitch black out despite it being just past six at night. You and Jiraiya hastily scuttle back to the house. The dark and quiet was a strange atmosphere to be in on the usually welcoming environment. The warmth of the sage toads home was very much needed. The chaos and rush of family will be a welcome distraction to offset this strangeness.

Instead of baby wails, it was shrieks. Shrieks is joy and excitement from a toddler. Kana was having fun doing something. He’s probably making trouble. By how Fukasaku was calling for the boy to stop, it would seem so. You share a look with Jiraiya. He’s smirking with a knowing look in his eye. That’s his son after all. Only his bloodline can cause enough mischief to drive the endlessly patient sage toads to their wits end.

You push open the door, curious to what the commotion was about. You are greeted with a rather funny sight. Your son naked as the day he was born streaking across the room, his hair still a mess of tangles that bobbed with the motion of his trailblazing. He’s giggling and crying with joy as he’s being chased by an overwhelmed old toad that was holding a change of pyjamas for the excited toddler. Once he took notice of you, Kana stumbled on his feet to change direction to waddle towards you. He stumbled forward for a beat, catching himself with his hands before he face planted and got back up to trot to you at full speed. You crouch down to catch him. You pick him up and greet him with a kiss to his flush cheek.

“Maaahh!” He squeals at you.

“Hello, baby!” You verbally greet him.

Your happy greeting only elated him further. His tongue stuck out as he smiles brightly at you. It’s a habit of his he does when he’s in a good mood. It’s been too long since he’s stuck his tongue out at you. You shuffle in further to escape the cold. Jiraiya shut the door behind him after following you.

“I’m sorry, dears. I gave him a bath but he ran off after I got him out.” Fukasaku sighs.

“No need to apologize. He is a budding escape artist.” You say.

Kana may be little, but the boy had a talent for sneaking off. He was one of those flight risk babies that found anything to chase to make you panic as he escapes your sight often. He’s only been a real mama’s boy since he started to teethe. You bend down to take Kana’s change of jammies from Fukasaku. You can get him changed. You jump a little when Jiraiya again seizes the opportunity to smack your ass. You stand and turn to give him a glare. He flashes you an innocent smile before dragging his hand along your rump as he walked by further into the home.

“Have they eaten?” He asks as he lazily peeled off his outerwear and dropped it on the floor in a pile beside the door. You roll your eyes in response. Why can’t he behave like an adult in this house?

Fukasaku confirms and goes about a small rant. Apparently it was quite the ordeal. Kana is a messy boy. It’s not his fault he didn’t like to hold spoons. He likes the good old fashioned way of fist to mouth for his food. Most ended up on his shirt even if he did have a bib on. There is always a pile of crumbs and other fallout on the floor of the places he eats like it was raining food. No wonder he had to have a bath as Shima had prepared a soup.

“Mama, papa?” Hayami rounded the corner from the kitchen.

Her face lit up in joy at the sight of her parents back. She broke out into a run to squeeze you in a hug, then barrelled over to Jiraiya for the same type of bear hug. He crouched down to her level to catch her and exchange a few words.

“How’s your hand, kiddo?”

“It’s okay, papa. It don’t hurt that much.”

“That’s my girl.”

He grabbed her hand, careful to not put pressure on the injury. He gave it a quick kiss before kissing the top of her head. She simply beams a grin at him, happy and proud of herself. As she should be.She leans in after a moment and whispers.

“Do I tell mama?”

“Maybe later.” He answers just as quietly. “For now it’s our secret.”

She nods with a seriousness that looked odd and amusing on a child. She’s adorable. He ruffles her hair. It’s still baby soft... and slightly damp. Must be from the snow. She was out in it for hours.

“How was your time in the snow?” Jiraiya asks her with that fascinated grin he always puts on when chatting with her.

“Sooooo much fun! Grandpapa showed me how to sled!” She threw her hands up in exclamation.

You watch and listen to their exchange, smiling as your child rambles on in excitement. Her first snow day was a success. You pass by them, headed for the bedroom. Kana has his head rested on your shoulder, a very clear sign that he was done for the night. It was time to get him back in diapers and covered up to keep the frost away. He was fairly cooperative as you dress him. Once so, he dragged himself to bed like he worked hard labour all day. His steps had a lumber to them that was similar to his papa’s when exhausted. He rolled into his personal blanket fort and looked at you, expecting his usual goodnight ritual. That was pretty sassy for a baby. You raise your brow at him as you often do to Jiraiya when he gets snarky. He looks at you the same way. Brows furrowed with a tight pout, as if to say you are in the wrong for being offended. It was funny to see Hayami beside her father, but Kana is going to grow into a carbon copy of Jiraiya if this is telling of the future. Not that it would be a bad thing. It meant a future of good looks and sharp commentary from a bunch of sassy tow heads.

Sigh. Those problems are for later. For now it’s time to celebrate the little things. It least Kana is in bed at a reasonable hour. Whatever secret Jiraiya had discovered to get him to stop crying was a god send. Although, your baby’s hands are a little chilly for having had been in a bath. As you do every night, you kiss his forehead and hum a little tune that gets him snoring in seconds. You tuck him in extra tight to get him extra cozy before leaving him to it.

For the first time in many nights, it was quiet. Everyone has quieted down, as if Kana had rule over their voices. Perhaps they are afraid of rousing him. This is the first night he hadn’t had rule over the roost. No one wants to raise their voice and ruin it.

Your husband and daughter had moved to the kitchen. Hayami was settled at the small dining table tucked into the corner of the kitchen. Jiraiya was sitting with her, eating quietly as she talked on about her snowy adventures while pointing to the pictures she had drawn to go along with her tale.

Shima was at a pot she was barely bigger than. She ladled a scoop of the tasty smelling contents into a bowl and offered it to you. You accept it with a smile. You take a seat beside your daughter, enclosing her between her parents. You blow gently on your hot food while listening in on her tall tale. She stopped for a moment to grin at you before continuing. It’s great to have a quiet moment. To wind down after a busy day listening to your child talk excitedly about all the things she discovered. It’s not long before she tired herself out. Her story now getting interrupted by yawns every few words or so. It makes sense. Using chakra is tiring, especially when followed up by hours of playing. But it’s important for her to build that endurance while she’s young.

“Why don’t you get ready for bed?” You suggest to her. You comb her hair back from her face just how she likes to encourage her sleepiness. “It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.”

“What am I going to learn tomorrow, mama?”

“That is for you and papa discover together.”

She nods and yawns again. After a goodnight kiss for both her parents, she walked off in a tired stumble to her own fort of blankets to cuddle up to in the spare bedroom she is sharing with her family. Something catches your eye for a moment, a flash of white bandages on her hand.

“Is she injured?” You ask, turning to Jiraiya for an answer.

“....” He looks at you with wide eyes, surprised that you noticed.... or surprised that you caught him in a possible lie. “It’s just a little cut. She fell down while training today.”

“Why do I have the feeling that isn’t the whole truth?”

“Cause it isn’t.” He admits to it. He leaned forward and gave you a kiss. “Don’t worry about it. If it was something major, I would have told you.”

“Fine.” You agree.

It sucks knowing you didn’t notice until now. But... he’s right. It can’t be anything life threatening if he didn’t tell you. Poor girl. She shouldn’t ever be injured like that. She is growing but... it’s hard to see her with a weapon in her hand. Harder than expected. Her innocent face and attitude doesn’t suit the ways a ninja is supposed to be. But she’s so motivated and enthusiastic about learning that you can’t refuse her. It’s necessary for her future... but still...

“I swear it’s just a little cut. Nothing to fret about. She’s a tough kid.” Jiraiya continued to comfort you. He holds you in a few more kisses before you left his side.

While knowing you aren’t long for the waking world, you do what you can to clean up. You gather the dishes and clean them, ignoring Shima’s insisting that you leave her to do it. It is the least you can do for her and her husband’s hospitality. Jiraiya is tidying as well, gathering the stack of drawings Hayami had drawn into a single neat pile. He always collects them and saves them. There’s no fridge for him to hang them on. So the next best thing is to keep them in his bag in a special pocket like they are the greatest of treasures. One he keeps out. One he hand selected with Hayami’s permission to let her grandparents keep. One of her signature doodle originals. This one depicting the two sage toads caught in a hop straight up in the air with snowflakes in the air like they were catching them. In between them was a cute familiar little girl cheering along with them with her legs cut off by a lumpy line meant to depict the piled high snow. Once the two toads stopped bickering over the perfect spot and agreed, Jiraiya hung the drawing up for them by a pin in the wall.

With the final tasks done, it officially marked bedtime. The lights flicked out one at a time as you walked through the house. The sight of the cot in the spare room was the most beautiful sight in the world. At the same time, you and Jiraiya collapse onto it and sigh. Once he trapped you in that all too familiar position of being your big spoon, he was snoring in seconds. Despite you not carrying, he now always keeps his hand on your belly and only fully settles when you interlock your fingers between his. For a cold winter night, it was very warm with all your family around you.

In the morning, you and Jiraiya gathered up the scattered belongings the kids had. Both the toads took note of what this meant. They insisted that your family stays until spring, stating that Kana is too little to travel in the snow and Hayami is still training.

“Lucky for them they got me to handle that.” Jiraiya answered their concerns with a confident grin. To emphasize his point he put Kana on his shoulders, who held onto the horns on his headband like they were reins while giggling with joy. The much higher perspective always put the little guy in a great mood. He hauled Hayami up by her arms, tossing her up until he had her by the ankle. She was laughing the whole time, not at all bothered from being carried like this. “I can carry them through the snow and teach em good!”

“Papa! Toss me in the snow!” Hayami insists with excitement. Like all children, she enjoyed being thrown around a little.

“Uh... maybe not.” You cut in. You grab Hayami and set her on her feet. It was quite sunny and warm for a winter morning. With the sparkly snow looking more icy and hard. She didn’t need to break her nose or scrape up her not injured hand on half refrozen snow. She pouts at you until you hand her backpack. It was child size and held her most precious belongings, like her stuffed animals and art supplies. “Perhaps papa can toss you into the sea when we get to it.”

“We’re going to the sea?!”

“Yes.”

She gasps like this was the greatest news ever. Her love for the sea was greater than her love of the snow. She happily equipped her pack before running to give her grandparents hugs goodbye. She ran out the door, loudly demanding her family follow. She’s ready for a new adventure. You follow her out and stop to wait for your husband. You turn to see he’s crouched down, speaking quietly to his mentors while Kana played drums on his head. Those chubby little hands are stronger than they look, especially when playing a beat on a skull. He gently grabbed his child’s hands to stop the headache before it began. The whole time his focus didn’t really waver. Whatever he was saying looked to be a bit on a sappy side. The two elders both take a glance at you with a grin.

Before you could walk back over and listen in, Jiraiya stood back up. He ducked under the door with just enough clearance to not smoke Kana’s head on the frame. He stops in front of you, tilting his head when you didn’t move to fall in step beside him as you usually do. You place your arms around him and ask.

“What were you talking about?”

“Nothing spectacular, I assure you.” He said with that ‘I’m totally innocent’ grin. He leans down to kiss you before stepping around you to escape your loose grip. “Come on! The sea awaits!”

“Yeah!” Hayami cheers from a few feet ahead.

As if to encourage the idea, Kana does that wonderful happy baby squeal while bopping his hands against the fluffy locks on his father’s head. While it’s cute seeing him excited, Jiraiya isn’t fond of getting a beating from his child. To keep the kid soothed, he makes another snowball and gives it to Kana. The baby took it with glee and began to munch on it. This then created a small problem for Jiraiya as now both water and drool is dripping on his head. Aw well... it’s worth it. It’s better than having a fitful baby hitting him or pulling his hair.

You watch them with a tilt of the head. Your husband just fed your baby snow. Your baby seems to like it more than any other snack he’s ever been given. How peculiar. But then again babies are quite strange. Jiraiya pauses after taking a few steps. He turns just enough to look back at you.

“You coming, babe?” He calls.

With a sigh you follow. Even after so many years, Jiraiya still finds a way to be mysterious around you. What on earth was he whispering about to his mentors? Sigh... something to bug him about later. You catch up to him and grab his hand. At seeing this, Hayami stopped running ahead to instead fall in stride to his other side and paw at his hand. He held it as he did to yours. She was a bit more energetic, climbing the stones and jumping over logs that were close enough to do so. She relied on his grip to balance her out a few times.

This was the norm while traveling. It a way it was refreshing to do it again. The break was good. So was the snow. But now it’s time to discover new things. Each new adventure you take with your family, despite it being on familiar roads, was always different. Where shall this one take you now? It seems only time will tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk of any of y’all like this family stuff but it heals my stressed soul. Plus I kinda glossed over the less fun stuff of parenting as well as our boy dealing with those grumpy toddler years. Also I thought it would be a good build up and get you guys invested in children you are familiar with. I mean... is it totally irrational for Jiraiya to worry about his children taking after him? And just how would he react to someone attempting to steal his children? You guys down for another kidnap scenario?
> 
> Late Night Edit: I realize now as I was just about to fall asleep that how I phrased it, implies he was smoking wacky tobacky. I mean as funny as that is, please rest assured I’m speaking of regular tobacco and the those long stem old fashioned Japanese style pipes. I do know he does do pipe smoking and the terms I used are accurate... I think. From what I remember from googling it like a month ago. But I am cackling in the dark thinking he blazed it to deal with family stress. So oof on that oversight but hopefully it enhanced your reading experience lmao.


	59. Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walking into this building brings up conflicting feelings. On one hand, it’s a brothel and no one of good moral standing goes to a place like this, on the other hand it holds you. With a sigh, Jiraiya enters the building with hope you’ll remember something this time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Mentions of sexual abuse of both childhood and adult types. Some genuine bad times but it does end well!

Jiraiya is back!

With a shout of glee, you scamper to get ready. Running to your room to get your best dress. You don’t have many. Not a lot of clients get you things. He did. Jiraiya was a very sweet regular of yours. He got you the nicest things you own. An indigo kimono with simple white flowers. A perfume that smells amazing. A hair clip that had delicate decorations on it. You wear all these things whenever he comes to visit you. It’s not very often. Once a month if he can. It’s the best night of that month.

Once dressed and ready, you practically skip down the hall. Your feet feeling light and skilled as they gracefully dodged the obstacles in the way. A few of your coworkers look at you with envy. Jiraiya is a high paying client with a certain reputation. The fact that you are his favourite has made others jealous. Tough! They can deal. Most of them get clients like him. He just happened to be the most famous.

You knock on the door where you know he is waiting. The giddy excitement in your body only jolts up more at hearing his voice.

“Come in!”

Your heart quickens in excitement. You open the door and enter. Seeing him again had done more than just quicken your heart and excite your body. It numbed all the pain in your life. All the things that worried or hurt you was now dulled.

Your favourite person is standing in the room. His arms out to catch you in a hug. The excitement that filled you was tenfold to the joy you felt before. Your body is practically vibrating with happiness. You collided into him and held on tightly. Your cheek rested against his warm chest. Your hands slowly run down his arms. They’re bare. He trusts you. All that armour he wears is abandoned to the side of the room with the rest of his belongings. A content sigh leaves you when he runs his hands up and down your back.

Warm fuzzy feelings trickle in the wake of his hands. If only everyone was like this. With hands who comfort and never harm. You shut your eyes. This moment was worth relishing in. His nice warm body against yours. The beat of his heart thumping steadily in your ear. It was good enough to fall asleep to. Or just listen to. For hours.

His hand traveled up your back again and went over your shoulder. He gently put his fingers under your chin and pushed it up. You are forced to meet his eyes. Not that you mind all that much. His face is nice to look at. So are his eyes. Dark in colour but bright with many things. Happiness. Kindness. Intelligence. A wiseness as well, but rarely spoken out. He prefers to make you laugh to comfort you than use boring words. That’s where his wiseness is used. To know how to make you smile.

You flinch when his thumb stoked over your cheek, right below your eye. It’s tender, as all bruises are. You tried to cover it up... but none of your make up is thick enough. The smile he had worn ever since you walked in had fallen as he inspected the injury.

“Are you...”

You shake your head. It’s not so fun when he worries. Why does he worry? There are better people to be worried about, you aren’t one of them.

“I’m fine.” You say with a smile.

He let’s out a sigh that drops his shoulders. It was a sigh that sounded disappointed and stressed. If he’s stressed then that’s why you’re here. He always said the company of a woman always put him at ease.

“Shall I get your drink?” You ask.

“No need. I already have it.”

“Oh... sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” Jiraiya assures you with a smile. “I guess I was impatient.”

“A long day?”

“Yeah! I got one hell of a story to tell you.”

“Sounds interesting.” You tug on his hips to encourage him to sit. He does follow. Plunking down into the mound of pillows he nested around him for comfort. You straddle his waist, rubbing his chest. “Tell me about it as I serve you.”

“Er... Just my drink.”

You pout a little. He’s been oddly prudish. Not allowing you to pleasure him more than conversation. Strange for a man known for being sweet on the ladies. Even if you know nothing other than this house, you do know his reputation. The other girls have talked about it. There’s a certain amount of pressure you feel. You must satisfy this customer. If he gave you a bad review then you’ll be punished. Such a high profile customer needs to be satisfied.

The bottle of sake is sitting beside him. You grab it along with the small serving cup nestled beside it. With a steady well practiced motion you fill the cup. You place it against his lips, your eyes focused on them as they part. Jiraiya is the first client you’ve had that you want to kiss. They look so nice. They say only nice things. They must feel nice.

His eyes relax and fall close as you feed him his drink. With him distracted by the alcohol, you spread your legs further and scoot closer so your so your sex bumps against his. You roll your hips. Perhaps getting him excited like this will entice him to finally sleep with you.

You jump. Jiraiya suddenly moved and gripped your hips. He pinned you so you could no longer grind against him. You focus back on his eyes. His are open again and more critical.

“Stop that. Just serve me my drink.”

“Sorry...”

He just nods and pushes you back slightly so you are no longer bumping uglies. Instead your butt falls into the voided space his criss crossed legs are folded in. It jumbled you a little and some of the alcohol spills onto your fingers. You stare at him for a moment.

Maybe he’s just not attracted to you. If that’s the case then why would he keep requesting you? It’s not like you’re a sparkling conversationalist. Nor are you the best server. There’s lots of different girls who can hold a cup more delicate and enticing than you can. Some even chance pouring the alcohol on their chest and neck to the clients have to suck it off of them. You tried it once, Jiraiya wasn’t so impressed. He more or less asked you how you were going to get the sake smell out of your kimono while patting dry your face with a cloth.

“Are you hungry? I could get you a meal.” You offer.

“Nah. I ate before I came.”

Oh... okay. As if to make you feel even more useless he takes the cup from you to fill his next cup himself. He gently took the bottle from you and filled his cup. He’s just as practiced at it as you are. Pouring to the perfect line with a steady hand.

You look over your hand. It’s still wet from the spill. Without much thought you lick your hand. Staring at him as you do so. It does make him pause. He watches your mouth carefully. You run your tongue over your fingers before popping one in your mouth. Slowly pushing it in and out to imitate a more lewd activity you’d like to perform on him.

“Why don’t you take advantage of me?” You ask softly. “You pay full price to have me, why don’t you do whatever you wish?”

You take your now clean hand away from your lips. You fix yourself to back on your knees. You lean forward and rest your head against his chest while running your hands down his torso. He’s warm. He’s beautiful. His body doesn’t got an ounce of fat on it. It’s all amazing firm muscles. Stroking it does make you wonder what’s under all his clothing. It’s hard to just tell with a flaccid bulge, but one can dream what lays under his pants. He’s carries himself like a man with a generous package.

“I am doing what I want with you.” Jiraiya answers. He drops the cup and bottle in favour of hugging you. “What’s wrong with what we have? Don’t you enjoy our time together?”

“Of course I do... I just... wish you wanted more.”

A bit of guilt does rise up, but it always falls back down once the context of the situation hits him. This is.... different. It’s hard to say exactly what. He just can’t bring himself to do that when it’s... not really consent. You’re so young too. It churns his stomach to see things like this. Just walking into this building and paying these people makes him sick. But... you’re a missing girl from his hometown. One lost and taken into an industry that shouldn’t even exist in the first place. But it does. It’s awful. So many lives have been ruined because of it.

Finding you was an accident. Jiraiya was given the opportunity to scope this brothel out for a mission. Asked to see what exactly is going on here since he’s in that part of the region. The very far end of Fire territory in some backwater sleazy town that makes its money from selling things under the table. Since both the Hokage and the Feudal Lord hate this place, it’s only natural to want to investigate just how bad it is. To think that his own territory holds a whore house is just icky. But they made a mistake in finally taking a girl from Konoha. They never had before this. It put them on the radar. Once it was officially found out, action had to be taken. In complete honesty, Tsunade was a little pissed that hardly a thing had been done to stop this place. She urged Jiraiya to continue to scope the place until he found out every nook, cranny, secret, and weakness of this god forsaken place.

Meeting you had relit the fire. The hope. So many emotions. You lived such a bad life and it’s not just the Hokage that feels the guilt of not acting sooner. Jiraiya continues to return because he feels that too. Your people failed you in the past. He failed you. It’s time to make it right. You were presumed dead. Your name engraved on that memorial stone. A girl fallen victim to a terrible fate to a predator. So many mistakes on his part led you to live a sad life.

To steal a young ninja who had barely gotten a taste for life had sparked all kinds of hell. People were pissed. The story was well known in Konoha. The first C rank mission that took a new genin team out of the village to near Fire Bay to seek out a herb that only grows there. Each student and their teacher split up to cover more ground with the only form of communication being the short range radios. From there it was mostly a mystery. The girl of the team cried out over the radio for help. The sounds of a struggle and then silence. The only thing found of her was her headband, which had been ripped violently off of her.

The most popular theory is that you, that poor young genin, had been stalked and watched by someone with bad intentions. Once you were isolated enough you were snatched. From there people speculate if it was deeper into the woods or to the pier. Ninja hounds tracked your scent both ways and got confused. The trail went cold after that... Not a clue of where you had gone ever found beyond your abandoned emblem. It was a tragedy different from the others Konoha had faced. None of their ninjas have ever been kidnapped under these circumstances before. No one knew what to make of it other than to be outraged at the perpetrators. Everyone was frustrated that there was no sign of you.

To think after nineteen years you’ve been in your homeland all this time. Well... to be fair you probably got traded through a few hands before ending up in this wretched place. It’s all just... unknowns. Despite Jiraiya’s best efforts, you haven’t said a thing about your past. The only reason he knows it’s you is because your face had barely changed from youth. More mature and certainly very beautiful, but the key features are there. It was so boggling that he was sure he was seeing things for a moment. The one time he pushed the limits of what he could do was pushing up your dress to see if you have that birthmark on your thigh he was told about by your mother. You do.... it really is you. Alive all this time.

The only reason Jiraiya hadn’t taken you away yet is mostly because he needed your trust. If you didn’t trust him, you could sell him out as a ninja to the organization that runs this town. They aren’t like a normal military force, but strength in numbers make them a deadly disorganized organization. He could be dragged out to the town square and put to death. Or he’d have to abandon mission completely. That is something he simply cannot chance. Not when he’s made so much progress with you. To have you slip through his fingers when he got so close to grasping you to safety would drive him crazy. Especially now... when his feelings are deeply intertwined with you. Seeing every bruise or cut on your body is just salt in the wound that reminds him that while he feels like he’s protecting you, it’s not enough. Buying you pretty things doesn’t chase away the monsters. Leaving you in the morning tore him up just a little more on the inside. He couldn’t be there to ward off all the other ‘clients’ that harm you for their own cheap thrills.

His feelings have only grown since starting this slow rescue. You are not only beautiful, but have such a genuine way about you. Despite all the horror you must have faced, you always smile. You have a kindness for others that still stays in tact no matter how those others have harmed you. Being close to you again after being so far away raises him up in a way. Long gone is his fatigue and pains when you hold onto him.

Maybe that’s what makes it... yucky. Jiraiya has shown you an inch of compassion and you took a mile. What’s worse is that he’s sure he’s the only man who has shown you respect and kindness. It would be so easy to take advantage of that and it feels weird. It’s why he does get you nice things. As a sort of apology. Plus you don’t have nice things. You look cute when you prance around in the things he got you. Even so there is still an end goal in your mind.

You don’t know how to express yourself without trying to get in his pants. It gets harder and harder every time. He wants to touch you. Fuck you. Make you gasp and cry his name in pleasure. Has a man ever taken the time to pleasure you? Probably not. But that’s not very professional. He can’t in good conscience do things like that to you while you are in this place or so emotionally vulnerable. It makes him just as bad as the men who come to this place just for the sex... if it can even be called that. It’s too violent and impersonal to be something like sex. The worst part is that there’s hardly any rules to this brothel. He’s heard horrible things happening to the women here. Their screams and begging chill his blood. His mind immediately flies to you and how many times you must have screamed like that. At the moment one of Jiraiya’s greatest fears is returning after a period of time only to discover that you had been killed by a client. He can’t wait anymore.

He’s gone quiet. You can almost hear Jiraiya as he thinks. His face is stuck in a thoughtful frown. When he didn’t reply to your question, you fixed yourself to look him in the eye. His gaze is unfocused and lost. He’s deep in his thoughts about something. You run your hands up and down his chest. Your eyes lower to focus on his lips. They aren’t frowned enough to be firm. They look relaxed enough...

You lean forward and press your lips against his. He flinched in surprise. Pulling back just before it got good. It sinks your heart further. Why? Why doesn’t he let you?

“Can’t I kiss you?” You ask. You run the hem of his shirt in between your first and second fingers. “Please let me at least kiss you.”

He’s quiet for a few moments. He plays with the fabric of your dress. Gripping and rubbing it with his hands at your lower back. Why must he think so hard about it?

“Alright.” He agrees. He raises his hand and waves it at you by your face like one would do to scold a child. “But just kissing.”

“Okay.” You are amused. He can be so stingy.

You slide your hands up to cradle the back of his neck. With a firm hold on that you angle your head and go in. He’s more cooperative this time. His lips moving and reacting to yours. It’s nice. Not too much. He doesn’t bite or devour like some do. Nor is he timid and stiff like the others. It’s just right. Gentle but not too soft. It’s caring.

Unafraid to push the boundaries, you move your tongue to press into his mouth. He hums. A short hum of enjoyment. His tongue isn’t afraid to play back. Pressing against yours and pushing it for a bit of fun. When that kiss broke, there was a moment for air. A breath. Then you go back in with your body pressed against his more firmly. Your hands moving to touch his skin again. Down his chest to the tie holding together his shirt. You pull it open before he could do a thing about it. He grabbed your wrists, but you push him back before he could pull them away. He lands in the pile of cushions flat on his back but comfortable. A few feathers fly as on cushion burst open from the force.

You keep him held in the kiss. You make it heated. The kisses short but biting. Nipping with tongues that clash against one another. He grunts when you touch his chest again. Stroking and touching his bare skin. Every rise and ridge of his body is so nice. Feeling every bit of it down to his bellybutton. Swirling your finger around it. He’s ticklish around there. A shiver coursing his body when you tease nerves not often touched.

“Wait...” Jiraiya whispers.

It’s not really convincing. He’s breathless. He’s into it. Pausing for only a moment to speak before going back in to suck your bottom lip. His hands are in different places now. One deep in your hair, playing with it and gripping it right by the roots. The other is running down your side before grazing your ass. He is attracted to you. He does want you. Perhaps tonight will be the night. He’s got some fair very soft and transparent hairs that led right to his crotch. You run your fingers down the trail until his pants get in the way.

Nice and slow. Jumping ship and going right in will spook him. Jiraiya has been so jumpy when you touch him. You tease the waistline of his pants. Tucking two fingers under the fabric and dragging them back and forth to tickle his senses. Get him aroused. Pleasure him. It’s your duty.

You chance breaking off the kiss. Jiraiya gasps in a breath of fresh air. As he pants you move down to kiss his neck. Your hand stalls around his waist, opting to twist your hand around so that it was facing downwards. With slow movements you flex your fingers to gently scratch over his skin, getting closer to his crotch. His pubic hair now grazing your fingertips. Excitement grows. This is the closest you’ve ever gotten. It’s now or never.

Touching the base of his cock filled you with validation. He’s hard. He is big. To have that inside of you. It’d be good. Better than half the men you get stuck with.

“Stop!”

With more anger Jiraiya grabs your wrist and yanked it back. To not hurt him you released your grip right away. He pulls you back by your hair as well. He throws you back to lay beside him as keeps you pinned there by holding the back of your neck while he crossed your arm over your chest to keep it from his body.

He’s flustered. Warm and flushed. His cheeks pink and even a little sweat by his temples. Looking hard enough you can see his pupils defined from his dark irises to see they are dilated. He’s aroused. Really aroused. You are too. Yet he stops this from happening.

“I know you want me, Jiraiya.” You call him out in a quiet voice. It was barely above the heavy laboured breathing you and him are doing. “Why do you deny what you want?”

His mouth opens. His eyes twitch around in small frantic movements as he looks you over. Does he tell you? Every single bit of his brain is telling him no. Don’t do it. It still feels like he’s taking advantage.

Is it really inappropriate to touch you a little? Probably. But one thing still sticks out in his head. That being you probably haven’t had a man take the time to give you a good time. Sometimes you mention how you completely escape from the situation you are going through while getting... pleasuring a client just to feel some kind of enjoyment. Good god that’s fucked. He wants to show you a good time... just not here.

He sighs and buried his face into the crook of your neck. He relaxes his grip on you, guilt poking at his guts for being so rough. He’s just horny and you are so god damn pretty. His heart aches to be with you like that... but not here. He moves his hands. Cradling your head and holding your hip. He hears and feels your chest move with a sigh. You put your arms around him, you aren’t mad at him. It didn’t hurt that much and he’s never been rough with you before. Perhaps you pushed too far.

“You mean a lot to me.” Jiraiya broke the strange silence.

He strokes your hip, chancing to sneak his hand under your disheveled kimono to touch your skin. It’s soft. It jerks at his heart when you flinch. He untucks his face from the cozy spot in your neck to look to see what was there. He can see your bare leg, part of your belly, a teasing bit of your chest along with your hip. The underwear you are wearing was flimsy and sheer. It left nothing to the imagination. The bruises and nail shaped cuts on your skin nauseated him. No one should treat another person like this.

It hurts, but you don’t want him to stop. The gentle caress was both soothing and aching to your sensitive wounds. No one but him touches you so softly. You watch him as he watchesyou. His eyes are downcast to look at your body. It’s not in admiration as you’d hope how he would look at you. It’s in worry and sorrow.

“Who hurt you?” He whispers. He sighs and his head rests on your shoulder as he continues to touch you with feather like strokes. “Who treats a woman like you so terribly?”

“No one worth your time.” You reply. You run your fingers down his arm until it rests on his wrist. “Neither am I... I’m just a whore.”

“You’re much more than that. Don’t think you are just this.”

“It’s all I am... no matter what you say.” You utter so quiet he almost missed it. You turn your head to meet his eyes, which were still empathetic. With an accepting smile you caress his face. Tears threaten your vision as you say the sad truth. “You are the only man that makes my life worth while. But you leave the next day like everyone else I see. You are different to me but I’m nothing to you. I know what I am and I’ll be like this until I get too old for anyone to want me anymore.”

“No! You... I..” Jiraiya struggles to find a sentence. He put his arm under you and pulled you close. The closeness of a good loving hug is something you haven’t had in your life since you were a child. Hearing you sob as you cling to him only motivates him more. You need to get out of here. “I meant it when I said that you mean something to me. I don’t... I won’t leave you again.”

“Yes you will. You can’t take me with you. I’m just something pretty for you to love for a night.”

“You are more than that.” He presses his lips against your cheek before raising himself that little bit to catch your lips. “I want to take you away. I want to bring you home.”

“Home?... I-I have no home other than this. This is all I am! It’s all I ever will be!”

Is that what you really think? He looks you over curiously. He shakes his head slowly. Do you remember anything? Do you remember the village? Have you endured so much you don’t remember your life before coming here? Do you even remember your parents? The very people who threw all their money at him while begging him to keep on this mission because they love you so much. They didn’t have to. He’s doing this for free, to set things right. While he’s not supposed to be so emotional, his feelings are far too intertwined with you, your past, and your fate. They’ve seemed to have set their blame aside and trust him to do this. He might even love you. He cares more than he should about you. You are much more to him than just a missing comrade or mission objective... Seeing you again has kindled feelings he didn’t expect.

“You were born in Konoha, the Village Hidden in the Leaves.” Jiraiya spoke slowly. Speaking about this felt almost strange. He holds your gaze with his, searching for any kind of familiarity. When he saw none, he continued. “A military village that helps people. You were... are one of us.”

“Us?” You ask. “You belong to this village?”

“Yes. No one important, but I’m proud to call it home.” He said with a tad bit of amusement.

“And I belong to this village?”

He nods. He’s so sure, but you aren’t. You don’t remember anything like that. You stare at him in confusion.

“I.... Are you sure?” You ask. “I think you are mistaken, Jiraiya. I was born and raised here.”

“I’m sure. I... I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through to remember things differently.” He said with that look you don’t like that much. The empathy. The understanding of something he can’t possibly know. “I have proof. If you want to see.”

You nod slowly. Maybe he is telling the truth. You watch him as he walks over to his pack. He crouches down and pilfered through it. It only took a few moments. He stands with the proof in hand. It looks to be a photograph. He offers it out for you to take. You’re too curious not to.

You grab the photo from him and look it over. It’s of you. As a child. With an adult behind you and two other children beside you. Everyone is posing happily. You have your arms around the two boys of your team with a big cheesy grin. The adult is posed behind you in a crouch ruffling the two boy’s heads. But the man. The adult in the picture... It’s...

“Many years ago... I took my team on a mission to gather herbs to cure an outbreak of fever in Konoha.” Jiraiya said softly. He walked around you slowly as he spoke until he was standing behind you. His arms wrap around you and his lips rest by your ear. “But I made a call I regret to this day. I split my team up to cover more ground, since the outbreak was serious and so many people were sick we had to get as much as we could.... but the girl of my team was taken. Because of my mistake there was no one there to save her.”

You don’t reply. You stare at the photo. You in the middle... that blond boy to your right and a black haired boy to your left. You can’t recall their names... but it’s annoyingly on the tip of your tongue before flying away from your mind leaving it a mystery. The only one you know is the adult, because he is the man that’s been keeping you happy these past months. With a younger Jiraiya in the middle behind you. Because... he was your teacher.

Jiraiya-sensei was a good teacher. Passionate and believed in all three of his students. He was funny too... he always found a way to make you laugh. When he suggested splitting up to gather as many herbs as possible, you were eager to do this mission. You had fallen behind your teammates and wanted to eagerly to prove to them and sensei that you aren’t to be underestimated. He set a perimeter to stay in... but you ignored that. You went well outside of it, eager to gather more herbs than your friends to prove you can keep up with them.

Then someone grabbed you while you were elbows deep in the dirt. Two large hands grabbed you by the waist and lifted you out of the dirt. At first you figured it was Jiraiya, ready to scold you for going out of range of the radios. You turned to see there are two men looming over you that you didn’t know. Your heart sunk to your shoes. They asked you if you were lost. They told you to come with them. Fear gripped you. You weren’t sure what to do. You broke into a run back into the perimeter. Just as your foot crossed into the range, you hit the button to call for help. You knew they were on your heels. Just as you yelp, one of them grabbed your belt, which had been fashioned out of your still shiny unweathered headband. The fabric snapped and the moment of give have you hope. But it was quickly squished when a hand smacked over your mouth and you were pulled against the body of one of the men you didn’t know....

That’s... all you remember. That’s all you want to remember. Your legs go numb. There’s a fuzziness in your head. Like a nest of angry wasps were buzzing around in there. You don’t hit the ground. Jiraiya braced you just in time, holding you against him so you face plant. He sunk to his knees slowly with you resting on his legs like a seat. He still held you so tenderly. Lovingly.

“I’m sorry. I failed you.” Jiraiya spoke quietly against your ear again. He nuzzled his face against your hair and sighed. “Out of all of my students, I always considered how I failed you the worst. The... others died, but never knowing what happened to you ate me alive.”

You reach your hand up and place it on his head. You pet him, wanting to comfort him. He has no reason to apologize. It’s not his fault those men followed you. You disobeyed and in your eager child mind, you wanted to prove your worth which lead to your downfall.

“Sensei?...” You utter.

“Yeah?” His voice his quiet and emotional, like calling him that title again brought him back to that day. It probably had.

You cuddle closer to him, shifting closer and placing your hand on his. It’s odd to be in this position. You have pieces of your past. You’ve known this man longer than a few months. You’ve known him for so long... how could you forget? He’s grown since last you’ve seen him. He’s still handsome. And wonderful. He knows exactly how to melt away your worries and make you laugh. As he’s always done.

“Don’t let me go... okay?”

“Never!” He promises. He holds you tighter. He presses his lips against your head. “I’m never letting go again.”

For some time, you cuddle with Jiraiya. He’s content to hold you. Occasionally he’ll kiss you or take in a deep breath of your scent. He did release one arm from your middle to instead play with your hair. Long slow sweeping motions that brushed your hair from your face. It’s tender the way he does it.

“What do you remember?” He asks.

“... Not much. Just that day when I was taken.”

“Okay. That’s okay. I’m glad you do remember something.”

You flip around in his grasp and straddle his waist. You hold his cheeks to keep him still as you kiss him. He’s a bit hesitant at first, but does melt and relax into a good kiss. He holds your hips with a light grip. A flair of pain pokes at where he holds you. He mutters an apology. You tell him it’s okay. It’s not his fault you get gripped there harder by worse men. Maybe one day you’ll grow the courage to tell him some of your stories.

“Let me take you away? Let me take you home?” Jiraiya asks. He presses his forehead against yours.

“Home?... But where will I stay?”

“Wherever you feel safe. Your parents miss you, you could stay with them.”

“Parents...”

“Yeah. Your mom and dad.”

Your confused scowl isn’t assuring. Jiraiya awaits you to say something. He has no idea where your mind is at. But that look you have is saying that it’s not going to be happy.

“I don’t... remember parents.” You finally say. You wrap your arms around him with your head placed on his shoulder. “Can’t I stay with you, sensei? You’re all I remember.”

He sighs. Of course you don’t. Poor thing. It seems you only have fractures of memories. Which is fine. He can’t force you to remember. Nor will he force you to stay with people you don’t know, even if those people are your parents.

“Okay. You can stay with me.” He agrees. He gives the side of your head a kiss. “But only until you get your feet on the ground.”

It’s hard to believe him. He doesn’t seem to want to let you go. That’s fine. Maybe living with him will make him realize he shouldn’t let you go. You could be his. Only his.

“So!” You chirp and sit up straight to look at him. “How will we make our daring escape?”

“Quietly.” His answer is surprisingly dull. He gave you a kiss and then smiles at you. “Later in the night, I’ll take you out the window and we’ll run away together.”

“Okay. But what will we do to pass the time?”

A hint of a blush grows on his cheeks. He smirks at you before leaning forward enough until you are underneath him. Your kimono falls open more, enticing him. It’s still not the time.

“We spend it getting reacquainted.” Jiraiya states in confidence.

You chuckle. He falls to the side and lays there. From there it’s exactly as he said. You lay beside him, curled up all cozy with him. The hours spent talking was much more personal this time. You opened up to him... a little. It’s not fun to talk about what you go through. It’s better when he talks. It’s happier. He talks about the fun things that’s happening in the village like it’s growth and the people he finds interesting.

By midnight, Jiraiya enacts his plan. The talking got interrupted long ago by kissing. He held your ass and hips occasionally rutted against yours. He still pulled away your hands if you tried to pull on his pants. He suddenly pulled away, leaving you breathless and excited. You lay there for a few moments, wondering why he would stop. He shuffles along time grab his things and equips his armour. You sit up and crawl to him.

He sighs and picks you up as if you were a misbehaving cat. He set you on your feet. You pout at your teacher as he closes your kimono and ties it tightly to make sure it stays closed.

“Do you have any belongings you want to take with you?” Jiraiya asks.

You shake your head. There’s nothing you own worth saving. Would you even want to bring anything? Anything from here holds a hefty reminder of it. Even the things Jiraiya got you feel strange now. A fresh start sounds better.

“Okay. Let’s go.” He says.

To your surprise and delight, Jiraiya picked you up off of your feet into a bridal carry. He carries you to the window and crawls through it. The night air was refreshing. A squeak escapes you when he jumped off the ledge and flew down to the ground. He lands safely. He takes a glance around before running with you into the thick of the nearby woods.

You clung to him tightly. For an hour he carried you, gaining that all important distance from that crime town. Just in case. He didn’t want anyone on his tail looking for you. Thankfully the late night escape was the best call. No one suspected that you had left nor that your favourite client had taken you. He came to a stop eventually. He set you on your feet. He didn’t seem tired, just looking to you for input.

“Did you want to stop?” Jiraiya asks.

“No. I want to go home.”

He looked happy with that answer. He smiles at you and presses a kiss against your head. You held his hand instead of him carrying you. That solitude and safety of Konoha is something... you don’t remember, yet miss. He talked about it in such a away that you could feel that community. A community that missed you. But in a way... you don’t miss home. It won’t feel like home without Jiraiya there. It’s... hard to explain. A part of you just knows that if he left you then the village wouldn’t be home. He’s the only memory of home you have.

He pulls you along, leading the way. He pace was always slowed by you stopping suddenly. You got this childlike wonder to everything you see. It’s just a weirdly cold reminder that you haven’t been outside like this since you were on his team. It’s a whole new world out here for you. The paths he and every other Leaf shinobi has memorized are all new to you. A tug yanks his heart out fo place for a moment. If only he had partnered himself with you all those years ago. If he had kept an eye out. Not fail his job as a teacher... then this would be so different. You could have been a skilled ninja.

“What?” You ask. You tilt your head at him and grin. “You’re looking at me weird again.”

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Jiraiya dismisses with a shrug.

It’s best he doesn’t say. The important thing is that you’re safe now. You run ahead a few times only to squeak and run back to his side. You clung onto his arm more often whenever people were around. You don’t like crowds. Not surprising since you grew up in a segregated brothel. From the little you told him, you slept in your own little futon with other girls in a slave quarters but none of them really liked you. You slept in the corner slot away from everyone. The only real joy in life you found was pleasing your customers.

“Hey,” he tugged you back when you began to wag away towards a good stall. You look up at him with your full attention. “No one is allowed to request anything of you here, you know what I mean? You can say no to anyone. Including me.”

You nod. Yes you know what he means. Even so the concept is oddly foreign. You were raised to never say no. You didn’t have ownership over your own body. Is he saying you do now? How odd. To have the legitimate power to refuse someone from touching you.

“Which one is your house?” You ask.

“We’ll get to that. First we have to report in to Tsunade.”

“Who?”

“Our leader. She’s... nice...ish. Just hang tight. We’ll let her know you are home, the living arrangements we decided on and your future here.”

“My future...” Now that’s a thing you hadn’t pondered yet. The only immediate future you thought of is being home alone with dear old sensei. Maybe it’s okay not really knowing what you want.

You continue to hold onto him tightly, afraid of the now morning bustle of people. The streets are full. It’s noisy. He leads you to a building that was taller than most. It was circular in structure. Climbing all the stairs was a task in itself. He stops before a door at the end of this winding structure. It looks big. Important. He knocks on the door and a female voice tells him to enter. He does so with you holding on so tightly he’s sure his arm may just fall off from lack of circulation.

The woman on the other side seemed pleased to see him. She’s quite pretty. Blonde and busty. She carries herself with authority but isn’t mean. Unlike madam, the woman who was in charge of you back at the brothel. Her eyes lands on you. She looks relieved to see you.

“Welcome back, both of you.” She greets.

You listen to her and Jiraiya talk. He fills her in on the past day and what he’s discovered. Which was that you have hardly any memories and have no where to stay. She came to a similar conclusion he first did.

“I know your parents will take you back in. They’ve missed you.”

“Uh, that’s another problem.” Jiraiya kindly interjected before she could continue. He pointed at you. “She doesn’t remember them either... I’m the only one she does remember. I was wondering if it was okay if I watch after her until we restore some more memories.”

Tsunade cocks a brow. She looks him over slowly with a certain amount of suspicion in her gaze. Then she looked at you.

“Are you okay with that? Did you want to stay with Jiraiya?”

You nod. You’d like nothing more.

“Okay. You may stay with him, but at some point I insist you meet with your parents.”

“Co... Could I have a few days?” You ask. “Just to get my bearings. It’s all so much to be around.”

She agrees. Thankfully, she didn’t ask what you plan on doing with your new found freedom. You still aren’t sure. Is it too late to become a shinobi? You are over thirty... you think. Or do you find a normal job, whatever those are. It seems you must ask Jiraiya for guidance. You continued to cling to him once back in the streets. The sights and sounds only grow louder as noon gets closer. He chuckles at your shock and discomfort, but assures you that you’ll adjust.

His home is small. An apartment that he occupies whenever he stays more than a few days. So he travels for a living? Seems to be so. There’s no personal belongings in the apartment that make it shine as his. But he promises that it’s safe and that you are welcome to stay for as long as you like. Will he leave? Hopefully not.

You put your arms around him. Jiraiya was quick to return the embrace. It still feels safe. It always has. Perhaps a part of you always did remember. He was always someone you could trust. There’s a sanctuary here with him. Even when you ached from the mishandling of others, you could never doubt him.

“Will you touch me now?” You ask.

“... I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? I want you to.” You raise your head to look up at him.

“You want me to?” He questions, but looks genuinely pleased.

“Yeah, why is that odd?”

Instead of a straight answer, Jiraiya kisses you. His hands rest on your lower back instead of your hips. When the kiss broke, he places a few small kisses along your cheek and neck.

“I know it’s odd, but didn’t you notice?” He asks you.

“Notice what?”

“You’re asking me. You have a choice and you know that.”

You furrow your brow at his observation. It is odd to you, but it’s progress to him. You are healing. You know that you have no obligations to do anything with him. There’s a genuine attraction you feel for him and you want to act on it. Which is great, because he’s wanted to do things to you for a while now! That feeling of guilt no longer held him back.

“Tell me at any point if you want to stop or if you don’t like something, okay?” Jiraiya tells you.

He held your eyes when he said that to drive home the point. You may have the freedom but you are new to them. The privileges that were stripped from you must be relearned. That’s something no one should go through, but at least you are free now. You have a future. A part of him feels vindicated. It doesn’t make what happened to you right, but he feels better knowing he’s done something right for you. He could at least right this wrong... which is a first. All the other wrongs in his life seem concrete. Then again... he thought that about this one too.

“Okay I will.” You promise.

He went back down to kiss your neck. As he does his fingers graze the knot holding your dress together. You utter his name softly. You cradle his head and grip his hair. It does feel good. His hands are gentle. They are careful of where your injuries are, but they now feel like they belong to a past life. These injuries won’t happen again. They don’t need to weight you down. Not with Jiraiya to kiss them better.

For the first time he lets you touch him. His chest and hips. Under his clothing and what he looks like under all those layers. You lay in his bed with him on top. He listened when you asked for certain things. He stopped when you even flinched and asked if you were okay. For the first time this activity that once ruled your life felt amazing. He made it feel amazing. So good your body was almost overwhelmed. He was mighty proud to keep count of how many times he made you climax.

In a way it almost felt like a dream. Satisfied and happy for what felt like the first time. Free to do whatever you want. Beside a man who means the world to you. The best part being he won’t leave in the morning with a promise of return in a month or so. Jiraiya does mean the world to you. There’s no way you’d be parted from him. All this worry of the future and where your path leads isn’t so scary if he’s here to help guide you.

It’s comfortable in bed with him. With his body pressed against your back. His heat seeping into you. Feeling every shift and breath he makes. He lays a pattern of kisses along your shoulder to your neck to into your hair. He pauses there to breathe in deeply and sigh it out. Your hand was captive by his.

It feels warm. Cozy. It feels like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda wanted to set it up as and oh shit type of reveal so I kept it a little vague on purpose for the drop. Hope you like my dear readers! It’s a concept I’ve written and rewritten like four times as it was something I came up with when I first started writing this series. I gotta say this final product is something I’m proud of as it wraps up pretty nicely and you can come up with your own conclusions for what kind of future reader has.


	60. Till Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dying with someone you love isn’t a bad way to go... but what if there’s more to the end of life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for blood, injury, death. It’s a bit of a bummer this week.

The vow of till death do us part was always one that always seemed... superficial. Something someone has to promise to their spouse when they marry. It’s simply part of the process. Surely it’s just a formality.

Yet in a world like this, one with conflict and people who hold great power, lots of spouses lose their other half. There’s lots of widows in this world of shinobi. It’s a problem no one wants to talk about. It’s a problem you didn’t want to face. Mourning over the one you love most isn’t how you wish to spend your days. It’s why you insisted on coming.

More than anything in this cold world, you love your husband. For over half your life you have been with Jiraiya. While this world could be so bleak he made it better. The warmth and comfort he offers not just to you but others makes everything better. It’s one of his many qualities that people often miss.

How could you send him off to fight a fight like this by himself? You love him. It would be too hard to watch him go on to fight a hopeless fight and simply stand by. No matter how much it hurt, you’ll fight by his side until the end. It seems that end is now.

You no longer squirm. There’s no point. You cannot escape. Too much blood has been lost. Too many things are broken or fractured. You are in the merciless hands of the enemy. There’s only one conclusion this fight will come to. There is honour in dying for someone you love.

Beaten down and pinned, Jiraiya is begging on your behalf. He’s bleeding. He’s no doubt in pain, but he didn’t care. You can’t move. Or escape. You sit on your hands and knees, exhausted and barely holding onto life. He can’t stand to see it. He didn’t want to see it. Maybe if he yelled loud enough you’ll be spared.

“Please! It’s me you want! Don’t touch her!” Jiraiya is frantic. He’s weak and barely holding on as well, but he didn’t care. “Let her live!”

If you could speak, you would. You’d hush him. What’s the point in begging? Pain has no empathy. The four people around you care not for your love’s wishes. No matter how he pleads for your life. Only one of the paths holds you from behind. His cold hand gripping your head like a vice. The main one, one Jiraiya did recognize and once cared for, was standing in the middle. The other two were holding back your husband as he grew more frantic and panicked. His distress was clear. He cared not of his image or saving face in front of the enemy. You are about to be killed and he can’t stay calm.

The main Pain lacked emotion. There’s not even a whisper of empathy in him. He cared not for his teacher’s begging. Killing you will cause pain. Sensei deserves pain. That was clear even if his face was vacant. There’s hate there even if the man is good at concealing how he feels.

Your tired eyes raise to your reaper. Pain was now facing you. Ignoring the louder more distressed pleas of Jiraiya to leave you alone. He’s struggling hard in the grasps of his captors. The little strength he was holding onto was being ill spent on his emotionally fuelled need to try. His arms are pinned behind him but he’s trying to desperately to break them free. No matter how his bones crunch under the inhuman strength of the puppet like creatures holding him hostage. It didn’t matter how it hurt. You are more important. For you he’d withstand the worst torture so long as you are spared.

Pain didn’t even flinch when Jiraiya tried to kick him. Anything to gain his attention or anger him so you don’t fall. That’s all Jiraiya wanted. That was clear. But the more he showed how much he cared and fought to fight for your life, the more he only revealed how much he loved you. That love is his downfall. His greatest weakness but his greatest strength. For if you fall what does he have left to fight for?

A small whimper escapes your aching throat when your head is yanked back. You’ve taken many hits for the man you love. That included getting in the way and taking the hit to his neck that would have silenced him. He managed to say the message to Fukasaku before the toad disappeared into the water. He could barley babble it out as the flood of blood that came from your lips horrified him. He held onto you as you had crashed into him after taking the blow. His own head was bleeding from the hard kick to the head he got instead of getting his throat crushed. If it were up to him, he would have taken both blows for you.

You can barely breathe. Your voice is rendered useless. There’s lots you wish to still say, but there’s no time or voice you have to say it. But he got to say what he needed. It was the small victory that would lead to the big one. With that information being taken to Tsunade and by extension Naruto, then Pain will fall. Not even this guy can handle your favourite annoying blond.

There’s a sound that cut Jiraiya off for a moment. His breath hitches in both fear and realization. Those black rods that Pain prefers to use as weapons. One slid out casually from the man’s sleeve with a clear intention. It drags against the fabric of the cloak, making a soft but announcing noise like a zipper being pulled. Your death will be that of a single strike. Pain had impaled Jiraiya with a few already. His shoulder and by extension his arm rendered almost completely useless with the cold metal pierced deep in his flesh. He just wants it to stop!

Sigh. So this is how it happens. You shut your eyes for a moment to take in a deep breath. It calms you down. Acceptance. You accept his fate. For the sake of your darling husband, you’ll take it as peacefully as possible. You open your eyes again and stare at the grey sky for a moment. The overcast is suited for this. Dim and gloomy like death itself. You lower your gaze and connect it with Jiraiya’s. His are wide with that horrified realization. They’re pleading. Pleading for what, it’s hard to say. Whether it’s for you so do something or for Pain to stop. Perhaps he simply wishes he could look away....

He’s really handsome isn’t he? Strange how the things you are used to looking at become so beautiful in the last moments. You’ve been looking at this man for many years. There was never a doubt that you love and are attracted to him, but had become used to it. At the moment it feels as if you hadn’t appreciated how good you had it. That body. That face. Every little laugh and smile. How he blushes whenever he asks you something intimate. All the times he held you or peeped on you for the hell of it. All those kisses and little moments that seemed too little to remember. Now they come to mind as you chose to stare Jiraiya in the face rather than death.

Those eyes you know so well. Black like the deep night. Steady and vast like a calm ocean. No matter what they faced they never came to panic or fear. But it’s different now. They are glossy and filled with terror.

“No...” He whispers.

You smile, to offer him comfort without words. It’s going to be okay. Yet this shall be the last you smile. For nothing can be done to stop it. That last thing you want to see is Jiraiya’s face. The face of the person you love so much. The wells in his eyes overflowed and for the first time in years he was crying.

Pain overwhelmed your system. You cry out quietly. A soft whimper you can’t help but say as you are speared on the pole. It was in the centre of your chest. Tears you didn’t know you had filled your eyes broke and fell down your cheeks. You shut your eyes.... There’s not much your eyes can focus on. Your hearing seems to fade into muffles. The last thing that registered was the shriek of anguish from your beloved. It echoes around in the ruins. It echoes around in your head. Oh Jiraiya...

The grip on him released. Jiraiya fell to his knees. His legs feel like jelly. He fell like a sack of bricks to the cold concrete ground. He cries out again, unsure what to do. Seeing your slumped body had broken him. His will to fight lacking at the sight of you limp and bleeding. The robotic humans around him are far from his awareness. He didn’t care. He was only let go so they could revel in his anguish. They watch like statues as he makes the first step to get to you.

He makes a pathetic whimper when one of those rods are stabbed into his hand, pinning him to the ground. A pair of pale feet enter his view and he can barely muster the strength to look up at his student. His long lost student. One who had strayed so far from the path he didn’t know how to get back to it. Nor did Jiraiya know how to bring him back to it.

Those once bright eyes were no longer there. Now they are cold and barren of any emotion. They stare down at him. He’s nothing more than prey at the feet of a calculated predator.

“You said you could never hate me. Let me ask you again.” Pain... Yahiko... Nagato... said in a voice unsuited of someone who was so joyful in living life. “Do you hate me now, sensei? I killed the person most precious to you.”

“...” Jiraiya didn’t have an answer.

He’s upset.... like that needed to be said. You’re dying in front of him. Probably already dead and he didn’t know how to deal. His emotions are running rampant inside of him. His head is spinning. So is his vision. His stomach is cramping like he ate bad food. He’s shaking. All the injuries he gained had numbed.

All his physical pain was numbed because of his emotional pain. This is what the pain of loss does. He’s felt it so many times. Perhaps in a different situation it would have steeled him to make one last stand against his enemy. But this boy still doesn’t feel like an enemy. It feels like a soul who is lost and corrupted by others. If only he could have done more, to keep his lost students on the right path. Now you’re dead because of a mistake he made.

He never expected to feel it again when it came to you. He always expected to die before you. In a way... he wanted to. Just to be selfish and not endure the head spinning confusion and agony of losing the person he loved the most. It wasn’t supposed to end like this! You should’ve stayed home! He shouldn’t have just insisted. He could have left you in bed and gone while you slept. Or tie you to the headboard. Something! Anything! This was his fate, not yours.

With his body flooded with one last bout of willpower. He gains a surge of strength. One goal in mind motivated him forward. He sat up on his knees. He just... needed to hold you. His hand didn’t feel like his own. Sliding up the pole hurt, but it was disembodied. His bones are crushed and flesh ripped. It felt like sliding his hand around a wet half melted popsicle. It’s cold and slimy. His blood runs up it and stains it like a twist of strawberry to the blackberry.

His mangled hand was numb and useless. It tingles like it’s asleep. It’s hard to put weight on it. Jiraiya miscalculated how much he could and slid. His arm and hand buckling under him before he could compose himself. His teeth painfully clashed together as his chin hit the ground. The taste of blood filled his mouth again. It takes a few blinks to wash away the new wave of tears that blurred his tunnelling vision. When it focused, his target was still there. You. Unmoving.

The paths simply watch this losing struggle. More out of vague interest. What lengths will a man go to get to the one they love most? What sacrifices will they make? Poking him with their weapons only slowed him down, but never stopped him. Not even when one pierced his leg. Or his lower back. Blood is pouring out of him. It’s leaving a thick trail in his wake. He didn’t care.

“Why do you focus on her? She’s dead.”

Jiraiya manages a weak shake of his head. Pain can antagonize him. He won’t respond. You are just out of reach. He collapses further to crawling. He claws at the ground. His fingers split and bleed as he drags himself with whatever he has left in him.

“Wouldn’t your energy be better spent on me? I killed her. Don’t you hate me?”

He shakes his head. Maybe he does feel some kind of hate for his old student, but it’s useless to feel that way. Seeing you so weak and bloody overwhelmed his anger into anguish. If he had the time he would just sit there and wail. He’d scream for hours if he could.

A part of him does feel wronged. Those surges of ire snuff out within the same beat they come alive. It’s just not something he believes in. What’s the point in fighting a battle he cannot win? He just barely managed to take out two with your partnership. These moments are precious. He can’t spend them swinging weak punches for no good reason. Not when you are so close by. He doesn’t want to get mad. It will do nothing. He just wants you.

His hand gripping yours flooded him with relief. It’s deceptively warm. He grits his teeth before expending his energy to hoist himself back to his knees and wrapping his arms around you. The rod that was pulled from your chest has left you bleeding heavily. If only holding you would stitch you back together.

“I.... I’m sorry.” Jiraiya whispers by your ear. He buries his face into that crook of your neck he finds so comfortable. “I never should have let you come.”

Your limp head lulls and hits his shoulder. It was almost like you were hugging him. As if cuddling. With yours and his bodies so comfortable in finding those spots where humans are made to hold one another.

For some reason... they let him cry. They let him hold you and mourn. Perhaps they still expect him to find his resolve and put up a fight. He can’t. He’s... tired. He’s lost what he loves most. A future without you is one he does not want to live in. Besides he’s already passed down not only his will but yours as well to Naruto. In a different world he would have rather you still be there for Naruto. Holding you in the final moments was good too.

While the whole death do us part vow as a promise he did always expect to fulfil, but he never expected to fulfil it with you. Jiraiya sighs quietly before shutting his eyes and fully nestling into you. That slithering sound of metal agains fabric zipped behind him. His end is now. A soft grip on his leg surprises him. You are... barely holding on. Your jaw ever so slightly flexes and a weak gargle comes deep from your throat.

“Shhh...” He whispers. “I love you.”

It’s best if you don’t wake. You’ve endured enough. There’s no reason for you to feel this final attack. There’s pain. It’s white and searing. Through his back, coming out of his chest and then piercing you. He grimaced and coughed up blood.

“I’m disappointed in you, sensei. To be so loyal to the dead for what reason?” Pain asks flatly. “Because you love her? Is that all there is to it?”

There’s a push that lurches his and yours body towards the edge of the ruined ground towards the water. With what little strength Jiraiya has, he braces his hand on the ledge to keep from falling in. He does have something to say.

“Love is what drives this world forward... I’m sorry you can’t see that anymore.”

“Love only brings pain. That’s all I have learned from you.”

“...Then I’m sorry. I never was a good teacher.”

A small smile grows on Jiraiya’s face. He was sorry. There’s so much of the past he wishes he could change. His hand slips and he falls into the water with you.

Water fills his lungs. No doubt yours as well. He doesn’t fight or thrash. The last little peek Jiraiya takes of the world is watching the surface slip farther away. He looks over to you. Your eyes closed like you are asleep against him. The last small bubble of air slides out of your mouth.

Life was... good with you. Every failure and mistake he made was comforted by you. It was made better by you. You are the only thing he’s done right. Death is.... comfortable with you. He shuts his eyes. Love is a strange wonderful thing. He can’t stop smiling. For some reason....

It gives him an idea for a book....

...

With a strangled gasp, he opens his eyes. The darkness of night met Jiraiya’s gaze. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust. He’s staring at the flat smooth surface of his ceiling. With each blink it comes more in focus as the tears in his vision fall away down the sides of his face. His heart his pounding and mouth feels dry. He’s sweaty and tense.

Every year. The same day. The same dream. It’s all so clear when he’s asleep, then when he awakes it turns into fragments. Being killed by a man he knows he still loves despite the circumstances. Accepting it all since the blame is on him. Dying in the arms of this beautiful woman he knows he loves. Her name and who she was is something he can barely hold onto. Thankfully this year he knows this woman now. He rolls over to face you. You are whining and whimpering in your sleep. Your legs shuffling back and forth as if you are trying to swim. He pulls you close and hushes you. Your fitting dies down. Your head nuzzles against his shoulder while your fingers grip at his shirt.

Finding you again was wonderful. It was something he looked forward to. He just had a feeling he would find this woman he dreams about... He already knew her once before. Once he saw you it filled him with recognition and a warmth that he couldn’t describe. It was the type of euphoria that no drug could ever bring. This time he met you at a convention at a panel about his fantasy novel. It brought back memories of meeting you in a previous life with similar circumstances. At a desk, signing a copy of a book he had wrote and well... asking you out. Needless to say it went well.

Why he was reborn is a question he does not have an answer to. Why is his life so good this time around? With family and wealth. Yet no matter how well his books did or how much fun he had with his siblings, it felt incomplete. Finally finding you had clicked in that missing piece. This time he found you while very young. Both you and him are in early twenties. Hopefully that means a lifetime of happiness. Perhaps the dream and those fragments of his past life is the penance for reincarnation. Hopefully it’s the only penance. All these annoying little questions he has that can’t be answered seems like punishment enough as he’ll puzzle over them for the rest of his life. Fate wouldn’t give him such a wonderful new life just to steal it from him, would it?

“J-Jiraiya!” You wail as you thrash in his arms.

“It’s okay! You’re okay.” He coos at you.

You startle awake, but you continue to shake. You look around before looking up. Up to your darling husband. A man how had been familiar to you since childhood. The man you’ve been dreaming about was real. As handsome as you had always dreamed it would be. Only younger now, but you know what he’ll age to be. In a way you look forward to it. He’s gorgeous now but time treats him well. Seeing him safe and unharmed filled you with relief. Yet you aren’t entirely sure why you are so worried.

“Bad dream, babe?” Jiraiya asks with a smile.

“Yeah...” You confirm quietly.

“What do you remember?”

“I got hurt... I think I died and you had to watch.”

“Anything else?”

“I... don’t know. I think there was water.”

He hums and doesn’t press further. Strangely enough he has found that he has the most memories of his last life. You don’t remember much aside from knowing he is your soulmate. Tsunade recalls nothing. Not even Orochimaru seems to remember any kind of past lives. Ironically neither of them believe in it. It’s just wonderful to have them in his life again. They’re both successful doctors doing good in the world in different fields. They are his life long friends that always have time to hang out or be in a call with him. No matter how busy the three of them are... It’s nice that he can have them around to talk. Whenever he tries to bring it up as smoothly as possible, they don’t really know what he’s talking about or scoff at him for believing in something that cannot be proved. They just always figured he had an overactive imagination. Which isn’t far from the truth. His other friends, students, family he had made in his last life he hadn’t encountered yet. It’s something he looks forward to, but doesn’t think too much about.

His phone vibrates. He twists his arm back to the nightstand and brings it up behind your head to look at it without cutting you off from his vision. You sniffle and shut your eyes in a cringe. You are tired but still shaken up. He leans his head down until his lips are rested against your head. He flinches as the screen light blinds him for a heartbeat. He swipes up to unlock it to the less bright sight of his background. Once he recovers from the flash of light he takes note of the two notifications in his text app. Who is up at three am? Opening the app revealed the same message from his friends.

‘Are you okay?’

Maybe they don’t remember but perhaps they too dream of something bad? From what he remembers they weren’t there when he died. But they are his best friends, maybe they just feel something is wrong. He replied to them both, assuring them he’s okay. He locks his phone again and tucks it away under his pillow. He focuses again on comforting you.

“Go back to bed.” Jiraiya whispers.

“I don’t think I can. I don’t want to dream about that again.”

“It’s just a dream, love. I promise nothing like that will happen.”

“Okay...” You say quietly. You shift around as you try to get comfortable. “You’re right. It is just a dream.”

You aren’t sure if that’s true. It’s more than just a dream, but you aren’t sure wha tit means. Your body moves with a deep sigh. He rubs your back and rocks you against him. Your leg hooks around his waist and hands move to his upper back to hold him like a sloth to a branch. He puts a kiss on the top of your head. He lingers and takes in a deep breath of your scent. Already you are at ease again. He does have a mysterious way with you that’s hard to place. He just knows you more than anyone else does. It was as if he was born to be your partner. 

“I love you.” You mutter in a groggy voice. You snuggle up closer with your face against the crook of his neck. It is an odd more cuddly parody of how he held you when... when you died with him. “Jiraiya... That dream...”

Before you could dwell, he cradled your head to stay there. He shifts his hips and feet as he always does when he gets comfortable. He keeps holding you, rocking you slowly to lull you. He didn’t want to speak about it right now.

“Don’t worry about it. We can talk more about it in the morning.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” He swears it. He pecks your forehead with a kiss. “I love you too. Let’s get some sleep.”

Your body relaxes. Soon your deep even breathing is all Jiraiya can focus on. For a moment there’s a flicker of fear as he awaits for you to stop. You never do. It’s just... irrational fear. After a deep breath, he shut his eyes.

It is just a dream. He smiles to himself.

But it would make for a good book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A strange way to open the most wonderful time of the year, but I need a bit of a buffer as I work on a request and think about holiday chapter ideas. Plus I haven’t made you guys sad in a while. Low key love the snippet of the modern reborn life you and him are living. Personally I think he deserves a happy ending like this but idk if you guys will agree with the choice I made. I just wanted to not make this totally depressing. But I do believe that if Jiraiya had a spouse, they wouldn’t let him go alone and it would end up going like this.


	61. What Is Life Worth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request from a lovely reader! 
> 
> Many times these past five years, Jiraiya often asks himself what his life is worth. What does he live for? All he’s ever loved has left. Yet love strikes his life in a person he least expects. You. The badass single mom bartender he quickly befriended as he frequents your establishment every night. But he’s sure he’s not good enough. It’s simply another day of existing... but it starts something he doesn’t expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! It gets a little dark with themes of addiction and depression. As well as major character death. I didn’t expect it to go this way but I promise this oddball special is a cozy time by the end.

A beat pounded in Jiraiya’s head like someone rammed his head into a wall repeatedly. It’s a rude awakening to say the least. Coming into consciousness simply because the agony of a hangover was too much for his body to handle was a bad time. The idea of opening his eyes felt like a task mightier than climbing a mountain. It flared his headache as if his eyes detect the small amount of light creeping into the room. He wakes up like this a lot but this is just awful. It’s worse than it usually is.

The squeak of a door felt like someone had just decided to drill something into his skull. There was a small gasp.

“Mama, who that?” A small voice whispers.

“Hush. That’s Jay-Jay. Come on, leave him be.” You whispered back.

“Ohhhhh. I didn’t know you were having a sleep over.”

“I couldn’t let him go home.”

“Too much drinky?”

“Aye, too much drinky.”

There’s a soft giggle and the door squeaks shut again. The exchange did pull a grin out of him. There’s only one kid in this world that calls him Jay-Jay. That sweet little girl of yours, Ume. She’s probably the cutest little nine year old he’s ever had the pleasure of knowing. With black fluffy hair and big huge black eyes that always sparkle with happiness. She treats him like a regular person and he loves it.

But that begs the question of what the fuck happened last night? Shifting around a little causes Jiraiya’s senses to slowly awaken. His arms tingle a little from sleeping with them above his head. The sheets are tangled around his legs. He’s still wearing underwear. It’s all he’s wearing.

Last he remembered was in your bar drowning his woes in liquor. You were there of course. Watching and listening to him with a sympathetic smile. It was hardly different from any other night, except he went harder to... well.. deal. But what did he say? He can’t remember. He knows he’s safe. More information began to process the more he woke up. He must be in your house, which was a loft located above your bar. Why else was your child here and he’s most certainly not in his bed. This bed is cozier. It smells like you.

With a deep sigh, Jiraiya finally succumbs to reality. He’s awake. He opens his eyes slowly. Thankfully the curtains were shut. The glare wasn’t so bad. The dry mouth and full bladder however was a rude calling. Moving too quickly made him nauseous. He groans as he flips over onto his belly and slinks out of bed like a groggy lizard. He practically crawls to the bathroom, an odd detail of your house he does know how to get to. It took a lot of energy to stand before the throne and let loose. Like every other sound at the moment, it was loud and gross.

It signalled his awaking, as if his stumbling around like a half human creature hadn’t done that already. Soon the smell of bacon fills the house. His mouth floods with saliva from both a ravenous hunger and a new wave of nausea. His stomach growls yet also clenched at the idea of food. To help relax, he splashes handfuls of water into his mouth after washing up from the first step of the morning ritual. It only worsens his craving for hydration and he sticks his head in the sink to drink almost mouth to tap to get some of the water his body sorely misses. After that, he finally makes his way around the home. It’s small. It’s got two small bedrooms and a single bathroom. Walking out of the thin hall that made up the bed and bath revealed the open kitchen and dining. In said areas was you and Ume.

“Morning, Jay-Jay!” Ume greeted him happily.

“Morning, kiddo.” He returned the greeting, although it sounded less enthusiastic.

He took a seat at the table beside Ume. She’s contently eating some scrambled eggs you had made. His gaze is fixed on you. Your back is to him as you cook. Being closer to the smell continues to confuse his body. Does he want food? He’s so hungover he doesn’t know. Before long there’s a soft scrape as you set a plate down in front of him.

Apparently he had closed his eyes. He didn’t even notice. He opens them and looks at you. He does offer a lopsided smile in appreciation. You return it with a slight roll of the eyes. He looks down. Hm... interesting. Bacon with instant ramen noodles all tossed and fried together in a pan. Looks greasy. It does appeal to his sickly stomach.

“Trust me. It’s a good way to knock out the hangover.” You tell him.

“I believe you.”

You had nicely stuck the chop sticks into the side of the mound of noodles. He takes them and began to eat. It was strangely good. The fat from the meat mixed well with the usually flavourless noodles. You hand him a coffee a few moments later. You are like an angel with your amazing gifts of food and drink.

It’s... nice being taken care of. You’re a good friend. Although he’s now seeing you differently. Which is odd. You aren’t usually his type. Not that you aren’t beautiful, it’s just when he thought of the word gorgeous nothing like you came to mind. Mostly because he hasn’t been exposed to something like you before. Tattoos. Dark aesthetics. Both suit your type of beauty. You also got a filthy mouth but it only drove home the brutal truths you tell. It’s refreshing to be around. No one but you talks to him like that.

“How you feeling?” You ask.

“Awful.”

A smirk grows on your face. You take a seat across from him with your own coffee and breakfast. You decided against the noodles and went for eggs instead.

“Jay-Jay?” Ume calls for his attention with an endearing inquiry.

“What’s up?” Jiraiya asks, slowly turning his attention away from you to her.

“Are you one of mom’s special friends?”

His brows raise. Did this kid just ask him if he’s sleeping with you? It’s hard not to at least snort. But then it dawns on him. He woke up almost completely naked in your bed with no memory of the night prior. Then again that’s like eighty percent of his nights, but it’s the first time in a while he’s woken up in a woman’s bed. He glances over to you.

“I dunno, are we?”

“Fuck no.” Was your curt reply.

“Mama! Language!” Your daughter was quick to reprimand you.

“Sorry, honey.” You more or less sigh as your daughter scolded you. You glance over at the clock on the wall and hum. “You should be getting to school. Finish your food and get going.”

“Okay!” Ume agreed.

She shovels the rest of her meal down and jumped out of her seat. She bid everyone goodbye and ran out excitedly. Jiraiya had himself turned to wave her off. He quite likes that kid. She seems to be a fan of him too. He flashed her a funny face and she returned it before bolting off.

“How’s she doing?” Jiraiya asks after a moment of silence. He turns back and leans on the table. “Does she like her studies?”

“I think so. She practices hard and is enthusiastic to learn from her father.”

A twinge of something pulls at Jiraiya. The father. Not him... could be if he plays his cards right. It’s odd to get involved. It’s not his kid but he cares a lot for Ume. Honestly he’d never figured he’d go for a single mom yet here he is. There is a weird balance here. He’s been getting closer to Ume because he’s quickly discovered that through your baby’s judgement he can win your favour. But he doesn’t want to inject himself into this family like he was always apart of it. It’s just a little hard to fully gauge where his boundaries are.

And then there’s her father. An Uchiha, which makes Ume apart of that clan. She’s inherited the talents of said clan as well, but she has your last name and hardly any involvement with the clan. Quite surprisingly, they’ve been very lax about this whole thing. They’re usually pretty uptight about shit like this. They are a bit more lenient than the Hyuga, but do prefer things to be tidy. A ‘bastard’ child probably ruffled a few of the elders’ feathers, but as the younger generation has taken lead they are slightly more modern in their views now. It’s rather refreshing to see them all get along. They just seem pleased there’s another member of the clan. It’s mostly because your ex wouldn’t allow much clan involvement and you would probably murder any clan member that attempted to take your child from you.

Aside from not being together, you still work well with your ex to co-parent. Apparently your ex is private person who doesn’t really give much of a crap about the politics of clan relations. From what you’ve said, your relationship with him ended on good terms. You don’t talk much about it. It’s not really Jiraiya’s business anyways. You’re single now.

A gentle hand rests on his arm, bringing him out of his wandering thoughts. He looks down at it, then up to you. For having such a tough exterior, you could be rather sweet.

“You doing okay?” You ask.

“I’ve been better. Why?” He in turn asks a question. Last night was a real blur. Why do you look so worried?

“You seemed to not be okay last night.”

“How so?”

“Well getting absolutely shit faced and crying the name of a woman is hardly a prelude for someone who is doing fine.”

“A woman? I don’t...” Jiraiya trails off as memories hit him.

Tsunade. He bows his head and lets his hair fall to hide his face. The grip he had on the coffee mug tightened as he felt like coiling up. If only it were so simple as to coil into a ball and turn off his head from thinking. Or drown in sorrow. Drowning in alcohol was a good medium for his sorrows.

Her death was almost poetic. A death that was romantic enough to be in a fable. Dying beside the man she loves. Holding him. Being with him until the end. It’s been five years but it still hurts. Yesterday marked not the anniversary of her death, but the day he watched her get buried. For some reason, her death didn’t sink in until then. Watching the casket go down is when all those surreal emotions became real. He wasn’t anywhere near her when she fell in battle, yet he still feels responsible. As if he could have done something to change fate. To make it worse, it feels as if he got whip lash to the upteenth degree when only two years later as things got easier, Orochimaru was discovered to have been doing very illegal and upsetting things. Those experiments violated probably every human right one is supposed to be entitled to. He got away too. Hiruzen stopped talking to him four years ago. Jiraiya does feel as if he’s got no one most nights.

It’s lonely. It was like his family fell apart. Jiraiya only accepted the promotion of Hokage because he didn’t want to leave what little family he still had. Minato was now an outstanding young man and his advisor. It’s the emotional support he desperately needs, but even then how much can he dump on his poor student? Minato is starting his own family. He doesn’t really need his somewhat mentally unstable teacher to baby as he prepares for the challenges of fatherhood. But Minato is all Jiraiya has left. It feels as if everyone else had gone.

“Fuck, I didn’t mean to upset you.” You say.

Jiraiya flinches when you touch him. He didn’t expect it. Again your gentle almost motherly touch is comforting. Pushing back his hair to tuck behind his ear. In this moment he does feel small and childish. It felt good to have you coddle him. You rarely do. It does give him hope that you maybe would be interested in a relationship. You’re the first woman since Tsunade he’s found something in. Not just attraction, but feelings as well. You treat him... how he wants to be treated. That’s the best way to put it.

“How much did I tell you last night?” He asks quietly.

“Not a lot. Just that you miss a woman who was very dear to you.” You answer. You continue to pet him, even though he’s most certainly greasy and sweaty. “Break ups can be fucking tough.”

“Break up?...” For some reason that makes him laugh. Not that death is very funny. His terrible communication of his drunken woes must have been vague. A single chuckle that was strained and weak comes from his throat before he clears it up. “She’s dead.”

“Oh... I’m sorry.”

That response irks him. Sorry for what? That he’s dealing with pain? It’s not like you knew of his past. He didn’t talk about it. You don’t ask about it. It falls silent for a while. Neither you or him move or speak. After some time, you do make a move. A gentle one. You squeeze his arm then stroke it in a tender gesture.

“You should shower. I highly fucking doubt your ninja want their leader to smell of stale booze and vomit.”

“Vomit?”

“Yeah, you spewed for a while after I dragged your sorry drunk ass up here. Do you know how fucking heavy you are? It sounded like I was tossing rice bags around my hallway trying to navigate you to bed!”

Jiraiya cringes. So that’s why he knew where the bathroom was. He can usually hold his drink but when he’s upset he tends to overdo it. Now that he thinks about it, his elbow and wrist are a little sore. Perhaps they whacked into a wall or door on his way of you attempting to rag doll him to bed. He’s not so cooperative when he’s that wasted. A smile does grow on his lips as a memory comes to mind. Those vague blurry images, as of snapshots of life, of Tsunade hoisting him up by bracing practically his whole weight on her shoulder while her fist gripped the clothing of his back to make sure he doesn’t fall over. His eyes somewhat focused on her harden expression as she had the mom friend override when she too was drunk but had to take care of him to make sure he don’t end up in a dumpster or something. He found it funny that she’d cared so much as to save him from being stranded on the streets.

Thinking harder... he can sorta remember that with you. Your expression sour as you practically drag him along in the same hold down a dim night lit hall to a dark bedroom. A few colourful words spilling from your lips as you struggle with every step. That immediate relief of hitting a pillow with his heavy head and.... holding you hostage. His arm feeling like a brick building as he trapped you under it and held you like you were his childhood stuffed animal. You’re strong. But not strong enough to escape him when he’s determined to squeeze you.

“Okay... You don’t mind?” He asks.

“Hell no! Get in there, stinky!”

Jiraiya scowls at you before standing. He shuffles over to the bathroom. He flicks on the water and doesn’t even wait for it to get hot before jumping in. It’s so refreshing. Having the water wash off the old sweat was wonderful. For some time he just stands in the water. The door opens after a moment. You don’t say anything as you sneak in, drop something and leave swiftly. He doesn’t think much about it. Perhaps you dropped him a towel or something. He uses a bit of your shampoo and body wash. He didn’t mind smelling like flowers and coconut. Beats smelling like stale alcohol and puke. Plus the little whiffs of the stuff he can get from smelling his hair will remind him of you. Finally that scuzzy feeling went away as the lather and scent washed away last night’s awful binge.

He turns the water off and gets out. He steps out of the tub and looking around reveals you have dropped his clothing off on the vanity. They are all folded and clean. How nice of you to wash off the possible puke and alcohol off of his stuff. If only he had a change of undies. It seems he’s gotta do the shameful task of flipping them inside out and wearing them again... or maybe steal a pair of yours. You’d probably string him up by his toes, but it would be hot. Are they black and intricate like your tattoos? Are they feminine and frilly like a cute hidden side of you? He hopes to find out. He changes into his clothes, regrettably in his own undies under it all, then leaves the bathroom.

You are tidying up from breakfast, washing dishes and setting them on a rack beside the sink. You do give him a smile as he wanders back into the kitchen.

“Thanks... for everything.” Jiraiya said.

“You’re welcome. Honestly, you need all the fucking help you can get.”

“Don’t I know it.” He agrees with a small laugh. He glances at the clock then sighs. “I should get going.”

“Okay.” You say as you dry your hands and gesture towards the door.

You walk with him to the door. Both you and him stop to say goodbye.

“I’ll see you soon.” Jiraiya tells you with a smile.

“Tonight?”

“Heh. Only if you got another bottle for me.”

You smile, but it feels a little forced. He tilts his head in inquiry. Are you worried? There’s nothing to be worried about. He won’t throw up again. Or be a hot mess in front of Ume again.

He laughs a little. It’s still hard to laugh, but he didn’t like seeing you furrow your brow in worry when you look at him. You do smile at him, but it’s not all that genuine. It’s still better than a frown. You open the door for him. But he doesn’t leave. For a moment he stalls. He doesn’t know what came over him. Maybe it was just finally feeling something for someone after so long of not. Or how you took care of him. There’s some kind of... belonging when he’s with you. As if he has a place when you are with him. Which he hadn’t felt since his team disbanded. Your eyes widen when he leans down. You don’t flinch or pull back. You merely gasp before his lips touch yours.

It was a quick kiss. Or that’s what he wanted. That’s how he imagined it. Like he was your husband and it was a quick kiss goodbye before he went to work like how every morning starts. Then you melt into it so quickly. You grip him by his biceps, pulling him closer. He grabs your hips. Within seconds tongues and teeth gets involved. He pushes you against the door and it rattles from the force of hitting the wall.

This is the most action he’s gotten in a while. He’s still a man after all. One that’s as hot blooded. Yet his romantic endeavours have been lackluster these past years. Ever since he’s walked into your bar five years ago he’s been shooting for this moment with you. This passionate kiss was sending his body through a tirade of tingles. He’s finally doing this! It felt like progress.

Like all good things it comes to an end. You broke the kiss. Your voice is soft. It says his name with a tone that made it clear you wanted to say more. It was a tone that instantly scared him. He didn’t want to hear whatever you had to say. Especially if it’s to tell him you didn’t want to pursue a relationship further than a friendship.

“Sorry...” Jiraiya mumbles. He backs away from you. “I just... I thought you felt the same.”

“Jiraiya, I-!”

“I’ll see you later.”

You call after him as he leaves. He can’t deal with this right now. He could barely handle it sober and healthy. There’s no way he can do it when he’s hungover. He can’t think of what to say to you to make this better. Although leaving after kissing you so deeply probably wasn’t making you think any more highly of him. He makes a frustrated cry towards the sky before moving on. It’s a problem for later. Perhaps after hitting his forehead on his desk for an hour or so he’ll think of a good approach when he gets off of work.

He scuttles away to his office. Of course he got scolded by a passing elder for being so late. He rolls his eyes as he continues the journey. The task is harder since he’s all hungover. His body still feels heavy and gross despite the care you gave him. The run over to the building has made him nauseated.

Minato is already there. He’s sat on a chair beside the desk, looking over some paper. He offers a smile and a hearty good morning. Jiraiya returned it with less enthusiasm. It’s more of a polite uncomfortable smile one does when they’re gassy but too stuck in a conversation to leave.

“Oh. Rough night?” Minato asks.

“I’ve had better.” Jiraiya sighs as he plunks down in his chair.

“Did something happen?”

“Unk!” He snorts. “I don’t know. I could have just ruined a friendship.”

“Did you kiss that bartender you like?”

Jiraiya narrows his eyes at his student. Is this kid psychic or something? Minato pointed to his lips. After a blink, Jiraiya reaches up and wipes his mouth with his fingers. Pulling them back to look reveals he’s got some lipstick on. He’s not one for cosmetics but you wear this gorgeous deep red colour on your lips everyday. It reminds him of roses. Or cherry juice. He’s described it to Minato a hundred times. He feels his cheeks warm as he quickly wipes his mouth free of the pigment.

“Good for you, sensei. It’s about time you found someone!” Minato laughs jovially at his expense.

“Oh hush up, kid! I don’t know what I even did!”

“What do you mean? I thought she liked you back.”

“So did I. But... I.. I don’t know. It’s my problem. I’ll figure it out.”

“Okay. But if you want to talk about it, I’m always here.”

“Yeah I know.”

“...”

He glances over to see Minato kinda just looking at him.

“What?” He asks.

“Did you want to talk now?”

“About what?”

Minato pauses for a moment. He blinks. Jiraiya blinks. The younger man simply sighs after that awkward pause.

“Nothing, sensei.” Minato mumbles. He offered a small smile. “I’m always here for you if you wanna talk is all. Okay?”

He grunts in acknowledgement before pulling forward the stack of paperwork he ignored last night. The sentiment is nice. He does appreciate it... he’s just not so good at vocalizing it. He grabs the first one and begins the slow process of approving mission reports. Minato usually peers over his shoulder to make sure he doesn’t make mistakes. If he does, a thin polite finger stops his progress to mark the mistake. In all honesty it’s just an excuse to have Minato stay around longer. Jiraiya didn’t like sitting in this big office by himself. Time seems to tick on much slower when by his lonesome.

“By the way, sensei. You have an appointment to speak to the students of the academy in the afternoon.” Minato says.

“What? Didn’t I talk to them like a week ago?”

“That was the graduating class. This is the fifth and sixth year classes you have to inspire.”

He groans. He’s not so good with groups of kids.

“You should just do it, Minato. You are much better at speaking to the youths than I am.”

“You aren’t so bad. I’ve done up a mock speech for you to say, but you can edit it however you wish.” Minato said as he slid over a neatly folded piece of paper. “Do you wanna know something?”

“What?” Jiraiya sighs as he reluctantly takes the speech to look it over. He still fancies himself as an author, but hasn’t found much motivation to be creative as of late. What little he has tried to write turns out grim or really shitty. He’s just tapped out on good ideas. Minato is a good writer too. He knows how to be inspiring, which is something Jiraiya ain’t so good at. Apparently telling the kids it only gets worse from here on out in life isn’t good for morale.

“It’s a good opportunity to show a certain little girl that you are super cool.”

Minato can be too clever for his own good sometimes. It’s not a bad idea. Ume is in that range of classes. If Jiraiya can impress her then your opinion of him will change for the better. Ume’s opinion does mean everything to you. But he did just kiss you and run. Is there still a relationship for him to have after making an ass of himself? Hopefully so. He agrees to go. Maybe be more interactive than his predecessors were. Jiraiya never figured himself as a leader that was intimidating or worthy of everyone’s respect anyways. It’s easier to be liked as a person than revered for being a powerful leader. He does edit the speech a little bit to reflect that sentiment. From the corner of his vision he can see a grin on Minato’s face, but the young man doesn’t say anything.

Like any presentation, Jiraiya practices a few times. He didn’t want to fuddle it up even if it is just for children. Children tend to be harshest of critics anyways. It’s best not to make too much of a fool of himself. He goes alone, letting Minato keep up with the work while he’s away.

Waves of gasps resounded around the academy training field. All the children had stars in their eyes at seeing Jiraiya’s approach. It feels a little odd to be considered so popular. It seems children are the only ones that think he’s cool anymore. He’s not so popular among the adults he has to lead. Not that he really cares what they think... not anymore anyways. It only stressed him out to live up to their expectations.

From the crowd of little faces, he spots Ume quickly. She waves at him and he returned it. A couple of her classmates look at her like she’s either crazy or insanely cool.

Jiraiya spoke his speech well, telling the children the real weight they hold in the village. They are the future after all. It’s important to build them up high so they can succeed. He smiles as an idea comes to mind. He can waste some time showing these kids a thing or two, can’t he? Minato can cover his ass on the paperwork for a few more hours. His role was to watch the children train to observe their skills, but that’ll do fuck all. It’s better to get in there.

The teachers gawked a little, but appreciated his hands on approach. It took some time to train each child. It had to be swift to give each one a chance. It was nice to get some action. An unfortunate perk of being Hokage meant sitting on one’s ass all day rather than doing the exciting things. It’s a great change of pace. For the first time in years, Jiraiya was enjoying himself. He no longer thought about office politics or the stress of running this place for some time. Not even his lingering hangover hindered him.

Intentionally, he paired with Ume last. It was late in the day now. It was strictly voluntary if the kids wanted to stick around to learn a few pointers from Jiraiya. Most did. A few apathetic souls decided home was better than extra training. Not that he minded. He gets it. If he were a kid he too would have bounced the moment the teacher said this was a voluntary training session. Even the teachers had left at this point. Jiraiya assures them he can watch over her while waiting for her father to pick her up.

Like all Uchiha, Ume is exceptionally talented. Even without that visual advantage, she picked up on his tips quickly. She adjusted herself, even if her technique was pretty damn perfect. Even so she still asked him if she was doing good.

“Like that, Jay-Jay?” Ume inquires again. At the moment she was doing a motion of a high kick.

“Not bad, kiddo. Actually it’s pretty good.” Jiraiya praises her but does notice a flaw. It’s his job to help her. It does no good to dote just to simply win your favour again. He squats down and pokes her foot. “Just fix your foot. Turn it out more and you’ll be more stable.”

“Okay!”

She hobbles on her foot as she hops to adjust her position. He chuckles as she does her best to impersonate a drunk frog. She lost balance. Jiraiya put his hand out and caught her on her mid back. He pushed her back up slowly to avoid a face plant.

“Thanks, Jay-Jay.” She says as she finally stands normally. “You know, I really like you.”

“Thanks, kid. I like you too.” Jiraiya replies calmly, but his heartbeat quickened with excitement at hearing that.

“If you do ever become mama’s special friend I think that would be cool.”

“Cool how?”

“I dunno. I just think it would be nice to have you around more. You make mama happy.”

A smile grows on his face. A part of him wants to squeal like a flustered teenaged girl. He kinda feels like one. He could go home, collapse into bed holding a pillow to squee into and turn hot with his cheeks from hearing a girl likes him. It’s just... been a while since he’s felt like this. The attraction and warmth of wanting someone was almost overwhelming. He’s feeling something again. Something new that’s a welcomed change. The weight of kissing you and bolting didn’t feel so tragic now. Maybe he does have a chance with you. Even though he’s freaking out he stays calm on the surface.

“Your mama makes me happy too. She’s pretty cool.”

“Pretty fucking cool!”

“U-Ume! You shouldn’t say words like that!”

“I know, but I it makes me more cool like mama!”

He sighs in exasperation. Ume grins and stuck her tongue out at him. The damn kid is gonna give him a heart attack! Your sailor mouth does influence your daughter even if she does disapprove of it. She giggles at him and his scowl.

“But can I tell you something honest?” She asks.

“What’s that?”

She leans. Her hands cupped around her mouth and she whispers. He leans in too and cups his ear while facing it towards her to keep her secret between them.

“Papa is cooler than you.”

He snorts. Ume is a funny kid. All kids are brutally honest but Ume can be a savage sometimes. But he gets it. Her papa is pretty cool. He probably can’t compare. It is great that she at least thinks he’s good for her mama.

“Ume!” A different voice calls.

Jiraiya turns his head in response to see your ex, your friend, the father of your child. Ezume is his name. Tall and intimidating as almost all grown Uchiha are. He stands there like a road block, still and stoic. It’s hard to see Ume in there aside from the dark eyes and hair. She’s just too sweet. That stoic expression does melt when Ume ran swiftly towards him. He bends over to catch her and lift her up into a hug.

Jiraiya rises to standing as they approach. Ezume is... hard to read. More of a loner type. Keeps to himself. Yet he’s is very loyal to his clan and their future. Anyone with family is, but clan kinship can be a different beast all together. It’s intimidating in a way. Piss off one and one has a hundred to worry about. Uchiha are especially scary. Running both the police force and having hands in raising anbus....

Where did that come from? Jiraiya sighs as he takes a moment to pinch the bridge of his nose. He’s been in that accursed office too long. With nosy meddling elders whispering into his ear to be paranoid. So long as he proves that Konoha still loves and accepts one of the founder clans, there’s no need to worry about a fucking revolution. It’s all stupid speculation with no absolute proof. Hearing about it for eight hours a day has made him unnecessarily thinking of a plan of action that does not need to be taken.

“Headache, my lord?” Ezume asks.

“Yes. I’m sorry.” Jiraiya replied. He composes himself and faces the man before him a polite smile. “Is there something you wanted?”

“Not really. I just think it rude to simply take my child and leave without speaking to you.”

“There’s no need to speak around what you want to really say to me, Ezume.”

Surprise takes the man’s face. Jiraiya ain’t stupid. Ezume has an expression in his eyes that spoke of some kind of offence. He’s mad about something and it’s directed at Jiraiya. Jiraiya can handle some heat. Whether it’s criticism of his leadership or behaviour, he can take it.

“I was wondering if some rumours were true.” Ezume starts off the conversation again.

“What kind of rumours?”

“That our clan is under investigation... That you mistrust us.... my lord.”

Jiraiya frowns. He hadn’t ordered anything like that. Did the elders really go over his head? Did he sign off on it by mistake? Or did they simply lay the paper out before him and he just approved of it? He does that a lot. He didn’t really care what he signed off on... but facing the consequences of being so lax is now starting to pile up on him. Fuck.

“I can assure you that I have ordered no investigation onto your clan. I’m sorry if I or any of our comrades have made your clan feel unwelcome or suspicious.” He formally apologized. Then he scowls as a thought crossed his mind. Danzo has been especially prodding about this supposed revolution. Then again the bits of evidence he’s been presented with has made him... wary. But he’s not going to order the isolation or banishment of a clan for a few bits of evidence that could simply be explained away. Yet he should make himself known not as a push over. He didn’t want to be one anymore. “Although if I do become aware of any reason to be mistrustful of the Uchiha and their intentions with the village, I will take action.”

“Understood.”

Ezume wasn’t happy. That was clear with that scowl. He’s grinding his teeth as he wishes to speak more but is holding his tongue. He hadn’t moved a muscle. Ume kept looking between the two of them with a worried frown. She didn’t like seeing them talk like this. She doesn’t quite understand what’s happening but she doesn’t like them so tense. To cut the tension a little, Jiraiya made eye contact with her and smiled. She does offer one back.

Her father sets her down on the ground again with a soft spoken order to go wait at the swing. She ran off to the old tree that supports the swing. Both men watched her go with a fond smile.

“Was there something else you wished to speak about?” Jiraiya asks. Like he had to. There was most certainly a reason to send Ume away.

“Yes.”

There’s a pause. Jiraiya sighs loudly. He prompts Ezume to continue with a gesture of his hand. The other man states your name seriously. It froze Jiraiya’s heart for a beat. His face gets warm, not enough to blush thankfully.

“What exactly are your intentions?”

“What’s it to you? I thought you two were just friends.”

“We are friends. We’re close and whatever man wants to be apart of her life is my business.”

“How so?”

“It involves Ume and to be quite frank, my lord, I don’t think you are suited to be a good parental figure.”

Jiraiya mulls on that for a moment. That’s probably true. To be honest he’s not too keen on parenting. It’s scary. But he’s successfully had a hand in raising Minato. He’s done well with the kids today. Yes that’s vastly different from raising a child twenty four seven, but with the little snippets he’s helped in he knows he can at least be both nurturing and fun. He can be someone to talk to but not afraid to lay out the punishments for wrong behaviour. He did so with his teams. If given permission to help parent Ume, he’d do the same for her. He could be worse. It’s not like he had good role models to follow.

“What exactly makes me so bad?” He settles on asking.

“I hate to be rude, but I hear you visit her bar not just for her.”

His first response was to scoff, but he hesitates. He does drink everyday. It... has been a bit a problem. It’s his coping method. He didn’t like being sober since it cleared up his head and reminded him of how miserable he is. Then again he’s miserable when he’s drunk too. He’s not as bad as he was when Tsunade died. He was black out almost every night for that year. He doesn’t remember most of it. It ruined his relationship with Hiruzen, who still refuses to speak to him to this day. But he figured not being totally black out would fix it... It hadn’t but the old man can be a prude sometimes!.. Right?

Maybe not. All those worried looks people give him are suddenly weighing heavy on his shoulders. You and that offer to comfort him. Minato’s constant insistence that he’s always there for a chat. Hiruzen refusing to speak to him the moment he orders a drink. Good god...Is it really that bad?

Has he really fallen so low? Jiraiya stares into space as reality falls in around him. He hasn’t really been sober since he took this job. He’s let others do his job or he lets them lead him on to get it done a certain way. He’d rather pop a cork on a bottle than do anything that made him slightly uncomfortable. He hasn’t really been leading... He’s making a mockery of it. Just what has he turned into? It hardly feels like him.

He’s no good for anyone. Most certainly not you. He’s being a no good deadbeat drunk boss of a whole village. Oh god. Maybe it is a problem. It’s hard to remember a day he hadn’t taken at least a shot.

Despite his whole world crashing in around him, Jiraiya gets an idea. What if he fixes it? He’s been at rock bottom for like five years... he just didn’t know it. He didn’t like this feeling. All these truths are cold and harsh, but it’s opening his eyes to what a terrible person he’s turned into. He doesn’t like being this person. He’s not this person.

“What if I get better? Would I be good enough?” He asks in a quiet voice. A part of him is scared of the answer. Perhaps it’s the part of him that’s scared to get better.

“I don’t see that happening anytime soon.” Ezume answers coldly. He looks over to the swing and calls Ume back over. “Sorry, my lord. If I could say more to you, I would. But I think we’ve both said enough for now.”

They both leave hand in hand. Ume does turn around to give him last wave. He returns it with a small smile.

A bitter pill stuck in Jiraiya’s throat. It was clear what Ezume thought. Probably not just Ezume. Most of the village is probably embarrassed of the leader they have. He can prove them wrong. For you. For Ume. For Minato. For his village. He can’t stay like this anymore. It feels bad. Gross. He’s letting everyone down. Worst of all he’s letting himself down.

The first appropriate step became clear right away. Jiraiya turns and marches right to your bar. It’s too early for it to be open, but he opens the door anyways. You are behind the bar polishing some glassware. Your head snaps up with an annoyed look already on your face. It melted into surprise when you realized it was him.

“Jiraiya uh-!” You babble for your words.

“Shut up for a second.” He stated as he marched towards you.

“What the fuck! You fucker! You kiss me and fucking high tail it leaving me high and dry and you got the balls to tell me to-!”

He cut you off again. He was leaning over the bar to the point of almost teetering over to the other side. He had to in order to kiss you. You weren’t so melty this time. He pulled back and grinned.

“Sorry. I just... Take it as a promise.” Jiraiya said. You stare at him, flushed and confused. “I got a rude awaking and I’ve realized a few things. I need to get better. I want to get better for you. I will and I’m gonna date you... If you want.”

It is quiet for a moment. Your eyes are locked with his. They reflect a great amount of attention and consideration of what he just said. Then you smile. You shake your head as if he were silly. You set down the glass and cloth in your hands. Then you raise them to cradle his head. It was gentle behind his ears and into his hair. You lean in and kiss him. It fills him with joy.

“I’m happy you want to improve yourself. To be really fucking honest I was getting worried about you.” You say. You push back his hair from his face in a tender gesture that feels so good he wants a lifetime of it. “But it’s not something you can do alone. It’s gonna be tough as fuck. I’ll help you, okay?”

“Only if you agree to being my girlfriend at the end.”

You chuckle and agree to his terms. One more kiss and he leaves you stunned but smiling. He ran back to his office and announced his plan to Minato. The reaction was also a call to reality. He got squished into a hug and a quiet worded sentence of how happy Minato was for him. Has he really been so blind to what a wreak he’s been? These kinds of things are hidden to the person who is hurting those around them. It’s only more motivation to fix the hurt he’s caused. He sighs and shakes off the guilt. It’ll do no good to be negative anymore. He’s spent too long doing that.

“Go home early... you deserve it.” Jiraiya said with a smile.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind helping.” Minato politely offers.

“No, it’s my job. I can handle it.”

He gets a smile and a thank you.

That conversation happens a lot more now. Lots of conversations happen now. He’s taken up the offer of conversion with his trusted advisor many times. But he never makes it too heavy. It would only bring down the mood. Honestly it’s more fun to talk about babies than the struggles of losing a loved one. It’s therapeutic in its own way. New life is more enjoyable to celebrate than lost life. Minato is expecting a child any day now. It’s better if he’s home to be with Kushina as they prepare for their little one. Jiraiya can handle his work by himself.

It’s not so bad now. Being focused on it did make the time go by quickly. He took the reins back from the elders. He stopped doing what they wanted him to simply because he didn’t want to put any thought into any action. They weren’t too happy that he had begun to listen to them through a filter the size of a pin hole. He rejected almost all their notions now since he actually thought about what the ramifications of their ideas would cause. He never wanted to be their puppet again.

He leaves the office a lot to get away from them for a while. One day the mood struck him right to visit a clan. It’s about time to start making steps forward to fix the problems he’s made out of laziness and fear of action. It was awkward. The Uchiha thought he showed up there to lay out beef with Ezume. Or tell them to back off for simply living their damn lives. He did tell them to back off on their valid complaints to his staff, but in turn he simply asked them to speak to him directly about any problem they had and he’d solve it with them. It went surprisingly well. The clan seemed hesitant, yet pleasantly surprised that he offered a direct line to them. It’s something that should have been done years ago. It felt like he began the process of healing. There was a sense of dread that cleared the moment he made his intentions known. It was progress. It felt like he had stopped something bad and instead created something good. It fills him with a sense of warmth do all of these things. Like getting a compliment out of nowhere or drinking tea that’s just the right temperature... He quite likes tea now.

Even if it did feel good to take charge again, some days were tough. Some days Jiraiya didn’t want to get out of bed. His body felt heavy and sickly. With goosebumps and cold sweats. His head often felt like his brain was a metal mushy ball that smacked against the side of his skull like wet paper towel thrown against the wall. His stomach hurt and felt like bile was swirling around in his belly like a violent whirlpool. Laying in his bed by his sickly lonesome wasn’t how he wanted to spend his time. It’s a just apart of the process of quitting cold turkey. He body was detoxing and it made him feel like a pile of hot garbage. It’s a hangover to make all other hangovers feel like a light tap on the head. So he gathered himself from the pieces he was in to slink over to your place for company. It helped. You cussed and talked to him as you always had. Ume was pretty happy to see him around more. Whenever she had to trot off to school or to spend a weekend with her father, she always bid Jiraiya farewell in such a positive way that made him smile. It made this easier. It was a reminder that he’s doing this to himself for a good reason. It came with an added benefit to hang out with you alone from time to time.

“Have you ever considered doing something else instead?” You asked him out of the blue one day.

“What? Like in life? Cuz I’m kinda stuck here.” Jiraiya sarcastically replied.

“No, you dummy! Take up a different fucking hobby! Something to distract you that isn’t your shitty desk job.”

“I used to write. You mean something like that?”

“That’s a good outlet. But will it keep your mind off of shit? How about something more active?”

Now that’s an idea. Jiraiya contemplated that one for a while. It kinda made him realize he was getting out of shape. He’s by no means over weight, but he’s perhaps had to loosen up his pants. Who knew drinking most of one’s calories and more would cause a little bit of pudge. Being stuck on his ass all day doing reports didn’t help his cause either. So you offered a solution. Go running in the morning. He chuckled and asked you if it was because he’s out of shape. You didn’t mean it like that and it flustered you as you denied it. You swore at him and hit his arm a few times as he laughs at you. It was a suggestion as it’s something to get him away from the office. Something that perhaps writing couldn’t provide as he takes his breaks at his desk. Although the mental break was good from the mundane task of signing his name over a hundred times every two hours. You used to run everyday after you had Ume. Which is both badass and cute when you explained you did it with a baby in a stroller. You do it when you can now, except on days your shipments come in or when the general chaos of being a mother got in the way. It sounded nice. A few hours of alone time with you sounds like the best medicine he could ever get his hands on.

It added a new layer to his suddenly busy life. He woke up two hours earlier. He wore old clothes he used to train in and did laps around the village while most of his people were still sleeping. It’s actually rather beautiful. It’s peaceful. Quiet and cool out as the sun hasn’t warmed the earth yet. It’s even better with you to enjoy it with.

It’s all he really can do for now. Minato is caring for a baby. There’s no one else he can really bother to train with. It’s not so bad when he does it alone.It came with the surprising benefit of the public turning over to him. The other few early risers took notice of him. Some of his ninja ran with him. They’ve taken notice to him being more of a leader. Yet they don’t see him as one. In a good way. They see him more as an equal they can speak to rather than a leader they don’t respect.

Citizens politely asked to speak with him. He listened to their issues. They’ve come to understand him more and he to them. That disconnect of citizen to ninja was beginning to close as well. That unspoken hierarchy of ninja superiority was slowly being knocked down so the villagers feel as if their problems are valid beyond a mission request. It should be more communal. It’s not always about money.

He gained a fan club. The women of the village sometimes followed him. Especially when he got back into shape and began to do his laps with his shirt off. He got plenty of hoots and calls from the ladies as he drew their eyes with his every motion. It was flattering at first. Now it’s just annoying. He doesn’t say that to them, but most tend to stop tailing him when they see him kiss you. Which is a relief. He’d rather be with you over all the women in the village. There’s nothing in this world that can replace your companionship.

He always helps you when he can. He helped you bring in the heavy crates of alcohol. On nights you were slammed with customers, no matter how tired he was, he helped you tend the bar. He’s far from a mixologist, but he can pour a pint almost as well as you can. Since your bar is big with the military, lots of your patrons found it quite amusing to see their leader pour them a drink. It’s nice to laugh with them. Sometimes he bounces the few that get a little too drunk. Although it was way funnier to watch you do it. You are remarkably smaller than the men who get tankered at your bar but you can drag them out by their ear like they are a disobedient child. But he preferred doing it. You don’t need the extra stress even if it does make him chuckle. By helping you he’s also discovered how much he now distastes the idea of drinking. Being around the smells of it made him sick sometimes, but he’s stronger than that. He can be around it. All the shots his comrades buy him he nicely hands off to patrons that look like they are rationing their savings but wished to celebrate with their buddies.

It was like a sunny day in winter. The warmth that soaks in is unexpected but welcome. That how his people saw his sudden comeback. Jiraiya realized he had to do this not just for them, but himself. He is much happier. It took some time to realize that it was okay to be happy. He can’t mourn for his whole life. Nor should he give into the grief his team had caused Konoha. He’s not a great healer, but he can provide new rules and customs to ensure more people survive their missions. He’s not a genius with jutsu or cruel with his actions, but he can offer support to the people that were effected by what Orochimaru had done. He’s not the best leader, but maybe with some guidance he can become something similar to the great legacy his teacher had left. It was difficult to reach out to Hiruzen. He understood why now. It must have been awful for the old man. Watching his team, the children he saw grow and thrive, fall apart in different ways. Death, power hunger, and addiction. Thankfully, Hiruzen had recognized that Jiraiya had been doing better. He could again look upon his remaining student with pride.

Before long, another year passes. Jiraiya feels... different. Good different. Accomplished and proud. The grim clouds that darkened his world had fled. It always shines bright around here again. He’s the leader of a peaceful village. A peace he worked hard to make happen. He repaired gaps his predecessors had made and forged new laws to make his home run better. His people thrive. They like having him as a leader now. It feels good to roll out of bed in the morning and coming into work. Because he’s still making a difference. He hadn’t realized all the good he could do in this position. He’s not a puppet for the elders with ulterior motives anymore. He’s the god damn Hokage. As you say it, he makes this place his bitch.

It was... a good day. Minato and Kushina came by with their little one. The baby Naruto was absolutely adorable as always. Jiraiya enjoyed holding and cooing at the little guy for a while as a break from his work. Those giggles and squeals of joy from a happy baby is noises he had no idea he would love so much. Hiruzen came over for some time too, just to talk. A good talk. The old man must be getting lonely. Not that he minds these chats. It’s nice to have someone to talk to that understands the pressures of leadership on this scale. After a pot of tea and some good long conversation his teacher left. It was a slow mend, but it was mending nonetheless. When the clock strikes that certain time, something different happens today.

Usually Jiraiya bids farewell to the other ninja bogged down with their office positions and goes home. Today he still bid them goodbye, albeit quieter and noticeably less positive. When asked if he’s doing okay, he simply smiles and tells them not to worry. He first bought some flowers. Then he went to the graveyard. There’s really no words for him to say, write, think that can really describe how it feels to stand before the grave of someone he loves. He’s been a coward. He couldn’t bear to face Tsunade after she was taken to her final resting place. Today marked the first day he had visited her, on the anniversary of the day she was laid to rest. He just couldn’t face her. Not when he was how he was. A hot mess that couldn’t handle a day of clear thinking without her.

It’s nice to talk to someone who loves him. With someone who grew up with him. Even if they can’t say anything back. These long life updates were something they had always done. Since Jiraiya spent hundreds of hours away from home where family was, he couldn’t talk to them. Whenever he came back he and Tsunade usually grabbed a drink and spent the night catching up. This wasn’t so bad either. It’s nice to give a girl he cares a lot about flowers and shoot the breeze about the little things that make life better.

“I got a girlfriend now. You’d probably like her. She’s a lot like you in someways.” Jiraiya told her with a soft chuckle. “She can rag on me in a way that reminds me of you.”

There’s no reply. Not one most people can hear. He can hear Tsunade scoffing and rolling her eyes. She’d probably call him something stupid and put him in a headlock only to ruffle his hair in that way she does that always bugged him. Then she’d let him go and congratulate him on finding a girl that can see past all his glaring flaws. She’s just joking of course... mostly.

“Jay-Jay! Jay-Jay!” An excited cry broke his concentration.

Jiraiya turns around to see Ume barreling towards him. You are following with a stern look on your face. You are scowling at Ume as she clearly intruded on him. Not that he minded. Tsunade would have gotten along with Ume. His brows rise in surprise as he notices something. It makes him smile. No wonder she’s so excited.

“I passed!” She squeals her success. She points at her newly acquired headband as she leaps around excitedly.

“Good for you, kiddo! I told you you would.” He said as he ruffles her hair. That late night cram study with her wasn’t all that necessary, but she was so worried he was more than happy to help her. She’s rambling on about her nearly perfect test score. She’s a smart kid. She just needs a little more confidence in her own abilities.

You let out an exasperated sigh as you finally caught up with your energetic child. You pull her back.

“God damn it! I’m really sorry, honey. She flew away from me.” You exhale the words breathlessly.

“It’s okay. She’s got every reason to be excited.” Jiraiya shrugs it off. He looks back down to Ume. “How are you celebrating your new found ninjahood?”

“Papa is gonna take me out for food and he’s gonna show me a cool trick!”

“Sounds fun. Maybe you can tell me about it when you get home on Monday.” He looks up towards the field of graves to what waits beyond it. “It looks like your papa is here to pick you up.”

“Yeah!”

She bolts away from your grasp to back to the gates of the graveyard. There she began to hop around Ezume who was there to hop around with her. Jiraiya raises a hand to wave at them both. They both return it. Ezume is too far away to see expressions, but a small part of Jiraiya feels victorious. That small part of him that’s petty and full of spite is vindicated. He proved Ezume wrong. He just wants to beam a sly smirk at the other man for getting his shit together. He fixed not just himself but the parts of the village that were falling apart. That included the Uchiha, who honestly just wanted to be a part of the village’s affairs. It feels good to be right. It feels good to be good. And while Ume will always find Ezume cooler, Jiraiya didn’t mind being stuck in the number two spot. It’s just fun to be more of a father figure to her now than he was a year ago.

Now it’s just you and him. He smiles at you as you take those few steps to be close to him. He likes to tell himself it was out of spite he got better, but it’s just a lie. If you weren’t in his life he never would have gotten better. He’d still be a lonely depressed drunk if you didn’t love him back. You approach slowly and stand in front of him. You place your arms around him in a hug. He returns it. You know he’s sad. But you don’t say anything. As you have always done since you walked into his life, you simply are there to help him. A kiss to his cheek and an assuring squeeze is enough to convey your support. It means the world to him to have you here.

“Are you finished here? Or shall I come back later?” You ask.

“I’m...” Jiraiya pauses. He looks over his shoulder back to the grave. He swallows the lump down his throat and comes to a conclusion. “Yeah I’m done. Let’s go get something to eat.”

“Ezume said it was cool if we came along.”

“Nah.” He dismisses with a wave. “Let him and Ume have their time together. I like having you to myself anyways.”

“Is that so?” You retract to hold onto his arm instead. You look at him with a smirk. “And where the fuck do you plan on taking me, my lord?”

“I’ll fucking take you alright.” He growled in a flirtatious way. He leans towards your face until he could peck your lips.

You grabbed his head and kept him there. You tilted your head to deepen the kiss. It’s something he’s learned about you, but like everything he’s discovered about being with you, he quite enjoyed how dominant you could be. It’s been building more and more recently as you and him got more sexual.

“Fuck the meal then. You feeling up to it, champ?” You purr at him.

“Is that a challenge, babe? ‘Cause I can be a real beast when you work me up.”

“Prove it.”

Jiraiya laughs before picking up the pace. You and him run to your apartment. By then it was hard to keep clothes on. They were scattered across the apartment by the time you had him straddled on the bed. It felt so wonderful to kiss your belly right above your panties while pulling the fabric down. The silky black fabric compliments everything about you. Pretty. Soft. A little gothic.

Life had been so busy he kinda hadn’t realized he hadn’t had sex in a while. Not that it defined him or anything, it was something he realized. He’s both excited and anxious to do it with you. While you and him have been intimate, it hadn’t gone all the way. It just as amazing as every moment with you was. You are so gorgeous to look at. The pretty tattoos you have make good paths to follow with his tongue and lips. It’s hard to describe how much he loves to touch you. To worship every bit of you while he discovered how phenomenal making love was. Your curse words were spoken breathlessly. Your body arches as your fingers dig into his back. Your breath hitched as his did. He held you in place while he rolled his hips. For a moment his vision blurred. An explosion of stimulus had overwhelmed him for a time he couldn’t keep track of.

Once the eventual fall happens, it still lingers in the atmosphere. The satisfaction and eventual want for more was hanging around. But for the sake of both his and yours stamina a break was needed. Jiraiya lays beside you. Not quite spooning but nice and cuddly all the same. His fingers light and feathery as he drags them along your arm. You tell him the stories behind some of the ink you got. The plum branch that coils around your arm with ten little blossoms for Ume. The leaf symbol on your wrist you got for your time in the military, to which he learned you retired once you found out you were pregnant. A paddle fan for Ezume. All these things have such cool stories to them.

“Will I get a spot on ya?” Jiraiya asks. He drags his hand down to dance around the little heart you got on your hip.

“Do you really need a fucking spot?”

“I might.” He chuckles. An idea comes to mind. He reached lower and squeezed your ass. “How about here?”

You squawked as he pulled your ass against his crotch while he smooshed your butt with his hands. You reached back and smacked his hands. To which he rolled over to pin you under him while his attacked your neck in kisses.

“Stop it!” You whine. “You fucker! If you keep that up I’ll get a tattoo of your cute fucking mug in the shape of a dick on my ass.”

“To be fair that’s accurate.” He says with an amused hum.

“Oh shut your trap. You’re too fucking cute for that.” You pause for a moment. Your hand escaped the trap between yours and his body. You run it into his hair in a caress. “To be honest, I think I’d get something that reminds me of you. A symbol of some kind.”

“What kind of symbol?”

You pause again. Jiraiya adjusts before settling. He released your ass to instead lay his hand on your stomach. It lowered slowly. You gasp quietly when he curls his fingers against your sex. He takes in a deep breath out of excitement as he’s met with the enticing sensation of slick wetness. He shoves his knee between your legs to keep you from rubbing your thighs together. You whine and mewl as he began to rub your clit. Your legs squeeze his and you shift against him. More of that intoxicating wetness began to meet his leg as he excites you again.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck me I-I!” You stammer as he jerks you off with hard fast strokes.

“Tell me, babe. I’m curious on what defines me to you.” He whispers against your ear. He pushes his hips against your ass. He’s eager for your answer.

“Oh you fucking tease! I do-don’t know!”

He turns you into your stomach and lays on top of you. You whine when he stops touching you. You whine harder when he teases you with the head of his cock barely pushing into you. He’s hard and so ready to do this again. His whole body is sensitive and almost on edge with anticipation.

“I guess I’ll have to fuck the answer out of you.” Jiraiya concludes smugly. He licks your ear and nips it before continuing. “Maybe if I fuck you hard enough you’ll come up with something good.”

You scoff. The sheets shift as you grip them hard. You take back some control as you push backwards to take more of his cock. He was never patient when it came to this and met you half way. Both you and him moan from the feeling. He keeps shifting, small little thrusts as he’s eager to start again yet he doesn’t want to lose this little game. You are in the same place, rocking back and forth in small motions with a need.

“Try it motherfucker. I’m a hard woman to break.” You meet his challenge with a steely resolve.

“I am a motherfucker and a determined one at that.”

Your cool resolve breaks as you giggle at his joke. He grabs your hips and kisses your neck. You whine and cry out his name as he began again, setting the second round just as hard and passionate as the first one.

The session finished in the wee hours of the morning. Only because it was hard to stay awake. By that time you were an overwhelmed lusted out mess. Jiraiya grins at you as you cuddle up beside him again with your arms around him. Your face flushed and body on high alert for more. But he could hardly keep his eyes open. You couldn’t either. You groan when he shifted and held onto him tighter. His chest was your pillow and you weren’t to keen on him moving. He simply sighs before getting settled into the position he was in even if it wasn’t the most comfortable. His heavy eyes fall shut.

In the last moments of clarity, Jiraiya couldn’t help but be thankful. For you. For Ume. The rest of his family that’s still here and the new one he’s found with you. It’s all because of them he’s in a better place. He can’t ponder on that question anymore. The one he’s asked himself so many times these six years he’s been Hokage.

What does life mean? And what is it worth to him?

It means family. And it’s worth everything in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love a come back king! For real I was listening to 80s montage music during night shift and I got inspired to go this route with the story. I really like the idea of him a part of a blended family. And I figured making the father an Uchiha added and aided the conflict Jiraiya sorta just totally squashed with a casual conversation lol. I hope you like what I did, my dearest requester. I personally had a fun time writing it since it’s so offbeat in a way from everything else I’ve written. 
> 
> Apologizes if I missed any wacky grammar. I deadass almost cut off my thumb so typing much harder. I did my best haha.


	62. Cold Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are stuck in a trap. A terrible one that is made of rock and ice. It is designed to slowly kill the person, or in this case, persons stuck inside of it. Unfortunately it seems you are destined to die with a man you hate, Jiraiya.

The cold is slowly becoming unbearable. Even for him. Jiraiya slowly exhales a breath into his hands, hoping to warm them. It works for a few seconds. Then it dies out and returns to becoming cold. Tucking his hands into his sleeves helped. Curling up helped. At the moment he’s a tight ball on the floor of the cave. It was more like a cage. Constructed out of rock and ice. The ice itself unnatural and designed to slowly leech and freeze the chakra within its victims until they die. Not much can be done about it. All he can do is wait. Wait... with you. One of his teammates for this mission.

Casting a glance over reveals that you aren’t doing as well as he is. Shivering like a leaf in a windstorm. Your winter gear isn’t standing up well to the enemy attack. The ice prison is a tricky one to survive. It’s a test of endurance and trust. You have lots of endurance. And stubbornness. You just don’t trust him. Actually you despise him. He’s not the biggest fan of you either, but both you and him are willing to be professional and work together.

“What are you staring at?” You snap at him.

“Are you cold?”

“Of course I’m fucking cold!” You pause and look him over slowly. “Why aren’t you in worse shape?”

He shrugs.

“I do have fire chakra. Maybe it keeps me warm. Care for a hug?”

Your look of disgust was answer enough. Even so you give him some choice words.

“I’d rather get frostbite on my ass than touch you.”

“Suit yourself.”

Your teeth return to chattering. Jiraiya watches you quietly. Okay... he may not enjoy your company all that much, but this is worrisome. The point of this trap attack is to sap the captive’s chakra and use it to feed the frost until they die. After which the ice will simply melt away in a fun little ironic way. A slow truly agonizing death that begins the debate of what’ll kill a man faster, the cold or chakra deprivation?

He is doing okay. Deep calm breathing. Don’t overthink things. Trust that the team will come. There’s nothing else that can be done. No fire style attack can penetrate the ice and stone. He’s tried. Wasting all his energy on something will only kill him faster. You tried too, more desperate to get out. Throwing wind style attacks to the stone in a desperate attempt to break through. It didn’t work. If he hadn’t stopped you, you’d probably be in worse shape.

Ever since he stopped you, you’ve curled up into that ball in the darkest corner. Your emotions are running through something, he can tell. You aren’t okay. This is the first trap you’ve been stuck in. The faith of the toughest shinobi get tested in things like this. At least you aren’t alone. Then again... it’s with Jiraiya and that doesn’t seem to comfort you.

Your face suddenly changes. Your pissed off expression turns to worry. Fear.

“W-We’re going to die in h-here, ar-aren’t we?” You whisper between your chattering teeth.

“We aren’t. Our team wouldn’t abandon us.” Jiraiya assures you.

That didn’t do much to soothe you. Your shivers become more violent. Your breathing more loud and shallow. You shake your head.

“It’s been hours! N-No one is coming!”

You’re panicking. It’s something he’s never seen you do before. You’re usually so headstrong and tough it puts his confidence to shame. It’s something he admires in you. Along with your beauty and skill, you make for a good shinobi. It’s quite surprising that you are losing hope. In the low light of the cave, he can’t make out your features very well when they’re buried under your hood. But the high pitched inhales followed by shaky exhales are pretty telling that you’re crying. Even if you and him aren’t friendly, he didn’t like seeing you cry or give into despair.

It hurts to move. His bones are cold. They tingle and sting from the small effort it takes to crawl towards you. He sat on his knees in front of you. What should he do? He wants to comfort you. You literally hate every cell of his being. But he can’t leave you to give in to the situation. He reached out and grabs your cheek. You look up at him in surprise and confusion.

“Calm down. We’ll get through this, okay?”

It’s clear you don’t believe him. This place had gotten to you. You are shaking and scared. No hope in your eyes for a rescue. Your skin ice cold. Your eyes are tired. You’ve simply reached a point where you no longer believe.

You push his hand away and turn to the side to rest yourself against the stones. You are curled up tightly. He sighs. This isn’t good. You are as cold as the ice itself. You probably aren’t long for this world if you refuse his help.

“Unzip your jacket.” He orders. He already began to do so on his own jacket.

“W-What? No w-way, you perv!”

“Good god, woman! Is your pride worth that much to you?” Jiraiya raises his voice out of annoyance. “Let me share my body heat with you before you freeze to death!”

“W-Why prolong the in... inevitable? I’d rather d-die faster than drag you down wi-with me.”

He says your name softly. Do you actually care about him? You don’t reply. You curl up tighter in your ball in the corner. He stays there by your feet as you continue to shiver. His eyes droop closed and a shiver finally runs through his body. Not good. The cold is starting to set into his core. He sniffles as he feels his nose run. Not exactly charming but neither is wiping it on his sleeve.

For some time he breathes and thinks. Mostly about you. The frigid air was hard to breathe every so often. As if he let go of too much of the warm air in his lungs and the frost itself sunk into the lining of his body. For a moment it felt like he was floating. That in between state of awake and passing out was taking over. It was tempting. But deadly. He can’t give up. Not when he believes in his team and having you to protect until this is over. It would be so much easier to simply slip away. Like falling asleep.

It suddenly dawned on him that it had become very quiet in the cave. He opens his eyes and fear quickened his heart. You aren’t moving. You’ve stopped shivering. You’re limp. Your body lax and heavy against the stone. Just how long was he hazy for? Time seems like some kind of illusion in this place. It felt like seconds but could he have blacked out for longer without realizing it?

“Fuck... don’t be dead.” He curses behind clenched teeth.

Jiraiya pushes on your shoulder so you face him. Your eyes are closed. Your expression is stuck in that fearful despair you had on last he saw it. Your tears now frost down your cheeks. Your complexion is grey. It lacks that warmth blood provides to a body. He used his teeth to pull off his glove and pushed his hand under the collar of your jacket. His cold fingers were hot in comparison to your ice cold skin. Touching your neck was like grabbing an icicle. There is a pulse. It put him at ease, even if it was only a little. It’s a faint pulse. Slow and soft like the beat to a butterfly wing rather than that of a hammering healthy heart. It was a heart trying hard to pump blood into a hypothermic body. A task hard to do when the veins seem to be freezing after each beat.

At least you aren’t dead. You aren’t exactly healthy either. The problem he now faces is thawing you and still surviving without becoming frozen himself. Survival books always said skin on skin contact to share body heat was the best thing to do when faced with this situation. That now seems incredibly invasive and inappropriate with you unconscious. You may have given up, but he hasn’t. If he can at least prolong your life, he will.

“Sorry, babe. I know what you said, but I’d be a pretty shitty comrade if I gave up on you.” Jiraiya said to you.

You don’t respond. How can you when your body is failing? He reaches for your zipper and pulls it. He acts quickly so you don’t lose any more heat. He opens up his own coat and pulls open his shirt. The cold was truly biting. It was as if little teeth were nipping at his skin looking to break it open and let the frost go right to his blood. To save time he rips your shirt open, muttering another apology. The netted armour you got on he simply pushes up to above your breasts, speaking another apology to your unconscious form when he grazes your chest on accident. His own layer of armour is less forgiving in give so he had to suck it up and undress himself from the waist up before pulling on the layers he needed.

It’s very odd to be over top of you. On all fours looming above you like he’s about to enact a different activity to your body. It’s hard not to look. You have a beautiful body to look at. It would be nice to take your bra off and play around a little. But out of respect for you and the plain fact that he ain’t that kind of man, he wouldn’t ever touch you without your permission. He sinks down slowly, putting his arm under your back to elevate you slightly from the ground.

“Hah... oh.. cold.” Jiraiya more or less complains to himself as your icy body touches his.

He put your jacket back on you and he had his over his shoulders equipped more like a cloak than a coat. It just made sense at the moment. With it more like a blanket tent situation over top him he can move without the puffy sleeves cutting off his movements. He puts his other arm around you, placing it under your neck with his hand holding your head to cradle it. He gets settled in, laying his full weight over top of you. It forced him to embrace the cold of your body. The heat from him beginning to seep into you. For a few moments it stole his breath. It’s like hugging a snow bank in the middle of the coldest ever recorded day of winter.

For some moments he focused on breathing. Deep breaths that’ll be better for keeping you warm. He did his best to control himself. With each exhale his body wanted to flinch away from you. His belly was especially keen to suck back in to be away from your skin. He resists that urge and gets as comfortable as he can. He angles your face as gentle as he can so that it rests against his neck. The tip of your nose was like an ice cube being pressed against the most sensitive spot on his neck. The soft breaths that touch his skin was reassuring. They are at least steady. Still on the shallow side, but they are at least consistent. At ease that you are at least on the safer side, he settles down. His worry about the situation had lowered. It’s actually kind of nice. Humans are sorta made to hold one another aren’t they? With curves and angles for hands and faces to bury into for comfort and warmth. He rests his forehead on your shoulder and shuts his eyes. He may not find sleep, but trying might be okay. Resting and thinking is better than worrying. Fairly soon his warmth will be sustained and aided by yours. There’s hope. Don’t give up. Not on you. Not on the hope of escape....

There’s a breeze. Gentle, warm, and consistent. It tickles your shoulder. There’s a weight over top of you. It’s not squishing you. It was more like a weighted blanket. You are... warm. Or at least warmer. Your ears are still burning with the cold. You move your arms, using your hands to feel at what’s atop you. Your tingly cold fingers meet something both hard and soft. With gloves on it’s hard to determine what without removing them to feel the texture.

You stroke around the smooth sides to the other side. You rub in circles around the surface, feeling things you are familiar with. Muscles and bone. All wrapped in skin. A human. But how their chest is flat and wide, it must be a man. But... the last man you were in the company in... was Jiraiya.

He didn’t! Your eyes fly open and your gaze is met with a the familiar face of the man you’ve been stuck with for hours. You look around and yeah, he’s not wearing a shirt. You aren’t either. That perv totally did! There’s an uncomfortable bunch at your neck and the back of your bra is digging into your spine. At least he didn’t take off everything. Still so he touched you while you were out cold. You look back up to his face. It’s relaxed with eyes closed. A part of you sorta wishes he’d stay asleep. If you could just sorta shimmy out from under him that would be ideal. You try to scoot up, but accidentally knock your stiff leg into his thigh.

You watch his face. His brow and corner of his lip twitches. His eyes open. He smiles at you. Must like how a lover would greet their partner in the morning.

“Hey, you’re awake. How you feeling?” Jiraiya asks casually, like he’s not totally in a compromising position atop you.

A part of you is kinda mad. He took your clothes off when you were unconscious. But he only did so to save you. Why would he save you? You’ve been nothing but nasty to him since you’ve met him. What’s worse about is that you’ve entered a strange cycle of it. You are attracted to him. But you don’t like what he does to women. As a result you are just... mean.

“Fine...” You answer quietly. “Th... Thank you.”

“No problem.”

“...” You pause and exhale a deep breath. “Why did you... save me?”

“You’re my comrade. I have a duty to help you if I’m able.” He was happy to reply. He too pauses, looking you over. “Can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Why do you hate me? I know I’m not the best with the ladies, but you hated me before you even met me.”

“I don’t... hate you, Jiraiya.” You drop your voice to a timid mutter. “I hate what you do to women.”

“Oh?” He tilts his head. “Do explain.”

“You’ve had sex with a few of my friends and never contacted them again. No good man does that.”

He looks genuinely surprised. His brows up and eyes more wide with alert. They were feisty and offended. He is prepared to defend himself.

“Yeah, I agree. No good man does do that. That’s why I don’t.” Hs tone matched his eyes. “Unless I discuss with that woman that is what we both want, I’m more than happy to keep in contact with them. Mind sharing their names?”

“Kaguro and Hanako.” You say slowly, interested but not totally convinced.

“Ahhh.” He said with a wistful smile. “Both very lovely ladies. Their beauty only elevated more by their sharp minds. But they both agreed to that it was simply a night of fun and that it was never anything beyond that. If they developed a grudge over me keeping that agreement, then that’s their problem.”

He’s very matter of fact. He was sure of himself. So sure that you believe him. You look him over slowly. His expression was bright and mirthful. His eyes looking down at you as he awaits your conclusion.

It’s not totally out of the question that your friends would have stretched the truth. They could’ve done so out of offence that Jiraiya wasn’t willing to go back on his word or take them out again. Both can be quite dramatic when it comes to men. Anyone really... At one point their drama had caused a rift in your friend group. But you knew of Jiraiya’s reputation for being more of a player. He’s flirted with every woman he’s come across with no shame or awareness of how he comes off to others. Mixed with their stories you knew he just had to be unsavoury. A man far from boyfriend material. Your lashing out was just a way to protect yourself and keep him away. But it’s hard to lash out anymore. He’s rather sweet under that facade of suaveness. He’s honest. He’s funny. He’s a bit of a dork.... He’s a good person. You however... may have been too rash.

Even when you lashed out, he took it, dished it back, but never was a complete jerk. He had your back when you and him were split from the rest of the team. At one point he tackled you out of the way of an attack that could have ended your life. You refused to listen to some of his orders. When you broke off from the team to go take on the enemy yourself, he followed you. You walked right into this trap. It’s because of you... that he’s stuck in here. He has every right to leave you on the floor and let you live with the consequences.... or die with them. You were prepared to. But he won’t let you die. Out of loyalty... maybe something else too.

“I’m... sorry.” You eventually say. “I judged you before I knew you. That was childish of me.”

“It was, but I can forgive you.” He said with a wink.

A shiver runs through your body. Your eyes fall shut as you sigh quietly. Before the cold sets into, Jiraiya sinks back down. His body resting more firmly against you. You are inclined to hold him tightly. Your arms and legs wrapped around him like he’s your lover rather than your heat source. That bit of warmth that is being shared between you and him is as precious as diamonds at the moment.

“Keep breathing. Don’t panic. It’s all going to be okay.” Jiraiya’s deep voice was steady and even by your ear.

“H-How are you so calm?” Your teeth start chattering again.

“Because I know our team is still searching for us.”

“Hmm...” You hum out the sight. You curl your face into his neck. You grip a fistful of his hair to encourage him to stay there. “How are you so sure of that?”

“No one from our village would abandon a comrade. I wouldn’t, I know they won’t...” he pauses. His body adjusts slightly, rocking against you. It sent tingles up your spine. You heard a heavy swallow from his throat. “Would you?”

Is he testing you? Or your morality? Probably both. He’s been on about this rhetoric since the first time you inquired about the hope of leaving. Your hand began to mindlessly stroke up his spine, following that subtle line the bones made. It’s a habit you like to do to the person you’re hugging when you think.

“No. Of course I wouldn’t.” You finally answer. “I don’t think any good person, ninja or not, would leave someone behind when given the option to help.”

Jiraiya is quiet for a moment. Despite your hand their to keep him still so your face stays cozy, he turns his head. You have no choice than to lean back slightly to make room for him. He’s awfully close. His face only a few inches from yours. For some reason you’ve become very aware of how close he is. Not just his face, but his body. For the first time in a while, you felt heat in your chest, belly, and face. Your eyes lock with his. They are dark and jovial. Yet gentle and oh so bright. They’re affectionate. The face their set in wasn’t bad either. Older but handsome. And of course... you don’t gotta see his body to know he’s got one of a man half his age. Having each ridge of those muscles against your front painted quite the picture in your head.

“Then have hope. We’ll be okay.” He uttered softly.

“...” You don’t really reply. Your mouth opening to speak, but you do nothing more than a weak long breathless note.

Your eyes fall down to his lips, then to his eyes again. Maybe his mother was a siren. Or his father an incubus. Perhaps your denial and subtle brush with death has elevated your emotions. Or the fear and possibility of this slow death still ready to claim your very breath. Or maybe you like him more than you want to admit. But you for some reason, have fallen completely enamoured with the man you only a few minutes ago had distasted. You want nothing more than for him to grind his hips against yours and fight with you for dominance in the form of aggressive kisses.

He noticed. His head tilting ever so slightly, the smile on his face dropping to a soft line that barely curved. He swallows heavily again. You watch his throat bob. Your fingers flex, uncertain if they should push his hair to guide him down or release the strands to stroke his back to encourage him to make the first move.

He made the decision for you. You froze up in surprise when Jiraiya kissed you. His lips gentle and wonderfully warm. A heartbeat later you relax. You angle your head a little to get more comfortable in the kiss. You move your fingers up and deeper into his hair. Your other hand digs slightly into his back from holding on so hard, desperate to want him closer. It broke almost as quickly as it connected. Far to quickly for you to get really comfortable in it.

“Heh... sorry. I guess I should have asked.” Jiraiya said with a small laugh.

“No... no it’s okay.” You speak softly. You relax the hand on his back. You move it slowly to join your other in his hair. You grip and massage his scalp. “Kiss me again.”

He smiles before doing so. This is better. Full on heated making out. With short wet kisses, with tongues and sucking on bottom lips. It broke occasionally for him to kiss and suck on your neck for a few moments before going back to kiss your lips again. He adjusts again, rising to his knees. It left a cold void between your skin and his. A quiet groan leaves you as the cold set in. He grabs your hips, running them slowly up to your chest. He grabs your breasts through your bra, seemingly hesitant to push it out of the way to join the other material around your neck. Even through the material he can feel how firm your nipples are. It’s probably from the cold. Even so it’s a turn on.

Your soft moans encourage him. Jiraiya reaches around your back, his fingers grazing the bottom of the band that held the front of your bra to the clasp. You arch your back, giving him room to work the clasp. More of your body presses against him. He makes out with your neck as he works the hooks from their eyes. You are more eager than you thought. Excitement is coursing through your blood as you graze his crotch with yours.

The cold ground is hardly pillowed by your coat. When your back hits it again, it’s hard and cold. It was more like a sheet laid over ice. Yet you don’t seem to mind as he pulls off your bra off of your arms. It’s about to get hotter anyways. The cold hard ground will be a concern of yours no more. While he’s at it, he grabs the bunched up material around your neck and still sleeved on your arms and takes it off as well. You gasp as you can breath a bit more easier. The material was around your throat applying just enough pressure to be annoying.

“Fuck... you’re gorgeous.” He groans at the sight of you before groping your bare breasts.

Every touch was so exciting. You gasp when he pinches your nipples. They are already firm from the cold. Now they’re hard and sensitive as he teases them. It got so heated so quickly. It’s so odd to be so hungry for a man. But you just connect eyes with him and seeing the same excited want in his gaze only urges you to want more. A moment later he’s back to kissing you. With more tongue and harder sucking on your lip that’ll leave it swollen for hours. This time when it broke, it was slower and wetter. With a strand of saliva that connected your tongue to his after he pulled away. It’s followed by a hot puff of air from his mouth that washed over you for a second. The warmth that was gone leaves you wanting more.

You’re panting. Hard. Heaving for air like he strangled you. He’s no better, puffing for air quickly like you had tried to drown him. The steam from yours and his breath completely fogs up your vision for a few moments. After several moments of these, Jiraiya groans before resting his head against your chest. His face is nestled in your boobs, which he’s still holding firmly with his hands. His fingers still flexed enough to fully support them and caressing them like a nice fitting bra.

“Are you okay?...” Your voice was husky, which was surprising. It’s only been a few minutes.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just...” He paused to let out a quick sigh. He raises his head to peek at you above your breasts. “I know we’re doing something a little stupid.”

“Stupid how?” You ask. You scratch at his scalp and play with his hair, pushing all those thick locks away from his face. He looks cute with all his hair away from his face. He looks better with his hair. It’s wild like he is.

“We’re in a life or death situation. Just sitting here is sapping away at our lives but...” He pauses again. This time you feel his lips and teeth graze your skin, following that invisible like your sternum would make. “All I can think about now is how I’m going to get you to scream my name.”

“It won’t take much.” You whisper. Then you smile bashfully. “To be honest... I’ve been into you for a while.”

“Really? You sure got a funny way of showing it.”

Your smile drops to a scowl. He chuckles at your reaction before dipping his head back down to kiss your skin again. It’s still cold, but not as cold as it once was. The way you hum and relax from his affection already has him hooked. It’s hard not to grin while he’s doing this to you. Your reaction is hot. It does feel good, but the featherlight touch from the tips of his hair is tickling you.

His hands squeeze your tits. It was harder than he’s done it before. The difference in sensation was a good enough mix to keep your senses titillated. His grip remains firm as he drags his hands down. It pulls at your skin. You are very aware of their every movement. He’s not being subtle. They go down, as they do he travels up. His tongue leaves a wet trail on your skin as he drags it along in one long lap. It ends in between your breasts. From there he lays kisses up your chest to your neck. You move your hands as he rises up. Over his shoulders to his back. You turn your head as he nibbles on your neck right at the highest point he can get at.

In the meantime his hands had continued to travel down. It’s only when they hook around your pants do you realize what he’s after. You hold your breath as his cold fingers touch your bare hips.

“Are you okay?... We don’t have to if you’re having second thoughts.” Jiraiya said rather softly. His tone was understanding and gentle.

“I’m fine. Your hands are cold.”

“Oh... sorry.” He chuckles.

He pulls off your pants and underwear off together. You work with him, curling your legs up so he didn’t have to scoot back to pull them off. The cold air was strange. Your legs are already cold, but having your sex exposed to the air was odd. In a way it was refreshing, but it was a reminder of the heat you sorely miss. Jiraiya brushes his finger over your slit. The pressure of it was firm. Not enough to hurt, but enough to know what he was doing. He finds the hole he wants pretty quickly and pushes it in.

“Does that feel okay?”

You nod. It does. The cold isn’t really having any ill effects to this activity. You’re excited and therefore wet. His finger is pushing in and out easily. It’s good. And your partner is more considerate than you had expected. He’s very gentle. He shifts on his knees. they must be getting a little sore from supporting his weight like this.

“Should we switch?” You ask.

“No. I’m fine. I don’t think I can keep you warm if you are the one taking the brunt of the cold.”

“Aren’t you cold too?”

“I can deal.” Jiraiya pauses to smirk. “Fire chakra, ya know.”

You gasp when he pushed in a second finger. No more questions. Jiraiya sinks back down to kiss you. That bit of space he had created was quickly eliminated. You reach down, grazing your hand against his. He sucks in a breath between clenched teeth when you cup his crotch. He’s hard, even through the layers of his clothing you can feel it. The next kiss you and him share is more sloppy and wet as his focus got torn. You go further, slipping your hand under all those warm layers. Your fingers are ice cold. He’s rather toasty. The contrast in temperature seemed to excite him. He nipped your lip hard enough to taste a hint of blood.

“Sorry.” He mutters.

“It’s okay.” You reply in a whisper. It’s getting harder to breathe again. The cold air gets colder as your body heats up. You gently squeeze and stroke his dick. It’s already stiff, but he’s only getting harder with your help. It’s leaving you wanting. You push his pants down until it’s partly exposed. “Can we start now?”

Jiraiya nods. He offers you a small grin. His throat bobs again with a gulp before he began. He pushed all the layers getting in the way down just enough to expose himself. It’s still very cold in here. He didn’t want to undress more than he had to. But you he liked seeing naked. It’s not like he can see all of it anyways. Plus it’d be quite the feat to have sex with you with your pants barely off your thighs. That’d take some advanced maneuvering that neither you nor him have the energy for. Your body is being squished by his. The heat is being shared. You may be naked but you don’t seem to mind the exposure so long as he’s here to make you warm.

“Slow... please.” You ask when the tip presses into you.

“Okay.”

He does as you ask. With each inch being introduced inside of you at an acceptable pace that allowed you to adjust to it. Your body is still cold and stiff. Anything fast feels as if it may snap your body like a frozen piece of brittle chocolate.

Once his hips hit yours, you let out a breath. You hadn’t realized you held it. All your focus was absorbed in what he was doing. At the same time he sighed out a breath. He too was incredibly focused on what he was doing and how it felt. Which was phenomenal.

“You’re still okay?” Jiraiya asks again. Only how his voice is less calm. It wavers slightly with that haze of arousal, like any movement from you could cause him to lose all composure.

“I’m fine. Are you okay?” You return the question in the same tone.

“Yeah... you feel great.”

“So do you.”

Again you got that smile. Only now it was a tad bit weaker. His cheeks are red. So is his nose. His eyes are almost unfocused, yet unable to tear away from yours. He makes the first move. His hips rise up a few inches before pushing back down. The whole time he’s watching you and your reaction. The soft groan that falls from his mouth is intoxicating.

Why does it feel so good? Better than you’ve had before. The best you can convey how it feels is to moan and have your head lull back. Your hips roll when he pulls away again. He took advantage of it and his wonderful lips go back to tease your neck. His hands slide down your hips to your ass. It braced them against the cold floor and helped guide you to work with him. As soon as he did, it somehow felt even better.

The only noises in the cave was heavy breathing broken up by the occasional moan. Jiraiya was... fairly quiet. The bites he was leaving on your neck were sometimes stopped so he could take in a bigger breath. Sometimes he moaned your name. To which you would tuck your face against his cheek, your mouth by his ear for you to moan his name in return. His hips would speed up for a few beats before he calmed down enough to get a grip on himself. You tuck your legs around his, unsure how else to help him get off.

You are getting warmer. So is he. The fog from your breathing is more thick as your body temperature rises. If this was the secret to cold survival all along... then both you and he would have done this sooner. Airing your grievances and almost freezing to death with him has made this much better.

Jiraiya’s face cringes for a moment before relaxing again into pleasure. You feel his legs flex and the constant pace he’s impressively kept for some time broke stride for a moment. It seems he’s too prideful to admit he’s sore. He’s been in this position for hours. For the time he’s laid on you and took care of you to now, it can’t be comfortable anymore. You take action to fix it.

With a hard push that surprised him, you roll one righty with him. It felt like ice stabbed into your skin as the protective layer around you slipped off your shoulders and the air made its way down your back. He groaned as he landed roughly on the ground. His head thunking to the cold rocks and back dangerously close to scraping against them. Had not his coat landed perfectly in place, he’d be worse off.

You stay low as he had. You keep your hands on his shoulders. You take over. Kissing him and rolling your hips as he had when he was on top. He reacted the same as you had. Gasping your name in pleasure as his head lulls back. He squeezes your ass to encourage you. Not that you need much encouragement. This is too good to ever want to stop.

“Damn... you...” Jiraiya gasps out the words. It seems he’s now struggling to convey his thoughts.

“What? What do you want?” You whisper, your lips a hair away from his.

“You! Fuck me, woman! I’m close!”

He’s cute when he’s frustrated. Now he knows how you felt. Being around him frustrated you a lot. Now you hold the reins. You sink fully down and rock. The best way to do it is to put your ass into it. Rocking forward and back with a little bit of lift. His fingers dig into your thighs. You cradle his cheeks and pant through your mouth a fraction away from his. You can taste and smell his breath. To keep him teased you purse your lips so they barely graze his. His react but couldn’t catch your lips fully. In response he growls between clenched teeth.

“Touch me more, Jiraiya.” You breathlessly request.

His lips twitch into a smile. He exhales a chuckle. A sting of pain hits your ass when he smacks it. It’s a jolt to your system you didn’t expect. A squeak escaped you as a result. He chuckles again. Like before, his hands travel firm along your skin. It leaves a trail in its wake as your body clings to the warmth of his fingers. Along your sides. He cups your breasts, supporting them and massaging them. His palms push up to brace against them harder while his fingers flex to squeeze. From how he is holding them, he can pinch your nipples while continuing to play with your boobs. He follows with the motion of you riding him, never making it painful with tugging.

The added teasing is just what you needed. It gets you more excited. Enough to get closer to the edge. Eager to meet the end and all of its fantastic feelings, you speed up. Jiraiya stammers your name. It’s all he gets out before you seal his voice away with a kiss. It was hungry and aggressive. Like it had been before he took your pants off.

The tension in your body that had been building for so long was getting too tight. Like a spring coiled too tightly. Or one too many bands around a ball. The anticipation of the release was reaching its end. That glorious flood of stimulation washed over you. You freeze as it steals all other functions in your head.

Jiraiya is no better. Tense and focused on the same feeling. The front of his thighs keep bumping against your ass as his legs shuffle and writhe in pleasure. The kiss broke a second later. The descent from the high had allowed both you and him to breathe again. In alternating patterns, you and him gasp for air. For the first time the coldness of it was refreshing.

Your body relaxes. When it does after such an overloading experience, you shake and become weak. You collapse on top of Jiraiya, who had similarly become jelly as you had. His legs and arms are sprawled out. His chest is still moving deeply for air. It rocks you... almost enough to fall asleep to. You shut your eyes.

Before you could really relax Jiraiya rolled you over. Suddenly you are on your side and so is he. He’s facing you, looking rather cheeky about it. He tucked his arm under his head to cradle it. He’s smirking while looking you up and down.

“So... you’ve liked me for a long time, hm~?”

You huff at him and feel the heat of your blush. Cocky old perv. He laughs loud enough to have it echo around the walls. It’s a good laugh. Even when you weren’t exactly a fan of his, that laugh made you smile. It was so happy. All those around him that heard it seem to notice, but he didn’t care. It was nice. You rest your head against his chest. A move that quieted him. His free arm wrapped around your back and pulled you closer.

“Don’t tease me.” You grumble.

“Sorry. It’s kinda easy.”

For some time, you and Jiraiya talk. There’s not much else to do. Both you and him are exhausted. The energy it takes to have sex isn’t usually so draining, but the effect of the painfully slow suck of chakra the ice does as well has taken a toll. It was a foolish idea to expend so much energy, but it was worth it. It feels... good to finally just talk to him. Your old habit of lashing out at him has left. He’s fun to talk to. Smart... charming. Not as infuriating. His voice is nice too. Deep and comforting. The vibrations from his chest against your ear was oddly calming. His hand travels up and down your back in gentle strokes as he speaks. It feels good enough to lull you asleep.

A loud noise broke it. The peace of the calm talk was shattered by a bang. You jump and crane your neck to look behind you. There is where the thick wall of unnatural ice is that is holding you and Jiraiya captive. You look back and exchange a look with him. Shit.

It’s the fastest you’ve moved in a while. The scramble to cover yourself overrides your pain in moving. Your body is stiff and drained, but if that’s the enemy you can’t be caught with your pants down. If it’s your teammates... well that’s even worse! They’d be relishing in the opportunity to poke fun at you. You get dressed. Not well but you’re dressed. You turn to Jiraiya and see he’s just finishing up getting himself sorted. He looks as if that never happened. He cleans up good, but the smell of sex is still lingering in the frosty air. Hopefully whoever is on the other side doesn’t notice.

The tip of a weapon cracks it’s way through the ice. You back up a little, not wanting to get hit by the ice that fractured off of it. When the weapon retracted, the ice froze over again. But the person on the other side got in a word.

“Are you okay?” They managed to cry out before the ice reformed. It was a teammate. They did come!

“You know...” Jiraiya trails off as he stood beside you. “Wind feeds fire from what I remember in school.”

“Not if the wind is too strong.” You reply.

You raise your gaze to look at him with a grin. He smiles back at you. He raised his arms with his hands close together to form seals.

“I think I can keep up. Can you?”

You roll your eyes at him and copy his stance. He’s too cheeky sometimes. When the weapon strikes again, this time with the faint blurry shapes of two pairs of hands holding the handle. It made the weapon strike deeper. With that hole and window of opportunity, both you and Jiraiya combine elements to make that hole bigger.

It worked. Once the inferno had subsided, you grabbed his hand and pulled him along through the hole in the ice. It was crawling back at a rapid pace to close up again so the window was small. His foot almost got caught in the reformed ice. He stumbled and fell, bringing you down with him. You land in the snow on your back with him on top. When you lock eyes with him, you pause. So does he. He smiles.

“I told you they would come.” He whispers.

“Yeah yeah... You were right again.” You whisper back to him.

“Not surprising.”

You scoff while he chuckles. Without a second thought, he leaned in and kissed you. It’s nice and all but... Your teammates gasp.

“Just what the hell happened in there?” One asked in shock.

“Yeah, you two were cats and dogs when we left!” The other added.

“Someone came to their senses.” Jiraiya replied with that coy grin that still drives you crazy.

You scoff again and push him off of you. He laughs as he rolls into the snow. You get up and storm off ahead.

“Wait! Babe! I was just joking!” He calls after you. “Come on! I’m the leader here, you gotta follow me!”

“Be quiet!”

His footsteps crunch in the snow as he ran to catch up to you. By the time he did he was puffing like he ran a marathon. The lingering effects of the cave were still clinging. He’s probably exhausted. You are too. You stop and let him catch up with heavier dragging steps. His defined steps in the snow had become a thick never breaking trail as he lost the energy to lift his legs over the bank.

“Are you okay?” You ask.

“Yeah. Just tired.” He answers with a smile that told you not to worry. “I’m calling off the mission. Our enemy has fled as our team just reported to me. Everyone is tired from the fight.”

“Home time?”

“Home time.” He confirms with a nod.

Again... Jiraiya is unique in that way. Most shinobi would have insisted on completing the mission. It’s that basic philosophy that ninja are trained in, that the mission should always be completed. But with the circumstances of this one being to mostly scout out the threat and observe the enemy. Slay was more or less if the situation had become that dire where the team had no choice but face the music. He is satisfied with this outcome... in more ways than one. The mission has been completed. He’s a true believer in returning home to fight another day. There’s no reason to run his team into the ground pursuing an enemy they are ill fit to take out. No one has to die for an option he doesn’t have to take. It’s a waste of good people.

You hang back to let him take lead. He’s well traveled enough and has your trust to take a path you know will lead home. Home sounds good. With blankets and hot springs to heat you up. Tea and soups. Your oh so comfortable bed. It’d be even more comfortable to share these things with that charming ole perv. You and him talked about it enough in the cave to make you nostalgic for it all and to share it with him.

You take the first step to go home. Then you black out. The last thing you register is the cold snow against your cheek and your team blurting your name in surprise.

It was just chakra exhaustion.

From what you heard, Jiraiya carried you home and to the hospital himself. You woke up there, alone. You were discharged with a promise to keep warm and take it easy. It’s not hard to do, but it can be lonely.

Your teammates are gossipy. They were quick to spill that you and Jiraiya had kissed. Thankfully they didn’t know the extent of your escapades with him in the cave. It got back to your friends, who lashed out at you... well... at least you know where you learned it. Kaguro and Hanako were pissed at you. It was emotionally exhausting to deal with them yelling at you and calling you a traitor. As they saw it, you picked a man over them and they didn’t want to be your friend anymore. At this point you don’t really care for their drama. If that’s what they took away from your near death experience where Jiraiya saved you, then they got some weird priorities.

For a few days you are alone. You have time off to recuperate from your mission for your health. You sit on your couch and drink tea while watching movies. You miss him. Being trapped in a cave with Jiraiya had changed how you feel about him. Doesn’t he feel the same? Maybe he is just that scummy to sleep with you and dip out of your life and you were fooled by him. He is known for being a good liar... among other things.

There’s a knock on the door. With blanket around you, you shuffle to it to answer it. The cold found it keen to follow your team home. It was snowing and frigid outside. Not exactly weather you wish to go out and recover in. Long gone are the summer days. Alas the days are now short and the seasonal depression is about to kick in for half the population here. Winter is so hard to deal with on one’s lonesome. You are no exception to this. Is it dreamy to had thought you’d spend it with someone this year?

Perhaps not.

Standing in the freshly falling snow on your doorstep is Jiraiya. He beams a smile at you. He holds out his hand, which is holding a paper to go cup with a lid. A thin wisp of steam is rising from the hole in the lid, quite plainly telling that it’s a hot drink.

“Your house is harder to find than I thought it would be!” He said with a laugh. His expression falls a little from mirth to a loving concern. “How you feeling?”

“Cold. You?”

“I’ll live. Fire chakra, you know?”

You smile and take the drink from him. You step aside to invite him in. He accepts and wanders inside. He takes off his winter gear and leaves it in your entry way where it should be. Even with that polite consideration of where to put his stuff, he still shakes out his hair like a shaggy dog. Drops of water end up on your floor and wall from the melted snow he so graciously brought in with him.

“I heard you had a falling out with some friends.” Jiraiya spoke again as you lead him to the couch.

“Yeah.” You confirm.

“Sorry. I don’t mean to cause drama.”

So he does know the context. You plunk down on your couch and he follows suit. You offer him a smile, telling him not to dwell.

“It’s okay. If they can’t understand my choices, then I guess they weren’t very good friends to begin with.”

He nods, but doesn’t comment further. He turns his eyes to your tv and asks what you’re watching. You grab the remote and hit play. Your movie began to play again. You scoot closer to him and lean against him. He put his arm around you. He’s warm. You sip at the drink he got you, surprised and delighted to find that he got you one of your favourites. It was one you mentioned in passing when talking to him in the cave.

The cave.... You steal a glance at Jiraiya. His focus is on the tv. Eyes ahead and body relaxed at he enjoys the film. If not for him, you’d probably be dead. If he didn’t follow you into the cave you would have succumbed to the cold and the despair. But he never gave up. Not on you. He had every right to. You got him into that mess and he fixed it. He never doubted himself for a moment where you had given up. You owe him.

“I... never thanked you for what you did.” You speak up, eyes now on your drink. It was sweet of him to remember. “And I never apologized. So...”

You raise your gaze. Jiraiya is looking at you. Awaiting for your words quietly.

“Thank you for saving me... and I’m sorry you had to.”

He simply smiles at you. He leans down to give you a kiss. A soft meaningful kiss that has your lips tingling in anticipation for more.

“You’re welcome!” Jiraiya happily says. He leans a little closer, the tip of his nose poking yours. “Although there are other ways you can thank me!”

You scoff at him and smile. Of course he would imply that. You chug your drink and toss the cup aside. You push Jiraiya down by his shoulders and straddle his waist. He laughs as he sinks down comfortably onto your couch while holding your hips.

“Is this what you had in mind?” You ask.

“Among other similar things.”

You grin at him. His hands slide under your shirt, gracing your cold skin with his warm fingers. They curl around the hem of your shirt and push it up. In response you pull open his shirt. With real light and no threat of death you can get a real look at at him. He’s pretty. You drag your hands down his bare chest, now able to feel and admire his body for what it was. Which was gorgeous and fit enough to put most young men to shame.

You lean down atop of him like you had in that dingy cave. You brush his hair away from his face. Jiraiya raised his head to give you a kiss. By now he’s figured out that you like to tease him. Denying him kisses and edging him on is what you did in that cave. It was fun, but he’s going to take more control this time now that you have the strength to keep up.

“Can you handle another round of me?” Jiraiya asks with that smirk of his that can drive you mad.

“Can you handle me?” You retort.

“Heh... I hope so.”

You hold his face and kiss him. He returns the gesture, cradling your face with a tenderness that melts your heart. Your night is spent doing what you had done with Jiraiya in that accursed cave. Only without the threat of death and a future of pleasure ahead. Even if this man does drive you crazy, you don’t wish to be parted from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly pretty happy with this one. I was planning on waiting until later in winter but I got hella sick and I wrote this a while ago. I’ll post something more Christmasy next week. Hopefully when I feel a little better, I can post what I want around the 20th and something very wholesome for 24th or 25th. It honestly just depends if my sickness lightens up enough to write with a consistent clear head. Hope you all enjoyed this one anyways even if it isn’t particularly Christmas like.


	63. Santa’s Lap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This year Jiraiya volunteered to be Santa for Christmas to bring joy to the children. You are his elf helper. You look out for him and his wellbeing while he’s in the red suit. It’s the last day of the little show you and him have held for the week of Christmas. Spending that time with him had you realize how nice he really his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing too sexy I just wanted to write something more cozy with a pinch of sexy. As for the late night post at least where I am idk I wasn’t sure if I wanted to post on Sunday or Monday since I am going to post on Christmas Eve or day. So stay tuned lol.

The stage was supposed to close a half hour ago. The lights are hot. The set needs to be put away, a task that you must do once this is all over. But no one wants to crush the dreams of hopeful children. It’s not so bad. There’s a few kids left. The elf outfit isn’t so uncomfortable. It’s mostly just the shoes. They’re killing you. They’re slightly too narrow on both ends which are squishing your feet. One would think that big clog like shoes would be big enough. Whatever. The joy on the children’s excited faces are worth it. Plus you gotta supervise Santa.

Jiraiya totally didn’t seem the type, right? Volunteering his whole day to be Santa. Why you aren’t sure. He volunteered you to be his elf helper the whole day. It hasn’t been so bad. You mostly just check on him and his well-being.

He’s dressed to the nines. The white trimmed red suit stuffed with a pillow for fake chub. The false beard that covered up over half his face. The hat that covered the rest. His jolly laugh he converted to the iconic ho-ho-ho sound. He hasn’t broken character once. Poor man must be boiling in that cheap costume, but he’s a trooper. He hasn’t even slumped over in the grand red throne like chair once despite the hours of being in it. Most men would have caved.

He’s leaned in close to listen to a little girl’s wish. Once she finished he gave a jolly laugh and a promise that so long as she stays good, she’ll get what she wants. You do the subtle hand off to give him a candy cane so he can give it to her, but you lean in closer to be by his ear.

“How you doing?” You whisper.

“Fine.” Was his ever so quiet reply. He took the candy from you and handed it to the girl. “Happy Holidays!” He said to her before sending her off.

“Do you need water?” You whisper again.

“I can hold on. There’s only a couple of kids left.”

You pat his shoulder in a gesture of understanding. Jiraiya simply nods before inviting the next child up. He has on a big smile as he lifts the kid up to sit on his lap and invites them to tell him what they want for Christmas. This one was a bit more shy, but quietly gave in and told him.

Jiraiya has had a good run today. Only one very young kid that broke down into tears in his arms with their mother sitting on the armrest beside him. The mother did her best to console her child and the panic was practically palatable as Jiraiya fears upset children the most. It was the closest Jiraiya got to breaking the facade of Santa. Thankfully you were there to grip his arm as a reminder to get through it in a single piece.

“Candy cane, Miss Elf!” Your Santa orders with his hand out to take one.

“Of course, Santa.” You say with a smile. You hand one over.

“Merry Christmas!”

The kid accepted the treat before leaping off of Santa to run to their awaiting parents. Okay. One more. The anticipation to get this last kid over and done with was building. So close to shutting this operation down. It goes by smoothly. Santa listens dutifully to the child’s wish before you hand off the final candy cane. Their mother was quick to collect her child and thanked Santa for staying late.

“All in a days work! Merry Christmas!” Jiraiya bids them farewell in his jolly ole Saint Nick voice while waving. Once the door to the little pretend house was shut, he sighed so loudly it was clear exactly how he felt.

“Long day, Mister Claus?” You ask.

“That’s one way to put it.”

He pulls off the cap and pulls down the beard to take in the first real deep breath he’s taken in hours. Those false whiskers can be suffocating! The moustache has been shoved up against his nostrils and tickling his lips the whole day. It took so much willpower to not rip it off in front of children who still believe in magic and unicorns. With lead heavy arms he pulls open the jacket of the costume to free the heat he’s been sweltering in. The round pillow that he had shoved under his coat was thrown across the room.

You hand him a bottle of water and he all too happily gulps it down. It’s not too bad a sight. Jiraiya is quite pretty to look at. He’s not to bad looking half dressed and sweaty. It’s the first time you’ve seen him with his hair up. His long locks are pinned back into a messy fraying bun atop his crown to hide it. His bangs had long sprung free. It blended into the beard well enough to not make the children doubt his costume. He looks tired, but content.

“Thanks for staying late.” He said. He took another drink of water before speaking again. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know. But what would Santa be without his trusted elf?” You reply.

“Lonely and half cooked.”

You share a chuckle with him. You sit down on the arm rest of the chair beside him. You lift your legs up one at a time in order to peel off the painful shoes. A sigh of relief is breathed as you release them from that prison. You lean back to rest against the back of the chair. From there the perspective of what you still gotta do sinks in with despair.

All the cardboard and wooden decorations you have to take down. The tree that has to be disassembled and put back into its box. The chair has to be bubble wrapped. All the fake snow has to be stuffed into bags.

It was part of the contract for working here. The pop up of Santa’s house in the middle of the village is just that. A pop up. It’s temporary. Assembled for a few days in a vacant store that doesn’t have occupancy in December. But in January it gets rented out. Which means only the people who work on the Santa meet and greet thing must take it all down themselves. Jiraiya had been elected to lead this year’s display as Santa and he promised to take care of it. You agreed to help being apart of his team for this project. Everyone else left at the original closing time. Today was the final day. So everything has to be done before tomorrow morning when the people who rented the lot plan to do an inspection. It’s the day before Christmas Eve! Who wants to work hard during this time? Certainly not you.

“You can go if you want.” Jiraiya interrupted and must have read your unhappy thoughts. “It’s my fault we stayed open late. I can handle getting everything packed up.”

“...” That does sound tempting. You look over to him. He looks as exhausted as you do. He’ll be here till dawn if you leave him to do it all. “Nah.... I’ll stay and help.”

“Only if you want.”

Jiraiya leans back against the plush back of the chair and shut his eyes. It seems he’s not all that motivated to clean. He’s breathing deeply as if asleep. He might be. He only taken one break today. It was only a few minutes so it was hardly a break. He fully embraced his role and wolfed down a handful of cookies another volunteer brought in for the crew then washed it down with some milk. It was the only thing available in the break room at the time. You at least got a full fifteen minutes to eat a meal you had brought from home.

Heh poor guy. You reach out to play with his hair. It’s damp from sweat. All of him is. It’s hard work being Santa for a day. Jiraiya hums as you do something he likes. You tuck away strands behind his ear and smoothing out the hair that’s pinned back.

“Can I ask you something?” You inquire.

A smile grows on Jiraiya’s lips. It’s slightly sinister. The type of sinister that’s not all that serious but you know you probably won’t like what he’s gotta say. He’s a notorious perv after all. It’s quite a shock he got the role as Santa in the first place. Why did he even agree to take apart in all of this?

“I’ll answer any question you want, but as you know.” Jiraiya pauses as he raises his arm with his hand lazily motions towards his lap. “Any question you wish to ask Santa has to be done in his lap.”

Of course he’d insist on that. Yet you aren’t as weirded out as you thought you would be. In fact it sounds kinda nice to sit in this Santa’s lap and tell him how naughty you’ve been. This Santa would punish you more than with a lump of coal.

You lean towards him to let gravity do most of the work. You slide down the arm rest butt first to his lap. Jiraiya jumps slightly along with a grunt. It seems he didn’t expect you to actually do it. It’s more of a lounge in his lap. With the arm rests on either side of the chair cradling your back and calves while he supported the rest of you. You rest your head against his shoulder. His hand slid down and rested on your thigh.

“Ask away, Miss Elf.” Jiraiya says.

“Why did you agree to be Santa this year?”

He opens his eyes looks down at you. His brow is raised as if both surprised and doubtful of your question. More accurately he’s not impressed with it.

“Why are you so surprised by it? Am I not good enough to be the jolly fat man?” He asks instead of answers.

“Of course you are. I guess I just pegged you as someone who didn’t like the holidays.”

“Normally you’d be right. I never was all that crazy about celebrating anything. Too much work, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it.” You agree with him. You adjust slightly in his lap and nuzzle yourself closer to him. “So what happened this year? Change of heart?”

“In all honesty, I never had anyone to celebrate any holiday with until recently.” Jiraiya pauses and his eyes drift away as he seems to be recalling a memory. His hand scoots up higher on your thigh. Tingles dance along your nerves as he touches skin that rarely does get touched on you. “It’s nice having people around to partake in all this stuff with now. I wanted to do something different this year to help others.”

“Would a girl have anything to do with that?”

He hesitates. It’s agony for you. Why? Why does it feel odd and suspenseful? Shouldn’t you be happy for him to have a nice lass to celebrate with? But it be better if it was you. You have gotten close to Jiraiya over the week. Close enough to have drinks with him after working all day together and happy to hang out with him past the required timeframe just to help out.

Jiraiya is much nicer than his reputation perceives him. Sure he’s a bit lewd and inappropriate at times, but the attention was nice. He’s charming in his own perverted way when he talks to you. He’s mastered this weird balance of kindness and sexuality when he talks to you that has you intrigued for more. The only time isn’t a hound is when he was surrounded by children and playing the role as a magical sleigh riding overly happy man that delivers presents to every good boy and girl in a single night. Even then he can manage to get in a double entendre whilst speaking to you around the kids without corrupting any tiny minds. He didn’t get much out today since it was busy and he almost passed out from heat stroke in the Santa costume. That and yesterday a mother mistook his flirtatious comment meant for you for her and she gave him a good slap across the face before storming off with her son. He’s been more cautious ever since. Any complaints to the committee that put this all together and he’d lose his job as Santa.

“Well sorta. I’ve found someone I like.” He finally said. “She’s made this holiday season much easier to deal with. I never really liked being alone.”

“Me neither. Especially around this time of year.”

It fell quiet again. In a nice way. It’s not awkward or tense. Jiraiya tilts his head and lowers it until his cheek rested on the top of your head. It’s really comforting being around you. His selfless little elf who has done so much for him. You have just been so... wonderful. The lights click off. They’re on a timer. It only encourages him to simply fall asleep while holding you. He’s slept in worse places.

“Look outside.” You whisper. “Isn’t it pretty?”

He hums. He opens his very heavy eyes. The display window was now perfectly framing the outside. The streetlights outside are softly illuminating the outside. The slow snowfall glittered with the lights. It’s those pretty big flakes of snow that lands on hair, gloves, and jackets in perfect unique little pieces of delicate art. The kind of snow he wouldn’t mind just standing in with his face towards the sky. His eyes open just enough to look at the black sky broken up by one of nature’s greatest creations.

Then his gaze falls back to you. You can be like the snow. Soft and gentle. Adventurous but grounded. Not necessarily cold but certainly whimsical. There’s something so wonderful about the freedom of snow but it’s destined to fall to the ground eventually. Not that it’s a bad thing. Ground bound things have adventures too and their beauty is often better than things that fly away on a whim. Like he is. Like you are.

Maybe it won’t be so bad to hang around the village this year for the holidays. He usually leaves before the twenty third. It just became easier to celebrate alone than wallow around all the joy that others were feeling. It made him feel worse. Jiraiya shut eyes again and tucks his face closer against your hair.

“Yeah... really pretty.” He mumbles. He mindlessly tapped his fingers on your leg, tempted and wanting to touch you more.

You keep flexing your legs. It’s still a little strange. Jiraiya hasn’t ever been so close to you. He’s never touched you more than a friendly pat on the back. But he always lingers to make a lewd comment, especially about your elf outfit. Which to be fair is quite skimpy for a kid’s attraction. Thin green tights paired with a short red skirt was kinda too sexy. Luckily any touchy father that overstepped their bounds had an angry Santa on their ass. Jiraiya didn’t like it when others tried to get too sexual with you. It was somewhat funny how protective he’s grown over you. It feels good though. No one had cared like that.

“We should start... before we fall asleep.” Jiraiya broke the quiet just as it got peaceful enough.

“Okay.”

He gives your leg a good squeeze before letting you slide off of him. Your body feels cold without him there and sore from moving after being so perfectly cozy. A long groan fills the room as Jiraiya seems to be summoning the will to get this task done. You began to disassemble the set pieces while he did more of the heavier lifting. It was plenty of back and forth trips to the storage with armfuls of props.

In reality it probably didn’t take that long. It just felt like eons. From packing boxes and disassembling the more complicated things. Jiraiya fighting with the tree like it was a master of deflection for a half hour. His quiet cursing wasn’t so befitting of Saint Nick. He vented out his frustration with the fake tree by tossing it into storage once he wrangled it back into its box. It clattered and broke something as the muffled crunch of glass was true. He looked at you once it fell quiet.

“A problem for next year.”

“Or maybe you can take it to your workshop, Santa.”

He snorts in amusement. He takes another look around.

“Is that everything?”

“I think so.”

“Good. I’m so done with this.”

He’s grumpy when he’s tired. That’s not so much in the Christmas spirit. Which is understandable at this time of night. You understand how he feels. The idea of bed and sleep was too good to be so close. Your feet move almost beyond your control. You kinda just drift into his arms. It feels right to be hugging him. He doesn’t move for a moment.

You’re hugging him. It fills him with a flood of warmth. Jiraiya returns your hug. Maybe he’s too tired and dehydrated from being Santa but it feels very nice. Better then a simple hug should. He’s liked you for a long time now. In all honesty he wasn’t sure how approach you. Or how to impress you. It was a godsend when you got assigned to his team for this volunteer work. He was correct about the kind of woman you are. Beautiful. Kind. Funny. You take his crap with a grace no woman has bothered to do. You care. During this time of year that matters to him. It doesn’t feel so dark.

“I don’t... want to go home alone tonight.” You mutter.

“Really? I don’t want to go home alone either.”

“Did you want to come home with me?”

He began to laugh. It was a soft laugh. Much like who he was dressed as, it was a full body type of laugh no matter how quiet. Jiraiya tucked his fingers under your chin and guided you to look up at him. His expression alone was telling. He liked that you asked that. He’s got a certain smirk on when he’s thinking something dirty. He’s wearing it now. Along with his eyes no longer dull with exhaustion but bright with a tad too much mischief, it made for an interesting combo. The effect of that combo had you on high alert for his next move.

It happened fast. It lingered long enough to have a lasting impression. Jiraiya is a good kisser. It’s wasn’t wet like he was desperate. Nor was it too tight like he was afraid to open up. It conveys how he feels about you.

“So long as you keep on that outfit.” He said.

“Really? Then what will you wear?”

“Oh ho ho!” He laughs loudly and places his hands on his hips. “If you’re into that kind of thing, I can keep on the suit and hat.”

You laugh before falling into another one of his kisses. He just seemed to know everything you liked. Holding you close and banishing the world world away for several seconds. You run your hands down his arms. You find his hands and take a step back whilst holding his hands.

“Come along. Santa has to have a good night’s rest before Christmas, doesn’t he?” You ask as you step closer to the door.

“Among other things he needs, I guess a good sleep beside a charming woman wouldn’t do an old man any bad.” He agrees. “Especially if that charming young woman does some very naughty things for him.”

“To herself or the old man?”

“Depends on how badly she wants to be on the nice list.”

A scoff comes from your throat. He’s such a pervert. But he’s at least a very charming pervert. The cold air of the winter night was chilly enough to wake up some of your half asleep senses. You cuddle up to Jiraiya as he locks the place up. He’s still pretty warm while the cold cut through you. That must be why Santa wears the suit. It traps in all that toasty heat that would be nice to leech from.

Jiraiya pulled on the handle a couple of times to make sure he locked up correctly, he was satisfied that he done it right. He put his arm around you to share some of his warmth. It was a little cumbersome to lead him to your apartment, but it got done. The journey there was quite peaceful. The empty night streets have always felt safe in Konoha. While others may find it unnerving, it’s not so bad with the snow and... well... the large handsome man holding you close.

Once inside the welcoming warmth of a home, Jiraiya was quick to make himself comfortable. He kicked off his shoes and found your bedroom. You roll your eyes and follow him. He’s collapsed face up on your bed like he’s lived here all his life. His eyes are shut and he’s breathing deeply. Well if he’s gonna make himself all comfortable in your house...

You crawl on overtop of him and lean down to give him a kiss. He responded as perfectly as he had kissed you back in the store. His hands travel around your body. They massage and explore. They squeeze and find the edges of your festive outfit to snake under to touch your bare skin. It’s a slow process.

His grip tightens on you just enough for him to keep hold. Your lips part to ask him what he was going to do, but he moves before you can. He flipped positions so that you are underneath him and he’s overtop. He flashes a smile at you before returning to kiss you breathless. From this position he had more room to

Much like his kisses, Jiraiya knew how to bed you like a pro. Gently but with passion. A surprising amount stayed on. The exhaustion that had hung over you and him began to fade the more exciting the sex got. He indulged a little in his role he held over the week, making a few dirty Santa themed requests of you whenever he wanted to amp up the game. As his little helper, you couldn’t refuse him.

It was dawn by the time you and him were spent. All the work and tiredness that had disappeared while having sex came back with a vengeance. Once tucked under the covers, you had the heavy arm of your Santa slung over your middle. His soft snoring was rather telling of how tired he was. He was out like a light the moment he got aquatinted with the pillow.

It’s not so bad. Sure it’s not how every couple gets together but it’s certainly one hell of a story to tell. You graze the back of your hand against Jiraiya’s cheek. It was barely a touch. He still noticed. He grumbled something unintelligible. It sounded loving whatever he attempted to say in his state of barely awake.

A new relationship is always strange. It’s exciting. Despite the things that are unsure about dating Jiraiya, there’s one thing for certain. You won’t be alone this year for the holidays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probs the only mall Santa I’m into. 
> 
> Perhaps a little early but I want some engagement. How do we feel about maybe doing a masquerade type ball chapter for New Years? If just to be obnoxious about fancy party clothing description, elvish hairstyles and of course the mystery of dancing with a handsome stranger. As for the Christmas Eve/Day post, it’s gonna be more melancholy in tone so maybe something more bouncy for New Years will be nice.


	64. Home for Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya got called away for a mission for the week of Christmas. It sucks a lot since this was supposed to be your first Christmas with him as a couple. He promises that he’ll do what he can, but it doesn’t look like it’s gonna happen. After a slightly awkward confrontation at a party, you decide it would be better to be alone than surrounded by people happier than you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas y’all! Here’s something kinda comforting and lighthearted.

Saying goodbye to Jiraiya is nothing new. You and him have made a tradition out of it. You walk with him to the gate mostly in silence as the weight of what he had to do hung over both you and him like a dark cloud. Today it just stung more. It’s the week before Christmas. A time that’s supposed to be about being around the ones you love. It won’t be the same without him here. It’ll be glum without him home to indulge in all the gushy lovey dovey things a couple can do during Christmas. It’s your first Christmas with him. It’s not supposed to be like this.

“I’ll be home for New Years, okay?” He said.

“New Years?” You question. “You won’t be home at all for Christmas?”

“Sorry. I don’t think I can do my mission that quickly.”

You drop your head to stare at the ground. That sucks. His hand blocks your vision from the white snowy ground. He places his fingertips on your chin and he pushes it up to force you to look at him. He doesn’t look happy. He’s smiling but it’s a polite type of smile. A smile that says he doesn’t like these circumstances either but he doesn’t want to pout.

“I’ll be home before you know it. I promise.” Jiraiya attempts to reassure you.

It doesn’t work very well. He can read you. You are still upset. He doesn’t want to leave either, but he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do. Leaving this time of year sucks. Especially when his life is going to be on the line for most of the time. He’ll think about you a lot. The pretty woman that made him glad to be around for the holidays.

One final kiss and he’s off. As is tradition, he stops when he’s just far enough away where all his features begin to get too fuzzy. He raises his arm and waves to you. You wave back. After that he is back off to blend into the snow. To travel farther away. Where he’ll spend Christmas alone. Away from you. His friends. Away from everything he cares about.

Jiraiya lied. Each day felt long. It was lonely. He’s not here and you can feel that. The house you share with him seems too echoey and cold. All the decorations he helped you put up for the holidays are a dull reminder that he’s not here. He put up the tree. He fastened on an artificial bunch of mistletoe under the bedroom doorway and always pulled you under it for a kiss. Of course that always leads to more than just kissing.

For five days you kinda just bummed around. You finished wrapping up your final few presents and set them under the tree. There’s some for you under there. Each one wrapped up with a surprising amount of finesse. With crisp sharp edges that are folded tightly and taped along the seams. Each one is finished with a bow. And of course the tags are written in an elegant way. In plain honesty Jiraiya is much better at gift wrapping than he’ll ever admit. He gets flustered if you say anything about it. You’ve watched him once or twice. He must find it calming because he’s quiet when he does it.

Alas you can’t wallow in loneliness tonight thinking about how wonderful your boyfriend is at wrapping gifts. Some of Jiraiya’s friends are having a get together and they invited you. It’s supposed to be a casual thing. No gift exchanges. Just bring something to bring to the table and whatever you want to drink for the night. No one should be alone on Christmas. It’s clear they didn’t want you to be alone. A summon of a dog scratched at your door with a letter in its mouth with a kindly worded reminder that the party is tonight. But Jiraiya is all alone tonight. Out in the cold doing something dangerous.

After dragging yourself off of the floor before the tree, you get changed and gathered all you needed before heading out to the party. It’s a little awkward. You aren’t a shinobi. It’s harder to relate to a group of shinobi when you aren’t one of them. They are always nice to you. You are welcomed into a warm apartment that has the wonderful scent of the holidays. Spices, something is being roasted, chocolate. It’s inviting. Even so it would be better with your partner beside you.

Guy insisted on hosting this year. Like he does with everything, it’s a little over the top. The place is decorated to the nines. Almost to the point of being blinding to the eyes. He’s dressed in a tacky festive sweater and almost collapsed your lung with his hug. You offer your sacrifice for the table, which was a platter of gingerbread cookies. He gladly sweeps it away from you to place it on the large table that was practically exploding with food already. It’s a lot for a party of eight including you. Then again you’ve seen some of these people pack away double their body weight with food.

Guy is a rather excellent host. You sat down on the couch, which was situated close to the window, and he was offering you things. A plate of this. Have you tried that. He made hot chocolate from scratch and was quite proud to share it. That you accept.

“Great! With or without booze!”

“Uh.. with sounds good.”

“Excellent choice! I’m a pro at mixology!”

He bolts off in his typical fashion, as if being chased by hell hounds.

“You might regret that choice.”

You look over to see Kakashi casually sitting beside you. When did he get there? You saw him over by the table when you first came in. He’s too sneaky for his own good sometimes. His eye lazily draws up from his book which is mounted in his hand to look at you. He’s not the worst company to have.

“Why is that?” You amuse him and ask.

“Guy has a deceptively heavy hand. You’ll be wasted before ten.”

“By how I’ve seen him train, I’m not surprised that he doesn’t measure by shots.”

You swear you can see a smile beyond that mask. He finds you amusing at least. Out of all of Jiraiya’s friends, Kakashi is the hardest to read. Lots of these people are surprisingly open. All except for him. He keeps to himself and doesn’t show his face. Yet out of all of these people, he is someone you would trust with a secret. A warm drink is placed in your hand. You turn your gaze forward to be met by your lovely host.

“Thanks.” You say simply.

“It was my pleasure!”

You are forced to scoot when Guy fancied himself a spot beside you. For a normally always energetic man, he looks worn out. Well worn out for Guy standards. He could probably still leap over everyone and do some kind of wild challenge no one put him up to. So here you are now. Sipping at a hot chocolate that tasted more like rum than chocolate whilst stuck between two men who are nice and all, they’re just not your boyfriend.

“Have you heard from Lord Jiraiya?” Kakashi starts the conversation back up again.

“No.” You reply. You try to stay neutral, but it does bum you out. You sigh and stare into your drink. “He doesn’t usually contact me when he’s out on duty.”

“I see.”

“That’s okay though.” Guy chirps in with his cheery optimism. “No news is always good news.”

“Not always.”

Sheesh. Aren’t they chipper company. You are sitting between two opposing moods. Maybe the generously spiked drink is more of a godsend then a curse. You take a bigger swig. Perhaps some alcohol is needed to get through this Christmas Eve.

“May I ask you something?”

A growing sense of dread is building within you whenever Kakashi starts talking to you now. You take another drink before inviting the masked man to speak.

“What does Lord Jiraiya see in you? I don’t mean to be rude, you are just nothing similar to his previous partners.”

Was that insulting? It felt insulting. It is a valid question.. kinda. It’s a loaded question. There’s no simple answer to such a complicated question. Kakashi’s tone wasn’t rude, it was a genuine interest. He said it like he was asking you something academic. Guy was offended for you as he scolded his friend for being insensitive.

“It’s okay. I guess I am different from all the other girls Jiraiya has been with.” You agree... to an extent. “But maybe that’s a good thing. If those girls didn’t work for him, then he’s trying something new. And I can assure you that it’s going well.”

You finish your drink and stand. Kakashi offers you an apology. He really didn’t mean anything by it, it was just a curious question. A curious question that a lot of people must have. You tend to keep to yourself. Meeting new people is hard. Kakashi was the first one who had the brass to actually ask.

The warm air suddenly feels stuffy. It’s too much. Maybe going to this party not in a party mood wasn’t a good idea.

“I’m going to go outside for a bit.” You announce.

Some fresh crisp night air may do you some good. You are tired, tipsy, and very upset that the one you love isn’t here. You put on your coat and boots and return to the cold. The spiked hot chocolate had just warmed you up. You stuff your hands into your pockets and set off. There’s not really a destination in mind. All of the village is pretty at night. It’s even more gorgeous with lights strung up on every building. The trees that are within the village are lit up as well.

It’s more fun to walk and admire what people have done when you are with someone. Jiraiya made a date out of it. He bought you something warm to sip on, he linked your arm around his and he escorted you around town to see all the lights. It’s simple, but it couldn’t have been more perfect. Before long you find yourself wandering to the village square.

It’s usually empty until December. It’s a tradition to put up a big tree in the middle of town all decorated with things the children of Konoha have made. It’s a little messy, but no less beautiful. Paper garland and popcorn on strings. Wooden sloppily painted ornaments of all kinds and colours. It’s made with love. Anyone can see that. Your boyfriend quietly admitted that this is his favourite display during Christmas. He then even quieter admitted it was his favourite tradition he took part of as a boy. The tree back home has a small collection of homemade ornaments that he was thrilled to make again. He liked it even more making them with you. Being apart of a new family means new traditions. Seeing the lights and trees. Making ornaments together.... Being together.

“What the hell are you doing out here?” Jiraiya shouted at you.

Jiraiya... Jiraiya?!

You turn your head in the direction of that all too familiar voice. He’s several feet away. He’s still in his travel gear. He looks tired. He looks annoyed. He’s got that scowl of disapproval on as he glares at you. He never did like it when you decided to go on night walks.

A squeal comes out of you before you could stop it. Any composure you wished to keep completely fled your body. He’s home! You hop, lunge, leap, bound across the square with your arms out. The annoyance on his face melted and he smiles. He opened up his arms just before you collided with him.

“Whoa!”

There was several seconds of wobbling as Jiraiya attempted to keep his balance. He failed and fell back into the snow with you in his arms. There’s a flair of pain. For a few reasons. The biggest being the uncomfortable hard things he has in his pack that is now digging into his back. The pain is totally worth it. You shuffle up until you can kiss him. It holds for a while. It’s a greeting he has been looking forward to since he left.

“I thought you said you couldn’t get home until New Years?” You ask.

“I guess fighting for a pretty woman makes me work harder.”

He can be a big sap sometimes. You hold his cheeks and kiss him again. Having him home for Christmas is the best. No more awkward party time! Just him and you back at home. All cuddled up together like he never left.

“I missed you.” You tell him.

“I missed you too.” He replies. He looks around at the snow. “We should head home before one of us gets a cold for Christmas.”

You sat back and put a knee out to begin the process of getting back up. Your knees are a tad sore now. They crashed against the ground when you tackled Jiraiya to the ground. Totally worth it. There’s no other way to greet him. He likes it. He can usually withstand your force. This is a rare case where you managed to get him to the ground.

Once to your feet Jiraiya gets up as well. He’s... slower than usual. Probably just the cold. He wasn’t a big fan of it. He winces. Just for a second. But you caught it. He’s hurt. You sneak your arm around his back. He’s a tough man who didn’t like to ask for help. You do what you can without hurting his pride. He’s not limping. It must be on an arm or somewhere on his torso.

It’s slower than usual to get home. But you get him and yourself home in one piece. He plunks himself onto the couch in the living room. His gear and pack are abandoned along the trail he took to get to the cushions. You sat down beside him and he was quick to adjust so you are his pillow. His head is rested on your chest with his arms around your lower back. He generates enough heat where you don’t need a blanket.

“How was the party?” He asks. His voice is already grumbly from getting sleepy.

“Oh well... it was okay.”

“Did something happen?”

“Not really. You know me, I’m not big on parties.”

“Hm.”

Jiraiya falls quiet. His breathing getting deeper and deeper as he began to drift away. To soothe him further, you play with his hair. Long smooth strokes with your fingers deep in his hair. He hums as you do this, a sign that he’s enjoying it. Yet something keeps bugging you.

“Honey?” You whisper.

“What?” He barely huffs out the word.

“Where are you hurt?”

“...” He chuckles after a moment of silence. “I can’t get anything by you.”

“Not when it comes to your health.”

His arms adjust to give you a squeeze. A soft groan follows as he agitated his injury.

“I got cut on my ribs, nothing to be worried about.” 

“Just a cut? Nothing more?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry about it. I’ll live.”

He tends to play down his injuries, but in this case you believe him. As stubborn as he is he won’t compromise his health. He shifts his head as he attempts to find that sweet spot he was cozied into before. Soon his soft snores are by your ear. Following his example, you get comfortable and fall asleep...

“Babe!... Babe!”

You are rudely awakened by Jiraiya’s chiding and shaking of your body. His weight is no longer on you. The bright light of morning is clashing with your shut eye. You open them to see your boyfriend leaning over you with a big smile on his face.

“Merry Christmas!” He practically sings the words at you.

“Hmmmnn.” You groan as you awaken. You run your eyes and offer him a groggy smile. “Merry Christmas!”

He grabbed your hands and hoisted you to your feet. After a kiss he practically dragged you to the tree. He sat down in front of it and brought you with him. You are still waking up so you simply let him rag doll you to wherever he wished to plunk you. How is he so happy? There’s still some obvious evidence that he’s tired, bags under his eyes and all that. Yet he’s so thrilled to pilfer through the collection of presents.

“You should open this one first.”

Jiraiya set a gift in your hands before you could complain. It’s easy to forget that sometimes he can be a big child. He’s got the enthusiasm of a little kid only when he’s truly excited about something. Christmas morning is one of those things. He rips into gifts like a child. But unlike a child he thanks you with every gift he gives you with a kiss. You do the same with each one he gives you.

He carries on his enthusiasm for the day by helping clean up the shreds of paper while you start on breakfast. You return to the living room holding a cup of coffee to start off. Only Jiraiya is now by the door. He’s wandering back inside, but he’s holding something. It’s an envelope and card which he’s reading over.

“Are you sure nothing happened at the party?” He asks.

“Nothing major. Why?”

“Kakashi sent a letter. It has an apology written out to you. Did something happen?”

You offer the mug and he takes it. But he’s studying your face, expecting an answer. You can’t lie to him. Especially when it comes to his friends. You smile.

“Kakashi just has your wellbeing in mind.” You explain. “He was wondering how our relationship is.”

You stand beside Jiraiya and peer over the letter that was written in the card. It was simple but to the point. Kakashi was sorry if he offended you with his question. He’s a good friend looking out for someone he cares about. He must care about you too. At least enough to apologize.

“I hope you told him it was good.” Jiraiya said.

“I did. I couldn’t be happier with you.”

He huffs a laugh and shrugs off his concern. Hopefully the weird drama doesn’t stick around as a tradition. You break away from his side to return to fixing up breakfast. He set the card up on the mantle before trotting into the kitchen to help you.

With the world’s healthiest breakfast of pancakes in hand, you and Jiraiya return to the couch to eat and drink in comfort.

The best part about Christmas is having the day off to relax in Pyjamas with the person you love. All the things that you couldn’t do with him now was rectified. With a big fluffy blanket to keep you cozied up to him, you watch reruns on the tv. You eat breakfast and indulge in some of the candies he got you.

It turned out to be the perfect first Christmas with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I never meant for Kakashi to be the official shit starter in my fics but alas here we are. He’s a good dude, just a little too straightforward and sus of people sometimes lol. A homie gotta make sure the bois are dating quality girls. 
> 
> A quick note! I don’t think I can write a chapter for boxing week and I’ll be skipping over right into New Years. The reason being is that I have fallen ill again. Unfortunately it can only be dealt with by pain killers and time. I’m quite tired all the time because of the sickness as well so it makes concentrating on writing harder. I love and appreciate all of y’alls support over these long months! How crazy that it’s almost 2021. Check back in around the end of this month! Merry Christmas my lovelies!


	65. New Years Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every village has their traditions for New Years. Konoha has a masquerade ball. This year is your first year going and it’s supposedly special. For a very special guest is coming this year too, the elusive Jiraiya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting a little early before I get too tipsy! Plus it’s so quiet due to gathering restrictions and I figured you lovelies need some entertainment. And something a little sexy since the last two weren’t all that sexy.

As with any village, there are certain traditions that are held every year. While most are fairly similar, it’s New Years that varies the most amongst the villages. Supposedly the desert folk of Suna still have the warmth of their climate and they spend it outside to watch the stars fade and the merge of the new year into the next. The Kumo that reside in their tall tall mountains are locked in by the snow most years. Yet they seem to enjoy the wild nature that the elevation brings and still find a way to party among the wind, snow, and lightning. Kiri they uh... well it’s complicated.

Alas like with most things, Konoha has what most consider the strangest tradition to welcome the new year. A ball. A masquerade ball. What’s so grand about it is the ambiguity. It’s a party for both citizens and ninja. The masks and somewhat out there costumes can lead to interesting interactions as no one can pick one person from another. Then when the next day arrives most go back to normal. People return to their lives and forget about the ball like it never happened. Or so you were told.

It’ll be your first time going. Get dressed up. Dance with a few handsome strangers. Get a little drunk. Have fun. That’s what your friend always says when she tried to convince you before. It just didn’t sound like the best time. Fancy parties are nothing like normal parties. Getting sloppy drunk is not exactly the vibe one goes for when they go to these kinds of things. It’s all about having an image. To be noble. Pretend to be something of status even if you have none. In a way it is a little backwards. Dressing up above your stature pretending to be something you aren’t. It’s almost like a fairytale.

This year is special for two reasons. One is that the theme for this year is animal. Each person attending has to have at least a mask that looks like an animal. The second reason is that there’s a rumour confirmed to be true that Lord Jiraiya is attending this year. That is special because he never is around in winter. He’s never participated in the festivities before. At least from what the public can recall that’s worth recalling. Rumour has it that Lady Tsunade is making him go. It’s her first year as Hokage and having him as a companion at least somewhat by her side says much about how much he supports her.

A surprising amount of people are excited to pick him out of the crowd. Your friend included. She’s been yammering on about it for the past week. Half the attendance think Jiraiya will put in minimal effort and his key features will easily shine through his poorly put together New Years outfit. It would be easy if he left his hair be and his mask revealed his bottom half of his face, where his very distinctive red markings can be seen. The rest think he’ll blend in too well. A shadow. Just another party goer dressed regal and acting rich. He won’t make a spectacle of himself.

“Are you ready?” Your friend burst through your bedroom door and asked.

“Yes. I’m ready.” You sigh.

Your friend is going as a representation of a doe. Light brown kimono with pops of red flowers that matched her obi and a mask that fit the theme. It was at least more cutesy than realistic. You are going as a white rabbit. Not really your choice. Your friend came up to you with the masks in hand and the biggest pleading eyes for you to join her this year.

It’s hard to say no to her. So here you are. Dressed in a snow white kimono with pale blue accents in the shapes of diamonds specking the fabric with an obi to match. Your mask is like most masks you’ll probably see tonight. It covers your face from the nose up. It’s carved to look like a rabbit including two white long ears that are perked up. It’s... cute at least.

“Great! Let’s get going!”

She pulled you by your arm out of your room, through the house, and to the outside. It’s already fairly late at night. At least three hours until midnight. She practically dragged you through the snow towards the area where the event is happening. Which was outside. It was a large party tent set up in the middle of the town square. It’s the only place big enough to host a big party. The ground has been shovelled and with so many people inside it’s warm enough. There’s glossy wooden mats laid down for a smooth temporary dance floor. The music is all live band in the form of a classy looking orchestra all dolled up like the cast of a whimsical animal themed children’s book.

“Do you really think he’s here?”

You snap out of the hazy of admiring the scenery to look at your friend.

“Who?”

“Lord Jiraiya! Who else would I be talking about?”

“Oh um... I don’t know. I thought you said he didn’t like stuff like this.”

“Yeah but everyone knows he’d do anything for Lady Tsunade. I bet he’s here... maybe by that group of ladies over there.”

“Maybe so.”

It’s not so bad so far. Everyone is mingling. The band is playing soft calm music. There’s drinks being taking around by servers in feline masks and formal suits. Your friend long broke off from you to seek out her target. She’s on the hunt for the mysterious Sannin. Maybe to surprise him. He will be surprised. To have his cover blown by a woman he’s met a handful of times for mission corespondents would be quite a shock to an elite who is known for his ability to ghost in crowds. Perhaps he’ll even be impressed with her ability to seek him out.

Do you really care? Not really. Lord Jiraiya is an eccentric person. He’s also quite handsy. If he does come tonight, he’ll probably be coping a feel of some poor girl he conned into dancing before the end of the second song. Or perhaps he’ll con a group of them into thinking he’s a wealthy powerful man and they stay by his side all night eager for his attention. You may not know him personally, but he just seemed the type.

The music quieted down. People began to quiet down. The crowd began to split for someone to walk through. You soon find yourself stumbling back as people step back to clear the dance floor. It’s only when the two people who had caused all of this had entered the clear space did you clue in. It’s Lady Hokage. In a rather revealing and beautiful dress that looked to be made out of flames. Her hair is down in loose curls, which is simple but suited to the whole style of her outfit. Her mask is hard to place animal wise. A fox perhaps? It is feline like but is more... fierce.

Her escort is eye catching as well. A tall man. A strong looking man. He’s mostly in grey. Which is odd. It’s different. Every other New Years outfit is colourful in some way. Yet this man was grey aside from a red obi that held his variety of soft greys together. His mask is a wolf. The face underneath was interesting too... at least the parts you could see. Other people have face paint or make up on, but how this man has it applied is simple but elegant. Two red lines down his cheeks that had mirrored lines that crossed over at the first third mark of his face over his cheeks. Then thinner by his jaw that taper off right before it would meet the lines that line down his face. To top it all off, he has white hair that is done up in a messy braided style that had what must be a considerable amount of hair all weaved together in a way that was somehow simple but intricate way that kept it all tamed in a crescent at the bottom of the back of his head.

This mysterious grey wolf is quite the dancer too. It’s tradition that the Hokage gets the first dance. She can’t exactly stay anonymous so it was decided long ago when this all first started that the Hokage is the only one that is easily identifiable. The wolf that is dancing with her is what most people are watching. He’s quite good on his feet. Lifting and spinning the leader in time to the song the band was playing. It’s all just very... elegant to watch. Like two beings that are a level above human in their poise and fairness. It would be nice to know what it would be like to dance with him. Would you feel like that if he picked you for a dance?

That probably won’t happen. Unlike both the wolf and fox that are twirling about with grace, you don’t got much of that. Who has the time or space to practice ballroom dancing? Your skills are rusty. Plus there are plenty of other women here who have more eye catching costumes than you.

When the first dance ended, you joined the crowd in applause before going back to find something to do. Standing around gawking at a man dressed up as a wolf isn’t exactly gonna pass the time. The best place to start is with a drink. As one of the waiters pass by, you snag a glass of sparkling wine off the tray he was carrying. Wandering around didn’t really lead to much. There’s not much to look at. The top of the tent is sparkly with lights and silver decorations in the shape of stars. Some of the decorations dangle around in clusters around the supports of the tent. There’s chairs by them at least. If all else fails you can wallflower until midnight. 

Looking again to the dance floor revealed that your friend is having fun. It may not be a legendary hero she’s dancing with, but she looks to be happy as she dances with a man dressed as a peacock. When that song ends a different man dressed as a stag asked to dance with her next. She laughed and accepted. She’s quite popular tonight.

“Do you know her?” A deep voice asked.

You turn to your left where the voice had come from. It’s the man dressed as the wolf. He’s standing beside you. It’s hard to pinpoint why, but your heart picked up a beat.

“Yeah she’s my friend... Am I allowed to say that?”

“Heh it’s a party, not a secret society. Relax.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Is this your first time attending?”

You nod. He smiles. It’s not cruel or mocking, just amused. Now that he’s close you can take in more details of his costume. There’s a pattern in his kimono that is only a smidge lighter in colour. The thread is in simple small lines that are only a few stitches long and curve in alternating turns. It’s almost like fur. The mask has similar details on it that follow the curvature of the mask with paint. And of course you can now see his eyes.

People often say that you can tell how a person is by their eyes alone. That whole window to the soul thing. This must be a shinobi. They’re more guarded in their eyes. Even so his are still gentle. Honest despite what his profession must be. Like most people’s eyes here they are coal black. The dark backdrop is picking up all the twinkling lights above in a way that makes it look like the night sky.

“Has anyone danced with you yet, white rabbit?” The wolf asks.

“Uh no, not yet.”

“We can’t have that. Here, allow me to show you.” He offers his hand out for you to take.

Is this really happening? You stare at his hand for a moment as you consider his offer. Or is he joking? An anonymous party could be a good opportunity to mess with someone and live with it since everyone is anonymous. To speak about it would out the prankster and the pranked.

“Come on, you can trust me.” The wolf insists. He winks and smirks as he dances his fingers around on his outstretched hand.

A rabbit trusting a wolf? That’s a tragedy waiting to happen. Whatever survival instincts you are supposed to have in the face of a predator has left. Perhaps this wolf is too charming to make you afraid. It’s those eyes. They sparkle with mischief and kindness. Enough kindness to assure that you are in good hands.

You take his hand. The wolf politely kissed your hand before escorting you go the dance floor. He’s got good timing. A slow song began to play. He clasped your hand firmly and his other hand wandered. To your side before going lower and curling around to rest on your lower back. In a quick motion he pulled you against his body.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” He asks.

“No. I don’t mind.”

“Really?” He chuckles. He leans his head in so it’s close to yours the materials of yours and his masks nearly scrape. His lips are close enough to feel the heat of his breath. It smells like the wine being served. “I think we’re going to get along just fine, little rabbit.”

The way he says that nickname sends flutters down your spine. Little rabbit. His low voice and smile is dangerous. This wolf is as tricky as he appears. You find yourself melting into his touch. He’s an excellent lead for dancing as well. Your rusty skills were pro under his guidance. Never before have you felt so light on your feet.

“Another, little rabbit?” The wolf asks when the song came to an end.

“Yes.” You instantly agree.

He nods and takes the lead as the next song starts. Same with the next. And the next. Times seems to blend together into a blur with him. It’s almost like a trance. It’s like he’s somehow ensnared you into a trap. A trap that you don’t want to escape from. Spending time with the man dressed as a wolf feels special. Somehow he feels more important than anyone else here. Even more important than the fox.

“You are a wonderful dancer.” He complimented.

“Thank you. I believe I’m only this good on my feet because of you.”

“How are you off your feet?”

Your mouth opens but a response doesn’t come out. That question fried your brain. It seems this wolf is hungry in a different way. You ain’t usually the type to hook up with a stranger, but this man somehow has you... fantasizing about that. Those lips sucking on your neck. The teeth beyond them sharp enough leave marks. Those hands of his somehow hot to your skin. They’ll graze your body along parts that haven’t been loved on in a long time. Your throat suddenly feels dry as you attempt to gulp.

“Where would people go to do that?” You ask.

“Heh heh. No where sanitary.”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“On New Years? I guess you can call it your resolution.”

“I guess I can.”

He stopped dancing and you follow. You stand still with him in the centre of the floor. Two people who are now out of place in the active area. You stare into those eyes. The identity of this man is something you don’t know. He could be dangerous. He probably is. Yet you know he won’t harm you. He raises his hand and gently caresses your cheek with the back of his fingers. They stopped and rested on your chin with his thumb pulling on your bottom lip. It summoned more butterflies that flew in a frenzy around your stomach. Instead of dryness a flood of saliva takes your mouth in expectation of a passionate kiss.

When he leans in, you tilt your head and shut your eyes. His lips are soft. That taste of wine is introduced again into your mouth. It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like it lasted for longer. As if time stopped for a moment. When it broke off it continued to tingle along your lips like you got a static shock.

“That’s a pretty good indicator if you ask me.” The wolf said with a small laugh.

“Of what?”

“How the rest of this will go if you’ll follow me.”

He didn’t take off right away. He held your hand like he had when he escorted you to the dance floor. He’s standing there looking at you as he awaits for your answer. He’s an interesting wolf. Polite at the very least. Is there such thing as a gentlemanly wolf? There’s at least one in the world. You nod. He nods as well and began to escort you again. He weaves through the crowd towards the flap in the tent that gave the illusion of a grand entrance.

The cold of winter met you again as you entered the street with him. Your date looks around before picking a direction and heading off. You follow him. He leads the way through the snow to a thin alleyway between two buildings. It’s dark in this outside hallway as the builds cast heavy shadows. He stops in the middle and faces you.

“Why’d you stop?” You ask.

“Is this good enough?”

“Wha-! Uh we’re gonna do this...” You point to the wood walls to your sides. “Here?”

The wolf grins and takes a step forward. He raises his hands and blocks you in against one of the walls. It’s cold against your back but your front seems to be lit with some kind of unseen fire. He gets really close to you again in a way that your heart began to beat faster. His eyes are different somehow. Still dark and sweet, but hold an eagerness that no man has ever looked at you before with.

“I’m staying across town and I don’t want to trot to wherever you live.” He explains. He pauses to kiss you. He broke it with a small nip to your bottom lip. “So long as you don’t squeal too much while I devour you, little rabbit, I’m ready to go right here.”

You swallow down the worry and embrace the situation. This does sound fun. Instead of replying with your words, you reply with action. You run your hands up his sides to his shoulders. He remains quiet as you feel him up, his eyes calmly looking you over. But his smile and excited breathing is giving away how much he’s anticipating your move. You pull on the hem of the folds to reveal more of his chest. He lets out a breath that was the mix of a sigh and a laugh. He shot forward and caught your lips in a kiss. This kiss was much more heated.

His hands are all over you as he steals the air from you with a kiss that’s getting messier by the second. Within moments your obi hits the snow and his hand is under your panties to touch you. You body reacts beyond any input from your brain. You whine. You clench for a moment from the sudden aggressive intrusion but relax as you adjust. It’s not long until he’s managed to get you too excited for words and your underwear join the ground. But he’s not being excluded.

It’s easy to feel around his body. His torso is hot to the touch. You follow the line down the centre of his body to his waist. He groans when you grope him through his pants. He’s already stiff and ready to go. You pull down the layers keeping his manhood trapped and pull it out to meet the cold air. It won’t be cold for long.

The wolf takes over completely. The smidge of space your back had was eliminated as he pushed your flush against the wall. He grabbed your leg and guided it to press against his hip.

“Ah-!” You could barely squeak before he shoved his tongue into your mouth.

You can only make muffled whines as he shoves his cock inside of you. It was sudden but matched the frenzy you feel around him. Your fingers dig into his shoulders for any grip. He’s ruthless in his approach. Your head and back is scraping against the siding of the wall. Your body is bouncing with his motions as he sets the pace. The pain of it is tickling your skin but the pleasure he’s providing is numbing it. You are at his mercy due to the restricted position he has you in. The best you can do is hold on for dear life as he gives it to you.

The kiss breaks just in time for a well needed gulp of air. It’s cold and stings your lungs. Your lips stay parted as you expect this wolf to devour them again. He does go back in, but your head is forced to tilt up and to the side as he nibbles on your neck. The cool material of his mask is pressed firmly against your jaw as he kisses and sucks bruises to your skin. A soft groan leaves him after a moment and the pace he’s so valiantly kept up slows.

He grabs your ass and you are tossed for a second as he adjusts you. It seems you had sunk down as he pounded you. He hoisted you back up to the original position as to not finish this in dirty snow. Your leg had turned to jelly as you had lost all focus on staying standing long ago. That is quite counter productive for the situation you find yourself in.

“How you feeling, little rabbit?” His voice cuts through your concentration.

His voice is different now. It’s breathless and husky. It suits his low deep tones. He pushes his hips up and grinds them against you. A whine leaves your throat as he burrows into places that send your body into a slew of stimulation.

“Good! I feel good, mister wolf!” You cry out the words in between hitching breaths.

“So do I.” He says. He exhales a laugh right against your ear. It sends shivers up your spine as his lips just barely graze your ear. “Especially when you call me things like that, bunny rabbit.”

With each variation of rabbit he calls you it makes you feel small in a way. Like you are a rabbit standing before a wolf. A predator much bigger, stronger, and possibly faster than you. Everything about him screams bad yet you don’t want to run away from the wolf. The element of danger is only heightening your thrills. Being around this wolf is too much fun to leave.

“You’re foolish for getting involved with a wolf. Aren’t you, bunny rabbit?”

“Y-Yes!”

He laughs again before nipping at your ear lobe. He’s having fun with the irony of the costumes as well. You wrap your arms around him and grip the back of his shirt. He’s moving faster again. He’s eager to get back to that frenzy you and him were at before. Having a much stronger grip on his back will do you better than before. You flex and anchor your leg with a death grip around his waist while your other is planted firmly on the ground. His hands are squeezing your ass then the back of your thighs as he picks the best place to hold you and guide you into his thrusts. He settled on ass, he prefers it.

“Are you ready for more, bunny rabbit?” The wolf asks.

“So much more, mister wolf.” You reply.

That charming smile of his returns. You can feel it against your ear and cheek. He places a few kisses on your cheek that made a trail to your lips. They were short and sweet kisses that are often the prelude to deeper, more passionate kisses. They did lead to that, but where often interrupted by panting as he picked up the pace.

Soon you are panting with him as he goes back to the fast hard pace he had set before. It’s the type of rough your body wants more of. Each thrust was hard enough to send tingles up your spine. His nails are digging into the tenderest parts of your bottom and his teeth grit. It changed the pitch and sound of his panting into something close to growls as he fights to keep his composure. You must be the tastiest rabbit he’s ever had.

The crowd not so far away began to get louder. For a moment you worry it’s because they are closer. But they aren’t. Something is getting them riled. What could possibly get them so excited as for even you to notice it through this? Just as you ponder your focus gets snapped back to the man fucking you as your body is suddenly incredibly sensitive. A cry tried to leave you but you inhaled and exhaled all at once and it choked out to a hitched hiccup.

“Oh rabbit!” The wolf gasps in the words. His tight jaw loosening just enough to call you by that name.

He shifts your leg upwards so it’s more akin to a caught kick. He holds it there which switched up the angle and squished you in a weirdly wonderful way. He’s getting close too. His other hand released your ass and slammed against the wall. He uses it for support as he is desperate to finish what he started before he completely falls apart.

That promise to stay quiet as to not draw the crown was completely abandoned. At the same time as him you cry out. The flood of familiar and much wanted relief had climbed higher than you ever felt before. Your head is turned to the sky as he has his curled against your neck. The sounds of yours and his passionate cries were drowned out by the frantic crowd in the party tent as they scream.

“Happy New Years!” The chorus wails in joy as the gong of a clock strikes midnight.

Your leg is dropped and you react as quick as you can to cling onto the wolf’s shoulders. His hands are planted firmly on the wall as he gasps for air. His head is bowed and some of his hair had come loose from his elegant hairdo. For some time you pant with him as the cold leeches in.

He slowly leans in by doing a vertical push up. He opts to rest the top of his head on the wall while he fixes his pants. His bits must have gotten too cold to be comfortable. You follow his lead as your bits are getting pretty cold too. Although it’s might uncomfortable to put on underwear that have been put in the snow, you deal.

“I could take them if you don’t want to wear them.” The wolf offers with a smile.

“Uh.. no thanks. I’ll keep them.”

Perv.

He chuckles before resting his hands on your hips. He kisses you again, this time much more softly. It’s the type of kiss where you must caress his cheeks. It felt a little awkward as your thumbs breach under his mask.

“Happy New Years.” He said. “I say we started off well.”

“We did, didn’t we?”

You finish getting dressed. The wolf stayed with you to keep watch in case anyone wandered over. He very nicely helped you tie up your obi to the lovely bow it was in before.

“Want to go back to the party?” He asks.

Hm.. do you want to go back? You are both stimulated and tired. If you run into your friend she’ll know exactly what you had done and won’t stop pestering you about it for the rest of the night. She’ll harass wolf too. Her mission to find Lord Jiraiya will be abandoned as she frets over you and the man you slept with.

Well you made it to midnight. It’s now the new year. You did much more than you thought you would tonight. That’s a pretty successful party outing. Shower and bed sounds much more appealing.

“No thanks. I think I’m gonna go home.”

“Okay.” He sounded... disappointed. He quickly hid it under another one of his contagious smiles and gave you another kiss. “Thanks for this. I had lots of fun.”

“Thank you, I had fun too.”

He nods before turning around and heading back out of the alley. You wait a moment before following his lead. You see the very back of him enter the tent again. You head down the street to home. You don’t dwell on what happened. You sorta just autopilot to the house, shower, then collapse into bed.

You wake up early by yourself. Your internal clock still scheduled for the morning despite it being a day off and well... all the stuff you did the night before. There’s some soreness in your body. Your legs and core are especially stiff. After a good long stretch you are awaken enough to start the day. You get out of bed and throw a robe on before leaving your room.

Your friend is home. Surprising as she tends to party and get invited to her partner’s home for the night. Maybe she didn’t get as lucky as you. She looks a little bummed. Her hair still has a few pins in from her hair style last night. The red lipstick that matched the red in her kimono was smeared over onto her cheek. She’s got her elbow propped on the table with her head propped up by her fist. She’s eating cereal with eyes half closed. She perks up when she sees you.

“Hey, I lost you last night. Where’d you go?” She asks.

“I uh met someone.” You say.

“Ooooooohhhhh.” A grin grows on her lips. “Damn okay. I see what happened. Is he here?”

“No we hooked up at the party.”

“Where the hell did you find a place to bang at the party?”

You roll your eyes and continue on to the kitchen to fix yourself up the same breakfast. Quite perfectly you use up both the last of the cereal and milk. You join her at the table and begin to eat. She’s looking at you with a smile. You scowl at her.

“Stop it! It’s not a big deal.” You complain.

“Sorry. It’s just not like you to be so adventurous.”

You roll your eyes. You switch the subject.

“How about you? Did you find Lord Jiraiya?” You ask.

She groans and frowns.

“No! I couldn’t find him anywhere. I must be a terrible ninja.”

“Don’t be dramatic, you’re good at your job. He must’ve just given you the slip.”

She nods before continuing to eat. She’s clearly down in the dumps about her average night. She still had a good time. She always does. She just didn’t get what she was after. And she obviously had one too many. Her complexion is a little green.

“Are stores open today?” You ask.

“Hm...” She pauses thoughtfully. “I think so. Why?”

“I used the rest of the milk. And we need something for dinner.”

“Okay. Are you going soon? Cuz I need like an hour if you want me to come along.”

“I’m good.” You say with a small laugh. “You stay here and relax, I’m only grabbing a few things.”

“Alright. Thanks, I’ll get the next trip.”

You finish your breakfast before getting up to get ready for your outing. Once dressed and with money in pocket you leave to get your short list of groceries. Since your friend isn’t feeling too good you decide to make one of her favourites to cheer her up. It is a shame she didn’t get with the man she likes so much. She was determined to find him and get closer to him. Wonder where he was all night? Maybe he slipped out as soon as he could to avoid conversations like that. You heard a rumour or two that Jiraiya isn’t too keen on having a reputation.

As expected on most holidays where people drink and stay up too late, the crowds the next day are not big. The store is fairly empty. Which made shopping easy. You began to pick up the things you need to get through the day and maybe the next. It all goes smoothly. Can shopping go wrong? Unless something crazy happens it’s a task not many can fail.

The last thing you need to complete your trip is the spice you need for supper tonight. Unfortunately it’s on the top shelf and you ain’t quite tall enough to get it flat footed. Even on tiptoes it’s difficult. Your fingertips are just dancing on it and you accidentally pushed it back further instead of getting it.

Just as you contemplate climbing the shelves, a rogue hand shot into your field of vision and snagged the container you need. You follow the hand to the man it is attached to.

“Oh. Lord Jiraiya.” You state in a calm surprise. It’s not worth the effort to get excited. It’s your friend that likes this man not you. But seeing him up close... you can see why she wanted to get closer to him.

“Hi. This is the one you wanted right?” Jiraiya asks as he holds the container out to you.

“Yes it is.”

“Here. I couldn’t help but notice you were struggling.”

You smile and thank him. You take the spice from him and place it in with your basket of shopping. So far he seems much nicer than his reputation paints him.

“Anything for a pretty lady!”

“It helps that you’re tall. You probably get asked to grab things a lot.”

“I do, but I don’t mind, miss...?”

You introduce yourself with hand outstretched. Instead of taking it for a handshake, Jiraiya grabbed it and turned it so he could place a kiss on your knuckles. He insists you call him with no formalities. He’s awfully cheery this morning. If he was so reluctant to go to the party, it would be easy to assume he wouldn’t be so positive the day after. Unless he got lucky or something.

“You’re up early.” You note. “I would have figured almost all of our village would be sleeping off the hangover.”

“Almost all.” Jiraiya agrees with you. He certainly thinks he’s the exception. “I didn’t stay that late at the party and,” he paused to tap his middle. “My liver can withstand more than a few bottles of wine!” He pauses again after laughing at his own joke. “What about you? Did you go to the party?”

“I did. But like you I didn’t drink much and went home early.”

Jiraiya nods in understanding. He joins you for the rest of your shopping. He had a few items as well. Things that gave the impression that he’s going to be staying for more than a few days. He stood with you in line and kept the nice conversation going. He is quite friendly. Not exactly a gentleman but he’s nice to talk to. Strangely it does feel like you have spoken to him before.

You waited for him to check out and he was keen to walk with you for a while. He likes your company. It’s hard to find a woman who enjoys talking to him. He’s enjoyable to talk to. He’s a man that is very wise and worldly, but didn’t carry himself like a sage. You find yourself absorbed in the conversation as this man fascinated you. Alas you probably shouldn’t get so absorbed in winter. A piece of ice under the snow caught you off guard.

It’s a good thing you are in the company of someone with fast reflexes. Or is it? Jiraiya reacted all right. As you fell back his arm managed to get behind your back and he pulled you to safety. If safety was pressed against his body. He caught your hand with his and it was an odd moment of familiarity as it was like a drunken attempt at a proper stance for dancing. It must just be because you went to the party last night. The wolf left a lingering mark on you.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Jiraiya apologized.

Your brain does a double take. That sounded... too similar. Your partner said something similar last night. You stare intently at Jiraiya. His eyes are searching yours, concern and confusion in his gaze as you are being rather intense. You are close enough to feel his breath. It doesn’t smell like wine anymore.

“Is something wrong?” He asks you with a worried frown.

Those eyes. The smile. This voice. Your hands travel up and rest on his shoulders. It feels the same when you gripped them last night. Jiraiya winces when you find the same spots you dug into. You must have left marks. He left a few of his own. Your ass is a little tender from his rough treatment of it last night.

“Have we... met before?” He asks. Looks like he’s caught on too.

Jiraiya is the wolf you spent your New Years with. He is the one that had you dance the night away and finish it in a way you never expected. You clung to his back and to every sultry thing he called you.

Your friend is going to flip.

She’s either going to hug you or feel betrayed. You didn’t mean to end up with Lord Jiraiya but here you are. There’s no doubt in your mind. This is beautiful stranger you banged at the New Years party.

A smile that is much more familiar grows on Jiraiya’s face. He’s looking you over again, much more slowly. You jump when his hand makes itself comfortable on your ass. A pinch of sore pain flares up when he squeezes.

“I remember you now.” He said with a chuckle. “Bunny rabbit.”

“You do, mister wolf?”

He laughs. You laugh with him. Once he quiets down he leans in. You relax and lean into it. Kissing Jiraiya when he’s Jiraiya is not so different. He’s much more tender when he’s himself. When he was in costume he was dominating. Maybe the guise of a wolf made him more aggressive. Normal Jiraiya ain’t so bad either. He’s much sweeter than the wolf.

“Wanna get a coffee?” He asks. “I’d like to get to know you.”

“That sounds good.”

Jiraiya released his hold on you and opts to place his arm around you instead of holding you. You walk with him to a coffee shop, get the beverages to go, and he takes you back to the inn he’s staying in for the holidays. It started with talking, then joking around. The chances of finding each other under the circumstances had become quite the joke between you and him. One thing led to another. Soon you were laying on the bed with him on top of you. His hand running down your leg while he kissed you breathless.

The second time was different but familiar. That’s a good way to sum up meeting Jiraiya today. You knew him but didn’t. You know what it feels like to have him, but it’s somehow a new experience when it’s Jiraiya and not the mysterious wolf. It’s different. But one thing is for certain.

It’s much better this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years buds! Let’s hope 2021 starts as good as this fic ended. I picked the animals I picked for Jiraiya and Tsunade because I didn’t want to be too bland. The point of the ball is to be something unexpected and different after all. It would be too easy if they went as their summons. And ya know... symbolism. And idk of I got all the village names right I used a map from google and the fan wiki. It was the best resources that I could read without horrible jpeg bit cronch. 
> 
> My health is better and I’d like to thank those who wished me well! As for the next chapter it might be on the sadder side as I wrote out something a while ago and I’m kinda feeling the sadder vibes. Also darker aus, my head recently brewed up a like... he’s a tyrant king and takes reader cuz he takes what he wants type of deal. The dark stuff isn’t really explored with Jiraiya and I’m kinda craving that. Idk I know I always say I’m gonna write something of a particular vibe and then like it takes 5ever. Thanks for your continued patience on that regard. Same with requests and sequels. I promise they are in my head it’s just a matter of writing it down without getting distracted by the like 100+ original ideas I want to explore. To end my rambling, I just want to thank you all again for being so supportive of my first ever work I published. This is far from the end as I do have lots of ideas and I may love this boy a little too much. Happy New Years!


	66. Thirty Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For thirty years you have been married. During those thirty years you suffered at the hands of your husband. When it finally went too far, your husband ran away and you were placed under the care and protection of a man you’ve loved for thirty years, Jiraiya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! Blood. Injury. Abuse. Bodily harm to reader. Reader is both mentally and physically abused in this one. Straight up spousal abuse. Very much hurt to comfort. 
> 
> I guess I wanna make y’all cry again then scream out heart emojis.

It’s been a half hour now. Jiraiya takes his eyes from the clock to bring them back to you. You hadn’t moved an inch. You’re still crouched down with your hands clenched just above your knees. You won’t look at him. You shake when he’s attempted to approach. He didn’t want to approach you while you’re petrified. That’s not how he wants you to see him. With fear and anxiety. But he’s starting to worry. With each tick of the clock so does a bead of your blood drop. Between your clenched fists was cuts and blood. Your palms and fingers are all torn up from glass. The shattered pieces of a cup are still around your feet.

Seeing you like this is hard. He swallows back the lump that had formed in his throat and he spoke.

“Do you remember what a klutz I was when I was a kid?”

You raise your head slowly. Your curtain of blonde hair fell back to reveal some of your face. You look at him. Your gaze is tired but it isn’t fearful. You are simply curious to his point.

“I scuffed my knees more than any rookie out there.” Jiraiya said with a chuckle.

It’s true. His head dives into a memory so strong he could feel it again. Running too fast for his own good only to trip on his own feet. His head getting confused on how to do a basic function that he mastered at a year old and it leads to a hard mouthful of dirt. That sting of pain and the cool pooling sensation of blood in his cuts. He used to just get up and walk it off. His teachers often freaked out as his chin, palms, and knees were all messed up. Then you walked into his life. The elder sister of Tsunade. A pretty older girl he kinda sorta totally fell for. One he knew was good at healing.

“I always went to you when I got hurt, you remember that?” He asks.

You nod. Yet you look more hurt by that then comforted. That was his opposite intention. You look so sad and he doesn’t really know why. He just wanted you to remember all that trust. That... love he wants you to feel for him. You must still feel this for him in some capacity. Why else did you agree to let him take care of you?

“Can’t I do that for you now? Let me take care of you.”

“Take care of me?” You ask in a mouse sized voice.

“Yes. Come on, babe. Let me treat your cuts.”

“But... the glass.”

“Don’t worry about it. I can get it later.”

“But... I broke it.” Your voice quivers.

“Accidents happen.” He assures you. He took a stride towards you. “I don’t think anyone will miss a cup.”

“Aren’t you mad at me?”

“No. I’ll never get mad at you.” He promises. He’s now a few centimetres away from you, separated by only the river of glass shards. “Come on. Let me get you fixed up.”

He held his hand out to you. You look down at it for a beat. Then another beat. Just as Jiraiya was sure you weren’t going to accept it, you reach out and grab it. His skin is met with wet and cold. He didn’t really mind the blood. He stood up, forcing you to come with him. Some coaxing was involved.

“Watch your feet. I don’t want you to cut them.”

“Sorry.”

“...” He looks at you with a sorrowful frown. It squeezes up his insides that your first response is to apologize. “It’s not your fault.”

You lower your gaze to the floor. You don’t like looking men in the eyes for too long. Even if those men are ones you love. Michi, your husband, doesn’t like it. Instead you watch the floor. With every step a drop of blood falls to the ground. It’s a strange pattern to watch. Sometimes it hits the floor. Other times your toes. By the time Jiraiya escorts you to the bathroom there’s an obvious trail on the floor that told a clear story. From the glass to the blood to the bathroom... You’ve made a mess. You should clean it... before he gets mad.

Jiraiya surprises you. His hands grab your hips and he lifts you like you’re a child. He sets you onto the countertop that made up the vanity. It was strange. Your body tingles and lingers on the sensation of his hands there. Even after they had left you still feel it. He crouches down to the lower cabinets in the vanity. A moment later he’s standing again with a first aid kit.

It’s strange isn’t it? To have Jiraiya treat your wounds. It’s usually the other way around. He’s fairly good at it. He rinses your wounds before grabbing the tweezers to pull out the glass shards. It doesn’t hurt that bad. He’s gentle. He holds your hand to keep it steady as he tweezed out the thin pieces that invaded your body with caution. Nice and slow as he pulls out the slivers. He doesn’t have to be so gentle. You are used to pain.

“A little tighter.” You offer some advice.

He glances up from his work on bandaging your wounds. He’s only part way done one hand. He’s completely frozen as he’s trying to understand your reasoning to your words.

“If it’s too loose it won’t stop the bleeding.” You explain. You offer him a smile. “Don’t worry about hurting me.”

Jiraiya doesn’t reply. Again he looks distressed at your words. He nods before bowing his head to return his focus on treating you. His grip does tighten.

It enrages him. It’s difficult to bite down the rising rage he feels. It’s like hot bile in his throat. How could he be so blind? He’s just so... angry. Not at you. Never at you. But that horrible excuse of a human that you are married to. Michi. Even thinking of that name made his stomach tie up in knots. Michi that piece of crap that hurts you. And that’s putting it lightly. For almost thirty years you’ve been stuck in this relationship.

With that fact comes a whole new wave of emotions. Most of them sad. Thirty years. That number weights heavy on Jiraiya. A whole weight that drug him down with a force that’s hard to describe. Why didn’t you just leave? Partners in arranged marriages are allowed to leave if one is getting hurt by the other. It nulls the marriage immediately. Why did you hold on? You could have been free the moment that nasty person laid a finger on you.

Another wave of sorrow hits him. Arranged marriage. Why did you agree to such a barbaric practice? It’s only allowed between consenting parties now, the intent usually for building stronger bonds between clans. In this case the Hyuga and Senju. The Senju haven’t been particularly close to the Hyuga until you married one. But why? Is Jiraiya that bad of an option? Did he blow his shot so badly? He’s loved you for years... he just didn’t know how to tell you.

“There. All better.” He announces with a forced smile. He finished tying off the bandage. He’s finished treating your wounds.

You turn your hands over, inspecting his work. It is good enough. Jiraiya’s style is a mix of professional and amateur. He’s got enough practice to know what to do, but lacked that certain organized clean execution of a medic. Not that you’re grading him or anything... you don’t wish to think too deeply on things.

“Come on, let’s go to the bedroom.” He said. His hands are out to help you brace against them to scoot off more easily.

“Okay.”

You use his help to get off of the counter. He escorts you to he bedroom. You plunk down onto the bed, not sure about what to do. What will he do? You stare up at Jiraiya, expecting him to make a move. Michi never asked. Michi took you even if you didn’t want it. You stare at the younger man in front of you, expecting him to order you to do things. Or shove you to the bed and simply do whatever he wishes. Instead he smiles at you. A reassuring smile. It drops a moment later as he looks over to the door.

You follow his gaze, wondering what he’s doing. A second later your heart jumps into your throat. Someone is banging their fist against the front door. Your first instinct is to curl up. Make yourself small. You tuck your legs up and bury your face into your knees. A gentle hand plays with your hair.

“I’ll be right back.” Jiraiya announced. “Just stay right here.”

You don’t react. You stay in that protective curl. He doesn’t say anything more, he moves on to the front door. By the pattern the are hitting the door in, it’s a good guy. An informant who has been tasked with updating Jiraiya on the manhunt. Like a coward he is, Michi ran away when his warrant for his arrest became common news around the village.

That bastard is at least smart enough to leave. Not that it’s any less cowardly. Practically every active member of Konoha’s military is out of their own free will looking for Michi. None of them accept that a person like that is apart of their family. The metaphoric family that is. Everyone is pissed that there’s an abuser among them. If any of them saw Michi that bastard would get exactly what he deserves. Jiraiya included. If he wasn’t assigned to protect you, he would be leading a team of people just as angry as he is to hunt Michi down like he was a S Class traitor.

After an exchange of passwords, Jiraiya opened the door. He was greeted with the cold gaze of a clay mask. It’s a little overkill to send an Anbu, but okay. It’s easy to understand why. Tsunade has been an inch away from throwing people out her office window ever since the news broke. She’s pissed to put it lightly. The only reason Jiraiya is taking care of you is because you requested it and Tsunade still likes him. Even then, if your sister catches even the slightest bit of wrongdoing on his part, he’ll be flying through the window.

“Report.” He demands.

“Suspect is still at large. He hasn’t been seen around this area.” The elite announced. By the voice, it was a woman. The long cloak and mask make it hard to make sure, but it made sense to send a woman since well.. you aren’t afraid of them as much as men. “Where is she?”

“In the bedroom.”

Something in the air shifted, as if the Anbu suspected him of doing something wrong. They stare at him. Or at least it felt like staring. It’s hard to tell with the mask.

“Why is she in the bedroom?” They ask coldly.

“She cut her hands and she’s shaken up about it. She’s resting after I treated her wounds.”

The Anbu pushed past him to the bedroom. They stuck their head in to see you. You are still in the same position with your head in your knees all curled up. Your bandaged hands are in view. That seemed to satisfy them and prove Jiraiya truthful.

“Expect another update in an hour.” They said before leaving.

Short and sweet. At least those fancy elites are to the point. Jiraiya triple checks the lock and pulls on the door to make sure it’s secure. While most ninja can break a door down, the long thick deadbolts and screws securing the door to the wall will at least slow them down. If Michi did try to come for you, there would probably be enough time to at least place you somewhere more secure.

Satisfied that the door will hold, he returns to your side. His eyes follow the trail of blood that’s now drying. It leads to the bathroom, not the bedroom but still. Perhaps he should clean it. Leaving any kind of trail is never a good idea. Sigh. A problem for later. Right now you could use some reassurance.

“Hey honey.” He greets you quietly. He crouched down to your level and places his hands over yours. “It was just an informant updating me on the situation.”

You peek out from behind your knees to look at him. You ask what said update was.

“It’s not the best. He’s still at large, but no where near here.”

Does that comfort you? It’s hard to say. Michi... means something to you. You don’t want to see him arrested. You don’t want to be alone anymore. Even if it’s with him. Something catches the corner of your sight headed towards you. You flinch on reflex. Jiraiya retracts his hand. You look at him, expecting him to move suddenly. Maybe to yell at you for fearing him. Or he’s going to send his hand flying up to slap you across the face for being so timid.

“I’ll leave you alone for now.” He says as he stands. He craves to be near you, but not when you flinch away from him.

“No.” You state. You grab his hand to keep him still. “I... I don’t want to be alone... Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay. I can stay if that’s what you want.”

You nod. That would be nice. Indulge a little. You’ll be alone soon. Why not have the man you’ve always wanted so close for a while? Michi isn’t here. But Jiraiya is. You want someone close to you, both physically and emotionally. You pull on his wrist to coax him closer. You scoot back. He can do what he wishes to you now.

“I want you close...” You mutter.

It’s hard to deny you. Cleaning can wait. So can being on guard. You need him. Jiraiya crawls into bed. It lacks a personal touch... if that makes sense. It doesn’t smell like you or him. It smells like dust and linen. It’s just another subtle reminder that this is a home not to get too snuggly in. He’s supposed to be your bodyguard, but he’ll always be your friend first.

This bed is cozy and personal with you. You snuggle up to him the moment he’s laying down. It’s actually pretty nice. Your face is nuzzled into his chest. Your injured hands are holding onto his shirt and bunching in in a way that has the fabric pillowing your face. Your legs get intertwined with his in a way that he’s always wanted to experience with you. It’s close. It’s tender. Holding you so close fills him with a warmth no other thing in this world can provide. It feels right. It feels like he’s been doing this with you his whole life.

“Why did you agree to an arranged marriage?” Jiraiya asks quietly. He can’t help but feel betrayed by your choice. He gave up when you got married since he figured you were happy. You found a man you love, it just wasn’t him. But it was all a lie and that hurt more.

“Because I was lonely.” You admit. You raise your head a little to peek at him. You still had the fabric of his shirt gathered around your face. “The man I love... loves someone else and I didn’t want to be alone my whole life. So I figured I should at least do something to improve my family and our status.”

“How could a man not love you back? Did you tell him?”

“No... because I...” You trail off for a moment. Then you sigh and try again. “I didn’t want to do that to my sister. I know she feels the same for this man and if I said anything, she would step back.” You sigh again. “What does it matter anyways? No other man will love me.”

It really hurts to hear you talk like that. His curiosity bypasses on who you could mean and focused on why you speak so lowly of yourself. You are perfect.

“That’s not true. Why would you ever say that?”

“I’m just so... useless. Michi is the only one who will love someone like me.”

“Is that what he tells you?”

“It’s true isn’t it? How could anyone love someone like me? I’m weak... pathetic. I can’t do anything right.”

“You know that’s not true.” He sighs as he holds you tighter. It tears up his insides to hear you think so little of yourself. Michi has poisoned you. No one should be torn down so low by someone else. “You are none of those things.”

“I can’t even grab a glass of water. I broke it. That’s all I ever do. I ruin things.”

“It was an accident. You didn’t do it on purpose.”

“I never do what I mean to on purpose. No matter how hard you hit me the lesson won’t sink in.”

“I won’t hit you. No good person hits another to fix their problems.”

That’s so.... confusing. Why is it confusing? Isn’t that what people in love do? Hit. Yell. Tell you what to do. You remain quiet as Jiraiya tightens his grip on you. He’s upset. His breathing is quick and uneven. His hand raises from your back to hold the back of your head in a firm grip. It doesn’t hurt. It’s secure.

Then again it’s all a ruse isn’t it? Michi did that. He made you feel safe. Any moment now, when you completely relax, Jiraiya will grab you by your hair and rip your head back. He’ll throw you around a little. Maybe climb on top of you to pin you down and choke you out, just to the point of blacking out not to death. Then he’ll laugh as you gasp and cough for air. Perhaps you belong to him now. He has the right to do anything to you.

It wouldn’t be so bad if it was Jiraiya. Right? You do still love him after all this time. Would it feel differently if he was the one that loved you. No matter how he made you bleed or hurt. It would be better. That’s just what happens. Michi is the only man you’ve been with. All the permanent damage done to you is simply an expression of love. Yet somehow you know... you’d like it more if it was Jiraiya. Because you love him and the pain wouldn’t matter that much.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jiraiya asks another hard question. “Everyone would’ve done... everything they’re doing now the moment you said something.”

“I.... don’t understand.” You utter quietly. You really don’t. “Didn’t I tell you already?... That’s what love is.”

Your words weight like a lead balloon inside of him. It expands as his guilt grows. It’s heavy and unending. You are damaged. Warped. Forever changed by the poisonous relationship you endured for so many years. Do you really think this is all normal?

Then again people ignored your signs for help until it was almost too late. You hid your pain so well. You never should have.

It’s hard to keep the emotion choked down. Jiraiya swallows down a flood in his mouth. It came from a wave of nausea. How could he let this all happen to you? He should’ve confessed when you announced your engagement. He should’ve confessed the moment he knew. You would be... his. He wants that still. It just... hurts. Like a thousand hot blades jabbing at his body. Images of a happy life with you keeps flashing in his head if he had simply said three words to you thirty years ago. All of this pain. All of these horrible thoughts in your head wouldn’t be there. He’d like to think you would be happy with him. He’d do anything to make you happy. Hold you. Make you laugh. Kiss every inch of you until you smiled. He’s treat you better than he’d treat himself. What a fool he’s been. A coward for hesitating when he should’ve spoke.

“It wasn’t all the time, you know.” You say.

You adjust your head so that your cheek was rested on his chest. Unfortunately you can’t hear too well out of this ear. After a particularly bad hit to the head ten years ago you lost most of your hearing on your left side. Simply another reason you are so weak and stupid. Michi wouldn’t have slammed your head into the table if you had just made dinner right.

It’s not so noticeable now. You adjusted to your position at work as a medical examiner rather than a doctor. You can’t work on the living if you can’t hear alarms, nurses or patients at all times. Yet you want to be comforted by the steady beat of Jiraiya’s heart. If only you could hear out of that ear. If only one more time to listen and focus on a rhythm that is made for comfort. It’s a sound you often listened to in your youth. Once he grew taller than you, it became easier to rest in his embrace.

“What do you mean?” Jiraiya inquires.

He’s playing with your hair now. He must have read the report on your injuries. His fingers are avoiding the sores and bumps you have on your scalp. He’s simply scratching and smoothing out sections of your hair. It feels good. Yet your body is still expecting a yank at any moment.

“Once I found out that I was worthless as a woman... is when Michi really showed me how love is.” You explain.

“You aren’t worthless. Why-?” Jiraiya pauses as his voice catches on a high note when starting his next question. He’s somewhat afraid to ask. The answer will be as heartbreaking as everything else you have admitted. “Why do you think that?”

For some reason you smile. It is funny. In a way. The point of an arranged marriage is for union and strength between two powerful families. It’s also to have children with amazing extraordinary talents. It’s awfully ironic how fate likes to play her hand.

“I’m infertile, Jiraiya. I can’t have children.” It’s always hard to admit in words. You can’t do the one thing you were supposed to do. It’s like the universe wanted you to live this life. “I have no use. Michi was... upset. But he still wanted to stay married. I could still be useful to him in other ways a-and I kn-knew!” Your voice began to crack. The hot wash of tears fall down your cheeks. “I do-don’t want to be alone! He loves me no matter how much I-I mess up!”

Jiraiya immediately began to comfort you. Hearing you cry is twisting him up in knots. It’s agony. He’s managing to hide his writhing by converting it into rocking you and hushing you. Hearing you cry because you are trying so hard to excuse all the abuse you endured is a torture he never expected to experience. It’s worse than anything physical someone could inflict on him. The woman he loves shouldn’t ever be sobbing in his arms because she’s hurt. Especially for reasons that never should have impacted how you should be treated as a woman. Michi is a real piece of work. It feels dirty to have even spoke to this man like he’s an equal.

“You won’t ever be alone.” Jiraiya promises with a desperation as if it were a dying wish. He clutches you tightly as you whine and wail in his arms. “Not when you have me. I’ll never let anyone make you feel like this ever again.”

“W-Why?”

Now you’re asking the hard question. There is no more getting around it. Jiraiya didn’t want to get around it. He didn’t want to lie about how he feels anymore. It led to this. It led to you in critical condition for hours in a hospital bed. You almost died because of Michi’s abuse. You were beaten and bleeding so badly but you never said anything for days. He sat with you while your body was destroyed from the inside out but the most you let on was a tired excuse of having had been working too hard. He’s lucky he’s even holding you now. If Tsunade wasn’t here to head your surgery you would’ve died from your extreme amount internal bleeding. If he had just spoken up sooner there would be no need for years worth of agony and life threatening situations.

“Because I... I love you.” The words that have been kept inside for so long came out so quickly. It was easy. He pressed his face into your hair and he couldn’t stop saying it. “I love you so much! I love you more than anything!”

The air felt like a vacuum. It was all stolen away from you. Hearing Jiraiya say those words shocked you. He loves you? The confusion set in after the shock. It doesn’t seem real. But how he said it was so raw with emotion. He’s continuing to say it while holding you like you would evaporate into thin air if he let you go. All of it is sad in tone but so intense with something you hadn’t heard in years. A genuine care.

But why? He confessed to you so long ago that he was in love with Tsunade. Once you heard that and saw how she clearly felt the same you agreed to the marriage proposal from the Hyuga. You silently stood by for so many things for so many years. Watching the two people you love most pine for one another. It wasn’t your place to be involved. You silently stood beside Michi as his wife. A wife that couldn’t do anything right. But you are so afraid of not being loved. Of being alone because you are so weak and flawed. Michi loves you despite all you do wrong. Hitting you is simply how he explains what you do wrong. That just what love is. It’s painful. It’s... anguish but it’s all you want.

“I love you too.” The words you say are quiet. It’s suddenly hard to speak above a whisper.

A painful squeeze clutches at Jiraiya’s heart. It was validation and horror. Validation because all he wanted was within reach. Horror because of all of the things your confession brought out. The fact your sacrifice led to this awful life of yours. You are a wonderful big sister. You knew he loved Tsunade in his younger years. He really did. He was so convinced she was going to be his wife and love him back. You must have held in so much pain when he looked you in the eyes as a silly boy and told you how he felt. You value Tsunade’s happiness so much you picked a political marriage because as the eldest you were expected to marry and social climb if you weren’t in love. All this damage... because of how blind he was to the truth. He was an idiot for thinking he loves his friend more than that. It was always you.

“I’m afraid.” You speak again in that same little voice.

“What of?” He asks. “I won’t ever let Michi lay a finger on you.”

“No. Not of Michi.” You push yourself up just enough to be closer. Just high enough to have your face closer to his. “Of something else.” 

“... Of me?”

Oh Jiraiya. He sounds so petrified. Are you afraid of him? He’s never laid a harmful hand on you. He’s amazing. Kind and thoughtful. The sweetest man to ever be in your life. Even when you feared speaking to other men, Jiraiya never allowed you to drift away. You endured a few extra slaps and screaming fits because Michi never liked Jiraiya being around you. But you never cared. Jiraiya was the one man you couldn’t let go.

But what if love isn’t what Jiraiya said it was. No good person hits another. That’s what he said. What if he’s not good? Or you ever do anything to anger him? That glimmer of hope for discovering a love you always wanted to live... but what if it’s the same?

“I’m not scared of you.” You assure him. “I’m afraid... to start again.”

He sighs. For the first time in a long time, he releases his iron grip on you. You are gently rolled away just far enough so Jiraiya can properly look you in the eyes. His hands cradle your head on either side to keep you held in place to look into his dark gentle eyes.

“I’m scared too. I never acted on my love before.” He admits. He takes a moment to smile and tenderly wipe away a tear on your cheek. “But I know how to treat a wonderful woman like you. I know it’s scary to trust me like that, especially after what you have gone through. But I promise to the depths of my heart that I will treasure you and we’ll do this together.”

“Do what?”

He chuckles. He leans in. That small bit of distance was closed. For the first time ever the man you’ve always wanted to kiss you is doing so at this very moment. It’s better than anything you thought it would be. It’s not too much. It’s soft and warm. A little wet. It stays long enough to make it a memory you can’t ever forget. Then it breaks. It leaves you hazy yet eager to feel it again. It lingers around on your lips like peppermint oil but the tingle doesn’t sting. It’s warm and welcoming. No kiss has ever felt like that before. Not for you.

“Learn how love works.” Jiraiya answers. “I’m not an expert but I know Michi had it all wrong.”

“Okay.” You sigh out the word with a small laugh. You wrap your arms around him and rest your head on his shoulder. “That sounds good.”

For some time you and him enjoy the quiet of being in each other’s company. The simplicity of being held so lovingly was enough to doze. Yet not completely fall asleep. Not soon after being held and cozy for that time, someone entered the safe house. It was too comfortable to want Jiraiya to leave. It felt odd when he let you go and slipped out of bed to go see who had entered. It had to either be a break in or the one person who had the key and means to come in without setting off any alarms. He doesn’t leave without placing a kiss on your forehead.

Jiraiya regretfully walks away from you to go see what was happening. He’d much rather stay snuggled up under the covers with you than do his job. Alas he didn’t wish to risk your safety. It won’t ever be risked again, not with him around. He makes it to the frame of the door that connects the bedroom to the living room and nearly crashed into someone.

“Oh! Tsunade. I didn’t see ya there.” He greets casually.

Tsunade scowls at him. Her expression firm with a motherly disapproval he’s known since he was a child. He expected her to be cross about something, exactly what was a mystery. She pulled her arm back and gave him a good whack.

“Wha-! Ow!” Jiraiya loudly expressed his displeasure. He held the part of his arm she struck with such force to make it sting. “What the hell was that for?”

“Why the fuck are you in bed with my sister?! Hasn’t she gone through enough?” She yells at him. “She doesn’t need you to be hounding on her! I thought I could trust you with this!”

She harshly jabs at his chest with her fingertips as she berates him. It has enough source to have him stumble back. He continues to object as she pokes him harshly with words and her unnatural strength.

“Hey! Ow! Tsunade just hold on a sec! It’s not what it looks like! She wanted me to be close!”

“Not that close! You’re all...” She gestures to all of him. “Bed wrinkly! And your shirt is showing off too much.”

You raise your head from the pillow to watch them. Your sister worries too much. She’s losing it over nothing. Poor Jiraiya looks overwhelmed at trying to explain himself. You get up slowly and make your way over to them.

“Tsunade.” You speak up.

They both stop and look at you. Both of them a little owlish. With wide eyes that are expressing different things. Jiraiya with a variety of panic and desperation. Tsunade with a fading anger and worry.

“It’s okay. I wanted him to be that close.” You vouch for him. To really show how much you trust him, you wrap your arms around Jiraiya’s arm and rest your head against his shoulder.

Your action had flustered them. A bashful grin and blush from your loving caretaker. A flush of embarrassment and realization from your sister. It falls quiet as Tsunade takes a few long seconds to process. Her eyes looking at you and Jiraiya with careful consideration. Jiraiya is much better for you than Michi, but good enough is a different matter all together. She simply sighs before revealing why she had come.

“Michi has been apprehended. He’s being transported to prison right now. I wanted to tell you personally.”

For a moment you do feel sad. Someone who has been apart of most of your life was going to a terrible place. Maybe you do have some kind of feelings towards Michi. But it’s not right what he did, is it? It can’t be if he’s being jailed for all he’s done to you.

That sadness fades into a calm relief. You don’t want to cry. You don’t want to buckle your knees and collapse. It’s a gentle wave over you. You shut your eyes and focus on breathing. The air feels fresh. A pair of arms embrace you and you are pulled against the body of the man you’ve always loved. You raise your hands, they feel heavy but light. You return the hug. It feels like a long chapter in your life had closed.

The next chapter that came was... good. Better. The Hyuga had agreed to the annulment. Their elder council who had handpicked Michi for you personally apologized to you and officially denounced Michi as apart of their clan. He ended up getting thirty years for his crimes. You were even offered compensation for all the pain and damages your body and mind had gone through. But what good will their money do? You don’t need it. You kept the home you once shared with your ex husband. It can be refurbished for new memories.

Jiraiya was around all the time now. He helps you. He makes you happy. All the pain in the world seems to just fade away when he’s with you. Your cuts have healed. Your fractures are mended. Your skin slowly returns to being a single shade as the bruises don’t get reformed. He kisses you when you make a mistake. He helps you fix it. There’s never a shred of anger in him that he directs to you. He holds you whenever he can. Quite quickly he makes himself comfortable in your home as if he always belonged.

Discovering how love is supposed to go was a journey. It was mostly good. Jiraiya was good at it. He’s learning as he goes. So are you. There are certain things that linger with you. Like hitting his hand on a table when he laughs too hard startles you. You flinch sometimes when he moves a certain way towards you. You freeze up around conflict. It’s not about him, that he knows well. It’s the scars you have from the past. He’s learning to be more careful as to not trigger you.

You’ve learned what love is supposed to be like. Or at least what it’s supposed to be like when with Jiraiya. It’s very different to anything you’ve done before. The best part is you never feel guilt or pressure to do these things. You want to do them.

Jiraiya likes... intimacy. Intimacy of all kinds. He’s not as sexual as he mostly parades himself to be. It’s more tender than that. Plus he’s told you a thousand times that he wasn’t interested in sex until you were completely comfortable with him. Words like that are unfamiliar but very assuring. So for now it’s the little things you’ve been taking part in and learning about. He likes putting his arm around you while sitting beside you. Or he’ll hold your hand but he usually likes that more when walking with you. He likes it when you rest your head against his shoulder or on his lap while he writes. He loves to get cuddly more than anything.

Most of the afternoons and nights are occupied with some long dozy hours of cuddling. With each minute felt in a good way. Most of the time Jiraiya has you as his little spoon. He likes curling around you and resting his head either behind yours or with his cheek smooshed against the crown of your head. His hands will wander but never go too far. They like to stroke and pay attention to all the skin that hasn’t been caressed correctly in years. It’s quite nice.

The more interesting thing you learned is when Jiraiya wanted to be cuddled. It’s rare. It’s something you never did with your ex. But when he meets you in the bedroom and simply crawls up to lay on top of you it’s a clear sign that his day wasn’t the best. It isn’t painful to have him laying on you. He’ll sneak his arms under you to hold you around mid back. His torso will rest along yours. His head will rest on your chest or shoulder. From the waist down he likes it better when your feet run along his legs or tangle with his. He won’t talk much. He’d much rather relax in relative quiet with you playing with his hair, which is something that he very much enjoys. He snores. It’s quiet, but it’s cute. When he does that you learned it’s because he’s comfortable and he’s been successfully consoled on whatever had him down.

Kissing wasn’t so different. It’s another intimate activity Jiraiya enjoys doing with you. He’s much more gentle and engaging than your ex. It gets heated quick most times. Those cuddle sessions are a good position to start kissing. Which turns into making out. His hands will be less feather like in their touch. He likes to grab your hips or ass. He’s gotten bolder with fondling more of you as time went on. It was always with a question if he could. After five months, you’ve become comfortable with him reaching under your shirt and pants to grab and massage. You’ve touched and grabbed things on him too. His chest, abdomen, and butt are all quite nice to squeeze.

As for Tsunade in all of this? She was quite relieved. She was happy for you and Jiraiya. You deserve the best. Jiraiya has been alone for too long. You and him are a good match in her opinion. Yes she did have feelings for him at one point in her life. When he tearfully admitted to her when you were hospitalized how he felt about you, she knew right then that she didn’t really feel the same about him. It’s just nice seeing the two people she loves the most happy. She does what she can to support or help if ever needed, but mostly she just enjoys spending some time with her family.

The current day marks the seven month anniversary of the day Jiraiya told you he loved you. He’s acting kinda weird. He’s nervous about something. Since you don’t really enjoy being around loud things, he’s taking you to an interesting location for a date. The top of one of the many buildings in Konoha. It was a taller building that looked over most of the village. It was perfect in its own way. Private but not isolated. Watching the people go about their peaceful lives is soothing. With a bottle of sake and a simple packed lunch, it was another great date.

“I uh want to give you something.” Jiraiya spoke after a while of quiet contentment of simply being beside you. He promised himself he wouldn’t get anxious about this... but he is. He pulls out a small box.

“Jiraiya...” You call his name softly as he hands it to you.

Is he really doing this? He offers you a smile. It’s nervous but the anticipation in his eyes leads you to believe he’s excited but worried about what you’ll say. You look back down to the box. It is the right size for a ring.

You open it to find out it’s contents.

Inside was... a hearing aid. One that looked fitted for your left ear.

“You mentioned that you wished you could hear out of both ears again.” Jiraiya spoke when you didn’t say anything for a while. A part of him is so worried he just overstepped and that this was a terrible gift to give you. “So I asked Tsunade to help me get you one.”

Tears well in your eyes. They break and roll down your cheeks. This gift is just...

“Er... do you like it?” Your boyfriend is getting increasingly worried at your reaction.

“I love it.” You finally reply. You turn to face him only to be met with his face very close to yours. He must have leaned in to really watch your reaction. A chuckle comes out of you before you give him a kiss. “This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Jiraiya said with a breath of relief. He reached into the box to grab the delicate piece of technology. “Let’s try it out.”

You help him, placing your hand over his to help guide him as he places the aid into your ear. He leaves it to you to turn it on. The pin prick sized switch was easy to press. You jump as sounds that have been stolen from your left side suddenly return. Bird chirps. The wind. The distant chatter of the crowd below.

“How is it?”

You snap your attention back to Jiraiya. His voice is somehow different. Deeper. Richer. Sexier in surround sound. You feel like a twenty year old again as you sit beside your crush in a romantic location just to talk. That was the last time you heard his voice like that.

“Wonderful.” You reply. You lean in to kiss him again. “How can I ever repay you?”

“Well,” he pauses as he smirks. He pulls your legs over his lap and keeps ahold of your thigh. “I’m willing to accept unconditional affection in the form of kisses back at our place.”

“What about more than kisses?” You ask him.

“Messing around is good too. You know how much I love doing that with you.”

“And more than that?”

He pauses again. His smirk faded as he stares at you. You know what he’s doing. He’s looking for any shred of doubt. He always does this when you ask for more. It’s just to make absolutely sure.

“You don’t owe me anything. I didn’t get you a gift for that.”

“I know, Jiraiya. I’m just telling you that I’m ready.” You explain. You reach your hand up and curl a section of his long side fringe around your finger. “I want to know what that kind of love is like with you.”

“... Okay. That sounds good.”

The smile on his face is different. It’s soft and warm. It’s that type of smile that you can’t help but return it with the same amount of tenderness. He grabs your hand and pulls you to your feet. He doesn’t release your hand as he leads the way back home.

The kind of love Jiraiya showed you once in bed was... indescribable. It never hurt. It felt so good. A few times he did it so good it had you ponder if you had died and gone to heaven. He was sweet. He was considerate. He kept asking you how it felt. There’s only so many ways you can tell him how amazing he makes you feel. He made you feel valued. Not just as his girlfriend or as a person, but as a woman as well. Unlike the man that came before, Jiraiya didn’t care about every little thing wrong with you. He kissed your old scars and tells you how perfect you are.

“I love you.” He utters with a smile.

“I love you too.” You reply.

It means a lot more now. To look someone in the eyes and say that with the upmost confidence is healing. It’s bonding. As if every time you say it you meld a little bit more with him. Half his face is obscured by the pillow. The grin he has on is adorable. His eyes seem to be sparkling as he looks at you. His hand is running up and down your arm. It’s gentle. It never has the intention to harm. You do something you never felt comfortable doing before with a man. You reach out and touch. You caress his face and watch his reaction. It’s a lovely reaction.

You can feel ever shift in Jiraiya’s face. The corner of his lip pulling back his cheek as his smile grows. The very tips of his bottom lashes fluttering against your thumb. Some of his hair resting on your fingertips. The warmth that flooded into his face. It’s cute. He’s so wonderfully cute.

His hand moves to your back and he pushes you closer. Your belly touches his. He holds you in a long kiss that spoke freely of how he feels about you. Yet another difference you can get used to. It’s better like this. Being held and loved. Being smiled at like you are what makes his world go round.

“What do we do now?” You ask.

“Whatever you want to do.”

“...” You pause as you consider those words. You put your arms around him and rest your head a fraction away from his. “Let’s stay like this for a while.”

“Sounds good.”

For a while you and Jiraiya did stay. Neither you or him fell asleep even though it was peaceful enough to drift off. It was calming. Laying beside him and looking into his eyes is good enough to pass time. Each time you look at him, you know one thing is always for certain.

You are loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason every idea I have for reader being related to Tsunade is all sad af. It just seems kinda natural for a narrative. Or maybe I’m just mean lol.


	67. Fire and Oil Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been almost three years since Jiraiya had confessed to you and started a wonderful relationship with you. In that time, his life has changed dramatically. He ran away with you, he married you, and now... you had his child. Only it went as bad as it could have gone, and it forced his family to return to Konoha. Without a doubt he has to face Hiruzen. The terms he left on with his teacher was far from good...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for a somewhat vague, yet detailed description of a bloody childbirth. This one is a lil dramatic in the beginning. 
> 
> Bruh it’s dramatic all the way. 
> 
> Takes place during that month before the final part of the chunnin exams. It follows most of the canon, but with some more hectic elements, cuz ya kno... family drama and little babies tend to do that. 
> 
> Recently updated phone and it put my auto correct and shortcut predictions on crack, sorry if there’s any blatant mistakes. I did my best in editing but I tend to miss some. My German keyboard came back with a vengeance with its bullshit in trying to correct my English even tho the German keyboard wasn’t toggled.

Jiraiya’s sole focus was on the miraculous little thing in his arms. He smiles as his rather small son wiggles. It’s the first time he got to hold Hiro. It’s nice being able to see him up close. He has all the Sarutobi traits. This kid is all you. Of what glimpses of are possible, Jiraiya did see that his son has black eyes. They don’t open for more than a few seconds before shutting again. Despite being so young, Hiro has a lot of hair. It’s short and softer than silk. It’s the same colour as your hair. It’s hard to believe he’s here.

The newborn is premature after all, he’s got a few health issues. Scary ones that threaten the little guy’s rate of survival. He’s too tiny and thin to keep himself warm so he’s currently wrapped up in a few layers while out of the incubator. Apparently his intestines have some kind of problem. It’s common among premies but it’s no less scary. The saddest thing is seeing the baby version of breathing tubes stuck in the wee little boy’s nose to assist with the simple task. The poor thing can’t get enough oxygen by himself. Unfortunately it means the long emotionally gruelling process of Jiraiya’s family stuck in the hospital for some time.

You aren’t in good health either. How can you be? You gave birth two months early. In the middle of a field. With the only one assisting you being Jiraiya. It was a stressful process that was made even more stressful when anbu decided to drop in. He was practically feral at that point, ready to strike down any black ops that tried to interfere. Same team or not, he wasn’t sure. You and him have been gone for so long it wouldn’t be crazy to think Hiruzen named him a traitor. So many thoughts of what they would do spiked his stress higher than her thought it could ever go.

But it two things quickly became clear. They are there to help and he’s not equipped to deal with assisting in childbirth. You said something that comforted him. When one of the anbu rested a hand on yours, you stared at them for some time before smiling and uttering a very soft greeting to your brother. With the assurance that he’s in the company of those who only wish to help, he took a less direct role and comforted you. But higher cruel benevolent power decided to make this a horrific experience. One bad piece of information after another about this birthing process slowly lead to the very real reality that if the baby were to survive, you had to be cut open.

You, as tough and determined as you are, agreed. You steeled your heart and told your sibling to do it as slowly as they needed to ensure the baby doesn’t get hurt. It was... awful. Jiraiya didn’t really have a choice but to watch. He cradled your head to bury against his chest and he held you there to keep you from watching. You wails and howls of pain felt like ice was coursing through his body rather than blood. Your fingers bore wounds into his back but he didn’t care. It was a sick gore show to witness as your flesh was cut open and layers peeled back to reveal a not so animated baby inside of you. The breached position and complicated placement of the cord around the child had taken a toll on the little guy. It took longer to actually... birth him. Blood was everywhere. You. The baby. The ground. Jiraiya.

Even now as Jiraiya holds Hiro there’s old caked blood on his arms, torso, and thighs. He had to wash his hands in order to hold his child, the rest he didn’t care about. He had to carry you. He wouldn’t allow any anbu, in-laws or not, to lay another finger on you.

Surely his bloody arrival didn’t go unnoticed. The quiet stop around Konoha was certainly ruined as his loudly announced himself and you by walking into town covered in blood, his arms shaking as he held you from the building anxiety at your condition. With anbu on either side of him, one of whom was holding his baby that was wrapped up tightly in his haori. The soft cries were too weak of that of a healthy baby. It’s a sound that breaks the toughest of hearts. It makes for quite the spectacle.

Plenty of concerned eyes were on him. The public could think what they wished... it was Hiruzen he still wasn’t sure he could face. Especially now. When you are in surgery where he had been told by a nurse assisting in the process that it doesn’t look very good and his itty bitty son who is silently struggling with complications that come with being born early. He keeps glancing at the door, expecting the old man to come in at any moment to tell him how horrible he is.

“A homewrecker and a murder. What a fine man you turned out to be.” He can picture Hiruzen saying to him in a cold cruel judgmental voice. Those once rather gentle and loving eyes now cold as they glare down at him. No sympathy to them now as all the blame falls to Jiraiya for your demise. It’s not like it’s wrong.

“If you had just left her to be with someone who deserves her, none of this would have happened.”

Maybe that’s true. Maybe there’s something wrong with him. Maybe if he did leave you, you would have moved on to love a man who wouldn’t get you pregnant with a child that is testing your will to live. Please live! How can he just get his life together with love and companionship just to have you die on him? It feels like Hiro will go with you. If one goes so will the other. He just... can’t be alone anymore. Can he survive losing his family like this?...

A hand lands heavy on his shoulder. Without realizing it, Jiraiya had completely become lost in thought. He was staring at blurry shapes as his eyes no longer tried to focus on what was around him. He blinks several times. He looks up slowly. For once his perspective is of that of someone small. He’s sitting in an old chair in the back of the infant intensive care unit holding his own little one in need of their care. It’s like being surrounded by sorrow and worry as these small villagers are already fighting for their lives. He feels as small as they do staring up at his teacher.

There’s no anger or cruel disgust in Hiruzen’s face. Just concern. The old man is looking him over like he’s the sickly child in need of care. It’s been so long since he’s felt so lost and he doesn’t like it. A gentle nurturing smile is on his teacher’s lips. In that same tone he asks a question.

“What’s his name?”

“Hiroyuki... Hiro for short.” Jiraiya answers in a soft voice. He hadn’t spoken in so long that his voice feels weak. It’s hard to talk loud in this place anyways. All the little ones trying to rest makes it difficult to want to speak louder than a whisper.

“Really? That’s a very traditional name. I’m surprised you’d pick a name like that.”

“I didn’t...”

“I see.”

His gaze drops back down to his baby. It is a very traditional name. Old fashioned. A strong name. Hopefully strong enough to inspire his child to strive through this. You liked it so much. You.. do like it. He hasn’t lost you yet. Nor will he lose you. It was a prototype name for the main character of his book. When you read his rough draft, you fell in love with it. Once it had been determined that you and him were having a son, you’ve been referring to the baby by that name for months.

“Are you married?”

Jiraiya frowns. Why ask something like that? Perhaps he’s too tired and emotionally exhausted, but it rubs him the wrong way. The tension between him and Hiruzen is still there. It has been since he decided to see you despite the disapproval. Asking questions like this make his throat squeeze as he swallows back a harsh sarcastic remark.

“Yes.” His tone is still venomous. He can’t resist being cold. “Don’t worry, I didn’t birth a bastard into your family.”

“Jiraiya.” Hiruzen said his name with a small sigh. “Can’t I ask these things? I haven’t seen or heard from you two for over two years.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Mine.” The old man can admit it. The regret is there. “I didn’t just push you away, but my own daughter. When you both left, I knew right away that I had made a mistake. I’m sorry for behaving so poorly.”

“...” He exhales out some anger to relax. Hiro is so sensitive he might pick up on his father’s anger. If it hindered Hiro’s health, then Jiraiya can’t forgive himself. But the little bean had hardly stirred in his arms. Just a quiet coo and a small shift of a doll sized leg.

“How did you get married?” Hiruzen kept the conversation going. He took a seat beside Jiraiya, smiling as he can peer over to look at the baby.

“At sea. After we left we went to the bay. It was... spontaneous.”

“Ah hah. That sounds more like you. Then again my daughter was never boring.”

“Is... she isn’t boring...”

“Right.”

It fell silent again. In all honesty Jiraiya didn’t have much to say to his old teacher. Hiruzen had successfully severed an almost forty year old relationship. To stick it to him, both you and Jiraiya continued to see each other after being told to separate. For some time it was kept hush hush as to not cause further drama. Asuma and Kakashi helped out. They offered cover and well thought out stories to cover your back if Hiruzen ever asked. It was exciting. Sneaking around like star crossed lovers kept apart by family. There was a surreal feeling of danger being together.

Alas all good things must come to an end. Hiruzen ain’t no fool. He found out eventually and was none too pleased. He called Jiraiya all forms of terrible things. Your attempts to defend him and the relationship led to an explosive argument. It was everything Jiraiya didn’t want to happen with your family. You chose him. After taking you home for some drinks and cuddles, a rather strange conversation happened.

“I wish we could just run away.” Jiraiya joked. It was just a joke. He chuckled at the idea. “Could you imagine the look on his face if we did that?”

“... Why don’t we?” You asked. You looked at him with something he knows well. Determination and assurance. There’s something else he hadn’t seen that day yet. Beyond your tears from the sorrow the argument had caused you, you were smiling. “Yeah! We should run away!”

“Uhhhh... I was kidding, babe. I love you and all, but gramps will kill me if I stole you away.”

“Wah! Come on, honey!” You were exasperated. You wrapped your arms around him and rested your forehead against his. “Run away with me. Show me all those wonderful places you talk about.”

You wear him down so quickly. How can he refuse you? Traveling the world with the woman he loves sounded like a dream. A dream he can make a reality. He held your face and used his thumbs to wipe away the wetness on your cheeks. After a kiss, he gave you his reply.

“On one condition.”

“Name it.”

“Will you marry me?”

Just thinking about it now still makes him smile. The way you squealed and freaked out before almost choking him out in a bear hug still fills him up with joy. You repeatedly shouted yes with the same enthusiasm as if he were wreaking your shit. He did after you had calmed down a bit.

Hiroyuki began to fuss. His little face scrunching up as a soft wail comes from the boy. He’s not very loud, he doesn’t have the lungs to be loud. His face turns red and those soft cries grow in volume. Before Jiraiya could really react, a nurse swooped in and took him away. The amazing little distraction that kept Jiraiya sane was now being cared for by someone else. It feels wrong. Yes it’s for Hiro’s health but he didn’t like being away from his child. The nurse was checking over very thoroughly to see what was causing the baby to act up.

Another nurse came in as well. One he knows is assisting the doctors in your surgery. She doesn’t look grim. Or is he too hopeful? She stops in front of him. Then she smiles.

“The surgery went well. Your wife is in recovery.”

The relief that flooded over him felt like a wash of cold water on a sweltering day. Jiraiya sighs out all that stress loudly. He doubles over with his elbows on his knees and hands in his hair as he pushes his hair back. His head swims a little with vertigo as the surge of relief was like a title wave washing over his body.

“Can I see her?” He asks.

“Not yet. We have to run some basic tests after she wakes up. Then we’ll move her to a room you can visit her and she’ll stay there until she’s recovered.”

It’s torture. He’s so close to seeing you but he... can’t. Fighting with the staff will do no good. He has to respect what they have ruled. Yet he still wants to bang his head on the wall out of frustration. It’s that odd slow process of being in hospital that can’t be rushed. He hates waiting.

Then the paediatric nurse that had taken Hiroyuki did a small cheer. She praised the baby like he’d done a great feat.

“Good job, little man! Good job!” She coos at him. She looks over her shoulder to inform everyone of the good news. “He feeds well! He’ll be a big and strong in no time.”

That is good news. It’s amazing! She turns back around to continue to praise and feed Hiroyuki. Since you are unavailable, Hiro will be fed by formula for now.

Again a hand rests on his shoulder. Jiraiya glances over to Hiruzen. The old man is smiling at him in congratulations. The hard feelings are still there... but it was nice to have some emotional support during this incredibly difficult situation. He doesn’t really say anything. He doesn’t really have anything to say.

Oh god... Jiraiya pauses with a terrible thought. He is ill prepared for caring for a baby. He thought he had two more months! No clothes! No diapers! No blankets, bibs, cloths! Nothing to raise a baby. Especially a little baby that needs layers and warmth.

“I... I need to get things. For Hiro.” He announces.

“You should rest first.” Hiruzen disagrees with a different suggestion. “You’ve been here for hours.”

“No. I have nothing for him. Not even a onesie.”

“He’s not going anywhere for a while, my boy. The hospital will provide him with clothing while he’s here.”

“I can’t just... do nothing.” He admits.

“You can’t be a good father or husband if you run yourself into the ground.”

The man has a point. Jiraiya takes a moment to sigh. He’s dirty. With your blood and soil from the forest. He’s tired. He hasn’t calmed down since he came into this hospital. The hours of waiting and fearing had taken a toll. Although holding his child did charge him up. So did the good news. He feels as if he could handle a hard mission from the surge of energy he got from hearing his family is okay. Yet at the same time he could face plant right there and simply lay there to rest for the time it takes until he could see you again. A jingle of keys gains his attention. Hiruzen is offering him house keys.

“My home is always open to you. Take a shower. Take a nap.” Hiruzen advices. “If you wish, I can watch over them while you’re away.”

“... Okay.” Jiraiya reluctantly agrees. As much as he didn’t want to admit, he is worn out. He takes the keys.

He wanders over to the old corner neighbourhood where Hiruzen lives. As he was invited, he does help himself. He took the time to wash the blood out of his clothing, he hangs them up to dry before jumping into the shower. The imagery is always a little poetic. Even if he’s not sure what the poem is. The thin watered down streams of blood that left his skin and washed down the drain was... renewal? The pain of the stressful morning shouldn’t linger anymore. You are safe. His baby is safe. The stress of it all should wash down the drain as well.

After getting clean, Jiraiya leaves the bathroom in just his underwear and a towel wrapped around his shoulders. He crashed on the couch. He didn’t mean to. But as soon as he sprawled out he passed out...

Next he awakes it’s because someone is prodding him. A finger poking into his arm with a slight it of hesitation, as if somewhat afraid of waking him. He opens his still heavy eyes to see Asuma there standing over him.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?” He mumbled.

“Well being half naked on the couch in my childhood home is not exactly how I expected to find you.” 

“My clothes were bloody.”

“I see.”

Jiraiya heaves himself up and groans. Somehow he has a headache. He is still tired. He focuses back on the younger man.

“Why are you here?” Then he gasps as a thought comes to mind. “Did something happen? My son? My wife?” He stands quickly as he worries he slept through a tragedy.

“Calm down, they’re okay. The old man asked me to come get you.”

“What for?”

“He didn’t say. He just wants you to go to the marketplace where he’s waiting for you.”

Jiraiya sighs as he relaxes. He thanks Asuma as he trudged to the room he hung out his clothes. Asuma follows to give one tidbit of information before leaving him be. He listens with a smile as his brother-in-law updates him on how his family is doing. It’s all good things. You are awake but in pain. You can’t move all that well since you aren’t supposed to put any stress on your middle at all as it heals. Hiroyuki for convenience sake and given the unique situation has been moved into your room with all his needed equipment so you can bond with him. Apparently you cried when you held him for the first time. That feeling must have been overwhelmingly amazing. You didn’t get the opportunity to earlier when you were unceremoniously sliced open. Hiruzen hadn’t visited you yet. Which was peculiar. That man loves you to bits.

Once dressed and presentable, Asuma kept him company going back into the commercial part of town. Once so, Asuma left as his team of genin were waiting for him. It ain’t so hard to spot the Hokage among their people. A few citizens and ninja alike were gathered around him speaking of various things. All of which Hiruzen listened until Jiraiya made himself known among the crowd. Despite being a real fool sometimes, Hiruzen was a good leader.

“You’re still worried about the lack of baby things you have, correct?” Hiruzen asks.

“Yeah, what of it?”

“Come, I know the best place for all of that.”

Without a second of hesitation, the old man turned and strutted down the street. Jiraiya raises a brow and does follow. Is the geezer really taking him shopping? It’s sweet, it’s just a little odd. Then again he was so tired that perhaps he sounded more insistent about the baby things than he meant. He still needs it all. He’d rather his child have their own clothes rather than the ones the hospital has. If just to provide something. Anything to contribute to Hiro’s health. He feels so powerless to do anything else.

It was therapeutic. Shopping for baby things relit the joy of having a baby. Walking into that store and seeing all the things one can get for their child had melted away the stress and the glamour of it all set back in. Jiraiya had actually surprised himself in his enthusiasm about doing all of this. He couldn’t stop grinning widely at all the cute little pyjamas and outfits. The socks! The socks were so small it blew his mind. It was crazy that something that can barely fit his finger would fit a person so small. Hiruzen had to rein him in a little from overbuying. Hiroyuki will grow faster than he can comprehend. While all the premie stuff was adorable, the wee lad will grow out of them quickly. It was better to get only a few things for now and focus on some of the bigger things. A couple of onesies, a couple of blankets. The softest cloths imaginable that are meant for the fragile skin of a baby. Beanies and those cute little socks. Things to get Hiro started up once he’s healthier. Quite surprisingly, Hiruzen offered to get something for the baby as well. He has proved he’s a good grandfather before so it will be something nice. With little hesitation, Jiraiya agreed. Whether or not this gift will be accepted was totally up to you. It was a stuffed animal. A plush monkey toy with a rattle feature to it. Rather fitting for a new child to the Sarutobi clan.

Now with plenty of bags in hand, Jiraiya and Hiruzen make their way back to the hospital. They got your room number and eagerly go to it. Jiraiya was now feeling a mix of anxiety and excitement. Anxious to see the condition you are in but excited to see you nonetheless. He went in first. Relief washed over him as you aren’t as bad as he expected. Bed bound and sore. You are hooked up only to an IV and all cozied up as well as you can be in hospital. It wasn’t so different from Hiroyuki, who is also on machines and stuck in this grim place. At the moment you are holding Hiroyuki. The wee little guy somehow looks smaller in your arms. All your attention is on your baby. You’re rocking him ever so slightly as you bottle feed him. It’s a sight that could melt anyone’s heart.

It’s only when he was hovering above you leaned down to peer at the baby did you take notice of your husband. You greet him softly and he gave you a kiss. He then gently stroked Hiro’s soft little cheek before placing a feather soft kiss on the little guy’s head.

“How’s he doing?” He whisper asks.

“Just fine. He’s so wonderful.” You reply.

“Yeah. He is.” Jiraiya pauses and casts his eyes back to you. He gave your cheek a kiss. You’re wonderful too. The strongest woman he knows. “We got him things.”

“We?”

You look up from your baby to him. Then your eyes cast beyond his shoulder towards the door. Recognition and surprise takes your expression. As well as a hint of hurt.

“Papa.” You say quietly.

“Hello my dear.” Hiruzen greets you as warmly and as fatherly as he had to Jiraiya hours ago. He enters the room but still kept a bit of distance, not wishing to crowd you. “How are you?”

“I’m okay... as okay as I can be.”

Jiraiya scoots away. He felt in the middle of this. He tiptoes to the other side of the bed so he can still be nestled close to his wife and baby. You and your father spoke quietly. It was civil. It was actually good. He apologized. You forgave him. Fairly soon you were in tears. Your blubbering turned into full blown sobbing as your out of balanced hormones took over. It is a lot. Hospitalized with your sickly little baby. Hurting and surrounded by people who love you. You cried at the sight of the little plush monkey you were given for Hiroyuki to cuddle. Needless to say you got lots of hugs. Gentle ones as to not disturb the little babe cradled in your arms. You let your father have a turn with Hiro. Hiruzen was always good with babies. He handled your little one with extreme care.

“He’s truly remarkable.” Hiruzen said with a fond smile. “Calm like his mother. Strong like his father.”

The old man gives a final cuddle to Hiro before handing him back to you. Hiruzen then gave your head a kiss, telling you quietly how proud he was of you. You smile at your father. There’s a lingering exhaustion under your expression. It only grows as Hiruzen said his goodbyes, he has a village to run after all. He paused to gave Jiraiya a nod that conveyed enough of a fond farewell. Jiraiya returned it before focusing on you.

“Here, love.” Jiraiya stepped in with his arms out to scoop up his kiddo. “You should rest. When was the last time you got pain killers?”

“I’m fine, Jiraiya.” You insist as you slightly adjust your position on the bed. “I don’t ever want to stop holding him.”

“And your pain?”

“Manageable.”

Sigh. You’re only saying that because the meds you are on make you weak. You’d have no choice but to put Hiroyuki back in his incubator if you took them. Jiraiya pulls the chair in the room up to the bed and sits. He rests his elbows on the mattress and props his head in his hands. He’s still tired. That nap didn’t do much. He wanted to be close to you, but due to your condition he didn’t want to touch you. Now that he is he can relax. Like totally relax. The soft coos from his extra small son was strangely calming. Even more so as you hum and talk softly to Hiro...

Your hand touches his hair, petting him. He groans as you lovingly whisper for him to sleep. He resists at first. It didn’t last long.

“Are you sure you don’t mind him like that?”

His ears burn and perk up at the sound of a familiar voice. He must have dozed off. That slow haze of fuzzy sounds was clearing as he wakes up.

“Of course I don’t.” You answer. Your hand returns to pet Jiraiya’s head. “I don’t mind having my husband close. He’s been so worried about us that he hasn’t been sleeping.”

“Who told you that?” Jiraiya asks as he sits up.

His back crackles like a bag of chips getting stepped on. He cringes as he shifts and stretches to readjust. Sleeping at this angle is not pleasant. His cheek somehow hurts from sleeping on the little section of mattress. Is it made out of rocks and foam? How are you so comfortable on that?

Of course all his soreness fades when he looks at you. You look better. Healthier. In your arms is the greatest thing he’s ever made. Hiroyuki is sleeping, looking content and peaceful in your embrace. You chuckle and gently use your thumb to wipe something off of Jiraiya’s chin. Was he really at the point of drooling? Or are you teasing him again?

“You only snore when you’re exhausted. It sounded like Paku when he’s got a cold was in my bed.”

“Hey!” His sentiments was echoed by that oh so familiar voice.

He turns to see Kakashi lounging by the window. The iconic masked man had his book lazily laid flat in his limp wrist as he looks at you in offence on behalf of his dog. He was bound to show up at some point. As close friends, Kakashi wouldn’t go a day without seeing you. You’ve been away for so long. It must have been hard on the young man. You kept in contact when you could. Must be nice... to have plenty of family and friends awaiting your message. Then again, these people like Jiraiya too.

“I got you guys something. More specifically I got Hiro something.” Kakashi left his perch to approach the bed. From a back pouch he pulls out and presents a folded piece of cloth. When unfolded it looks to be about the right size to swaddle a baby. Rather adorably it matches the bedding that Kakashi owns. “I heard that he needs lots of layers. But it seems you already took care of that, my lord.”

Jiraiya casts a glance to the bags of baby stuff he bought earlier. Maybe he did go a little ham. But his little one needs things to grow into. Hiroyuki is dressed in one of the onesies he bought. It is probably the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. Totally worth the splurge. That little cutie looks pretty darn cute in a onesie that has cartoon frog faces printed on it. Hey, it’s his kid and this is the first time he’s seen clothes with frogs on them. It just seemed appropriate.

“We can never have enough.” He says. He takes the blanket and unfolds it. “Thanks. I got a feeling this’ll be mama’s favourite.”

You tut your tongue at him before taking the blanket. With gentle hands you tuck Hiro in with the newest addition of the ever growing blankie pile. The smile on your face as you attentively take care of your baby is wonderful. Too wonderful to interrupt for any reason. Is it possible to fall in love with you all over again? Just watching you interact with Hiroyuki fills Jiraiya with a type of feeling he felt when he realized how he felt about you. It’s all warm and fluttering in his chest like he’s seeing you for the first time.

“I think he likes it.” You say softly.

“I think so too.”

At the same time, you and Jiraiya hook a finger around the edge of the blanket to pull it down to reveal more of Hiroyuki’s face. Not that it’s hard to find. If anything the little tubes will always lead the way to that adorable face. The babe hadn’t stirred a little bit. He’s awfully chill for a baby. A blessing considering the circumstances. He hasn’t cried much unless it’s for food. His favourite hobby so far has been sleeping. Which is good. He should while he can.

Wham!

Everyone turns their head towards the door as it slams open. The culprit for disturbing the peace was a child. One that is most certainly not in training for medical. The blond boy was messy and the energy he gave off was too chaotic for hospital work. Plus busting into a room unannounced is not how bedside manners work.

“Kakashi-sensei!” The boy shouted in annoyance. “Stop being lazy and train me for god’s sake! I gotta win the exams!”

Well that did it. At the sudden loud intruder, Hiro began to cry. The peace is officially broken. You immediately went to comfort the poor little guy, hushing and rocking him in an attempt to quiet down the wails. They’re pretty loud considering he’s got weak lungs. It invoked anger in Jiraiya. Hearing his baby cry made him mad. When he stands it catches the attention of the little punk who had caused the chaos. The boy blinked a few times as he took in the rather large angry man looming over the bed of a tired woman hushing a newborn to glare right at him. Then his gaze went over to you and quite obviously staring at Hiro. It is a sad sight to anyone who hadn’t seen it before. It only annoyed Jiraiya more.

Kakashi could very clearly sense that Jiraiya was out of patience and quickly grabbed the boy by the back of the collar and escorted him out. Better to have an annoyed child than a dead one.

“Calm down.” You said. You pull on his sleeve to gain his full attention. “We’re both fine, don’t get so worked up.”

“I’m not worked up.”

“You are at least ten shades of red right now.”

Jiraiya pouts and crossed his arms. At least he’s got the paternal instinct. Or is he already too much of a mama bear? Hearing the louder upset cries of his newborn skyrocketed his temper. Just as quickly as the crying started they calmed. Hiroyuki is quieting down again. Those few minutes of crying tuckered the little guy out. It tuckered you out too. You are still recovering from surgery after all. You haven’t rested since you got ahold of your child.

With some coaxing, Jiraiya takes Hiro from you and sets him back in the pod. With more coaxing, he gets you to settle down. As much as he felt like he shouldn’t, he left to let his family catch up on some much needed sleep. He can find something to do for a few hours, right? Maybe pester Asuma or Kakashi for a while. Yeah they got students now but surely they can be sent off to do some kind of “training exercise” so they can humour their sleep deprived friend. He just needs a distraction. Sitting in the hospital overthinking about the health of his family will do no good, even if they are fine.

Once outside, Jiraiya was faced again with the blond boy that had made his baby cry. He got an apology at least. His ire for the shit disturber calmed. Alas it was quickly relit with a vengeance with the child’s next question.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“There’s nothing wrong with my son! He’s just... got some growing up to do.”

Jiraiya pushed past the child, but the kid kept following him asking questions. Despite his best efforts, Naruto as he learned the kid’s name was, wouldn’t stop pestering him. An afternoon of being with friends was quickly fleeting.

Maybe it won’t be so bad. Something to do while you and Hiroyuki are in hospital. Jiraiya is well aware he’d lose his mind from worrying and not being able to do a damn thing about it. You supported him when he told you he’s got a student for a month or so. You supported him further, forcing yourself to stand so you could hold him in a hug when he told you who that child was. You know as well as everyone who Naruto’s parents were and the heavy weight it holds over your husband.

For a few days, Jiraiya spent his time on a schedule. From late morning to late afternoon he trained Naruto. At the same time everyday he cut off the training and went to visit you for the last two hours for visitation. He held his son and helped with a couple of the baby tasks. Somehow he found a way to lay in the hospital bed with you, which was nice and close. As stoic as you can be about pain, every shift you made caused a wince. But no matter how much he told you that you don’t have to move, you still did so in order to cuddle up to him in your favourite ways.

You were released after those few days. With strict orders from your doctor to take it easy as your body heals. It was hard to tear you away from Hiro. Jiraiya had to keep pulling you away from the incubator. No parent should leave their baby. It’s clear you are having a hard time accepting that you have to be away from your baby. While Hiro is doing okay health wise, the hospital didn’t want to release him until his lungs were stronger and the problem with his innards was cleared up. You kept the monkey plush your father got for Hiro, clutching onto it tightly as you reluctantly left the hospital.

“We’ll visit him everyday, okay?” Jiraiya assures you.

“Promise?” You ask quietly, looking up at him with large watery eyes.

“I promise.”

“You really promise?”

“Really really.”

“Promise to the moon and back?”

“And even further. Come on, he’ll be fine.”

You sighed and followed him. Surprise took your sorrow when he took you back to your childhood home. Hiruzen was nice enough to let you and Jiraiya occupy your old room, which was converted into a guest room when you moved out many years ago. The day before you were released, both Jiraiya and Hiruzen worked together to make part of the room set up for Hiroyuki. The old man had lots of the more permanent baby things around from when Konohamaru was a baby. Like a crib and mobile. It certainly explains why gramps is so good with children. He took care of Konohamaru a lot when the lad’s parents were on long missions. You were quite pleased to see the set up. The bed is big enough for two and the crib for one. It was much more comforting to have Hiro close. Once he’s home, that precious little guy won’t ever leave his parents sight.

So the schedule changed. For three weeks, Jiraiya trained Naruto to prepare for the final round of the exams. It wasn’t so bad. Most of the time he spent it thinking about you. The biggest perk of this whole relationship is that Konohamaru will talk to him again. The youngster really didn’t like him after you left suddenly with the strange man you like so much. Little did he know that Konohamaru idolized Naruto, and Naruto had grown to be fond of Jiraiya. Which in turn made him cool in that kid’s mind. Maybe he could still form some kind of relationship with your nephew. Time will tell.

He still kept the late morning to late afternoon pace and went to the hospital right after. You were usually there before him. Never more than an hour as you didn’t want to make him feel like you are hogging all the baby time. After spending quality time as a family, he had to regretfully take you away as the hospital closed down its visiting hours. The evenings are spent with your father in a peaceful way. Dinner, tea, and relaxing together. The topics of conversation were never heavy. Hiruzen mostly wanted to hear about the two years he missed of his daughter and now son-in-law. Which was mostly having sex in exotic locations. To spare your old man a heart attack, Jiraiya omitted that part of the story.

He does miss that. Not that sex defined the joy of this relationship, but he just... missed it. He missed you. Your pregnancy was pretty rough with spells of sickness and wacky contractions, so there was very limited windows to have a good time. Of course now you have a large slice in your middle and you’re on a level that’s just above bed rest.

Despite all that, you must have felt that too. After wrapping up another quiet night, you distracted him from helping you dress in pyjamas with kisses. It’s hard to resist. Finally being around you was stress free. You aren’t constantly uncomfortable from carrying his baby. You aren’t bloody and cold. You are healing. He could hold you without leaving a huge space as he no longer feared putting pressure on your centre. It’s still a sensitive wound, but you endured the bit of pain so you could at least comfortably get in all those kisses you missed out on for so many months.

“Wanna help me shower?” You ask in a tone that sent tingles down his spine.

“I’d love to.”

Jiraiya just barely got you escorted to the bathroom door before Hiruzen just happened to catch you and him being all... mushy. He didn’t really know what to do. He was caught red handed staring your father in the face with his hands on your ass. The last time something like this happened Hiruzen told him how unworthy he was for you.

Hiruzen’s gaze remained calm. He looked at you, your face red and expression embarrassed. Then to his former student, who is mirroring your expression. He chuckled after a moment of complete silence.

“May I ask that you two behave yourself in my home? I am still your father. I don’t want to hear or see you in any other way other than being my little girl.” He said with a pat to your head.

“Sorry, papa.” You murmured.

Jiraiya did ruefully retract. He merely helped you double check your wound dressings after you got out of the shower. Then he got you dressed before going to bed. Unfortunate, but whatever. Maybe when Hiroyuki is stronger for travel and the option to be in a home that is Hokage free comes about he can get in some quality down time with you.

That possibility came about sooner than expected. Two days before the last phase of the exams are about to start, great news came at a peculiar time. Jiraiya was more or less trying to figure out how to tell Gamabunta that an overexcited thirteen year old managed summon him. They were currently holding a bet to see who is more stubborn. Then you showed up, interrupting the whole thing.

It was startling to see you run and shouting his name. Jiraiya left his hiding spot to meet you part way, he ran faster as to stop you from hurting yourself. You nearly collapsed in his embrace. Sweat was beaded on your brow from the effort it took you run and your limbs are shaky. Yet none of that seemed to hinder your excitement or energy.

“I got the all clear! Hiro can be released!” You cheer.

“Really? That’s great!” All his worry faded as he understood why you are so thrilled.

“Yes! Yes it is!” You beam. You began to pull on his arms as if you had the strength to pull him back into the village. “Come on! I didn’t want you to miss it!”

“Miss what?”

“Our child getting all his monitoring removed! Taking him out of the hospital! The fun stuff!”

He stopped resisting and jogged with you. It was the best compromise since you were clearly hindered by your injury. You are far from your top speed but you were too excited to slow down. He couldn’t stop you if he wanted to. The news was so absorbing that he took no notice to his student and summon stopping to watch the interaction. Then they set their bet aside for a moment to speak about the situation.

“What do you mean that boy had a baby?!”

Jiraiya casted a glance over his shoulder. Gamabunta is staring daggers into his back. Great. Another problem to deal with. The toads can get fairly offended if their master doesn’t update them on major aspects of his life. Did he even tell them he got married? Shit... he’s in for one hell of a talking to.

The trip to the hospital felt both short and long. Short from the excitement, yet long from the impatience that excitement caused. You weren’t in the best shape by the end of the journey either. The stress you put on your wound wasn’t good for it. Yet you push on with the excitement you have to finally bring your baby home. He’s excited too. Actually it was more surreal than anything. His son had gotten better so quickly. The odds didn’t seem so favourable a month ago.

You happily held Hiroyuki, hushing and cooing at him as the tube got pulled out of his nose. The poor little guy wasn’t a big fan of it. Yet there’s a comfort to be found in those cries now. They’re louder and stronger. It sounds like how all healthy newborns should sound. With a promise to come back if anything should change in his health, Hiro was officially released.

“We should show him all of the best places in the village.” You said.

At this point you were completely oblivious to the crowd around you. Jiraiya placed his hand on your back to help guide you. Your eyes are glued on the baby in your arms. Hiro is mesmerizing to look at. Those dark eyes of his are open much more often now. They can’t do much other than to look at you with confusion but with a knowing. Like he knows you but can’t quite put together why.

“I think it would be best if we show him his new bed first.” Jiraiya replied.

You nod. You’re tired after running around with a gut wound. You lean against him and walk with him back to your old home. He took Hiro from you so you could rest. He can handle his baby for a while. Just as he takes a load off on the couch, there’s a knock on the door. With a loud sigh he gets back up to check.

There was no person there, but a gift basket on the step. Looking around, Jiraiya just managed to catch a glimpse of a dark cloak whooshing behind a tree. Your big brother if he had to guess. Most likely your sister-in-law too. The basket had an assortment of things. Mostly things for you. A few were a tad tone deaf and it came off more funny than endearing. Like a roll of bandages and wound wash that was nestled casually beside a package of your favourite snack. Odd but the heart is in the right place. A care package for mommy. That’s nice of them. It was the closest to an encounter and apology he’ll ever get from them.

“Thank you!” He wished the air, but he knew your family was close enough to hear.

He took it back inside and plunked back down on the couch. When Hiruzen came home, he was ecstatic to see Hiro. Babies bring out the best in people. Jiraiya spent most of the evening being the mediator for the baby passing. You woke up after a few hours and you were incredibly sore. To keep you in bed, your loving husband brought you Hiroyuki whenever the little one began to hungry cry. Then Hiruzen wanted a turn, so he had to scoop up Hiro and escort him to grandpa. It was nice. It’s nice being apart of a family again...

Funny how all these moments come back, isn’t it? At least the last memories Jiraiya has of his teacher is all good. Memories he can always keep alive. Memories of what it’s like to have a father. Memories he can share with his son when he’s older.

You have been inconsolable since Hiruzen died. The raid on Konoha that Orochimaru so perfectly executed had taken few lives. That is very fortunate. The protocols in place were effective. You and Hiroyuki are safe because of them. But the lives it did take were impactful.

It was as if life threw him a bone apart of a monkey’s paw. Over two years of hurt was healed and forgiven just in time. Your early labour was a blessing in disguise. You got to see your father and spend lots of down time with him making good memories. Hiro got to meet his grandfather. Jiraiya had a chance to... learn... experience. The last time he felt so happy in a family home is when he was with Minato and Kushina. He got to experience that, but in the other role. The excited new father just... enjoying the pride on his teacher’s face. Hiruzen was proud of him. For finding a reason to not live life, but thrive.

He looks up at the sky. The grey clouds are breaking up. Light is poking through them. It has stopped raining. To not disturb the peace, you and Jiraiya chose to stay to the very back, almost to the edge. Hiruzen’s funeral was quiet. No one had many words to say. The pile of flowers gathered on top of the casket said enough of the love his people had for him.

Your sobbing hadn’t stopped since you heard the news. Thankfully you weren’t there to see the body. By the time citizens, children, and ninja on maternity leave like you were released back to the streets Hiruzen was already covered and taken away by his most trusted hands. Being cooped up with the villagers had made you impatient and worried. You had to check on your family and friends who had fought to keep the invasion at bay. By the time you made it to the colosseum, you were a mess. Your relief was quickly replaced with despair as you took notice of all the blood on the roof where your father fought to his final breath. The whole time you had Hiro with you, who was blissfully unaware of the sorrow around him. He’s still unaware, he’s sleeping with you holding him against your chest and one of his many blankets draped over you to keep him shielded from the rain. In some ways it’s hard not to be jealous of that blissful unawareness.

Jiraiya shut the umbrella and shook the water off of it before clipping it. As much as mourning is cause for dramatically standing in the rain, Hiroyuki’s health as well as yours comes first. The last thing his fragile son needs is to get cold from the rain water and catch a bug that could undo that month of healing. You don’t need to be sick either. You’re still recovering from your rough childbirth.

People were beginning to leave. Kakashi stopped in front of you, offering you words of comfort. No one in this world knew what it was like to lose a father in a tragic way more than him. Asuma stopped to give you a hug. He fondly pet Hiro on the head before continuing on to the cemetery to watch yours and his father get laid to rest. That’s usually reserved for family.

“Did you want to go?” Jiraiya asks.

“Yeah... I think I do.” You answer.

“Okay.”

He put his arm around you and held you close. Together you and him made way to the cemetery. But like with everything they do, those crotchety elders had to stop him at an awkward time. You stopped too, but by the expressions on those old sour faces they didn’t want you around.

“I’ll catch up. I won’t be long.” He promises you.

You keep going, casting a final glance to him. Thankfully, Kakashi had hung back and he ushered you along.

“One guess on what you two want.” Jiraiya spoke first, cocking his brow at the elders.

“Don’t be coy with us.” Koharu snaps.

“This was a long time coming.” Homura added in the same terce tone. “You are the only one suitable to replace Hiruzen.”

Oh please. There’s plenty of others more suitable than him. The only thing that makes him slightly better in odds is that he’s a student of the previous Hokage and he’s old. Well not old old... but still. He’s got wisdom.... supposedly. Not enough wisdom to lead a military.

“No.” He said swiftly. “I’m not the guy you want.”

“You can’t deny what you are meant to do.”

“I’m not meant to do anything!”

He’s too tired for this. Between the pain of losing someone important, a baby that gets fussy every two hours every night and a wife that’s been inconsolable for two days, he hasn’t gotten much sleep. He doesn’t need this right now. With a stern scowl, he turns to return on his journey to the cemetery.

“Think of your family.” Koharu prods again. “It will be challenging to raise a sickly child with the lifestyle you have now.”

He freezes. A mix of anger and anxiety began to course through him. Sickly? Hiro is not sickly! Hiro is strong. In another month he’ll be chubby enough to not need extra layers. But... what if something did go wrong? It seems that even a breeze could break that little guy sometimes. SIDS is still a possibility and that is absolutely terrifying.

“And your wife.” Homura adds. “Both her and your son can live in comfort. With the best accommodations available.”

Are they bribing him? Or is it good old fashioned manipulation mixed with guilt tripping? The implications are clear. He’s putting his family at risk if he refuses. If he accepts it means he’s sacrificing his selfish need to be free for you and that wonderful little baby. But is it selfish? You loved the past two years. Being free with you was living the dream. Before Hiruzen died you talked about how much you looked forward to showing Hiro all the places Jiraiya took you.

“I... I don’t know.” He admits.

He doesn’t turn to see their reaction, but he could practically feel them exchange victorious smiles. The elders have finally wore him down into being indecisive. Both options have positives and negatives. He rubs his eyes, pinching his brows together to release some of the stress that had speared into his forehead. This isn’t something he can decide on his own.

“I need to talk to my wife about this.” He announces before continuing on his way.

They don’t protest or follow. Thank goodness. The last thing he needs is two looming nosy elders staring at him from the gates of the cemetery like a couple of local cryptids. They never come over here. Maybe hallowed ground burns them. You are easy to pick out of the small crowd. You are swaying from side to side like you are lost in a song. That’s just how Hiroyuki likes to be rocked.

“Is something wrong?” You ask.

“No.”

“Babe, come on. What happened?”

He put his arm around you and pulled you close.

“We’ll talk about it later. For now,” Jiraiya paused and motioned to the grave. “Let’s spend some time with him.”

“Alright.”

You rest your head against his shoulder. He rubs your back in a gesture of comfort. There’s a hole that you made by pulling the hem of the blanket back. From there he could see his baby contently resting. Placing his free hand on Hiroyuki’s back he could feel the warmth the baby is holding onto. He can feel the rise and fall of each calm breath from both mother and child. It put away all his worries. His family fine.

As for their future? Well damn. That’s uncertain. All Jiraiya does know is that he’d do anything to keep them safe. The path before him branches. He’s standing at a crossroads and for the first time he doesn’t know what what he should go.

Tonight. It’ll all be figured out tonight. Now it’s time to mourn... and appreciate what he has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am finally done this big boi! Hope you enjoy the more dramatic take I did, I wanted to keep this one more different than the other ones where he has a kid. Because complications happen and it’s more common than people would like to think. And hey, it brought his family back together and everyone turned out a okay... well almost everyone. Rip in pieces everyone’s grandpa. 
> 
> Next week is the pending request I received, almost done it! 
> 
> Also if curious to why I picked the name Hiroyuki, allow me to flash my lore librarian card. According to the reliable wiki, the folktale that inspired Jiraiya had the original name of Hiroyuki Shuma Ogata before they reworked it into The Gallant Tale of Jiraiya. I always thought that if he were to have children, he’d have three and they would be named after his namesake’s og name. So maybe I’ll use em more, cuz they are pretty names and the history to them makes them more meaningful.


	68. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request from a lovely reader!   
> During the time Jiraiya had taken Naruto under his wing, he met someone. A someone that changed his life. A someone that gave him things he never thought he would get, a second chance at love and a family of his own. He is your second chance at a good life. 
> 
> And to Tsunade she had missed her second chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notice a theme at all? Lol   
> Warning! Some light mentions of blood and injury. Nothing graphic. It’s a fine mix of vibes kinda proud of the juggle I did to include it all without doing too much if that makes sense. Most of it is like toothachey comfort fluff mixed with some darker tones to make it spicy. Also reader is pregnant in this one! Enjoy.

So it’s true. Tsunade looks between her long time friend... to you. She kept doing this. It’s a lot to digest. The rumours were enough, but seeing it was even more unbelievable. She could hardly get her head around the idea of Jiraiya finally committing to a relationship. It was a total punch in the gut, kick in the teeth shock when people kept telling her that Jiraiya had come home with a woman who looks ready to pop.

That was the hardest thing to really understand. What the hell happened during those two and a half years? The Jiraiya that left would have never been like this. Gripping the hand of his pregnant girlfriend whilst bashfully explaining how he kinda careened head first into love. He keeps looking at you and grinning in a way she’s never seen him do before. Like he can’t believe you’re really his. It’s the same kind of smile that Dan had once given her. You are fairly quiet. More or less just quietly but obviously dealing with some aches. Your face cringes every now and then. Your feet keep shifting. Your ankles and feet look swollen. Your belly is, no offence, quite large. Your free hand is bracing and rubbing your child heavy middle.

“Who are you?”

It came out harsher than she meant. Her expression must be harsh as well. You stare at Tsunade for several moments before answering. First you state your name.

“I... once worked for Orochimaru.” You admit with shame.

“Doing what?”

You bite your lip and take in a deep breath. It’s something you don’t really like to admit. It’s hard to talk about the past. Especially when that past is something you are not proud of.

“I was an aid, I guess. I helped keep the prisoners in line.”

“With violence?”

Jiraiya was quick to step in. His loving expression towards you turned critical to Tsunade. He scowls at her.

“Come on, do you have to ask her this stuff now?” He asks. He gestured towards you. More specifically the prominent baby belly you got. “We’ve been traveling all day! I only came to you first so you can start up her paperwork to make her an actual resident here.”

Tsunade scowls at him. He’s.. very protective. More so than usual. Something about this relationship doesn’t sit right with her. Anything that involves Orochimaru even a little bit never sits right. That man has a talent for finding people that are just as cruel as him or easy enough to manipulate into being like him. You shouldn’t be any different.

Then her medical training prods at her... a little. It’s easy to see you are uncomfortable. You have retreated to be as close to Jiraiya as possible. Your skin tone has gone ashen as it seems you are either getting lightheaded or sick. Your breathing is getting heavier as you try to remain calm and steady. It seems like a bout of morning sickness, or in this case late afternoon sickness. Not that this matters. A pregnant lady could still be evil. You could still be plotting something and it involved manipulating Jiraiya. After all this is quite the opposite of what he said he wanted when he left. He’s no family man. He still doesn’t come off as one. Not genuinely anyways. Perhaps your uncomfortable state will get the truth out quicker. Any woman in your state would be keen to speak in order to find a place to rest.

“Yes. I do have to ask this now.” Tsunade came to her conclusion. She folded her hands on her desk and looked at you evenly. “It’s my responsibility of who I let into our village. I can’t let anyone dangerous in and jeopardize people’s safety.”

“Dangerous?” Jiraiya scoffed. “If you want dangerous, we can find the most squeamish villagers and have them watch her throw up! That’s as dangerous as she gets.”

You tug on his arm. He pauses and looks at you. Immediately his frustration towards Tsunade turned into concern for you. He braced his hand along the lower side of your belly. You nuzzle your face against his sleeve, seeking some comfort.

“Are you okay, babe?” He asks softly. He released your hand to run his fingers through your hair. “You’re really warm.”

“I’ll be fine.” You reply. You sneak a glance to the woman behind the desk. “I don’t like the scary lady.”

“She won’t be scary forever. She’s just cautious around strangers. The more she knows about you, the less scary she’ll be.” He assures you in a very sweet tone. He only uses that voice when he wants something. Which at the moment is to get this over with quickly. Tsunade will have her way for better or for worse. It’ll be swifter to stay on the better. “Once were done here I’ll take you to the nicest places in town, okay?”

“Okay.”

You swallow down the wave of nausea and relish in his touch for a moment more before focusing on Tsunade again. The quicker you get this done, the sooner you can find somewhere cozy with your man. A place to simply relax with him sounds wonderful at the moment. Even if he does take you sightseeing. Any place would be better than here.

“No. I didn’t do anything violent.” You answer her question. “I calmed the prisoners down.”

She leans in with interest.

“How?”

Another hard question. It’s something you haven’t even told Jiraiya. He’s looking at you curiously. There’s a difference between the two of them. Tsunade was still rather suspicious of you, while Jiraiya was simply curious to you could quiet riots on your own. But...

“I can influence emotions.” You say slowly. Each word dragging on your tongue with hesitation. Jiraiya won’t think less of you now, will he? “I-I don’t know how I can. I just can.”

The deathly silence that follows your confession was off putting. It is the truth. Sometimes truths hurt. This odd ability came about at birth. As a child you would fend off your bullies by telling them to go away, and they would. Their sudden apathy to you wasn’t natural. You did what any child would do with such an ability, you took what you wanted from people. You are an orphan and you don’t know your parents. Perhaps one of them had the ability too and you inherited it? That makes the most sense. What does it matter? It’s not like you can ask them. It was clear you had to survive on your own without the privilege of parents to watch over you. Your antics had gotten you noticed.

Strange and parentless is what attracts Orochimaru. Is it so odd to have fallen to his lies? He told you such wonderful things. You’ll have a family. You’ll belong. He’ll feed you. Clothe you. Give you a room to call your own. You will have a greater purpose in life. You thought he loved you. As any child would wish for the adult taking care of them. How foolish you were to only figure out three years ago that he’s a liar. He only loved himself. You left once you learned you were only being used.

That’s what so wonderful about Jiraiya. Same team, similar childhoods, completely different men. Jiraiya is so much more. A better man. Kinder and wiser. A man that actually loves you and takes care of you. He didn’t step away after you admitted what you have. He closed his eyes as he is thinking deeply on what you said. Then accepts it. He sighs and opens his eyes. He smiles at you and reassured you with a firm squeeze of your hand.

“I always did wonder how you ended up in the hands of Orochimaru.” He said. His expression falls into sadness as he recalls a true simple but no less horrible fact. “It’s not like you’re the only one with the same story.”

“Are you mad? I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Of course I’m not.”

You smile and breathe a sigh of relief. See? A much better man. You continue to smile as your partner places a kiss on your lips.

“Do you use these powers often?”

You sigh as Tsunade interjected with another question. It’s fair enough for a question. She’s looking at you but taking suspicious glances to your partner. It’s pretty obvious she’s drawing a twisted conclusion to your admission.

“No. Not really.” You answer honestly. It won’t do you any good to lie to any degree to this woman. She’d find out. “I sometimes use it to ask the little one to calm down. But other than that I don’t like to use it.”

“Why not? A power like that can be quite useful to get what you want.”

From the corner of your vision you see Jiraiya’s mouth open as his brow furrows. He has a snappy comeback for her. You squeeze his hand in a sign for him to remain quiet. He is quick to snap at anyone who is even slightly mean to you. He’s a little too over protective sometimes. You do have to rein him more often as you get closer to popping. He nearly concussed Naruto for accidentally backing into you.

It’s very sweet that he wants to look out for you, but there’s no need for it. What’s wonderful is that he listens to you without any use of your powers, which you have never used on him. You can fend for yourself. You have in the past. You can take care of yourself without him always stepping in. Sometimes he needs to be reminded of that.

He shifts on his feet, but remained quiet. He’s not pleased. You can handle these questions. You are very different now. As a child you used your ability for survival. Then to quiet desperate hopeless souls that Orochimaru had captured as you grew into adulthood. It never felt good. Telling people how to feel isn’t right. Even telling your baby to calm feels strange. It feels selfish sometimes. You do it to save your body the pain of their kicking and restless shifting but a part of your conscious reminds you that a normal mother doesn’t have that option.

“I find no joy in controlling people.” You answer simply.

Tsunade sighs and leans back into her chair. Okay. Fine. You seem okay enough... for now. But the slightest misstep and she will have you questioned. She looks you over again with a much more careful eye.

“How many months are you?”

A smile grows on your face, finally a topic you enjoy speaking about!

“Seven and a half.”

Your excitement turns to worry as Tsunade frowns. Not the suspicious frown she has been critical of giving you, but one that is more confused and displeased.

“You’re sure?” She asks.

“Uh yes. I think I would remember how long I’ve been pregnant for.”

“And your eating habits?”

Okay this is getting a little strange. It’s worrisome. Are you too big? Too small?

“About the same.” You answer, your voice much more quiet as you try and figure out what she’s getting at.

Her very analytical eyes are moving over you like she’s calculating a hard equation. Her displeased frown didn’t waver as she thought. Uncomfortable under that intense gaze, you turn to Jiraiya. He’s looking between you and his long time friend with the same worried puzzled expression you have.

“Is there something wrong?” He asks.

“You’re bigger than you should be for seven and a half.”

“Hey! That’s a little mean.”

“Not you!”

“Well of course I know you meant not me!”

They began to snip at one another in a juvenile argument. Do they always bicker like children? You don’t have friends, so this is all quite new to you. No one at the base you were stationed at would speak to you. The prisoners feared you. The few experiments you had to calm hated you. The others in Orochimaru’s... care? Employment? Successes? They thought you were too weak to bother with. No one even noticed you left. They probably still haven’t noticed. Your usefulness had died out before you left. It was only a matter of time before you were killed for sport or used for an experiment. If only you had known there was a man who felt as if he were made for you out and about the world living his life away from you. You would’ve left earlier.

“Would mind going for a checkup? I doubt it’s life threatening, but it’s still something worth investigating.” Tsunade insists.

You agree. Throughout this whole pregnancy you have only been to a doctor once, and that was when you found out. It was in a small town that had one doctor that hardly seemed trained for anything, but she had enough equipment and whatnot to run a few tests. The reason you were feeling so under the weather had now seemed like the best side effect ever. You were happy, but nervous to tell Jiraiya. The subject of children had never come up in your very fast, passionate relationship with him. When you did ask, he was quick to put two and two together and squeezed you in a hug so tight it felt like your spine was permanently curved. Another visit would probably be best. Hopefully this odd abnormality will result in another spine curving surprise.

“Anything else?” Jiraiya asked, but his tone was baiting for her to say more.

“And I’ll start the paperwork to make you a citizen of Konoha.” Tsunade was somewhat reluctant to say.

“Sounds good!” He said with a cheery grin. He gently tugged on your hand to lead you away. “Come on, babe. Let’s go get that checkup.”

“Okay.” You agree. “But what about those best places in town?”

“They can wait.”

You roll your eyes. Jiraiya doesn’t usually go back on his promises, but if your health is compromised then there’s a chance you probably won’t leave the hospital. Hopefully it’s not that bad. But you’re an expecting mother. All things that could go wrong are going through your mind. It can’t be bad, right? Your child has to be okay.

Before exiting the office, you turn and offer a small wave to Tsunade. Despite her obvious suspicion of you, she’s been fairly pleasant and helpful. She must care to some degree. It won’t be today, but maybe someday you could be her friend. It would mean a lot to Jiraiya. He spoke of her often while on the trip. He cares for her greatly.

Her wave back to you was more or less her raising her hand. She gives off the impression that she’s still not sure about you. Can you blame her? From what you heard, her run ins with her old teammate have been less than pleasant. It doesn’t help that every run in with Orochimaru’s lackeys haven’t gone very well either. The last time they were involved they raided the village and stole the second to last living Uchiha.

You know the story quite well thanks to the few rumours in the base you were once at and Naruto’s passionate retellings. Alas you hadn’t seen his friend when you were in that dungeon. Your base had almost been completely abandoned aside from the crazy doctor still trying out the occasional cruel experiment. Thankfully the most you were exposed to was the injuries gained from walking too close to the bars of the prison. You’d get grabbed and pulled, clawed, screamed at. That’s where your ability became most useful. The physical touch required for your ability to work ensured that the attacks were at least short. But it meant holding a few scars as those unfortunate souls were determined to leave a mark somewhere. They wanted you to have a taste of their misery. But it’s not like you were much different from them.

That’s another thing that made Jiraiya so wonderful. He was the first person to be sympathetic towards you. The cuts and scratches on your arms were treated properly for the first time. You were tied up as he didn’t trust you at first, but he still cleaned and dressed your wounds. It was clear he didn’t see you as a threat, but he didn’t want you to be in pain despite the fact that you are an enemy. That’s what made you realize that men could be more than what Orochimaru was. That’s what made you fall in love. That boundless kindness.

Being in a real hospital is quite strange. It does have some similarities to the lab in at the base. There’s strange machines and it smells like what one think when around medicine and sickness. The bed is more comfortable at least. Your anxieties are being calmed by Jiraiya. He’s holding your hand. He’s looking around with a frown. He probably hasn’t been around the maternity ward before. All the strange contraptions are confusing him too.

Seeing him even a little upset does worry you. His head is somewhere else. It’s hard to tell where. You grab his hand more firmly and hold it against your belly. Anything involving the baby puts him in a better mood. His gaze focused back on you. He hides whatever he’s thinking about with a smile.

“I’m sure everything is okay.” You say with a smile.

“Yeah...” He replies softly. His hand rubs in a circle along your middle. “I’m sure it is too. I guess I’m preparing for the worse... the worse always seems to happen to me.”

“It won’t this time.”

His hand flinches back in surprise. The was the first kick he felt. He’s missed the last few times. Not intentionally. The baby liked to kick more at night when everyone is asleep. You don’t tend to bother him, no matter how he whines that he wanted you to wake him for anything. There’s no need to bother him at such an unreasonable hour. Even if he does take notice that you’re tired from all the restlessness from the baby kicking you. He pouts a lot, insisting that he’d rather be tired with you than well rested.

“See?” You say with a laugh. “They agree. Everything is fine.”

From the corner of your sight you catch movement. You look over to see that woman from before, Tsunade. She took a step in, paused at the frame of the door at what looked to be an expression that was caught between a cringe and something else. She turned and left by the time Jiraiya looked up from your belly. He was star struck at finally feeling a kick and was completely enamoured with trying to feel around your belly for another one, as if he could bait the little one into doing it again. Perhaps if he pokes you enough they will. Then again you might kick him if he does.

Maybe she walked into the wrong room. She is a doctor after all. She must be aiding a different patient and got the rooms mixed up. You don’t dwell on it. Not too long after another woman walked in. She was a doctor that was in charge of this ward. A nice woman who looked young despite her years of experience. Her hair is brown but has sliver stands mixed in to show she is older, but her enthusiasm and kind face was still quite youthful.

She was pleasant to work with. Since it was quite obvious that you and Jiraiya were totally new at this, she took the time to explain what she was doing. That included the big machine that was pulled up close to the bed. It had a screen and some contraptions under it the screen was hooked to, then it had some kind of handheld that looked like it was gonna scan you.

In the most basic terms that’s what it did. It’s amazing that medical equipment can be used for more than harming people. The idea of even seeing your child before they are born is a concept hard to grasp. The gel that was put all over your middle was cold, but that seemed like a small price to pay. That handheld was placed onto your skin and a grey image came to life on the screen.

“Okay.” The doctor said rather casually. She moved the device around to inspect the images that came up carefully. “Let’s see what we got here...”

Your eyes are glued to the screen. Your partner is doing the same. He’s leaned in with great interest. The doctor laughed after a moment.

“It’s no wonder you are larder than you should be for the beginnings of your third term!” She said with such joy it’s hard not to get excited. “There’s more than one baby in there!”

You share a look of shock with Jiraiya. That’s... good news but unexpected. The device was moved around so you could see the images the doctor pointed out.

“That’s one... there’s two.” She said as she moved the handheld around. Quite surprising she moved it sharply down and to the left. “And that’s three.”

“What?” Jiraiya said your thoughts exactly. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. You two are going to be the parents of triplets. Congratulations!”

The baffled expression on your beloved face was quite telling. He wasn’t expecting news like this. He didn’t know how to process this. Triplets? Three children all at once? Sure he worried about starting a family so late in life but this is just overkill.

He’s somewhere far away. You stare at Jiraiya as his furrowed brow and confused frown stayed on his face. His eyes are staring at the screen but it hadn’t seemed to sink in yet. You listen to the advice of the doctor while your partner seems to be having a crisis.

“The third baby is in a compromised position. He should move in place the closer you get to nine months, but we’ll have to monitor it. If he or the other two get compromised we may have to look into an alternative way for you to give birth. Surgery is quite common for mothers with more than one baby.”

That sounds scary. Every surgery you have seen has been a bloody torturous struggle for the person being operated on. Is it really any different in the hands of healers? Do they put their patients to sleep before? Or will you have to be awake and endure the pain of a surgical assisted birth?...

You got a second appointment and a picture of your womb out of this. As well as a lot of information to process. Triplets and the possibility of surgery. There’s also the very plain fact that you shouldn’t leave Konoha for several reasons. Most having to do with your pregnancy, but also because you aren’t trusted by anyone here but Jiraiya and Naruto. Jiraiya had spoke about maybe moving along fairly quickly after returning to Konoha to drop off Naruto. But that was mostly hopeful dreaming. He was stuck on the idea of being nomadic even after you have his child... or in this case children. He didn’t like that you lived so sheltered and wanted to show you what the world had to offer. You’ve seen enough for now.

Once outside again, Jiraiya finally broke his haze. He had slowed down to walking behind you, holding the picture of your womb that showed off his three children. Yeah he panicked. For a moment. Imagining the future shows one that’ll be busy. One child is challenging. Three is a whole other level. It’s thrice the work... He has so much to do. He looks forward to it.

You are... wonderful. Like everything that has involved you, it’s been better than he thought. He’s finally doing the things he’s always wanted to do. Three kids. Three identical little kids. Two girls and a boy. Heh... that’s enough to make a team.

You make this possible. To a girl that tried to do the right thing, to a woman that he’d lay his life down for. You have come a long way. You were timid around him at first. Hard to blame you since he had to tie you up and interrogate you. But you were honest and all you had said panned out. A few people got arrested because of your detailed accounts of them, their crimes, and their association with Orochimaru. You had the choice to leave after he let you go... but he didn’t want you to. There was something about you that had him stuck. He didn’t know why, but you somehow made things in his life complete. As if you were a large puzzle piece that he had lost, and once put in place the whole picture of his life make sense. Honestly he never expected to find the love of his life during that two and a half year journey... He never expected it to find it at all. You changed everything. In the best ways possible.

His arms wrap around you with his hands resting on your prominent baby bump. You stop as he holds you from behind. His body against your back firmly. That security that his touch always filled you with comfort. Light kisses press on your neck.

“Triplets, eh? Do you think we can handle it?” Jiraiya asks.

“I hope so.” You reply. “I think we have enough love for them. The rest we can figure out as we go.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He said as his hands gently squeezed. “Are you scared at all?”

“A little.” You admit. You place your hands over his. “I‘ve seen what surgery is like and I don’t want to go through it... but I don’t think childbirth is any less painful the normal way.”

“Proper surgeries use medicine to dull the pain. I promise that you won’t feel it as much as you think you will.” He pauses again. Part of his face presses into your hair. His voice lowered to a whisper. “I won’t let anyone but the best work on you, no matter how this happens.”

Jiraiya can make anything sound feasible. He makes it sound safe. In a way he makes it sound like it’s not anything to worry about. As if is very gentle words had banished away the sights of screaming and blood you have witnessed countless times. It’s something you don’t have to worry about for another month and a half, but it feels as if it is right around the corner. It’s not a lot of time for a baby to navigate itself. Why did one decide to cause trouble?

“At least we know one thing.” You say.

“What’s that?”

“Your son is already taking after you.”

He laughs. You almost fall off your feet as your boyfriend rocks you about in his fit of laughter. You giggle with him. He seems to be much more at peace now. So are you. While it is uncertain how exactly your children will enter the world, you are content knowing Jiraiya is here to make sure they all arrive safely. Your fears of what happens on a proper surgery table is put at ease, but not totally laid to rest. Even with a loving partner assuring you it’s much better than what you saw, it’s still scary to lay so much trust in someone who is intending on cutting you open.

It’s best not to think about it too hard. You may not even need to be cut open anyways. If your son is like his father, he’ll quit his trouble making just in time to set things right. Jiraiya brought you out of your thoughts with a kiss to your cheek. He grabbed your hand and began to pull you back to the paths.

“Come on, I promised you a tour.”

He grabbed your hand and led you around. The aches and pains you’ve grown accustomed to numb. Jiraiya had gotten more and more excited to show you around the days prior to coming to Konoha. Naruto too. They both wanted to show you places that meant something to them. That excitement had made you excited too. You can sit later. Your partner wants to show you his hometown. While you would have liked to include Naruto in this adventure, it’s good for him to visit with his friends in town. He missed them greatly. Plus you get to have Jiraiya to yourself. With just him, you can really learn what he loves most about the place he grew up in.

Not surprising, Jiraiya liked outdoor areas. He was happy to show you the places he spent lots of time at while growing up. He likes the woods. A lot of his childhood memories seem to be around the patches of trees that are in the village. Playing tag with his team. Learning how to climb a tree without using his hands. Whether or not he liked these spots to peep at women as a whole different topic all together. Same with the river and bath house. Those childhood memories were more vague in his explanations as to why he likes them so much. He’s a good swimmer... but it’s like it’s a hobby of his. By his smooth execution from when he spied on you, he must have had lots of practice at leering.

Not that you minded him spying. Adorably, he was shy to ask you out after he let you go. You stayed with them because you had no where else to go. Plus you liked them. Naruto was quick to accept you and made you feel like you could have somewhere to belong to. Jiraiya was a bit more stingy... but turned into a babbling mess of excuses whenever you caught him looking at you. He liked having you stick around, he just didn’t want to say it outright.

It was more cute than weird. One time he broke the fragile old fence of an ancient bath house. He fell face first and stared at you owlishly under the mess of rotted wood he collapsed upon. The other women in the spring booked it, screeching in offence at the pervert gawking at them. But his eyes never left your body. He didn’t care for the others.

Maybe you’re weird too. No one ever looked at you like that before. It was very enjoyable. He sat up on his knees and tried to come up with an excuse. But his gibberish wasn’t intelligible. The best you could understand was his saying something of how pretty you are. His voice went up a pitch when you approached, fear more evident in his eyes as he expected you to send him to god with a single blow. You have some prowess in battle and have shown great promise before when defending yourself by his side. With some proper training, you have shown you are able to hold your own. He didn’t want to be on the other end of that. His jabbering fell quiet when you kneeled in front of him and gave him a timid kiss.

It’s a special memory. It was your first kiss. Perhaps not as romantic as most people’s stories... but special all the same. From that kiss started a relationship that you’d never thought you’d ever get. Jiraiya showed you a lot of firsts. There were lots of times he wasn’t so sure what to do since he’d never done it before. Other times he was pro. All of it was good.

All the exploring and reminiscing led to hunger. As a late term pregnant lady, it lead to you getting cravings. Quite thankfully, Jiraiya knows the best places to get a bite. Taking the main streets instead of the backwards ways Jiraiya took you before had yielded different results. People stared. They stared when you first came to town and again on the way to the hospital, but it was more blatant this time. Perhaps they just didn’t care to hide it anymore. You are a new person with a less than trustworthy past, who is together with one of the most famous shinobi to hail from this place and to top it off you are pregnant with his children. It would make anyone who is familiar with his reputation to at least do a double take. Those who know Jiraiya before he left don’t know him now. He’s changed and it’s for the better.

In reality he’s always wanted these things, he just never said it. A wife. Children. Maybe a nice home. Maybe living as a family with the same lifestyle he’s always had. He could picture it either way. Watching his children play out in the backyard through a window while he helped his wife with chores or playing with them in a river he found beside a well travelled road. But once he hit mid forties he really stopped trying. It was best to just give into the fact that he’d never get these things than live so miserable in the wake of constant rejection. For a while he was convinced he was unlovable. No woman wants him longer than a night. In some cases no longer than a few hours. So why bother looking for more? There’s no way he’d find one that would want him for a lifetime.

In some ways, Naruto changed that. That kid, as boneheaded as he can be, did make Jiraiya feel as if he could be loved. Maybe not in a romantic way, but in a fatherly way. If he can’t have kids of his own, it’s nice to be able to at least be somewhat of a parental figure to a child he knows doesn’t really have one. He’s not the first. Naruto had accumulated a few adopted parents. With a small collection of adults from the village who had accepted him and had grown protective of him. But the one on one, camping out in the wild with nothing else type of company was healing in a way. To have a child just talk to him without a filter and value everything he was filled that void. Then you came along after a year... and he did fall smitten.

There you were, covered in dirt, old blood, and wearing clothing that looked like it was held together sheerly because you wished it to. It was difficult to look away from you. You’re really pretty. His heart did fall when Naruto explained how he found you and caught you. An associate of Orochimaru? You? Jiraiya didn’t believe it. He didn’t want to. Alas another pretty lass was fated not to be his because she’s evil.

But then you started to talk. You were scared and spilled your guts out to him. It was clear you wanted to do the right thing. You wanted a different life. A second chance. A person as genuine as you didn’t belong with the enemy. Someone as fair and thoughtful as you belonged with him. He wanted to take care of you. But he was so used to not having his feelings reciprocated that he was hesitant to say anything. When you decided to stick with him and Naruto, he was happy. Maybe he could try to flirt and see where it would go...

Maybe he would have actually taken you on a date sooner if Naruto didn’t keep batting mocking flirty lashes and making kissing noises to annoy him. He had to smack that kid on the head a few times for embarrassing him in front of you. Then again he did somehow manage to woo you, a first kiss in a hot spring after failing in his mission to see you naked in a subtle way was pretty good too. The hours that followed still make him smirk. His only regret is not telling you sooner. After so many times of failing, he always seemed to forget that lesson. He really shouldn’t wait anymore when it comes to his heart.

You sat with him on a bench munching on a made to order pastry filled with conflicting ingredients that your babies wanted to taste. Jiraiya was slightly more traditional and lacked your particular pallet with a fruit filled one. He wasn’t as ravenous as you either, he was nibbling while smiling to himself about something.

You took a look around as you ate. It’s easy to see why he’s so fond of this place. It is beautiful. It’s a mix of nature beside well tended buildings and roads. The nature of the forest is in harmony with the people. There’s a real sense of peace here. The people walk around freely with smiles on their faces. There’s children running around and playing. The air is filled with a warmth and welcoming. It would be a great place to raise your children. It feels like they could never be hurt here. Especially with their father around, who promised to always protect them.

“I love you.” Jiraiya said. He looks at you with a smile that had you captivated. “I just wanted to tell you that.” He takes a moment to glance around. As lovely as this village is, sometimes people don’t know how to mind their own business. “I know to some we come off disingenuous.”

“I love you too.” You reply. You take hold of his arm and hug it tightly. “I don’t really care about what other people think. I’m just happy to have you.”

“I’m happy too... Which is why I want to ask you something.” He paused and chuckled. He shifted so he was angled towards you. With his free hand he caressed your bump before placing a kiss on your lips. No more waiting. “Or I guess I should say propose.”

“Oh... Jiraiya.”

“We aren’t all that traditional, but I think we should do this right. Once you have our children and we get a handle on being parents, I want you to marry me.”

“Really? You want that?”

“I’ve finally found a woman I love and she’s having my children. There’s no reason I shouldn’t marry her.” His expression suddenly dropped into worry. “Unless you don’t want to-!”

You grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss. He is quick to melt into it. It’s heated and passionate. Almost too passionate to be done in public. It’s the type of heat that has always been alive between you and him.

“I would love to marry you.” You say.

No verbal reply came, Jiraiya can express his feelings in a different way you and him both enjoy. He pulled you as close as possible. To most it was probably obnoxious to watch. His hand moved down to squeeze your thigh. Your lips and tongue are fully occupied by his.

He’s going to be a father. He’s going to have a wife. With you in his life everything finally makes sense. After so long of all of it not... It’s almost like being awake in a dream. You are his second chance. He’s never been so glad to have finally taken it...

She should be happy, right?

With elbows propped on the table and hands folded at chin level, Tsunade stares at half done paperwork that would grant your citizenship. With a headshot of you smiling happily clipped to it. You hardly seem dangerous. But it’s hard to trust you... It’s hard to be objective.

Jiraiya is smart on all accounts, but he’s a fool with women. Always has been. Tsunade is aware of his messy track record. He’s tried in the past to find that companionship that she once had. It was easy to see how miserable he was when he saw the people he grew up with get spouses and he couldn’t do it. She didn’t know until recently that his misery was also because of her marriage. Before he left he said a few things that pulled at her heart.

It was saying it without saying it. He wished something did happen between them, and he missed his shot. But he was learning to be okay with it. It left her stewing in longing and confusion. Her best friend as a partner... again? Honestly she should’ve counted herself lucky to have been given another chance to love like that. Instead she pushed it aside, figuring she couldn’t go through it again.

Now she sees she was the one who missed the shot. Jiraiya moved on. He has a girl. One he wants to marry. One that is having his children. So... she should be happy. Her best friend is getting everything he’s wanted. Yet it hurts. She unfolds her hands and uses one to rest her cheek in while she pushed the paper out of the way to see the other. Which was a report on you of your actions since you left the office. Some of the details she already knew.

She tried. Helping out with your appointment may have smoothed things over with Jiraiya. He wasn’t too impressed with her and her heavy suspicion. But seeing him grinning with an almost childish excitement as he held your middle was harder to bear than she thought. She got her best to do it instead, then got a report. Then got an Anbu to tail you more closely. She’s not so good at being non confrontational. That surreptitious quality is more of Jiraiya’s thing. It’s not like she can ask him to spy on you, he’d blow up at her. Anbu are better anyways. They don’t question her orders.

The details on the report is almost too much. It is unbiased, but it seemed even the wholesome affection and excitement had even made an elite close to weeping. Expecting triplets and planning to get married. It makes her blood heat and freeze back to back. The imagery of you and Jiraiya being so happy just... is irking. That should be her.

It’s almost cruel. The realization of what she could be living if she had returned his feelings two years ago. Instead she’s left on the side he has been on for so many years. It is a lonely side to be on. Then again... even now with all the hurt of seeing Jiraiya with someone, it’s hard to tell. Does she love him? Or does she miss being loved?..

Maybe there is something to keep watching. You... have to be doing something wrong. Your ability is hidden and quiet. How easy it must be to have anyone under your influence. A part of her is hoping you are doing some kind of scheme. Once she proves it everything will fall apart. Not that she wants to see Jiraiya hurt, he clearly cares about you, but something just feels wrong. Can you simulate love? It can’t be totally out of the question. He is head over heels for a woman he barely knows. That just doesn’t happen.

Men don’t change overnight. Least of all to that degree. You must be doing something to him. Tsunade scowls and scrunches up the papers. Not yet. She’s the leader here. Even if there’s but a small amount of suspicion, she shouldn’t sign these papers. Any minion of Orochimaru isn’t to be trusted. Regardless of how her friend feels about it. She threw the papers away and leaned back in her seat. Not now.

You must be controlling him. You just... have to be. You are criminal. You controlled people for self gain. You probably still are. You’re ruining her friend with your lies and manipulation. The longer this goes on the worse it’ll get.

She’ll prove it if it’s the last thing she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was kinda fun doing an ominous type of vibe for the ending. I thought it would fit considering the circumstances. Also these two are terrible at talking about their feelings. That image set of that scene of young Jiraiya talking about how he’d basically suffer in silence and do everything to make sure Tsunade was happy fucking kills me bros. It only rekindles my need to make this man happy with fanfiction. It’s why this one is pretty gushy when it comes to Jiraiya feeling better. I thought it would play nicely into Tsunade feeling what he felt and becoming envious of what she once had and what she could have had again. And hey, that was requested so *finger guns and winks* As for the triplet thing, idk I wanted to do something different since all the other aus involving kids are all single birth I thought this would add another layer to the happy family he’s always wanted theme. I hope my lovely requester enjoys some of the different takes and risks I took with this request! As always I hoped the rest of you enjoyed as well!


	69. The Red King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> King Jiraiya chose you to be his next bride. He’s a force to be reckoned with. Strong and ruthless he is. His nickname came from how he took his crown and how he runs his country. 
> 
> How will you fare as his newest fiancée? 
> 
> Will you even survive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Some forceful kissing. Some descriptions of blood and injury. Religious themes. 
> 
> The base of this world is sorta like high fantasy European style. Like lotr or fe. Have that in mind when trying to put it all together in your imagination.

For hours now you’ve banged on the door. You’ve yelled and demanded to be released. It’s only when you had finally lost your strength did something happen. The door opened. A maid entered. A few more followed her. You are scooped off of the floor and handled like a doll. Any hope for dignity is stripped from you as your clothing is taken off of you. You are dressed in an elegant dress that any little girl obsessed with princesses would have dreamed to be dressed in. But you are not a princess.

Like many who had come before you, you have been picked to be the bride of the king. Your predecessors have all disappeared under circumstances that can only lead to one conclusion. The king is cruel. One false move and you could end up like them. Missing. Erased from the castle like they never stepped foot in these halls.

“Come, my lady. You are expected to join his majesty for dinner.” One of the maids said.

Do you have a choice? You follow the woman. You are exhausted. For now the fight had fled. As you smell food, a mix of emotions fly around your body. A deep growl from your stomach. As you were taken from your home around midday. You hadn’t even had lunch. That is followed by sorrow. Your parents were nearly killed as you were taken away by the king’s guard. They begged that you be spared.

The cruelty the king is known for shone through true as he merely laughed at their pleas. He mocked them. He was truly amused at how they hated his choice to take you. They thought it was for a job. While they embellished a few of your qualities, they did say truths about you. They wanted to boast about their proud family in front of the king. How were they supposed to know it was because the king had fancied you to be his next fiancée?

Next to come was fear.

King Jiraiya has a terrifying reputation. The tales of his hardships are now well known. He spoke of them when he took the throne. He wasn’t born into the luxuries of royalty. He was a bastard. A royal the family would rather forget about since he was born under sinful circumstances. His mother merely a maid one of the king’s brothers decided to have an affair with. His mother was dumped to a small village and left to raise her child by herself where both her and her son could be easily put out of mind. And they did forget about him.

That was until five years ago. It was a the scariest part of history to live through. When a man decides he’s better at running a kingdom more than his relatives. He’s a skilled fighter. So many soldiers fell. So did the king. That was soon followed by the king’s sons.

The kingdom didn’t fall into ruin as one would expect from a coup d’état. His highness was in many ways correct in how he could improve the kingdom. Despite the blood stained throne, the people didn’t suffer. Maybe that’s what frustrated people. Jiraiya is very good at leading. He retook control of his kingdom. The clergy was making major decisions when his uncle merely wore the crown and directed whatever “the gods” had ordered. It only seemed to benefit them overall rather than the kingdom as a whole. In a way Jiraiya was doing better as a leader. He did what would benefit everyone. From the poor to the rich, all was considered in each move he made.

He’s also ruthless. The soldiers still loyal to the old king tried so many times to overthrow Jiraiya as he had overthrown them. He slaughtered them. Any one showing signs of revolution died swiftly. Even to this day after this many years there are people still attempting to assassinate him or storm the castle. They never succeed. He’s not foolish enough to let them live when they try. Perhaps that’s why his wives didn’t last long. They rebelled against the tyrant that had no mercy.

As one would expect a king to have, his table is large for many guests. It’s carved out of redwood and ornately so. He’s sat at the head casually. He’s wearing a simple green robe that was tied lazily. It showed off a large part of his chest and abdomen. He’s leaned back in his large chair with his feet on the table. He’s seemingly distracted by his wine glass, which is holding a red liquid that he’s slowly swirling around and staring at.

“Sit.” He commands, gesturing with his glass to the chair to his left.

You don’t move for a moment. It’s weird being so close to him. To a man that gave off power. One that stole your away without your permission. One that will most certainly kill you if you don’t follow exactly what he says. He looks up from his glass.

“Now.”

You walk slowly. Not to annoy him... Okay maybe a little. But in all fairness your legs didn’t want to move faster than a cautious tiptoe. You take a seat to the left of your king, unsure what to do.

“Wine?” He asks.

You aren’t sure. Getting even a little bit drunk around him sounded like a terrible idea. What would he do? What won’t he do? Can you even refuse? Would he consider taking your head if you answer a simple question and he didn’t like it?

“I’m not going to poison you.”

This is the closest you’ve been to him. What is there to say? At least he’s handsome? Fair in skin. He’s tall with strong manly features. Like a squared jaw and straight pointed nose. A smile that could sell the most blatant of lies and black coloured eyes that are deceptively kind looking, but lack the warmth of a true love. Like all of those related to the royal bloodline of this kingdom, he has red markings. His are a set of matching red lines that ran down from his eyes to his jaw, almost like tear tracks. They are simple compared to his once living kin.

All of this is framed with long white hair that is as unruly as his conduct. He’s fit. You know he’s strong. You haven’t seen him in battle but it is easy to see how he overwhelmed his kin. From what little detail is known of his past, Jiraiya grew up with little of the luxuries his more noble cousins grew up with. He has an edge that most nobles don’t. A drive for survival. It’s no wonder so many fell at his feet. He had actual experience. None of his family did.

“What about food? You must be hungry.”

You look at him. He simply smiles before snapping his fingers. A second later, servants with platters of food are entering the dining room. They are set down on the table in no particular order. Once the lids to the platters are lifted, it revealed the most amount of food you have ever seen. Fine dining foods like roast and all the trimmings only those of high status can afford.

“I didn’t get a chance to hear what you like, so I asked my chef to make us something with choices.” The king said. “Go ahead. You are welcome to the comforts royalty brings.”

A plate is set in front of you. It is empty. It’s awaiting for you to serve yourself. Your host has already began to pick out what he likes. Now sitting properly in his chair, the king is picking out the things he wants to eat. He’s not as glutinous as one would think a king would be. He doesn’t eat like a rude noble either. The few you have been in the company in eat like pigs. King Jiraiya eats with some manners, even though he owed no one the privilege.

“Do you enjoy it?”

You nod. While this all feels so strange and sorrowful, you do need to eat and kings have good food.

“Come now. Won’t you speak to me?” The king asks with a smile. He propped his elbow on the table and rested his head in hand. “I know you have a voice. I’ve heard it yelling all kinds of demands for hours.”

“Sorry, your highness.” You murmur. “I don’t have much to say to you.”

“Is that so? Why would that be?”

You look at him. Perhaps your expression is too free. He looks at your face slowly. Then he laughs.

“You’re mad at me.” He came to the right conclusion. “I suppose I can understand why.”

He stands. You watch as he makes his way slowly towards you. The tips of his fingers are dragging along the table.

“My poor betrothed. Taken from her home.” His tone is soft but full of mockery. You stare at your plate once he made it to behind your chair. “Torn from her family.” His lips tickle your ear. “And given everything she could ever want. Food, fine clothing. The riches of my family. She’s even living in the most secure building in all the land. Right beside the man who holds all the power. Yet she is ungrateful for all these gifts simply because she didn’t want them.”

“I don’t want them.” You hiss.

“Oh I know. You are no different from the wives I had before. They were all so reluctant to be apart of the monarchy and assure that my line will last another generation.”

“Is that all you want?” You ask. “A woman to have your child?”

“It’s not like I have anyone else to pass the crown too. I took the lives of those too close to taking the throne. In all honesty my line is close to dying out.”

For the first time he touches you. His hands land heavy on your shoulders.

“The best part about all of this is my right as king to pick any woman I want to be my queen. It doesn’t really matter what you think. You are mine.”

He does have that right, doesn’t he? As king he can have whatever he wishes. It’s only because he’s got an even temper and intelligence that this country is doing as well as it is. In many ways he’s improved life here. In other ways he’s not. He’s holding onto the rights that suit to his favour while dismissing those that don’t.

“Why me?” You ask. There’s not much else to ask. He’s made himself quite clear on all other aspects.

“Why not you? Beautiful. Smart. Opinionated. That makes for a good queen.” He pauses. His thumbs rub circles into your shoulders. “Although I’m wondering if you have been talked up too much. You seem no different than the little mice I made the mistake of marrying before.”

“I’m nothing like the women you have stolen before.”

“Prove it.”

What a jerk! You scoot your chair back far and hard enough to force him to stagger. You stand and turn sharply away. His laughter echoes around the hall. It’s loud. Almost annoyingly so. It drums in your ears with its mocking tone. You pick up your skirts for a quicker get away. With your larger strides you return to your room in record time. It would be more pleasant to rot in this room than play that man’s game.

You dismissed the maids and got yourself out of this stupid dress. Once down to your shift, you collapse into bed. It was hard to get sleep since you were fuming with anger at the king’s attitude. Eventually you drift off, but your neck seemed to tingle with the memory of his lips near it and the heat from his hands laying heavy on your shoulders. They haunted you as you laid in bed. Although you aren’t sure why your body refused to forget his first touch.

In the morning, you went through the same routine as the night before. Only this time you didn’t pound on the door for hours or scream. Maids came in with a dress, helped you change, and you were escorted by them to where the king wanted you to go. This time you ate a quiet meal by yourself before being lead away. It is somewhat nice it have an escort. This castle is so big it’s hard to know what leads where. It’s all hallways that seem to go to even more hallways.

This time his highness met you in the gardens that are behind the confusing structure. Like any garden belonging to a noble, it is well tended. The grass is lush and cut short. Hedges are cut in symmetrical rectangles. The flowerbeds are in organized rows by colour. All of them are roses. Red. White. Green. Black. They resemble their king well.

There’s a large section in the centre of the spacious yard that is laid with stone. That stone is flat and even like a well laid road, but clean and in a decorative pattern. The pattern is that of the crest of the royal family, which is a rose. The colours of the flowers are that of the royal favourites. The flowerbed of organized roses are around the edge of this circle, except for the paths marked in stone that led to the other parts of the garden. With Jiraiya standing dead centre of the stonework, it looks like the roses are awaiting his order.

He turns to face you once he hears your approach. Today he’s dressed more like a king. A green tunic that is fine cut and embroidered around the edges in silver thread. A white undershirt with long sleeves. Dark gray trousers with black boots that are stamped with a pattern similar to the embroidery. A red floor length cape completes his look, with the top folded around his shoulders and pinned together by a silver broach, which is shaped like the royal crest, at his right breast. Rather simple for a king. In fact most nobles that live in the castle town dress more fancy than this on the daily. It’s still regal, but not as decorated as one would expect a king to be dressed as. He has on no fine crafted jewelry or precious gemstones weaved into the embroidery. He’s not even wearing his crown.

“Welcome to the gardens! Pretty, right?” Jiraiya announced as he gestured to the area around him.

“Yes, they are.” You say curtly. As much as a jerk as he is, you do have to compliment his staff’s work on the yard.

“This is where we’ll get married.”

“...”

“In two days, you’ll be here.” He continued. He pointed to a spot that was at the top of the stone circle. There’s an archway made of white wooden lattice. More wild vines of roses are woven and grown into it. It would make for a good place to be wed. “And I’ll be beside you. The priest will marry us in the evening and by nightfall we will have a party to celebrate.”

“Who would come to this party?”

“Lords and ladies to witness the union.”

“...”

Great, an evening of playing nice. While you don’t like him, behaving poorly would reflect badly on the nation. Refusing to dance or speak to him won’t do any good. Jiraiya most likely won’t stand for it. Any sight of weakness in front of powerful people is something he wouldn’t like. It could lead to your beheading.

Then of course there’s the wedding night. A time where your mother said your virtue is to be given to your husband. She explained it in a way that sounded scary. Maybe that’s how his wives went missing. After a night with him, they... sigh. He just doesn’t seem like the gentle type.

“Are you afraid?”

You snap your attention to the king. His expression is coy. With a smile you are tempted to smack off.

“No.” You snap. “I’m not afraid of anything. Least of all you, my lord.”

“Good.” He said before offering you his hand. “Come on. Allow me the privilege of showing you around.”

You don’t move or take his hand. You stare at him. A good part of you, perhaps your self preservation, is telling you not to.

“I don’t bite.” He promises. “I want to show you what will soon be your castle too.”

What choice do you have? Not much aside from running away or taking his offer. Even if you did run, he would catch you. You take his hand and he links your arm around his as he began to escort you.

Your fingers and arm tingle. It’s like his touch is make of static. You don’t pay much attention to his tour. He didn’t take you back inside. He led you around the rest of the garden. There’s a pond. It’s nice looking. Small and not too deep. With lily pads and a couple of frogs perched on them. They sang a few notes to each other at the approach of humans, but didn’t leave their beds. There’s a large tree beside the pond that is providing them shade. The bright red small fruits dotting the branches plainly gave away what it was. A cherry tree.

His majesty reached up and plucked one. He inspected it. Then turned towards you, holding it out.

“Do you like cherries?” He asks.

“I do.”

With a side of caution, you take the berry from him. A king giving you something? Odd. But he’s wholly weird as a monarch. These flashes of humble must be left over from his simple upbringings. He’s been all too eager to indulge in the finer things nobility brings. You watch him as you bite the fruit from its stem. You accidentally bite the pit. You spit it out to avoid any choking.

Swifter than a cat, Jiraiya caught your chin. He had his hand around your jaw with his fingers digging into spots that ache. It kept your lips pursed. Before you could ask, he pressed his lips against yours. It’s rough. Your breath is stolen by it. Your first kiss ever and it’s... hard. Nothing like any dream a young maiden would fantasize about. You grip his arm tightly as he pulled you closer. His tongue ran along your teeth. Panic began to rise in you as he poked and prodded, looking for any gap he can wiggle his way through.

Your brain is screaming for a solution. He has to stop! He dug his fingers into the hinge of your jaw harder. You part your teeth. His tongue violated your mouth.

Bite!

You clamp your teeth to catch his tongue. The taste of blood floods your mouth, overtaking the pleasant taste of cherry. Jiraiya froze. He turned lax enough for you to pull away. You managed to put the king into a state of stunned surprise. You push him, too angry to be composed. The grand king stumbled and fell directly into the pond.

You turn and run back inside. You don’t know where you’re going. You make blind turns. You don’t know where anything is. Stupid castle! Where is the damned door!? It’s a big stupid wooden arch! Why is it suddenly invisible?!

Your foot got caught on your skirt. You fell forward on your face. Pain stings your hands, knees, and chin. The stone you fell on was far from soft. Your splat to the ground echoed. You look around to see what room you are in.

It’s the throne room. To your right not so far away are two chairs upon a platform. The chairs themselves are wood, carved with the expert hand of a craftsman, and white in colour. Except for the old splash of red on the king’s throne. It’s a spatter from when Jiraiya oh so swiftly cut down his uncle. The rest of the blood has been washed away from this room except for the splatter on the chair. The white throne is no longer white. It seems he liked that poetic expression of his reign.

The queen’s chair beside it isn’t touched. It hasn’t been for a while. The crown meant for the woman in question sits on the black cushion of her empty throne.

“Well.”

You jump as Jiraiya’s voice resounds around the room. You turn to see he’s behind you. He’s soaked. Pond water is dripping off his clothes. A thin stream of blood is running from the corner of his mouth to his chin. He doesn’t look mad. He looks amused.

“You are feisty.” He said with a calmness that sent chills up your spine. It didn’t come off genuine. It’s the type of calm before a great storm. He made his way towards you, wiping his face free of blood. “I think I’m in love.”

He picked you off of the ground, hauling you up by your arm. You remain limp. This is it. Your blood is going to be on that throne. You bit and pushed the king. No one will live past that. He’s killed people for less.

A whine leaves your throat when you are tossed. You land clumsily in the red stained throne. You thunk against the wood and it didn’t break your fall gently. It flared up the aches you gained from tripping. Jiraiya blocked you in, placing himself in front of you with his hands on the arm rests of the throne. He invaded your personal space again with another kiss.

He tastes like blood. His hand violates you more, gripping your thigh. Your achy hands have an iron grip on his wet shirt. So much of you wishes to bite him again. No man has the right to behave like this to a lady, king or not!

Yet this kiss has you. It’s like hugging fire and enjoying it. It’s hot. Almost too hot to bear. Despite the heat almost blistering your skin you don’t want to step away. The warmth and liveliness of the flames are too mesmerizing to leave.

He broke the kiss, leaving you breathless and confused. This isn’t the reaction you expected. Surely you have signed your death certificate when you bit him. Unless he’s into that. He seems to be. His smile is tinged with a thin film of red from his bloody tongue. He must of seen your confusion. He’s enjoying it, but he takes the time to explain why he’s so bemused by your outburst.

“You are safe from my wrath, my dear. Like I told you before, I need a worthy strong woman to be by my side.”

Worthy? Strong? Is that how he sees you? It makes your head spin. This man is so confusing to be around.

He steps back, freeing you of his suffocating presence. You slowly stand, your legs feeling like jelly.

“You should retire to your room. You don’t look well.” Jiraiya suggests. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

You simply nod before taking a few steps. You stop with a realization.

“I don’t know the way.”

“Is that so?...” He paused. His hands rest on your hips and his warm body pressed against your back. “My room is closer. You can retire there if you don’t have the strength to make it to yours.”

“Will you be there?”

“No, unfortunately. I have duties to attend to.”

Surprisingly, you are disappointed. After an ordeal like this, wouldn’t it make sense to be relieved or freighted? But you aren’t. He won’t hurt you. He likes you.

He gently pushes you along, leading you to his room. You don’t fight. A few hours alone to gather your thoughts sounds good. He opened the door and your eyes land on the largest thing in the room, the bed. Like everything else he owns, it’s ostentatious in presentation. Wooden, carved with vine like designs. A large canopy bed that has silky red drapery and sheets. He guided you to the bed and had you sit down.

The king left you a moment later. He casted you a look before shutting the door behind him. It’s hard to say what he meant by it. It’s amused. It’s affectionate. It leaves you with a wash of heat over your body. You flopped down onto your back. The soft sheets embrace you. The events had exhausted you. A man kissing you. Touching you. Making you angry and flustered. Getting you feeling... strange about him. You are mad at him, but you want him near you. Somehow his brash bold infuriating presence has you wanting more...

The smell of food rouses you. You must have drifted off. When you open your eyes, a familiar man is beside you. You are eye level with his chest. You look up to meet Jiraiya’s face. He’s laid provocative on his bed. On his side facing you with his green robe the only thing on. It’s showing more than you should see before you are married. A silver platter full of food is the only thing separating you from him. It’s full of fruit, cheese, and bread. He pops a cherry into his mouth and smiles at you.

“How was your nap, are you feeling better?” Jiraiya asks you sweetly.

“Yes... thanks.”

“I figured since your health isn’t in the best shape, I brought dinner to you.”

“My health is fine.”

“I beg to differ.”

You scowl at him. Jerk. Why must he goad you on? He seems to take joy in annoying you. Your fall earlier had hardly left a bruise. His kisses and behaviour stung more than the fall. You roll to a comfortable position that mirrored his pose. You look over the food again with careful consideration before picking out what looks best. The finer delicacies grace your pallet as you pick off of the platter. Some of the cheeses are too fancy for peasants to afford. Never in your life would you have imagined you’d get to enjoy things like this.

“Wine?” He offers.

“That would be nice.”

He rolls around to the side table by the bed. A moment later he’s back holding a pair of glasses and a bottle. He does the honour of pouring you a glass then his own. You cheer your glass to his when he held it towards you with that expectation.

It’s good wine. Fruity with a heavy hint on cherry. Perhaps it’s made with the cherries in the castle. You drink with him. If you can get away with biting him, he won’t poison your wine. It’s not long until the bottle is empty and the platter cleared. Jiraiya swept the ware off of the bed and crawled over top of you.

The sweet taste of cherry wine meets your lips as he kisses you. You hold onto the back of his head, running your fingers through his wild white hair. It’s soft despite how spiky it looks. Those touches that burn and tingle are all over you again.

Your skirt is pushed up and his hands touch your bare legs. The modest values you have grown with are dissolving around you. It’s expected of both men and women to wait until marriage to do such acts. He’s been married before. He knows what he’s doing. You don’t. Butterflies are flying around your belly as a man touches you so intimately.

His fingers touch places that send shivers up your spine. It’s hard not to clamp up. Your legs are squeezing his hand as he strokes and plays with your sex. Your hitched cries are muffled by his mouth. This time when his tongue joined yours, you welcomed it.

Your body is filled and overwhelmed with a feeling you’ve never felt before. Like the tension of a good stretch in your core and legs. When you tensed, Jiraiya only worked harder. He picked up his pace on fingering you, pushing and curling his fingers into places that sent waves over you.

“Gah!” Your force the kiss to break to cry out.

He sucked in a breath. Your eyes connected with his and he watched you with great focus as you become undone from his touch.

It takes some time to come down from such a high. Jiraiya lays pressed against you, panting and rubbing your thigh. As you relax, he places kisses on the side of your neck.

“Did you enjoy that?” He whispers in your ear, nipping the lobe right after.

“Yes... that was... great.”

“Glad to hear it.”

He laid your skirt back down your legs and rested his hand on your hip. He was content to be beside you. You may not know a lot about this, but is the deed truly done? Isn’t he wanting something.

“What about you?” You ask.

“Me?” He huffs a laugh. “I’m fine. I’m waiting till our union for that sort of fun.”

“Right.”

“Unless my betrothed has become impatient enough to live in sin.”

You glower at him and consider hitting that smug grin off of him. Infuriating man. Must he tease you? He laughs as you glare at him. It’s a nice laugh. It would be better if he wasn’t using something that sounded so good at your expense.

His highness’ amused laughs die down and finish with a kiss to your lips. Afterwards he got up and blew out the candles that lit the room. With the darkness of night now dampening your sight, you slip under the covers and he rejoins you at your side quickly. He’s rather warm. Sleeping beside a man for the first time was surprisingly easy.

The next day was spent getting wedding preparations swiftly done. Jiraiya has insisted you don’t have to be involved more than you have to. He was orchestrating most of it. There’s not much to choose anyways. It is a royal wedding. The colours are that of the royal family. The decorations are ones that have been used in royal weddings before. The only thing that’s original is your dress.

You don’t mind it. It could be worse. It’s not ghastly like some royal fashion, where there’s too much. It’s not simple either. It has details that are suited for a queen to be. Floor length as all proper dresses are. With long sleeves cut like wings that brush the floor as well. It’s white, but had accents of the royal colours. With shimmery beads in black, red, jade, and pearl on the bodice. At first glance it looked random in its placements, but upon closer look and connecting the dots the beads make it is in fact in the pattern of the royal crest.

“Nice.” Jiraiya announces his presence with a single word.

You turn from the mirror to where he is standing. The seamstress adjusting your gown bowed and took a step back when he approached. The king walked around you, inspecting you and the dress carefully.

“Very nice. You look gorgeous.”

“Isn’t it bad luck to see your bride in her dress?”

“Not when I’m paying for something beautiful to be made.” He retorts coolly. He looks over at the woman who stitched your dress together. “You’ve done well.”

The seamstress smiles and thanks him with another bow. He paid her no more mind. His focus is on you. His wife to be. Such a promising young woman you are. You look perfect in that dress.

“Soon, my dear.” He said as he took your hand. “You’ll be mine for the rest of our lives.”

“Will I really?”

“What?”

Is it rude to ask? Will he kill you for such a question? He hadn’t yet and you pushed him into water yesterday. Surely you can speak your mind.

“What if I do what your other wives had?”

His smile drops. He doesn’t say anything for a while.

“My previous wives didn’t disappoint me.” He answered. “They were set free. They weren’t suited for the role I put them in and miserable trying. So I let them go with enough money to get by and... persuaded to stay quiet of their past.”

It’s better than thought. King Jiraiya has been so mercilessly in his ruling it wouldn’t be a surprise if he had his old wives put to death. Even if he did let them go, there’s a lingering threat. Persuaded to stay quiet.

Or maybe he’s just lying to you. He’s not one to leave loose ends. Look what it did to his uncle and cousins.

“What if I disappoint you?” You ask quietly.

“Impossible.” He replies. His smile returned. It’s gentler. “A woman as wonderful as you could never disappoint me.”

The king bent forward and placed a kiss on your knuckles. His dark eyes casted up at you. They’ve always been sharp with danger, but now they’re soft with affection. The calculations and critical thinking he does with those he doesn’t trust isn’t present when looking at you. You turn your hand so that it caresses his face. His cheek is soft.

“Come darling, get out of that dress and meet me in the gardens. Our stage is almost set.” With those last words he left.

With the aid of the seamstress you undress out of your wedding gown and get dressed in the gown you had on before. The castle isn’t so confusing anymore. You make your way to the gardens without the need for escorts.

It has changed in appearance. With chairs dressed with white bows in rows facing the arch in the garden. Ribbons of the royal colours are weaved in the arch. Banners of the royal crest are flying high on poles on either side of it. A pedestal is set to the side, on the side Jiraiya will stand by you, with an empty space. It’s for your crown. While the priest has the only high power to crown a royal, it is tradition for the one being married into the crown to be first taken by the priest then the monarch to crown their spouse as a sign of unity among them.

“Do you think it’s missing anything?” Jiraiya asks.

“No. This will do.”

“You don’t sound that enthused. Is something bothering you?”

You shake your head. The ceremony looks as intimate as it can be. It’s the crowd of nobles that will be gawking that is irksome. Then you have to deal with a whole evening of dealing with the highest most entitled people in the kingdom. Without a doubt you’ll be speaking to people who will test and judge you all night. Not just you, but your husband to be. And while they’ll be careful to not utter a word of ill will to him, that won’t be applied to you.

“I suppose I’m not one for noble company.” You sigh. “I don’t like high bloods.”

“Like me?” He asked.

“No, you’re different. You weren’t born into all that privilege. They are and they can be quite insufferable.”

A burst of Jiraiya’s loud laughter filled the area. He braces his chest as he laughs with his whole body. You flush and frown at him.

“What’s so funny?” You demand to know why he’s bursting at the seams.

“I couldn’t agree more! They are quite snooty, aren’t they?” He replies once he’s over his fit. “There’s nothing more dreadful than a night in lordly company!”

A smile does crack your face. At least there are things you and him can agree on. Jiraiya pulls you against his body and held you in a lazy imitation of a waltz. You hold onto him in the same way as you stare into his obsidian eyes.

“You know, technically all we need is these nobles to witness the union. There’s nothing in our customs that say we must host a party.” He says with a scheming smile. “How about we spend our reception by ourselves? All that food can be given to our staff and we can spend it as newlyweds should, together!”

“That sounds wonderful, my king.”

“Please, we’re past that now. Call me by my name.”

“As you wish, Jiraiya.”

His smile grows before he leans in to give you a kiss. You melt into it. The rest of your day with him is spent very similar to the last. Only with less falling into water and more of his golden touch.

The day of, your fiancé was uncharacteristically scarce. Which only served to rise your anxieties. In all plainness, how do you feel about your king now? In the days you’ve been in this castle, your views have been changed. To you, Jiraiya is quite sweet. He’s also a real royal jerk. Each unsavoury thing he’s said to you has been a test of sorts. It feels like you passed them. You are woman worthy of not just the throne, but his companionship. Perhaps even his love.

Do you love him?

Hard to say. You’re attracted to him. There’s not much to complain about with his looks. His bouts of being infuriating is weirdly charming. You care about what he thinks even if he does drive you crazy. He’s not that much of a tyrant as he parades himself to be. Not to you anyways.

A maid fetched you and kindly asked that you go to the dinning hall. It’s already close to noon. It’s an odd time to meet. Perhaps Jiraiya had something to tell you that cannot wait. You enter the hall.

A familiar voice cried your name. Your mother is running towards you across the hall. You meet her part way into a tight hug. Your father joined a moment later. The tears you had put off come back with a vengeance. You hold your parents hugs that you have missed greatly.

“Are you hurt?” Your mother asks. She took a good look at you. “Has his highness been treating you well?”

“I’m fine, mom. There’s nothing to fear.” You assure her.

She continues to fret over you. She’s convinced that Jiraiya has harmed you in some way. Same goes for your father. He’s being too forward with his harsh criticisms of the king. Your father is implying that you find away to run away or make yourself undesirable to Jiraiya.

“That will do no good, papa. There’s nothing Jiraiya can’t do.” You reply. “He’d do anything to get me back... and I don’t fancy leaving.”

They were surprised. They figured you would be more resistant and unhappy here. You aren’t unhappy. You will live a good life at the side of the king.

“I’ll be fine.” You say softly. “Please, trust that I am happy here.”

Your betrothed entered the room... or did he make himself known? It wouldn’t be a surprise if he was listening in. Your family turned silent and fearful in his presence. Even more so as he approached.

“Come, my dear. It’s time you started getting ready.” Jiraiya said. “We won’t be seeing one another again until the ceremony.” He paused to grab and kiss your hand. “I look forward to how radiant you’ll be.”

His eyes flash to your family. The affections he holds for you isn’t present when he looks at them. He’s cautious around them. It’s probably that mistrust of people that ensured he stayed alive.

You leave... but pause at the door. You hide on the other side and eavesdrop. Just what does he plan on saying to them?

“I know I must be someone you don’t like.” He spoke in a firm unfriendly voice. It’s guarded and hid his emotions. It almost didn’t sound like him. He’s never spoken to you like that. “But I realize I owe you a few things. An apology for my previous conduct and a gift for your daughter’s hand. Name what you want and I will give it to you.”

“I want my daughter back!” Your hotheaded father demanded.

“That I cannot give you. She’s mine now and the queen to my kingdom.”

“You are a king to nothing! You are a bastard who took what he wanted!”

“Darling!” Your mother shouted in an attempt to hush your father.

A heavy quiet fell in the hall. There’s a weight to Jiraiya’s silence. His word is law. One does not insult the king. Your father just broke it with those harsh words.... People have died for less.

“Very well.” Jiraiya said after a moment. “I know you are upset with me and wedding your daughter. I do not want our ceremony disturbed. I hereby banish you from the castle. You cannot see her until I deem your banishment lifted. Leave now. Before I make you.”

Footsteps approach the door. Your family remains quiet, most likely out of shock. Fearful of being caught, you run. You hike up your skirts and book it to your room. Your maids were there to meet you. They led you to the bathroom where a bath was waiting.

It’s hard to enjoy a warm bath after witnessing Jiraiya’s coldness. His treatment of you had made you less aware of what he’s really capable of. He is still a man who killed many to achieve his goals. It’s by some grace of the gods that the king who sits on the bloodstained throne only banished your family from entering the castle.

It’s sad. Your brief reunion with your family wasn’t enough. Now you may never see them again. Yet you are relieved that they were spared from the harsh wrath of the king. Maybe you will see them again one day. Jiraiya does listen to you. Perhaps you can convince him to lift the ban sooner than later.

“It’s your wedding day, my lady.” Your maid said. “Please don’t look so down.”

She does have a point. There’s nothing you can do about your family’s banishment. The best way to look at it is that you got to see them on a day that is supposed to include them. You may see them again.

Your bath ends with you feeling better. A soft sent of roses is on your skin. Something must have been put in the water to fragrant you. It’s pleasant. It’s now time to wear your finely crafted gown, which fits perfectly. Your hair was done too. Nothing elaborate. Whatever fringe laid by your face was pulled to the back of your head. It was braided back to keep it in place. It must be kept simple, a crown will be set on your head and that is fancy enough.

It doesn’t quite feel the same. When you imagined that you would be wed, your father would give you away. He might have if he hadn’t insulted the king. Instead you approach the gardens by yourself. A band of strings began to play. The chatter of the crowd began to quiet. The warm light of sunset is framed by the hedges, trees, and high walls. First you are greeted with the sight of nobles standing and turned towards you. Their faces a mix of things, hardly any of them happy.

Your eye follows the walkway the chairs make to the arch. There awaiting under it is your king. For the first time since you entered the castle Jiraiya is dressed as one. The simple tunic, trousers, boots, and cape are swapped for something more refined. The colours are more saturated and more true to the royal colours. The embroidery is more elaborate. Instead of the simple lace like designs, it is more like vines and roses.

His crown is similarly decorated. With delicately forged silver weaved like vines with thorns. The impressions of roses are evenly spaced out between sections of the metal vines. They are flat pieces of black dyed metal plates pressed into the floral shape and smithed to the crown seamlessly. Atop them are tiered spikes that point to the heavens. Imbedded from middle of the roses to the top tier are small gems in the colours of the royal family spaced out with precision symmetry and even spacing. They are in the order from lightest to dark.

With a smile, Jiraiya reached his hand out to you like he wanted you to take it. You return his smile the best you can and walk the aisle. You take his hand and the priest invited the guests to sit.

“Are you well?” Jiraiya asks. “You’re quiet.”

“I’m fine.” You assure with a smile. “A bit nervous, I suppose.”

“Aren’t all brides? Everything will be fine.”

“Yeah, I’m sure they will be.”

His brows furrow for a moment. He’s not quite sure what you mean.

“If you are ready, your majesty, can we proceed?” The holy man asked.

“Of course. I don’t like prolonging things, you know that.”

The priest is aware. So is the rest of the church. Even those sworn to the gods weren’t safe from Jiraiya. He killed the old high priest who deemed him unworthy of the throne. Needless to say the replacement was much more willing to crown him.

Your vows are different than what’s normal. You must vow to aid your people when in need. To offer up a certain amount of yourself to the people that make up the kingdom. Then you had to vow to love his majesty. You vow to do these things. Whether or not you mean all of them is hard to say.

The crown you must wear is passed from priest to king. Being so close to it now the fine details of is easier to focus on. It’s of a similar design to the king’s. Silver with the ring of the crown like woven vines. There’s smaller roses on this crown, with each individual petal smithed by a careful hand and the metal dyed into the red that matches the red used in all royal decorations. Set in the middle of the flowers are very small gems that just manage to catch the light. They shine with a soft pearlescent glow. The crown too has spears above the roses, but they are much shorter than its companion and set with only one stone per spike, black ones that glitter.

You lower down to a curtsy with head tilted just enough. Jiraiya crowns you as his queen. He placed his hand under your chin right after. He lightly pushed on it to coax you back to your natural posture. He shifted his hand to caress your cheek.

“That crown is complete with you wearing it.”

“Thank you, Jiraiya.”

He was invited to kiss the bride and he accepted gleefully. He pulled you close and caught your lips in a passionate kiss. More passionate than what should be witnessed by public... You are married to the king. You are a queen.

The guests were asked to pay their respects and be on their way. It was still time wasted curtsying and thanking people you don’t know or care about. But they care about you. They really care about Jiraiya. They were sure to express their wholehearted congratulations and give plenty of mention to what gifts they brought. But even you know that the king isn’t so easily bought. A lovely dress or fine jewelry isn’t going to stay the king’s hand for judging punishment if they make a mistake in the future.

The band began to play again. Soft slow music fills the calm air of night. Candles were lit up by the silent swift hands of maids and butlers. The long large table set to the side was slowly filled with a feast fit for an army.

“Come on, one dance before dinner?” Jiraiya asks, motioning towards the now cleared stone.

“I’d like that.”

He escorts you to the centre of the makeshift dance floor and led you in a waltz. He’s a good dancer. Any king is expected to be. Any misstep your feet would make are cured by his swift reflexes. You stare at him, your eyes locked with his. The affection he’s looking at you with is as potent and sweet as the cherry wine being served.

“Something is on your mind.” He states it like he’s able to read your thoughts and already knows what you are thinking about. Maybe he does.

“Yes. There is.” You pause. You close the distance and give him a kiss. “I wanted to thank you for sparing my family.”

His face changed to surprise. It seemed he didn’t know where your mind was at. He recovered gracefully and smiled again.

“You heard that?”

“Yes... I’m sorry my father lashed out at you. He only did so because he’s convinced of something untrue.”

“I know. I’m sure one day you’ll be reunited with him, but not when he disrespects me in my home.”

You nod. Perhaps your expression fell too much. Jiraiya exhaled a small laugh through his nose before kissing you. He picked you up and span you around in a circle before placing you on your feet again.

“Don’t look so sad, my dear! It’s our wedding day.”

“Sorry. You’re right.”

You push aside your sorrow to focus on other things. You spend an evening in happiness. You dance. You ate. You drank. You had a husband who didn’t let you go. He smiled at his staff and invited them to celebrate as well. They were surprised, but were just as happy to enjoy in the fruits of their labour.

The party lasted almost until dawn. Celebrating mostly with just Jiraiya was great fun. It’s much better than any large party would have been. Apparently you had fallen asleep at one point. You remember stumbling around with your husband into the castle but not actually making it back to the bedroom. The idea of Jiraiya carrying you is both amusing and sweet. He even tucked you in. The lack of birds singing and heat soaking into the castle would clearly indicate its late afternoon.

Your field of vision was cut off. No longer were you staring at the canopy of the bed but rather the man you married. His hand on your hip and body pressed against you.

“Good day, my queen. Did you sleep well?”

“Very well. How about you, my king?”

“Wonderful.” He leaned down and kissed you. “So perfectly...” He stopped again for another kiss. His hand wanders to your leg. His fingers dance and stroke your thigh. “I think we must make up for what we missed out on. The wedding night is an important part of this whole tradition thing.”

“Really? Is that the most important part?”

“To some. You included. I’m surprised you managed to keep your composure.” He squeezes your thigh. “You’ve been so eager the nights leading up to it.”

“Jiraiya! Don’t be so crude!”

“Heh heh... Sorry, my love.”

You pout at him before he devoured your lips in hungry kisses. He hikes up your skirt and touches your eager skin. For the first time you got to see the body of a man... your man. For the first time a man saw your body. All the things that came with that were as wonderful as how he touched you before, but to the extremes that not even the gods know such pleasures. His fiery touch tingled your sides and thighs. His lips left a trail from neck to pelvis. You held onto anything and everything when he finally took you. Him. The bed. The drapes of the canopy. The only thing you could think to say in the throes of passion was his name... occasionally his title slipped out instead. That only seemed to turn him on more.

As king and queen, there is no opportunity for a honeymoon. Jiraiya would never leave his throne even if it is to have fun. He worked too hard for it. The next best thing was spending days with him in the bed you now share with him. If all that time didn’t secure his line, it will soon. That future will come no matter what. But for now it’s time to enjoy the present and all the good things it is bringing you.

You sit on the throne beside Jiraiya’s. Your crown on your head. You are dressed in a gown of black and red to match the themes of your new royal status. Jiraiya is dressed similarly in colour scheme with the same cut of clothing he normally wears along with his crown. The main difference being his cape, which is the most kingly thing he’s worn in your presence. It is blacker than a starless sky and trimmed with white fur. It’s laid out from his back to drape over the arm rests of his throne and cascading out like a black pool under his feet. He sits rather improperly in his throne. With bad posture that is always slumped in someway. The space between the thrones was small enough for your husband to reach over and hold your hand.

You look over at him, watching how he behaves. It’s very different from how he treats you in private. It’s more aloof, yet still held a heavy presence. There is no doubt that he owns this place. This is his throne in his castle. One should not forget that no matter how casual he appears to sit or speak.

A playful smile is on the king’s lips as he looks at the peasant grovelling before him as they ask a favour. Their neighbour is a nobleman who keeps farming and taking more of their land. While such a request is not usually a king’s problem, this particular peasant farmer is one of the main providers of wine making and export. While not exactly poor nor rich, this farmer is still apart of an influential part of the economy. The noble they are feuding with is apart of the king’s inner circle. In fact that noble attended your wedding. An old important family that had stood behind Jiraiya when he was first crowned. They’ve been in his favour ever since for their support. Perhaps the power has finally gone to their heads. They seem to be forgetting that their king is just as swift to take power as he is to give it.

“What do you think, darling?” Jiraiya asks. He turns his head towards you and smiles.

“Of the dispute?”

“Yes. Who do I side with?”

You stare at him in confusion. The answer seems obvious. Why would he include you in such an easy choice?

Then it hits you. Your stare changes to reflect that. He’s testing you. In response his smile turned more pleased than amused. You have yet to prove to Jiraiya that you can lead. You aren’t out of the woods yet.

There are more trials you must endure. The lingering questions you hadn’t thought upon dangle in the forefront of your mind. What if you do end up being the first to disappoint him? What happens then? You’ve grown fond of him and he’s fond of you. But he has yet to determine if you are good enough to be a queen.

You swallow down the lump in your throat. You must steel yourself. You are the white queen to the red king. It’s time to show exactly why he chose you. You stare at the peasant in the same fashion as Jiraiya had. A reassuring squeeze to your hand tells you to say what you are thinking. You part your lips and make a decision.

You can only hope it is the right one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: fixed some words and phrases. Added a couple of small details that I think make it flow slightly better. 
> 
> It’s really fun writing Jiraiya in a villainous light. He’s so gosh darn pompous I love it. I do enjoy that he kinda just was like fuck it I can do this better. And then he did. What a king. I think it hits harder than the take the throne by force then start a war. I think it would be quite frustrating to deal with a king that proved himself with prosperity for the people. Cuz he didn’t really do anything wrong to the people, just the monarchy that had no idea how to rule. And yes his vague backstory does push this a bit more I think. Interpret the small details to your whims. Perhaps in a sequel we can explore it more? Idk do you guys think it got sequel potential? Even now I struggle with leaving things be in my stories. It took me like so long to come to terms with the idea of finally letting my older chapters be. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this peculiar little chapter.


	70. Sharing Is Caring!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request from a lovely reader! 
> 
> You have developed feelings for two men. Jiraiya and Kakashi. You don’t know who to pick! As you dwell on it, they drop in on you. While they say they want to share.... they don’t fully seem okay with sharing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Threesome. Talk of some kinky stuff. Anal. It’s double penetration time ladies. 
> 
> While this is a request, I would also like to think it’s a gift to a friend. She loves Kakashi almost to the unhealthy degree that I love Jiraiya. She’s been supporting me, this work, and my hobby of writing since I started again over a year ago. If not for her encouragement I would have never posted. So shoutout to you fam! You kno who you are!   
> —

This wasn’t supposed to happen. How’d you end up being such a mess? Dating two men is bad enough, but getting attached to both so deeply? Yikes. It was a bad idea. A couple of friends suggested you test the waters. Go get yourself some men to pine for you. Sew your wild oats. Get in there and get messy. Gah!

You stew in the hot spring as you ponder your life choices. Supposedly the water has healing properties. Or so says Kakashi. The steam will help you think. Or so says Jiraiya. Both ain’t really happening. Both have good points. You can’t just pick one, can you? Maybe you should. You probably should. This is getting stressful.

It’s a feat of its own to get two men to date you. Let alone two men of high status. Two shinobi who have their own reputations for their skills as well as their off colour personalities. Not that you care all that much about their reputations. It was more of a cheeky thing your friends kept mentioning. You like your boyfriends because of who they are not the money they make. Although it is a little fun to be spoiled by them.

Both men are wonderful in their own way.

Kakashi is quiet and mysterious, but he’s very sweet once you got past his distant exterior. He’s so down to earth. He likes books and dogs. He likes naps and long talks about nothing. He’s pretty good in bed. He’s even a little kinky. Somehow he manages to keep his face hidden even during that. But it’s cool. It keeps him mysterious. You know it’ll take some time to gain his trust for him to share that.

Then there’s Jiraiya. Older, but that’s not a bad thing. He’s got lots of experience for both life and other things. He’s more outgoing. Almost childish at times with his sudden whims to have fun. He likes ice cream and being outside. He likes adventure and trying different things. Of course his skills in bed are pretty good too. He likes to always be close to you. He whispers dirty things in your ear and leaves bite marks on your neck. He touches you in a way that’s somehow different. It’s gentle and tender. He values you in a certain type of way that Kakashi doesn’t. That could just be his extra years of experience. In a few years Kakashi could do that.

They don’t know about you dating both of them. You sorta avoided the question. But it’s not like they agreed to being exclusive. You’ve seen Kakashi work some of his aloof magic on women he talks to in town. Jiraiya is still a regular at that seedy companion bar. Both were pleasantly surprised that you were okay with it. If you can date them both, there’s no reason they can’t have fun too. In all honesty it doesn’t bug you. Heck you even encourage. You have been dubbed the coolest girlfriend ever by them both.

But they’ve both been asking questions. The hard questions. Where is this going? Do you like me as much as I like you? They want exclusive. Both really like you. They both want to kick their habits so their focus is on you. They want to start dating you seriously. No more flirting with other girls. No more wasting money on sexy waitresses.

It blindsided you. Yes you do like them both very much. By now you figured one would stick while not working with the other. Instead you charmed the pants out of them both. They’re both in love with you. They want you and only you. You don’t know who you want. They’re both good men. Either would make a good partner. You had to tell them both that you had to think about it. Which they both felt hurt by... but neither pressured you. They accepted it and let you be. Both said that they won’t pressure you to make a hasty decision.

Sigh. Couldn’t one of them revealed themselves to be a controlling asshole? Then you would have a clear choice.

Why are they both so good?.. So kind... So sexy...

At this point you’re sinking to a point of finding any physical flaws they have. Which seem to be none. Their differences make them human. They’re endearing in their own ways. Jiraiya can be a tad too tall for somethings. But he always leans down to give you kisses or whisper dirty perverted things in your ear. Kakashi is more lithe. Again that’s not bad. He’s deceptively strong for his smaller fame. He’s more agile and graceful. He uses that to his advantage for... certain activities. He’s just built more like a dancer than a fighter. Which is just as sexy as Jiraiya’s much more broader frame.

Both are so cute! Why is this so hard? Even the scars and marks they carry from their careers as warriors are cute! Kakashi let’s you stroke and caress the scar over his left eye. The difference in skin texture is interesting. Especially on his soft face. Jiraiya let’s you trace the cuts and marks on his chest. All those close calls that almost ended his life. He remembers the story of each one and will tell you if you ask.

“Hey gorgeous.”

You snap out of your dilemma at the sound of your boyfriend... one of them. Jiraiya is leaning against the doorway with only a towel on and a smirk on his face. He looks you over slowly.

“You’ll get wrinkles frowning like that.”

You straighten your mouth and sink into the water further. He likes teasing you. It’s never mean... he just enjoys seeing you get flustered.

“Why are you here? The men’s side is over there.” You point to the left where the privacy fence is standing tall in order to separate the sexes.

“What? You don’t want my company?”

“No, I want it.”

“Then don’t tell anyone I’m here and we won’t get in trouble.”

He approaches the spring until his toes were at the edge. You watch him closely. It’s hard to look away. His eyes take on that knowing confidence that’s incredibly alluring. He knows you’re attracted to him and he likes putting on a show. The amount of times you’ve been laying on your back, naked and mewling for him to keep going only to be teased by slow strip show is countless. He likes when you beg a little. It’s hot.

Kakashi isn’t like that. He didn’t like waiting when it came to sex. He’ll strip you down then himself at the same time. He’s quite talented at that. Then it’s heated and passionate. He’ll tie you up and enjoy every little bit of the power he holds over you.

You thought it would be the other way around. Jiraiya seemed the type to be rough and dominating while Kakashi would be the tender one. It’s quite the opposite. Jiraiya really enjoyed the intimacy while Kakashi likes to rough you up. Both are quite nice.

Jiraiya removes his towel then steps into the water. He wades to you and pulls you against him. The warmth of his body is just enough in the hot water. His fingers stroke up your sides. You sigh and melt into his soft touches. Soon his lips are on yours. Nice slow almost lazy kisses. It matches the vibe of a relaxing hot spring. You become absorbed in it. You touch him too, down his belly to his pelvis. As you do his hands become more groping.

Those hands of his move to your ass. Massaging and squeezing. At the same time he’s rubbing your shoulders....

Wait.

WAIT!

You break the kiss and look back. You flush as you are met with Kakashi staring back at you. He’s naked too... mostly. He has a face towel draped over his nose to his chin with the sides secured with hair clips. He’s the one squeezing your ass.

“I-I uh... wha-?” You can’t really speak.

“What? Did you think we wouldn’t find out?” Your masked boyfriend asks.

“How?”

“We got talking about our girlfriends.” Jiraiya answered. He tucked his face right by your neck, placing a few kisses on your skin. “Actually we almost started arguing about who had the better one. When the comparisons kept lining up... we figured it out. Your name isn’t so common around here, babe.”

“Are you mad at me?” You ask them both.

“I’m not. Kakashi?”

The other man agreed. They aren’t mad? They can’t be all that upset if they are both touching you. You gasp when Kakashi’s hand lowered and he began to play around between your legs. Jiraiya gropes your chest and nips your neck.

“Wh-What are you two planning?” You stammer.

“A friendly compromise.” Kakashi answered. You squeak when he pushed two fingers inside of you. “It wouldn’t be fair to confront you and make you choose. We don’t want to let you go either.”

“So we’re gonna share~!” Jiraiya purred as he rolled your nipples between his fingers. “But I’m not so sure you are ready for this.”

A weak whine leaves your throat. Maybe you aren’t. He lets go of a breast and his fingers trail down your belly, down your pelvis. He rubs your clit. It’s hard to think now. You grip his shoulders tightly as he rubs and Kakashi fingers. It’s similar in pace. Similar enough to have you weak. The water is already splashing as you writhe. You got no where to go pinned between them.

Jiraiya stops playing with your clit and ran two fingers back. He growls as he feels Kakashi had beat him to it. The other man isn’t letting up either. They’re glaring at each other. Perhaps they aren’t so okay with it. They are already territorial.

“I said you could have the back, you’re overstepping your bounds.” Jiraiya complained.

“You weren’t down here yet.” Kakashi said simply.

He did retract, allowing the older man to take over. Instead his slick fingers push into your ass. You gasp and lean against Jiraiya. Pushing your ass out gave Kakashi more room. His fingers are careful to stretch out your other hole so he can fuck it properly. He’s careful in that way. While he likes being dominant, he never harmed you. His other hand was pulling back your cheek so he could work unobstructed.

Jiraiya is not one to be forgotten. With his free hand he grabbed a fistful of your hair. He moved your head to his liking, tugging on your hair to control you. He tilted your head before brashly shoving his lips agains yours. You whine when he curls his fingers at the same time he bruised your lips with this aggressive kiss. Your heart is hammering with excitement. This is so unlike him! You are pressed against him just enough to feel how hard he is against your thigh.

Both of them spread their fingers out. A louder whine escapes you. You go ridged as they scissored out your holes. Caught with your mouth open, Jiraiya took advantage and explored with his tongue. You met him part way. You focused on prodding and playing that little game of dominance with him.

Kakashi didn’t like being outdone. He had a disadvantage of not being able to kiss you. You open a clenched watery eye to see Jiraiya is looking over you to look at Kakashi with a smugness. They are competing, aren’t they? The man behind you took advantage of Jiraiya’s negligence on your breasts. He released your ass and groped your tit instead, pulling you away from Jiraiya so that you’re closer to him.

It forced the kiss to break. You gasp in loudly as you try to recover the air Jiraiya deprived you of. A thin thread of spit connected your lip to his. It breaks quickly when Kakashi pulls you further to be against him. Your boob is being squeezed and nipple pinched hard by his not so gentle hands. Against your ass you can feel how hard he is just from teasing you. Jiraiya tugs you back, curling his fingers like he’s beckoning you. Your body is being pulled in two opposite directions as the boys fight over who you should be closer to.

At this point you can barley think. These two are driving you crazy with pleasure. Your own fluid is slick and conflicts with the water. It’s cooler than the spring water and you can feel it run down your legs. It’s somehow hazy but acute in your mind. All you want is more. You can’t take anymore of this! You need more!

“Fuck me! Both of you please!” You beg.

“You heard the lady.” Jiraiya said with a devilish smile.

He pulled back his hands from you for only a moment. He slapped your ass then squeezed with both hands at the same time. It made you jump. The sting lingered on your skin. It was oddly refreshing against your tingly excited body. It only got you worked up for what comes next.

Once satisfied with your whine of frustration and pleading, he move on with the next step. He pulled apart your cheeks and pressed his crotch against yours so you are forced to stick your backside out. He turned his attention to Kakashi, giving the younger man a patronizing and sweet voice.

“Youngest first. Fuck that tight little hole you prepared so diligently.”

You look over your shoulder to Kakashi. You whine his name and beg him to do exactly that. With what little give Jiraiya has given you, you wiggle your hips impatiently. The younger man looked you over, quite satisfied and aroused at your desperation. With one hand he grabbed your hip and with the other he guided his erection inside of you.

You held your breath as each inch pushed in. Your mouth hung open. For a moment your vision gets blurry. Just when you were sure you couldn’t take much more, his hips hit your ass. Your muscles on instinct are clenching and squeezing the intrusion in a way that makes you acutely aware of each inch. Each ridge and vein in his cock is being delightfully noted by all your nerves. He moans as he relishes in the feeling of it too.

“Breathe, babe. We can’t keep going if you pass out.” Jiraiya advises you.

You exhale the breath you had been holding for far too long. You pant heavily for air. You don’t want to stop. Not when you haven’t felt Jiraiya inside of you at the same time. He released your ass and his hand cupped your sex. It’s still nice and wet. He began to rub your thigh as he thought on his approach.

Just as he came to a decision, he was almost knocked off balance by a sudden thrust of your body. He quickly gripped you and fixed his stance to not fall back.

“Ah~! K-Kakashi!” You moan when another impatient thrust rocked your insides.

Jiraiya scowls again at his partner in crime. Kakashi didn’t back down, raising both brows and continuing to rock his hips while meeting Jiraiya’s gaze. They glare at each other.

“Can’t you be a little patient?” Jiraiya asks.

“I am being patient. You’re taking too long.”

The older man rolls his eyes. Some boys don’t know how to pace themselves. Your soft lips press against his.

“Fuck me. I want you so badly, Jiraiya.” You whisper.

“You aren’t normally so impatient.”

“I have two wonderful men who want to pleasure me. Of course I’m impatient!”

He chuckles. He grabs your legs and hoists them to his waist. You wrap your legs around him and with his hands free he can properly insert himself inside of you. You lean against Kakashi as the second cock is pushed inside of you. Your body welcomes it just as wantonly as the first. You mewl and moan as you are stuffed full in both holes.

Neither move for a moment to let you adjust to them both. It’s hard to put into words. Both men have dicks of similar sizes and girth. They are perfect for you. Especially now. Only a layer of flesh is separating them, but you can feel the shafts pressing and moving against each other between that flesh. You reach your hand back and caress Kakashi’s head and hair. He’s holding your chest, playing and squeezing with them more gently. With your other hand you caress Jiraiya’s cheek. He’s holding the back of your thighs with an iron grip to keep you from falling.

“How’d I get so lucky?” You sigh in contentment. “You both are so amazing. I love you both!”

“You love us?” Kakashi asks. The fabric of the cloth lays on your shoulder and his bare lips softly caress your neck. His mysterious but very soft lips place kisses on your feverish skin.

“It looks like we’re going to have to share for a long time, Kakashi.” Jiraiya comments. He moved in on the other side of your neck to kiss it.

You exhale a shaky sigh. It’s a nice change of pace. A moment of tenderness among the almost aching pleasure. Kakashi released a breast to run his hand up your neck. His lips followed the wake of his soft touch. Your nerves are holding onto the sensation desperately as you hang on the edge for his next move. He pulls on your jaw, forcing you to turn towards him. His bare lips kiss yours. It’s something that rarely happens. He only kissed you like this when you’re blindfolded or blinded by pitch darkness. You grip onto his hair more tightly as you make out with him. This isn’t like him. He saves that for special occasions.

Jiraiya’s habit of nipping broke your concentration. He bit a part of your collarbone, knowing how tender it is. He sucked on it right after, ensuring you’ll have quite the hickey there for a long time. You know he’s satisfied with it once his lips curl into a grin. You grip a fistful of his hair, gently pulling on the roots in the way he likes. He must be jealous that Kakashi is getting sugar instead of him.

You broke the kiss with Kakashi. Your lips and tongue are pulsing with a particular irritation that only kissing brings. Your body is on edge. You are full in the right way and have gotten adjusted to both of them. It’s time. You can’t handle anymore of this waiting.

“Fuck me...” You whisper. “Fuck me until I can’t handle it!”

“It’s hot hearing you making the demands, babe.” Jiraiya said.

“Just don’t get used to it.” Kakashi added.

They work together to keep you in position. They step closer. You whine as you are smooshed between them. It’s a tight hot fit. The angles of their cocks inside of you shifted ever so slightly. It felt monumental to your stimulated body. The sensual noise that left you in response clearly expressed how good it felt.

“So eager...” Kakashi grumbles.

His more dominating side is itching to take charge. It’s honestly quite remarkable that he’s willing to share. You’ve had to gain your reward of cumming by screaming that you’re his plenty of times. It’s all a game for sex, but this was a little different. He’s got another man to collaborate with. A man he looks up to.

“Let’s start slow. It is everyone’s first time at this.” Jiraiya suggested.

They work together. Your mouth hangs open as they lift you. Oh holy hell! What can you say? What is there to say? It’s good enough to go blind. Even with them bearing the weight of your body and taking the stress off of your legs, they’re still quivering. So is your body. It’s just so much.

They must feel the same. In front of you Jiraiya has his face twisted in a way you haven’t seen before. Eyes shut with an intense concentration. He’s biting his bottom lip while the corners of his lips are curled up in a grin you know well. He shifts on his feet and his hips eagerly thrust. It was a small buck, but it was still good. He’s trying to keep his composure.

Behind you Kakashi is breathing heavily. He’s panting against your ear. You can feel his heart hammering against your back. His blood is coursing through him like he’s in the midst of battle. His fingers keep flexing, digging into your skin hard enough to bruise. That’s fairly normal for a romp with him.

No one says anything. You hold onto each man harder. At the same time they push their hips forward in a full thrust. You could only moan as they both hit spots that felt like bliss. Their heads kiss for a moment as they pushed back in and then their shafts rub. It’s better than any toy could do to you. Even having one of them couldn’t drive you this crazy. It’s hard to breathe. It’s hard to think.

They’re so addicting! How could you ever even consider choosing? You need them both! You need them to keep going.

“G-Good!” You manage to bark out.

“Y... Yeah!” Jiraiya was just as breathless at you are.

“Very!..” Kakashi was no better.

You continue to cry out as they fought on a pace. They quickly fell out of sync. Kakashi was going fast. His cock was pushing in and out of you rapidly. He’s too eager to pace himself. Jiraiya curses under his breath. He was being just as competitive and eager. Burrowing his fingertips into the back of your thighs to a painful degree. He’s going the opposite beat to Kakashi. When one thrusts in the other thrusts out.

You’re shaking. Your grip is threatening to give out at any moment. Your hands are sweaty and aching. You don’t know who to hold onto. You must release one. But you don’t want to neglect either of them with your touch.

“Hold onto me, babe.” Jiraiya said. It seems he caught onto your struggle. He pushed his cock all the way in and stayed put. “I get all of your front stuff.”

“But you’d get a better angle if she held onto me.” Kakashi argued. He paused too, returning to the same state he started in.

You whine as they deprive you of the pleasure they were blowing your mind with. You’ve probably already peaked once but you badly want more. Both holes feel like they got their own heartbeat as they pulse. Even your body is begging for more.

“You can have her hold onto you next time!” Jiraiya remained adamant.

“I want her to hold onto me now!”

It’s strange hearing them fight over you. They’re both so hungry for your attention. They might even drop you and duke it out. They’re glaring at each other with such animosity.

Neither move. They won’t back down. It’s the same energy as two male animals squaring off. They both might as well be puffing out their chests and circling each other.

Impatient and done with their rivalry, you make a hasty decision. You release Kakashi and wrap your arms around Jiraiya’s neck. It made more sense and was less hurtful on your back, which was slightly pinched in the half way angle you were stuck at. You look over your shoulder.

“I owe you for next time, okay Kakashi?”

The younger man looks a tad offended by your choice, but gets over it. He nods. You offer him the best smile you can muster. You turn back to face Jiraiya, who is smiling victoriously.

“Don’t gloat.” You scold him. You fix your grip on him and lower your voice. “Kakashi is doing better in other ways right now anyways.”

His smile falls. He scowls at you. He may be intimate and loving, but he’s still a man. He didn’t like his performance being called poor. He moved in swiftly to kiss you. It took you by surprise. You recover quickly enough to respond to his kiss. He starts thrusting again. There’s a burning determination in his demeanour now. You worked him up. He’s not going to stop until you’re hot melty putty in his hands.

Kakashi was quick to join back in. They’re more in sync now. Which is different but just as good when they were more sporadic. It seems even when they’re at odds with each other, they still collaborate fairly well. They’re rearranging your insides and it never felt so good.

Your cries are muffled. Jiraiya is refusing to stop kissing you. You’re moving with them, eager for more. Your breath hitches as a familiar feeling began to build. Like a tension that is on the verge of being broken. Parts of you clamp up.

They both knew what that meant. It turned into a frenzy. You forcibly broke the kiss to not just cry out, but scream. They’re working harder, driving you into their cocks as they thrust to get as deep as they could as fast as they could.

“J-Jiraiya! Ka... Kakashi!” You stammer and shriek their names as you cum.

Tears had formed in your eyes. You can hardly find a rhythm to breathe in. You’re quivering like a bowl of jelly in an earthquake. Your boyfriends are hardly any better. They get off on you getting off. They have stopped thrusting yet again. They’re still hard and aching to join you in the blissful glow of it but don’t wish to harm you with overstimulation.

To your surprise they sink down to their knees. They managed to not slide out of you. Quite talented for a position like this. They’re both getting tired of holding you. It must take a lot of energy to hold you and fuck you. You fix your legs. Jiraiya frowns when you unhook your legs from his waist and put yourself in a better position on your knees. He liked it having you touch him more.

“Let me take over.” You insist.

You hold onto Jiraiya less intimately and more for leverage. You grip his shoulders with your hands firmly as if ready to climb up him. You move to ride them both the best you can. You use that extra leverage to move yourself and find the best spot to stop before sinking back down. Your shaky legs lack the strength to do it alone. Their panting and moaning began to fill the hot air. You groan and gasp. It still feels amazing! Kakashi still swivels his hips to meet you partway, eager for more. His hands reach up and grab your breasts again.

Well he got one. Jiraiya batted away one of his companion’s hands to get in on a piece of that action. He latched his lips around your nipple and flicked his tongue over it. At the same time Kakashi was pinching and rolling your other nipple. The towel covering his face rested on your shoulder and his bare lips kiss your neck.

You couldn’t go as fast as they were going, but you make up for the lack of speed in other ways. The slower movements was welcoming in many ways. You could enjoy the subtle differences they have in size.

They like it too. Through his suckling Jiraiya is making throaty moans. Kakashi’s kisses are messy. His teeth are scraping against you as he pants loudly. His breathing gets quicker. Then quicker. He pauses to adjust his grip ever so slightly, groaning your name before continuing to take advantage of his position in the back. He had more room to move and he was loving every minute of it. So much so that you know what’s happening.

That cue excites you. You do speed up as much as you can. Your muscles hardly have the strength to. They burn under the stress but you don’t care. Under your hands shoulders grow tense. A pair of different teeth twitch and bite. You wince but don’t stop. Jiraiya let you go to avoid harming you further. He looks at you like he’s in a drunken haze. He’s close too!

They both suck in a breath and go rigid. Oh god is this really happening? At the same time? One final time from tip to base you sink down. Your body tenses too, excited at the prospect of what they’re going to do.

It’s hard to say who went first. They still argue about it. You don’t really care. The fact that you made two men cum is a feat of its own. They both gasped your name. Jiraiya finished with an additional whine while Kakashi breathed through clenched teeth. The feeling of it along with riding them for so long had you undone along with them.

“You’re both so amazing.” You said quietly. You could hardly speak. You didn’t have the energy to.

You kissed them both. You cuddled with them both in the hot water. They didn’t let up on sharing. They both kissed you. Caressed you. Complimented you. Jiraiya praises you with such pretty words. Kakashi made promises that sent shivers up your spine.

You had no energy left to move. Your lovers had to scoop you up and take care of you. They carried you inside between them back to the change rooms. Only to be faced with a small crowd of flushed individuals. It was clear the would be bathers knew what was happening in the springs but were too embarrassed to interrupt. Everyone shuffled along with red faces and averted gazes. They had to help you get dressed and they quickly got dressed themselves. The situation was uncomfortable to say the least.

Jiraiya and Kakashi took you home, but didn’t leave. You laid in bed with them. A man on either side of you. You practiced sharing your time between them. Kissing one while getting touched by the other. Then you’d have to roll over and do the same. Kakashi had let you take a glimpse of his face but still preferred the darkness.

“How’d I get so lucky?” You ask yourself again, head tilted in a way that let them both kiss your neck. In the darkness it somehow felt better.

“How did I get so lucky?” Jiraiya asks in turn. He squeezed your ass and purred against your ear.

“How lucky am I?...” Kakashi adds. His lips press against your throat. Then your cheek.

You chuckle at them. Their antics are more intense with them together. You put an arm around each man. You pull them into a hug. You are smothered in return with their arms wrapping around you. They both tussle a little. They both have the same places they like on you. They compromise and the peace returns.

“I love you both.” You announce.

The confusion of it all has left. Yes it is quite greedy. You have fallen for two men. Both have such beautiful qualities. You can’t choose.

“I love you too.” Kakashi replied first.

“I love you too, babe.” Jiraiya replied right after.

You shut your eyes. Your exhaustion had caught up. The threesome had wiped you out. You fall asleep quickly.

The two men stare at each other in the darkness. While you can’t pick out many details in the night, they are trained to. Each are sharing the same intensity and anger. You groan quietly in your sleep as they both hold onto you tighter. Both are thinking the same thing.

“I love her more.” Jiraiya declares.

“We’ll see.” Kakashi retorts. “It’s her choice.”

“I guess that means we’re going to to be competing... or ‘sharing’ for a while. I figured she would have picked one of us after that. You’re a persistent bastard.”

“So are you. But you’re going to have to do better. You can’t have her frontside all the time.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t need to.”

Jiraiya and Kakashi return to the tense silence. Neither of them relax as they promise to outdo the other. They’re at war. The prize is the treasure of all treasures.

You.

They won’t stop until you pick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got requested like 20+ chapters ago and while the lovely reader who brought it up said it was chill that I focus on other things I still feel bad for taking my sweet time but I wrote this like when I was really into it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(if you know what I mean) and I hope that shows! It was hella fun to write. I hope it was enjoyable for you too readers! Grats on getting two weirdo pervs to fight over you.   
> Next week might be another request or something darker. I’m finishing up a non con that’s like... big yikes on trikes so if you into that shit keep an eye out for it within three posts from now. And I’m almost done the valentines one too! I’m super excited of how on the ball I am rn! Have a good week bbs!


	71. Utopia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya had grown bitter and angry. Everything he’s ever done for the people he loves has gone wrong. They die. They reject him. They don’t even thank him. After so many years of heart break... he won’t let it happen again. 
> 
> As the new world starts to rise thanks to his small but impactful role, he holds onto one piece of the past that made his life much more bearable. 
> 
> You... you were always thankful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Rape. Blood. Elements of torture. Child grooming. Pedophilia. Major character death. Stockholm Syndrom. Jiraiya is the one doing it to you.
> 
> This is a rape chapter. At the hands of a very bitter somewhat yandere Jiraiya. You have been sufficiently warned. Proceed at your own risk. Next week will be much more fluffier I promise!   
> -

Things begin to become clear as you wake up. There’s an ache on your head where you were struck. Your arms are tied above you. Your wrists are together and wrapped in rope up to your second joints to your fingers. The purpose of such excessive use of rope is to stop you from forming any seals without breaking your fingers. You’re blindfolded. You can’t see anything.

You start to shift, pulling on whatever is holding your wrists. The bonds tug and bite into your flesh. It’s quite painful. The surface under you is soft. Like sheets. You’re on a bed on your back. You can feel the softness from toe to head. The air is chilly and damp around your body. Nothing is supporting your chest.

You’re naked.

That realization only heightened your fear. Without your eyes the unknowns around you take longer to process. You yank on the post holding your hands hostage. You feel it with your fingers. It’s metal. The bed frame must be iron or something. You won’t be able to break it with your strength alone.

A hand touches your leg. A hand you know. You know it so well. You freeze.

“J... Jiraiya?” You ask in a small voice.

“Of course it’s me.” He replied calmly. “And it’s only us here.”

That’s far from comforting. All that transpired before you were knocked out runs through your mind again. You screamed and begged. You fought Jiraiya’s hold on you. All you could do is watch as men dressed in those all telling black cloaks with red clouds closed in and overwhelmed Naruto. You yank your leg away from Jiraiya’s hand, disgusted by his touch. He only laughs. A quiet amused laugh. Like one would do to a foolish child.

“Filthy traitor!” You growl. “Don’t touch me!”

“Or what? You can’t escape from me. Even if you manage to get out of your bonds, I’m faster than you.”

His words are frustrating. They’re true. The chance of actually slipping out of these bonds are very slim. You can’t even tell what they’re made out of. They feel like cord, but it’s also too hard to be made of any fabric. Is it metal? Did he think that far ahead to bind you with woven steel? Your wrists are already aching from the way they rub.

“I’m stronger too.”

You wince as his hot breath washes over your face. Without your eyes it’s all a nasty surprise. You can almost feel his lips close to yours. Jiraiya grips your inner thigh. You clamp your legs but it doesn’t matter. He pulls you towards him until your outer thigh is touching what feels like his thigh. He’s still wearing pants.

“W-Why?” You ask. “What do you want with me?”

“I figured it was pretty obvious. You belong to me now.”

“I do not!”

He snorts in a mocking amusement. It’s belittling. It’s so opposite to how he treated you before. He’s no longer tender and sweet. His touch is disgusting now. Having his hand on you no longer was thrilling. It feels like a looming threat.

It probably should have felt like that in the first place. You are a foolish child. He was a manipulative bastard who charmed you. Touched you. Groomed you.

“You just aren’t seeing it my way, doll. You ought to be grateful.” Jiraiya said in a patronizing manner. “You finally get me all to yourself. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“No!” You yell. You wiggle and and writhe against your prison. “Not like this! Where’s my brother?! What did you do to him?!”

“Probably about halfway done being ripped from that demon.”

“You’re lying! Nothing like that can be done.”

“Actually it can. Unfortunately it comes at the hefty tag of killing the host the tailed beast is attached to.”

You freeze. Naruto.... dying. He’s dying? He can’t be! He’s so... precious. So full of life. Invincible to things like this.

A squeeze to your leg does little to comfort you. It only reminds you of the person who did all of this. Jiraiya. The world’s greatest liar. His silver tongue told you and Naruto so many things. Each thing believed immediately as if it were gospel.

“You have no one in this world but me now. Isn’t that great?”

You turn your head away from him. The thought of being alone is crushing. Being alone with only Jiraiya to keep you company holds the excruciating weight of a building on your chest.

“You’re lying. That’s all you ever do. You lie.” You whisper, the lump in your throat was preventing you to speak any louder.

“Really? Did I actually ever say a single lie to you?” Jiraiya rebuts your statement. His hand managed to rub back and forth on your thigh despite your tight clamp. “I said you would be great with me. I helped you in every way I could. Surely you remember that.”

Your gut twists, like a knife was stabbed into your intestines and twirled around deep in the wound. Memories of this man being so sweet to you invades your mind. How he boosted your confidence during that awkward transition into becoming an adult. Jiraiya was the only other adult around. It seems he was the only one that saw your potential for battle. He believed in you.

You’ve been told many times the same thing. Book smart, street dumb. While you were clever and cunning about how battle worked and knew it all on paper, you couldn’t apply it that well in real life. Which was the opposite of your little brother, who was street smart but not that good at applying himself with academics. You and him attempted to swap skills and learn from one another. You cared about his studies. He couldn’t become a splendid ninja if he didn’t apply himself. And you... you couldn’t be all that splendid if you didn’t train. But no one seemed to know how to train you. They didn’t want to bother. You could barely block projectiles flying at you and froze up whenever your sparring partner came at you. You didn’t have the guts.

You were lined up to be something more of an academic. You were to stay in a secure building with other smart people. You’d study strategy and read about your people’s enemies to come up with new strategies. These plans are sometimes tested with mock battles. That was the best part of the job. Going out and actually seeing the battle. Having a say. Making a real difference.... at a safe distance. You still couldn’t handle being too close to it all. Doing so would make you a burden. It was still doing something other than reading so many past battles and old maneuvers that your eyes would burn. It was motivating. Maybe you could at least hold your own if you were deployed. The Hokage didn’t want to since if your hiding space was found out on a mission you could be easily slaughtered.

People could hardly believe you were related to Naruto. You seemed to have inherited your father’s brilliance and your mother’s face. Or so they say. They died when you were barely two. You don’t remember them. You were raised by no one. You only had your little brother. You always did what you were told for the sake of your brother, who was for reasons you didn’t know for so long a social outcast. You behaved so he would be spared some of the ridicule of the adults that hated him.

Maybe that’s what made Jiraiya so alluring. You met him at a strange time in your life. Almost fifteen and fighting down the urge to rebel and that need for freedom is growing. For Naruto’s sake you will always behave. Yet Jiraiya didn’t tell you what to do. He didn’t really care. He was nice to your brother. He told you that you could do great things if you really had the motivation to, including being a full fledged ninja. He said that a pretty face like yours is wasted in that stuffy old building for no one to enjoy. You became... smitten.

It’s not odd is it? For a young girl to find her awakening in a certain man. Jiraiya was everything you wanted to be. Smart. Strong. Confident. Free. He wasn’t bad to look at either. Tall. Manly. With a cute smile that had an endearing trustworthy feel to it. He had a quality to him that made him approachable. Mostly it was his eyes that did that. They were always kind. He cared about you. When you asked if he’d take you as a student as well, you were flustered and excited that he agreed.

Perhaps most girls find other boys their age attractive. But no boys your age were all that interesting. And when you were isolated with only Jiraiya and Naruto as company, there was only one choice that felt appropriate to fantasize about. You did things to get him to touch you in any way. You’d trip so he’d catch you. Handle a weapon wrong so he’d correct you. Mess up the seals so he’d hold your hands for a moment or two. At night you’d struggle to sleep as you thought about him. His warm hands on your body. His lips by your ear uttering your name with a breathless need. His body pressed against yours. The kind of things any girl would dream about their crush doing to them.

But he was no fool. He knew the whole time, didn’t he? He just ignored it. Until he finally found the perfect opportunity to strike.

“I was attracted to you the moment I saw you.” Jiraiya said with a fond sigh. Despite your tight clench on your legs he managed to wiggle his hand closer to your pelvis. “You’re so pretty. All you needed was a little training.”

Goosebumps break out on your skin. He’s talking about what he did to you like he was simply showing you an attack. The reality is that you fell for his charms. He pretended to be reluctant. He only gently told you no one or two times. It left you sad and frustrated. You only pushed harder for his affections.

Then before you knew it he was crawled into your bed at night, clasping his hand over your mouth to keep you quiet while his other hand fingered you. He groaned in your ear things you wanted to hear. You undressed for him. You touched him however he asked you to. He told you to always come to him if you ever needed help with any of your desires. He was yours to experiment with. Maybe something should have stuck out to you as weird or wrong but it didn’t. You believed everything he said. This is just what masters and students do.

“What about Konoha? Don’t you care about what you did?” Your voice chokes as you can barely speak above the lump that had formed. “You sentenced them all to a terrible fate...”

“A necessary step for a better future.” Jiraiya replies calmly. He was confident in his choice. Not an ounce of regret is there. “You aren’t thinking of the bigger picture here. I thought a girl as bright as you would get it. Aren’t you tired of a world of conflict?”

“Forcing everyone to get along through fear isn’t the answer!”

“Isn’t that how all peace is formed? You just have to see it to understand it.”

You cry out when his fingers violate you. They manage to rub and stroke in the way you like. It’s more painful with so much friction. Pain sears into your hands as you yank on the bonds. It’s clear what he wants. He has one goal in mind. He’ll take it from you whether you want to or not.

You’re still a virgin. Even after these two years of him touching and looking, he’s never gone all the way with you. He claimed he didn’t want to do that with Naruto around. You thought he meant as in the same room. It’s apparent that Jiraiya was valuing this act as his final prize. He made sex sound so romantic. It’s supposed to mean something. Especially for a special girl like you.

“Stop fighting it. Relax and enjoy yourself.” He spoke softly.

His finger stroked over your clit, attaching the bundle of sensitive nerves in back and forth motions. It feels good in the worst way. This isn’t the circumstances you imagined your first time going. Jiraiya was saving it for exactly this moment. He wants to celebrate his victory by officially ruining his students. He sentenced your dear brother to death by handing him over to the very enemy he promised to protect Naruto from. As for you? He’s going to keep you as his toy.

“D-Do you even care about me?” You find yourself asking. The despair of your situation was beginning to sink in. You feel lonely and afraid. Being at his mercy is scary, especially if he only wants you for your body. 

“Of course I do. I love you.” He replied. You are taken by surprise with a kiss. It was short and you hardly responded. “I want to share the new world with you. We’ll start a beautiful family in a world that knows no pain. No fear. No fighting. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?”

Each word that leaves his mouth leaves a bitter vile taste in your mouth. He’s insane. He must be. To come to such a conclusion... Just what went on in his head? Does he hate war that much he found it logical to side with the enemy? An enemy that is murdering innocent people. Enemies that take whatever they want to achieve a twisted goal. They seem to be the very antithesis of what Jiraiya stood for... or at least what you thought he stood for.

This isn’t the Jiraiya you left Konoha with. The one that had loved and accepted Naruto. The one that promised you he’d never hurt you. The one that bought you and Naruto ice cream every day. The one with the most charming of laughs and the wisest words. A man that seemed to know what he wanted and wished to pass on such kind wisdom to his pupils.

It can’t be the same man above you now.

This Jiraiya is dark. Evil. Corrupted and cold. If this was the real Jiraiya.... You don’t wish to know him. You wish you never met him. He’s horrible. He’s truly mad and twisted to participate in such a horrible plot.

“No... That doesn’t sound wonderful.” You say. You yank harder on your solid bonds. They don’t budge. “I hate you! Take me to my brother!”

“You just have to see it, that’s all!” He says confidently. His nose rubs against yours. “I know you love me too. We’re going to celebrate as a couple!”

“No!”

Jiraiya doesn’t say anything more. He forced another kiss on you. It’s suffocating. The air itself feels like it’s too hot to inhale with him so close. You fight him the best you can. You yank on the cuffs. You scream. You don’t even know what you just do. You kick and writhe. It only slowed him down.

He forced your legs to part, digging his fingertips deep into your inner thighs in order to do so. It was painful as you tried to push back. No matter what you did he was winning. He’s stronger than you.

“Stop it! Please stop!” You become desperate as he opens your legs.

“Shhh, doll. You’re going to love this part.” Jiraiya hushed you. He massages his thumbs into your tense muscles. “It might hurt a little at first but you’re going to learn to enjoy it.”

“N... No!” You whimper.

His fingers left your legs. You remain tense and still. There’s a soft sound in the room. The sound of clothing sliding over skin. The bed shifts. You can almost see Jiraiya kick his bottom layers off behind him. The next time you feel his leg touch yours, you gasp in a shaky breath. His naked now too.

Your fear is growing. Jiraiya is completely serious about this. It didn’t matter what you said or did. In his mind you belong to him. You’re his to do whatever he wishes with. He’s going to rape you.

That stone cold fact feels like you swallowed rocks. They sit heavy in your belly. There’s no way out. No where to go. You inhale another shaky breath. You can’t escape. There’s no way to get away. No one is going to burst into the room and drag him away. A part of this almost feels like a twisted nightmare. Or someone is impersonating this sweet man into a monster in order to make you fear him. The real Jiraiya may just burst in at the very last second and pull this person off of you.

Jiraiya is over top of you now. You can feel the looming weight of his body above you. His lips press against yours again. It’s gentle. It’s deceptive. You know that whatever he does to you will not be gentle.

It is him isn’t it? There is no trick here.

Jiraiya is cruel. He always was.

His hands began to move first. One rested on your ass and pushed you up. Something warm poked against you for a moment. Then it pokes again.

You whimper. You whine. Any noise you make is muffled as he holds the kiss. Even when you aren’t kissing him back and just making fearful noises he keeps his lips against yours. The tip of his cock kisses your entrance.

“Don’t scream.” He murmurs.

Your mouth opens. You couldn’t scream if you wanted to. You can’t even breathe. Jiraiya holds you still as he sinks down. Each inch burned. It didn’t feel good. It hurts. Your legs shake and writhe. Your arms twitch. You can feel your tears. They’re gathering and soaking into the fabric. It feels like it’s tearing through you. It feels like he’s breaching into places he’s not supposed to reach.

“Oh...” Jiraiya was breathless. He pushed his hips against you harder. “You feel so good! Better than I expected.”

You had no words to reply with. You feel sick. You don’t like this. Jiraiya is hurting you. He’s happy to do so. His hands rest on your hips. He rubs his thumbs along the bones in your hips. He’s breathing heavily and with a clear enjoyment. You can almost see his pleasured smile as he looks down at you. Without a doubt he’s in heaven.

Gentle kisses are laid on your jaw and neck. His hair is tickling your skin. Eventually those kisses went down to your collarbone. It it still nauseating. The kisses you once craved now feel like hot branding on your skin. The tears have saturated your blindfold and are now flowing down your cheeks.

“Y... Y-Y...” You can’t control your jaw. All of you is trembling. “Y-You’re hu.. hurt-ting me!”

“It won’t hurt for long.” Jiraiya’s words do little to comfort you. “Relax. It will feel better once you do.”

You shake your head. Whines and gasps of pain fill the air. You can’t silence yourself from doing it. Each movement hurts. Each push and pull of his hips. It’s slow. Slow enough to count all the seconds of the intervals.

There’s nothing about this that feels good. Jiraiya is breathing heavily. His breath is still washing over your face. The smell of it is being ingrained into your head. It’s that ashy smoke smell you don’t like. It’s the aftermath of his habit of smoking. It was interesting to watch at first. The way he put his lips around the long stemmed pipe and inhaled. The plume of smoke that followed. It calmed him down. That smell lingered on him. That was the only part you didn’t like. It was like kissing the ashes itself. He had a smoke just before those people attacked. His eyes cold and focused on the road ahead from his perch on a mossy boulder as his bad habit kept him steady.

Jiraiya’s odd behaviour should have tipped you off. He was distant right before the attack. Before that he was more erratic and less careful about your relationship with him. He was becoming more aggressive with you. Pushing you against walls and forcing you into kisses that stole your breath. He pinned your wrists together above your head and his other hand explored to his heart’s content. You ate it up at the time, figuring he was getting frustrated with waiting.

He was. He was fed up. But his frustrations weren’t with sneaking around Naruto, it was anticipation for the events were to come. You should’ve known. You should’ve done something. But you didn’t do anything. You just watched. That ashy smell all around you as Jiraiya held you hostage in his arms, forcing you to watch as Naruto was pierced with several rods like a morbid pincushion.

“A-Ah!” You cry out as he sped up.

It feels like you’re being shredded up. You pull on your bonds even if it does hurt. With each pull you can feel your skin tearing. Harder. Deeper. The metal burrows into your skin. From wrists up to your fingers. You claw at the length binding your wrists to the bed. Wetness began to fall down your arms. You’re bleeding.

Above you the noises coming from Jiraiya is all too telling. He’s having a great time. Moaning and gasping with each thrust. He’s still rock hard and fucking you with vigour. You whimper when he groans your name. The blindfold is a blessing at this point. You don’t have to watch him. He paused.

For a moment you hope he’s finished. Please be finished. Come to sense and realize how this is hurting you! The most you can do is whimper in the wake of his stillness.

The point of your bonds being set up how they are become clear as Jiraiya flipped you over with ease. He pushed on your legs until you were kneeling and raised up. All your joints feel too tense and stiff to disobey however he wished to position you. They lock after being set into his preferred preferences.

He resumed the quicker pace he adopted. It somehow felt worse. Heat pooled in your sex as he continued to abuse it. The noises were somehow more acute in your ears. Wet. Squishy. Lewd. His hips are colliding against your ass. Each hit felt like it was jabbing into your spine and rattling your bones to the marrow.

Jiraiya released his left hand’s iron grip on your hip. He began to move it slowly. It feels like hot coals are being dragged across your skin. As he got closer to your crotch his intentions became clear.

You could barely let out a squeak as he tried to arouse you again. His first two fingers are attempting to jerk you off. But the friction is still more hurtful than helpful. Your clit wasn’t being stimulated in a way you enjoy. It just drove home the point that he’s hurting you. He didn’t care what you wanted.

“Come on, doll! You’d feel so much better if you gave in!” Jiraiya was close to begging.

His words are poison. That nickname never felt so degrading now. The other times you ignored it. Now it’s just echoing in your head as he does this terrible act to you. His special nickname for you.

You once loved it. He said you were as pretty as a doll. He called you that when you first met him. Your brother didn’t like it, but it was flattering hearing an older man like Jiraiya regard you as something that’s often considered an unobtainable beauty. You felt special. He called you that when he trained you. He called you that when he ruffled your hair and praised you for your efforts. He called you that when he shoved his fingers in your mouth while his other hand touched you like he is now. Only then it felt better.

Jiraiya rests his head against your back. He’s breathing heavily. His nails scratch against your skin. He presses his finger hard against your clit. He whines as he pushes his hips in again.

“I love you!” He declares. “Why don’t you give in?! Admit you feel the same!”

He’s getting desperate and angry. He gave up on his attempt to stimulate you. He grabbed your leg and turned you halfway. You are on your side. You keep your face burrowed into the pillow, sobbing into it. Even with the blindfold on you don’t want to face him. He goes harder. Faster. Your body is rocking hard against the bed, which is creaking with the motions.

“Say it!” He demands.

You shake your head and hide as much as you can. No. You don’t want to. You don’t feel that way. You never will. Jiraiya is driving his cock hard inside of you, feeling like he’s burrowing painfully into places he doesn’t belong. Your refusal to participate only seemed to goad him on to abuse you harder.

“Tell me you love me!”

His voice rings in your ears. His mouth is right beside your head. Pain stings your hip as he digs his fingernails as deep as possible into your skin. Your bone in that place feels like it might crack. His pace broke up. It became sloppy as he made grotesque noises of lust.

You bite down hard on the pillow. Your cry is muffled. The sensation is like a wash of heat flooding inside of you.

It fell deathly silent in the room. Jiraiya is panting heavily right beside your head. His stiff member is softening. He pulled out of you and that feeling of a sickly heat is reinforced. It’s so gross. It’s trailing out of you. Dirty...

You feel dirty.

What had been done to you feels filthy. No matter what you do... you’ll never be clean. You’ll never be rid of this. Nausea washes over you from a mix of both mental and physical trauma. Thinking too hard about it only worsened the feeling. Darkness began to crawl in around your senses as your body wants to shut down after enduring this horrible experience.

You jump when Jiraiya touched you again. He forced you onto your back. You don’t really fight. You can’t. All you can do is shiver in fear. What is he going to do to you now? A soft kiss is pressed against your quivering lips.

Why isn’t he angry? He seemed to be right before he came. He’s caressing your face with a tenderness. Soon his fingers move up. They hook around the fabric of the blindfold and he pulls it off.

“Look at me, doll.”

You do as he says. You open your eyes slowly, fearfully looking at your captor. It took a moment for your eyes to focus. Fresh tears kept falling out of your eyes and trailing unobstructed down the sides of your face.

You stare at Jiraiya. His face the only thing in your view. You expected to see a monster. Something twisted and demonic looking over you with malice. Instead you’re faced with the same old Jiraiya. This is still the same man that bought you ice cream and believed you could do something impactful with your life. He just... looks the same. He’s not twisted or warped. It’s not an imposter nor is it a monster. It’s just Jiraiya. This man just raped you. He did something despicable and he doesn’t regret it.

His smile that once put you at ease now felt cruel and unfamiliar. He sinks down until he’s resting on top of you. His head on your belly, body laying over yours at this lower angle. He’s looking up at you like you’re an icon to be worshipped.

“It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.” Jiraiya promises. His fingers which had just finished breaking the skin on your hips are now gently caressing your cheek. “I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am that you belong to me. I finally get what I want.”

You stare blankly at him. You don’t know what to say to him. His smile turns sinister. His eyes, which were always calm and collected turn unhinged and wild.

“Do you know how hard it is to live a life sacrificing so much? No one is even thankful for what I’ve done for them.” He continued bitterly. Some of his motivations become clear with his chatter. His eyes casted away for a moment and when they returned to you they returned to the affectionate admiration of you. “But you... you were thankful. I know you must love me. Just wait and see...”

Your eyes grow heavy. You don’t even want to think about what he just said. Thankful?... Sacrifice?...

You passed out. It wasn’t for long. You are awoken an unknown amount of time later, with Jiraiya over top of you again wanting more. With one hand he held your thigh and his other hand focused on trying to get you aroused. He flashed a delusional grin at you.

“Tell me you love me.” He demands. “I’m the only person in this world who loves you.”

You whimper as the pain returns. You won’t ever return his love. He’s a monster. He may not look like one but he is one.

Time went on.

You live on as Jiraiya’s prisoner. He feeds you even though you don’t want it. He drags you to the bathroom with your hands still tied so you can do your business without any means to hurt him. It’s humiliating. His violating hands are your only option to get cleaned. He threw you into the shower and let days worth of sweat, blood and various body fluids wash off of you. Then you get chained back to the bed where he has his way with you whenever he wishes, begging you the whole time to admit that you love him.

You don’t know how long you were there. Laying on your back, belly, side. Turned and positioned anyway your captor wished to use you. Your resolve was slowly wearing down. It began to feel good sometimes. It felt like days but it could have been longer.... Time.... blurs in that room.

“I got something to show you, doll.” Jiraiya purred at you one day.

He unhooked you from the bed. To preserve whatever dignity you had left, he draped you in the same dark cloak that means so many things. It doesn’t feel comfortable. After so many days... hours... seconds without clothes you didn’t like having this gross piece of clothing all over you. Being dressed in the black cloak felt like you were betraying your village. The fact that this particular cloak belongs to Jiraiya felt even more like salt in the wound. You don’t really fight him. He holds you by your aching bleeding wrists and tugs you along. He took you outside.

The smell of rain and the patter of it on your skin wasn’t refreshing as it usually is. You don’t have shoes on. You have.... no desire to run. You can’t escape even if you do. Jiraiya is faster than you. He’s proven that he’ll go to great means to have you. Any people you pass by don’t even pay you a glance. They don’t care. Your captor keeps pulling you along. Eventually Jiraiya leads you away from crowds into a grim looking building. It’s silent and isolated. This is it, isn’t it? He’s going to kill you.

You fall to you knees when he let you go. You don’t have the strength to hold yourself up. The dirty dusty ground is cold against your skin. He kneeled down beside you. To your surprise he began to undo the cord around your hands. The relief stings. It aches. The pain is awful. Old caked blood and the edges of your wounds tug and hold onto the cord. When it breaks fresh blood and new wounds bleed.

“Aw... that looks painful.” Jiraiya whispers.

The tenderness of his next actions feel like a mockery. He raises your hand and placed a kiss on it. You cringe as he licked it next. It feels far too wet. Seeing his tongue and lips stained with your blood sent shivers down your spine. He looks more like a monster when he does things like that.

There’s a dull thunk against the ground. Like a sack of flour was dropped from a high place. You look around fearfully. That tall intimidating cold hearted man that had taken your brother down suddenly appeared in front of you only a few feet away. He stared at you with a lack of emotion. He kicked his foot, drawing your gaze down to what it was he was kicking towards you.

You whimpered your brother’s name. There he is.... Naruto. Clothing ruined and full of holes from where he was stabbed. The wounds are still open and dark. His skin grey. Eyes open but a little. The once bright sky blue eyes are... dead. Cold. You crawl towards him and grab onto him. You shake him. You beg him to wake up. He can’t be dead! This had to be a joke!

“Please... Naruto please!” You beg.

New tears fall down your face. You shake him. You sink down and bury your face into Naruto’s chest. Your little brother. Your dear sweet little brother. The one that gave you value in your life. The one that told you he’d always protect you. His bright smile... gone. His laugh and joy... gone. The light in your life... is dead. 

Naruto is dead.

You don’t know how long you cried for. They let you sob your eyes out. You weren’t torn away from him. These two cruel horrible men just watched you be in pain as you sob over the only family you ever knew. Your brother. Your poor sweet brother!

Arms wrap around you. Lips press against your ear. It’s the warm deadly embrace of your captor. It’s beginning to feel comfortable to have him close...

“It’s only you and me, doll.” Jiraiya murmured. “I’m the only person in this world that loves you.”

You turn around and hold onto him. You feel alone. The last person you thought you would outlive is gone. It felt as if the sun had been snuffed out of the sky. It’s cold and dark without Naruto.

The last person alive who cares about you is hurting you. But he’s the only one who loves you in this world. His arms hold you tightly against him. His body pressing against yours feels strange but familiar. It feels like how it did before all of this... He loves you.

Jiraiya picked you up. You lay limp in his arms. All of your family is dead. The person you loved the most is gone. There’s only Jiraiya. That’s all you have left. You don’t want to be alone. This void in your heart is cold.

Jiraiya does love you.... That’s all you want. You don’t want to be alone. Maybe how he loves you is just how love is. If that’s the case....

You stopped resisting.

As time passes by a very plain fact became clear. No one is coming for you. Your bother was worth saving... but you aren’t. You aren’t all that unique. There are twenty clever ninja that can take your position. But...

Jiraiya cares.

He loves you. You’re special and worth something to him. Only him... just him.

Maybe you love him too. In a world so cold... he’s warmth.

Jiraiya didn’t tie you up again. He even treated your wounds. Every loving kiss to your bandaged hands melted your heart. It feels nice. It’s nice to be loved.

You held onto him, gasping as you feel an overwhelming sense of pleasure. It no longer hurts. You beg him to take the pain away. To dull your loneliness and make you feel like how he did when your love for him was hidden. You feel alive when he’s with you. You have no one else. You want no one else.

Jiraiya must have noticed the change in your demeanour. He’s much more tender with you. He caresses your face and leans in close so that his lips are a hairline away from yours. You can feel the very tips of his lips grazing yours.

“Do you love me?” Jiraiya whispers.

“Y-Yes!” You stammer. You hold onto him tighter. “I love you!”

He moaned your name and thrusted faster. He caught your lips in a kiss. You hold onto the sides of his face and indulge in the messy kiss. Your toes curl as he digs into places that feel so good. You stammer his name as he touches you in ways that send you over the edge.

Time goes on.

It’s hard to remember things. Your life is this room. This bed. Jiraiya. That’s all there is. Sometimes he leaves for a while. When he returns he’s worked up and eager to have you. It’s a thrill to see him. Sometimes he returns injured and you worry. But he promises you one thing. The plan is on track for the new world. Nothing is stopping the progression. Each nation is slowly falling. Even if they resist and win a few rounds, it’s a victory that doesn’t last long.

“Only a few more remain. Within time, we’ll live in a peaceful world to have our family in.” He always promises you.

In turn you always smile. That idea has begun to grow on you. A family with the man you love sounds wonderful. Especially if your children get to grow up in a utopia.

Do you really care how the world gets changed?

No. All you need is Jiraiya. The world can burn so long as you have him. It’s simply time for a different way of life to come about. The world he’s helping create is still one where he loves you unconditionally. What more could a girl ask for?

You sit in his lap, mewling and begging Jiraiya to give you attention. He’s gotten a writing desk in the room now and has taken up his old hobby again. He’s mostly ignoring you. Only giving you the occasional kiss before continuing to write things down. His free hand his groping and squeezing your butt. He shifts his hips and grunts quietly, eluding to the fact that you are arousing him. He drops his pen in favour of touching you.

“I can’t resist you for long.” He sighs. He pushes back your hair and smiles. “You’re so gorgeous.... and it’s all mine.”

“All yours.” You agree. “I love you.”

“I love you too, doll.”

It feels good to hear him call you that. His sweet little nickname for you. You kiss him again, relishing in the familiar taste of smoke on his tongue. His hands are gentle on your skin as they stroke softly along your thighs.

“Turn around.”

You do as he says. You sit the same way he is on his lap and sigh as you get comfortable. Jiraiya began to kiss your neck and grope your breasts. You shut your eyes as he makes out with your neck. It feels good to be loved. You raise your hand and place it in his hair.

“That feels so nice...” You purr. Your other hand strokes along your belly as you contemplate touching more. “You make me feel so good!”

“I’m happy to hear that. I can’t even begin to tell you how good you make me feel.” Jiraiya replied quietly.

You open your eyes, trying to look at your lover. He’s tucked too snuggly into your neck. He loves biting and sucking on the sensitive spots on your neck. It sends tingles up your spine. You lean forward, placing your hands on the desk for support. Jiraiya needs some room to prepare. Your eyes scan along the papers curiously.

“Strategy.” You mutter.

“Yep. I guess it’s okay if you know.” Jiraiya said. He grabbed your hip and guided you back down. “One of my roles is helping with some of the strategies when facing certain groups. I’ve got the most experience fighting different groups.”

“C-C! Ah!” You cry out instead of speaking. Your body greets the intrusion of his stiff cock inside of you with an eagerness. You sit back down with legs spread and straddling his lap. “C-Can I help?”

“You want to help me? I thought you hated this stuff.”

You wiggle your hips, rocking yourself up and down. Even that little movement is sending your body into a frenzy. Jiraiya held your hips, not really guiding you but simply holding you. Even this little touch was amazing. You lean against him fully, slumped against his front. You reach your hands up and grip his hair.

“I don’t like this stuff.” You confirm in a much steadier voice. “But if it will help you, then I’ll do it!”

“Oh doll... That’s sweet of you to offer.” Jiraiya groaned. “But I’d never make you do something you hate.”

“I’d do it for you! Only for you!” You began to yell as you ride him hard.

It feels unbelievable. The length of it sliding in and out of you is sending you on a high that you never want to come down from. He feels so good! Your willingness to help him only seems to turn him on more. Your breath his stolen from you when he forced you up. You braced against the desk and held on. He held onto your hips and held you in place as he pounds you.

“You! Just for you Jiraiya!” You continue to cry out in hopes he’d keep going this hard.

It works. Your screams of passion began to echo around the building. His hips are thrusting quick and hard, each hit sending tingles of excitement up your spine. Jiraiya released one of his hands from your hip and opts to grip your hair. He pins you against the desk, manipulating your head so the side of it is pressed against it other than suffocating you with your head face down.

Each moment was bliss! If only you could last hours. Your body began to go stiff. It’s so good when he gets dominating like this! Tears well in your eyes as you have no other way to express how good it feels. Your whole body is trembling.

“Are you close, doll?” Jiraiya asks. His voice is husky with arousal. When sounds like that it drives you crazy.

“Yes!”

“Me too! You feel so good!”

He flips you over and forced your legs up to rest on his shoulders. He closed the distance, squishing you delightfully in this new position. You wrap your arms around him and fall deep into the kiss. Your moans and cries are muffled as he plays with your tongue with his. His hands rest on your tits again, playing with them as he fucks you.

Jiraiya knows exactly what to do to make it better. How lucky are you to have such a wonderful man all to yourself? Your body goes stiff. You dig your fingers into his shoulders. He sucks in a breath and the kiss breaks as he gasps. He nips your bottom lip before sitting up again. He gasps in a bigger refreshing breath as the cool air is easier to breath when not suffocated by your intoxicating kisses.

“J-Jiraiya~!” You wail his name.

He returns the sentiments, crying your name as he finishes. You are sent over the edge. It lasts for several moments as your body loves and holds onto it for as long as possible. Your lover sinks down back in his seat.

Once your trembling limbs aren’t so trembly anymore, you crawl off of the desk and return to sitting on his lap. The feeling of being so close to him, skin against skin, is so good. It’s warm and comfortable. You drape your heavy arms around him and rest your head on his shoulder.

“I love you so much.” You whisper.

“I love you too.” Jiraiya replies. He holds you tightly against him, pressing a kiss to your head. “If you really want to help, I would appreciate it. You’re so clever when it comes to strategy.”

“Of course, my love. I would love to help you.” Excitement rises in you. You can be useful to him! “It’s for a better future. A peaceful world... for our family.”

“Yeah, for our family.”

You smile as he gives you a squeeze. Life is almost perfect. You have the only person you need. The only one that matters. Soon the world shall be perfect. You sigh as you play with Jiraiya’s hair. He gives your thigh another loving squeeze. He’s so amazing. You love him a bit more everyday. Soon.

Soon it will all be perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for the readers that really just want this man to hurt you. I know some of y’all enjoy these kinds of things and that’s cool with me. I too enjoy some bad fucking times at the hands of my husbando(wouldn’t mind writing a few more if you pervs are down). I hope this angry crazy interpretation of Jiraiya fulfilled that fantasy.   
> The idea for this chapter came about when I was 4 am thinking about how perfectly everything could go to shit if Jiraiya was an evil person and was working with the Akastuki the whole time. He could’ve started a god damn cataclysm but he’s such a good noodle that he never faltered in his values despite all the shit he’s gone through. Honestly Konoha don’t appreciate this boi they lucky he’s so forgiving.


	72. Spoiling One Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Jiraiya have been married for a long time. When out for dinner one night, Naruto asks why. Why and how you could have fallen for such a weirdo? You happily talk about it, but despite how positive you sound the words you speak worry your husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s the Valentines Day special! Get ready for a fucking time.
> 
> I wouldn’t exactly classify this marital problems. You know when you are with your best friend and from the outside it looks like you treat each other poorly but in actuality that’s just how you express the love. It’s basically that. 
> 
> I guess get ready for Jiraiya spiral with worry as he assumes the absolute worse about himself lol. Poor boy he does his best.   
> -

For over a year now... Naruto hasn’t got it. He looks at you, then slowly over to Jiraiya. His two teachers. Caretakers. Mentors. Weirdos. He just doesn’t get it. You are much prettier than that old perv. He’s not even all that nice to you. He looks at you and Jiraiya with a critical frown. Why are you so in love with him?

“Aw come now, Jiraiya isn’t that bad.” You say.

At hearing that, your husband beamed. He casted a sly look to his student. See? He’s a good man.

“He wasn’t always so mean to me.”

His smile falls. Naruto snickers.

“When we first started going out, he was very sweet.” You continue. “He brought me cards with poems he wrote in them. He sent me my favourite flowers all the time. Then again he that so often because we were already roommates.”

“Hey! I got you flowers because I wanted to.” Jiraiya defends himself.

“I know, dear. I’m only teasing.”

You give him a quick kiss before continuing to tell Naruto all the ways your husband had charmed you. It’s supposed to be in Jiraiya’s defence... but the longer he listens to you, the more he noticed something.

“He used to do this.”

“One time he did that.”

“I remember how he used to...”

Jiraiya scowls as he listened to you. All he’s hearing is how he once was a romantic. He doesn’t do anything for you anymore. There’s no more... surprise. There’s only the same. You wake up everyday to the same cynical optimist that teases you with jokes that are at your expense and mocks some of the habits he loves you for. It’s all in good fun. It’s not like you get mad at him. You’ll pull faces and scoff. You dish it back just as hard. But is that enough? Is that really all the love he has for you gets expressed anymore?

“I remember when he’d pull me aside every night, just for a moment, only to tell me that he loves me.”

He sinks into the booth as his heart sinks to the floor with the weight of an anchor. A rising shame overtakes what assurance he had that he’s a good partner. He hadn’t done that in a long time. It’s not like he doesn’t love you. He loves you more than there are stars in the sky. You just... know that. You don’t need to be told every night.... right?

He stares at his cup of alcohol he longed stop sipping. The small warped reflection of himself in the clear liquid only drove home the point that he’s not the same man you married. People change in thirty years. In those thirty years he did change.

He used to be sweet. He gave you cards expressing his feelings for you in effervescent words and brought you beautiful flowers simply because they reminded him of you. He was once a husband that told you everyday he loves you. He... doesn’t do that now. He more often slaps your ass than kisses you. Your pet names have dissolved from cutesy darlings and babes to vulgar insults. He bids you goodnight by giggling maniacally at a really good joke making fun of you in some way. You usually reciprocate with a huff and roll of your eyes.

Jiraiya props his head in his hand and rests his elbow on the table. He’s not all that hungry or thirsty anymore. He pokes at his meal with a frown. He feels awful. He’s been nothing but an asshole to you for the last ten or so years.

You haven’t left him or shown any desire to... but what if this difference finally does it? All the years he’s stopped appreciating you because he took you for granted will have worn you down into falling out of love.

He should know by now that nothing is for granted.

His family wasn’t. His friends aren’t. His students weren’t. Nor was his teacher.... Why should he take you for granted? There are times you could have left him with how he treated you.

You were there for all of that. You stayed with him for all of that. The pain. The frustration. The times he lashed out because he was hurting and you had every right to walk away from him. But you didn’t. No matter how many times he must have harmed you with insults that would have stung you deep, you stayed at his side until he let you back in. He did it when Orochimaru betrayed and left the village. He did it again with Minato and Kushina died. He was even a little snarky and bitter when Hiruzen kicked the bucket. You didn’t let his harsh words tear you down. You just... loved him through it. All that pain was long forgiven... yet he can’t help but think about it. All times he took things out on you because he didn’t know how else to process it. All the times you faced it without taking how mean he was to heart.

He’s lucky to have someone like you. Actually he’s blessed. To have such an understanding person at his side is something that not a lot of people have. He lost sight of that because he had grown so comfortable with you around. But even you have your limits of how much of him you can take. There’s been a few times Jiraiya pushed his jokes a little too far. You’ve snapped at him. He made you cry a few times. You tell him when enough is enough, but he doesn’t listen that well.

What if he pushes you too far? Is there a day he’ll become too jaded? A day where he’s so confident that you understand him and his ways then take it to a level where you can’t forgive him? A day you finally leave because he’s such a big jerk who doesn’t appreciate you?

Gentle fingers touch his thigh. Jiraiya tenses. He didn’t expect that. It’s not like you touching him is unusual. You always grasp or rub his leg rather than his hand when you sit beside him. It’s a habit you’ve developed when he started writing. He likes having both hands free, but didn’t like it when you weren’t touching him while he worked... This compromise worked the best. It’s better when you lean against him with your head against his shoulder and your hand caresses his leg for hours. You always supported him. Honestly could he can’t recall a time you weren’t beside him.

He looks up at you from his slumped position on the booth. A part of him his scared to meet your gaze for a moment. As if he’d be met with all his fears.

Your expression is worried. You smile but it’s still a little saddened at his behaviour. You never liked it when he got quiet. It’s because you know he’s in a difficult headspace.

“Are you alright?”

He nods. You don’t look so convinced. You know something is wrong but you don’t say anything. He won’t talk about it, not in front of the kid. Dinner was quiet. You kept squeezing his thigh and rubbing your thumb along it in a calm sweeping motion. It’s a comfort thing. It puts him at ease... a little but his worries are still restless.

The walk back to the hotel was just as quiet. Apparently Jiraiya’s thoughts are silencing his family. Both you and Naruto are worried about him. His perpetual thoughtful silence held a heavy presence. The rooms in this town were cheap. It meant Naruto could have his own room. He was excited to have a space to himself, as any growing boy would. He bid his weird mentoring caretakers a goodnight before running off to have a night of solitude.

Jiraiya booked a room as close as he could to Naruto’s for safety reasons but it would be rare to see any enemies in this little corner of the world. It’s just in case. It was a parental instinct to have his student so close. In a few ways it’s nice being a parent again. Yours and his children have long left the nest and stepping into the role again was oddly refreshing.

He watches you as you change into pyjamas. He’s already sitting on the bed, changed and awaiting you to join him. His hands are mindlessly picking apart some of the tangles in his hair. He’s staring at you with this churn in his belly.

This feeling won’t go away. This sense of failure. Jiraiya sighs to himself. Is he as terrible as he feels? Because he feels like he’s been nothing but a huge jerk to you for the last fifteen years.

You turn around with the intention of joining him. You pause at seeing his troubled face. He’s been down all night. You thought he was feeling sick. He only loses his appetite when he’s ill. Then he tends to cheer up when tucked into bed when he’s not feeling well. But he still looks like someone kicked a toad.

“What’s wrong, babe?” You coo. You crawl towards him and plunk yourself down beside him, your arm rested around the back of his shoulders. You put a few kisses on his shoulder and cheek. Your other hand plays around, tucking his hair behind his ear to help coax him to talk about his problem. “You’ve been quiet all night.”

There’s really only one thing he can say to you.

“I love you... you know that right?”

“Aw! Is that what has you so quiet?” You ask. You adjust to strangle him in a tight hug. “I love you too! All that stuff I said to Naruto shouldn’t bother you.”

“It does bother me. Have I changed so much as your husband?” He looks at you seriously. “Do you think I’m... too mean?”

“No!” You insist. You grab his cheeks and hold his head still so he has to look at you. “I didn’t mean anything by what I said. I’m sorry I said it at all! I love you just as much as I did when we got together. I don’t need you to tell me that you love me everyday. I don’t need cards or flowers.”

“What do you need?”

“You. You and nothing else.”

Jiraiya stares into your eyes for a few moments. Your words melt away his fears. Then he smiles. He relaxes. He runs his hands along your sides. You return his smile and run your fingers through his hair. You press your lips against his. It lasts for seconds that feel longer. You break it slowly, sucking his bottom lip for a moment before releasing it.

“Although...” You whisper. “I wouldn’t mind having you spoil me.”

“Really? And here I thought I was enough.”

“Only on your best days, dear.”

He snorts. You know how to mess with him. A few more indulgent kisses and then it was time for bed. You fall asleep quickly, cuddling up to your husband for his companionship and warmth. For Jiraiya... it takes some time. He feels better. You love him and it’s never been in doubt. But...

He can afford to spoil you. You deserve something real nice for dealing with him. His mind sets to work a plan....

A gentle touch began to rouse you. It felt like a feather being dragged down your thigh. Your innermost thigh. The sensitive skin there being stimulated tickled. A giggle left you.

“What are you doing?” You ask, your voice still grumbly with sleep.

“...”

“Jiraiya?”

His silence perks you up to awake. Just what is he planning?

A puff of warm air washes over your skin. A rush of excitement follows. A shiver runs down your spine as you put together what he’s doing. You stay in the position you are. On your back. Eyes closed and arms extended above you. Legs spread and free of any clothing. Between them is your husband. He’s breathing heavily with excitement, each roll of his hot breath is coating your sex. It’s exciting you.

“You’re getting wet already.” He murmurs. “Are you ready for me to start?”

“Uh huh!”

A quiet laugh follows your reply. Even without looking at him you know Jiraiya is smiling almost too devilishly. When you behave like this he takes a little too much joy in it.

A wanton cry croaks out of you as he laid his tongue against your pussy. That already feels amazing! He stayed in place for a moment, indulging in your breathy moans as you relish in his touch. It’s amazing what one touch will do to you. He licks. Nice and slow from one end to the other. You’re pretty tasty.

Your hips rise and fall with the motions of his slow pace. Each time the tip of his tongue just barely teases your clit it sends sparks through you. That extra bit of stimulation was sending you off. Your mouth hangs open. You can’t afford to close it. You need to breathe. You need to moan. His nails dig into your thighs. He wants more.

“Oh... Oh god!...” You gasp.

You bite your lip when his tongue pushed inside of you. He slides it in and out at a slow pace. He curls it and rubs it along the roof of your insides. You whine and cry his name quietly as he pleasures you with his mouth. As he devours you in the best way, you run your hands down. You pull up your pyjamas to your neck and play with your chest. You squeeze and pinch in time to compliment your husband’s eager laps. Any shifting you want to do is thwarted as he keeps you pinned by your thighs.

That feeling is slowly building. Jiraiya slides his tongue back out and takes a moment to breathe. His heart is pounding with excitement already. He looks beyond the tasty little hole he knows inside and out up to your face. Your expression is arousing enough but he wants more. He smiles before going back in, swirling his wet tongue around your stiff clit.

“Ah!” You cry out.

His top teeth lightly scrape over it before he latched his mouth around it, sucking on it and flicking with his tongue. You reach down and grab his head. Your hands meet the fluffy white locks you know so well and you grip fistfuls of it.

The iron grip he has on your legs released on your right side. Jiraiya gently ran his fingers up along the sensitive soft skin before finally reaching your sex. He prods at the folds, running his first and second fingers along them. It teases your eager body. Your body is practically begging him to touch you. He teases you with this perverted massage as he goes the whole length from one hole to the other. He doesn’t press a finger into either. He’s building up to that.

You open your eyes and look down at him. Your eyes connect with his. His gaze is intense with lust. The corner of his lips manage to turn into a grin. He takes a break from teasing your clit just as you’re sure you can’t take much more. He uses his fingers to pull back the folds of your pussy before going back in to lick.

“Jiraiya!” You exclaim his name in frustration. You relax your head with a heavy thump against the mattress. “Y-You’re such a tease! I want more!”

To emphasize your point you free one of your hands from his mane and mirror the position his fingers are in. With your other hand you tug and pull him closer. The added pressure provided momentary relief to what you want.

“Fuck me! Finger me! Do something!” You beg.

His mischievous smile grew. He didn’t verbally reply but did as you request. He pushed two fingers inside of you. The relief was good enough to lose it right then. Just a little more! He knows that. He continued to tease your clit with the tip of his tongue while his fingers pumped in and out of you.

“Faster! Harder!” You demand.

You cry out as he does just that, fucking you hard with his fingers. He even slid a third one in and was just as turned on as you are at the results it gave. He nibbled and sucked on your clit to his hearts content, knowing that it’ll only make you climb higher. When your tunnel clenched around his fingers and that satisfying squish followed he knew he’d done it.

Your back is arching off the bed. Your legs are tense and trembling. Your head is thrown back as a stammering cry leaves you. Jiraiya hums something as he curled and burrowed his fingers deep inside of you to make sure you milk every second.

When you collapse with a gasp of air, he retracts. You lay there among the soft sheets and pillows trying to catch your breath. Soon kisses are being peppered along your skin. Your hip. Your belly. Slowly up your torso, even taking the time to peck each breast with a kiss before moving along to your neck.

You smile and hold Jiraiya’s cheeks when he makes it to your face. His lips are still wet and the taste of them are familiar.

“That’s one hell of a way to wake up.” You say after the kiss broke. “Thanks, sexy, what’s the occasion?”

“You said I don’t spoil you enough.” His reply was simple and to the point.

“Don’t be on this again, honey. I’m perfectly happy with how we are.”

“I am too. Trust me I want to do this.” He pauses to kiss you again. “I love you and today of all days... I should be spoiling you.”

“Today of all days?” You repeat in confusion.

“It’s February fourteenth, babe.”

“Oh!”

You giggle with him. After a few more kisses, he’s relaxed enough. You push on his shoulders and roll him to his back so that you’re straddling him. You pull off the rest of your clothing and grin.

“In that case I should spoil you too!”

“You don’t have to. I was looking forward to doing you all day.” He said as his hands rest on your hips. His eyes are looking you over with a desire. You are very pretty at this angle. Well you’re pretty at any angle but this is very very nice. “I’ve been the jerk here. You deserve to be pleasured.”

You roll your eyes at your silly but thoughtful partner. You undo the buttons on his pyjama shirt and feel up the warm skin underneath. Even after all these years he’s still pretty. If anything age has done him a favour. The parts of him that are aged aren’t unpleasant. Like his face. The finer lines from his iconic big smile and the tiniest of crows feet that are forming on the outermost corners of his eyes are sweet. It’s a sign that he’s spent more time in joy than in sorrow.

Watching his markings grow and whatnot was like a game. When you and him were younger you used to trace the short lines that tapered off at mid cheek and wonder how they would grow and change his face. He’d always get so flushed since it embarrassed him to hear you speculate how cute he’ll be and how cute he was at the time. He whines when you poke what you dub his beauty mark on his nose, since he’s convinced it’s growing with age and he’s self conscious about it. All in all he’s still pretty darn cute. How can you not love this gorgeous dork? Especially with a body that would put most young men to envy and shame.

“It’s Valentines Day.” You say. You fix yourself to crouching, kissing his collarbone and neck. “A day for lovers not just for women.”

“I thought you wanted to be spoiled.”

“Seeing you hot and needy for me is just as good as you blowing me.”

Jiraiya chuckles at your statement. You’re so crass sometimes. A benefit of being with him supposedly. You hold him in a kiss before moving on. Your now damp lips are making their way down his body. Soft gentle kisses that almost tickle.

Down lower... and lower. He sighs as you kiss and drag your teeth along the sensitive skin around his waist. You suck on a ticklish spot under his bellybutton before scooting back to pull his pants off. He groans. He shifts his hips to help you as you pull his clothing off. After playing with you he could use some attention.

He’s already halfway there. You flash a smile at him. You hum as you lay back down with your head just below crotch level. You rest your hand at the base. It’s hot and eager for your attention. You peck the very tip, gaining a breathy moan from your beloved. You gently massage your thumb along the shaft.

“Oh babe... you know how to tease me too.” Jiraiya sighs. His hand rests on your head. It’s a gentle grip. His cheeks are flushed and his tone becomes more needy. “More.... please...”

You grin before doing as he asks. You place your lips around the head and sink down. The gasp and moan that followed was clear about how good that feels. A shift happens where that last bit of growth of his cock happens and you accommodate the extra length.

With your free hand you stroke his thigh as you bob your head slowly. You run your tongue firmly along the length of his shaft with each motion of your head. You massage and play with his balls as you do. It doesn’t take a lot to get him like this. He’s moaning your name every other breath. His fingers twitch but don’t dig into you hair. While there is times he’s rough, this time is too meaningful for that kind of forcefulness.

You change the pace with your hand following your mouth, stroking him in addition to sucking him off. The different sensations to his body only add to his pleasure. He’s a difficult man. He likes it when you switch it up. After years of practice, you know what to do.

Hearing Jiraiya gasp and moan at everything you do is arousing. Your nether regions are tingling with a need again. The object you are desiring is in your mouth rather than where you are really craving it to be. Alas if this is all your husband wants then that’s all you’ll do.

His hips buck unexpectedly and you gag at the sudden deeper intrusion. You retract to catch your breath.

“Sorry! I’m just really turned on!” He blurts in embarrassment. “Do you want to go all the way?”

“Yeah, I really do.”

Jiraiya’s flustered expression changed into his usual confidence. He smiles and grabs the base of his erect dick. He looks at you lewdly, almost like that of a character from his book. It’s unrestrained and eager. Clearly he’s been holding back and now all he wants is you in every way possible.

“Then get up here and ride me!”

You do as he says. When he’s like this you can’t help but fall under his perverted spell. You line yourself up. He braces with anticipation. He holds your hip as his other hands strokes. Soon the tip meets your entrance. You gasp as you take on each inch with the slow lowering of your hips. Your insides squeeze the wonderful intrusion.

“Fuck...” You trail off in half a thought. It’s too good to think clearly.

“If this is how you are when we barely disagree on something, imagine how good the sex will be if we argued!”

“Bite your tongue, Jiraiya!”

Weak laughs rock you slightly. He holds your thighs and guided you into a smooth comfortable pace that can be built upon. You follow the motions gleefully. It provides some relief but it won’t be long until you and him desire more.

“I’m just joking. I don’t think there’s much in this world we can argue about.” He said.

“That’s true. We get along far too well.”

He smiles at your statement. He couldn’t agree more. You began to move more. You rise and fall in a more dramatic sway. His cock slides in and out of you with ease. It feels absolutely amazing! He’s always felt good but this is almost maddening! Jiraiya curses under his breath and his mouth hangs open as you ride him. He pants heavily with each movement you make.

Maybe some of his worry was channeled with some sexual frustration. With Naruto around all the time there was no opportunity to do anything. He’s missed you more than he realized. If he can make love to you just as feverish and passionate as he could when first together, then he’ll feel better about his anxieties he had about you. In the fog of arousal and want, his brain is coming to the conclusion that you’d be less likely to leave him if he shags you rotten. Even though he already knows that there’s nothing in this world that could tear you away from him.

“Gah!” You yelp.

Suddenly your world gets flipped around. You’re now on your back with him on top. He grabs your legs and hoists them up to his shoulders. Your calfs rest there comfortably. It squished you in a delightful way. Jiraiya smiles at you and has enough of room to go down to kiss you. One of his hands plants firmly by your head. He continues the pace you set.

His long hair tickles your skin as it drapes down around you. With your hands free you stroke and touch him. You massage his shoulders and run your fingers down his arms. Every time he leans down lower to kiss you your body is forced to fold. You curse quietly between the sloppy heated kisses.

“You feel so good!” He says breathlessly. He kisses you again before continuing. “I love you!”

“I love you too!”

Jiraiya groans your name before speeding up. It hits hard in places inside of you that’s driving you crazy. Your body is coiling with a tension you know well. You squeak and dig your fingers into his biceps. Excited by that cue he fucks you harder.

“Jiraiya!” You cry out.

Your back raises again in an arch and you flex your legs, squeezing your husband in a vice as you cum. He slowed down and moved more shallow as to not overwhelm you during your peak. It feels damn good to be in the middle of it anyways.

You whine as you relax. There’s a cramp in your leg. You can’t move them but it hurts to keep it up on him. Jiraiya helps you into a more comfortable position with your legs by his while you recover.

You reach your hands up to touch his face. He smiles at you. He’s still so flushed. He’s relaxed now too. As relaxed as he can be while still rock hard inside of you.

Your grin grows more confident and almost sinister. Jiraiya furrows his brow at you. He yelps when you roll him over. You’re on top again. He puffs his cheeks out at you in a childish pout. You so easily overpowered him. That annoyed expression melted as soon as you began to move again. You tease him with the control you regained by going nice and slow.

You run your fingers down his chest as you keep going. This little game of dominance is always fun. He’s had his way folding you up like that. You lean back, stretching your back out as you ride him at your leisurely pace. His hands are gripping your waist. That grip tightens.

You resist his pushing on them, his silent plea for you to go faster. The frustration is clear on his face. Your man wants you hard and fast. You playing with him is turning him needy and wanton for you ride him like a stud. Instead you simply smile at him as you play with your hair and touch his chest as you roll your hips at that cozy pace.

“Okay, little girl you’ve had your fun.” Jiraiya declared with a frown. “You can’t keep teasing me like this.”

“Then do something about it.”

He laughs. It’s his sinister evil laugh. He dug his fingers into your hips to keep you in place. You brace and pull against him, expecting him to roll you to the side like he did before.You gasp when he used his strength to lift you up. His cock slides out of you and it’s a void you don’t enjoy feeling. He threw you back. You expected to land on more bed.

“Whoa!” You cry out when you land awkwardly.

You’re forced to bend backwards as gravity took over. You are over the foot of the bed. Your body at a fine balance of on and off. One wrong move and you’ll hit the floor headfirst. Jiraiya wraps his arms around your thighs and enters you again, returning to the frantic pace he set before.

“How’s it hanging, honey?” Jiraiya asks gleefully.

“You bastard!” You yell at him.

“Love you too!”

Cheeky bastard. You put your hands above you to help brace you away from the ground. If Jiraiya wasn’t anchoring you with his tight grip you would be sporting a goose egg by now. The angle is pretty good. He’s hitting that spot inside of you that sends intense waves of pleasure. His lips press against your belly. He kisses up your body, his tongue and teeth joining in occasionally as he does.

Your breath hitches. Again? So quickly? While you can’t see him you can tell Jiraiya is feeling the same. His breathing is louder and more erratic. The scent of sweat and sex is acute and heavy in the air. His steady pace breaks up as he loses his composure.

You gasp and go rigid. Jiraiya yells out your name again. He finishes inside of you, the build up and release was absolutely glorious. You last only a moment longer, achieving the same exploding high.

It grows quiet. Just the sound of panting fills the room. More kisses are placed on your stomach. Then you are dragged back. You slide along the sheets as Jiraiya pulls you back to a comfortable position. You are soon face to face with him. You lay with him, holding and kissing him.

“That was pretty darn good.” He drawled.

You laugh. You brush his somewhat ruffled hair with your fingers. He grins at you. You move down a hand to gently stroke his chest. He holds you close, rubbing your back and ass gently.

“Am I forgiven?” He asks.

“There’s nothing to forgive you for.”

He hums before pulling you flush against his body. That sticky wetness between your legs trailing onto him only serves to turn him on. He kisses you again. He runs his hands on your rump and your innermost thighs. He guides your leg to rest along his hip as he kisses you.

You break the kiss slowly and look over your shoulder. The time on the clock surprises you. You and Jiraiya have been at it for a surprising and rather impressive amount of time.

“Hmm... we should get ready. Naruto will be wondering where we are.” You say.

You began to get up. Jiraiya let’s out a whine and holds onto you tighter. You mock his whine and get off of him. Which only lasted a moment as he caught your wrist and yanked you back against him. You squeak as your back collides with his front. He holds you hostage against him.

“No baby! Stay with me!” Jiraiya begs. “That little punk can handle a day by himself!”

“Jiraiya! Let go of me!”

“Never!”

You dissolve into giggles and relax. He pecks your neck and cheek in kisses. He rolls over so that you’re squished underneath him. His pelvis rubs against his ass. He’s whining and begging you for more affection.

“Come on, babe! It’s Valentines Day!”

You exasperation a loud sigh. Perv. He’s your perv.... you’re lucky to have him. His hand slides down and he lays kisses all over your neck. You moan as he began to touch you again.

“I want more of you.” He whispers against your ear.

“Oh Jiraiya...” You sigh. “More sounds good.”

“I’d knew you’d see it my way.”

His lips move down to kiss your shoulder. His fingers stroke and play with you. That feels mighty fine. You wiggle your pelvis so that your ass is grinding against his crotch. He groans and pushes back.

There’s a crash. A bang. A clatter from outside the room. The door is violently ripped open.

“Get up you guys it’s already ten!” Naruto loudly announced as he barged in.

His angry gaze lands on you and Jiraiya. It fades slowly into embarrassment. His face turns red. His face looks hot enough to fry an egg on. You look away when your eyes connect with his, too embarrassed to really explain yourself or say anything to make this awkward situation better. The poor teen backs away slowly and shuts the door after his exit.

Oops. His embarrassment and agony to what he just witnessed was almost palatable through the door. An exasperated cry of despair echoed through the hall as he retreated back to his room.

“Whoops. I thought I locked that last night.” Jiraiya said.

“That poor boy is going to be scarred for life by the time we bring him back home.” You mutter.

“Meh. So he saw my ass and your tits, there are worst things he could have walked in on. At least we already went a few rounds.”

“Ya keeping count?”

“Maybe.” He paused and kissed your shoulder one last time before getting off of you. “Come on, how about a shower before facing the music?”

“Sounds like a good idea. Smelling like sex around him will only scar him more.”

“Relax would ya? He’s a big boy he can handle it.” Jiraiya waves off your concern as he struts to the bathroom. “You coming, bitch tits?”

You roll your eyes at his not so sweet nickname. He’s called you worse. Not that you mind. His strange display of affection is something you’ve accepted. You scoot off the bed and follow him. He pulled you into the much too small shower and is all over you. There’s more than one way to have a shower.

Naruto was rather quiet. He walked beside you and Jiraiya in complete silence. Whenever his gaze glanced over to you he’d turn red and avert his eyes. You’ve been trying to flash him a smile but he looks away so quickly he can’t properly register it. Poor boy. Hopefully he gets over it soon.

Jiraiya was fairly unbothered. He’s been completely relaxed and at ease ever since getting out of the shower. He spent a good amount of time trying to take off your clothes as you tried to dress. He pouted at you whenever pushed him off. You had to spend extra time making sure he stayed dressed. He’s always like this after getting some. He liked to joke around and touch you almost a little too explicitly in public.

He’s still being pretty flirty with you. He’s holding your hand while walking through the little town. Every now and then he’ll pull you against him and kiss you. To which you receive happily. He’s always a treat but he’s extra sweet when he’s like this. Then just as you think that, he’ll pinch your ass. At the end of the day he’s still a perv. Which is fine... you get back at him. It’s even more enjoyable because he jumps about a foot in the air when you get right in there and pinch his cute bum.

Your eyes catch something in a display window of a shop. It’s a kimono. It’s quite pretty. Black with red lily flowers that travel from the bottom right up to the top left, becoming more scarce the higher it travels. A few of the flowers are white by the shoulder of the robe.

Jiraiya broke away from you towards the shop. You watch in confusion. What the hell is he doing? It’s when he walked through the door he practically shouted that he’s going to take the display piece did you understand his intentions. You roll your eyes and follow him.

“Get back here! I don’t need the stinking kimono!” You shout at him.

“If you don’t want cards or flowers, then I’ll get you a dress!”

“I don’t want the dress!”

“You were admiring it!”

“That doesn’t mean I want it!”

“Be quiet and let me get you a gift!”

You get flustered with him. He upturned his lips into a tiny frown. Stubborn woman. You place your hands on your hips and return his frown. You never liked accepting gifts. You always got so strange about. Your excuses were always that he should spend his money on important things like road food or water. But you’re important too. He hadn’t gotten you something in years. He just... wants to.

“Let me treat you to something nice for once, okay?”

“I told you already... I don’t need stuff. I only need you.”

“This isn’t exactly a need, now is it? It’s just a pretty dress I want to see my wife in.”

You sigh. Jiraiya somehow balances infuriating and sweet perfectly. You interlock your fingers behind his neck and hold him like that.

“That means I have to get you something.” You say.

“Well,” he said as he pulls you flush against him. “Seeing you take it off slowly tonight for my viewing pleasure will be good enough.”

You raise a brow. That smells a little suspicious. He’s planning something. You give in and he buys you the kimono. You put it on right away which pleases him. You get red in the face and he compliments you on how lovely you look. When he talks like that you feel like a young woman again being courted by this big goof. Even more so when he holds you tightly and covers you in kisses. You giggle as he smothers you in affection. You hold onto him and try to return as much of the kisses he gives you.

Again Naruto looks like he wants to die. He can’t look at you or Jiraiya without getting embarrassed. Weirdos. His caretakers are so strange. They fight one minute and kiss the next. He just doesn’t understand it. The oddness of their relationship is so weird to witness. Yet it’s also so sweet and gushy he wants to gag.

Aw well. He may not get it but one thing is clear.

You and Jiraiya are very much in love. Nothing will ever change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t written an older married for a long time story in a while and was feeling it. Idk there’s something adorable about being so comfortable with someone, knowing everything about them, and loving them unconditionally that you can call them a fartnugget and they know you love them. Also shoutout to you if you totally got the reference that this is basically an older version of a reader and Jiraiya from a previous chapter. It was like one line but I think it’s enough to figure out which one. ;)
> 
> Also also I think I’ll just post tomorrow. Just gonna keep the normal schedule hence why I’m posting more in mid day today. Happy Valentines Day nerds!


	73. Ten Long Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request from a lovely reader!
> 
> Over ten years ago you fell in love. You found an injured shinobi near your tiny village in the woods and you took care of him. During that time you fell in love...
> 
> But then he left. He promised he would come back. He never did. Not until ten years later, where your life has changed drastically because of this man. You aren’t sure if you can forgive him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This a little bit of sad boi hours but it gets better. Pretty much angst with happy ending.  
> -

You shut the door loudly behind you. Emotions are raging through you. Your home no longer feels like a sanctuary. It’s only a matter of time before Jiraiya finds it. A light tug on your arm catches your attention. You look down to see your son is looking at you. He looks afraid. Your behaviour as been quite frantic. It’s not surprising that it freaked out Kiyo.

“Grab your bag, Ki.” You say. “We’re leaving.”

“Where we going, mama?” He asks.

“... On a trip.”

You son doesn’t look so convinced. He’s a smart boy. He knows something is wrong. Even if he does have many questions, he scampers to his to pack his things. You lock the door before jogging to your room. Through tears, you grab your pack and began to fill it with only the essentials.

In a perfect world, you wouldn’t be like this. So god damn emotional. Over what? A man who left you? He shouldn’t be worth your tears. Yet here you are, sobbing and upset at what had happened only moments before.

Even if it had been ten years, Jiraiya looked the same. There are some minor differences, but those core features didn’t change. His hair. His height. That face, while a little older, was no different.

He had the brass to be happy to see you. He even seemed excited. He strolled into town like he was welcome to. The community wasn’t so welcoming to him but he seemed to ignore it. He found you before you could even be told he had dropped in. It was blindsiding.

“Hey! You’re a mama now!” Jiraiya stated to you like you didn’t know. He was enthusiastic. Too enthusiastic. Almost like it was fake. Fake or not it was draining to even be near him. To have him speak to you like he had done nothing wrong only stung more. It was like you weren’t worth his remorse. His next words only seem to drive that point home. “Whose the lucky guy you married?”

“I’m not married...” You managed to say in an even voice. It was hard to. You could feel the build of pressure behind your eyes and squeeze in your throat.

Kiyo was mostly oblivious. He was staring at something else that was more interesting than this conversation. That was until he heard your full reply. He knew that tone well. You’ve run out of patience and you’re upset. He didn’t know why you are being so cold towards this man. He scowled at the man, because he could tell you didn’t like him. If you didn’t like him, then he doesn’t like him.

Jiraiya took another look at your boy. His eyes scanned over Kiyo slowly. His enthusiasm dropped. His smile faded. His eyes went wide as he really took your son in. Fear and stress took hold.

Kiyo looks exactly like his father... only younger and cuter. Tinier and softer. With crazy white hair untameable even with a hair tie. Black coloured irises set in upturned almond shaped eyes. They both have the same nose, chin, and lips. He’s even got markings. Those differ but are of the same crimson hue as Jiraiya’s. His grow and follow his lower lash lines like finely painted liner that starts halfway and paints up towards his outer corners. The only thing your son really inherited from you was maybe your ears and skin tone. Some days you look at him and almost call him by his father’s name.

“H.... How old is he?”

“I’ll be ten in two months.” Kiyo answered for you. Children are always excited about their birthdays. He was excited to make the milestone of double digits.

Jiraiya was quick to put two and two together. The colour drained from his face as he braced himself against the nearest structure. The shock had stolen his strength. He looks as if he got struck with a bad case of vertigo. After a moment, he looked at you. His eyes expressed everything. It’s something you know very well. Sorrow, with an underlining of anger. Hurt.... He’s truly hurt.

“I had a right to know.” He stated. “Why didn’t you contact me?”

“You left me with no means to contact you.”

At that point you took note of something. A boy had peered around Jiraiya. He addressed the man with a worried question of what was wrong and a gentle tug on the adult’s shirt. He looked to be about Kiyo’s age. He is attached to Jiraiya. They look very close. As a parent should be to their child.

“It looks like you’ve moved on anyways.” You say with a lack of emotion. It’s hard to conjure any. A mix of stubbornness and pettiness kept you from crying in front of him. The bitterness had steeled you. “What do you care for a child you didn’t even know you had? You already have a son to take care of.”

“What?” Jiraiya asked in confusion. He followed your gaze to the child beside him. “No. Naruto isn’t my kid. He’s my student.”

“...”

It’s hard to believe him. He’s just saying that to save face or make you feel better. Your gut is telling you that your worst thoughts are most likely correct. Jiraiya broke all his promises to you. He left you. He used you. He never cared about you. All those days you spent with him, cared for him, loved him was all just a farce. He had a family of his own and forgot all about you until now. Did he come back just to gloat? To laugh at you? To relish in your misery as his life is much better without you. It just... hurts. This isn’t the closure you wanted. He’s living a happy life that doesn’t include you. Why did you ever get involved with a ninja? All they do is lie.

“Just leave me alone, Jiraiya.” Your voice had fallen to a whisper. The pressure in your head began to build as you teetered closer to the edge of the waterfall. “You made yourself clear long ago when you left me.”

You grabbed Kiyo’s hand and turned away. Jiraiya called your name as you walked away. He didn’t follow you. He most likely can’t. His legs still looked wobbly. Yet you know he’ll come. He’s persistent like that. Once he recovers he’ll seek you out. To tell you what you don’t know nor do you want to. If he just wants to yell at you for having his baby then... it would be better to never see him again. You have done your best to put that pain behind you. Facing him and that conflict will only break you down more. You don’t want to see him. Never. Never ever again.

You can’t stand it here anymore! The years of anger and sorrow you put off just came forth on your way home. All the times the villagers showed pity. The other mothers who shunned you for being unmarried with a baby. The men who judged you for picking an outsider over them. The places that always lingered with memories you’d rather forget.

Spending so many nights pregnant and afraid, with no one to tell you it would be okay. The other mothers ushering their children away from you and Kiyo. All the days your sweet little boy came home in tears because the other kids teased him about his family. The blatant disrespect the men speak to you with simply because you are ‘impure’ has left a rotten taste in your mouth. You only really had a few people who still accepted you. A couple of childhood friends who understood how in love you were. Even then they didn’t get why you picked the life you did. As if you could have controlled the outcome. You refused their charity when they offered it. All they ever felt for you was pity.

You don’t need them. You need none of their pity and false promises. Did anyone ever care? It felt like you have lived a life of isolation despite being apart of a village your whole life. You were rejected by your community. Did it all really fall apart simply because of one man and his disastrous impact?

You should’ve left years ago. The fear of such a life changing move no longer held you. This place feels tainted. There’s too many bad memories.

Perhaps a small part of you wished for Jiraiya. So you stayed hoping he’d come back like he promised. It did hurt each day you waited. It was so stupid. Seeing him again was terrible. You are a foolish woman for thinking it would go any different. You wipe your eyes and sniffle back the runny nose. Stupid man. Stupid you. Why? Just why?... He’s so horrible for returning how he did.

“Mama?” Kiyo’s small voice called your attention.

“Hey baby.” You greet quietly as you vigorously wiping your face to hide the evidence. You turn towards him and force a smile. “What’s up? Are you done packing?”

Your son is standing in the doorframe of your room. He looks worried. His big dark eyes are wide as he watched you. He’s a sensitive boy. He never liked seeing you sad. He ran towards you and tackled you in a hug.

“Don’t cry, mama. I won’t let that man come near you again, okay?”

A tiny laugh managed to leave you. You hug your son tightly. You pet his head. You find yourself rocking from side to side like he’s still a baby. He’s a wonderful little boy. He’ll grow up to be a great man. Sensitivity and kindness is rare among men. It’s probably the only good qualities of Jiraiya your son inherited.

Kiyo doesn’t know much about his father. It’s a subject he’s learned not to ask about. Mostly because you can barely speak about it without getting overwhelmed with emotions. Since it always upset you he didn’t like to ask you. The most you could tell him is that you love his father.

“I’m ready to go, mama.” He said.

“Okay.” You reply quietly. You push back his fluffy white locks and place a kiss on his forehead. “Let’s go on an adventure.”

“Yea!”

“Go get your stuff.”

His bright lopsided smile beams at you in a familiar way. He ran away to his room to get his bag. You equip your bag and meet your son at the door. Neither you or him own a lot of things. Still so you wonder if Kiyo packed the right things. You check his bag to double check what he packed. He’s got most of his clothes, with the rest of his bag filled with some of his toys and snacks. You ruffle his hair. That’ll do. Once back on your feet where ever you end up with your boy, you’ll buy him everything else he needs. Any place is better than here.

You open the door and let him run out first. Kiyo always did want to go beyond this little village. He wasn’t like the other villagers here. The ones that feared the unknown. You were once one of them. This town is all you know. You have a job here. This is where you have raised your son and it is the only life he knows. Yet the looming shadow of all the bad is too dark. You haven’t been happy here in a long time. The loneliness clung to you like a chronic sickness. The type that makes the bones ache and saps all the energy away.

“Mama, where are we going to go?” Kiyo asks a question you have no answer to.

Like any mother, you try to come up with one. A good happy answer. One that’ll shield your son from the colder realities of your decision.

“Do you want to see the ocean?”

“That sounds wicked! Have you ever seen the sea?”

“No... but I know a lot about it because of... a friend.”

Ten years ago Jiraiya sparked your wanderlust with his stories. During the quiet nights of basking in the cozy afterglow of making love, you listened to him. You listened to him for hours. His deep voice was so calming. They told you about things you never knew existed. His fingers would trace shapes into your back or belly his his gentle words filled the air. His fond smile only grew as he spoke of such beautiful things. The details were so clear you could smell the salts of the ocean and hear the waves. He made it sound so grand. A body of water so vast it melted with the sky in the horizon. As if the land and the heavens had finally touched one another.

Does he remember those nights?

Does he even remember what it felt like to say goodbye? How he caressed your face and kissed you? How he looked you dead in the eyes and promised you that he would come back? How you believed everything he said and begged him to come back quickly? He told you that his village could wait. You were more important to him.

Jiraiya... he doesn’t remember all of that, does he?

You clearly aren’t worth remembering. If you were, he would have returned sooner. He said he would take you there himself one day. You’d have nothing to fear if you stuck with him. Nothing could hurt you if he was with you...

Liar.

“Let’s get going, Ki.” You say with as much enthusiasm as you can muster.

“Okay!”

You took the first step, opting to go towards the edge of town rather than through the heart. Jiraiya is still here. You don’t want to run into him again. Perhaps that’s a bit cowardly but looking that man in the eyes is like being stabbed in the gut with a salted blade.

Kiyo ran ahead of you, but never too far ahead. He didn’t like to stray far from you. Nor do you like to see him go too far. Like any child, his imagination is crazy enough to keep him entertained. This first travel experience was being filtered through his world as he imagined something fun to do. Because just walking is no fun.

The further you get away from your hometown the better you feel. Your friends will understand. Especially since they knew that Jiraiya had dropped in on you. They... They’ll move on. It’s not like you were terribly close to any of them. All you need is Kiyo. Your son is the most precious thing in the world to you.

You don’t need anyone else...

“Are you running away from me?”

You freeze. You turn your head to see Jiraiya looming in the shadows of a tree. His expression is grim. It’s exhausted. It was like he has been rung through too many emotions to really hide how tired it made him. His voice reflected that as well. It lacks the mirth he usually has. It’s serious and quiet.

“Yes.” You whisper. You look around. “Where’s your son?”

“He’s not my son! I already told you. Naruto is my student.”

“At least your attention is precious to someone.”

Jiraiya exhales a breath. It wasn’t exactly a sigh, it was more like he was calming himself with a cleansing breath. He didn’t want to argue. It won’t do any good. It’s not why he showed up. He had his arms folded across his chest. He’s clutching at his sleeve. His gaze slowly went over to Kiyo, who was entertained by attempting to climb a tree. A tree Jiraiya knows his student is up. He asked for some help so he could speak to you alone.

A longing becomes clear in Jiraiya’s eyes. He’s looking your boy over with a want. He wants to know Kiyo. His own flesh and blood that he didn’t know he had living on this earth.

“I know there’s nothing I can say to you that will make you feel better.” Jiraiya said. “I know I hurt you.”

You don’t say anything. He’s correct. He broke his promises to you.

“I don’t want to make excuses.” He kept talking. He took a step towards you. Your heart skipped a beat at his approach. “I was a coward ten years ago. I was afraid of how I felt about you.”

“...” You remain quiet. A lump formed in your throat. You grit your teeth as you try to swallow it down.

“I don’t just... fall in love. That doesn’t happen to me. I thought I was being foolish.” He moved his hand out to touch you, but changed his mind. He gripped the air before moving his fist to clutch at his chest. “If I had known that...”

“That I was pregnant?”

“Yeah. But not just that. If I was just honest with myself.” He dropped his head. His shame is clear. “I always figured you had moved on. I waited too long and I was... scared to face you.”

“Scared?” You ask. How could you possibly scare him?

“Yes.” Jiraiya admits. He looks back over to the child he wish he knew. “I was scared to see you if you had moved on. I was even more scared to see if you hadn’t. I see now what a mistake I made.”

His sorrow is... similar to yours. The only difference is he suffered it alone. You suffered yours with Kiyo, his son he didn’t even know he had. He’s staring at your boy with a mix of so many things. It’s clear he really wants to meet Kiyo. In a way you do feel bad for depriving Jiraiya the opportunity to know his own child. The angry excuses you always came up with don’t seem as valid anymore. Especially when he’s looking at your boy with a clear desire.

Then he looks at you with the same longing. The same expression he wore ten years ago the last time he gazed at you. With dark eyes that have a watery sorrowful sheen and a smile that is bearing his most true emotion. It’s the type of expression that when you look at it you are captivated. You want to reach out and wipe away the wells in his eyes and assure him everything is okay.

“I’m still in love with you.” He states.

You turn away from him. The tears you’ve tried so hard not to shed are escaping again. You don’t want to cry in front of him. It still hurts. You don’t want to. You just... don’t. A shaky sob leaves you. You try to grit your teeth and get a hold on yourself. But you can’t. His words shake your world to the core.

A pair of familiar arms wrap around you. Attached to that was a familiar body pressing against your back. Jiraiya is holding you. It’s been so long since you’ve been held like this. As if the heat of a sunny day was seeping into your cold body. It’s a slow welcoming heat.

“I‘ll never let you go again.” Jiraiya promises. His lips graze against your cheek, but don’t commit to a full kiss. “I don’t want to be a stranger to my son. I... I want a family.”

You bury your face in your hands. The tears kept flowing. The walls of defences you thought you had built are falling around you.

This is what you wanted. You missed him so much. To hear him say such wonderful things is melting the ice you thought froze your heart.

Through the years of pain and resentment you thought you had, one thing remains clear. You still love Jiraiya. You want him. You know he’d make a good father. It’s just... it’s been so hard. So lonely. You’ve spent ten years pushing people away. It’s so draining to live like that. When he’s touching you like this all that hurt seems to melt away. Like he never left you.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He kept repeating in a quiet sincere voice.

You turn around so that you’re facing him. You put your arms around him. His warmth seeped into you more. The cozy embrace of the man you missed so much felt like the sunniest days after years of darkness. He hugs you tightly, continuing to utter apologies to you. It feels safe when being held like this. You sniffle and gasp. It’s hard to get a handle on your weeping but you have quieted down. You nuzzle your cheek against his chest. The beat of his heart is calming.

“Let my mama go!”

Kiyo had taken notice of what was happening. He ran back to your side and banged his fists against Jiraiya’s leg. It’s actually fairly painful. For a scrawny kid he’s quite strong. His face is scrunched up in a scowl as he glowers at the man holding you. He did make a promise.

“Ki! Calm down. I’m okay.” You assure. You escape Jiraiya’s warm grasp to force your son to stop attacking him. “This man is someone I like.”

“If you like him then he shouldn’t be making you cry!”

“They’re happy tears.”

Kiyo only scowled more. His mistrustful dark eyes look back at the very tall man who was holding you. You grab his cheeks and force him to look at you instead.

“Kiyo, I want you to meet...” You hesitate for a moment. Do you say it? In a way it’s difficult. To drop a bomb this big on your child seems cruel.

“Jiraiya. That’s my name.” Jiraiya swiftly introduced himself. He crouched down to meet your son at the same eye level. “I’m a good friend of your mama. I... I would like to get to know you, Kiyo.”

The way he said your son’s name for the first time was... meaningful. His lips pulled into a smile when he did. It felt good to say it. It’s a good name.

“I dunno about that. You’re that man that made mama cry earlier today, aren’t you?” Your son asks.

“Yeah I guess I did. I said I was sorry. I don’t make a habit of making girls cry and I won’t do it again.”

Kiyo narrowed his eyes and looked Jiraiya over as if to size him up. Jiraiya remained quiet and still, allowing the child to judge him. He accepts that he’s at Kiyo’s mercy. He shouldn’t expect the kid to accept him right away. It’ll take some time for that. 

“Are you going to travel with us?” Kiyo asks.

“If that’s what your mama wants, then yes.”

“What about that kid you were with?”

“That’s my student. We’re traveling around as part of his training.”

“Training?” Kiyo repeated. Then his eyes went wide and he gasped. “That means you’re both ninja! Right?”

“Yeah we are!”

You silently watch their exchange. It’s different. A good different. Kiyo never really liked it when men tried to talk to you. You usually rejected them anyways. This is so odd to see him be so excited to speak to a man. Maybe on some subconscious level your son knows he’s related to Jiraiya. They get along. The relief on Jiraiya’s face is very evident. This first real interaction with Kiyo is going well.

As they talk, Jiraiya reached his hand out and grasped yours. It feels good to be together. You lean towards him and rest your head on his shoulder. A ten long year void that both you and him felt was filled....

...

The two years that passed were bliss. You have things you never thought you would. Jiraiya was a good partner. You and him had picked up the relationship as if it was never dropped. It was like he never left. The pain, that void healed for both of you.

Kiyo learned the truth after half a year. At that point he had grown very close to Jiraiya. As the saying goes, like father like son. They’re both adventurous daydreamers who want to make a better world. Kiyo has even shown some good promise as a ninja, having some natural talent in close combat.

He was choked up when he found out that mama’s boyfriend is more than just that. He understood why it was such a secret. He was grateful he got to know his father without the knowledge of who he was talking to. There was no pressure on either of them for those unfamiliar roles. He tackled Jiraiya in a hug and uttered something that almost had the man in tears. They’ve only grown closer since.

As for Naruto, well... he was hesitant at first. He was a little jealous that Jiraiya’s attention got divided. Between you, Kiyo, and him there was a lot for Jiraiya to do. But you treated him like another son and he latched onto you as a motherly figure in his life. He’s a good boy. He does feel like another son to you. Kiyo grew on him too.

While not as strong willed or experienced, your son tried to keep up with the training and often asked Naruto for advice. Of course as boys do, they often goofed off. Most times you found their one on one ‘training’ mostly being childish wrestling and play fighting. Or the older boy would entertain some of Kiyo’s wild imagination as they had mini adventures together. It’s quite sweet. Naruto has clearly grown into a roll as a big brother to your boy.The type that gets their sibling into trouble, but is there to get them out again.

Once in the frame of the famous gates of Konoha you heard so much about, Naruto ran off excitedly back to the streets he knows. Kiyo made a couple of steps in to follow before stopping mid stride. He turned around. With his biggest pleading eyes he looks up at his parents.

“Mama? Papa? Can I go exploring?” He asks. He always does before leaving your’s or Jiraiya’s side. It’s a lesson Jiraiya really hammered in. He didn’t like it when either boy ran off. He frets a lot.

But this is somewhere safe. No one here wishes to bring harm to either of them. Jiraiya spoke of this town as a peaceful stronghold.

“Go ahead, Ki.” You say.

He beamed a big smile before darting off into the crowd. Jiraiya released your hand to place his by his mouth to amplify it. He shouted a time and place for Kiyo to find him and you. Kiyo shouted back something mostly unintelligible among the noises of the street. You saw a little hand peek above the sea of heads, confirming that your son heard. You look over at Jiraiya, who is waving back. When he looks over at you, he matches your raised brow.

“What?”

“And how do you expect him to find this place?”

“He’s a smart kid. If Naruto doesn’t take him then he can ask some of the locals. They’re friendly, I promise!”

You roll your eyes. In turn your partner scoffs before leaning down to give you a kiss. He is a good father, if a little too trusting in a young teens abilities not to get totally off track. But if Kiyo takes too long he’ll have a worried father prowling the streets. Jiraiya will keep prowling until he finds his son and herd the young boy back to his family. He’s done so in the past, upset at his child for ignoring curfews. He’s trying not to be overbearing. Other times he’ll turn a blind eye to some rule breaking he finds acceptable. He’s become protective, but tries to balance the freedoms a child craves.

Jiraiya does hesitate for a moment. His eyes looking over the crowd as if to make sure Kiyo isn’t already in trouble, a talent his son inherited from him. He’s doing very well as a father, but still has some anxieties. Sometimes he worries that he’s made the wrong move. Or that he’s jeopardized his relationship with Kiyo by being firm.

It’s still very new to him in a lot of ways. He hated the fact that he wasn’t there for the first ten years. He didn’t ever want to make Kiyo feel like an afterthought or unwanted. The first few months Jiraiya was a little too soft. When he did grow the courage to criticize his son on something, Kiyo already respected him as a parental figure. They also find time to be goofballs together. They’re more friends first, parent and child second. Even so he still feels like something was missing in his family.

Fortunately, something very good happened that is helping him feel like less of a failure as a parent. While you assured him plenty of times that he’s a great parent, it’s clear he didn’t think the same. He missed out on the baby years. He hated the fact that you did it all alone. He just... wanted to do that kind of stuff. He still feels awful that you had no choice but to do it alone because he selfishly ran away all those years ago. A part of him felt incomplete.

To be fair he is quite good at it. Jiraiya held back a wince when Sumire pulled on his hair. He turned his attention to the troublemaking nine month old in his other arm. She was very much like him too. White hair that was sticking out in every which way. Sparkly mischievous black eyes. A big grin that’ll be convincing enough to get out of trouble no matter how guilty she is. But no matter how much you see him, Jiraiya insists she looks just like you.

He gently seized his lock back from her by grabbing her chubby fist and placing it back at her side. She held onto his finger instead of letting it go. He chuckles before kissing her cheek, doing so in a way that is a little over the top with smooching noises and finding a spot by her ear that’s ticklish. She curls her head to her shoulder to hide it from him, shrieking in joy as her father drowns her in attention. He’s been a wonderful parent to her. He loves her to bits and hardly ever lets her go.

It was very different having Jiraiya around for that pregnancy. In a good way. He took care of you to the best of his ability. He’s become a master at balancing his attention between so many people. The best example that comes to mind being him your seat as he rubbed your back. At the same time he was giving advice to Kiyo about memorizing seals and keeping an eye on Naruto who was still learning the delicate dance of collaboration with a summon. The chaotic ways of having so many distractions around was oddly suited to him. When he didn’t dwell on it, Jiraiya was incredible at multitasking so many people.

Then when you gave birth to Sumire, Jiraiya has been absolutely obsessed with her. These last few months haven’t been so training heavy as he spent so much of his attention on bonding with his daughter. Yet he still found a way to make sure the boys, as well as you, weren’t alienated. 

You got lots of down time with your partner as he stole any moment of quiet he could to be with you. As for the boys, they didn’t mind having a bit of a break. With a baby sister to entertain they both were glad to have some more free time. They’re still in a competition over who is the cooler big brother. Sumire was indifferent. She loves them both almost as much as she loves her papa. 

“Let’s go get snacks. Yeah baby?” Jiraiya asks, nodding in an exaggerated way.

Sumire impersonated his gesture, nodding along with him. He’s been having a real ball with her learning and mimicking. He beamed a smile at her and she returned it. He turned to you with the same over the top exaggerations.

“Yeah mama?”

“I suppose something to eat would be nice.” You agree.

“Yay!”

You huff a laugh. Jiraiya is rather funny. He’s been behaving so childishly since Sumire began to mimic him. It’s adorable. He grabbed your hand and led you into the busy village. Out of all the places he has taken you and the kids, this was the nicest. While the sea was grand and the mountains breathtaking, there’s something truly beautiful about a village that flourishes in it’s peace. It’s even more beautiful with the man you love to share it with.

Even a small thing like sitting on a bench was somehow a wonderful memory in the making. Jiraiya is sitting across from you, Sumire in his lap. He’s delightfully distracted by her, helping her eat the dango he she’s squeezing in her little fists and shoving into her mouth. You sit and watch them as you sip your tea, adoring the sight.

Soon your son drops in, yelping in a mix of joy and thrill as he leaps over a fence. By the outraged scoldings from an elderly voice, Kiyo had gotten into trouble again.

“Hey mama! Hey papa!” He greeted happily. He skidded to a halt, taking a moment to ruffle Sumire’s fluffy soft hair before plunking down beside Jiraiya.

Your eyes raise from Kiyo to Jiraiya, who was wearing the same expression as you. What the hell did that silly boy do now? You eventually just tut your tongue and roll your eyes. Teenage boys are a mystery in their ways in getting in trouble so quickly.

Moments later Naruto came trotting up and took a seat beside you. He looked a little miffed, giving Kiyo a small frown. The two boys share a look of knowing. Naruto was slightly more critical. It seems he may have taken the fall for Kiyo yet again. They began to bicker. It’s lighthearted for the most part. It’s mostly just teasing.

Fairly soon other children came out of the woodwork. You call them children, but they are almost adults. Teenagers. All of them from Naruto’s class. They are quite close to the blond. He was happy to see them and even more happy to introduce them all to his family.

Naruto had come close to calling you mom a few times. He stopped and corrected himself, flushing as he asks if his friends can hang out.

“I don’t see why not. Honey?” You turn and ask your other half.

“Sure! I can cover them.” Jiraiya replied.

There is a mix of reactions. From thankful to insistence that they get their own tab. Soon the bench is filled and a second one was set down to extend the first in order to accommodate all the people. The table portion is filled with more orders of food and tea. 

Kiyo is having a field day, his eyes full of stars as he asks the older kids all kinds of questions about being a shinobi. There’s a flurry of conversation as they all want to give their own philosophy. The chaos of it all is only elevated as Sumire bangs her messy hands on the table and squeals in joy.

You try to keep them all calm. Alas that is a task easier said than done. The chaos of it all was strangely welcome. You look over to your partner. He more or less shrugs and smiles. He reached his hand halfway across the table and offers it out for you to take. You do and hold it tightly.

“I love you.” Jiraiya’s words just managed to carry through the antics of the teenagers.

“I love you too.”

He squeezes your hand. A gesture you return gleefully. You look over your family. From youngest to oldest. To all the children that had suddenly been added to your world. All of them smiling and happy. As you sit in all this warmth and joy, something becomes clear. You’ve never been happier.

This. The joy of having a family. The unique chaos it brings. The fulfillment of making your loved ones happy.

This is what you’ve always wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one had me y’all. I love this type of au. I really tried to embrace the yehaw closed minded views that small isolated towns tend to have. It sucks that women stuck in this situation do become social pariahs rather than getting support they need. I think that’s what really made reader in this situation have her change of heart. Also it gave Kiyo some Forrest Gump vibes and I love it. Hopefully you lovelies enjoyed! Next week is another request!


	74. Days of Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request from a lovely reader!
> 
> Jiraiya had survived his encounter with Pain by the skin of his teeth. He’s been put through hours of surgery and there’s still much to do. You are in charge of his recovery. Little did you know you would fall for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: talks of medical things. Blood. Medical procedures and care. That sort of thing. Nothing graphic but if like talking about needles and surgery freaks you out I would maybe skip this one.   
> -

Day one of recovery. With supplies needed in hand, you make your way to certain hospital room. You enter the room without announcing yourself. The occupant inside is still unconscious. You shut the door and pull the curtains for some more privacy.

Your bedside manner is a little rusty, but you can do this. Lady Tsunade trusted you to do this. You mustn’t disappoint. Patient care to this degree isn’t normally part of your job but Lord Jiraiya is a special case. Supposedly you are the most qualified.

He survived by the skin of his teeth. At the moment he’s covered from shoulders down in bandages. Blotches of blood are blooming through his dressings as they have reached their time to be changed. He’s still recovering from an extensive set of surgeries. All of them done at the same time. His internal organs and the punctures that caused them had to be stitched together. His lung had to be inflated back to normal and the water that filled them had to be pumped out. The amputation to his left arm had to be taken back further due to the shattered bone and messy break of the wound.

It’s just a lot.

Poor man had to be sewn back together at the seams. Despite the all the work done to him, he’s doing well with recovery. He’s reacting well to the drugs being pumped into him. His vitals haven’t dipped or gone erratic. His complexion has come back from grey to his natural shade as his blood stays in his body. He must have the will to live. A will to live so strong that he’s going to pull through. Yet there’s still much work to do.

The damage to his throat was seen as non life threatening and pushed aside for now. The most that was done to it was repairing the airway so he can breathe, which is an operation that can be done mostly with a very talented hand in chakra control. It’s an emergency procedure, lots of emergency fixes like that can be mostly repaired with chakra and plenty of patience. It’s simply a temporary fix. It is far from operating normally.

His larynx is still in rough shape. The probably of his voice ever working again, at least for now, is slim. Her ladyship is researching and working on a solution, if anyone can do it she can. His damage is reminiscent of that to those who suffer cancer of the larynx. There’s a chance that if she does succeed in repairing his voice, he could be stuck with you for sometime for speech therapy. A surgery like this hasn’t really been done before. Not to that extent. He may stutter or have trouble forming certain vowels.

Time will tell. Lord Jiraiya has hardly gotten the opportunity to recover from these surgeries. The surgery for his voice won’t be set until he’s spent time with you monitoring his recovery. You set down your supplies and start with a simple checkup. You activate your chakra and place your hands gently on his body. You scan to see how his injuries are doing. There’s small flares and pulses as you detect the injuries, but nothing has become undone. He’s still on track. He just needs to wake up.

You move on to some of the care his lordship needs. Everyone was so frantic when he was dropped off by one of his toads the day previous. He was rushed into those surgeries that lasted hours and was handled by Tsunade herself. She and her most talented staff worked until they almost dropped from exhaustion. Jiraiya was placed in this room and you were called to be his caretaker. Most of those who worked on him are asleep after such extensive work. You have no active cases and as the head of your department, you were deemed the best to watch over Jiraiya while his friend rests. At hearing the request you were quite flattered that the Lady Tsunade saw you worthy to watch over someone she loves dearly. It’s a lot of pressure but you can handle it. For now you start with the basics.

The poor guy is still showing signs from his battle. Dirt and blood is smeared on his face. His hair while laid under him it’s easy to see it’s tangled and splattered with filth. He’s still wearing his pants. When given a case like this, sometimes doctors and nurses overlook the small things to make sure he didn’t keel over in the night.

So it’s up to you to change and tidy him up. Once he’s got at least that done you’ll call in help to assist you in hoisting him up to change his bandages. He’s far too big for just you to do. You start with the small things. A warm wet cloth to wipe off the old grime. You start with his face, using gentle dabs to clean it.

Lord Jiraiya cringes. His eyes clench and nose scrunches. A quiet groan follows. His lips tighten into a thin line before he relaxes again. When you wipe under his eye to clean it of a streak of blood, it opens for a moment. Both his eyes do. Only a few millimetres before shutting again.

“It’s alright. You’re somewhere safe.” You comfort him. “Rest.”

His heavy eyes refused to open any further than those slits before falling closed again. He goes back to being limp and catatonic.

Next comes the more interesting things. You’re a professional... it’s not like you haven’t done this before. Yet for Jiraiya it does feel a tad bit odd. You must strip down a Sannin. From what you heard he would quite enjoy something like this. Some of the nurses warned you that the Lord Jiraiya was flirty and handsy whenever he had to be admitted.

At least he’s asleep, where you don’t have to worry about that kind of stuff. You pull off his pants. Then his underwear. You pay no attention to the intimacies on his body. You focus on the care. The poor man needs a change of clothes. These ones are dirty and torn. Not to mention the days of being in the same underwear. Gross. He’s in need of a bath. Unfortunately with all his open wounds he won’t be able to have one for quite some time. The least you can do is give Jiraiya a quick wipe down and something clean to wear.

Sounds began to break the quiet. Not quite a laugh, but painful weak heckles. You look up to see Jiraiya had awoken. His dark eyes are looking at you. They are mirthful with the same mischief he’s known for. At least he’s in good spirits. You look down to see your head is level with his crotch. You feel a wash of heat take your face. You scowl at him. Perv.

Perfect timing. Leave it to him to wake up as you are changing him. You put his new undies on. Followed by his pants as unsexy as you can. He caught onto your flustered yet restrained reaction and his hyena like chortles continue.

“Can you sit up?” You ask.

His dry lips parted. He took in a breath.

“Ha-!” Was as far as Jiraiya got.

He broke out into a horrible coughing fit. It sounds like he’s choking on something. You rush to his side and roll him over. If he’s on his side he can safely cough up whatever is caught in his throat. It looks like a painful process. The best you can do is rub his back as he coughs. Eventually he retches up a congealed glob of blood.

It’s dark, so it’s old. Must have been from his battle, a bit of blood that had caught in his throat and remained there until he could properly eject it. There’s nothing to worry about. Still so you double check his body with the same method as before. His wounds are undisturbed. You use the cloth to wipe off the spatter of spit and blood that stained his lips before containing the blob in the cloth itself. You toss it all into the bin.

The fit had caused Lord Jiraiya to be a shaky mess. His face is cringed up in pain. His complexion is grey again. His breathing is loud and he’s all sweaty. You sit on an inch of mattress by his hip. It’s... not professional, but you play with his hair. Strands of it are stuck to his mouth and lashes. You push it back so you can see more of his face. He had his eyes clenched and jaw tight. It formed quite the grimace. Then he went limp. Weakness from his fit had sunk into his body.

“You’ll be alright.” You assure again. “I’ll go get you some water.”

A wheezy groan was all he managed to reply with. You stand and take the first step to get new supplies. A weak grip around your wrist stalled you. You turn to see Jiraiya trying to hold on.

“Relax, milord. I’ll be right back.” You tell him.

“Ahh.....”

He let go, having had succumbed to the consequences of his fit. You leave the room. Not for long. You return with aid to help you get him properly fixed up. By that point he had returned his slumber.

Day five... Jiraiya is doing quite well. He’s sitting up by himself. He’s eating. He’s surprisingly in okay spirits. He lost his non dominant arm, so he’s still able to do basic tasks. He’s using paper and pen to write his words rather than speak them. He’s been quite insistent that you drop all titles and simply refer to him by his name. He always crinkled his nose whenever you called him with his title. Lordliness wasn’t exactly his style, as he put it. He smiles when you call him by his name, as if the simple gesture meant worlds to him.

Jiraiya has some admirable qualities to him. This is the first time you have interacted with him so closely. Now that he is more awake and aware you have began to learn about the type of person he is. He didn’t like being too serious about things. He’d much rather make you smile than be all gloomy about his situation. He’s also a determined man.

He ignores his call button for medication. He endures the pain rather than having it numbed. You’ve grown accustomed to coming around every two hours to administer his dose for him. He frowns when you do. Sometimes he pouts. He’ll write you and ask why a pretty lady like you must harm him so. He breathes through clenched teeth and tenses whenever you inject him. Maybe he just doesn’t like needles.

Day seven and Lady Tsunade had finally visited him. They were both fairly quiet. Jiraiya didn’t have much of a choice. Tsunade didn’t seem to have much to say. She sat beside him, mostly in silence. You aren’t sure what they spoke about. You didn’t eavesdrop. It’s not your place to be so nosy.

When she left and you were asked to assist him, he was quiet. Well... he’s always quiet but this was a different quiet. He wasn’t as animated. He usually smiles at you. He’ll write to you about what he wants to talk about. But today he didn’t even pick up his pen. The pages he may have filled talking to his friend are crumpled up and held tightly in his fist. He stared out the window, jaw tight and eyes steeled from setting free whatever slew of emotions he’s going through. He didn’t even acknowledge you... Not even when you gave him his dose.

Day ten was a better day.

“Don’t move.” You whisper with a smile.

Jiraiya raises a brow at you. He inhales and holds it with a dramatic raise of his shoulders. Between the blades of the scissors you place a piece of the bandage. These scissors could cut off fingers hence your lighthearted warning. It was mostly a joke but if he adjusts while you snip your might catch his skin. You snip the bandages. He’s well enough to no longer need of bindings. With the assistance of chakra aided healing his wounds have closed.

In your studio of sorts, you unravel Jiraiya’s torso from its bandage prison. He’s still a mess even if he has claimed victory over one feat. He’s still barred from showering as his freshly formed scar tissue is still tender enough to break if he scrubs too hard. It’s a stretch to even call it scar tissue. It’s red delicate late term scabs, picking at them could make them bleed. Even if the deeper wounds are healed the surface is still quite delicate. He’s still bound to muteness. Not for much longer. His vitals are strong enough to be considered for his larynx surgery, which Lady Tsunade had finally figured out a solution.

“There. A free man once again.” You joke.

Usually Jiraiya smiles or wheezes the best laugh he can. He always laughs when he can but recently he’s not so smiley. He has been a little down since whatever he spoke about with her ladyship had dampened his spirits. There’s even some evidence that he hasn’t been sleeping. Whatever he spoke about with his friend was troubling him greatly. You aren’t close enough to ask about it. The best you and do is try and get him to smile. His tired eyes are on his reflection, paying you no more mind.

In the physical therapy studio attached to the hospital, there are many mirrors. Wall to wall like a dance studio. The point being the same. So your patients can watch their form during their session. Today is Jiraiya’s first session. He’s scheduled for basics. Breathing exercises. Perhaps test the full range of his mobility now that he’s able to move. Even try out a prosthetic if he wishes.

He stands and walks closer to the mirrors. You remain where you are to watch him. His expression isn’t exactly sad, but it’s clear he’s not happy either. He raises his hand and put it on his chest. That spot was where one of the rods was pierced deep in his flesh. It’s a fresh scar over an old one. You don’t know the story of that scar.

It’s a terrible scar. It was like a child’s attempt at drawing a swirl and lightning at the same time. It twists and runs from the centre of his torso before scattering in thick uneven zigzags all over the front of his torso. Now there’s an oval over one of the zags between his pectorals. It would have been pulled closed and stitched as any seen to wound would be, but the scar tissue already there wasn’t as elastic as fresh skin and resisted the pull of the stitches.

There’s another red mark on his right shoulder just right before the joint that connects his arm to his shoulder. If a little to the right he wouldn’t have that arm either. Or at the very least it wouldn’t be fully functional. His hand drags down his skin, following the paths the mix of scars made. Specifically he is inspecting his new scars. He nearly flinched when touching the amputation scar of what was left of his left bicep. That area will be sensitive for some time. The deep trauma and possible phantom pains will haunt him for who knows how long. It’s three scars. Three curved lines that intercept in the centre. It was the best way to sew it up. But at the moment you can’t help but think they should’ve done it differently to lessen his scarring.

The last he touched the line on his left hip. Out of all of his newly acquired battle scars, it was the smallest. He looks himself over again at a slowly before moving on. His eyes are careful to look over the aftermath with careful attention. It’s all new to him. Yet familiar. Then Jiraiya pushed his hair over his shoulder before craning his neck to see how his back fared. That too now is scarred. With lines leftover from the doctors’ work. Thankfully he didn’t have stubborn old scar tissue that wouldn’t pull close on his back. All that was there were thin lines that would line up with the punctures and hopefully will fade better than what’s on his front.

You remain silent as you watch him inspect. It’s odd to see Jiraiya so off put by his appearance. He’s usually so confident and sure of himself. The type of person that struts and flaunts cuz they know they’re handsome even if others don’t agree. It probably didn’t help his hair is filthy with dirt and blood. He’s different from the man he was last he looked in a mirror. He stared at his hand for a few moments, as if he was deciding something. After a moment he touched his throat. You aren’t a mind reader, but anyone can see what he’s thinking.

“Soon I’ll have another one.”

Part of your job is to comfort your patients. Retraining the body is hard. Lots of your patients have had times of doubt, pain, and hopelessness. A lot of them react like this too. The scars can be a lot for some. You are there to boost them. Pick them up when they’re down. If you don’t they tend to stay down. You grab the shirt that match the standard set of hospital pyjamas he’s wearing. The top is a button up and is open fully. You drape it over his shoulders and smile.

“You’re still quite a handsome man.” You tell him with a fully confident smile. “Ladies like a man with scars.”

A small smile pulled on Jiraiya’s lips. Some of that misery left. Even if it is just a little, it makes you feel good. His eyes look best when they’re happy. The shroud over them now isn’t suited to him. It somehow made his black eyes even darker. Like the night sky when it’s cloudy. A pitch black void that hid the real mystique of something so complex and pretty. His lips have been moving in a silent reply. It took a few moments of staring but you finally figured out what he’s mouthing to you.

“You really think so?”

“Yes,” you reply with a nod. “I think you’re pretty hot.”

His eyes widen. A moment later to see his cheeks gain a blush. You tilt your head in curiosity. Did you just make Jiraiya bashful? He looks a mix of flattered and embarrassed. It’s only a simple compliment. Yet it seems he really took it to heart.

It’s not professional... but you linger closer than you should. You smile and touch the oval scar on his chest. He’s somewhat used to it, since you give him a checkup every day. But you never touched it like this before. Where you are touching it just because. Today he placed his hand over yours and his smile grew.

It made your heart skip a beat.

Day twelve... it was odd. Good odd.

You noticed something whenever Jiraiya was with you. He kept scratching at his scalp and grimacing whenever getting a look at his hair. He can’t shower... but you can help. Jiraiya is a good student that’s always on time with his sessions. So you got some time to get something together before he shows up.

He took to his lessons quite well. Running on the treadmill put a smile on his face. It’s clear being able to move again has boosted his spirits. He tries to push himself but you must stop him from accidentally doing more harm than good to his healing body. He pouts at you when you turn down the equipment after he turns it up.

It’s a requirement that those who suffer limb loss must learn how to use a prosthetic, but he didn’t really like it. His excuse was that it hurt his amputation too much and he’s doing fine functioning without an arm.

You have learned something about him that makes him... endearing. Working with Jiraiya so often has made you learn how he functioned as a student. He’s like a lot of your much younger patients. He likes to have some degree of fun. Doing some of the breathing exercises disguised as games got him enthusiastic to do it on his own time. He wanted to race paper clips only using puffs of air with you at least once a day when you check on him. Anything to cure his boredom. He wanted you around more often. To talk. To spend time. Doing little things that makes the day go by. It’s something you look forward to. It makes the long shifts at the hospital much more enjoyable.

Jiraiya holds your hand when he’s sleepy and you’re there to check on him. His medication had to be switched and it made him tired more often. It makes you feel strangely. A good strange. The way he smiles at you makes your heart flutter. No one has ever smiled at you like that before. Sometimes you think about those lips of his doing other things to you. They look soft and pleasantly warm.

What were you doing again?

You blink as you lost focus on your task. The kettle is squealing as it boiled. You take it off of its heat pad and walk over to the bowl on the floor. You stole both of these things from the nurse’s break room. The bowl was big enough to plunk a head in. Hopefully it’s big enough to hold most of Jiraiya’s hair. You pour the hot water into the bowl. After so long it would be doubtful that Jiraiya would want icy cold water to be drenched in.

Your beloved patient entered right on time. Jiraiya stopped beside the exercise bench you are kneeled at. He looked at you and the bowl, confusion very clear in his expression.

“You still can’t shower, but I can at least clean your hair.” You explain. You patted the bench to invite him to lay down. “Come on.”

Jiraiya looked reluctant, but after a little bit of convincing him that he will feel much better with clean hair he did lay down. You gathered up his long mane of hair and dunked as much as possible into the hot water. The pleased sigh that left him told the truth of how badly he wanted this. When you scratched at his scalp, making sure to really get those spots he was always ruffling he let a scratchy sounding groan.

The noises he made were almost explicit. Groans and moans of pleasure. They only got louder when you shampooed it. He really did want to get clean. You must be scratching at places he couldn’t quite reach as he was oh so happy to have you get into those crannies. His toes curl a few times.

It’s a little hard not to enjoy this. Seeing him so pleasured by something you’re doing is exciting you. You indulged him as much as you could, freeing his hair of all the old filth and restoring it, enjoying his appreciative gestures maybe a tad too much. He’s kinda cute when he’s grinning so lewdly over such a simple thing. Honestly he’s just... cute. You could do this all day. If only you didn’t have other patients to assist today.

Alas you can only drag it out for so long. The water is getting cold. You wash the suds and dirt away with a mug you also stole... you’ll clean it.

It was satisfying to clean his hair. The slight grey it has turned was banished as it finally returned to the brilliant white it was supposed to be. It was fun to play with. Jiraiya has long luscious locks that are begging to be played with. He liked it too. When you check on him and he’s napping, you always reach out to brush away the hair from his face. He always adjusts slightly in his slumber and smiles. Now you get to really rake your fingers through it and place some twists in it before releasing. It’s pleasing a need you hadn’t fully realized you had. What would he look like with braids? Maybe one day you can convince him to let you braid his hair.

You towelled off his hair the best you could. Jiraiya sat back up and took over from there. He ruffled his hair with the towel. You look down at the water out of curiosity. It’s dirtier than you expected. You probably still missed some of the dirt, but he was happy. If he’s happy you’re happy. He shook his head like a dog does when they get wet. Then he shook it out more slowly, letting the long locks fall down his back naturally. He turned around to look at you.

Jiraiya’s expression changed. His smile of appreciation faded into something peculiar. It was bewilderment mixed with a realization. He’s staring into your eyes as if trying to read your every thought. His cheeks gain a rosy hue. His lips part and he inhaled.

“Hai-!”

He choked and coughed. You sat beside him and rubbed his back. That must hurt like hell. His lungs are still recovering, it must be painful to cough like that in their condition. After the attack he laid down.

You tensed as his head landed right on your lap. His tired eyes closed. He’s panting like he ran a marathon and his complexion had turned pale again from the stress the fit put on his body. While he relaxes, you stare. The heat on your cheeks was enough to light a fire. You sigh out your tension and relax. You hesitantly place your hand in his hair, petting back the damp locks away from his face. Slowly a smile forms on Jiraiya’s lips. His body relaxes with a large sigh.

A small smile grows on your lips too. A warm tingly feeling prickles along your skin. He’s so close.

Day sixteen... Sigh.

What are you doing anymore? You adjust the pillow under Jiraiya’s neck. In response he groans in a weak wheezy tone. You get lost in staring at his peaceful face for a moment. Something about it makes you happy. He’s still unconscious after his surgery. His throat has a medical pad taped over it to catch any blotting. It went well.

His surgery was a major success. It went as well as Lady Tsunade could have predicted. She handled all the delicate work herself. Her phobias of blood are so easily set aside when it came to saving someone she loves. Her determination is quite inspiring to watch.

How do you know all of this? Because you were there. As a physical therapist, surgery is far from your expertise. You have never performed it nor are you qualified but you are still a doctor.... and Jiraiya wanted you to go in.

You helped get him prepped for the event as it seems your presence calms him. He was nervous. He kept glancing at you with a pink tint to his cheeks and shifting in his bed. If he could talk you’d imagine that he would be asking questions about his surgery like any person would. Instead of talking you simply held his hand and smiled at him. That seemed to slightly calm his worries and but he was still antsy. You accompanied him to as far as you could, which was just outside of the surgery room. You broke away from his bed with the intention of waiting outside but he grabbed your hand. He stared at you with a silent question.

“Come in with me?”

Lady Tsunade said she was okay with you being there so long as you didn’t get in the way. You had some minor knowledge and training in anesthesia so you assisted in that area. You didn’t want to be a burden or totally useless during the procedure.

Jiraiya was... well he... well... he watched you. His gaze on you the whole time he was put under. The calmness was nice yet a little eerie. He wasn’t scared anymore. Was he anxious about asking you to come in? The moment you scrubbed in and stayed with him he has been completely relaxed. His fingers brushed against yours. You held his hand. He smiled at you. You couldn’t resist squeezing his hand and pushing back those stubborn baby hairs that like to stick to his skin.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” You promised him.

He nodded, looking completely at peace. His eyes grew heavy. He exhaled deeply and the grip on your hand went lax. He was successfully put under with no hiccups. That’s always a good sign. By the time you adjusted his head to the proper place and looked up, the surgeons were looking at you. They were watching the exchange, a knowing in their amused eyes. Lucky you had a mask on. They couldn’t see your blush. Lady Tsunade tutted her tongue and rolled her eyes before beginning the process.

Rumours spread fast in a hospital. Soon the nurses on this floor were bumping their elbow against your arm and wiggling their brows at you. You like Lord Jiraiya. You had to quietly tell them that he’s just Jiraiya to you. They burst into giggles and behave like they’re giddy children. They’re teasing you. What’s worse is they’re right.

You do like him. He may not be able to speak, but he’s easy to understand. He writes down his thoughts to you all the time. He has the most contagious grin. His positivity around you boosts your day. When his eyes are on you all you feel is warmth. He’s good looking too. You’ve dreamt about kissing him and tracing his scars while telling him how pretty he is.

It’s very unprofessional. You probably shouldn’t be his caretaker anymore. Technically there’s no strict rules about these kinds of things. It’s slightly frowned upon but you can date your patient if you wish. It’s just a matter if Jiraiya actually likes you back.

You sigh again. You sound like a child. Does a boy like you back? You gotta deal with your friends teasing you about liking that boy. Warm fingers touch yours. You look down to see the hazy gaze of your crush looking at you. He’s awoken from his medically induced sleep.

“Hnn.. Aahhh.” Jiraiya weakly tried to speak.

“Hush.” You advise. “You shouldn’t try to speak right away. Your vocal chords are still very sensitive. You might do more harm than good if you try too early.”

He frowns. A certain amount of desperation is in his eyes. It’s like he had something very important to say to you. His hand grasped yours more firmly. He placed your hand over his chest and he kept trying to speak. You keep hushing him.

It’s hard to even tell what he’s saying. His voice is hoarse and scratchy. It’s hard to listen to.

“Whatever you have to say it can wait.” You urge.

“Haaaii... Aaaaiii... Aaahh!” Jiraiya grit his teeth and grimaced as he kept trying.

With your free hand you caress his cheek and shush him again. You pull away the locks of hair that’s blocking the edges of his pretty face. You’re right over him now, your face only an inch from his. You keep whispering the same thing. His voice gets quieter. But as he grows quieter, you finally understand what he’s trying to say.

He’s doing his best to say your name. It’s hard to listen to, but at the same time it’s so wonderful. He’s getting frustrated. It’s clear he wants to say more. He can’t. His brow furrows as his mouth hangs open on a wheezing note he cannot hold.

“It‘s okay, Jiraiya. You can tell me later.” You say.

Jiraiya shook his head. He let your hand go. For a moment you are disappointed. It was nice having him hold your hand. He grabbed the back of your head and pushed you down. Your lips collide with his. It was messy. It lacked finesse. Your teeth bump against his. His lips are devouring yours. It expressed how much he wanted to do that.

You broke it slowly, leaning backwards at a slow pace to savour it. That... was unexpected. It was good. You just realized that you’re smiling. Your cheeks are warm. Jiraiya ran the back of his fingers down your cheek. He’s in a state similar to you.

“D... D-Daaa...” He stuttered with his weak voice. He placed his thumb over your lips to keep you from hushing him again. He steeled his gaze with determination. “Date?”

Your first response is to chuckle. The very first word Jiraiya says and it’s to ask you if you’d like to date him. For some reason it is amusing. There are much better words to say.

“I’d like that.” You reply.

He wheezes out a laugh. You lose your balance when he pulled on you. You land on top of him and he holds you there. As bold as ever he runs his hand down your back and cups your ass. You squeak in his grasp. This is escalated quickly! He’s surprisingly strong even in this half drugged state. You didn’t fight his grip. In fact you melted into it. You place your hands around the back of his neck into his hair. It was hard to keep kissing him. He could hardly stop grinning. Neither could you.

All those days led to now. Eighteen days of recovery.

The village... is in chaos.

People are dying. Buildings are collapsing. There’s strange men invading your home and taking it down with ease. You swallow nervously. You grip harder. You can’t take your eyes off of him.

A man with cold unusual purple eyes. Paler than death. Tall. Emotionless. He stares at you unblinking and unmoving. It took so much to make it this far. You grabbed Jiraiya’s hand and dragged him away from the hospital. You had only one goal in mind as you tried to get him away from this battle.

You won’t let Jiraiya get hurt by these people again.

“Move.” You whisper. “You have no use for us.”

The man doesn’t say anything. Just standing in front of him is terrifying. There’s something so exposing about being so close to someone so... dead. There’s no human expression there. It’s so uncanny to stare at a human face and see no emotions to it.

You grip onto Jiraiya tighter. You are shielding him. Although that term seems... odd. You are much shorter and frail than any ninja. That included Jiraiya. Even in the state that he’s in he could outfight you. You have no battle skills or experience. It must seem somewhat comical to stand so sure before one of the men who had cut him down. If these people took down a Sannin what chance do you have? You don’t have any. You don’t really care. You won’t leave him behind.

“Where is Naruto Uzumaki?” The man asked, staring not at you but at Jiraiya.

“I... I-I don’t know.” Jiraiya replies in his hoarse quiet voice. “E... Ee.. Even if I-I did, I wo... wouldn’t tell y-you.”

It’s still hard to hear him speak. While he’s doing well in therapy, he still sounds awful. It’s weak and struggles to make more than a few words at a time. His stuttering was more due to him forcing himself to continue to talk. It improves everyday.

The unnaturally still human didn’t show a response. Not annoyance or anger as most are when given that answer. He looks back down at you. All the nerves in your body jump, as if they wish to leap out of your very skin. They are screaming for you to get away. But you won’t. Not without Jiraiya.

“Do you care about this woman, sensei?”

Jiraiya sucked in a breath. He tensed. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. Your back presses against his chest. You can feel his hammering heartbeat. He’s worried about you.

He... He shouldn’t be. You are in charge of him. It’s your duty to protect your patients. Even if the only date you managed to go on with this man was sharing his hospital food on his bed. The most you got about your feelings about him is through a few quiet confessions. You called him pretty. You like his odd habits. But if it came down to it... you’d still sacrifice yourself. If not for duty, then for love. It would be a death you’d proudly take.

You clench your eyes shut. The intimidating presence of the man is looming closer to you. You’ll surely die. It’s a process you don’t want to watch even if it is considered cowardly. It may not be professional, but you aren’t technically a ninja anyways. There’s a noise of metal grazing against something. Like a sword being dragged along grass.

The air is taken from you. Not in a way you expect. Jiraiya pulled you back. You are suddenly running blindly behind him. You open your eyes and stagger to find footing to keep up with him. He’s heading out of the village. He’s aiming for the cover of trees. His long strides are hard to keep up with. Your legs are shorter than his but he’s determined to book it as far as he can with you. His breathing becomes more wheezing as he pushes himself.

He slowed down. You stop beside him. You rub his back as he tries to catch his breath. It may be a tad... funny. He’s beat his personal best since recovery. Why your brain has monitored it at this moment, you aren’t sure. You don’t know how to process anything right now. Running past all the ruin of your home was shocking. Death lining the streets in the form of bodies and shattered buildings. Perhaps the familiar habits is all you have to hold onto the memory of what your home was before it got ruined.

Jiraiya straightened himself out. He looked at you with a mix of things. From worry to even admiration. He smiles at you. With his hand he caressed your cheek and wiped away something off of your cheek. Maybe dirt. Maybe tears. You can’t really feel your face at the moment. The adrenaline is numbing you to it.

Alas the high does come down. As you calm, you feel more. No one had followed you or him. It’s quiet. For a moment it almost seems peaceful. Birds are singing, blissfully unaware of the horrors happening not far away. There’s a warm breeze in the air as if it’s a normal sunny day.

“Y.. You were wi.. willing to-!” Jiraiya struggles to say it. Whether it’s because of his sore healing throat or the emotion that was choking him, you can’t tell.

You smile at him and return the tender gesture he’s doing to you. You tuck some of his hair behind his ear. It’s a small thing you began to do for him. He likes having his hair played with. It always gives you an excuse to be near him and touch his face.

“It’s okay. Let’s not talk right now.” You say. “Your throat must be aching.”

His fingers gentle dragged down your face, pulling on your lips before releasing. He put his hand over yours. His eyes fall close as he savours your touch. He’s behaving as if you were medically declared dead but came back to life by miracle. Much like how he had. You must mean more to him than you thought.

You rise on your tippy toes and manage to reach his lips with yours. You give him a small peck. To which he leaned towards you to keep it going for longer. He guided your arm to sling around his neck and he held you close. How he’s kissing you is conveying all he feels in that moment.

The flapping of wings broke the majesty of the moment. Jiraiya broke the kiss suddenly and snapped his head in the direction of the sound. His eyes watch with an acutely alert interest as the song birds that were once peacefully singing their tunes had fled in flocks. They’re flying the opposite way of the village.

“What?” You ask.

“D... Danger!”

Danger? He grabbed your hand more firmly and made to follow the birds. But it was too late. There was a rumble, deep and mighty. As if the earth was shifting from a deep slumber. It’s followed by a strong wind.

You are yanked off your feet. Jiraiya pulled you against him and he crouched down. He’s now your shield. Your vision gets clouded by the dirt and debris that followed whatever insane force that caused the wind. It kept battering the man holding you. Things began to ricochet off of his hair as if it were made of steel. There’s a loud groan as a tree was pulled from its roots. You watched it fall towards you. Fear gripped you like icy fingers squeezing your heart. You watch in horror as it gets closer. The most you manage to do was gasp.

Then darkness followed.

Awakening again was... shocking. You figured death had made its final debut with that tree. You are in a shelter. A tent. Laying in dirt with a familiar button up pyjama top laid over top of you. You aren’t alone. There are other people around you. The smell of ointments and wound wash is a familiar but no less nasty of a perfume. The soft groans of pain from several voices is also quite telling. Sitting up and looking around revealed your hunch to be true. It’s a medical tent full of the injured. A temporary shelter when no hospital is available.

You stand, feeling nothing but a few lingering aches in your legs and back. You’ll live. You pull the shirt around your shoulders, the smell and warmth of it is the only comforting thing around. It’s Jiraiya’s shirt. The one from the hospital. You exit the tent, navigating the rows of patients was simple, pulling up the flap was a tad harder. You lack your normal strength. Outside are a mix of ninja and citizens. A hubbub of people pulling together to do what they can. Sawdust and rice is in the much fresher outside air.

There are some frames up for new houses among the tents. People are moving along like this was the norm. There’s no where to really start. Nothing is familiar aside from the people. You move into the makeshift streets as you seek out one person. The only person you want to see.

Quite surprisingly, you find Jiraiya quickly. He’s among a crowd of his colleagues. They’ve collected around him, as if awaiting him to make some sort of command. He looks a tad reluctant to be under their attention.

What sticks out immediately is that he’s okay. He’s got some bandages wrapped around his arm, but other than that he’s fine. He’s even got on different clothes, where he got them... you got no clue. A few people have on something similar. Which is the most basic kimono of a solid colour and made of cheap linen. Some were even patchwork of all the colours the others are made of. Perhaps someone had brought them as a donation to help whatever this situation is? It’s nice to finally see him out of his hospital pyjamas. He looks good in navy.

His distracted gaze is looking around. He doesn’t look fully invested in whatever his comrades are talking about. His eyes land on you for a moment before moving on. Then they return, snapping back to you as he realized you were there.

Jiraiya maintained eye contact with you for several moments, as if he wasn’t sure he was totally sane seeing you there. Relief followed once it sunk it. He exclaimed your name before running towards you. The crowd spit to let him go unobstructed. Their eyes landed on you too. They smile.

You braced for impact. Jiraiya still almost knocked you over. He held you tightly, uttering your name like you’ve been gone from his life for years. You hug him back. He’s so warm. His hug feels like it has healing properties.

“I was w-worried about you.” He whispered.

“I’m okay.” You reply. You pull back so you can look at his face. “Your voice sounds better.”

He huffs a laugh before kissing you. Your hands rest in his fluffy hair as you kiss him back. There’s a few hoots and cheers as his friends witness the reunion. The kiss breaks when his lips pull into a grin.

“Sorry, they’re a bunch of clowns.”

“It’s fine. There are worse ways they could be reacting.”

He chuckles before kissing you again. He held your hand and escorted you back to his awaiting pack, where he officially introduced you to them. It seems he’s told them stories. His face got a tad red when he admitted to talking about it. All his stories were about the kind doctor that made his transition back into normal life so great. Yet life didn’t seem so normal.

You were filled in on the details. You’ve been unconscious for four days. Apparently something hit you hard on the head during that wind storm. The camp is what is left of Konoha. The rubble of the old buildings was cleared away and this concave crater in the ground where the camp is laid is where the village once stood. The blast that had knocked you out was what turned this wonderful place into dust. At the moment, Konoha was more like a refugee site than a village. But her people are strong. They will survive.

It’s odd that Jiraiya is doing so much. He’s hardly in any condition to be giving orders. But you learned that Lady Tsunade was in a grave state after expending almost all her energy to the extent of it almost taking her life to save the lives of her people. She’s still in bad shape and unconscious.

People were looking to Jiraiya simply for the fact that he was her colleague. Her friend. Someone of same values and strengths. But he wasn’t named her successor. Yet again he refused to take it. Danzo had taken the mantle and was away to see the other kage for a meeting between all of them. Jiraiya was more or less just a stand in. He was caring for his people while the leader was away. Although... it seems he wasn’t accepting Danzo as his leader. He was against it and got rather heated when he spoke of it. Plenty of others were on his side. It seems a lot of people were upset by the choice.

What calmed him down was being around you. While the threat of war was really starting to fester, he found comfort with you. It seems Jiraiya was finally drained when it came to conflict. He didn’t have it in him to fight anymore. He can’t really anyways. Without an arm he can’t form any seals. It seems he’s more comfortable trying to build a more peaceful life with you. He still helps anyway he can, but it bothers him that he can’t be in the fray with his friends and loved ones. It’s an internal struggle. He’d rather be left out... but not entirely. He wants to do something he’s just not quite sure what that is.

You do what any girlfriend would want to do for their boyfriend. You distract him. With kisses and conversations about anything in the world. It’s much more fun to talk about the things that make him happy than watch him be miserable. He has plans for writing a new book. He likes fried chicken. He’s got a habit of smoking when he needs to brainstorm about something. Which isn’t all that bad. While you are a doctor and know the grim statistics of such a habit, he does it so rarely that his probabilities of long term harm are quite low. Plus it’s kinda nice to kiss him and taste that hint of smoke.

From what you did know about him before getting involved was that Jiraiya quite likes hot springs. Not just for pretty naked women around, but the supposed healing properties of the water. He likes the warmth and minerals that seep into his muscles and undo the stress. The steam that clears the head. Those kinds of things.

“Where are we going?” Jiraiya asks.

His voice is back to normal. If still a tad quiet. He can’t raise it without it being quite painful. Apparently he spent a lot of time doing his voice therapy you taught him as he waited for you or Tsunade to wake up. His laugh was different. Naruto had described it as loud and cheery enough to brighten up those on their worst days. With a throat unable to withstand such volume, Jiraiya now is stuck with a less wheezy version of the chuckles he often did while in recovery. It’s still a good laugh. It’s lovely to listen to. His whole chest moves with it, it is very nice to hug him and feel the rattle of his chest as he laughs.

“I found a place I think you’ll really like.” You answer. You turn around and hold his hand with both of yours. “I know you’ve been stressed. I want to help.”

Jiraiya tilts his head and smiles. He looks amused and appreciative of your thought process. He follows without anymore questions. You lead him further away from the settlement into the calm darkness of the woods at night. Only people born and raised here are at ease in such an environment. The sudden smell of humidity and warmth alerted him to what you are doing.

What was left of the natural hot springs that fed into the bathhouses of Konoha was mostly still in tact. The small waterfall that led from a deep mountain crevasse was still flowing unobstructed into a more wonky shaped pool. The upper one was fine. The lower was obliterated. It seems someone had taken the time to repair the hole in the dam so that the pool would stay filled.

“Do you like it?” You ask.

“I love it. I could use a good soak.” Jiraiya replied with a smile.

“Your hair could be cleaned again too.”

He frowns at you. A light blush grows on his cheeks. You’ve teased him a few times about how he reacted when you washed his hair. Now that the weird awkward phase of the relationship was over and it’s been nothing but getting more comfortable, it’s easier to make jokes about it. Especially now since he lets you play with his hair all the time.

You make the first move, grabbing the sash that’s holding his kimono together. Your heart is pounding as you pull on the knot. Jiraiya puts his hand along your hip. He moves his fingers underneath the fabric of your shirt, touching your bare skin.

“Is it really fair that you get to undress me again? I haven’t seen you naked once.” He mused.

“That doesn’t count!” You complain. You get flustered as he snickers at you. “Hospital service is hardly sexy!”

“Oh I don’t know about that. Waking up to a pretty lady pulling my pants off is a sexy way to wake up.”

You huff and puff your cheeks out in a pout. Jiraiya continued you laugh at your expense before giving you a kiss. He pulled you close against him, grabbing the hem of your shirt and lifting it. You raise your arms to make it easier and he strips you of your shirt. Once you are you untie his sash.

It’s good to undress him not in a hospital. He looks good healthy. He smells nice. Odd to say maybe, but for the longest time he smelt like ointment and blood. There’s something comforting about not smelling all the sterile scents that a hospital has on him. It’s a sign that he’s doing okay. It’s nice to be with a Jiraiya that is living a life free of all of that. Sure you helped a little, but you won’t take credit. It was mostly Lady Tsunade who pulled this man together. You just got him used to the new lifestyle his retired one armed life is now. You pull the robe off his shoulders and the material falls off of him. Pretty. Rugged but not unpleasant.

To your surprise Jiraiya looks hesitant. As if doubtful in himself. It’s a subtle presence. A shade in his eyes and a timid hunch in his shoulders. Is he embarrassed? About what? He’s built like a god... He’s been blessed with a full package deal. Strong, tall, handsome, a quirky personality, and endowed enough to please any woman. He sheepishly scratches at the back of his head which is accompanied by his most bashful of smiles.

“Sorry... I’m not much look at now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well uh... I don’t know.” He muttered as he looked away from you. His hand rested on the overlapping scars on his chest. “I guess I don’t feel as confident as I was before this.” His hand traveled over to what he usually affectionately calls his stump. “I mean just look at me. It tells a sad story doesn’t it?”

It does bug him more than he lets on. You put your hands on his shoulders. He raised his gaze back up to meet yours. His face is grim as if he’s expecting you to flatly agree.

“I don’t think it’s a sad story.” You say. “It’s a story of triumph. You survived everything life threw at you. That’s something you should be proud of.” You lean closer and rise on your toes to give him a kiss. To which he received with a palpable gratitude. “I think you’re still hot.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Remember what I said? A few scars won’t scare me away.”

Jiraiya huffs out a laugh. That rosy colour is back on his cheeks. He placed his hand on your cheek and guided you into another kiss. You move your hands so that you’re embracing him. His hand runs through your hair before moving it down your body. He began to play with your pants. You help him take them off, your lips occupied by his the whole time.

Once nude, Jiraiya pushed you towards the water. A gentle soft push that you went along with willingly. You step into the water and he joins you. It’s very shallow. Only up to mid shin. It’s not much but it’s good enough. You kneel down with him in the warm water.

One thing led exactly where it was meant to go. There was a few rough moments. Jiraiya flinched a few times when you touched the scar leftover from his amputation. It was a mixture of the sensitive nerves and bad memories flaring up. He got so red when you paid so much attention to his other scars. You stayed away from his bicep and focused mostly on his torso. They weren’t as sensitive.

It was wonderful. His touch is gentle. He cried your name. He apologized a few times. You hushed him because there’s nothing to apologize for. He still got you off and you got him off. The time spent afterwards wasn’t strange or uncomfortable. You laid next to him with head propped up on the rim of the pool. It’s a cloudless sky. The stars had never looked so pretty.

“Can I confess something?” Jiraiya spoke suddenly.

“Of course you can. You can tell me anything.”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

The air was stolen from you. You stare at him as he stares at you. His face is serious but the smallest of smiles was present on his face. Whatever stress was on his mind was gone, or at least forgotten for now. He’s confident in his words. He reached over to you and caressed your face.

“Without you I wouldn’t be where I am.” He continued. “I’m... happy with you.”

“I was just doing my job.”

“You did more than that.” He rolls over, using his one hand to help him move closer to you. You roll as well to face him fully to make it easier on him. “If not for you I don’t think I would have made it as far as I have.”

You rest your hands on his chest. You rub up and down, enjoying how... alive he is. Warm with a beating heart. A kind and joyful presence. He changed your life. He makes you feel special. He’s the first person in your life to do something like that.

“I love you too.” You say softly.

Jiraiya let’s out a loud breath. He smiles. You are taken by surprise with a passionate kiss. You hold him as he does so.

Time went on as peacefully as it could. With bad news coming down with worse news, all one can do is try to do what they can. You helped the injured, healing what injuries you could and being an aid to those more experienced in more advanced healing jutsu. You aided those who needed additional therapy, for both physical needs and the occasional mental. Jiraiya was more or less the leader stand in. He grew to enjoy his role, taking care of his people was rewarding. Coming to you every night to hold and provide the best of comforts was something he looked forward to.

He still looked conflicted hearing how the fighting was going. It just sounded confusing and exhausting. The only thing that put him at ease was hearing that Naruto was thriving under the pressure and the people he loves aren’t dead. All he could do was hope for their safe return.

Time just keeps going. It’s fairly boring when not directly in the fight. Helping in any way is the best you and your partner can do. Just ensuring that the home you love keeps getting rebuilt and the people are doing well is all you could ask for. If you keep it up with him at your side, there will be no need for long hard recovery anymore. Not for the villagers. Not for the ninja. Not for the world. 

Then there was a time... where things got all... smudged together. Like when stuck in a state of awake but not quite there. Where it all seemed strange but welcoming. As if being hugged by someone you love but haven’t seen in a long time.

What you saw when that moon... when dreams and reality where blurred. When living a waking utopia was suddenly real... well...

You don’t really like to think about it.

You’re living it now. Sometimes when you think too hard you fear it is just a dream. A peaceful life with someone you love does feel too good to be true some days. 

Life couldn’t be more perfect. It’s a peace built from many sacrifices. Because of that it must be cherished. Even a quiet afternoon like this is a blessing, no matter how normal it is now. You glance to the clock after checking on dinner. A thoughtful hum leaves your throat as you consider your next move. You now live in a small cottage home within Konoha with your husband and two fur babies, Kumo and Fuyu. With a garden you care too much about filled with vegetables and flowers. It’s the type of life you always wanted.

You began to make your way to the small office space your husband often spends his time in. It took some convincing to adopt some animals, but Jiraiya eventually gave in. As peace continued to thrive he relaxed. He allowed himself to bask in it. To enjoy every aspect of it without fear it will end.

The retired sage enjoyed his simple life now. He’s proud of the legacy he left behind. The people carrying the torch are doing so with care and poise. There’s no need for him to fight anymore. He has a wonderful wife that supports him. He wears comfy simple kimonos everyday. He’s a writer full time. Finally he lives in a world where he can pursue his real passion without interruption. At the moment he’s reading over his most recent edit. His hand needs the break from writing. Kumo is purring up a storm in his lap as he offers the old sap some head scratches.

The white cat is a lot like him. Large, likes to be pet, enjoys lots of attention from you, and missing a limb. He was the first fuzzball you convinced him to adopt. You had fallen in love with Kumo once you saw all the similarities between the kitty and your husband. Fuyu was a street kitty that was getting picked on by some kids just outside of the house and Jiraiya ended up saving the little thing. She’s petite and fur the colour of coal. It wasn’t so hard to figure out why she was getting picked on. Such superstition now a days is so silly.

Jiraiya never figured himself a man to like cats but there’s something enjoyable about taking care of a mostly independent animal. Both Kumo and Fuyu are fairly easy to take care of. They did their own thing most of the time. Kumo was the more cuddly of the two. Fuyu more of a windowsill percher people watcher. Her sleek black tail is the only thing visible from the drawn blinds. It’s swaying back and forth calmly. Poking it or stroking it caused a meow and a little black paw to lash out and strike the hand that dared to touch her precious tail.

“Honey?” You announce your approach.

You wrap your arms around Jiraiya from behind and hold him. You peer over his shoulder to see what he’s doing. He’s almost finished the final edit of his newest book, a sequel to his very first book. He stops petting Kumo and sets his hand over the words so you can’t see what’s written. He’s been secretive about his manuscript. You’ve barely read two words of it because he won’t let you read it. Rather adorably, he gets embarrassed if you ask too many questions about it. It only makes you more curious to what on earth mister porn writer could be flushed about you reading his work.

“You should take a break and freshen up.” You advise. “Naruto will be here any minute.”

“What? Is it five already?”

“Almost. Come on, I’ll help you.”

Jiraiya stands, shooing his three legged companion off his lap. Kumo makes a noise of complaint from being ejected from such a cozy spot. You hold your beloved’s hand as you lead him out of the office and into the bedroom. It’s hard to stay focused once there. Jiraiya couldn’t stop touching you. He tried to take off your clothes, grinning widely and wiggling his brows in a joking way. Now is not the time. You offer him a kiss, hoping that will satisfy him for now.

“Later.” You whisper.

“Looking forward to it.”

You help him get prim and proper. Jiraiya likes his simple clothing but you force him to dress a little nicer for the guests. He held the brush out to you, dangling it like a prize for you to take. You are the only person in this world he trusts with his hair. You roll your eyes and take the offering. You brush his hair and play with it. It’s still so pretty. It’s soft and fluffy. Sometimes he lets you braid it, which looks rather dashing on him. You move his mane away from his neck. The smallest section of a scar is poking out of his collar. You can’t resist giving it a kiss. He likes it when you pay those small marks on his body attention.

“Hmm...” Jiraiya hums as you pay him so much attention. “If you keep doing stuff like that I won’t be able to wait till later.”

“Calm down, honey. We all know what happened the last time you lost your patience.”

He chuckles. What’s a little accidental nudity among neighbours? He twists around and pins you down. He’s above you now. He leans down and kisses you. The simple kisses turn passionate. Soon his hand his moving under your shirt. You hum and pull the shoulders of his kimono down. His skin is soft and wonderfully warm.

“Pervy Sage! We’re here!” A familiar voice called.

Jiraiya sits up suddenly, leaving you breathless and a little needy. He smiles excitedly and grabs your hand. You are yanked off the bed and whisked away. He charges through the house to greet his godson happily. Of course it’s not just Naruto. Hinata had come as well. The newlyweds have been inseparable since they got together. It’s very sweet to see them so in love. The boys share a hug. Hinata turned red when your husband nearly killed her with his affectionate bear hug.

You had grown close to them both. Naruto saw you in a similar light to Jiraiya. You’ve grown motherly over him and it feels so good to have a person like him in your life. You really grew close to him when helping him in physical therapy for his amputated arm. The striking similarities between master and student was uncanny. He was just as positive and enthusiastic as Jiraiya was during such a difficult situation. The both of them make a few jokes at the expense of their lost limbs. Although Naruto had the advantage of his prosthetic now and could shoot a couple more japes at his one armed teacher.

You stay mindful of Hinata’s more reserved boundaries and offer the girl a less intense hug. You don’t know her as closely. She’s a good girl and a great influence on Naruto, so you do like her a lot. She’s just so quiet that holding a long conversation with her is hard. Which you can understand. You too are married to a loud bubbly chatter box and tend to be quieter. You welcome them in warmly.

Quickly the boys began to drink as the night went on. They’re both loud normally. With alcohol they’re a riot. Supper does little to absorb their alcohol or dull their volume. But everyone is happy. It’s just nice to live such a relaxing life. You rest your head against Jiraiya’s shoulder. You’ve grown sleepy. How they all can stay awake so late is baffling and slightly worrying. The warm hand you’ve come to know everything about strokes your back as if you urge you to sleep deeper.

It was close to midnight when your family left for their own home. You still leaned against Jiraiya as you said goodnight to them. He ushers you to bed. The moment you hit the sheets you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him overtop of you. He willingly fell and held you in a passionate kiss.

“Were you pretending to be sleepy?” He asks once the kiss breaks. 

“You know Naruto. I love him and he’s a wonderful man, but he just doesn’t want to leave unless it’s very clear he’s imposing.”

Jiraiya chuckles and shakes his head in amusement. It’s true but you rarely use such tactics just to get people out of the house. Not that he minds all that much. It means being along with you. You pull off his kimono after he pulled off your clothes. It’s not long until you’re moaning and gasping his name as the top of your head is being smacked against the headboard.

After another steamy love making session, you cuddle with your wonderful husband. Your body pressed against his. The feel of his skin against yours. He still flinches when you bump your arm against his stump.

“Sorry.” You whisper, finishing the apology with a kiss to his chest.

“Don’t apologize. I should be used to it by now.”

“It’s okay not to be.”

A deep sigh rocks you against him. Jiraiya moved his hand up your spine with a soft touch. It tickles but it’s not unpleasant. You stare up at him with a smile. You rub his shoulder and kiss his chest a few more times. It’s never fun to see him get down about his scars. You rest your head against his shoulder and grow sleepy.

A gentle kiss is pressed against the top of your head.

“I love you.” He whispers.

“I love you too.”

Your fingers brush and rub the scar on Jiraiya’s chest. Feeling it there was comforting. There’s something about that scar you like best. It’s gruesome in a way since it’s so close to his heart, but nice in what it represents. He’s your striving survivor. Without him you wouldn’t be so happy.

There’s light dips in the bed as the fluffier family members find spots on the bed to curl up and fall asleep. This is the life you always wanted. Peaceful and full of love. No one could wish for more.

You rest easy knowing that the next day will be just as perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to be dramatic but I would die for ragamuffin house husband cat dad Jiraiya. I got childfree and chilling with the furballs go full hobbit vibes from this scenario end and rolled with it hope that’s cool. To answer a few of the things that went unanswered based mostly on the reader’s perspective(skip to the last few lines if uninterested): Tsunade kinda kicked a poor man when he was down, telling Jiraiya that Naruto went to the toad mountain to learn without him then followed it up with that she does have feelings for him but wouldn’t be comfortable advancing their relationship and thought it would be best to stay friends. It bummed him out a lot and reader made him feel better by saying he wasn’t awful looking because he certainly felt awful.   
> He was constantly frustrated that he couldn’t tell you how he felt due to his fucked up throat. He really grew a crush on you once he got over his slump and the fact that you never really took pity on him and of course you thought he was hot. 10/10 he probably wrote your name in his notepad over and over with hearts and flowers doodled around it like a love struck teenager.  
> Kumo and Fuyu mean cloud and winter respectively(according to google don’t come for me if it’s wrong cuz I don’t care all that much).   
> Jiraiya is dedicating his newest book to you and based a character off of you. He doesn’t want you to see cuz he’s saving the reveal for after it gets released as a surprise.  
> Yeah I did skip over a lot for the sake of brevity, but there’s only so many ways to say they weren’t all that involved.   
> With that summed up, I hope you all enjoyed! I do love the he lived au ideas and it was super fun to explore this avenue without it being totally depressing.


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